


Stop Running

by BookTease



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-18 17:46:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 76
Words: 321,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8170408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookTease/pseuds/BookTease
Summary: Letting Jess leave was a big mistake. After "Bridesmaids Revisited", Rory breaks up with Logan -for good. While at Logan's to pack her things, she finds the postcard from Jess & goes to Philly. Can they stop running & admit their feelings for one another? What would happen if this was their chance? Will it work out? Different take on canon events. Will go into post-series.





	1. Chapter 1

“Here you are,” Logan said gently, seeing his girlfriend slumped over on a couch in the bride’s dressing room.

“Here I am,” Rory replied flatly.

“I was looking all over for you. I didn’t see you when I was walking down the aisle. Looked for you during the ceremony. Where were you?”

“Here,” Rory said matter-of-factly, gesturing to herself on the couch.

“Here? You missed the wedding?” Logan asked in confusion.

“I'll apologize to Honour later,” Rory said without looking at him.

“Forget Honour. What’s going on, Rory?”

“You didn't say a word. You just let me walk into a room full of girls you’d had sex with. Oh, no, wait. I'm sorry. You only had sex with two of them. One you just ‘fooled around with’ whatever that means. She spared me the parameters of the fooling around. You want to fill me in?”

Rory was fuming, staring at the man she had allowed herself to love. She could feel her cheeks burn with anger; her blue eyes were wide and resolute as she waited to hear what smooth talk Logan would use to explain himself.

“Rory…” Logan started to say.

Just hearing him say her name made her want to smack him. “You know what? Never mind. I've got a good imagination. I can figure it out.”

“Okay, look,”

“I can't believe it, you didn't just cheat on me, you really cheated on me,” Rory’s eyes were brimming with tears

“I didn't cheat on you,” Logan stated simply with amazing conviction, as if that was enough to render the case closed.

“Oh, so you didn't sleep with…”

“No, I did, but we were broken up.”

“No, you were broken up, not me. I thought we were just taking some time.”

“Apart, not seeing each other.”

“Yes, taking some time, not seeing each other for a while. That doesn't mean ‘broken up.’”

“Oh, come on!” Logan’s face twisted in anger, his brown eyes narrowing to dark slits.

“No! When…” Rory was yelling now. She forced herself to stop, organize her thoughts and steady her shaky voice before she continued, “To break up, you have to tell the other person. You can't just decide that you're broken off and then just go off and… God, I can't believe I fell for all your stupid tricks, the coffee cart and going to my mother. You went to my mother! Why would you bother going through that? You had plenty of backup; what do you need me for?”

“Because I love you,” Logan said immediately.

“No,” Rory said, shaking her head firmly. “Don’t.”

“Rory,” Logan felt himself becoming desperate, but his cocky confidence never wavered. His voice remained even and steady, “I didn't cheat on you. I didn't lie to you.”

“You didn't tell me!” Rory couldn’t believe how far he was taking this charade. He really, truly believed he could smooth talk his way out of anything.

“Of course not. Why would I want you to be hurt and upset and angry?”

“‘Blondie, dizzy’, I love the cover, pretending all those girls were worthless idiots.”

“They are worthless idiots, shooting their mouths off in front of you like that.”

“It's not their fault.”

“It is their fault. They love doing crap like this, causing trouble.”

Rory couldn’t believe what she was hearing. If scapegoating and shirking responsibility were to be made into an Olympic sport, Logan Huntzberger would be the undisputed gold medalist; he would hold his title for the rest of his earthly days, no one would ever hold a candle to him. She was through being just another notch in his belt of fools.

“We were only apart for like two seconds, and you managed to sleep with every one of your sister's friends. How did you even do that? I mean, did you work them in shifts? Were there charts, signals, b-12 shots?”

“I was depressed. I was lonely. I was upset. I've known these girls forever. It was just companionship, okay? It meant nothing.”

Rory inwardly cursed herself for buying into his bullshit for almost two years. Her anger seethed further still when she thought about how readily she’d made excuses for him, defended him to everyone who warned her that he was no good for her.

She felt a fresh sting of pain when she pictured the face of the last person she’d driven away. The image of Jess walking away from her was all she needed to finally realize that there was no excuse, there never had been. A sinister laugh escaped her lips when she realized with perfect clarity that Jess wasn’t just right about the Yale debacle, he was right about everything; even after all of the pain they caused each other, there was no denying that he really did know her better than anyone.

She snapped out of her inner monologue when she saw Logan staring at her; apparently her prolonged silence allowed him to believe he actually had a shot of weaseling out of the mess he’d made. No. Not anymore.

“Don’t be at the apartment between ten and one tomorrow so I can get my stuff,” she said definitively. She turned on her heel and storming down the hallway away from Logan, towards the blaring sounds of his sister’s wedding reception without looking back.

Rory walked at the clipped pace that comes with conviction and purpose. She realized that she felt a greater sense of conviction in walking away from Logan than she had about anything in a frighteningly long time. Walking away from Logan, Rory felt like she was walking towards her life, which she had made such a fantastic mess of. With each stride increasing the distance between them, Rory was sure that this was the monumental first step; everything would be fixed, of this she was certain. She was walking away from Logan, back to the version of herself she knew and recognized, back to the hard-working, Yale-Daily-News-perfectionist, pro/con list-making Rory who dreamed of being a journalist. Walking away from Logan she was leaving behind the sluggish, unmotivated, lazy, partying Rory he’d helped her turn into. The sheer joy that overwhelmed her when she thought of these truths was enough to make her giggle and her footsteps quickened and fell into a rhythm which had her practically skipping, feeling lighter than air.

She had to call Paris to ask if she could crash there tonight. There was no way she wanted to run the risk of seeing Logan before going to the apartment to gather her things. And now that she was thinking of it, she had another epiphany of sorts: she would be perfectly happy if she never saw Logan again, ever. Rory knew it would never be that simple but still, this made her smile wider and she let out an honest laugh. She could not get out of this cursed banquet hall fast enough; away from anyone with the name Huntzberger.

Her mind was getting away from her. First thing’s first. Call Paris. Tell her she needed to move back in.

Beyond making sure she could move back in with Paris and going back to Logan’s tomorrow to gather all of her belongings, she didn’t need a pro/con list to tell her where she had to go, who she needed to talk to before anyone else, even her mom.

Getting away from Logan was a crucial first step, but Rory knew she needed to make things right with Jess. She’d spend tonight at Paris’ apartment and try to blow off steam. She’d go to Logan’s place promptly at ten tomorrow to gather her belongings and drop everything off with Paris.

Then, she needed to get to Philadelphia as soon as possible. She found herself praying that she hadn’t screwed up beyond repair, praying that things could be fixed. She was done running from Jess and denying the strength of their connection. All she could do was hope that it wasn’t too late to fix everything, hope with all her heart that now that she finally knew what she wanted, he wouldn’t bolt. She was tired of running away from Jess, now all she wanted to do was run to him –be with him; with him, everything made sense. She should have gone after him that night, the last time she saw him. Now she was terrified by the creeping thought that it might be too late. But she had to try. Rory was sure that if they could work through it, Jess was her future. She wasn’t scared of what she felt anymore, that she finally understood. What terrified her was the possibility that they’d pushed each other away too many times. What if it was too late?

* * *

Last time she saw Jess a few months ago, he’d brought her his book –she was still so proud that he’d written a book; she always knew he was capable of great things, he had such a great brain, he might even be smarter than her- and he told her he was living in Philadelphia, working at Truncheon, the publishing house that released his book.

Throughout all of the running away –he from her, she from him- and the inevitable heartache that followed, they always found their way back to each other. Neither one of them was afraid to hurt each other’s feelings. Underneath all of the miscommunication, mixed signals and abandonment, they hurt each other because they loved each other, in the scary-grown-up, you’re-the-only-one-I-want sort of way, though neither of them ever said the words out loud to the other (Jess said it once, and then got in his car and left and Rory didn’t see him for months). When you’re a teenager, that kind of love scares the hell out of you. It was no wonder they hurt each other so much.

Every time one of them pushed away, they always found their way back to each other, against their own better judgments and the strong warnings of danger from almost everyone else. In spite of all of that, it was always just Rory and Jess at the end of the day; they always found their way back together like metal finds a magnet. The universe was trying really hard; if they listened intently enough, they could probably almost hear the cosmos cooing, “Patience, grasshopper”.

His words had been harsh and biting, but he spoke the truth from a place of love.

“Jess, wait,” she’d said with a tone of desperation, running after him.

Jess stopped and turned to look at her. His face was stern; he let out a sigh of exasperation.

“Jess, I'm sorry,” Rory said helplessly.

“We shouldn't have done this,” Jess said, not bothering to conceal his disdain as he absentmindedly buttoned his denim jacket.

“He's just in a bad way lately,”

“He's a jerk,” Jess spat out. His brown eyes were fierce, dark pools, aimed right at Rory. A lock of his dark hair fell carelessly across his face. His stubbly jaw was set in a frown; his brow creased in frustration. He ran a hand through his hair violently and dropped it to his side, clenching it in a tight fist over and over in an effort to calm himself.

“He was, in there. Definitely. I'm so sorry.” Rory knew it was pathetic, before she even finished saying the words.

“I read that guy the second I saw him. I should have begged off.”

“Well, I didn't want you to,” desperation was creeping into her voice.

“He better not come out here,” Jess said angrily.

“Please, Jess. He had a lot to drink. He's tired from travelling. This isn't him. I swear.” There she was again, making excuses for her lay about boyfriend to the one person in the world she knew would never let her get away with it. Logan had just ruthlessly –and drunkenly- mocked Jess and everything he’d accomplished after crashing her dinner plans with him. Rory shouldn’t have been trying to defend him. And yet…

“What the hell is going on?” Jess asked desperately.

“I told you. He's tired, and his family's bugging him right now… ” She really was pathetic. She wasn’t even grasping at straws anymore, she was grasping at toothpicks; short, thin, pointy toothpicks which could be used to inflict tiny wounds.

“No, no. I mean with you,” Jess’s anger was rising. “What's going on with you?”

“What do you mean?” Rory asked, crossing her arms over her chest, trying and failing to convince him she didn’t know exactly what he was talking about.

“You know what I mean,” Jess said, not even trying to hide his frustration. “I know you. I know you better than anyone. This isn't you!”

“I don't know,” Rory said shakily, forcing the words out past the lump that was forming in her throat.

“What are you doing?!” Jess bit back, much sharper than before. “Living at your grandparents' place, being in the DAR, no Yale...WHY did you drop out of Yale?!”

“It's complicated.” Rory could feel her control slipping away because Jess was making perfect sense.

“It's not! It's not complicated,” Jess yelled. He almost reached out to grab her by the arms and literally try to shake some sense into her. But he repressed the urge and made do with closing the distance between them. They were almost the same height; by closing the foot wide gap between them, Jess was able to hold her gaze and make it almost impossible for her to shatter the intense mood of the exchange.

“You don't know,” Rory said quietly. The look he was giving her right now was too much –the intense furrow in his brow, his mouth twisted into a lopsided scowl.

“This isn't you. This –you going out with this jerk, with the Porsche- we made fun of guys like this,” he said a little more gently.

“You caught him on a bad night,” Rory said for the umpteenth time; she knew she should have something better to say, but she just didn’t. Jess was right. She knew Jess was right, so why couldn’t she just admit it and end this torture she was putting them both through?

“This isn't about him!” Jess screamed. “Okay, screw him. What's going on with you? This isn't you, Rory. You know it isn't. What's going on?”

“I don't know,” all of Rory’s resolve was melting away from a combination of how disturbingly true this conversation was, and because of the man standing before her. How fitting that for two years she encouraged him, nurtured his potential and wanted to help him achieve great things; that scared him, so he ran away because he didn’t know what else to do. And here he was, all mature and grown into himself, potential fully realized; everything she always wanted for him. Now she was the one acting like a bumbling fool and pushing him away. The painful irony was not lost on her. “I don't know,” Rory repeated quietly, staring at her feet, willing herself to keep it together.

Jess immediately noticed the change in her. Her walls were down and she was dangerously close to crumbling at his feet. He looked at her gently and softened, “Hey, uh... may-may-maybe we'll catch up at a better time,” he said, reaching out to cup her elbow, but stopped just short of actually touching her. Even though Rory was wearing a tweed jacket against the autumn cold, she could feel the warmth that radiated off his skin as his hand ghosted her arm. Jess turned and started to leave, but after a few paces he stopped and faced her. “Happy birthday, by the way. Wasn't that a couple weeks ago, your birthday?”

Rory nodded. Jess nodded back in acknowledgement, smiled softly and left. Rory watched him go and fought the overwhelming urge to run after him, wrap her arms around him and apologize for everything, past and present. She longed for nothing more than to cling to him and never let him go again. She was tired of the two of them always walking away. She didn’t want to do it anymore.

Instead she stood with her feet firmly rooted to the pavement, watching him walk away until he was out of sight, at which point a silent tear escaped and trailed a warm path down her cheek. She didn’t bother wiping it away, she just focused on feeling of the streak of wetness left in its wake; she watched it tumble off the edge of her jaw and hit the pavement.

All of the drama between them happened so long ago; she had to believe that things could be different now, that together, they could work through it and finally stop denying how well they fit together and understood each other. She would make things right with him. She had to. She needed him.


	2. Chapter 2

Rory had gone straight from the wedding to Paris’ place, not even bothering to stop by the apartment she shared with Logan to grab a change of clothes. She sat in the sketchy apartment she and Paris once shared, paint curling off the walls, with neighbours cursing and dogs barking all around. She was pretty sure the couch she was sitting on had all sorts of disgusting critters crawling inside the cushions. It briefly occurred to her that the beautiful gown she was wearing should probably be sacrificed in a bonfire. She shrugged the thought off, less upset by the idea of burning such a beautiful dress than she should be. She concluded that it would be a very fitting way to bring closure the events of the day.

The first thing Rory did was call her mom. “Hey, it’s me,”she said when Lorelai picked up the phone.

“Hey, you! How was the wedding?”

“Sucko. I've got a new address for you.”

“Uh-oh.”

“Yeah,” Rory said with a sigh. “I’m back at Paris’ place. Look, I really don’t want to get into it now, okay? Paris has ordered food and I just need to…. Wallow. I’ll explain everything soon, I promise.”

“Okay,” Lorelai said gently. “Love you, kid. Say hi to Paris for me.”

“Bye, Mom,” Rory said, flipping her phone shut and tossing it down next to her in the corner of the couch.

“I say we repaint,” Paris said, as she plunked down next to Rory, reaching for her Chinese takeout on the coffee table.

“Did you ever paint?” Rory asked, twirling noodles around her chopsticks and tilting her head back to lower the food in.

“No, Doyle doesn't believe in improving someone else's property.”

“Men!”

“Yeah, men.”

“Well, we will repaint.”

“A new colour scheme for a new era,” Paris said with a decisive nod.

“I'll eat to that,” Rory smiled. They toasted to it by knocking their chopsticks together.

“Hey this is gonna be great. You and me and a freshly painted apartment, no men –just lots and lots of Chinese food.”

“We are going to get huge.” Rory said, even though at that moment she could care less.

“That's okay. We'll get a treadmill,” Paris said nonchalantly.

“Yeah, you always wanted a treadmill.”

“I did. Doyle thought, ‘why get a treadmill when you can walk outside?’”

“With all the murderers and rapists.”

“Exactly what I would say. I’m glad you're back.”

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Rory and Paris looked at each other quizzically.

“Did we actually order that pizza?” Paris asked.

“I thought it was just discussed.”

“Who is it?” Paris shouted from the couch, too lazy to get up.

“It's Logan.” Rory shot up off the couch, suddenly a bundle of nervous energy. “I don't want to talk to him.”

“I got it,” Paris said, getting up off the couch and putting on her game face before opening the door. “Well, well, if it isn't New Haven's favourite whore hound.”

“Is Rory here?” Logan asked impatiently, trying to see past Paris.

“Yes,” Paris said icily, preparing to unleash.

“Can I talk to her?” Logan asked, running a hand through his messy blond hair.

“No. You can talk to me,” Paris shut the door briefly to unchain the lock. When she opened it again, she held Logan captive with her eyes, a look of unmitigated disgust radiating from every feature in her face. She planted her feet firmly and prepared to give him the nasty verbal beating he deserved. “What do you want to talk about –life, love, common symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases?”

“Rory…” Logan started to say.

“Rashes, sores, insanity,” Paris continued without missing a beat.

“Five minutes, please!” Logan tried again.

“You know,” Paris said, talking right over top of him, “there are a few things I've always wanted to say to you, but out of respect for my friend Rory here, I've refrained. However, the circumstances seem to have changed.”

“You don't know what you're talking about Paris...”

“I know you cheated on Rory.”

“I did not cheat on Rory.”

“Are you going to deny it? Are you serious?”

“We were apart.”

“Oh, please!”

“We were! We weren't together! And why the hell am I arguing with you? I don't want you back.” Logan was getting furious. He tried to push past Paris, and even though he had several inches over her, she wasn’t budging. Even Logan knew better than to physically overpower a woman.

Paris saw him roll his eyes. His posture betrayed the tiniest bit of defeat and she knew that now was the time to deliver the final blow. She let out a steady breath and looked at him with a smug smile. This, she was going to savor. “You, Logan Huntzberger, are nothing but a two-bit, spoiled waste of a trust fund. You offer nothing to women or the world in general. If you were to disappear from the face of the earth tomorrow, the only person that would miss you is your Porsche dealer.”

“Want to chime in here?” Logan shouted at Rory, his hands waving in the air like he was trying to stop himself from sinking.

“No, I think Paris has got it covered,” Rory shot back. At the last instant before Logan looked away, she seemed to reconsider. “Logan?” she said with wide eyes, her voice increasing an octave, giving off the impression of panic.

Logan locked eyes with her from the doorway. He instantly felt himself relax, his worry lines melted away and a smile played at the corners of his mouth; he let out a sigh and ran a hand through his blond hair again. He shifted his weight to finally push past Paris. Paris remained firmly rooted in the doorway, sturdy as stone. Logan felt his anger slowly bubble up again; they weren’t school children drawing battle lines in the playground. “Rory?...” Logan said slowly, pronouncing each syllable of her name deliberately like you would with a child you were losing patience with. He kept his tone light; he was asking a question, awaiting permission; not scolding a disobedient little girl. As much as he believed he’d done nothing wrong, he’d obviously hurt her, badly. She had every right to be angry, whether he agreed with the reasoning behind it or not. He had to regain her trust; he had a lot of mistakes to make up for. But he would do that; he would do anything it took to win back her trust, he loved her. He would do anything it took to prove to her that he loved her, only her, if only she would just give him a chance to…

“Don’t forget to be out of the apartment tomorrow, promptly at ten,” Rory said with such coldness she could barely recognize her own voice. “I don’t want you anywhere near that place, do you understand? If you are even loitering in the hallway to try and convince me to give you another chance, I. Will. Hurt. You. You got that Huntzberger? We are done! Find some other pathetic tramp to cheat on and crawl back to shamelessly. You are absolutely brilliant Logan! But you are too chronically lazy to put in an honest day’s work and you refuse to take advantage of amazing professional opportunities that almost anyone else would kill for,” she paused, choosing her final words carefully. She wanted to hit him below the belt and she knew just what would do it. Rory wanted to throw Jess’ description of Logan back at him, to have those words be the final nail in the coffin of their relationship. Jess’ summation of Logan was so perfect she couldn’t have thought of a better way to purge herself of him once and for all, even if she tried, “And Logan?” she paused for dramatic effect, “Jess was right; you really are nothing more than ‘The Blond Dick at Yale’. Grow up. And stay the fuck away from me.”

With that, Paris flipped him the finger and slammed the door in his face, securing the locks in the same swift movement. She sauntered back over to the couch, triumphantly high-fiving Rory as they sat back down. “Nicely played, Gilmore! That doe-eyed Bambi bit was a nice touch, letting him think he’d won you over. And sealing the deal with an F-bomb? Truly inspired. I didn’t know you had that kind of rage in you. All this time, I thought I was carrying that kind of rage for both of us.”

“Well, if the journalist thing doesn’t work out, becoming an actress is clearly my calling. I’ve watched enough television with my mom to learn from the best. Hell, I have been at the feet of masters of rage my entire life –my mom with my grandparents; my grandparents in general; Luke is downright artistic, the way he lets his anger simmer to a boiling point. Plus, you and I started out as sworn enemies, so you gave me the perfect opportunity to hone my craft,” Rory said earnestly.

Paris became genuinely choked up, “It was an honour, being your sworn enemy Rory Gilmore.” Realizing that her emotions ran the risk of becoming awkward, she blinked back her tears, let her face go back to neutral and picked up her neglected Chinese food. She did her best to be subtle in broaching the topic she’d been dying to ask about for the last several minutes. “Did I hear you right back there? ‘Jess was right’?”

Rory took a deep, calming breath. “Yeah, you heard right.”

Paris remembered Rory telling her about Jess’ unexpected visit. She was buzzing with excitement over all that Jess had accomplished. She also reluctantly recounted how Logan had shown up unexpectedly, ruining their night out and how Logan and Jess nearly came blows in the restaurant. Paris remembered Jess from when he first showed up in Stars Hollow, when they were in high school; she’d stopped by Rory’s house one night in an anxiety-induced rage when they were having dinner. There was enough food at the table to feed a small army, and because Rory didn’t have a malicious bone in her body, she’d invited her to stay even after it became clear to Paris that she’d interrupted something. Jess was none too pleased that their privacy had been disturbed; Paris remembered thinking that if glares had the power to kill, Jess’ would have dealt a fatal blow. At first she thought he was nothing but an arrogant ass, but once they started eating, discussion quickly turned to debating literature and she and Jess ended up a having lively battle over the merits of Kerouac. He turned out to be much more than met the eye, she was almost sorry she’d initially judged him so harshly. That night was the first night Paris ever really had fun as a teenager. When Dean burst in later, ready to blow a gasket after finding out Jess had been there, Paris jumped in to cover for Rory before thinking twice, making up some story about how she had a crush on Jess and had begged Rory to set up the meeting. Rory was truly shocked that Paris would get her out of a jam with her boyfriend, especially considering all they’d done up to that point in time was trade verbal punches and try to out-perform each other at Chilton. Now that she thought of it, that night signaled the turning of the tide; that was the night she and Rory stopped being enemies and started being friends. “He really called Logan ‘The Blond Dick at Yale’?” Paris asked.

“To his face,” Rory confirmed.

“Wow,” Paris could think of nothing else to say. Rory nodded and chewed her lower lip, unsure whether to share the revelation of how she snapped out of her funk and returned to Yale. “There’s something I didn’t tell you,” she said slowly, “about what happened when Jess came here.”

“Oh?” Paris said, forcing herself to be patient and let Rory decide how she wanted to continue. “Did something happen between you two?” As soon as the words escaped her mouth she scolded herself, but she couldn’t help it; when silence stretched on too long she immediately found something to say to fill the void. Patience was never a virtue of Paris’.

“No!” Rory said, a little too loudly. She shook her head and took a deep breath. “No, nothing like that. When Jess stormed out of the bar after Logan’s disgusting display and I followed him, he…” she paused again, closed her eyes and continued, “he asked me what the hell I was doing. He just kept saying over and over again that this wasn’t me, going out with a jerk like Logan, living with my grandparents, being in the DAR and dropping out of Yale. He said he knew me better than anyone; that he knew all of that wasn’t me, and what the hell was I doing? All I could do was continue to make flimsy excuses for Logan’s behaviour. I was such an idiot, trying to defend him when I knew Jess was right. Logan was an ass. His behaviour that night disgusted me. I shouldn’t have been sticking up for him. When Jess pressed me for answers about what the hell I was doing with my life, I tried to tell him it was complicated. He lost it. I thought he was going to grab me and try to shake some sense into me. He just screamed at me, ‘It’s not! It’s not complicated! This isn’t you!’” Rory stopped here; her bottom lip was quivering and the lump in her throat was so big it was painful.

Paris stayed quiet, sensing that Rory had more to say. She rubbed a soothing hand on her friend’s back.

Despite Rory trying with all her strength to hold her emotions in, a few pained sobs escaped her lips. Once she let them out she shook it off, wiped away the rogue tears that betrayed her eyes and took another few deep breaths. “It was him Paris, he’s the one who got through to me. Jess is the reason I came back to Yale.” Finally admitting the truth out loud, a whole new round of sobs tore from Rory’s chest. “And I should have followed him, Paris,” she said through her tears. “But I let him leave! I went back into the bar, like a fool. I told Logan off and I left and I should have gone after him! I shouldn’t have let him leave! Jess and I are always leaving each other, Paris. I’m so tired of letting him leave. The other times, when we were younger, I couldn’t have stopped him, he was messed up and he needed to find his own way. When he asked me to go to New York with him at the end of freshman year I knew I couldn’t. I knew he wasn’t as together as he thought he was. I had to let him leave then. I wish we could have been ready for each other, but we weren’t, so I had to push him away; I had to let him go. But this time, I shouldn’t have let him leave! I should have gone after him!”

“Rory,” Paris said gently. “That was two months ago. You just broke up with Logan today. Why did you stay with him after what happened with Jess, if you knew he was right?”

“Because I’m a fucking idiot!” Rory screamed, so loudly that her voice cracked. “After Logan sobered up, I was trying to convince myself that everything would be okay. So I got my shit together. I moved out of my grandparents’ place; I quit the DAR; I re-enrolled at Yale. Logan was better, he apologized for that night and went back to being sweet and charming, so when I moved out of my grandparents’ house I moved in with him because things were good with us Paris, and I wanted to hold on to that. I wanted to believe he had changed. But Logan will be Logan. When we first got together he told me he wasn’t the boyfriend type. It’s not like I didn’t know his score the moment we met. You told me I was Annette Bening, remember? I landed The Whale?”

Paris nodded wordlessly.

“The Whale’s been pulling my puppet strings for almost two years, and I’ve let him! When I found out today he cheated on me, you want to know the worst part? I saw it coming from miles away! He hasn’t changed; I never changed him. He’s never been anything but a playboy. I was his toy. I believe that he loves me, but he never loved me enough to change. I’m a fool.”

Paris got up to fetch a blanket; Rory was crying with such force that she was trembling. Her thin formal gown was offering no protection from the tremors that rippled through her. Sitting back down and draping the soft throw blanket around Rory’s tiny shoulders, she wrapped her arms around her friend. “Rory, look at me,” she said, taking her by the shoulders and shifting her so that Rory had to look at her. “You. Are not. A fool. You were out of school for almost a full semester, but you snapped out of it faster than I thought possible. In a matter of weeks, you were back in school working double time to make up the classes you missed; you came back to the Yale Daily News and were voted in as editor to right the ship after I almost sunk it.

“You thought Logan was making good. He was your boyfriend. Asshole tendencies aside, he has proved more than once that he loved you, despite his wandering eye. You had every reason to trust him. The good news is, when he reverted back to his caveman form, you recognized it and got the hell out of dodge. Logan was your boyfriend. “Jess hasn’t been your boyfriend for three years; when he was, he had a lot of problems that he needed to figure out. Once he got himself together, he came back to tell you he couldn’t have done it without you, right? Seeing him after all this time, so totally together had to have thrown you, especially considering that he came back at the same time your life was spinning out of control. I don’t blame you for not chasing after him in that moment, and you shouldn’t blame yourself.

“Logan was your boyfriend,” Paris repeated. “Your allegiances belonged to him. You made the best decision you could. You needed time to process. And it looks like you’ve used that time wisely, and processed everything just fine.”

Rory was suddenly exhausted. She burrowed on the warmth of the blanket and managed a weak smile. Her face was clammy and her eyes were swollen from crying. As usual, Paris was right; Rory loved her friend’s uncompromising ability to cut right to the chase; wade through all the bullshit and get right to the truth. This situation demanded a delicate touch, a sensitivity that she rarely saw in Paris. Rory couldn’t help thinking that it almost felt like she was talking to Lane.

After a few minutes, Paris broke the silence, choosing her words carefully. “Does Jess know?” she started, unsure of how to clarify her question. When Rory looked at her but made no attempt to answer, Paris tried again. “Does Jess know that you came back to Yale? Did you ever tell him that he was the one who got through to you? Does he know he was the one who snapped you out of your funk and got you back on the right track?”

“No,” Rory said shamefully. She felt tears brimming in her eyes again; she just let them fall silently. “I wanted to tell him, I really did. But I was such an idiot last time we spoke that I have never been able to bring myself to do it. I made such a fool of myself. I’ve been too embarrassed. I don’t know what to say.”

“Rory, yes you do.”

“I treated him like shit, Paris. I let him walk away and I went back to Logan. Once again, I didn’t choose him. Why would he ever want to hear from me, or listen to what I have to say?”

“Rory, come on. You know he would listen to you. He cares about you. Why do you think he came all the way here from Philadelphia to bring you his book?”

“He was here on business, distributing it to local book stores. He made a pit stop to see me,” Rory said tersely.

“Bull. He came to see you. He could have written, emailed or told Luke to tell you. Luke’s his uncle, right? Hell, he could have sent the book in the mail. He came to see you! He wanted to bring it to you himself. You were not just a pit stop. He came here for you.”

Rory rolled her eyes. “I screwed it up Paris. Again.”

“But it’s not too late to fix it, Rory. As I remember it, you were more than patient with him when you guys were dating. He hurt you on a regular basis –badly- while he was working through all of his shit. You were patient with him the whole time. You guys didn’t work out back then and he broke your heart, but you found a way to move past it. The two of you are so much more than the heartache you caused each other. He understands, Rory. I mean, he’ll understand what you’re going through now, because it’s the same thing he was going through back then. After everything, how can you believe that he won’t have the heart to be as patient with you as you were with him? He –of all people- will understand.”

The instant she walked away from Logan earlier that day, Rory knew that she needed to go to Philadelphia to talk to Jess. But now that the confrontation with Logan was over, she shrank in the face of her own cowardliness. And just like every other time she was about to get to the root of her connection with Jess, she was frozen with fear. When Jess was afraid he bolted, so she never had to do anything about the fact that she was frozen. But it appeared that Jess had grown out of his bolting phase, which meant it was her turn to grow up and meet him half way. When he walked away from her a few months ago, that was his way of telling her that it was her turn and she’d foolishly let the window of opportunity close. She was convinced it was too late.

“You have to tell him, Rory,” Paris said, shattering the bubble of her thoughts.

“He knows, Paris. He’s Luke’s nephew, remember? And Luke is engaged to my mom. Believe me, Luke knew I was back at Yale the instant my mom did. I know Luke talks to Jess regularly; I know he told him.”

“But does your mom or Luke know that Jess was the one who snapped you out of it? Jess told you everything you already knew, everything everyone else had already told you. But it had to come from him for you to finally hear it and then fix it. I bet you you didn’t tell your mom or Luke that Jess was the one to set you straight, if I’m just hearing about it now. Did you tell them that part?”

“No,” Rory said quietly.

“You have to tell him, Rory. He deserves to hear it, from you. You owe him that.”

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?” Rory said shakily.

“He does,” Paris said simply.

“What if he doesn’t want to listen to me?”

“He does, and he will.”

“What if he walks away?”

“He won’t. And if he does, then at least you’ll have closure; you’ll know you did everything you could, that you made sure he understood. Then if he walks away, you can move on. But he won’t walk away.”

“Paris, what if it’s too late?”

“It isn’t. But if you don’t go now –if you wait much longer- it will be.”

Rory was running out of ways to evaluate the situation. Every question she had inevitably had the same answer. She needed to swallow her fear and go to Philadelphia to talk to Jess. She knew the only reason Paris was being so gentle was because of the events of the day. If she held out and tried to debate the issue further, she would be sparring against the Paris who leveled her barrels at Logan. If it came to that, Paris would escort her to Philadelphia and lock her in a room with Jess, standing guard outside the door to be sure that neither of them escaped until Rory said her piece. Rory didn’t want to face off against the hardened Paris she was used to; she knew she would lose.

“I have to go to Logan’s tomorrow to get my stuff,” Rory said, which was the closest she would come to admitting defeat in the matter.

“I know, I heard that part,” Paris said. “I can go with you if you want. Incase he’s there? I can tackle him to the ground and imprison him in the hallway, if he happens to be there.”

For the first time since this awful day began, Rory heard herself laugh. “No, that’s okay. Logan is persistent, but think after today even he’s worn out the tactic of following me around to wear me down.”

“Okay, but if he’s there, or if he shows up, you call me. I’ll tackle him.”

“Deal.”

“What about Philadelphia?” Paris asked carefully.

“I have to deal with one thing at a time Paris. Let me get my stuff from Logan’s; get some space and perspective and work through my thoughts. I will go, but I need to give it some time. I can’t crumble in front of Jess the way I did with you just now. I need to at least get to the point where if I am going to crumble, I can say my piece before I do. I’ll go soon though, I promise.”

“Fair enough. You know if you try to avoid it I’ll drive you there myself. I will lock you two in a room,” Paris warned, narrowing her eyes.

“Yes. I am aware that coming from you, that is the farthest thing from an idle threat,” Rory said with a weak smile. “Again I say: I will go soon, I promise.” After a moment, she added, “Don’t say anything to my mom okay? I mean, if you happen to talk to her. I told her I would talk about it when I was ready. I need to clear the air with Jess before I talk to her about all this, because she’ll want to dissect everything. I’m not ready for that yet.”

“Understood.”

This day seemed to have gone on forever. This morning felt like a million years ago. Rory had a hard time believing how everything that had happened managed to take place in a single day. Suddenly, she was so exhausted she could barely sit up. All of the emotion of the day had drained every ounce of energy out of her. “I have to go to bed,” she said, fighting to keep her eyes open. She knew tomorrow would bring a whole new round of exhausting emotions; she needed every bit of rest she could get.


	3. Chapter 3

Rory woke up in the morning stiff and sore, but rested. She was so spent, she fell sound asleep the instant her head hit the pillow and she didn’t stir. Didn’t move at all. She woke up in the exact same position she fell asleep in. She was still in the twilight state that existed between dreams and sleep, though her slumber the night before had been a dreamless oblivion; thank God. As she slowly became alert, her eyes shot to the clock on the sagging nightstand of her former bedroom. Eight-thirty.

As the blissful ignorance of sleep receded, Rory felt anxiety grip her as she remembered all of the events of the previous day. She had to be at Logan’s apartment in ninety minutes to gather all of her things. Her breath was coming out in shallow gasps before she even sat up; she broke out into a cold sweat and her ears started humming. For a brief moment, she was legitimately afraid she might pass out. Rory remained lying on the bed –still in her dress she’d worn to the wedding, still only covered by the soft blanket Paris had thrown around her shoulders after Logan left- for what seemed like an eternity.

A violent jolt shook through her when the sticky bedroom door opened with a thud. Slowly, she forced herself to sit up as Paris entered. Rory mindlessly wiped the sleep out of her eyes and leaned forward with her elbows on her knees, letting her head fall into her hands. Was it possible to feel like you’ve woken up with the worst hangover of your life if you never consumed any alcohol the night before?

“Good God Gilmore,” Paris said flatly. “You look like you were knocked unconscious by a Mack Truck,”

“Why thank you Paris,” Rory grumbled, her head still in her hands. “There’s the sworn enemy of my past that I’ve missed so much.”

“Oh don’t get your knickers in a knot. Here,” Paris stuck a mug under Rory’s nose.

Rory perked up upon smelling the coffee, though her position barely changed. She slowly released one hand from her head and groped blindly in front of her, in search of the mug. Once she found it, Paris took her by the wrist until her hand found purchase and grasped the handle. With coffee in her grasp, she found the strength to sit up properly and gulped the coffee greedily, emptying the cup in three huge swallows. She silently shoved the empty vessel in Paris’ direction.

“Okay. I realize yesterday was rough, but what am I, your maid? Please do not get accustomed to the gentleness I showed you yesterday. I was adapting to unprecedented circumstances; I figured I could be a pillar of support, seeing as you’d finally unloaded Richie Rich and your emotions are running extra high because of this Jess thing,”

Rory’s face twisted slightly at Jess’ name, partly through remembering how foolish she’d been that night and partly because her stomach was doing somersaults, she was so terrified of going to talk to him and in so doing, finally admitting to the hold he still had on her. Suddenly, she was regretting gulping that coffee down without bothering to breathe between mouthfuls.

“For God’s sake Rory, did you have alcohol stashed in your bra that you stole from the Huntzberger wedding? After crying your heart out did you come in here and drink yourself to the brink of unconsciousness? Because you look like you’re about to hurl.”

“Again, thank you Paris, for your touching concern for my well-being. What you are seeing here –though it may still be hard to spot despite your emotional growth over the last several years- is a human being in pain. Emotional pain, unsullied by the sedation of drugs or alcohol. Real, genuine, emotional, human pain.”

“I have all sorts of anti-anxiety meds, if you want some. A low dose of Ativan to take the edge off? You can take some with you to Logan’s, incase anxiety tightens its noose when you’re in the belly of the beast."

“You know Paris, you’re not doing wonders for me here. Aside from the coffee you brought me, you’re just making this whole day seem like it’s off to a worse start than even I could imagine –and I have a better imagination than you when it comes to things beyond _inflicting_ aforementioned emotional pain that is central to the human experience.”

“Oh relax, Emily Bronte. We are far too young yet for our heights to be in any way wuthered. No one’s dying and haunting the other, driving them to insanity. Now, you and Jess on the other hand…”

“Paris,” Rory said with an edge to her tone. She shot her friend a look that had her normally bright blue eyes darkened with a warning, _tread lightly or suffer the consequences_.

“Okay, okay,” was the best Paris could do at a peace offering. She sat down on the bed beside her friend. “That was a little hyperbolic and possibly below the belt. I’m sorry. You’ll talk to him when you’re ready, I know.”

Rory gave her friend another warning glare –albeit a slightly softer one.

Rory wanted to make things right with Jess more than she wanted anything else in the world at this moment; she just had no idea where to start. How to even begin trying to right all of the wrongs not just of the last few months, but of their entire history together. She would have to go to Philadelphia; he had to want to see her. They had to talk. Not just about books and music, but about _them_ –what they wanted from each other, if in fact they both wanted anything out of each other at all. Somewhere deep down inside her soul, Rory knew this was their last chance to figure out what they were to each other, what they wanted from each other and how or even if they could make it work if they both wanted the same things. All of this would need to be figured out slowly and one thing at a time, but the gist of it was simple: They’d spent six years hurting each other, though Rory knew, deep in her heart that neither of them hurt each other intentionally, despite the alarming frequency with which they’d disappointed each other.

Deep down inside her soul, Rory knew. This was it. If they couldn’t figure it out now, it would be over. The idea of losing him for good terrified her in ways she never thought possible.

Dean was a great boyfriend and she loved him for a long time, but she grew out of that, as most people do with their first love. Though she would always regret the hurt she caused him with the Jess thing and the mess she made of his life later on, losing him hadn’t wrecked her, not really.

Logan was a whole different animal. He was wild playboy she thought she had the ability to tame, into the exact type of long-term-relationship-guy that he had no bones about admitting he definitely was not. She tried to stay with him and she was successful for a long time. But in the end it came down to Logan allowing her to believe that he’d changed when in fact he was the same chronically lazy, lush playboy he was when they first met. Once the sadness over his betrayal wore off and the anger she felt towards herself for not knowing any better started to dissipate, she knew she was better off without him.

It’s true, he did love her. But he never loved her enough to stop hurting her; he never loved her enough to stop her from turning into the exact person she never wanted to be –a person like him who had allowed his amazing intellect and potential be overshadowed by a crippling fear of an honest day’s work, much more content to drown his sorrows at the local pub, wasting a life which could very easily have him poised for greatness. The truth of it was, Logan was barely a man; rather than work toward a professional life and reputation he could be proud of –God knows, he was smart, incredibly learned and extremely gifted- he was content to get drunk and spend his life riding on the coattails of the Huntzberger name only when it suited him. He’d tried to pull Rory into that world of laziness and partying and she’d let him. He took her so far away from herself she barely knew where to begin trying to find her way back to the confident, smart, strong, determined woman she had been before he crept into her life like a snake. Rory knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that she was better off without Logan.

Rory was finally seeing clearly. She and Jess had always been right for each other, but they were never ready for each other. Could they be ready now? Could they learn from all of their combined calamities of the past and finally be on the same page together? Rory and Jess were great at talking, but actually communicating with each other was entirely different –that, they’d never been good at. Jess was a master of evasion, he avoided truly opening up about his feelings at all costs, preferring to deftly cover the truth in thinly veiled allusions and monosyllabic answers. He processed things privately, which doesn’t bode well in a relationship. One of Rory’s biggest frustrations was that she never knew what he was thinking; whenever she asked he gave her responses that did nothing to actually answer her questions.

Looking back on her history with Jess pulled at her heart in a way that none of her other relationships did. Rory and Jess never had closure –not even the messy kind. They just, ended. He disappeared and reappeared with declarations of love that he never expressed when they were together, but instead blurted out a year after he’d bolted to California, having ended up back in New York, only to get in his car and drive away. Rory didn’t doubt that she was in love with him once. It was very possible that she could be again, eventually.    The pain of being in love with someone who kept leaving, who was never ready –it messed with her. Then, without fail, just as she thought she was moving past it, boom! There he was again. The universe seemed to be adamantly against Rory getting over him. Maybe he felt the same thing, maybe that was the reason he kept showing up. Maybe the reason Rory and Jess never felt finished is because they truly _weren’t_ finished.

“Rory!” Paris screamed. “Snap out of it! This is no time to go all _Girl Interrupted_. It’s past nine o’clock already. You have to get your scrawny ass out the door and over to Logan’s. Come on. There’s a muffin on a plate in the kitchen; eat it before you go, so that the coffee doesn’t burn a hole in your stomach.”

“Right. Coffee. No holes in stomach. Muffin. I’m on it,” Rory said, slowly coming out of her thoughts. Standing up, she winced as she forced her feet back into her high heels and mechanically brought her hand to her hair, running her fingers through it to kill any bird’s nests that might have sprung up while she was sleeping.

“Are you okay? Where did you go just now? What were you thinking about?” Paris asked gently but pointedly as she followed Rory into the kitchen.

“What? Nothing,” Rory shook her head and took a bite of the muffin.

“You need a better sales pitch, Gilmore, because I don’t buy that one bit. You should really work on your poker face.”

Rory knew it was true; her emotions always played all over her face and made it impossible for her to conceal much. She sighed. “Fine. Nothing _that I want to talk about right now_ ,” she emphasized. “Better?”

“I buy that as the truth,” Paris said with a single nod of approval.

“Good. Now, I have to go.”

"Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

Again, Rory let out a sigh. “No. I’ll be fine. This is something I should do alone.” Paris opened her mouth to speak, but Rory quickly cut her off. “I know, I know. If Logan’s there, I will call you. I will happily let you tackle him to the ground with your frightening krav maga skills.”

For the briefest of seconds, Paris’ face twisted in pain at the mention of krav maga, making her think of Doyle. She quickly swallowed the lump in her throat and was once again back to the business at hand. “Good. I’ll enjoy tackling the weasel,” she said with genuine seriousness.

Rory popped the last of the muffin in her mouth and forced her feet to move towards the front door, “If he’s there,” she started.

“I’ll be there within ten minutes. I’ll knock him down, and he’ll stay down. I snuck out while you were still asleep, put a few boxes in your car.” Paris said with a slight smile.

“Thanks, Paris.” Rory smiled weakly in return and hurried out the door before she lost her nerve.

* * *

Rory got there early; she sat in her car until ten fifteen, to be sure that Logan would indeed be gone when she went up to the apartment. After retrieving two empty boxes and an oversized suitcase from her trunk, she slowly made her way into the building, got into the elevator and pushed the button for Logan’s floor.

She turned the key quietly; half afraid of making too much noise even though she knew no one was there to hear. Rory walked inside cautiously, slowly surveying the space. It was strange to think that the morning of the day before, she wholeheartedly thought of this as her home that she shared with the man she loved. Just goes to show how drastically things can change in a day.

As she looked around, it was almost hard to believe that this place could’ve ever felt like home, let alone as recently as yesterday morning. This apartment unmistakably belonged to a rich person; someone who spent money with the same frequency that other people changed their underwear. Everything about it –the grandiose chandeliers, the giant fireplace, the pristine kitchen with top of the line stainless steel appliances, the regulation size pool table, the bedroom with an en suite bathroom that looked like it belonged in a spa, the king sized bed complete with pillars- was so far removed from all of the things Rory identified with, she was mystified as to how she managed to feel, for so long, as though she fit in here –or in Logan’s world at all.

Rory was suddenly more eager to get this over with than when she had first arrived. But before she did anything, she needed to get out of the dress she’d been wearing for over twenty-four hours. She unceremoniously peeled it off of her skin, crumpled it into a ball and threw it into one of the empty boxes. She kicked those cursed high heels off with such force that they almost flew across the room. She quickly shuffled back to the apartment door to lock it. She also moved a small table in front of it, so that if Logan came back, she would hear him trying to get in.

Dashing into the bathroom, Rory threw off her bra and panties and allowed herself a quick shower –a small step in the direction of feeling like a human again. Afterwards, she quickly grabbed fresh undergarments, her most comfortable jeans and a relaxed lightweight shirt and –mercifully- a pair of running shoes. After getting dressed, Rory forced a brush through her long, brown locks and tied it up in a messy bun. Her bangs were dripping in her eyes, and she chastised herself for the day she’d decided to get them cut. She made a mental note to let them grow out and never cut them any shorter than could be tamed by a clip or bobby pin ever again.

Freshly showered and comfortably dressed, she set to work methodically covering every inch of the apartment, locating every last one of her belongings. She never wanted to come back here. If there was anything she happened to forget, she decided that she could live without it.

An hour and a half after she arrived, Rory was stunned to see that everything she owned that was in Logan’s apartment was haphazardly divided amongst two huge boxes and a giant suitcase. She looked up from her belongings to survey the apartment, finding that it looked exactly the way hotel rooms and apartments did in the movies after being ransacked by an ex. The wet towels from her shower were in a soggy bundle on the bathroom floor; the bed was a mess; hangers were strewn about everywhere; dresser drawers were left open. For a fleeting moment, her type-A organizational side was horrified at the mess she made and she legitimately considered cleaning up after herself. Calmly reminding herself of exactly what had happened to necessitate this turn of events, she thought better of it and decided it was Logan’s mess to clean up, not hers.

Rory picked up a box with one arm and tilted the suitcase onto its wheels with her other hand, kicking the other box along with her as she headed back towards the door. Maybe she should have let Paris come with her after all; she hadn’t been thinking far enough ahead to plan out how she was going to get everything down to the car by herself. When she made it to the front door, she set everything down and moved the small table back to its proper place against the wall of the entry way.

Grabbing her purse, Rory dug for the apartment key; when she found it and saw the mailbox key on the same ring, she decided to check Logan’s mailbox to make sure he would have no reason to use mail as an excuse randomly show up. She had only been living here for about seven weeks, since right before she returned to Yale. She couldn’t remember getting more than one or two pieces of mail since she moved here, so it was highly unlikely there would be any mail waiting for her in the box on the wall outside the door. Still, better safe.

Standing in the apartment doorway, keeping the door propped open with one foot, she stepped out into the hallway with the other and reached with one arm to blindly feel for the tiny keyhole on the small iron box outside the door. Holding the top of the box open with one hand, she groped around the inside of the box with the other, wrapping her fingers around the thick stack of mail. Rory stepped back into the apartment and first put the keys on the table, planning to leave them there for Logan to find. This was a swanky building with a doorman and Logan lived on the penthouse floor, no one was going to break in. She turned her attention back to the stack of mail in her hand, thumbing through it quickly.

Rory was scolding herself for taking the extra time to check the mail when she was about to flip to the last piece –clearly there was nothing here for her, why would there be? Without even bothering to look she flipped the thin envelope she was holding to the bottom of the bunch in her hand, finally revealing the thin postcard that had been hiding beneath a dozen other articles of mail.

Rory glanced down for less than two seconds –barely enough time to register the words on the front of the postcard. It couldn’t be. Her overactive mind was playing tricks on her. She quickly did a double take and forced herself to focus. As she stared at the glossy photo, she was sure it was a building she’d never seen before. It looked like a house, a brownstone almost. The Liberty Bell was in the background, blurry and out of focus. In big, block letters, text along the top of the postcard that broke with an ellipsis and continued along the width of the bottom read, “ **YOU ARE INVITED … TO TRUNCHEON PUBLISHING HOUSE** ”.

Upon closer inspection, she saw that some of the text had been crossed out, replaced with a more personal message inserted in place of the non-committal invitation. With a trembling hand, Rory held the postcard closer to her face and saw, above the bottom line, scrawl she would know anywhere, on account of several of her books being littered with the same penmanship. The personal message added just enough to the bland, mass-produced greeting on the card to tug at her heartstrings: “ _Jess Mariano REALLY, TRULY invites you and genuinely wants you to come…_ **TO TRUNCHEON PUBLISHING HOUSE** _… please?_ ”

Rory felt her eyes well up with tears. She delicately tucked the postcard in the front pocket of her suitcase, ensuring it was laying flat and wouldn’t get wrecked. Her hands were trembling; whether it was because she felt terror, relief, or surprise, she wasn’t sure. She was feeling all of those things and more simultaneously. She let her tears fall freely as she exited Logan’s apartment and loaded up her car. But the tears that fell from her eyes now were different from all of the countless tears that she’d cried in the last day or so. These tears were tears of joy. She was still terrified of facing Jess, but she felt the faintest glimmer of hope rising above the terror. So maybe, this terror was a good thing.

Rory sat in her car a long time, letting the emotion wash over her. He wasn’t shutting her out of his life; Jess was inviting her in, creating space for her to meet him halfway. He was reminding her that no matter what they put each other through, at the end of the day, he would never stop caring about her, even if caring abut her was painful sometimes. She hated that caring for each other went hand-in-hand with hurting each other. She didn’t want it to be that way; she wanted things to change. Rory knew that she and Jess would need to have some painful conversations, deal with all of the hurt they caused each other over the years that they always just ran away from rather than dealing with, because running was easier. They had a lot to work through together. For the first time, faint though it may be, Rory had a feeling in her gut that this could work. She and Jess, they could work through everything, find a way to be honest with each other and _finally_ find a way to be happy. It wouldn’t be easy; nothing with them ever was. Nothing worth having ever came easily.

* * *

 Rory drove home in a daze. A happy, terrified and confused daze. When she pulled up, Paris was anxiously waiting for her on the sidewalk in front of the steps up to the apartment building. Rory was instantly glad to see Paris’ anxious form waiting for her –she really had no idea how she was going to make it up to the third floor of their walkup with all of her stuff.  
  
As she parked her car, Rory’s relief at seeing Paris gave way to a slight wave of panic. The instant she opened the car door Paris would be in her face asking an impossible number of questions at rapid-fire speed. The one thing Paris wouldn’t know to ask about was the postcard burning a hole in Rory’s suitcase. Sadly, even though Paris wouldn’t ask, Rory knew her face would betray her. Her face would not say “I found a postcard from Jess in the mailbox at Logan’s when I made a last minute decision to check it before I left; it’s currently burning a hole in the top pocket of my suitcase,” but it would betray enough for Paris to know something was up and she would badger Rory until she cracked. As she tried to steady her breathing and force her face into neutral territory that could withstand Paris’ unique brand of intense questioning, the thought finally occurred to Rory that she actually had no idea how Jess would know to send mail to her at Logan’s address. The concept of snail mail was becoming archaic to begin with –getting anything in the mail that wasn’t a bill or a flyer was rare enough; add to that the fact that Rory had received personal mail, at the home of her (ex) boyfriend from the only ex-boyfriend she never achieved closure with, who had recently reappeared in her life to give her the wakeup call she needed that only he could deliver –everything about it made Rory’s brain hurt.

Once her brain ran through the facts, she quickly deduced that Luke must have told Jess where she was living, which made sense. Her stomach lurched as she pictured Jess addressing the postcard to her at the apartment she shared with Logan –while she was sure Luke and Jess didn’t gab about the situation and dissect it the way she and her mom would, Rory knew that Jess must have been aware that she was living there with Logan. Her face twisted involuntarily, her disappointment and regret at knowing how that must have hurt him briefly playing across her face.

She had been sitting in her dormant car for long enough that Paris was now yelling at her, rapping her hands on the window. Rory snapped out of it and shook her head violently, screwing her eyes tightly shut in an effort to force her face to appear nonchalant. She took a deep breath, let it out slowly and opened the door.

“Boxes. Trunk,” she said to Paris, pointing behind her. The less she talked, the better. Maybe she could even get unpacked and settled before Paris became totally insufferable. Before Paris could be distracted and while she was sufficiently occupied retrieving the boxes from the trunk, Rory darted out of the car and opened the door to the backseat, clutching her suitcase before Paris even had a chance to look at it.


	4. Chapter 4

She had carefully tucked Jess’ book, _The Sub Sect_ , into the same pocket she had hastily put the postcard in before she left. His book was the last thing she packed, taking it from the safety of the drawer in the nightstand on her side of the bed in Logan’s room and tucking it away in the suitcase only once she could be sure of where to put it to avoid damaging or –God forbid- losing it in all the commotion. Between the book and the postcard, Rory was not letting Paris get anywhere close to touching this suitcase, let alone allowing her to help unpack it when they got upstairs. If Paris offered, Rory would simply tell her that the suitcase held things that all belonged in her bedroom and thus, she would do it herself.

Once the girls trudged up the stairs in what could only be called a distinctly ungraceful manner, Rory excused herself to put her suitcase in her bedroom. Once there, she shut the door, sat on the edge of the bed and took a deep breath. As soon as she came in contact with the zipper of the pocket where she’d stashed her mementos of Jess, her hands started to tremble and for the life of her, she couldn’t steady them.  

With much difficulty and butterflies in her stomach with large enough wings to make her feel nauseous, Rory slowly undid the zipper and pulled out Jess’ novel and the postcard he had sent to her. She read his personal message again, which he’d squeezed into the premade greeting on the front of the postcard rather than just writing it on the back, where there was room for personal messages, just like his.

She ran her fingers over the postcard before putting it down. Rory picked up his novel and did the same thing, running her fingers over the simply embossed words on the otherwise blank cover. She delicately traced every letter of Jess’ name. She closed her eyes to recall every detail of their conversation the first night he appeared at her grandparents’. This first portion of his visit she recalled easily and happily. As she rehashed their conversation word for word, she remembered every detail of his face and the warmth in his eyes. An unconscious smile broke out on her face as she replayed the scene in her head.

* * *

 

“So, I didn't just come here to chat. I wanted to show you something,” Jess had said once they snuck inside. After briefly looking around her ‘room’ at her grandparents’ house and noting that she definitely didn’t belong there, he started digging through his messenger bag, looking for something.

“Right. You said that,” Rory said, patiently waiting for him to fill in the blanks.

“Yeah, and I didn't think you'd believe it if I didn't show it to you in person,” he said with a gentle smile.

Rory thought she detected a tiny bit of embarrassment too, which was odd. In this moment, Rory had many more reasons than Jess to be potentially embarrassed –even ashamed.

Jess finally found what he was looking for, a small non-descript short novel with a black cover. He handed it to Rory wordlessly, for some reason hesitant to look her in the eye.

“Well, colour me curious,” Rory said, taking it from him. As she did, her thumb covered his while they made the exchange. Her breath hitched as their hands made contact. It was amazing that after all this time, the simplest of touches from him emitted such a strong stirring inside of her.  “A book. ‘ _The Subsect_ ’...written by Jess Mariano." Rory looked at him with wide eyes. Her face displayed genuine shock and joy; it made Jess want to melt.

“It's no misprint,” Jess said, leaning in slightly closer.

“You wrote a book?”

“A short novel.”

“You wrote a book?!” Rory stared at Jess with astonishment and pride; her eyes were glowing. She burst into a wide smile that her face could barely contain.

Jess was so touched to see all of these emotions play out on her face he had to remind himself to breathe. After allowing himself a few glorious seconds to take in the look on her face and commit it to memory, he spoke, “And through a fluke, I got it to these guys that have a small press, and they read it. I don't know if they were high or something, but they decided to publish it.”

“You wrote a book,” Rory kept repeating, astonished.

“There's no money in it, they only printed like five hundred of them. Believe me, I'm not quitting my day job.” 

“But you wrote it. You wrote a book,” Rory said, beaming. She afraid her heart might burst at the happiness she felt for him.

“Yeah, I know. It's hard to believe,”

“You sat down and wrote a novel.”

“Author-distributed, too. That's what I'm doing here. I'm going around begging independent bookstores to put it in stock. Got it in a few.”

“Cool! Where?”  

“Around,” he said with a small grin.

“I want to see it in a store,” Rory said eagerly.

“I can give you the addresses,” Jess said, his heart melting at her genuine enthusiasm and pride in him. No one had influenced him and encouraged him the way Rory had. To everyone else he was little more than the town screw up. But Rory, she believed in him. Rory cared about Jess more than he ever felt like he deserved.

“You know what I'm gonna do when I see it in the store?” Rory asked excitedly, snapping Jess out of his thoughts.  
   
“What?”

“You know that section toward the front, the staff recommendations? I'm gonna grab a copy of your book and put it in that section, and then I'm going to write my own little recommendation on a card and attach it so people see it and buy it.”  

Jess laughed. He felt such love and towards this woman; his heart was beating so wildly that he thought it might break right through his chest, though his voice betrayed nothing. “Read it first. That way you can discourage people from buying it.”

“No way! I know it's good. Jess, you've got such a great brain. I knew that if you could just sit down and stop shaking it around, you could do something like this. I knew it. I knew it!” Rory locked eyes with him, her bright blue ones searching out his dark brown ones.

As they stared at each other, their silence spoke volumes. The love they felt for each other was still there, and in this moment they were both able to acknowledge it –at least to themselves, if not each other.

“I know you did,” Jess said simply, still holding her gaze. “I work at that press now. Five smelly guys in a cramped room on Locust Street putting out about three books a month. But it's fun.”  

“What about a sequel? Are you writing a sequel?”

Jess chuckled at her eagerness; he missed so many things about her. “You should read it before you get too jazzed about it, okay?”

There was an awkward silence. They both sensed that there was so much more significance to this conversation than what was spoken in their words. This conversation was so much more than it was…     

“It's kind of late. I should go,” Jess said quietly, breaking the silence.  
  
“It is kind of late.”  
  
“So, I just basically wanted to show you that. Uh, tell you... tell you that I couldn't have done it without you,” Jess said honestly. Looking right at her, he hoped she could see the sincerity and gratitude –and love- he felt for her, love that he would always feel, regardless of whatever happened or didn’t happen between them. He hoped his eyes could convey things he didn’t yet have words for.

* * *

Their complex personal history had very little bearing on his choice to invite her to Philadelphia and the personal message he chose to accompany that invitation. If Jess did have ulterior motives, they were secondary to something much simpler and purer. When Jess was here a few months ago Rory knew –despite trying to reason with herself to believe that his visit was more business than personal- that Jess had come to see her to acknowledge the impact she had on his life. From the instant she saw him approaching her in her grandparents’ driveway, Rory was forcefully reminded that this man would always be with her, in some way or another, and she with him. There was no use in denying it.

She smiled her first genuine smile in what felt like years. For the first time, upon rereading his words, she began to feel genuinely relaxed; like maybe –just maybe- everything would be okay. Maybe it wasn’t too late after all. She knew immediately why he’d chosen to do it tis way; he didn’t want her thinking that this was just a matter of niceties, that Rory was just a name on a list who should be invited to an event simply because they had a long –even if somewhat complicated- history. Jess wanted to be sure that Rory understood, beyond any shadow of doubt that he _wanted_ her there.

Flipping the postcard over, Rory searched for a date –Jess was inviting her to Truncheon, so there must be specific date, an event that warranted sending an invitation. Again, she saw Jess’ familiar writing, and even though there was nothing of personal significance to be found, the sight of it made her heart lurch involuntarily. Truncheon was holding an open house in two weeks’ time. Rory swallowed hard. Two weeks –reasonable advance notice for being invited to an event, but not nearly enough time to sort through complicated emotions and be truly prepared to face him and in so doing, begin to face the truth of her feelings towards him. Not enough time at all.

There was small solace to be found in the simple truth that Jess was probably as unprepared as she was, even if he was totally confident that she would show up –which, if she was being totally honest with herself and the shoe were on the other foot, Rory wouldn’t have as much faith in herself as Jess seemed to. He was really trying. He must be scared, terrified even, at the thought of seeing her again. But here he was, extending an invitation –to so much more than a publisher’s open house event.

Rory closed her eyes and inhaled a shaky breath. She bit her lower lip, tapping the postcard against her knee nervously. She could do this. She would do this. She had to do this. She had been convinced that when he walked away a few months ago, her last chance to make things right between them disappeared with him. Yet she was holding in her hand proof otherwise. The universe seemed to be opening a door –possibly the last one- to allow the two of them to figure out how they could fit in each other’s lives.

Rory had let him walk away from her last time and she had been kicking herself ever since; this was her chance to make it right. She would not sit idly by and be too frozen with fear to take advantage of this opportunity that was being handed to her by the universe, even though she was sure she didn’t deserve it. God knows, she and Jess were no strangers to causing each other pain and she was sure she could live through any possible heartache this would cause, especially if this was their last chance; if there was even the slightest chance that this time it _wouldn’t_ end in heartache, she was willing to risk it. And she felt that the chances of this being different were more than slight. Opening her eyes, Rory made a mental note of the date of the open house. She was going to be there; but she had no intention of telling anyone.

When they were younger, Rory and Jess were plagued by the interference of others; there seemed to be a constant stream of complications thrown in their path, whether it was Luke, Lorelai, Dean, Logan, Jess’ past…. it was always something. This time it would be different. Rory intended to keep this to herself until she knew what was going on. This was between Rory and Jess and no one else. It was high time the two of them were able to handle things together with the privacy that their lives never afforded them when they were teenagers.

Letting out a breath she wasn’t even aware she was holding in, Rory tucked the postcard gently between the pages of Jess’ book and hugged it to her chest briefly. She then got up and carefully placed the book underneath the mattress of her bed, where she was sure no one would find it. It was safe there. Private. Hers.

Taking one last deep breath, Rory picked up her suitcase and dumped its contents on her bed. She pulled open the dresser drawers before opening the bedroom door, so that it would appear to Paris like she had spent the last however long sorting through her stuff.

Rory walked into the living room to find that Paris had sorted through the two gigantic boxes that held the rest of her belongings. Books were neatly stacked; shoes were lined up in pairs along the floor; clothing folded and organized into piles.

“What do you want to do with this?” Paris asked, holding up the crumpled dress she’d been wearing yesterday and this morning.

“Burn it,” Rory said casually, bending to pick up her neatly folded clothing and bringing it into the bedroom.


	5. Chapter 5

Two weeks was not enough time, Rory knew. But even still, they flew by faster than she thought possible. She busied herself with school and the paper, but no matter how many things she piled onto her plate as diversions, she did everything on autopilot and her thoughts never strayed far from Jess. 

Intellectually, she knew that what she had to tell him was simple. At the end of the day, Paris had been right: he deserved to know exactly how she ended up back at Yale. Rory also knew –despite trying to reason with herself otherwise- that Jess was truly the only person who could’ve gotten through to her. There was just something about the karmic synchronicity of it all –this was the only way the pieces had any hope of falling into place.

The shoe was suddenly on the other foot –after years of Rory having faith in Jess, being one of the only people to be able to see the best in him- he’d returned the favour in one gallant swoop. He had to have known that countless people were trying to get through to her. Yet he was able to reach her in a way that others could not. That was no fluke. He must have known that too.

All this and more was running through Rory’s head as she worked on her last assignment for the Daily on a foggy Thursday afternoon. She was putting the finishing touches on a piece about the rising price of textbooks –not exactly Pulitzer material- and this was how she kept her brain active. She had been making lists in her head all week of all of the things she knew, both factually and emotionally; at the same time that she was polishing an article on her computer, she was trying to polish a speech in her head. “Things To Make Sure To Say To Jess”, “Before You Start Hyperventilating, Say These Words” –just a few of her working list titles.

Telling Paris the truth of how Rory found her way back to Yale was hard enough, but admitting the truth to Jess? Even just thinking about that moment in the abstract made her feel the need to breathe into a paper bag. And she’d only allowed herself to focus on it in the last week; she’d spent the prior week calming down from actually finding Jess’ postcard, taking it out from under her bed every night, making sure she remembered the date correctly.

Not telling anyone about this was the right thing to do, Rory was positive; but she was not good at keeping such big things to herself. She’d been raised in a boundary free home –with a mother who only played the Parent Card when absolutely necessary- in a town where knowing everyone else’s business was a serious point of pride. No wonder her face was an open book; secrecy was a truly foreign concept to the environment in which she was raised.

Rory wouldn’t even let herself think about the second part of what she knew she’d have to tell Jess –if she thought at all about how to broach the topic of Logan, she was sure there was a very good chance she would become catatonic. No. Start with Yale, which was much less of an emotional minefield. She needed to come out of the gate with the aspect of the truth she knew she could handle. The rest of it she would gage off of his reaction to seeing her, his response to the first part of what she had to say. It would all probably come out in a jumbled mess anyway, so Rory focused on being prepared for the part of what she had to say that she actually had a hope in hell of controlling.

Having a detail oriented personality and thriving under pressure, Rory was no stranger to working with strict deadlines. She knew exactly how much time two weeks was. Two weeks was a luxury, more than she’d had to prepare for most things. Even so, here she was, mechanically typing away on a ridiculously easy piece, knowing that when it was done, she’d be on the highway to Philadelphia and panicking about it. As she watched her word count reach its cap, she was so preoccupied that she wasn’t even angry at Logan for skipping town without a word and leaving no explanation of his absence at the paper, which was how she found herself writing this incredibly mind-numbing piece in the first place. In a very perverse way she was almost thankful; she was the only one in the newsroom and the peace and quiet was almost soothing –however, the racket in her head was so loud it nearly shattered the tranquility of her surroundings.

Chuckling at the absurdity of her train of thought, Rory did one final read through. Satisfied that she could not nit-pick the piece any further, or make it any more interesting even if she could, Rory saved it and uploaded the copy to the server with a sigh. As she was locking up the office at the Daily, the clock on the wall told her it was four-thirty. If she was lucky, traffic on the I-95 wouldn’t be too bad. She’d told Paris that she was going home for the weekend to help Lane with her wedding planning. Lane’s big day was two weeks away, so it was a perfectly conceivable situation, which might have been why she managed to lie convincingly. Saying she would be in Stars Hollow was one of the few ways Rory could be sure Paris would not press the issue, or find out any evidence to the contrary. As much as Paris had grown to love Rory, she still had zero interest in the quirky town her friend called home.

The event at Truncheon wasn’t until the following night, Friday. Rory booked a room at a hotel not far from the publishing house for the weekend. She wasn’t about to wander into Jess’ event after a long drive, when she would surely be exhausted and even less in control of her faculties. Plus, there was a very decent chance she would get at least slightly lost on her way there and she didn’t want to risk being uncomfortably late. She had both Jess’ postcard and book in her purse (the former because it had the address and phone number of Truncheon, the latter because she didn’t want to leave it behind and risk Paris finding it –plus, it gave her something to read while checking off the requirement that she always have a book on hand).

* * *

The drive to Philadelphia was uneventful, which was the way long drives should be. But there was traffic, so Rory was glad that she planned to get there the night before the open house.

The hotel room was standard. Nothing special. This suited Rory just fine; all she cared about was the bed. She’d eaten on the road. Even though it was barely nine o’clock, she was exhausted, both from the drive and the anxiety of what tomorrow would bring. She set her small suitcase on a chair in the corner of the room and opened it to fish out her toiletries and pajamas. Within half an hour of opening the hotel room door, Rory was in bed. After reading a few chapters of _The Sub Sect_ to relax (though this particular book did nothing to calm her nerves at the moment), she turned out her light at ten o’clock, determined to at least try to be well rested for the next day. She fell asleep almost instantly, even though she was sure she wouldn’t. Any hope that a good night’s sleep would have her ready to face everything tomorrow entailed was dashed when she started to dream.

She was transported back to the party that had ended so disastrously, with Jess and Dean throwing punches. But what if it hadn’t gone so wrong? What if Jess hadn’t pushed? What if he’d been honest about what happened at school, and the timing was right…?

_They’d left Kyle’s party after Rory found Jess sitting alone in the dark in a bedroom upstairs. He obviously didn’t want to be there. Hep Alien had already played a few songs, so they went downstairs and Rory told Lane they were leaving._

_They walked in awkward silence. Something was weighing on Jess, Rory could tell, but he wasn’t talking. Rory figured that pressing the issue (whatever it was) when they were walking the quiet streets of Stars Hollow late at night wasn’t a good idea._

_Rory’s house was empty; the Independence Inn was packed to the rafters that night and Lorelai had to stay because they were short-staffed. Even still, Rory and Jess went right to her bedroom and shut the door –habit, from always trying to sneak alone time away from prying eyes._

_Once they were inside, Rory tried to break through Jess’ stoic façade. “Sad boy,” she said, cupping Jess’ face in her hand. Jess leaned into her touch. “You were looking forward to that party, what happened?”_

_“Nothing,” Jess said tersely._

_“Something did. Come on, tell me,”_

_“Sorry, I just got tired of everything back there,”_

_“You’re not tired of me, are you?” Rory asked, pouting slightly._

_Jess answered by kissing her intently; no timidity or gentleness. He pulled her in close and locked his lips to hers, snaking his arm around her back, keeping them pressed together. She responded to him instantly, reaching up to tangle her fingers in his soft dark hair, melting into the kiss and opening her mouth so that their tongues could dance together._

_“That’s a pretty good answer,” Rory said with a smile when they broke apart to breathe._

_But she could see in his eyes that he was waging war with himself. When the kiss ended, Jess didn’t let her go; he kept their hips pinned together, his hand holding strong to the small of her back. They stared at each other for what felt like a long time; Jess was clenching his jaw reflexively and his eyes were dark with turmoil. He leaned in to press his forehead against hers and let out a ragged sigh._

_“Hey,” Rory said softly. “What’s really going on Jess? You can tell me,”_

_Jess released her, but held tight to one of her arms. Walking around and sitting on the end of her bed, he pulled Rory around with him so that when he was seated, she was standing between his knees. He ran a hand through his hair nervously. Without looking at her, he said, “I messed up, Ror. Badly,”_

_“What happened?” Rory asked, squatting down to look into his eyes. She steadied herself by keeping both hands flat on his thighs. Jess looked up at her and stared for a long time, as if the answers were hidden in her face and he had to find them before he continued._

_Rory knew she had to give him time; he was battling with himself, trying to decide how to continue. She knew better than to break the silence, no matter how long it stretched; she held his gaze with her bright blue eyes, hoping that their lightness could break through the storm raging in his dark face. With one hand, she reached up and ran her fingers through his hair lovingly. Once again, he leaned into her touch._

_“I’m not graduating,” he said finally._

_Rory froze. She dropped her hand from his hair and returned it to rest on his thigh, leaning back slightly. She was careful not to break their physical contact; if she retreated, he would shut down. Remaining rooted between his knees, she managed to form muddled questions out of her confusion. “What? How? How did this happen? You’re smarter than everyone at Stars Hollow High.”_

_“Classes. I didn’t go,” Jess said flatly._

_“Jess,” Rory said, a lump rising in her throat._

_“Whatever. I’m the town screw up right? No one expects me to do anything except maybe end up in jail one day. Hell, that’s why my mom sent me to this stupid town!” Jess was yelling now, “She couldn’t ‘handle’ me, so she shipped me off, all too happy to make me someone else’s problem. At least this way I’m living up to everyone’s expectations. Jess Mariano, resident town fuck up, at your service!” he said with an angry smirk._

_“Jess, look at me,” Rory implored. When Jess met her eyes, his look was so fierce it could have shot daggers. Unafraid of his anger, she pressed her hands forcefully into his thighs, so she could be sure he felt her there, grounding him. “You are not a screw up. You are brilliant and capable. Life has dealt you a shitty hand. I’m sorry that the world has done nothing but force you to believe that you’re a problem, that you don’t deserve anything better than a life of drifting. I’m sorry that no one ever believed in you. But I do. I do.”_

_"Why?” Jess asked suddenly, with a biting edge to his tone._

_"Why what?”_

_“Why do you believe in me? I’m nothing!” he spat._

_“Hey!” Rory flinched at his words. “Stop it! I know you! That’s why,” she said, angry tears escaping from her eyes. “I. Know. You. You steal my books and leave me notes in the margins; you do magic tricks to cheer me up; you clean rain gutters without needing to be asked; you unlock the diner so that people can hold wakes; you fix rogue sprinklers and then unfix them so that boyfriends can have their turn in the sun,” Rory took a deep breath to calm herself. She saw Jess’ face soften slightly and she continued quietly, carefully, “You’re everything Jess, you just don’t know it. You screwed up, yes. Failing to go to any of your classes was a bad decision, but it’s not irreparable. If you hate school that much then get your GED, do it differently. But you can fix it, Jess. I’ll help you; it’ll be okay. You are not nothing.” Rory paused again and waited for him to look at her. When she spoke again she spoke slowly, to emphasize the emotion behind her words so that Jess knew they were true. “You are everything. Do you hear me?” Rory had to stop to let out a small, strangled sob._

_Jess looked down at her and shook his head absentmindedly, in disbelief. He did not deserve this girl, he was sure. He wasn’t used to people caring about him at all, let alone to have a beautiful girl sobbing at his feet, pouring her heart out trying to convince him he wasn’t a failure. He was overwhelmed and he couldn’t stand to see her cry –he couldn’t stand knowing he was the reason for her desperate sobs. Jess covered both of her hands with his own and slowly slid them up her arms; when he reached her shoulders, he moved his hands down to grip her firmly under her arms and pulled her up, guiding her to sit on his lap._

_Gently, he held her face in both his hands, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and let her head fall into the crook of his neck as he twisted her long brown hair softly between his fingers, inhaling deeply the floral scent of her shampoo. He rested his chin delicately on her head. “Where did you come from? What did I ever do to deserve someone so good?” Jess whispered quietly, more to himself than as an actual question to Rory._

_Rory shifted in his lap and Jess felt himself stir. She looked up at him and opened her mouth to say something, but before she could utter a word Jess caught her mouth in a passionate kiss. Sometimes, all the words in the world are not enough. At this moment, Jess kissed her with such emotion as to convey everything he wouldn’t have been able to verbalize if he tried._

_Soon, the intensity of the kiss had them both gasping for air, each of them panting for breath every time they opened their mouths to lick, suck and explore. By the time their lips released each other, their breaths were shallow and ragged. Jess pressed his forehead to Rory’s, holding her face with both his hands as their breathing finally slowed. The heat and desperation of their kisses was very different from any other steamy make-outs they’d had in the past._

_Jess was holding in his lap the one girl he wanted more than he’d ever wanted anyone and if they continued at this rate, he wouldn’t have the restraint to stop. He needed something from her before he dared continue. He was not going to push her. Still holding her face gently in his hands, Jess waited patiently until she opened her eyes; when he finally saw those beautiful blue pools look at him he held them captive until Rory understood what he was silently asking._

_Rory’s eyes were wide and sure; slowly, she nodded. When Jess dipped his head slightly and raised his eyebrows –looking for confirmation- she bit her lip and nodded again, bringing her hand up between them. Running a finger delicately against the furrow in his brow, she wanted to erase any uncertainty, any struggle that existed within those harsh lines. Finally, she saw his beautiful brown eyes relax, along with the rest of his face and she smiled, kissing him gently._

_Emboldened, Jess deepened their kiss and slid one hand from Rory’s face to her back, dropping his other arm to hitch under her knees. He stood slowly, holding her tightly and lifting her surely; without breaking their kiss he turned on the spot and lowered her onto the bed, remaining pressed against her…_

Rory woke up breathless. She smiled unconsciously at the feeling of a pleasant warmth and wetness spreading through her. As the dream slipped away, she was mildly shocked. Did she just have… a wet dream? She’d woken up before it had even become graphic; she was just as shocked by waking up to find herself slick and wet at the image of merely kissing Jess on a bed as she was by the actual dream itself.

She instantly committed the conversation of her dream to memory, before she forgot it. Rory never wanted to forget the gift that her unconscious mind had given her about everything that night could have been.

Bittersweet sadness followed as she remembered what actually happened the night of the party. She wished that the conversation they’d had in her dream was how she had actually found out about what happened with Jess at school; Rory wished he had told her. Her sorrow almost chocked her when she recalled how Jess had left a few days later; when she stepped off the bus that morning she had no idea he had his duffel stuffed under the seat and she would not see him again for nearly a year.

As much as she wished that what she had dreamt could have actually happened, she knew that if it had and he still left, it would have paralyzed her.

Rory always had a nagging regret that Jess was not her first –that they never got to be together at all- but she knew that given the way things transpired, it was better this way. A stray tear escaped her eye and slid sideways down her face into her ear.

She was jolted back to reality by the obnoxious sound of the alarm clock, which she silenced with a violent whack. Rory took a deep breath and forced herself out of bed to take a shower. She hoped it would help her relax, but knew in her gut it was a useless thing to wish for.

Everything about this day was going to be much harder than she thought.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so no one's confused, April is not a thing in this story (as in, that mess never happened).

After a long warm shower that did absolutely nothing to relax her, Rory dressed in a grey blazer with slightly puffed sleeves at the shoulder; it was one of her favourites –classy, understated yet feminine. She wore a simple cream coloured camisole underneath with lace detailing around the neckline. She dressed the look down with one of her favourite pairs of black jeans and running shoes that matched the grey in her blazer.

Suddenly deflated at realizing she had an entire day to kill before the Truncheon event started at seven in the evening, Rory decided she would go out and explore Philadelphia a bit. Truncheon was located in a funky area not too far from downtown so she would be able to get a feel for both the touristy parts of the city while still being able to (hopefully) discover some cool places that only locals might know about –and she could do it all without straying far from the publishing house, so she didn’t need to be overly worried about getting lost. Exploring a little bit of the city would be a good way to kill two birds with one stone –making the most of her time in a city she’d never visited before while keeping herself from going insane by obsessing over seeing Jess tonight after months of waiting, fearing this chance might never have come. Since going back to Yale and breaking up with Logan, finally understanding that all roads let back to Jess, Rory had newfound respect for a few old adages. _“The anticipation is killing me,_ ” and “ _You’ll find what you need as soon as you stop looking, often in the last place you ever expected it to be,_ ” were taking turns singing a loud chorus in her head.

Spending the day doing lighthearted touristy things was definitely the right course of action; it was the only way to be sure that the anxiety and anticipation of tonight didn’t cause her to spontaneously combust. Her dream from the night before did nothing to help matters. Rory blushed at the mere thought of it as she grabbed her purse and headed out of her hotel room.

The lighthearted touristy thing didn’t take. Instead of walking around like she planned, Rory took her car. First, she drove by Truncheon so she could be sure she knew where it was and then she drove herself to the Liberty Bell and quickly shrouded herself among countless tourists. She did the same upon finding the iconic steps from the Rocky Balboa movies. The idea of running into Jess before tonight was too much to handle.     

Eventually, Rory found her way to the opposite end of the neighbourhood and wandered into a used bookstore where she found a vintage copy of _A Farewell to Arms_. It figured, that this is what she would find. Here. Today. She delicately leafed through the pages, thinking back to the picnic basket, “ _You know Ernest only has lovely things to say about you,_ ”

Sighing, Rory officially surrendered –to Jess’ reappearance in her life, to the reality of Logan’s true nature, to being here in Philadelphia and to whatever happened tonight. The only thing she cared about was being honest with Jess. About all of it, regardless of how it came out of her mouth. She bought that copy of _A Farewell to Arms_. It was barely noon. Finding a trendy local coffee shop near by, Rory hunkered down with Ernest.

Before she knew it, it was nearly six-thirty. Well, give Ernest his due, he certainly allowed her to lose herself for a while, forgetting everything she’d been so anxious about. Before leaving the coffee shop she bought a Panini, knowing that by the time she went back to the hotel to freshen up, time for dinner would be out of the question. The Truncheon open house started at seven and Rory wanted to be there by around seven forty-five –certainly not an early bird, but not inconsiderably late.

When she got back to the hotel, she put on the same minimal makeup as always –her standard five-minute face of foundation, blush and a touch of mascara and lip-gloss. Her bangs were at annoying in-between length –too long to leave untouched, but too short to even tuck them behind her ears- so she blew her hair out and left it down, securing them away from her face with a simple bobby pin. Wanting to look nice without going overboard, Rory believed she achieved her goal as she surveyed herself in the mirror.

Truncheon was only a ten-minute walk from her hotel. The weather on this particular Friday was brisk, but pleasant. Rory hoped the walk might calm her nerves, but it did nothing of the kind. Within seconds of stepping outside she was sweating, despite the chill in the air. As she rounded the corner onto Locust Street, her feet suddenly felt like they were weighed down with lead. She slowed to a crawl and as she reached the brownstone pictured on the postcard. She took a deep breath before ascending the stairs and another before turning the antique doorknob. “Here we go,…” she whispered to herself.

“So my eyes don't deceive me,” Jess said from another room.

Instinctively, Rory looked around anxiously. Had he been watching for her? After taking the briefest of seconds to recover, Rory saw that she entered the house next to a grand staircase; directly to her right was a wide, arched doorway –where she’d heard Jess’ voice come from. She shrank back towards the staircase, but gave herself a wide berth to try and catch a glimpse of who Jess was talking to. She couldn’t see, but instantly felt herself smile as she recognized the voice behind the gruff response.

“First thing's first. What the hell is that?” Luke asked bluntly.

Rory couldn’t see what he was pointing at but figured whatever it was, it was at least the tiniest bit outside the box. She smiled wider, thankful for this slice of familiarity in the midst of all her anxiety. She settled into the corner where she stood, content to be a fly on the wall and listen to them banter, as only Luke and Jess could.

“It's an abstract painting,” Jess said simply.

“But what is it supposed to be?” Luke asked, incomprehension growing more frustrating by the second.

“Check the title.”

“I did. It's called ‘untitled’.”

“There you go,” Jess said, offering no other explanation

“I give up,” Luke said. Rory pictured him saying this with a huff and a hands-up, _You got me!_ gesture.

There was a beat of silence. “So you got the invite,” Jess said, changing tacks. Rory was sure she could hear him smile.

“I got the invite,” Luke confirmed, likely with a smile of his own.

“I guess I didn't think you'd come,” Jess said honestly.

“You guessed wrong, nephew.”  

“Cool. So you want the tour?” 

“Give me a tour.”

Rory heard them walking in her direction, so she quickly ducked around the corner so that Jess wouldn’t see her. She knew he would see her in a few seconds anyway –she wasn’t about to run around an entire house to give him the slip. Not ready to give up being a fly on the wall quite yet, she needed just a few more seconds to get her wits about her.

“Alright, well, this is where we work. Truncheon books. There's usually desks and crap piled up everywhere, but we cleaned up for today,” Jess said, walking towards the staircase. Rory was glad for the split second relocation. She heard Jess’ voice change direction slightly. “Those are the books that we put out. We publish our 'zine once a month, except last August, when my partner forgot to pay the printer. We let local artists hang their stuff up without ripping them off on commissions. We do performances over there, and a few of us live upstairs; that you don't want to see. It's a disaster zone.” 

“That’s yours, right?” Luke asked after another half beat of silence.

“Yeah,” Jess confirmed.

“I wanted to get it, but I couldn't find it,” Luke said. He must have been referring to _The Sub Sect_.

Jess shrugged it off. “Yeah, it's not exactly _The Da Vinci Code_.”  

“Well, I will definitely get it today,” Luke said proudly. “Alright listen, I’m gonna wander a bit. See if you’ve got anything else here that I don’t understand –which is probably all of it. If I haven’t found you again after half an hour, please rescue me from whatever, or whoever has me trapped.”

“Sure thing. I’m perspective guy, if you need it. Start over there,” Rory could see Jess clearly, pointing Luke in the other direction. Once Jess turned even thirty degrees, he would see her. He still had a friendly hand on Luke’s shoulder as he inched closer. “There are some sculptures that way you’ll really hate,” Jess said with a wink. He steered Luke away from where Rory was standing, turning his back on the corner she was hiding in.

In the five seconds that Jess’ back was turned, Rory clenched her fists, took a deep breath and stepped out from the doorway, making sure she would be right in his field of view when he turned around.

When Jess turned around, the sight of Rory standing in front of him was enough to make him stumble back half a step. He blinked hard and looked her up and down, as if to make sure she was actually there. Slowly his mouth curled into a crooked grin that –although small- reached all the way to his eyes, brown and warm.

“Well isn’t this the day of surprises,” he said quietly, his stoic, non-committal exterior cracking just a little. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed gratefully. He was relieved that she’d come, in denial about how disappointed he’d be if she hadn’t. Jess knew he should probably say something else, but he couldn’t find the words.

Rory detected the crack in his armour. She picked up on how he shifted quickly from shock to gratitude; she saw him relax at the sight of her and her heart couldn’t help but flutter. While Jess was taking in the sight of her, she took the opportunity to do the same. He looked good. He was wearing a black suit jacket with a black and white graphic tee underneath, displaying a woman’s face. Definitely grown up, but unmistakably Jess, with black jeans and Converse runners. She returned his grin with one of her own, though it took all the restraint she possessed not to leap into his arms and hug him to her tightly. She felt her eyes well up slightly. _Not yet,_ she thought to herself.

Rory swallowed her emotion and broke their silence, “I didn't RSVP. Sorry,” she said, hoping to sound casual.

Jess was grateful that she took a light, conversational tack. He knew things would likely get complicated before too long, but in this moment he was glad for the simplicity. “Ah, this isn't an RSVP type thing. Showing up's cool.”  

“Good thing,” Rory said, relaxing into the conversation. “So this is Truncheon Books?”  

“Yeah. This is Truncheon.”  

“I like it. It makes me feel like I instantly want to create something. Give me a pen. Give me a brush… Luke!” she said, feigning genuine surprise when she saw Luke.

“Yeah, there's a definite ‘Jess Mariano, this is your life’ vibe here today,” Jess said with a smirk. “Hey, Luke.”

Having wandered back over to Jess, Luke pointed to a sculpture in the corner. “Bicycle?”  

“No,” Jess said with a chuckle.

Luke registered Rory standing in front of him. “Rory! Hi! What are you doing here?”             
  
“Same thing you’re doing here,” Rory said with a smile.  
             
Luke greeted Rory with an awkward but genuine hug and turned to Jess, “I was gonna take off, actually.”  

“Uh, I gotta get something,” Jess said. “Don't leave till I get back. I’ll just be a minute.”  
             
“Okay,” Luke said. When Jess left the room, he turned back to Rory. “I didn’t know he invited you too. But it’s good to see you here. Good that you came. This is really something huh?”

“Yeah, it really is. It’s great,” Rory said genuinely.  
             
“So how’s Yale?” Luke asked. “You getting all caught up? Thriving in all the business?”

“Yeah, actually I am. After spending so long…” Rory trailed off and suddenly changed direction. “It’s really nice to be busy again. The paper’s going well and I’m almost caught up in all my classes.”

“Almost caught up in half the time you were away huh? I’d expect nothing less,” Luke said with a smile. “I hear you were promoted to editor too, at the Yale Daily News. Congratulations, that’s wonderful. We’re all very proud of you, Rory.”

Luke was talking about more than her promotion at the paper, and Rory knew it. “Thanks, Luke.”

Jess returned and gestured to Luke from a few feet away. “Hey,” he said quietly. “Come here,” When Luke closed the distance between them, Jess handed him a copy of his book. “Here.”

“Oh. Let me, let me buy this. That way, you would get the money,” Luke said.  
             
Jess waved his hand dismissively. “Nah, it's okay.”  =

“What's this?” Luke asked when he saw the small piece of paper peeking out of the top of the book’s cover.  
             
“It's what's owed,” Jess stated.  
             
“You owe me nothing,” Luke said slowly and sincerely.

Jess held his gaze. “I owe you,” he said slowly. “Take it. If you rip it up, I'm just gonna send another.”           

Luke relented and gave his nephew a warm smile. “I'm very proud of you, of this, of what you're going for here. I don't get all of it, but I'm me.” 

“Thanks,” Jess said, allowing the one word to refer to so much more than this particular moment.

The two men hugged each other warmly. Luke reached up and held the back of his nephew’s neck in a way that was both loving and manly. “Good luck with this. Congratulations.”

Still standing at arm’s length, Jess smiled at his uncle. “Okay,” he said with a nod. “Thanks.”

Luke waved to Rory as he left, “See you soon,” he said as he walked out the door.

Jess turned to Rory as soon as Luke left, still somewhat mystified that she was there. He was relieved that she didn’t disappear with Luke, some kind of Stars Hollow themed hallucination. But, there she stood. She awkwardly stuck her hands in the back pockets of her jeans, wondering what to do, what would happen next. Looking at Jess, she smiled.

Jess couldn’t help but see what a beautiful woman she’d become. She still had those mannerisms and quirks he’d loved when they were younger, but she was not a girl anymore. He was genuinely moved by her presence and so overjoyed that she’d found her way back from the confused directionless Rory he’d seen just over two months before. Jess returned her smile. “So you here alone?”  

Rory was slightly surprised at his question. “Yeah, definitely. All alone… ” she said. Suddenly realizing that she was reading more into his simple question than he meant, she tried to recover. “I mean… yes. Yes I’m here alone.”     
  
Jess was relieved at her answer. He gave a slight chuckle; she still had a way of speaking too fast for her brain to have any luck with censoring her words when she was nervous. He loved that. “Cool… Come on,” he said, leading the way into the hub of activity, waiting for her to match his stride.

Rory let out a sigh and felt herself relax. She fell into step with Jess instantly.


	7. Chapter 7

“All I'm saying is, control your poet,” Chris said to Matthew.

Jess was standing huddled around the staircase with his two partners after the open house, discussing the event. Everyone was gone, but Rory was lingering around quietly so as not to disturb their conversation.   

“So suddenly he's my poet,” Matthew said with a huff.

“He changed up on us,” Jess said constructively. “He wasn't supposed to premiere new material tonight.”    
              
“It wasn't bad…” Matthew offered haltingly.  
              
“It was rambling.” Chris said.  
              
“It was a little rambling,” Matthew conceded.  
              
“And what was that whole part about desiring Golda Meir?” Chris asked.

“Please tell me that was symbolic,” Jess pleaded.  
     
Matthew caved, “I'll talk to my poet.”    
              
“Hey, we're hitting that bar that we're not going to call ‘Cedar Bar Redux,’” Chris said to Jess. “You coming?”  

“Yeah, maybe,” Jess spotted Rory curled up on a plushy ottoman in the main room. “You know, go on ahead. I'll catch up.” Jess took a deep breath before slowly making his way over to her. _Here we go…_ he thought.

As he sat down next to her, he saw the book she was so engrossed in was his own. He laughed. “You know, you don't have to read it again.”    
              
“I know I don’t,” Rory said, setting the book face down and open to hold her page.  
              
“God, there are so many things I would change in it.”  
              
“Like what?” Rory asked with a smile.  
              
“I'd keep the back cover. Everything else goes,” Jess said, sweeping a hand emphatically across himself as if he were swatting away a bee.  
              
“You know why I love your book?” Rory asked, loving the ease with which they fell right back into a rhythm.

“Why?”    
              
“It doesn't remind me of anything. It's not a rip-off. It's just … you.”    
              
“High praise, miss Yale editor,” Jess said with a smile, gently nudging her knee with his hand. He resisted the urge to let his hand rest there and reluctantly brought it back to his own lap.

“Yeah, well, I don't get to write as much as I would like, it’s mostly assigning and motivating, handholding, and rewriting,”  
              
“Yeah, and you love it, every minute of it. Come on, tell me you don’t,” Jess said, leaning in closer.   
              
“I do. I do love it. It's exciting,” Rory said. Her heart started beating faster as Jess leaned closer to her; she could feel the warmth radiating from his skin.   
              
“Yeah, you look happier than when I saw you last,”   
              
“I am,”    
              
“So… you fixed everything?” Jess asked, choosing his words carefully and holding his breath as he waited for her answer.  
              
“Yeah,” Rory said slowly, ducking her head slightly as she felt her cheeks grow hot. “Everything's fixed.”   
              
Jess inhaled a shaky breath and turned himself to face Rory squarely. Slowly and gently, he put his hand back on her knee. “I'm glad you're here.”    
              
“Yeah, me too,” Rory said quietly. Her skin felt like it was on fire where he touched her. 

Jess leaned in until their foreheads met and their noses rubbed together gently. It pained him, how slowly he was inching forward. He did this on purpose, to give her time to process or even pull back before their lips made contact. Closing his eyes, he gradually jutted his chin forward and opened his mouth slightly, allowing his lips to search for Rory’s. When he finally found them, he brushed up against them softly, asking permission.

Rory seemed to startle at the contact, but she didn’t pull away. Once Jess’ lips nipped at hers once, teasingly, she wanted more. The same fire she felt when he touched her leg was steadily spreading everywhere. She’d almost forgotten how good he tasted, a sweet mix of cigarettes and mint.

Rory relaxed and let Jess kiss her again, deeper. They opened their mouths together, relishing in the sound of their breath and the delectable puckering that came as their tongues met and their lips battled for dominance. Rory caught Jess’ bottom lip between both of hers and sucked gently. Jess groaned in pleasure and brought a hand up to tangle in her long brown hair.

Upon feeling his hand cradle her head, Rory froze. She stilled her mouth and opened her eyes wide. _No, not like this,_ she thought frantically. _You have to say what you came here to say while you still can; he needs to know the truth. He deserves it. You have to do it now before you lose all ability to think and speak rationally_.

Jess instantly registered the change in her and reluctantly pulled back. He refused to relinquish his hand from her hair, afraid that if he didn’t hold on to her, she would disappear. “What… ?” he asked, unable to hide the wonton desperation in his voice.

“I just…” Rory stammered. Seeing Jess look at her so desperately made it impossible for her to find her words. “I’m sorry,” she choked out in response to the confusion in his eyes.

“About what?” Jess asked, becoming more frantic as his emotions raged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he desperately searched Rory’s eyes. When she made no attempt to speak, he dropped his hand from her head lifelessly.

Rory saw him staring at her, frenzied and confused. She’d pulled away because she needed to get the truth out before she melted and lost herself in Jess completely and yet, now that there was distance between them, she seemed to lose her ability to speak. Rory could feel her window of opportunity closing. She knew that it would be slammed shut in just a few more seconds, possibly never to be opened again. Her eyes couldn’t focus; they darted wildly from side to side and she felt her throat close up, the blood draining out of her face.

Every second she waited, she saw Jess’ face change from shock and concern, to confusion, until finally anger settled into the deep lines on his face. His beautiful crooked mouth, which was just a moment ago so eagerly tasting and claiming her was now set in a stone cold scowl. His warm brown eyes were now dark and hollow. He flinched and strained away from her as though he was disgusted.

Rory was just about to gather her wits and finally speak when Jess shattered the strained silence between them. “I thought you said everything was fixed,” he said slowly, rocking back and forth slightly. “I hate this!” he spat, standing up violently. “You came here. Alone. To Philadelphia! Why would you do that? Are you still with that guy –that dick with the Porsche? What, did you… did you just tell him about all the ways I hurt you, all the times I walked away from you and decide this was your chance to get even? I know you were living with him. Do you know how much it killed me to send an invitation to you _there_? I almost didn’t think you’d come. But you did, Rory. You came here. Alone, to Philadelphia. You said everything was fixed, but really, you meant what? Everything but him I guess, huh? What did you come here for, Rory? Some twisted game of tit-for-tat? I don’t fucking deserve this, Rory.”

Rory was horrified. How did this go so wrong, so quickly? She and Jess had hurt each other on a regular basis, but the look on his face now was one she’d never seen before. He didn’t look hurt. He looked wounded –deeply, irreparably wounded. Tears were streaming down her face. “Jess, no,” she sobbed.

Jess sucked his teeth and winced. “Save it,” he said coldly. He turned his back on her, running a hand through his hair violently and clenching his fist. In a few long strides, he was nearly five feet away from her, headed for the door. “You should go. I mean it. Get out!” He barked, wrenching the door open forcefully.

Slowly, Rory’s desperation turned to resolve. He was kicking her out. If she didn’t say her piece now she’d never get the chance. Right around the time Jess had accused her of trying to get even for all the times he’d walked away from her, Rory’s brain clicked –she was not leaving until she told him the truth. _You’ll know you did everything you could. That you made sure he understood._ Paris’ words were screaming in her head as she remained firmly planted on the ottoman. Right when it looked like Jess was going to storm back over to throw her out, she finally found her voice.

“Everything is fixed, Jess!” Rory screamed. “You snapped me out of it. I fixed everything, because of you! A week after you came to New Haven, I started back up at Yale. You got through to me. You weren’t telling me anything I hadn’t already heard from everyone, but I never cared to hear a word of it until it came from you. You were the only one who could have ever gotten through to me. Don’t tell me you don’t know that. You came to New Haven to snap me out of it, because you believed, you knew that I would hear you. If it wasn’t for you, I’d still be planning DAR tea parties, living with Logan, wasting my life!” Rory stopped to let out the sob that was strangling her.

Through her tears she saw Jess’ face change. He had softened slightly, clearly trying to digest everything she’d just said. But he was still fuming. Rory continued before she lost her nerve and her violent tears robbed her of whatever strength she had left. “I broke up with Logan, Jess. The bastard cheated on me with an entire fucking bridal party. I found out two weeks ago and I broke up with him. I was at his apartment packing my stuff and that’s when I found your invitation.

“I didn’t tell anyone I was coming here because I wanted to come here and tell you the truth and I didn’t want anyone putting in their ‘two cents’ about it. I didn’t want anyone to try and convince me not to come; I knew you deserved to know the truth, but this was between you and me. So no one knows I’m here.

“It’s because of you Jess. You’re the only reason I found my way back to my life. I am happier than when you saw me last, you’re right about that. Because of you.”

Rory finally stopped and tried to catch her breath. Jess was still standing by the door. Rory couldn’t see how wide his eyes had become and how he was holding onto that door for dear life –he was so stunned by everything she had said he was sure if he let go, he would fall right over. Suddenly, Jess felt the warm sting of tears coming to his eyes but he blinked them back and swallowed hard before they had a chance to escape.

“Anyway,” Rory said tersely, “that’s why I stopped kissing you. I wanted to make sure I told you everything before I lost myself in how good it felt…. to be kissing you.” Her bottom lip was quivering so forcefully that she had to cover her mouth with her hand while she inhaled as sharply as her runny nose would allow. When Rory took her hand away from her mouth, she was trembling. Her strength was rapidly disappearing, along with any hope she had of being able to hold onto the man standing frozen at the door. She had to find the strength to say goodbye before she left him for the last time.           

When she spoke again, her voice was small, resigned. “I’m so sorry Jess. For everything. You have no idea how truly sorry I am, for everything I’ve done to hurt you. I didn’t come here to get even. I came here to thank you, for breathing life back into me. I was so lost; everything was so messed up. You are the only one who could’ve ever reached me and saved me from the abyss that I was falling into and you did. You did that. And I’m so grateful.

“And I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished. Really I am. You have no idea how proud I am, how happy I am for you. I always believed you were destined for great things Jess, even when no one else did. Even you. People were always questioning me –questioning what I saw in you that seemed to elude everyone else. I could never really explain it or justify it, but I knew. I always knew,” Rory sighed sadly. “I guess that’s it then. I’ve told you what I came here to say. I’ll go now.”

There was no point in Rory trying to maintain her decorum. Any hope she had of leaving here with her dignity intact disappeared when it took her too long to speak and Jess started yelling at her. She couldn’t fault him for it, because everything he’d said was painfully true. She let her tears fall freely as she looked around frantically for her purse, not even bothering to wipe them away, instead letting them dry in crusty, salty streaks down her face. She was sure she looked like hell, but she was past caring. Her cries became louder when she couldn’t seem to find her purse, remaining rooted in her seat first by unshakable resolve but now by shame. She wished the ground would just open up right there and swallow her whole.

Suddenly, a flurry of movement –the door shutting, followed by rapid footsteps coming to a sudden halt right in front of her. Even though she made no effort to straighten out her shrunken and defeated posture, Rory saw Jess crouched in front of her, the look on his face a mix of bewilderment, fear, sadness and –unbelievably- love. Jess silently propped her chin up with one finger, forcing her to look him in the eye. After holding her gaze for several seconds, Jess let out a sigh of relief, and held her face surely between his hands. “Shhh, it’s okay Rory. It’s okay,” he said quietly, placing a soft kiss on her forehead and wiping away her tears.

Rory was overcome by this sudden gesture of tenderness. Instead of leaving broken hearted, she suddenly found Jess swooped down at her feet, desperately trying to comfort her. The unexpected turnaround of events was enough for her to cry a whole new round of tears. Jess responded by pulling her closer to him, holding her fiercely, as if to protect her from the sobs that shook through her. Rory’s head fell onto Jess’ shoulder; he held the back of her head lovingly and ran his other hand up and down her back trying to soothe her. When Jess pulled her closer to him, Rory almost fell off the edge of the ottoman. He kept his arms tightly around her, “It’s okay, Ror. It’s okay. I promise. Shhh baby, come on. It’s okay,” he whispered in her ear. Slowly, Jess pulled her forward and picked her up gently, sitting down and cradling her in his lap. He held her face against his chest and ran his fingers through her hair delicately, moving the long damp strands off her skin.

“I’m so sorry,” she kept muttering through her tears.  
              
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Ror. Nothing. Do you hear me? Come on, stop crying, please. Everything’s okay, I promise.”

“All I do is hurt you, and I’m so sorry Jess. I don’t want to hurt you. You’re right, you don’t deserve it. I’m so sorry.”

“I told you, you have nothing to be sorry for. I have a lot of things to be sorry for, but not you.”

“I’m exhausted Jess. I’m terrified of losing you for good. If I ever lost you I don’t know what I’d do…” Rory trailed off.

“You won’t lose me Rory, you can’t. Not ever.” Jess cupped her face in both his hands again and adjusted her slightly so that he could look into her eyes. “You’re not going to lose me. Ever.”

“We’re always running away from each other Jess, and I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to run away. I’m tired of staying away from you, I don’t want to do it anymore,” Rory said, hoping Jess understood the full extent of what she was saying.

“Then stop running Ror. We can both stop running. I am tired of staying away from you too; I don’t want to do it anymore either. I promise, no more running, no more leaving. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” Jess stopped speaking and showered her hair with soft kisses. He took at deep breath and tried to steady his voice, which was shaking with emotion. A single, small tear escaped one of his eyes and he blinked it away. He took a deep breath and adjusted her face, so that he could look into her eyes once more. “I know what I want because I’m holding it in my arms right now.” Jess knew the enormity of what had just happened. They’d just made declarations to one another.

Jess sat there, holding Rory in his lap for a long time. Once her tears subsided he kissed her lips gently, over and over. When he wasn’t kissing her, their faces stayed less than a millimetre apart –not touching, but close enough to feel the heat of each other’s skin. He had told her the truth, he was done running from her and he really wasn’t going anywhere. Jess would be happy to hold Rory in his arms just like this, for the rest of his life.

When Rory finally calmed, she was as limp and weak as a rag-doll. “Jess,” she started in a quiet whisper.

Jess cut her off, “Shh. I know. We have a lot to talk about, but we can do it later, okay?”  
              
Rory nodded weakly against his skin where her head rested under his chin.

“Did you drive?” Jess asked, knowing he couldn’t hold her here forever. Eventually they’d have to move.

“No, I walked. I have a hotel room … a few blocks from here,” Rory said haltingly, quietly.

“Do you need anything from there for the night?”

At this, Rory perked up slightly and looked at him, her blue eyes puffy and wide with surprise. “What?”

Jess chuckled, and gently pressed his thumbs against the swollen bags under her eyes. He placed a soft peck on her nose. “You are in no state to be leaving here, Gilmore. You can barely hold your head up. I’m asking if you need anything because you’re going to stay here tonight. I will be a gentlemen and take the floor,” he paused, a grin pulling at the corners of his lips. “You’re a smart woman –do you really think I’m going to let you go that easily? Now that you’re here, in my arms, you’re crazy if you think I’m letting you go. And we can’t sit here all night, because eventually the other guys are gonna come back. So I’m going to bring you upstairs to my apartment and give you some water so that you can rehydrate and if you need anything from your hotel room, I’m gonna run out and get it while you wash your face and rest. And then, I’m going to come right back and stay with you.”

“Okay,”

“What do you need?”

“Pajamas, a change of clothes, toothbrush …. and my book.”

“You’ve been reading my book all night. You don’t need your copy from the hotel room.”

“No, not your book. _A Farewell to Arms._ I found it in a vintage book store and I’ve been reading it all day.”

“Is that so?” Jess said with a smile. Leaning down, he whispered in her ear, his hot, sweet breath making the tiny hairs on her skin stand up, “You know Ernest only has lovely things to say about you,” he smiled against her skin and placed a kiss on the side of her neck.

Rory sighed quietly against him, and brought her arms up around his neck.

Jess stood slowly, holding Rory tightly to him and carried her upstairs. He laid her down on the couch across from his bed and covered her lightly with a blanket. Before he let go of her, he kissed her gently but surely on the lips, their tongues lapping together briefly. With one last kiss to her forehead, he reluctantly pulled away. “I’ll be back in twenty minutes. Are the keys in your purse downstairs?”

Rory nodded weakly, fighting against sleep. She didn’t want to close her eyes for fear that this was all a dream. She didn’t want it to disappear; she didn’t want Jess to disappear.

Jess saw her struggle and brought a hand to brush softly against her cheek. “Sleep, Rory. I’ll be here when you wake up. I promise.”

That was all Rory needed to instantly drift off to sleep. Before he left, he put a bottle of water and a facecloth on the coffee table. Jess waited until her breathing was slow and regular before he made the quick dash to her hotel.

Twenty minutes later, he was back at the Truncheon brownstone, carrying Rory’s things. Quietly he snuck back into his apartment to find that she had not even stirred since he left. Jess sat down in the armchair next to the couch and watched her sleep. Eventually, he picked up her copy of _A Farewell to Arms_ and opened it to the page she had earmarked. Jess sat across from Rory until he fell asleep, Hemingway open against his chest, rising and falling with his every breath.


	8. Chapter 8

Rory woke up sometime around one in the morning. It was totally dark and for a few seconds she panicked –her brain was still murky with sleep and she briefly forgot where she was. Looking around, she slowly registered the shadowy apartment she was in and the strange, small couch she was lying on. She saw Jess slumped over in a leather armchair, snoring lightly.

She took a deep breath as all the events of a few hours earlier came rushing back. Just thinking of how quickly things turned around – how they started out fighting and then in an instant, it turned into tenderness, hushed apologies and declarations- Rory was overwhelmed. 

Rory was in Jess’ apartment; he’d fallen asleep in a chair next to her. This was not a dream; it was really happening.

She stood slowly and stiffly, quietly trying to right her rumpled clothing. This was the second time in as many weeks that she’d ended up crying her heart out and falling asleep in her clothes. Rory shook her head and took off her blazer, trying to straighten out the wrinkles by laying it flat on the couch. Bringing her hands to her face, she winced as she felt all the dried makeup caked there.

Rory spotted her things on the floor next to where Jess was sleeping. She was startled to find that he brought more than she’d asked for –he had packed her entire small suitcase and brought everything. Her purse, which she couldn’t find earlier, was sitting on top of her suitcase. She smiled slightly, in spite of herself. Rory knew she’d want to ask Jess why he brought everything and figured that might lead to another intense conversation. But in this moment, standing in the dark in a strange apartment in rumpled clothing, with a caked and puffy face, Rory was glad for Jess’ gesture.

Tiptoeing over to him, Rory saw _A Farewell to Arms_ resting in his chest as he slept. She sighed as she felt another wave of emotion hit her at the sight of him sleeping. He came right back and he stayed, just like he told her he would. The sight of the Hemingway on his chest was enough to make her breath hitch; it was such a tender picture. She committed this sight to memory, determined to remember every detail.

Quietly, she rummaged through her suitcase until she found her shampoo and shower gel and then grabbed her pajamas. Standing up, before heading into the bathroom she delicately traced the lines of Jess’ face. He looked so peaceful she couldn’t help herself. With one finger, she traced his eyebrows, delicately ghosted the outline of his lips and ran her finger across his smooth forehead and down his nose. She traced it up and back down again, remembering all the hard lines she’d seen in his face earlier that night. She prayed that she wouldn’t have to see such pain in his features again for a long time. Rory leaned down and placed a soft, full kiss on his forehead and lightly ran her fingers through his mahogany brown hair. It was just as soft as she remembered; she always loved the feel of it between her fingers. Even in his sleep, Jess shifted slightly so that he unconsciously leaned into her touch. After a few seconds, she pecked him on the cheek lightly and padded off to the bathroom.

Rory showered quickly and quietly. She was so quick about it she didn’t even overthink the fact that she was naked, in Jess’ bathroom, in Jess’ apartment while he slept in the next room. It occurred to her only briefly as she wiped the steam off the bathroom mirror to run a brush through her wet hair, tying it back in an elastic, off her face. Grabbing her clothes in a bundle, she flicked off the light in the bathroom before she opened the door out of courtesy for Jess; she carefully navigated her way back to the living room area, shoving her dirty clothes in her suitcase.

Lying down on the couch, flat on her back, Rory stared at the ceiling for almost half an hour. She unable to fall back asleep despite still being exhausted and finally wearing something comfortable to sleep in. After a few more minutes, she sat up and let out a sigh of frustration.

Rory looked over to Jess, still sound asleep. Taking a deep breath, Rory rose off the couch and made her way over to him; gently, she removed Hemingway from his chest and set the book on the coffee table, face down, careful not to lose his place. She watched him breathe for a few seconds until she was able to match his rhythm. As Jess slowly breathed in, Rory took hold of the arm that was resting on his chest and held it up slightly, giving her just enough room to crawl in next to him and curl against his side; as Jess released his breath, Rory gently set his arm down so that it wrapped around her shoulders. She snuggled against him, his warmth already lulling her to sleep. Sighing in contentment, Rory rested her head in the crook of Jess’ shoulder.

Jess stirred and woke up slowly, “Rory?” he whispered, his voice low and groggy with sleep. “What’s wrong, are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” she said, smiling at him. “Just couldn’t sleep over there anymore, that’s all. I took a shower and you looked so comfortable over here… this is better.”  
  
“Okay,” he said with a sleepy smile, bringing his other arm up to encircle her fully. He kissed her wet hair lightly.

Jess felt like he was dreaming; Rory being here, let alone curling up next to him to fall asleep, was all too good to be true. Good things like this happened to other people, but not him. He was never this lucky. Even though he was groggy, Jess tried to wake himself up enough to focus, so that he could remember what this felt like, the girl of his dreams lying next to him, falling asleep in his arms.

Feeling him continue to stir, Rory whispered the same words he’d said to her earlier, “Sleep, Jess. I’ll be here when you wake up. I promise.”

“Okay,” Jess said as he drifted off. “Good.”

* * *

When Rory woke up, she was still curled up tightly on the chair, but she was covered in a blanket and Jess wasn’t there. She was surprised when she was able to extend her arm, finding no one next to her. For an instant, she was terrified. Had snuggling next to him last night been too much? Within a few seconds her anxious thoughts were interrupted by the sound of something sizzling in a pan and the smell of garlic and coffee. She turned around to see Jess standing at the counter in his tiny kitchenette, carefully frying eggs and bacon.

Rory let out a sigh of relief. “Smells good!” she said, stretching out and getting up slowly.

“How do you want your eggs?” Jess asked without turning around.

“I’m a fan of over-easy, these days,” she said, making her way over to him. Standing beside him, she watched him work. “Garlic with fried eggs?”

“Yeah. Chop garlic super fine, throw it in the hot pan, let it brown a bit and then crack the eggs in with it. Tastes great, I promise.”  
   
“I trust you,”

“Well, that’s a relief,” Jess said, giving her a warm grin. “Hey, plates are up there, mugs too,” he gestured to the cupboard on his right. “Grab a few, put them down next to me here.”

Rory followed his directions. “Can I do anything else?”

“Nope. I haven’t forgotten how hopeless you are in the kitchen, Ror. Just go take a seat. These are almost done anyway.”

“Fine, be that way,” Rory pouted for show and kissed Jess on the side of his head before heading over to the couch. She laughed to herself and wondered if it occurred to him too, how much they sounded like a comfortable couple just then. She waited for her cheeks to get hot with embarrassment, but they didn’t.

Jess came in two minutes later, deftly balancing both plates on one arm, carrying two mugs of coffee in his other hand. Very carefully, he set everything down on the coffee table and sat next to her on the couch.

“Impressive,” Rory said when she saw his balancing act.  
             
“Yeah, turns out almost two years of forced labour in Luke’s diner weren’t a total waste. Picked up a few tricks.”

“Like garlic with fried eggs?”

“Nope. That one’s all me.”

Picking up her plate and taking a bite, she nodded in approval. “Wow, that’s really great. I can’t imagine how I had eggs without garlic for all this time.”

“I know, right?”

“I didn’t know you cooked.”  
             
“It’s bacon and eggs; not exactly chefs du cuisine.”  
             
“Still. You’re talking to a woman whose forays in the kitchen begin and end with walking around a coffee pot looking for the handle.”

“Touché.”

Rory took another bite of her eggs and bacon and swallowed a few mouthfuls of coffee, steeling herself to ask Jess why he’d brought her entire suitcase back with him last night. At the last second, she got cold feet and asked her other question first. “So, how did you end up writing your book and working here?”

Jess finished chewing before he answered. “I started writing the book when I was still living in New York. Had no idea when I was writing it that it would end up being a book, let alone a published book. It took about six months to write. After a few revisions, when I could be even slightly satisfied that it wasn’t _total_ bullshit, I started looking into small independent presses, figured I’d try my luck. Truncheon was willing to bite. Chris and Matthew asked me to come meet them after they read the manuscript. They gave me the rundown, said they really liked my style and it turned out they were down a guy, so they asked me to step in. That was about six months ago. Truncheon’s been growing slow and steady ever since. It’ll never be Penguin Books or Oxford University Press, but we like the young, hip vibe we’ve got going on. We’re happy being the underdog.”  
             
“Wow. Jess. That’s really amazing,”

“Yeah, I’ve come quite a long way since the last time I saw you at Yale, It’s even hard for me to believe sometimes.”

Rory blushed at the memory of Jess telling her he loved her and then driving away, only to come back a few weeks later and beg her to leave with him.

Jess sensed that he’d stumbled into a sensitive area. “Rory, hey. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to …. Shit.”

“No, Jess, it’s okay,” Rory said, shaking her head a little too vigorously.

Jess sighed and turned to face her on the couch. He took her hands gently, holding them in his own. “No, it’s not okay Rory. What I did? Telling you I loved you like that and then bolting? Only to come back and beg you to run away with me? Neither event is anything I’m proud of. I’m sorry, Ror. You were right to refuse me at Yale, I thought I had my shit together, but I definitely didn’t. The way I treated you back then, not some of my finer moments. I’m sorry, really, for what I did to you then.”

Rory looked at him, her blue eyes soft and forgiving –more forgiving than Jess thought he deserved. “I believe you,” she said, releasing one of her hands to stroke his cheek. “It was hard for me to say no to you, let alone more than once, just so you know,” she said quietly. “But I could tell that you weren’t ready, or at least not as ready as you thought you were and were trying to convince me that you were. You have no idea how close I was to saying ‘yes’ after the second ‘no’. If I had, I could have saved myself from a big mess…”

Jess was looking at her with piqued curiosity.

“A mess, which you will hear about later. _Much later_. Not now,” Rory recovered.

Jess smirked at her. “That’s okay. I’m sure I will. But ‘ _much later_ ’ –that bad huh? What did you do, steal some blonde bimbo’s boyfriend right from under her nose and then get into a hair pulling contest?”

Rory blushed scarlet at just how close Jess was to the truth, knowing the truth was worse.

Jess saw her grow quiet with embarrassment. “Hey Ror, I didn’t mean anything by it. Really. Breathe. You can tell me about it whenever you’re ready; you don’t even have to tell me about it at all if you don’t want. I’m sorry, really.”

“It’s okay,” Rory said, brushing it off with a smile.

“I just love watching you try to back pedal when your mouth is going too fast for your brain,” Jess said with a crooked grin, ducking his head down to meet her eyes.

“Very funny,” Rory deadpanned. She punched him in the arm playfully and smiled. “Jerk.”

Jess smiled back, relieved that the momentary awkwardness was gone. “Anyway, you saying no really forced me to get my shit together. For real. I realized shortly after I got back to New York what an idiot move that was, begging you to run away. You saying no gave me the jolt I needed in order to realize that I really wasn’t as mature and together as I’d let myself believe. Pretty soon after I got back from embarrassing myself in front of you at Yale, I started writing _The Sub Sect_.”

“Well it is widely believed that the tough love approach is very effective. I really am sorry that this whole wonderful journey of yours started on a sour note, but it turned out fantastically for you. You seem much happier too, you know,” Rory said with a smile.

“Well sometimes, against all odds, what starts out on a sour note turns into something sweet and beautiful,” Jess said with a sincerity that caught Rory off-guard.

“Did you just tell me that I’m beautiful?” Rory teased.

“Why yes, I believe I did.”

Despite having both garlic breath _and_ coffee breath, Jess leaned in and kissed Rory, hot and wet on the lips. They were so blissed out that neither of them cared. Gone was the fragility of the night before, replaced by the comfort that comes with being sure that Jess would be perfectly happy if Rory was the last woman he ever kissed.

Rory melted into his mouth as they nipped, sucked and explored each other confidently. She too, found herself thinking she would be perfectly content to kiss Jess and only Jess for the rest of her life.

Slowly pulling apart, Jess felt the need to gather himself. “More coffee?” he asked.

“Sure,” Rory said, handing him her mug.

Setting the mugs down on the counter in the kitchenette, Jess squeezed the bridge of his nose tightly with two fingers. He needed to find a way to broach the topic of everything that happened the night before. He’d heard Rory loud and clear; doubting her sincerity was out of the question. He was absolutely certain that she meant everything she’d said.

He felt a sting of shame when he thought back to the accusations he’d made, the conclusions he’d jumped to and how he yelled at her. As soon as she’d stopped to let out that first sob –after she’d rushed to tell him something so difficult for fear of being thrown out before she had the chance- he wanted to run to her and stop her tears. Just knowing that he got through to her about Yale like he hoped he’d be able to was enough to leave him stunned and immobile, like wishing for something you know you’ll never get because it’s too good to be true only to find it gift-wrapped on Christmas morning. But then everything else she said on top of that –how proud of him she was, how sorry she was for everything she’d ever done to hurt him, telling him she always knew he was destined for _greatness_ \- knocked the wind out of him; he couldn’t even begin to process any of it until she was completely finished. No wonder she couldn’t find her words when he was staring at her so desperately; no wonder his accusations had her in tears.

Even after her painful cries jolted him back to reality, he needed to look into her beautiful blue eyes before he could be sure. All he saw when he looked into them was anguish and fear. Rory was sure she’d lost him and Jess was so stunned to see that truth in her eyes, he thought his heart was going to crash out of his chest. He still didn’t know exactly how long he’d sat downstairs holding her before he brought her up here. Even though he knew better, he was half afraid he’d get back from her hotel to find her gone. And then to wake up in the middle of the night to feel her sneaking under his arms and falling asleep against him? No –he couldn’t go back in there and expect more of her; he needed to make sure she knew he was just as serious as she was. Jess needed to be sure Rory felt safe with him, that she could trust him with her heart this time. Taking a deep breath, Jess refilled their coffee mugs and headed back to the couch.

“Hey, what took you so long?” Rory asked when he rounded the arm of the couch.

Clearly, he’d been lost in his thoughts longer than he anticipated he would be. “Sorry,” he said, his voice already getting thick.

“Jess, what’s wrong?” Rory was concerned; she saw his furrowed brow and felt a lump rise in her throat. She’d just traced her fingers over his smooth face last night, hoping she wouldn’t see those lines for a very long time.

“Nothing,” he said, perching on the edge of the coffee table to face her.

Rory wasn’t buying it.

“Ror,” Jess said gently, reaching up to cup her cheek and looking into her eyes. “Nothing is wrong, I promise. Listen to me. I’m sorry I yelled at you last night. I’m sorry for the things I said before,”

“Jess, I should have spoken up faster. I kept my mouth shut for too long. You asked me what was wrong and I didn’t say anything. You had every right to…”

“No, I didn’t. I didn’t. Listen to me,” he said slowly. “Thank you, for everything you said last night,” Jess clenched his jaw and swallowed hard against the emotion rising in his throat. “I want you to know, I heard you. I heard all of it. I won’t forget anything you said. Not ever. And I want you to understand, I meant everything I said to you. Every word. I’m not going anywhere. I’m done running from you. I want this to work, Rory. I want you and I’m not going to screw it up again. I’m not going to shut you out anymore. I won’t push you…” Jess trailed off and winced in shame as he thought back to the party three years before. Slowly, he opened his eyes and looked at Rory intently. “You can trust me. I know I’ve said that before and I know that every time I’ve said it, I’ve always done things to make it impossible for you to believe me but I promise you, it’ll be different now. I’ll be better. _You’ve made me better_ , Rory. You’re safe with me.”  
             
“Jess,” Rory said slowly, a tear escaping her eye. Jess wiped it away with his thumb before it had a chance to roll down her cheek.

“Do you believe me, Ror?” Jess asked sincerely.

“Of course I believe you. I’ve always felt safe with you, even when everyone around me wished the case were otherwise. Even when _you_ wanted me to feel otherwise. I’ve never felt anything _but_ safe with you.”

Just as he had the night before, Jess held Rory’s face in his hands surely and held her gaze for several seconds before he let out another sigh of relief. But this time, Rory straightened up to be able to kiss his forehead instead.

“Jess?” Rory said quietly as she settled back into the couch.

Jess was still holding her face gently, moving his arms with her as she sat back. “Yeah?”

“Last night, I know I was out of it, but I’m fairly certain I only asked for a change of clothes, my pajamas, my toothbrush and my book. So why did you bring my whole suitcase?”

“Well, clearly, I had very high hopes for this conversation. Happily, I was not disappointed,” he smiled slyly as she scooted down the couch to make room for him to slide into the corner. He settled in next to Rory and put an arm around her neck. As her head settled into the bend in his elbow, Jess absent-mindedly ran his fingers lightly through her messy hair. He looked at her tenderly. “I guess I just figured you could stay here. You’re probably only here till tomorrow anyway, right?”  
             
“Monday, actually.”  
             
“Monday? Don’t you have class?”  
             
Rory shook her head. “Not till Tuesday.”

“What about the paper?”

“Paris is covering me until I get back.”  
             
“Paris,” Jess said, cocking his eyebrow. “I thought you said no one knew you were coming here?”

“Well, Luke did see me last night. So rest assured, my mom will know. Paris doesn’t know I’m here. She thinks I’m in Stars Hollow until Monday helping Lane with wedding planning.”  
             
“Lane’s getting _married_?”

“Yup. Next weekend.”

“Who’s the lucky guy?”  
             
“Zach. The guitarist from Hep Alien. Remember?”

“I remember. Has he met her mother? Did she chase him down the street with a broomstick?”

“Yes he has and no, she didn’t actually. She helped him write a hit song to prove that he could provide for Lane, and then she gave him her blessing.”

“Okay. Done asking questions now,” Jess said laughing. “So, stay here till Monday then.”

 “Are you sure?” Rory asked, craning her neck to look him in the eye.

 “Are _you_ sure?”

“Jess, I only meant… I don’t want to get in your way.”

“I wouldn’t mind, even if you were in my way. After the conversation we just had, I’m pretty sure we both agreed that in each other’s way is where we should be. That’s not what you meant,” Jess said knowingly. “Rory. What happened last time we were alone in a room on a bed … it won’t happen again. I meant what I said. I will not push you.”

Gently, Rory ran her thumb against the worry line setting into Jess’ forehead, trying to erase it. “Hey. That was a long time ago; water under the bridge. And I know,”

“Really, Ror, I’m not even ready for that. I mean, we just got here and this took us like, five years…”           

“Jess,” Rory said steadily. “I know. When it happens, it happens. We’ll get there when we get there. Together. We can both agree, it isn’t happening now; we aren’t ready. We just have to keep talking to each other, make sure we stay on the same page. Stop worrying you’re going to screw this up. I’m not.”  
             
“Well, I’m glad one of us is smart enough to have perspective on the whole thing,” Jess grinned.

“Hey, you’re plenty smart, Mister I-Wrote-A-Book-And-Run-A-Publishing-House.”

“So, you’ll stay?”  
             
“I’ll stay,”  
             
“Good. Considering I’ll miss you next weekend, I need to get my fill of my favourite Gilmore girl,” Jess said, kissing the side of Rory’s head softly.

“You mean you won’t be my date to Lane’s wedding? You can draw body outlines in chalk at the reception. Once Mrs. Kim turns in I’m sure you’ll have no shortage of volunteers lying on the pavement to get traced,” Rory teased.

“Tempting as it is to watch steam come out of everyone’s ears as soon as they see me, I’ll pass. Sleeping together isn’t the only thing we need to take one step at a time. I’m not sure that everyone in Stars Hollow will welcome me back into their lives as readily as you did.”

“Well, Taylor definitely won’t. And Kirk will probably run away crying,” Rory laughed. “You’re right, Lane’s wedding would be a bad idea. But I’ll miss you,” she said, ducking her head into Jess’ shoulder.

“I’ll miss you too. If I thought leaving you before was tough, imagine how I’ll feel watching you walk out that door on Monday.” Jess said seriously. “I’ll visit you in New Haven the weekend after next.”

“Really?” Rory smiled widely. Her happiness was enough to light up a room; or at least whatever room Jess was in anyway.

“Yes, really. I’m pretty sure that’s how this mature adult relationship thing works. It’s all a very foreign concept to me, but as I understand it, when there’s distance involved, we’re supposed to take turns.”  
             
“You make a valid point.” After a pregnant pause, Rory chewed her bottom lip nervously. “Jess?”

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry. I mean, I don’t want to pull at a sensitive thread, but…”

“Rory. Speak.”

“You know that I still have to see Logan, right? At school. At the paper.”

Jess sighed. “I know,” he said, kissing her hair. He knew this was coming. “Rory, look at me,” gently turning her to face him, he took her face in his hands and let his brown eyes hold her gaze. He spoke slowly and sincerely “Listen to me. It’s not you I don’t trust. Okay?”

Rory’s blue eyes darted wildly from side to side. Jess held her face patiently, his eyes calm and steady. After several seconds, she nodded wordlessly and Jess raised his eyebrows to be sure she knew he was sincere. Once Rory’s eyes became equally steady and sure, Jess kissed her slowly and passionately.  
             
“Okay,” Rory said when they broke apart, “if we’re gonna keep doing this, we should really brush our teeth.”  
             
“Get used to it, Gilmore,” Jess said with a grin as she pulled him into the bathroom. After brushing their teeth side by side at the sink, Jess turned to Rory. “So, what do you want to do this weekend?”

“This is your city, not mine Mariano,”

“If there’s anything in Philadelphia you’re even slightly interested in experiencing, speak now. If you leave it up to me, we may not leave this apartment.”

“I have to get a Philly cheesesteak from Philadelphia. I bet they’re way better here.

“Naturally, you’re thinking of food, even though we just finished breakfast.” Jess pulled Rory in close and started trailing hot, wet kisses up and down her neck.

Rory’s stomach muscles released in the delicious way they do when someone you can’t get enough of has an equally hard time keeping their hands off you.

Jess felt her melting into his touch. “Keep thinking what you’re thinking,” he teased with a smile, echoing her words to him from three years earlier.  
             
“I don’t have a choice,” she responded without missing a beat, impressed that she could speak coherently amidst the affect Jess’ kissing was having on her. “Wait,” Rory pulled back slightly but Jess just inched forward, continuing his loving assault on her neck. “How is it that your partners, Chris and Matthew, right? Did they not come back last night? How were we left totally uninterrupted?”

“Oh they came back at some point,” he said, switching from kissing to nuzzling her neck so he could answer her. “The house is bigger than it looks; all three of us have our own small separate apartments.”

“Good thing,” Rory said, closing her eyes in ecstasy as Jess resumed sucking on her neck lightly. “No hickeys,”

Jess chuckled against her skin.

“I’m serious,” Rory implored. “I know it sounds stupid, but I really want to enjoy the time that we have when it’s just us, and a hickey would be a dead giveaway.”

Jess stopped to look at her and was surprised at the sincerity in her eyes. He couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped his lips. So many of her quirks endeared her to him.

“I meant what I said Jess, about why I didn’t tell anyone I was coming here. In Stars Hollow, something was always complicating us and more often than not it was people who got in our way. I want to enjoy the time we have now, when this is just… ours. Does that make any sense?”

“I’m not seventeen anymore, Rory, I can think of many ways to enjoy the taste of your skin without leaving love marks all over you,” Jess smiled. He looked at her seriously before he continued, “Of course what you’re saying makes sense. This can be just ours for as long as you want. Come here,” Jess hugged Rory tightly to him, lovingly cradling the back of her head in his hand, gently massaging her scalp. Rory responded instantly by bringing her hands up to tangle in his hair. Jess closed his eyes in pleasure; he’d missed the way she ran her fingers through his dark locks. This simple habit of hers was surprisingly intoxicating for him; he loved the way she gently twisted and pulled at his hair. “Now,” Jess said, pulling away only slightly, “I’m going to return to my original question: Provided I bring you a Philly cheesesteak, as requested, is there anything else in Philadelphia you’d like experience? Going once. Going twice…”

Rory pulled Jess into a steamy kiss; she caught his bottom lip between hers and sucked gently, until she heard him groan. Wanting to make up for last night, when she heard the wonderfully sexy sounds he made, she sucked just a little bit harder, tightening her tangled grip on his hair. Jess responded by snaking an arm around her waist and pulling her closer so that they were pressed together completely, holding her tight enough to cause a delicious mixture of pain and pleasure. Still, no matter how close they got, it never seemed to be close enough. They kissed each other furiously for a long time, until they were both breathless.

“Everything in Philadelphia that I care about seeing is in my arms right now,” Rory said simply when they finally pulled apart. “When you get me that Philly cheesesteak, we can go out, but beyond that, I have everything I need right here.”

Jess was briefly overwhelmed by her response, wondering how in the world he ever got so lucky as to be this amazing woman’s object of desire. He recovered quickly and shot Rory a seductive grin that had her melting; even this man’s smile was enough to make her wet with wanting. Sensing the affect he was having on her, he whispered with a devilish smirk against her skin, “Well, it’s a good thing we brushed our teeth then…”

* * *

 For the rest of the weekend they spent their days talking, kissing and teasing, loving the sweet torture of it all. When Monday morning dawned, they held each other quietly, agreeing that they would text and email and set aside time for long conversations every night, no matter how late.

Saying goodbye was equally hard on both of them; Rory shed a few quiet tears, which Jess kissed away before they could fall. Jess kissed her mouth hungrily, with such ferocity that Rory’s knees wobbled and he had to wrap his arms around her and hold her tightly, to keep her from falling. They stood panting, foreheads pressed together; Rory’s panties were soaked right through and they were standing so tightly against each other that she could feel Jess’ hardness against her leg. Both of them were simultaneously cursing themselves for agreeing to wait, but they both knew it was better this way. Neither of them regretted the choice, even though they knew –and talked at length- about how difficult it would be.

Right before Rory walked out the door, Jess pecked her nose lightly and smiled his beautiful crooked smile. He held her there until she smiled in return. As he closed the door behind her, Jess was still smiling. Before he could register what was happening, both of his eyes welled up with tears and spilled over, trailing wet streaks down his cheeks. He watched as they fell onto the floor, landing with a small splash. He laughed to himself and inhaled sharply, realizing for the first time what it felt like to cry tears of joy.


	9. Chapter 9

“God, look at me. I look like a bride,” Lane said as she stared at her refection in disbelief moments before walking down the isle.

Rory giggled and gave her a warm smile, “You are a bride.”  

“I feel so weird.”    
              
“I want a picture!” 

Lane looked at Rory quizzically. “Of me feeling weird?”  

“No,” Rory said laughing, “of me standing next to you while you're feeling weird.” The explanation was simple and Lane accepted it without argument. Rory set up her camera on auto mode and posed next to her best friend.

Right after the camera flashed, the door to the dressing room opened slowly and Mrs. Kim entered. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, Mrs. Kim. Everything's fine,” Rory said.

“Hmm. The dress looks different,” Mrs. Kim said, looking at the dress with a scrutinizing eye.  
              
“Really?” Lane said, trying not to panic. Lorelai had miraculously transformed the garment from something resembling a personal flotation device (with pants) into an actual wedding gown. “Does it? Everything looks different through the eyes of a bride,” Lane said quickly, hoping her mother would drop it.  
              
Mrs. Kim turned to Rory. “Rory, can you excuse us a moment?”    
              
“Sure,” Rory said, sticking her camera in her purse. “I'll be right outside.” 

Quietly shutting the door behind her, Rory dug her phone out of her purse. Flipping it open, she saw she had one unread text message: _I know we agreed Lane’s wedding would be a bad idea, but right about now I’m regretting that choice. You have no idea how much I want to see you in that dress._

Smiling confidently, Rory typed a quick reply: _What if I told you it was hideous? Layers of crinoline, puffed sleeves, oversized bows, Pepto Bismol pink?_

Within seconds, her phone buzzed again: _I’d say you’re a liar –lying with the best intentions, to ease my pain, but a liar nonetheless._

_I’ll make sure to send you pictures, don’t worry._

_Good. No promises that I’ll remain proper and gentlemanly when I see them though._

Rory blushed. She and Jess had kept up their promises; she couldn’t help fluttering with joy, though she knew it had only been a week. Her phone was nearly exploding with text messages, her email inbox overflowing with at least two letters a day. Their conversations at night left her exhausted every day, not just from lack of sleep. Rory was falling fast. Jess was really different this time. He was present. Putting in the effort. Their conversations were long and meaningful –an easy ebb and flow of lighthearted banter and serious discussion. Since returning from Philadelphia Rory felt lighter than air, like a piece of her life she never knew was missing had fallen into place.

The distance was hard; she still hadn’t told anyone she’d gone to Philadelphia, or what happened while she was there. Rory missed Jess so much sometimes it was actually painful, regardless of the short amount of time that had elapsed. Rory was torn between wanting things to get easier and reconciling that a small part of her hoped it didn’t; it wouldn’t be real if it were that simple. She longed to kiss him, snuggle against him and feel his strong embrace. The tension was also building –they’d agreed to wait, until it felt right and they were both ready, but neither of them knew how long that would be. Both simply trusted that when the moment was right, they would know. But, as a result, their conversations turned racy in a snap and neither faulted the other for however they chose to relieve that tension, though methods of relief were never discussed –not yet anyway.

Rory came out of her thoughts as she heard shuffling in the dressing room. Quickly, she sent a message to Jess: _Whatever you need to do, Mariano. They’ll be in your inbox later tonight._ Hitting send, she felt a sudden rush of emotion and longing. After a short pause, she sent another, sincere message: _I miss you, Jess. I wish you were here. Being without you… it’s hard._ As she hit send, Rory held her breath.

Her phone buzzed less than a minute later and with a trembling hand, she read the message: _I miss you too Rory. I’ll be there in less than a week, focus on that. Now go, Lane needs her maid of honour. Call me later; don’t care what time it is._

Smiling, Rory put her phone back in her purse as Lane and Mrs. Kim emerged. “Shall we get you married, little miss?” Rory asked with a smile. Seeing Lane in her wedding gown, Rory’s breath hitched. Not only because of how beautiful her friend was, but because she realized that one day, she wanted this too. Not any time soon, but someday.

The ceremony was beautiful; in quintessential Stars Hollow fashion, the entire town was running to get a seat at the church. With the entire Kim clan in attendance, there were sixty-two Koreans and fifty-eight seats. All of Stars Hollow was pushing and shoving and vying for the four seats that remained. Everyone arrived out of breath to find Miss Patty sitting quietly in a pew, knitting. Sookie was astonished to hear that Miss Patty had been there all night. Miss Patty however, offered a very simple explanation, “Fifty-eight seats and sixty-two Koreans? Please,”

After the ceremony, most of the Kim clan disappeared just as suddenly as they arrived. The reception was full of familiar faces and fell into a very relaxed vibe.

Rory’s Maid of Honour speech went off without a hitch, just the right mix of humour and heartwarming, everyone laughing and ‘aww!-ing’ at all the perfect intervals. “I'm not one for speeches, and I don't have any incriminating pictures of Lane, but I do have this letter,” Rory started. The crowd went “Oooooo,” right on cue, as if they were taping a laugh track for a sitcom. “This letter was written in 1995 by one Lane Kim. It was slipped into my hands during a spelling test in Miss Mellon's class. I was so shocked by its contents that I missed the word automobile -- o-t-t-o-mobile. That's right, Lane. I remember. I will now share with you the contents of this letter. ‘Dear Rory, how was your lunch? Mine was bad. Did you have ham again? If you did, I am sorry, but mine was worse. I thought you should know that today at recess I decided that I'm going to marry Alex Backus. He has a very nice head, and his ears don't stick out like Ronnie Winston's do. I will love him forever, no matter what. See you at brownies. Love, Lane.’ I’m sorry Lane, I just thought that Zach should know that in your heart, he will always be second place to Alex Backus and his well-proportioned ears.”

“It’s true,” Lane conceded.  
                
“But the bottom line is, I love you, Lane. Congratulations. To the bride and groom.”

Lane got up and tearfully embraced her best friend.  
              
“Congratulations, you,” Rory whispered, embracing Lane warmly, feeling tears of joy come to her eyes as well.

When Rory came over to see Lorelai and drag her up to the dance floor, Lorelai figured this was as good a time as any, “So,” she said casually as she twirled her daughter to the music, “Luke tells me you were in Philadelphia last weekend. At Jess’ open house,”

“Um, yeah. I was,” Rory said, suddenly thankful that it was crowded and hot, so that her mother wouldn’t notice her blush.

“Jess? Philadelphia? What am I missing here?” Lorelai pressed.  
              
“Nothing. Jess' work had an open house, I was invited, and I went.”

“He invited you?”

“Yes Mom, he invited me. Does that surprise you?”

“A little. It’s also a little surprising that you went. You two went on quite the rollercoaster when you were together kid. He wasn’t exactly stable together guy. He left you in a lurch, more than once.”

Rory suddenly found herself becoming defensive. “Mom, it wasn’t all his fault.”

“Oh? Let’s see –he crashed your car, sabotaged your relationship with Dean…”

“Really, Mom,” Rory cut in, “don’t bring Dean into this.”

Lorelai sighed when she saw her daughter’s stern face and gave up without a fight. “Okay fine. That’s neither here nor there. But still, he sabotaged your car, abandoned you, showed up a year later, told you that he loved you and abandoned you again…”

“Mom, all that was a long time ago. He’s … not like that anymore. I was no saint to him either,”  
              
“Rory, as your mother, I am obligated to hold the belief that you are better than all other human beings on this planet. Just be careful, is all I’m saying.”

“Jess is doing great, Mom. Did Luke tell you he wrote a book? That he works at that publishing house now, as a part owner?”

“He did, Hun. He was so excited about that book; I’ve never seen him read anything so intently that doesn’t have anything to do with fishing. I’m not mad at you, you’re a grown woman and you can do what you want. I’m glad you and Jess have found a way to be friends. I am. I’m just saying, be careful.” Lorelai looked at Rory as they danced with a glint in her eye, a knowing glint. After a pause, she said, “Does Logan know you went to Philadelphia?”

“I broke up with Logan a month ago, Mom,”

“I know. Still waiting on backstory about that by the way,”  
              
“Mom,” Rory sighed.

“Yes, I know. When you’re ready. I agreed to this thinking I’d have the gossip before now though. The anticipation is killing me!”

“To answer your original question in a more satisfactory manner,” Rory said, ignoring Lorelai’s dig, “being _broken up_ with Logan aside, I haven’t really seen him a lot. I heard he went to Costa Rica with his Life and Death Brigade buddies, I don’t even know if he’s back yet. Even if he is, what I do with my time is none of his business anymore.”

“Truer words were never spoken, my child,” Lorelai said, pulling her daughter close.

Rory felt bad. All she’d told her mom was that Logan crossed a line; she couldn’t bring herself to tell her that he’d cheated on her. Not that there would be any great amount of love lost –even after Lorelai reluctantly warmed up to Logan, she was always weary of him. Rory felt like coming clean about one thing would force her to come clean about the other –not at all unlike how she found herself blurting out everything to Jess during an emotional breakdown, even though that had worked out miraculously in her favour- and she wasn’t ready to do that. A lot of intense things had happened over the last few weeks; while she was elated that she and Jess had finally been honest enough with each other and were, at long last, giving an honest go at having a real intense adult relationship, privy to all of it’s ensuing pains and pleasures, Rory was still processing everything. As such, she gave her mother just enough information to keep her at bay.

She was furious at Logan for how he’d betrayed her and then tried to abdicate all responsibility in the matter, so she wasn’t being vague with her mother for _his_ benefit. Nor was Rory ashamed of anything that had transpired when she was in Philadelphia –she wasn’t even too torn up about how the truth came out as a result of desperation in the middle of a breakdown. That’s how things with Jess had always been –all or nothing. And the intense feelings she had for Jess after barely week just served as proof. He could be the one. As much as that terrified her, it also made her feel incredibly calm and serene. Almost like they had to hurt each other as much as they did to get where they are now and if that were the case, she was willing to forgive the follies of their teenaged years –hell, she wanted to drop to her knees in thanks.

But Rory was still processing all of the ways that her life had drastically changed since the Huntzberger wedding just four weeks ago. She wasn’t ready to talk to her mom about it yet, because she wasn’t done processing everything, analytically, chronologically or –especially- emotionally. Rory’s relationship with her mother was non-existent during the time she was not at Yale; she knew her mother deserved to know the truth about exactly how –and who- helped her get back on track. In getting through to her about what a mess she’d made by dropping out of Yale, Jess also had a direct hand in mending her relationship with her mom –something he probably easily deduced when Luke “alluded to something” in regards to why she was staying with her grandparents when he visited. Lorelai deserved to know the truth about how Jess had –in essence- saved her life. Rory knew that she needed to tell her mom these things and she really wanted to. But she wasn’t quite ready. She wanted to enjoy this wonderful blissful calm just a little while longer. Everything was finally set right and she wanted to bask, before life got too much in the way and complications inevitably sprung up.

Complications would turn up sooner than expected, dashing Rory’s hopes of being able to bask in her hard earned secret bliss –complications that went by the name of Huntzberger.  
               
After the wedding, Rory’s phone rang. Her heart fluttered, giddy because Jess called her first even though he told her to call when the night was through. She looked at the time –it was after midnight- and figured he’d assumed she’d be home by now, or at the very least that things would be winding down.

Without even bothering to look at her call display, she answered on the first ring. “Hey you!” Rory said warmly. “I thought I was supposed to call you? You just couldn’t resist waiting even a tiny bit longer huh? I know you’ll hate me for saying this, but you’re adorable,”

There was a beat of silence and the warm smile disappeared from her face in an instant. “Yes, this is Rory Gilmore,”

“I’m calling in regards to Logan Huntzberger, ma’am. He’s been in an accident. He’s currently being airlifted to a hospital in New York. Normally we would not release this information to non-family members, but he insisted we call you to tell you. I’m afraid I’m not at liberty to say anything else.” The nurse on the phone stopped, clearly not intending to say any more.

“Wait, what?” Rory stammered. “Which hospital? What happened? Is he okay?”

“New York Presbyterian, Ma’am. He is in stable but serious condition. I’m sorry but I’m really not at liberty to say anything more.”

Hanging up the phone and throwing it in her purse, Rory got into her car and was on route to New York immediately. What Logan did to her was unforgivable and it was true, she had no desire to ever see him again. She wanted Logan out of her life, but Rory certainly didn’t want him to die.


	10. Chapter 10

Rory broke all kinds of speed limits and made it to New York in just over an hour. It probably didn’t hurt that there was no traffic when you started your journey at midnight either. She threw her purse in the backseat when she got in the car and couldn’t hear it vibrating at least half a dozen times while she was driving.

To say she was frazzled when she arrived at the hospital would be a gross understatement. The fact that she hadn’t seen him in a month didn’t even cross Rory’s mind as she immediately set to work trying to ascertain Logan’s well-being.

“Excuse me, I'm looking for Logan Huntzberger, he’s...”

The nurse she was speaking to didn’t even bother looking up but instead just pointed her finger to another nurse.      

Undaunted, Rory tried again, “Excuse me, can you help me find Logan…”  

“Sorry, this isn't my floor,” the second nurse said, not at all apologetic. 

Rory took a deep breath and approached a third nurse. She had a clipboard; this one had to know something. “Excuse me, can someone here help me find Logan Huntzberger?”    
             
“He was just transferred out of the I.C.U., Room seven thirteen,” the nurse said flatly.  
             
“How is he?”    
             
“Are you family?”    
             
“I…” Rory started “I was his girlfriend. Until very recently,” she said. She hoped that last bit would add to her credibility.  
             
“All I can tell you is that he's not conscious right now and that he's in serious but stable condition,” the nurse replied.

“What does that mean, ‘serious but stable’?”    
             
“Just what it says.”  
             
“But is it more serious or stable? Which way is it leaning?”    
             
“I’m sorry I can only release more information to family members.”    
             
“But I was girlfriend. We were together a long time. It was not a casual thing; we lived together,” Rory was getting desperate.

“Sorry,” the nurse said.

Rory was just about to make another impassioned plea when she saw Colin and Finn, unsurprisingly behaving like they were at the circus, rather that at the hospital awaiting news about their severely injured friend. Marching right over to them, she wasted no time. “How is he? Is he okay?”  

“Scuttlebutt is he's not dead,” Finn said with a disturbing amount of mirth.  
  
Colin agreed. “The man is indestructible,”    
             
“Dives headfirst off the cliffs of caldera, instantly spins out of control,” Finn said with a flourish.

“Gets totally disoriented, barely gets his chute open,” Colin interjected.

“Bounces off every rock and crag in the park,”    
             
“Yet still manages to stick the landing. We gave him a nine point seven. Had to deduct point three for all the screaming and bleeding.”    
             
Rory found their callousness disgusting. “What about his family, did you talk to them?”    
“Honour is on her honeymoon in Mykonos, trying to get back, and Logan's mom checked herself into some sort of spa in Arizona the moment she heard,” Colin said blandly.  
             
“When the going gets tough, the tough get hot-rock massages,” Finn said with a chortle.  
             
“What about Mitchum?” Rory pressed, steadily becoming enraged.  
             
“The ‘Dark Lord’! We left word but haven't heard anything.”  

“But we've come up with a plan to get around the whole ‘family only gets information’ thing. We’re adopting him,” Colin said with a self-satisfied smirk.  
             
“What?” Rory was beginning to think they were both drunk.  
  
Finn looked at Colin and batted his eyelashes, increasing the octave of his voice when he spoke. “Logan will make a fine son,”  

“Of course,” Colin said, puffing out his chest. “First we must be married,”  
             
“Naturally, darling. I'm very old-fashioned.”    
             
“And even then, adopting as a gay couple is never easy.”  
             
“We just want to give love.”  

“Oh, Finn!” Colin said, embracing Finn in a showy gesture.  
             
“Oh, buttercup!” Finn exclaimed, pretending to faint.  
  
Rory had had enough of their bullshit. “What the hell is wrong with you two? Your best friend is lying unconscious in a hospital, and you don't even care!”        
             
“Rory…” Finn started to say, taken aback.  
             
“No! Why the hell aren't you two lying unconscious in there, huh?”  
             
“Come on…” Colin said quietly.  
  
“You don't care, because if you did, you wouldn't be like this. You couldn’t. You're supposed have his back you’re supposed to watch out for each other on these stupid trips of yours. But no, everything's a big joke. Everything's hilarious. You're useless, both of you. Either start acting like human beings, or get the hell out of here,” Rory said firmly.  
  
“Sorry,” Finn said sheepishly.

“Yeah, sorry,” Colin agreed.

“We’ll behave.”

“Just, go sit down. Stop talking to me,” Rory said curtly.

With Colin and Finn mercifully out of her sight, Rory snuck into Logan’s hospital room. Seeing him lying there, all black and blue, with cuts and scrapes everywhere and a tube down his throat, she couldn’t hold back the small sob that escaped her throat. For the first time, he looked small to her, helpless. No matter how he’d betrayed her, Rory would never wish him ill; seeing Logan unconscious, broken and vulnerable and quite possibly hanging on by only a thread shook her to her core. Upon hearing the steady beeping of the heart monitor, she was able to calm herself slightly. Rory inched closer to him and very carefully picked up his hand to place a gentle kiss on his knuckles before wiping away her tears and leaving the room quickly.  
  
Inhaling a shaky breath, she slowly trudged over to Colin and Finn. “Do you have his cell phone?”  
  
Colin handed it to her without a word. She threw her purse down on the empty chair next to him before turning her back and walking to the end of the hall. Rory dialed Honour’s number, suddenly thankful that she’d always been on friendly terms with at least tone person in Logan’s family. “Hey Honour,”  
             
“Rory? Is that you?” Honour said when she picked up.

“Yeah it’s me,”  
             
“Thank God. If I had to continue talking to Colin and Finn, I’m afraid I might be ill. Listen, I heard about what happened between you and Logan. I’m sorry Rory, my brother really is quite the imbecile,”  
             
“We’re not back together Honour. I guess before they put him out for surgery, he told them to call me. I came, to make sure he was okay, but I’m not staying. Colin and Finn said you were trying to get a flight out of Mykonos? I hate that you're cutting your honeymoon short.”

“It’s okay,” Honour said, “with Mom flaking out, I don’t want to be here anymore. We've got seats on a flight tonight, but it's got a five-hour layover, in Ankara so we're trying to find something more direct. Either way we should be there sometime tomorrow night.”

“Okay. Good. So, have you heard anything more from your dad?”    
             
“Yeah, I just talked to him.”    
             
“Is he coming down here?”    
             
“Nope,” Honour said flatly.  
             
“He's out of town, too?” Rory asked, confused.  
             
“No, he's home. He's just not coming,” Honour clarified.  
             
“What?”    
             
“It's the Life And Death Brigade thing. He's very against it.”   
             
Rory was still confused. “But he was in the Life And Death Brigade.”  
             
“Yes, but he feels that he knew when to grow up and accept responsibility and that Logan doesn't. He wanted his precious boy done with that by now, so he's boycotting.”   
             
“He's boycotting his injured son?” Again, Rory felt disgust.  
             
“Hypocrisy runs very deep in the Huntzberger family,” Honour said matter-of-factly. “Anyhow, forget it. I'm sure Logan isn't expecting him.”

“Right, of course. Take care Honour. I’m glad you’re coming back.”

“Bye, Rory.”

Rory ended the call with Honour and immediately dialed Mitchum’s number from Logan’s cell phone, figuring this was one thing she could do as a final parting gift for him. Mitchum picked up on the second ring. “Mitchum Huntzberger? Yes, it's Rory Gilmore. I just thought I'd call and remind you that Logan is lying in a hospital bed with a whole host of potentially life-threatening injuries. And I'm figuring a guy like you, surrounded by nothing but a bunch of terrified sycophants might not have someone in his life with the guts to tell him what an incredibly selfish, narcissistic ass he's being, so I thought I'd jump on in. Swallow your pride, get in your car, and come down here and see your son, now!”

 Storming back over to Colin and Finn, Rory was very proud of herself; giving Mitchum a piece of her mind was not only personally cathartic, but it was the least she could do for Logan. She tossed Logan’s phone back to Colin and scooped up her purse. “I’m leaving guys; try not to commit involuntary manslaughter by pulling out his breathing tube. Honour should be here tomorrow.” Rory turned to leave. When her back was turned, Finn called out to her.

“Oi! Rory love,”

Without turning to face him, she rolled her eyes. “What do you want, Finn?” 

“I’m sorry, I was just wondering…. Do you actually know a real person named Dodger?”

Rory felt the blood drain out of her face. She turned around and walked back to Finn very slowly. “What?”

“Dodger. What the hell kind of name is that for a person? Your phone was buzzing off the hook and I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I dug it out of your purse to answer it, to tell whoever was harassing you to bugger off. The call display said ‘Dodger’. I picked it up and I said, ‘Hey mate, who decided to call you Dodger?’ He was very rude. He didn’t answer my question.”

“Finn. What did you say to him?”

“I asked him if Dodger was his actual name and I told him if he was looking for you, you were a little busy giving a sponge bath to your critically injured love slave.”

Colin burst out in uncontrollable laughter, nearly falling off his chair.

“Fucking bastards. Both of you!” Rory spat, storming away.

When she’d made it down to the lobby, Rory frantically pulled out her cell phone as she headed for her car. She had three missed calls, two voicemails and five text messages, all from Jess.

The first voicemail came in at twelve fifteen, only moments after she’d tossed her purse in the car. “Hey Ror, it’s me. Hope the wedding was fun. I can’t wait to hear about all of the craziness that I’m sure ensued. Call me when you get this.”

The next was from forty-five minutes later. “Did you fall asleep, or is the party still going strong? Alright, listen, I’m going to bed soon. I’ll try texting you again. If you’re not asleep yet, call me! I miss you. I hope you had a good time tonight.”

The third call came in at one fifteen, which must have been when Finn picked it up.

Rory was almost hyperventilating by the time she checked his texts, seeing that he’d sent the last one right after his second voicemail.

_Hey beautiful. I hope the wedding was fun. Did you forget to send me those pictures? I’ve been waiting very patiently for them… Call me._

_Did you get my message? I find it hard to believe that you fell asleep without checking in –but then again, you are at a wedding with a town full of weirdos, so stranger things have happened. If you’re still awake, call me._

_Just left you another message. I’m heading to bed soon. I know you’re only in Stars Hollow, but call me or I might start to worry –do you really want me to start thinking that you ran off with another member of Hep Alien?_

_Okay, I’ve delayed going to bed, waiting to hear from you. Seriously Rory. The wedding must be over by now. I know you too well to believe that you let your phone die. Where are you?_  
             
Rory, where the hell are you? I’m really starting to legitimately freak out here. Please just call me…

Rory was audibly sobbing by the time she shakily dialed Jess’ number. She didn’t know why she was surprised when he didn’t pick up –it was almost two in the morning. Nonetheless, after listening to his voice apologize for not being able to take the call, she started babbling –almost incoherently- to his answering machine.

“Jess, I’m so sorry! I had to drive to New York …. God, I know you don’t want to hear this…. but, Logan…. he… he went skydiving or something with his idiotic friends in Costa Rica and there was an accident. He must have told them to call me before… I don’t even know when. But they called right when I was about to phone you after Lane’s wedding and I got in the car and drove to New York. I had to make sure he was okay. I left my purse in the hall with his asshole friends when I went in to check on him. I’m sorry I never answered your calls or texts. I’m sorry for what Finn said to you. God, I’m just so sorry Jess.”

Through her haze of tears, Rory managed to find her way to her car. Siting down in the driver’s seat, she put her keys in the ignition but didn’t turn them. She sat, crying hysterically for at least five minutes. Taking another five to calm herself down, she stared at her purse on the passenger seat next to her, willing her phone to ring.

When it didn’t, she finally started her car. It was two o’clock in the morning and she was exhausted. Had her best friend really gotten married just this afternoon? Without even thinking about it, Rory drove south on the New Jersey turnpike towards the I-95, headed for Philadelphia.


	11. Chapter 11

If Jess wasn’t frantic before some Australian prick picked up Rory’s phone and mouthed off to him, he certainly was now. He’d only met Logan the one time, but once was enough; Jess was sure he’d gotten himself into a fantastic mess and dragged Rory into it. The ass hat who picked up Rory’s phone had to have been one of his friends. What did he say? Something about Rory “sponge bathing her critically injured love slave”? The only thing that could possibly mean was that Logan was hurt –badly.

Jess knew Rory well enough to know he could trust her, so he wasn’t worried that she’d go running back to Logan –not after what he did to her. After everything Rory had laid bare last weekend, Jess was sure of her feelings for him in a way that almost scared him; she was his center –everything always came back to Rory. She saved his life just as much as she had admitted that he had saved hers. He knew when they were younger they hurt each other all the time and they never got to a place where they could feel secure, because inevitably, something pulled them apart –Jess knew with painful clarity that it was almost always his doing that undid them. But this time things were different. He was completely secure in his feelings for Rory and the feelings she had for him. They’d stopped running; this was it. Rory would never betray him.  

If he was being totally honest with himself –despite only being ‘together’ for a week- he already knew he was in love with her. He’d been in love with her for years, ever since he called her from California and didn’t say a word –and yet she knew it was him. Jess winced at the memory, remembering how badly he wanted to speak but couldn’t make so much as a sound: _“Jess, is that you? Jess, I'm pretty sure it's you and I'm pretty sure you've been calling and not saying anything but wanna say something. Hello? You're not going to talk? Fine, I'll talk. You didn't handle things right at all. You could've talked to me. You could've told me that you were having trouble in school and weren't going to graduate, and that your dad had been there, but you didn't. And you ended up leaving without saying goodbye again. I think… I think I may have loved you, but I just need to let it go. So, that's it, I guess. Um, I hope you're good. I want you to be good, and, um, okay, so, goodbye. That word sounds really lame and stupid right now, but there it is. Goodbye.”_  

He’d been in love with her long before that even, but shit in his life hit the fan and he ran, screwing everything up. He didn’t know if whatever love she felt for him once was still inside her somewhere, but he rationalized that it must be, given the events of the past week. Even if she had to get there slowly, that was okay. He would wait –happily. He knew she would get there. He was one hundred percent confident that she felt it too –things were different this time.

But he also knew her well enough to know that if she found out Logan was injured, she would have gone straight to him. Logan may have betrayed her, but hating him for that and delighting in physical suffering were two very different things. Rory would never delight in someone else’s pain. She was the best person Jess had ever known; her compassion was unmatched. Without it, she would have kicked Jess to the curb years ago and never looked back.

Every positive Jess could think of was almost cancelled out by an equally negative counterpoint: Rory was safe, but she was alone dealing with her critically injured ex-boyfriend _and_ his idiot friends; Jess couldn’t fault Rory for caring enough to run right to his bedside, her limitless compassion was one of the things he loved most about her –no one was in high school anymore- and if there was one thing Jess never second guessed, it was Rory’s trustworthiness –but at the same time he was wracking his brain, trying to figure out what the hell could have happened that was bad enough to send Rory right to his side; then there was the issue of Jess not knowing _where_ she was safe, he had no idea what hospital, or even what state she might be in.

He couldn’t phone Luke, let alone Lorelai to ask if they knew anything because they’d agreed to keep their relationship to themselves for now. In the immediate and in the interest of giving themselves the best chance possible, it was a solid plan. But as soon as Jess looked past his own nose he saw that their pledge of privacy had several flaws –for one, they’d gone from zero to long distance couple in a week and if anything happened to either of them, no one would know to get in touch with the other. The tangential looped connection between Rory and Lorelai and Luke and Jess would ensure that nothing _too_ serious would happen without the other ever knowing, but Jess recoiled at the idea of being third in a very roundabout line.

Jess had been pacing his tiny apartment for nearly half an hour. Any hopes of sleep were immediately dashed when that belligerent fool picked up Rory’s phone. To calm his nerves, Jess decided to take a long, hot shower. He shoved his phone in the pocket of his suit jacket before shrugging it off and tossing it over the back of the couch, angrily yanking his tee shirt over his head and kicking his jeans off as he made his way into the bathroom. As soon as he shut the door and turned on the water, from inside his suit jacket pocket on the couch, his phone rang and rang before his answering machine intercepted the call.

When he got out of the shower, Jess pulled on a pair of sweatpants and made his way to the leather armchair next to the couch. He sat there for a long time, until he could recall with almost perfect clarity waking up to the feeling of Rory crawling into his arms and the two of them drifting off to sleep holding each other. By the time he recalled the memory a dozen times, he drifted off into a fitful sleep.

Jess was jolted out of his restless slumber by what sounded like a faint pounding below him. Blinking hard, he shook his head roughly, snapping himself out of it. “Shit,” he muttered to himself quietly when he realized he’d fallen asleep. Having no idea what time it was, he looked around, trying to remember what he’d done with his cell phone. When he saw his jacket folded over the back of the couch, his brain finally zeroed in. Standing up stiffly, Jess trudged over to retrieve it from his pocket. “Fuck,” he said through clenched teeth. It was almost four in the morning. His face shot back down to the tiny screen on his phone, which was blinking to tell him he had missed a call and that there was a message.

Impatiently flipping his phone open with such force that he almost snapped it in half, Jess was just about to listen to the message when he was distracted by another series of faint thumps, slightly louder and more persistent than before. Clenching a fist and gritting his teeth, he threw open his window and stuck his head out, preparing to unleash holy hell on whoever was making all the noise. Jess’ apartment was on the top floor of the Truncheon brownstone, with a window facing onto Locust Street, right above the front door. “Do you have any idea what fuckin’ time…” he started to yell.

Jess stopped dead. When he looked out the window, he saw a woman with long brown hair; even from three floors up, he could hear her crying. For about five seconds, he froze, certain he was hallucinating; he was still half asleep –it couldn’t be her.

His brain clicked into action before he’d rationalized himself out of believing the truth of what he saw. In an instant, he was wide-awake, all traces of lethargy gone in a snap. He ran to his apartment door so fast that he almost crashed into it; he could barely slow his momentum enough to wrench the door open. He made it into the hall in time to hear stirring from both Chris and Matthew’s apartments.  
              
“Man, what the hell? It’s like, four in the morning…” Matthew said with a yawn.

“Is that crazy person knocking on _our_ door?” Chris asked sleepily.

“Both of you just go back to bed. I’ve got this,” Jess said firmly. Both of his friends just stared at him. “I’m serious. Go!” he snapped.  
  
“Dude, don’t have a coronary,” Matthew said sighing, schlepping back into his apartment and shutting the door.

Jess glared at Chris without uttering another word until his friend backed up at a snail’s pace, slamming his door shut.

As soon as Chris’ door clicked shut, Jess flew down the stairs. In the few seconds it took him to reach the bottom and get to the front door, he was sweating profusely, despite not wearing a shirt. He inhaled and exhaled a breath before he opened the door. As he gripped the doorknob, his hand started to tremble; he took another exasperated breath and forced himself to calm down.

When Jess opened the door, Rory had her back turned on him –she couldn’t see him and she was in such a state that she probably didn’t even hear the door open. Jess could see that she had her arms wrapped tightly around herself and she was shaking violently, whether from the cold or her tears, he couldn’t tell. The sight of her like this twisted his heart into knots –and he couldn’t even see her face yet.

“Rory,” Jess said quietly. Inching forward with very small steps, he reached out to put a gentle hand on her back. His fingers had barely grazed her coat and she jumped, spinning around with such force that Jess had to lunge forward and extend his other arm to keep her from falling as she turned. In one swift movement, she twirled around into his waiting arm and he pulled her into him forcefully. He did this just as much for her benefit as for his own –to soothe her and to spare himself a few seconds before looking at her face and seeing the anguish that he knew would rip him apart.

Rory was crying with such force that all of her attempts to speak fell from her lips as gut-wrenching, incoherent sobs. She clumsily wrapped her arms around Jess’ neck, her cold fingers scrambling to find an anchor. Her icy hands sent a jolt through Jess’ system as she frantically roamed his bare back for something to cling to, to keep herself from collapsing on the spot. Unconsciously registering that he wasn’t wearing a shirt, Rory grasped the hair at the nape of his neck desperately.

Jess responded by tightening his grip around her as much as he could without hurting her. “Shhh, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m right here. You’re okay Rory. Everything’s okay,” he whispered into her hair, clenching his jaw against the lump rising in his own throat.  
  
“No, no, no, no, no. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Rory chocked out against Jess’ bare shoulder. When she opened her mouth to speak, a tiny string of spittle escaped with every word.

Jess closed his eyes and prepared himself. Slowly, he softened his hold on Rory enough to shift a fraction of an inch to duck his head and look at her face. He kept one hand strongly wrapped around her back and with the other he gently held her cheek. When he spoke, his voice was thick and unsteady. “Rory. Are you okay? Did anything happen to _you_?”

Rory shook her head vehemently and leaned into Jess, losing her balance in the process.

“Where did you drive from Rory? Where were you?” he asked, holding her upright so that she didn’t crumble to the ground at his feet.

“New York,” she sobbed.

“God, Rory. You drove all the way here after going straight to New York from Lane’s wedding? You’ve been up all night. Why would you do that?”

“You didn’t answer your phone!” Rory screamed.  
              
“I’m…”

“What? I’m sorry I went to New York, okay? Logan almost died jumping out of a fucking plane and I’m sorry that I went to New York and didn’t answer my phone. But he almost died! And then you didn’t pick up your phone and I… I…”

“You’re right. I’m sorry I didn’t pick up my phone Rory. I’m sorry sweet girl, I’m sorry."

“Don’t ever die, Jess. Please. If you… I can’t…” Rory cried, dissolving even further into tears.  
  
“I’ll do my best,” Jess said quietly, holding her even tighter. A tear fell from each of his eyes and were silently absorbed by Rory’s coat when they dripped off the edges of his jaw. He was glad for this because he didn’t want Rory to see him cry; this had nothing to do with his ego and everything to do with not wanting to shatter her into a million pieces. Rory wouldn’t be able to handle the sight of Jess crying right now –she could barely withstand the sobs tearing from her own chest.

Suddenly the wind picked up; goosebumps rose all over Jess’ skin. “Come on Ror, it’s cold out here. Let’s go inside.”

Without waiting for an answer, Jess picked Rory up and carried her inside, kicking the door shut behind him. Once inside his apartment, he sat her down on his bed and gently removed her high heels. After that, he carefully unbuttoned her coat and hung it delicately over a chair. He left her only briefly, to fish out an old pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt from a drawer.

“These will be too big, but they’ll be more comfortable to sleep in than your dress. Rory?” He crouched down in front of her when she didn’t answer and held her face lightly. Jess couldn’t stand to see her in so much pain –again. Twice in barely a week he’d carried her up to his apartment, doing his best to soothe her and calm her. Rory was the strongest, most resilient woman Jess had ever known. It killed him to see her so broken.

Slowly, Rory’s eyes focused. “I love you, Jess. I’m in love with you,” she said suddenly.

Jess’ eyes went wide and his heart skipped a beat –several, in fact.

“I know it’s probably too soon to say that. But I know what I feel; and really, it’s not soon, considering we’ve been dancing around it for years. This afternoon, Lane got married and then I found myself rushing to the hospital because Logan almost died. Logan cheated on me, he betrayed me and I hate him for that, but I would never want him to die.

“Life is short Jess. Too short. I don’t know what’s going to happen with us. I want us to last but I don’t actually know if we will and neither do you. But life is too short for me to know that I’m in love with you and waste any time not telling you. So I’m telling you. I’m in love with you. Okay?”  
  
“Okay,” Jess said softly, inching closer to her and placing a kiss against her forehead. “It’s a good thing, because I’m in love with you too, Rory.” Moving his mouth down, he kissed her full and wet on the lips.

The kiss was slow, languid, –no urgency, no battle. The only sound was their breath and the soft music made by their open mouths and gentle tongues. “I like your dress,” Jess said quietly as they pulled apart, “but you’re going to have to take it off. It’s too pretty to sleep in and you’re too exhausted to have anything get in the way of a decent rest. So, before I lose all my chivalry I’m begging you, please put these on,” he smirked, handing her his tee shirt and sweatpants, turning his back to let her change. After a minute, he asked tentatively, “Okay?”

“Okay,” Rory said quietly, already burrowing under the covers.

Jess slid into the bed and wrapped his arms around her. “I really do love you, Rory. So much,”

“I know. I’m sorry about tonight, I mean with Logan. I just…” Rory stammered.

“Hey, stop. I understand. You have nothing to apologize for.”

“But, I…”

“Rory, stop. Stop apologizing. That thing you can’t name, that you’re so sorry for? It’s one of the things I love most about you. Don’t think about that anymore right now. We’re both here. I promise, I will not be jumping out of planes any time soon or doing anything else that might take me away from you.”

“Good. Because I love you too much, I can’t lose you again,” Rory said as she drifted off to sleep with her head nestled against Jess’ shoulder.

“That makes two of us, Ror,” Jess whispered against her skin.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the story first earns its Mature rating. I didn't rate the entire fic as Explicit because as graphic as the sex is and continues to be, this is not a sex-centric fic. I never intended this to be a smut story. It's a love story with graphic sex scenes. The chapters with sex in them are explicit, fair warning. I don't want to put an Explicit warning in the notes before every chapter with a sex scene because I don't want to give away every time they have sex; as it is, I've already given you a heads up before the first time you read it, which obviously is their first time, which ruins the surprise. I will say that it took me almost a year to write this fic, which is a legit novel, so I'll be updating quickly, because I'm only three chapters shy of reaching the end in writing it. In what will end up being seventy-six chapters, this is the only time where sex is the focus of an entire chapter. There's a slight chance that one of my chapters that has yet to be written may be heavy on sex, but sex won't be the focus of the whole chapter, as this one is.

When Rory woke up a few hours later, Jess’ bedroom was cast in a grey-blue predawn haze. She slipped out of bed quietly and snuck into the bathroom. Putting the plug in the sink, she let it fill with water, warm enough that she could see steam cascade off the surface and disappear into the air. Taking a deep breath, Rory dunked her head under the water and forced her eyes open, darting them back and forth. Dragging her face out of the sink she took another deep breath before sticking her hands in the water and reaching for the soap to her right, turning it rapidly between her wet fingers until they were filled with slippery suds. She scrubbed her face roughly until her skin stung and her arms burned from exertion. Dunking her head back in the sink with a thud, she rubbed her face clean under the water. Rory’s head shot up out of the sink and she inhaled sharply before staring into the water, now murky and clouded with sweat, tears and remnants of her makeup. Releasing the plug, she watched the fluid twist down the drain before reaching for a towel to dry her face.

Slowly opening the bathroom door, Rory crept back into the bedroom. She stopped abruptly just as she was about to crawl back under the covers. Her breath hitched at the sight of Jess lying on his back, sound asleep with the covers tossed back, only covering one of his legs.

Even though she knew the man lying before her, it was as though looking at him now, Rory saw for the first time how beautiful he was: his skin was perfectly smooth; his arms and shoulders were muscular and defined and perfectly proportionate, there was no mistaking their strength; she’d never noticed before how defined his chest was –the subtle curve of his pecs and the small indentations that ran across his collarbone and down his sternum; each muscle of his abdominals was clearly distinct, she could see the ripples even as he slept; he had a small trail of dark hair that ran from under his navel and disappeared underneath his sweatpants, in the center of a perfect V formed by his abdominals and obliques.

Rory turned her attention to his face, calm and serene. She noticed his nose, the perfect arch in his dark eyebrows, the beautiful contour of his cheeks, how his jaw started wide and narrowed perfectly under his chin, the subtle hollow under his bottom lip, just above his exquisite mouth, with its unique crookedness that made it so alluring. His closed eyes were fluttering softly in his sleep and his right arm was resting above his head. A lock of his dark hair fell carelessly across his face, moving softly every time he exhaled.

Rory felt her eyes well up with tears. This beautiful man loved her; he always had. For all of the things he’d done to hurt her, his love for her could never be denied, even if he didn’t always know how to show it. Rory was always the one who was unsure of her feelings. Jess was always sure –Rory was the only woman in the world. Inhaling sharply, Rory hated herself for denying it for so long. Exhaling a shaky breath, she crawled into bed and pressed her face into Jess’ shoulder, reaching her arm around his stomach and hugging herself tightly against him. A few tears escaped her eyes and fell onto his skin and he woke up slowly, feeling the dampness left in their wake.

“Rory?” he said sleepily. “Hey. What is it? What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” Rory said with a sniffle.

“Ror, you can’t cry on my shoulder and then say ‘Nothing’. Look at me. What is it?”  
             
Rory propped her chin up on Jess’ chest. “I just… I love you so much. I always have. I don’t know why I ran away from it for so long.”

“You probably ran away from it because I was always running away from you,” Jess said simply, running his fingers through her damp hair. His brown eyes were pained as he offered this perfectly reasonable explanation that he’d already accepted as the truth. “It’s always been you, Rory. For me, I mean. There’s never been anybody but you, not really. Before you, no one gave a shit about me, and then you…. That scared me and I didn’t know what to do with it, so I ran. A lot. I always hurt you before you hurt me.”

“Well, let’s stop now, okay?”

Jess kissed the top of Rory’s head and propped a finger under her chin, turning to look at her. “I love you, Rory. I won’t hurt you like that again. Please believe that.”

Rory brought her hand up to cradle Jess’ face and kissed him. She was gentle at first, but as their mouths opened and she felt his tongue dart into hers and sweep across her teeth, something inside of her finally gave way. Her hand moved slowly from his face up into his hair; she threaded her fingers though it and held his head firmly, deepening their kiss as she shifted herself until they rolled slightly and she was straddling him.

Instantly, Jess sat up and snaked his arm around her back, slipping his hand under the loose shirt he’d given her, allowing his fingers to blindly explore.

Just like when he’d first touched her leg the week before, Rory felt like she was on fire. But this time it was even more delicious –it was just skin on skin. She sighed into Jess’ mouth and kissed him greedily.

Jess was shocked by Rory’s sudden urgency. When their kiss left them gasping and they finally pulled apart, Jess used the brief reprieve to search her eyes and make sure this was really what she wanted.

“What?” Rory asked breathlessly when she saw the way Jess was staring at her.

His arm was still holding strong to her bare back. He could feel himself hardening more and more with every second she sat straddling his lap; he thanked God that his sweatpants were loose and he’d neglected to put on underwear after his shower. “Rory,” Jess said slowly, “are you sure this is what you want? We don’t have to do this now. I mean we can wait. You’ve had a long –”

Rory cut him off, kissing him fiercely, taking his bottom lip into her mouth and sucking until he gave in and kissed her back. Releasing his lips, she moved her hands to his face and held it between her palms. “I want this Jess. I love you. I want you.” Pulling her palms down his jaw, she slowly relinquished her hold on his face and crossed her arms, gripping the hem of the tee shirt and pulling it off. She tossed it aside; the only thing left covering her breasts was the black lace pushup bra she’d chosen especially to go under her bridesmaid’s dress. She giggled to herself as she remembered that she was also still wearing the matching black satin panties.  
  
Jess’ jaw went slack. “Jesus Christ, Rory,” he whispered huskily. “What’s so funny?” he asked when he saw her continuing to giggle.

“I don’t know,” she teased mischievously.  
  
“Are you sure about that… ?” he tightened his grip on her and used his free hand to knead one of her breasts gently through her bra.  
  
“Mmmmhmmm…” Rory whimpered, her head falling back.  
             
“Have it your way, Gilmore,” Jess said with a sigh, continuing to work her breast with his hand. “But I’m going to make you regret teasing me.”  
  
“Mmm, yes please.”

With one last tug, Jess released Rory’s breast and wrapped both his arms around her back, kissing her hot and wet on the lips. The instant their mouths met, Rory’s hands eagerly grabbed his hair in two greedy fistfuls. Without breaking their kiss Jess slowly inched her back until her spine arched into his palms, laying her on her back with a gentle thud.

Hovering above her, Jess broke away from Rory’s mouth and trailed gentle, biting kisses down one side of her neck, across her collarbone, in the hollow of her throat and up the other side. He intended to take his time.

Rory kept her fingers threaded through Jess’ hair while he worked magic on her skin. She was aware that she was already whimpering, despite not even being exposed yet.

When Jess’ hands found their way to her bra straps, he hooked a finger under each and gently moved them down. Rory started breathing rapidly –gasping for air due to panic rather than pleasure.

Jess noticed the change in her immediately. He moved his hands to brush softly against her cheeks. As was becoming a habit, he gently pecked her nose to sooth her. “Breathe, Rory,” her eyes were closed and Jess needed her to open them. “Look at me,”

Rory opened her eyes wide. The room was still shrouded in semi-darkness, so her pupils were dilated and large. She relaxed slightly at Jess’ loving touch. He was being so patient and gentle. Surely he must be feeling the same overwhelming emotions that she was, but if he did, he didn’t betray a thing in this moment –his only concern was to relax her.  
  
Jess smiled when he saw Rory’s beautiful blue eyes. “Hi,”  
  
“Hi,” Rory whispered.

“I’m right here with you, Ror. I feel it too. We’re in this together. I am not letting go of your face, or doing anything else until you’re ready, okay?”

Rory nodded wordlessly.

“Breathe,” Jess repeated. “I’ve got you,”

“I’m okay Jess, really. I’m just a little…”

“Overwhelmed.”

“Yeah,”

“Believe me, I am too.” Jess leaned down slowly and kissed her forehead. “Odds are, I’m going to have the exact same moment you’re having right now –at some point. When I get overwhelmed I’ll need you to help me. Will you do that?”

Rory reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. “Of course,” she whispered.  
  
“This is you and me. It took us a long time to get here. You’re allowed to be overwhelmed. But I’m in this with you. We’re in this together.”

Jess smiled crookedly and leaned down to kiss her lips tenderly. Her bra straps all but forgotten, he continued to cradle her face and look nowhere but into her eyes until he felt her relax. “I love you Rory, more than you could possibly understand.”  
  
“I do understand Jess. I feel the same way about you,” Rory said.  
  
“Okay then,” he whispered. The corners of his mouth curled into a beautiful, warm crooked smile before kissing her lips again, with more passion this time. As Rory melted into his mouth, Jess slowly slid his hands from her face to under her arms and around her back, until she was nestled between his forearms. With one hand he gently massaged her scalp, while his other roamed up and down her back. When his fingers found the clasp of her bra, he stopped, pausing to press his forehead against hers.

Rory stroked Jess’ cheek, coaxing him to open his eyes. When he looked at her, she bit her lip and gave a tiny nod. Silently, Jess squeezed the clasp between his fingers; when it popped open, he removed it from her skin slowly and didn’t let his gaze wander anywhere –their eyes locked, darkness seeking light, light searching out the dark.

“You’re beautiful, Rory,” Jess whispered, stroking the side of her face with his left hand.  
  
Rory leaned her head up to search out his lips. The kiss became more urgent and Jess sighed into her mouth, though he was careful not to lay his weight on her just yet. He flexed his strong arms in order to keep their chests from touching. If he let himself rest on her, if he felt her nipples graze his bare skin, he would lose it. As Rory relaxed, her legs opened slightly and Jess’ hips unconsciously ground into her gently, becoming desperate for friction.  
  
Rory’s lips quivered into Jess’ mouth as he rocked against her. She felt the pressure within her starting to build. She wondered briefly if Jess could feel, even though her sweatpants, how wet she was.

Jess brought his free hand up to tangle his fingers into her hair. After a few seconds, Rory covered his hand with hers and intertwined their fingers. Slowly she guided his hand down until his palm covered her breast. When Jess felt her nipple graze against the skin of his hand, he moaned softly into Rory’s mouth. He pulled away to watch her guide his touch, encouraging him to grasp her firmly. The sight of Rory showing him how to touch her was one of the most erotic things Jess had ever seen. He couldn’t resist releasing his right arm from her back to give equal attention to her other breast because, God forbid it be left neglected…

Rory inhaled a sharp breath as he grasped her. Jess couldn’t help but grin against her skin as he moved his mouth down to trail kisses along her neck. Slowly, he continued trailing kisses down her body, once again stopping to place a searing kiss against the soft skin in the hollow of her throat –Rory arched her back slightly and let out a soft sigh.

As Jess continued trailing hot kisses down her neck and across her shoulders, he paused slightly, knowing what came next. Her breasts felt amazing, her nipples hardening with every gentle squeeze. But that wasn’t enough; he wanted to taste them.

Jess was slowly beginning to understand that the need he felt for her would never be satiated. His need for her was about so much more than sexual desire.

Jess continued to suck on her skin gently as he moved down from her collarbone, kissing every unique and subtle indentation of her sternum, moving his hands to sweep across her stomach and up between her breasts. He made sure to hold her gaze for a few seconds before slowly taking her nipple into his mouth. He couldn’t believe how good she tasted. His tongue to darted out to lick it in lazy circles. He caught it between his teeth and pulled it softly.

“Oh God, Jess,” Rory whispered, her voice thick with desire.

Jess had fantasized about hearing Rory whisper his name that way. Knowing that he could elicit such wonton desire felt very fitting; after all the pain he’d caused, he was able to make up for it by making her feel all-consuming desire. He smiled against her breast, her nipple still between his teeth. Eventually he kissed his way across her chest and gave her right breast equal attention.

The longer he teased her, the bolder she got, holding his head between her hands, encouraging him to nip more sharply, suck more firmly. Soon, he could taste the salt in her sweat and see the glossy sheen it left all over her skin. Jess was thankful that Rory’s boldness was, for the time being, contained to encouraging the things he did to her –as soon as her hands started to roam, he was going to unravel fast.

Eventually Jess found his way back up to Rory’s mouth. The way he kissed her mouth was different, now that he’d tasted other parts of her. He was persistent, unyielding in a way that he hadn’t been before. He wasn’t rough or forceful, but he was most definitely possessive. At long last, Rory was Jess’ girl; she chose him, she wanted him as badly as he wanted her. He was never letting her slip through his fingers again.

Slowly Rory’s hands found their way under Jess’ arms and she began roaming his back, dragging her fingernails down his perfect skin until he inhaled sharply through his nose and moaned into her mouth, rocking his hips into her more urgently than before. Rory whimpered at the sensation, bucking her hips up to meet his involuntarily. She was starting to feel that indescribable tickle that went hand-in-hand with her wetness.  
  
When Rory’s fingers found their way under the waistband of Jess’ pants, he pulled his lips away from hers and let out a tiny hiss as her hands explored his bare ass. She bit her bottom lip and smiled seductively as she discovered that the cheeks on his face weren’t the only things with beautiful contours.  
  
“What did I say about teasing me?” Jess asked lowly.

“I really can’t remember,” Rory said breathily as she ran her fingers blindly over every curve of his hips, feeling her way across all the muscles she admired while he slept. When her hand found his length, she stopped for a fraction of a second before grasping it tentatively and stroking it up and down. She owed her boldness to the fact that he was still wearing sweatpants. In this moment, blindness was bliss.

“Rory,” Jess murmured softly. His pupils dilated and he started to tremble.

Rory recognized what was happening. She softened her grasp and brought her other hand up to stroke his cheek and brush his hair away from his face. She leaned up and pressed her forehead against his. “I know, Jess. You and me remember? I’m right here. I’ve got you,”

Jess let out a strangled laugh at her unintended pun.

Rory realized it too and giggled.

Slowly, he relaxed into her touch and started bucking his hips forward. Rory took this as encouragement and her grip became firmer, her strokes more rhythmic. Jess twisted his fingers into her hair and pulled slightly, suddenly needing to find an anchor of his own.  
             
“Rory, please,” he breathed. Jess retreated from her and Rory whimpered at the loss. “Maybe you shouldn’t tell me how you got so good at that. If you keep it up, I won’t last. And I want to savour this.” He placed a warm kiss on her forehead and pushed back onto his knees. “Stay,”

“Where are you go-” Rory’s mouth fell open when she saw Jess’ erection through his pants.

“Like I said. You’re freakishly good at what you just did there,” Jess said with a crooked smile. He backed up further and swung his feet onto the floor.

“If you liked it so much then where are you going?”

“I told you. You’re going to regret teasing me, Gilmore. Now stay. Take off your pants while I’m gone.”

Rory was all too happy to oblige. Jess ordering her to discard them was enough for her to feel a pool between her legs.

Jess returned a second later, holding an ice cube. He stopped short at the sight before him. Rory was lying on his bed, bare breasted and heaving, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, wearing nothing but black satin bikini-string panties.

“Holy shit, do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?” Jess asked. “ _That’s_ what was so funny huh?” he said, pointing to her underwear. “They are unbelievably sexy, but they look pretty useless to me,” he grinned at her evilly and showed her the ice cube before popping it into his mouth. “Payback time.”

Jess crawled up the bed, inching his way up between her legs. Reaching the tops of her thighs, he held her hips gently and closed his eyes briefly to steady himself. He traced his finger lightly against the thin straps, tickling every curve and hollow of her hips. Very gently, he moved a palm down to cup her; he could smell her arousal and feel how wet she was. When she arched into him with a soft moan, he thought he would come right there. Very slowly, he curled his fingers around the edges of her panties and pulled them down gently until Rory’s feet were released and he tossed them aside.

Jess clenched his jaw at the sight of Rory’s delicate lips and the short, soft, expertly trimmed hair that covered her sex. “Absolutely beautiful,” Jess whispered, close enough that his cold breath tickled her skin.

The ice cube in his mouth had melted into a tiny ball, just as he planned. Jess couldn’t help but tremble as he delicately caressed her hot lips with his cold tongue, working to coax them apart softly.

This time it was Rory who hissed, “Oh fuck, Jess!” Her hips started bucking wildly, begging for more –firmer, harder contact.

Finding her clit, he gently sucked it before taking it between his teeth, pulling on it softly. Soon he found his way down to her entrance. Jess licked the full length of her before confidently darting his ice cold tongue into her.

Rory was thrashing wildly in a matter of seconds, her hands reaching to tangle into his hair as she screamed. The opposing sensations of heated desire and the cold jolt of the ice cube in Jess’ mouth were absolutely intoxicating. It was most intense thing Rory had ever felt in her life.

In the midst of her thrashing, Jess entered her with one finger and then two, pumping in and out of her slowly and then more firmly until he could feel her wetness spread. When her wetness was at the brink of spilling over, he withdrew his fingers from inside her and she pulled him up to her roughly.

Digging her nails into his shoulder, Rory kissed Jess with such abandon that her life could have depended on it. He let her pull his hair so roughly that it felt like she might tear it out; he finally let himself align his body with hers and lay his weight on her. When she sighed into his mouth and wrapped her legs around his back to lock them together, he was spinning and delirious with desire.  
  
“Where the fuck did you learn _that_?” Rory panted as they continued to grind their hips.  
  
Jess smirked, cocking an eyebrow. “I told you, you would regret all that teasing. I’m not one for empty threats.” He leaned into her and put his mouth to her ear. “You taste amazing,” he whispered.  
  
Rory responded by bucking her hips up wildly and tightening her legs around Jess’ back, running her heels roughly against his spine.

“I think it’s time for you to take your pants off too. If you don’t, you’re just mean,” Rory said breathlessly.

Jess held her face and smiled against her lips. Slowly, he inched off of her and moved to stand at the foot of the bed. Rory followed him, as if by an unseen force –as he released her she sat up, kneeling on the edge of bed as he stood. Her breaths were quick and shallow; her eyes heavy with desire.

“Do I need to get anything else while I’m up?” Jess asked, his voice cracking slightly.

Rory shook her head. “I’m protected,” she said, staring at the hardness tenting his pants.

Jess caught her staring and winked seductively before yanking his pants down and kicking them away.

Rory’s eyes wandered up to the trail of dark hair that started under his navel and she followed it down. She’d never found penises particularly attractive –they were in fact very weird looking. She’d always believed that females definitely got the better end of the deal when it came to the naked form. But the sight of Jess before her instantly made her change her mind. He was perfect. She was reminded of all the naked male statues she’d seen in various museums –they had nothing on Jess. Rory bit her bottom lip and let out an unconscious whimper. “You’re… beautiful, Jess,” she said sincerely.

Jess smiled warmly and crawled back up the bed, aligning his body with hers. Rory opened her legs and wrapped them around Jess’ back. He aligned his tip with her entrance and they both looked down briefly, the sight before them taking their breaths away. Jess rocked forward slightly, allowing his length to slide against her lips, careful not to enter her just yet.

Rory whimpered at the sensation and Jess clenched his jaw. Leaning down so that their foreheads pressed together and the tips of their noses touched, Jess kissed Rory passionately. At the same instant that his tongue swept into her mouth, he pushed inside of her. She whimpered into his mouth and he groaned into hers, both of their bottom lips quivering simultaneously.

When their kiss broke, they were both panting desperately. As Jess opened his eyes to look at Rory, tears clouded his vision and spilled down his cheeks. Rory silently reached up and placed her palms on his face, wiping his tears away with her thumbs as he had done for her so many times. As she did, tears escaped her own eyes, trailing sideways down her cheeks and tickling her ears.

As their trembling started to subside, Jess started moving in her slowly; he pulled back slightly and rocked back into her gently, allowing himself to plunge deeper until their hips were flush. Rory tightened her legs around his back, unwilling to release him.

Rory was warm and tight around him and Jess could barely breathe, she felt so amazing. He filled her completely; their bodies fit together perfectly. Unable to stay still any longer, he started to thrust into her gently, the muscles in his ass flexing with every little jerk.

Soon, Rory started to moan. It was the most delicious sound Jess had ever heard. “Mmmm. More, Jess, please,” she panted softly, loosening her thighs with every little push he made.

“God… Rory,” Jess chocked out. He kissed her mouth fiercely as he withdrew himself almost completely before thrusting back into her more forcefully, causing their damp skin to stick together and make soft slapping noises every time they came together.

Rory whimpered again and twisted her fingers in Jess’ hair. She started bucking her hips up to meet his thrusts. As they found their rhythm, Jess quickened his movements and soon he was pounding in and out of her desperately. “You feel so good around me,” he whispered.

Suddenly, Jess sat back and pulled Rory with him. As he leaned back and pulled her up, in an instant Rory was in his lap, her long legs wrapped around his hips and locked behind his back. The new angle allowed Jess to be even deeper within her, hitting new sweet spots inside her.  
  
“Oh God, Jess,” Rory panted into his shoulder. They were pressed together tightly, their chests heaving together with every movement.

Jess wrapped his arms around Rory’s back and pulled her closer, grunting with every jerk of his hips. “It’s like… I can’t… get close enough,” he murmured against her before moving his lips down to suck on her neck.

Rory dug her fingers into Jess’ back, firmly exploring all of its subtle indentations. She trailed biting kisses up and down his neck and across his shoulder, trying to stifle her moans.

Jess’ hands found their way to Rory’s hips. With one hand, he gripped her tightly and he let the other slide further down and curve around the top of her ass. Soon their rhythm picked up and became frantic; Jess was pounding into her, sliding in and out with ease. He was getting close.  
  
The tension within Rory was slowly building, itching deliciously as the pressure twisted her tighter. Soon, she would snap. Feeling Jess grip her, pulling her onto him forcefully sent her spinning. Suddenly, everything around her was humming.  
  
Their breaths became shallow and ragged together and as their movements picked up they pulled apart slightly to look at each other. Rory came first, Jess’ name falling from her lips halfway between a sigh and a sob.  
  
Feeling Rory tighten around him sent Jess over the edge, experiencing pleasure the likes of which he didn’t know existed. With a few more thrusts he followed her, muttering her name softly, over and over against her skin.  
  
Once they had both come down, Jess softened his grip and kissed Rory’s forehead. “That was…”

“Yeah,”

Jess moved his hands and held her face tenderly, “Here we are,” he said softly.

Rory smiled at his familiar words. “Yeah, here we are.”

“Whatever else happens between us, at least we know that part works,” he laughed quietly. “I love you, Rory.”

Rory felt a lump rise in her throat and as her eyes glazed over with tears, Jess kissed her gently and carefully moved her off of him so that she nestled into his side.

“I love you too, Jess.”

“You know, when we agreed to wait, I really thought we’d last longer than a week. I’m not sure a week counts as ‘waiting’.”

“It was a big week,”

“Yeah,” Jess started running his fingers through Rory’s hair. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Rory said quietly, pecking Jess’ chest.

Jess paused before asking, “Is Logan gonna be okay?”

“Really? We just had crazy, intense sex and you’re asking about Logan?”

“Listen, I still think he’s a dick. I’m not asking you to tell me his life story or his many childhood traumas. But you showed up at my door and crumbled at my feet because whatever state he’s in scared the shit out of you. He’s a dick, but that doesn’t mean I want him dead.”

“You’re really sweet, you know that?”

“Don’t you dare tell anyone.”

“I think he’ll be fine… eventually. I didn’t really ask a lot of questions. I mean I tried to at first, but they wouldn’t tell me anything.”

“How did you even know anything happened?”  
  
Rory looked up at him. “Didn’t you get my entirely hysterical message?”  
  
“No. I was about to listen to it when I was distracted by an entirely hysterical _you_.”  
  
Rory kissed his shoulder. “I don’t know, I guess he never changed his emergency contacts. A nurse called me right when I was about to call you.”  
  
Jess looked down at Rory and took her face in his hands. “Ror, we have to tell people about us. If anything happens…”  
  
Rory’s breathing sped up and her cheeks grew hot in Jess’ palms.

“Rory. Breathe. God knows the last thing I want is for either of us to be lying in a hospital bed anytime soon. But if anything happens, whether its next month or six months from now, I want you by my side. I want to be by yours. People have to know. If something happens to you,” Jess clenched his jaw, “if something happens to you, I don’t want to hear about it from Luke who heard about it from your mom. If something happens to you, I want to know first. Or, second I guess. Thinking I can eclipse your mom that fast is foolish.”  
  
“Jess,”

“And if anything happens to me, the list pretty much begins and ends with Luke anyway. But if anything happens, I want you rushing there with him. I want you to beat him to me. I want you there first. Okay?”

“Okay,” Rory said quietly. She knew he was right.

“When I come to New Haven to visit you next week, we can go to Stars Hollow together.”

“Seriously?”

“I know that I will live to severely regret suggesting this, but yes. I’m not saying I’m going to drop in on the entire town and try to become the prodigal son that none of them wanted. I’m saying we go there, for an afternoon, to tell your mom and Luke.”

“You do realize that it will definitely not be that easy, right?”  
  
“I am aware,” Jess sighed. “You see what loving you does to me Gilmore? Our relationship is barely a week old and I’m volunteering to get tarred and feathered.”

Rory cackled loudly. “You’re adorable.”

“Harumph,” Jess scowled.  
             
“Sorry Mariano. No amount of ‘harumph-ing’ from you eclipses the adorable.”  
             
“It’s a good thing I love you.” They locked eyes and kissed passionately. When their breathing became heavy, Jess pulled away slowly. He looked out his window and was shocked to see how light it was outside. “I suppose, now that I’ve ravaged you and we’ve had a rather intense conversation, I should make you breakfast?”  
  
Rory closed her eyes and smiled against his skin. “Mmm, man of my dreams…”  
  
“Because the sex was hot or because I’m offering to make you food?”

“The food, obviously,” Rory said seriously.

“Don’t make me hurt you,” Jess said, cocking an eyebrow and grabbing her, rolling her over until he was on top of her.  
             
“I’ll let you,” she whispered into his ear, becoming breathless as she felt the weight of Jess on top of her. An involuntary moan escaped Jess lips and Rory leaned up to kiss him hard on the mouth. She broke away as she felt his erection graze her thigh. “After you make me food,”

Jess clenched his jaw and kissed her forehead. “You’re gonna pay for this, you know.”  
  
“I’m counting on it,” Rory smiled, admiring his backside as he rolled out of bed and picked up his sweatpants, slipping them on as he disappeared into the kitchen.


	13. Chapter 13

“Tell me again why I said we had to do this?” Jess asked Rory as they drove towards Stars Hollow from New Haven.

“Because you love me. And because after an emotional sexual experience you had an epiphany that keeping our relationship secret was a bad idea; if anything should happen, you want us to be at each other’s sides first and that entails telling people. Very sound logic,” Rory stated.

“For the record, I had that epiphany before the sex –before you even showed up at my front door, in fact. And if you tell anyone, ever, that I cried during sex…” Jess shot her a sideways glance and cocked an eyebrow as he drove.

“Your secret dies with me,” Rory said sincerely, taking his free hand and lacing their fingers together.

Rory had told Lorelai that she would be coming home for a visit that Friday afternoon, and Jess told Luke the same. The latter was more surprising, instantly piquing Luke’s curiosity considering how much Jess loathed Stars Hollow and the fact that he’d just seen his nephew two weeks ago. Rory and Jess were extremely intelligent people, but so were Luke and Lorelai.

Jess and Rory were both bundles of nerves as they approached Stars Hollow. Jess decided they’d take his car, because no one would recognize it. They were going to drive to Rory’s house and duck in quickly, hoping to avoid being seen by anyone who wasn’t Luke or Lorelai. Little did they know, that mother and uncle started putting two and two together as soon as the phone calls were made.

“So, did you tell Paris?” Jess asked as they approached the outskirts of town.

“Yup. She’s taking a lot of credit for our newfound bliss.”

“Why?” Jess asked with a chortle.

“Because, when I first broke up with Logan, Paris was the first person I talked to about how I _really_ ended up back at Yale. She was insufferable in demanding that I talk to you. She said if I didn’t, she’d drive me to Philadelphia herself and lock us in a room.” Rory said, squeezing Jess’ hand.

“Ah, so, basically, we’re indebted to her for the rest of our natural lives.”

“Basically. I also had to do some gravelling, for not telling her about your open house the instant I got your invitation.”

“Yikes. How was she, on a scale of one to insane?”

“Insane at first, but she mellowed after she found out how well it went,” Rory said with a smile. “I’m indebted to her more than you are. But make no mistake, we’re both roped.”

“Sorry, but I’m a little relieved that you owe her more than I do. Although I’d happily fight with her about Kerouac any day of the week.”

“That might be another thing you live to regret saying, but I’ll pass the message along.”

“So, It’s Friday…” Jess started.

“Yes. All day…” Rory answered quizzically.

“Are Friday night dinners with your grandparents still a thing?”

“Yeah, Mom and I will be going tonight. But Jess, you don’t have to come….”

“Oh fuck no. Of course I’m not coming. I’m logical, not delusional Rory,” Jess said with a laugh. “I only meant… do they know you broke up with Logan?”

“Yeah, but they don’t know why. They’re none too happy about it. I’m pretty sure they had our wedding all planned out, right down to the place settings. He was the Golden Boy…”

Jess’ mouth twisted into a scowl.

“Jess, I didn’t mean…” Rory said when she saw his eyes grow dark.

“I know,” Jess said slowly, giving her a hand a reassuring squeeze. He let out an exasperated sigh. “I do not want this to happen any time soon, but we’ll need to tell them too, eventually. Preferably before they try to put you and dickhead back together or take it upon themselves to play matchmaker to find you another ‘appropriate suitor’,” he sneered.

“I know. But that’s a me thing. Not an us thing. I will tell them and you are not expected to show your face until I do and they promise to be civil. And even then, your appearances are allowed to be sparse. They’re my grandparents Jess, not yours.”

“I’m aware of that. I’m with you, but that means your family’s part of the package. Your mom, I think I have a decent chance of gaining respect from, eventually. But your grandparents are part of that package too, Rory. I’m not saying I’ll help your grandmother plan tea parties or go golfing with your grandfather, but I can’t be with you and never have anything to do with them.”

Rory looked at Jess, genuinely taken aback. “Where’s this coming from?”

Jess shrugged it off. “Just something Luke said to me once. But listen, by all means, take your time with telling them. Seriously. Again: logical, not delusional –it’s an important distinction.”

Rory smiled and leaned over to kiss his hand. “Duly noted.”

Jess took a deep breath as he turned in to Lorelai’s driveway. “You ready?”

“Let’s do it,” Rory said. “Wait,”

“Ror, we’ve already gone over this. You’ve reminded me of my brilliant logic. It’ll be okay, I promise. I think. I hope. We’ll get through this. Save the hesitation for talking to your grandparents, that’ll be a harder conversation and I can’t help you with that one.”

“No, it’s not that. Look,” Rory said, pointing, “isn’t that Luke’s truck? What’s he doing here? You didn’t tell him to meet you _here,_ did you?”

“No. But why wouldn’t his truck be here? He’s engaged to your mom. Doesn’t he practically live here anyway?”

“Well, yeah, I guess. But it’s Friday afternoon. The diner will be packed. He should be there.”

“This town is absurdly tiny. Maybe he walked to the diner this morning.”

“He may practically live here Jess, but a lot of his stuff is still in his apartment above the diner. If he leaves his truck anywhere, he’d leave it there, not here.”

“Hm. The plot thickens. Shall we try to solve the mystery, Nancy Drew?” Jess winked as he got out of the car.

Before they ascended the steps to the house, they embraced lovingly. When they pulled apart, Jess held Rory’s chin, delicately fitting his thumb into the groove that ran down its center and kissed her head quickly before letting go. He did this so that he could appear calm when in fact, Jess could feel his heartbeat in his ears. This was Rory’s house; the conversation with Lorelai would end up being an almost moot point when she saw him with her daughter.

“Mom?” Rory called as she opened the door.

Lorelai’s voice was distant. “Kitchen!”

Rory and Jess exchanged a look, preparing themselves for two things –Lorelai seeing Jess and the fact that Lorelai was in the kitchen.

“I swear to God Ror, if I have to singlehandedly save your mother and your house from burning to a crisp, she better damn well start calling me ‘son’ and convince Taylor to give me a key to Mayberry,” Jess whispered.

“I thought you had no interest in being the Prodigal Son, Dodger? And I thought you hated Stars Hollow, so why would you ever want a key?” Rory teased.

“Shut up,” Jess said, hugging her quickly before following her to the kitchen.

Rory and Jess both stopped short when they entered the kitchen to find Lorelai and Luke sitting at the table together.

“Hi, kids!” Lorelai said warmly.

“Hi, Mom,” Rory said slowly.

“Aw come on Jess, don’t be shy. If you don’t want to say hi to me, at least say hi to your uncle here.”

“Hi, Lorelai,” Jess said cautiously. He turned to his uncle, “Hey, Luke.”

“Hey there, recently-reformed-wayward nephew. What’s new?” Luke said with a smirk.

“Not much,” Jess offered, a little confused.

“Oh come on now, that’s clearly not true. You used to be a better liar you know. Hi Rory!”

“Hi, Luke,” Rory said with a slight nod.

“Come on Jess. You walk into Rory’s house, with Rory, I ask you what’s new and you say ‘Not much’? You wrote a whole friggen book, you’d think you would have learned how to use words with more than one syllable by now.

‘Not much’ my ass. You lived here for two years and you hated it and all the sudden you call me last week after being gone for over a year to tell me you’re going to visit? I wasn’t born yesterday, kid.”

“Okay. Are we in trouble or something?” Jess asked, even more confused.

“No, of course not!” Lorelai said with a smile. “Come, sit!”

Slowly, Rory and Jess moved into the kitchen. Rory sat down beside Lorelai. Jess sat down across from them, beside Luke. Neither Rory nor Jess opened their mouths to explain. Rory stared at her hands and Jess sighed, slouching in his chair.

“So, this is, what? Round two, now? Three? Four?” Lorelai asked, gesturing between them. “I lost count after the second time he left.”

“Mom!” Rory snapped.

“I’m sorry kid. Old habits,”  
              
“Yeah, you two are ones to talk,” Jess said, rolling his eyes.

“Hey, watch it mister,” Luke warned.

“Oh for God’s sake Luke, get your finger out of my face. I’m not seventeen and skipping school anymore.”

“Stop!" Rory yelled. “This is ridiculous. We’re all adults here. No one’s in trouble and you two have obviously figured us out. Can we stop snapping at each other? Jess and I are together. Okay? Yes. We’re together.”

“Is that why you were in Philadelphia?” Lorelai asked Rory.

“No that isn’t _why_ I was in Philadelphia. I mean yes, I went to Philadelphia because Jess invited me to his event but no, we weren’t together when I went there.”

“So this is new then. Like, really new. As in, two weeks?” Luke asked.  
              
“Yup,” Jess said.

“Huh. And you haven’t changed your mind yet? Wow, I’m impressed, Jess. Especially considering you didn’t have to break up a relationship to get her. Or did you?” Lorelai asked scathingly.

“Wow, real mature Lorelai,” Jess said sarcastically.

“STOP!” Rory screamed. “We did not come here to fight with you. We did not come here so that you two could stage an intervention. Mom, didn’t you tell me just last week that I was an adult and I could do what I wanted? Jess did not break up my relationship with Logan. Logan did that all by himself, when he cheated on me!”

Jess looked at Rory and felt his heart start to twist. He didn’t know how much she was going to say and as much as he wanted to save her from reliving it, he couldn’t exactly stop her.

Rory saw Jess staring at her; his eyes calm and steady as always. She held his gaze, regained her equilibrium and continued. “I went to Philadelphia two weeks after I broke up with Logan. I didn’t even find Jess’ invitation until I was at Logan’s, packing my things. I went to Philadelphia because… because I had to talk to Jess.” Rory turned to Lorelai, “Mom, I never told you this before, but Jess, he came to see me while I was living with Grandma and Grandpa. He yelled at me, for dropping out of school. Jess is the one who got through to me, Mom. He got me to go back to Yale.”

“What?” Lorelai asked, blinking hard.

“You did?” Luke asked.

“Of course I did. Why do you think I made you tell me where she was? To give her my book? You could’ve done that,” Jess said.  
              
“Mom,” Rory said, “you want to know how I came to my senses and got my ass back to Yale? It wasn’t Grandma and Grandpa, it wasn’t you, it wasn’t Paris and it certainly wasn’t Logan. You want to know how I got my life back? How you and I got our relationship back? You’re looking at him.”

Lorelai leaned back in her chair and stared at Jess.

Rory continued, while there was silence. “I went to Philadelphia because Jess invited me to the Truncheon event. Luke had told him I was back at Yale, I guess. But he didn’t know how I got there. When I went to Truncheon, I told him. I thanked him for giving me the kick in the ass that I needed to fix my life. _That’s_ when we got back together.”

“And for the record,” Jess said to Lorelai, taking advantage of her stunned silence, “I am not leaving Rory again, Lorelai. We’re done running. Her and I? It’s the real thing.”

“You’re all in,” Luke said, smiling at Jess.

“Yeah, we both are. Lorelai, I will not hurt her again.” Jess said sincerely.

Lorelai’s blue eyes glazed over with tears and darted to look at her daughter. Rory nodded and held her mother’s gaze without flinching. They both broke down and hugged each other tightly.

Luke gave Jess a warm side hug. “If you do hurt her again, I’ll kill you. You understand me?”

Jess laughed. “Yeah, I understand. It won’t happen. But consider yourself understood.”

“So when are you gonna make a formal announcement to the rest of the town?”

“Aw geez, Luke. Like what, an add in the goddamn Gazette?”

“You remember that the Stars Hollow paper is a Gazette huh? I’m starting to think you didn’t hate it here as much as you always said you did.”

No, trust me. I did. Bright spots aside,” Jess said, slapping Luke’s back before looking at Rory, watching her hug her mom.  
              
“I’m just saying. Remember what I told you. You date a girl like Rory…”

“Yeah, I know. Package deal. I haven’t forgotten.”

“Sadly, the town you hate comes with the package.”

“She’s worth it,” Jess said, his eyes still on Rory.

“Yeah, she is,” Luke agreed, looking at Lorelai.

Suddenly Lorelai got up from her seat and walked around the table, throwing her arms around Jess in a tight hug. “Thank you,” she whispered emotionally, pecking him softly on the cheek.

Jess was slightly stunned by the sudden embrace from this woman who never trusted him. Not that he could blame her for her opinion of him. “Yeah,” he said quietly, putting his arms around her slowly and tentatively.

“Oh wow, God look at me, crying like a fountain over here,” Lorelai said, releasing Jess. “You both realize that once Luke and I get married, you’ll be dating your cousin, right?” she said with a laugh.

“Yeah, I guess we will be,” Jess said with a smirk. “But not really. I mean we’d only be what, step-cousins? Is that even a thing?”

“Nothing that comes with birth defects, so only a minor detail which can totally be overlooked.” Lorelai said with a flick of her wrist. “Beware of the public shaming though, should your secret ever become unearthed.”

“Right. We’ll make sure to be extra covert.” Jess said with a small smile.

“Oh my God, kid!” Lorelai said to Rory suddenly, “We’re going to be late for Friday night dinner if we don’t leave soon! Oh no… what are we going to say to The Fuhrers?!”

“Nothing!” Rory said emphatically. “We are not going to say anything yet.”

“But we have to! Before they start trying to find you a new gentleman friend! At the very least you have to tell them why you and Logan aren’t together anymore, or they’re gonna want to stick you right back with him.”

“See, Ror, your mom agrees with me! … Wow, there’s something I never thought I’d say. No offence,” Jess said with a shrug.

“None taken. But you should be aware you just used up your only freebie,” Lorelai said to Jess.

“No, but seriously,” Jess said, “I told her the exact same thing, about needing to tell her grandparents.”

“Oh my God, will you two stop?!” Rory interjected. “Maybe you two should date, you’re suddenly getting along so well. I will tell you the same thing I told Jess, Mom. Yes, I will tell Grandma and Grandpa, but there’s no need to do it tonight. Jess and I have had a few very high-octane weeks. We need to give it some time before we both walk into another fray that will be twenty times worse than what was waiting for us here with you two.”

“Valid points, all. But we mustn’t wait too long, lest they throw you another ‘Eligible Bachelors of Yale’ party.”

“Holy crap, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Jess said laughing.  
              
“You are so naïve, Mariano. Not to worry, a fierce Jedi Master of the tricks of dealing with the elder Gilmores you shall become,” Lorelai said with a mocking battle-ready bow.

“Alright, I guess I should go then, allow you to do battle with your elders,” Jess said. “Luke, can I hang out the diner? Sneak in the back door and upstairs wait there till they get back? I’m going to be driving Rory back to Yale. It was my turn to come to her, so I’m in Connecticut until Sunday.”

“’Your turn’. Look at you, all grown up, mature and in a serious relationship. I never thought I’d see the day,” Luke said.

Jess chuckled quietly.

“No, I’m serious. I thought I would actually die first.”

“Well, thanks for that overwhelming vote of confidence,” Jess deadpanned.

Luke dug his keys out. “Take my truck so that no one sees you or suspects a strange car. All jokes aside, I’m sure you want to tell the town about this on your own terms. So, better safe. Back door key is the one with the red band on it,” he said, handing them to Jess.

“I’ll walk you out,” Rory said.

Once they were out on the porch, Rory and Jess let out a collective sigh of relief.       

“See, it wasn’t that bad,” Rory said.

“Oh yeah, right after your mom got over wanting to murder me, it was positively the best thing ever!” Jess said with mock enthusiasm.

“So she was shocked and yes, she jumped to conclusions. That was unfair of her, I’m sorry that she said those things to you.”

“The conclusions she jumped to were completely justified Ror, considering my track record for leaving you in the lurch. If I were her, I would have had the same reaction.” Jess sighed and pulled Rory into a tight embrace, kissing her warmly. “I know that I’ve done a lot of things in the past that render me untrustworthy. I know I’ll have to earn her respect and I’m aware that it will probably be an uphill battle. That’s okay. I’m in this for the long haul, I have plenty of time to win her over.”

“I think you won her over the instant I told her that you’re the reason I went back to Yale. The battle probably won’t be as uphill as you think.”

Jess smiled at her with a look of relief on his face. Things would be easier now that people were starting to find out. Keeping their relationship a secret was something that seemed very logical when they agreed to it, not wanting the opinions of others to drive them apart as had been the case in their past. But the past was the past and they both knew better than to make the same mistakes they made when they were teenagers. Regardless of how many people knew or if it would end up becoming the big Stars Hollow gossip for 2006; no matter how many people were wary, or doubtful, it made no difference. The only two people that mattered were Rory and Jess and what they knew in their hearts, that this was the real thing. As long as they committed to each other, nothing else mattered. The opinions of everyone in Stars Hollow, the opinions of Rory’s grandparents, or Rory and Jess’ friends –it was all just background noise.

Rory leaned in to stroke Jess’ cheek and rest her forehead against his. Jess took both of her hands and intertwined their fingers. “I love you, Ror. As hard as it is for me to admit, I’m glad we did this. It was the right thing.”

“Yeah, it was. I love you too Jess,” she said, taking their intertwined fingers and pulling Jess’ arms around to hug her back.

When she released her hands from his, he pulled her in close, fitting his hand into the curve of the small of her back. Jess leaned in and kissed her passionately; as soon as she opened her mouth into the kiss, Jess’ tongue swept inside her mouth and tangled with hers. They were breathing heavily through their noses and made sweet sucking and puckering noises as they happily devoured each other.

It was the type of passionate kiss one would usually save for behind closed doors –the type of kissing it made Rory embarrassed to see people engaging in in public. But Rory, like Jess was noticing that no matter how close they got, it was never close enough; no matter how much passion they had, no amount of contact or kissing was enough. 

“Jumping Jehoshaphat, is that you, Rory doll?” Rory and Jess jumped apart and Jess suddenly found himself standing face-to-face with Babette.

“Hi Babette,” Rory said shakily, offering a weak wave.

“Is that Jess?! Goodness gracious it’s been a while since any of us have seen the gorgeous James Dean look-a-like of this town. How are you, sugar?”

“I’m fine Babette,” Jess said, offering a slight smile.

“Oh wow. You guys are giving it another go huh? Well isn’t that wonderful. He better not leave you again, Rory.”

“He won’t Babette, I promise,” Rory said with a smile.

“Okay, because you know if he hurts you again, all of Stars Hollow will have his head,”

“He knows, Babette,” Rory said, blushing slightly. This was the exact thing that she and Jess had wanted to avoid. Rory felt so bad for Jess, being cornered by one of Stars Hollow’s most prolific gossipers. He didn’t need Babette –of all people- reminding him for the fourth or fifth time today how much he’d hurt Rory in the past and the number of times he left her.

Remaining utterly calm and composed, Jess said, “I’m in love with her, Babette. I’ve given her permission to jack my car to make sure I don’t leave her like I did last time I said that.”

“Isn’t that sweet of you, sugar,” Babette said with a warm smile. “Oh well, don’t mind me. I didn’t mean to interrupt. It’s great to see you Rory, we sure do miss you!”

“I miss you too Babette. I promise I’ll try to make it home more often.”

“Sounds good. Bring him with you, if you want,” she said, winking at Jess.

“Babette,” Rory laughed, “you’re married!”

“Hey now, I am married and I wouldn’t trade in my Maury for anyone. But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the scenery,” she said with another wink. “Anyhoo, I won’t keep you kids any longer. Hope to see you soon Rory!” Babette said, turning to go back inside her house.

Jess sighed and slipped his arm around Rory’s waist. “Have I mentioned how much I hate this place? Babette’s one of the biggest blabbermouths in this town –which is saying a lot for a town full of blabbermouths.”

“Think of the bright side. At least we won’t have to stress out about how to come clean with the whole town. Babette’s on the case; everyone will be up to speed by the time the clock strikes midnight! Really Jess, don’t let it upset you. I’m hardly here anyway, I live in New Haven most of the year and you’re in Philadelphia. You will not have to deal with the daily farce of existence that is Stars Hollow except on very rare occasions.”

Jess cocked an eyebrow at her and smirked. “The bright side, huh?”

“Yes,” Rory said with an innocent smile.

“I think I can manage that. When the woman I love comes with a town full of weirdos, I’m pretty sure I’m okay with the weirdos because I get you.”

“Hey would you mind driving me to Lane’s quickly? You can stay in your car, where you’re safe from prying eyes. But I want to tell Lane about us myself, I really don’t want her hearing it for the first time as it trickles down the gossip mill. You don’t even have to stay, I can just walk home. I’ll need to get ready for dinner with my grandparents anyway. Once you drop me off you can sneak up to Luke’s and remain unseen. I’ll swing by the diner as soon as I get back.”

“Sure. Of course. Now that Babette’s seen me, hiding seems like an even better idea.”

“This was the right thing to do Jess,” Rory said, leaning her head against his chest.

“I know. Alright, my dearest Gilmore. You have a best friend to see and a fancy pants dinner to get ready for. You’ve got a big night ahead of you during which, I will be hiding upstairs at Luke’s until I see your beautiful face, signifying my release from house arrest. Let’s get you to see a girl,” he gave her one more lingering kiss before they walked to the car and headed towards Lane’s.


	14. Chapter 14

“So you’re really not going to tell me?” Rory asked, pouting her lip.

“Why is this such a big deal, Ror?” Jess countered, with a playful smirk.

“Because. That isn’t the type of thing someone intuitively _knows_. You had to pick it up somewhere.”

“It was just an ice cube,”

“Yeah. But it wasn’t in a glass of water next to your bed, Jess. You got up to get it. You said ‘payback time’; ergo, learned skill.” It had been six weeks since their first time; despite much questioning, Rory could not get Jess to explain where he’d picked up his ice cube trick –nor had he done it again.

Jess chuckled, tightening his hold around her neck slightly and pulling her close to peck the side of her head. They were in their pajamas for a movie night, watching _Ghost_. When Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore turned clay pot making into enviable foreplay, Rory started peppering Jess with questions; she was desperate to know where and how he’d learned to incorporate ice cubes into his repertoire of carnal knowledge.

“This scene is absolutely ridiculous,” Jess said, nodding at the screen. “I don’t care how good looking Swayze is, hardening clay all over your skin while you’re fucking is not sexy. Why are we watching this again?”

“Because it was my turn to pick; I drove to see you. That’s the system –traveler’s choice. We watched _Almost Famous_ last weekend like you wanted to… _again._ Don’t change the subject.”

Jess turned off the movie, sat up and turned to face Rory. “Okay,” he said with a sigh, “if we’re gonna talk about this, let’s talk about this.

“Okay… should I be nervous?” Rory asked slowly. “You’ve turned off Patrick Swayze and you have a distinct ‘something face’. Am I going to regret being curious?”

“I hope not,” Jess said, reaching up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. He held her face for a moment and sighed. “Ror, you’re the only woman I’ve ever really loved. You know that right?”

Rory felt a lump rising in her throat and she forced herself to swallow.

“I’ve loved you since we were seventeen. The moment I saw your bookshelf, I was a goner,” Jess said with a small laugh. “We were a rollercoaster, you and me. We weren’t together, then we were, then we weren’t, then I embarrassed myself trying to get you back and I failed. I spent over a year kicking myself in the ass. I didn’t think I’d get a chance to redeem myself from that, or all of the other things I did to hurt you. And now, here we are,”

“Thanks for the recap, Jess. I know all of this. What does any of that have to do with…”

“I’ve had a lot of meaningless sex, Rory.”

“What?” Rory asked, her mouth dropping open slightly.

“Ror,” Jess whispered. He pulled her close and held her gaze. “You. Are. The only woman I have ever loved. Do you understand?”

Rory nodded wordlessly, sensing that Jess needed confirmation in order to find the courage to say the rest.

“I made a lot of mistakes with you. I didn’t do things right.”

“Jess, we both made mistakes,” Rory offered.

“Yeah. There’s blame to share. But most of it is mine. Over the years I’ve had ample time to reflect on all of the ways I messed up. I felt worthless. Like I never deserved you in the first place. I’ve been in love with you almost right since we met Ror, but I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t know how to show it. It scared me.

“Even when we were apart, I may have been mad at you or mad at myself, but I never stopped loving you. When it was too painful to handle, I numbed the pain by having a lot of sex. I’d date girls for a few weeks at a time and have a lot of sex. None of it meant anything. I tried to have feelings for them, but I couldn’t. When it got to the point that they wanted more from me, I broke it off because I couldn’t care about them the way they wanted me to. Because they weren’t you.”

“Jess, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“No. It’s good. This is something I’ve been trying to figure out how to talk to you about but I never…” Jess stopped to close his eyes and inhale a shaky breath. He took Rory’s face in both of his hands. They stared at each other for a solid minute without speaking.

“Jess,” Rory said gently, “you don’t have to justify yourself to me. I made my fair share of less than stellar decisions when I was reeling from you. I understand. I mean, it’s not exactly the type of revelation that makes me jump for joy, but I understand. It’s okay. I don’t hate you for whatever you did to try to fix whatever inside you was broken.” She reached up to run her fingers through Jess’ hair and stopped to hold his cheek in her palm. Ducking her head down to meet his eyes, she continued with a warm smile, “Now, what does all this have to do with the ice cube?”

Jess relaxed into her touch and gave her a fragile grin. “One of the girls I was with for a while, she… she had a thing for hot and cold,” he said quietly.

“Ah. Maybe one day I should write her anonymously to say thanks,” Rory said with a chuckle.

“Maybe you should wait a while longer,”

Their relationship had gotten to a very comfortable place, despite its newness. They alternated weekends. When Rory went to Philadelphia, she would arrive on Saturday morning and stay until Monday, avoiding causing suspicion with Emily and Richard; Friday night dinners were never missed. When Rory told them that she broke up with Logan, Emily and Richard were unwilling to accept the truth of his betrayal; they tried to justify his behaviour much the same way that he had, saying that they were not actually together when he committed these “transgressions” and tried tirelessly to find a way to bring Rory back around to him. Lorelai remained mostly neutral through it all, speaking up only to defend Rory’s decision to break up with Logan. Richard and Emily had no idea yet that Jess was back in Rory’s life and intended to stay.  Rory was unwavering, dispelling all of their efforts with all the pleasantry she could muster, though sometimes the night’s end was signaled by curt goodbyes and slamming doors.

Jess had been to Stars Hollow once or twice when it was his turn to come to Rory. His reemergence was definitely the talk of the town; everyone chimed in with an opinion, which Jess never heard directly, but he could tell which way anyone was leaning based on how they looked at him. Unsurprisingly, most people still believed he was a troublemaking hoodlum.

When it came to Jess, Lorelai was cordial and warm but guarded. She was grateful beyond measure for what Jess had done for Rory and for the part he played in giving her back her daughter, but she was understandably wary. One gallant selfless gesture did not make up for years of emotional pain and scars. Lorelai wasn’t counting her chickens or allowing herself to come around too much until Jess stuck around and made Rory happy for long enough that she could believe what he’d said to her was true. Jess was expecting as much and didn’t begrudge Lorelai any of her hesitation.

Luke was wary too, but he saw more than Lorelai did how much his nephew had changed since the last time he was in Rory’s life. He was quietly optimistic that Jess would prove his words true. Luke couldn’t help but see himself and Lorelai reflected in Rory and Jess. Jess loved Rory like he loved Lorelai. Rory and Jess were running the same circles that he and Lorelai had; he knew that if the two of them could stay on the same page, they had a pretty good shot. Luke still thought of Rory as a little girl and as much as he had a hard time believing anyone was good enough for her, Jess could give that theory a run for its money. Luke wouldn’t have wanted this for them when they were teenagers, after seeing the extremes their relationship went through. But the optimism he’d felt when they first met –before anyone got hurt- was the same thing he felt now, which was that the two of them together had the potential to be a great thing.

“What about you?” Jess asked, breaking their silence.

“What about me?” Rory repeated.

“Come on Ror. I just had an emotionally honest revelation there, colouring in some of the never-ending grey area that fills the void of our absence from each other. You’ve made more than one reference to your own crappy decision-making. Don’t I get a little crumb? I think I deserve a crumb,” he said with a gentle grin.

“What do you want to know?” Rory asked slowly, bristling as soon as the words escaped her mouth. She cursed inwardly for backing herself into a corner; if Jess asked how she’d coped with begging her to run away with him…

“You never told me what made you drop out of Yale in the first place. You told me I fixed it, but I still have no idea what I fixed.”

Rory let out a small sigh of relief. “Oh. Um… I got a really bad performance review at a summer internship and I kinda freaked.”

“You got a performance review that was bad enough to make you question your life’s ambition and drop out of school?” Jess asked carefully, wanting to know more. “What they hell did they say to you? Who came down on you? Your skin is pretty thick, Ror. Whoever it was…”

“It was Mitchum Huntzberger, Logan’s dad. He’s a bigwig in the journalism world.”

Jess scowled at the mention of Logan’s name, but he was hardly surprised. This just reinforced what he already knew; it proved that Logan’s dickhead tendencies were well established, genetically predetermined. “What did he say to you?” Jess asked slowly, trying not to grit his teeth.

“He told me I’d make a great secretary, but that I didn’t have what it takes to be a journalist. I didn’t handle it well. I…” Rory chewed her bottom lip before continuing, “I convinced Logan to steal a yacht with me. We got busted. Mom had to bail me out of jail. After she bailed me out I told her I had decided to take a semester off from Yale and she refused to let me. She said if I dropped out of Yale I couldn’t just come home to do nothing. So I moved in with my grandparents. I went to court over the yacht, did three hundred hours of community service.”

Jess sat and stared at Rory in disbelief. He was silent for longer than he should have been. “You stole a yacht? You convinced Logan. To steal a yacht?”

“Yes.”

“Logan’s prick of a father told you that you’d be better off as a secretary, so you _stole a yacht_?”

“Yes.”

“And decided to drop out of school?”

“Yes.”

“Your mom wouldn’t accept that and that’s how you ended up with your grandparents? And then you went to court for _stealing a yacht_ and got slammed with three hundred hours of community service for _stealing a yacht_?”

“Yes. Yes. Yes. I do believe you’ve now recounted the entire ordeal in question form. What else can I say, Jess? Yes. That’s what happened. It is horrifying. But you wanted to know _exactly_ what you fixed. That’s what you fixed.” Rory was getting agitated; her face was hot and her eyes were brimming with tears.

Jess stared at her, stone faced for another five seconds before erupting in peels of hysterical laughter. When Rory started tremble before him, he grabbed her hands and held her tightly to stop her from storming away. “I’m sorry,” he said, trying to catch his breath. “I know it’s not funny. It’s awful. I’m so sorry you went through all of that. It isn’t funny,” Jess caught her gaze and held it, trying to stifle his chuckles and ease her anxiety. He released one of her hands and reached up to stroke her cheek. “I’m sorry,” he said seriously. “It really isn’t funny. But it kind of is, isn’t it? If it’s too soon to find the funny, feel free to smack me,” he asked gently. “You, sensible, stable, logical, picture-of-good-behaviour Rory Gilmore. You stole a fucking boat!”

“A yacht,” Rory corrected quietly, smiling slightly in spite of herself.

“A yacht,” Jess conceded. He pulled her close and kissed her forehead, guiding her to rest her face against his chest. “All this time, I thought I was a bad influence on you. Half the reason I stayed away is because I’d convinced myself you were way better off without me screwing you up at every turn, only to find out that you went and committed grand-theft-yacht all by yourself. You’re just as much of a screw up as I am; I do it in slightly smaller steps with higher frequency whereas you draw it out as long as possible before fucking up in an awe-inspiring fashion,” he paused to place a kiss atop her head and let out a sigh. “We’re more perfect for each other than we ever knew,” he said sincerely.

Rory smiled against his chest, “Yeah, I guess we are.”

“Hey, look at me,” he said, propping up her chin, “I really am sorry that you went through all of that, Ror. It must have been really hard.”

“Yeah,”

“Would I be a terrible person if I told you I was a little relieved to hear that you are not immune to making colossal mistakes?”

“No. I’m actually really glad I went through all of that.”

“You’re glad you stole a yacht, dropped out of school and fell out of touch with your mom? Why?”

“In a way, yeah,”

“You lost me…”

“You.”

“What?”

Rory brought her hands up to hold Jess’ face firmly. “If I hadn’t made all those mistakes, or if the mistakes weren’t as bad as they were, you might not have shown up to yell at me.”

“Okay,” Jess said, shaking his head slightly. “I get that you’re grateful for the end result. End result being that you got your life back and we ended up together. But you’re grateful for the fact that I yelled at you? You’re seriously thankful that I was mean to you?”

“You weren’t mean, Jess. You yelled at me and you weren’t nice about it, but you were telling me what I needed to hear. Everyone else was mad at me, furious with me for making the choices that I did and they defaulted to passive aggression to get their point across. Mom shipped me off to my grandparents thinking they could get through to me; my grandparents thought I’d come to my senses on my own after I finished with my community service and when I didn’t, they tightened their leash and watched me around the clock, trying to control everything I did.

"I told you when I first came here you were the only person who could have ever gotten through to me; have you ever thought about why that is? You weren’t preoccupied with my feelings. It doesn’t mean you didn’t care. Of course you cared. You cared a hell of a lot; enough to want to fix it without knowing what went wrong. But you weren’t afraid to hurt my feelings. You probably figured it was a worthy price to pay, if you could help me find my way out of the mess you knew nothing about. You knew nothing about what went wrong; you saw a glimpse of the damage it caused and that was enough for you to go to whatever lengths you had to, to get me to fix it. That night is when I realized it was all still there. All the reasons I loved you.”

Jess was stunned. “I think you’re giving me a little too much credit,”

Rory shook her head. “No, I’m really not.”

“You’re telling me –passive aggressive as they might have been- _nothing_ your mom or your grandparents did to get through to you made even the slightest dent? I came and yelled at you and split you wide open? Your life was a colossal mess for months and you had no shortage of people trying to help you. But _me_ , I was the only one who managed to penetrate your defenses? Seriously?”

“Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“Jesus. You’ve been in love with me for longer than I thought.” Jess said with a laugh.

“Probably longer than I realized too. I’m sorry it took me another two months to tell you.”

“Thanks for telling me, even though I yelled at you again.”

“You didn’t yell at me the night I told you I was in love with you,” Rory said.

“No, but you stuck around the week before to say a lot of things that were harder to say. I yelled at you then. Before I knew any of that, when I thought you were playing with me, I was ready to throw you out.”

“Yeah. Despite my emotional state, I did notice your rage. Where do you think my courage came from? I knew I needed to tell you the truth before you tossed me out. Your anger doesn’t scare me, Jess. It can hurt me, but it doesn’t scare me.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better for acting like an ass?” Jess asked, looking at her seriously.

“You weren’t acting like an ass. But yes, it should. Doesn’t it?” Rory questioned.

Jess shook his head and kissed her hair. “Where did you come from?” he asked quietly, almost to himself.

Rory’s breath hitched as a wave of déjà vu hit her, remembering her dream from the first night she arrived in Philadelphia. She took his face in her hands and kissed him softly. They stared at each other for a long time.

“Your eyes have a little green in them,” Rory said quietly, gently sweeping Jess’ dark hair away from his face.

“Your freckles stand out more when you’re out of breath,” Jess offered in return.

“You like that, do you?”  
              
“Mmmhmm, I do.”

“Well then I guess you should take my breath away, shouldn’t you?”

“It would be a perfectly logical course of action,” Jess said lowly, leaning in to suck on Rory’s neck.

When Rory’s fingers tangled in his hair, Jess laid her back and started inching down her body with his mouth. He placed a searing kiss in the hollow of her throat, darting his tongue out to taste her skin. When he reached the top of her fleece pajama shirt, he traced his fingers around the collar slowly, tickling her skin and causing her to shiver. He smiled for a fleeting second before grasping the soft fabric with two fists, pulling it apart quickly, the oversized buttons slipping through the buttonholes easily.

Rory gasped at the sudden rush of air against her bare skin. Jess laughed quietly to himself before taking one of her nipples into his mouth and sucking firmly while he massaged her other breast roughly with his hand. When he took her nipple between his teeth and pulled, Rory cried out. Each time they had sex was more intense. They were growing bolder, unafraid to claim what was theirs.

When Rory started to whimper, Jess abruptly released her breasts and in an instant, wrapped his fingers around her pajama bottoms. He pulled them down quickly and Rory gasped again, feeling another whoosh of air. In a matter of seconds, Jess had ripped his own pajamas off as well.

He took her sensitive nub of flesh between his teeth without warning, teasing it roughly until he felt her warmth. Rory cried out again, even louder. Taking that as his cue, he quickly kissed his way back up her naked body, which was already writhing, searching for more contact. When he reached her mouth, he laid his weight on her and started grinding his hips, creating an intoxicating friction even before they joined. He kissed her mouth hard and found both of her hands with his, intertwining their fingers and guiding them to rest above her head. He crossed her wrists together, holding both her arms tightly in place over her head.

Jess slipped his other arm around her waist, holding strong to the small of her back, squeezing the top of her ass gently but firmly while continuing to grind his hips teasingly. As she melted into his touch and started bucking her hips up to meet his, her thighs fell open. Without warning, Jess plunged into her roughly, causing Rory to cry out in pleasure. Jess wasted no time, instantly finding a rhythm, pounding into her hard and fast. Every few thrusts, he would allow himself to withdraw from her almost completely before driving back into her with such force that their skin would slap together audibly with every thrust.

“God, fuck, Jess,” Rory panted between cries every time their hips slammed together. She was bucking wildly underneath him; he still kept her arms locked tightly above her head, refusing to release her. She dug her nails into the skin of his hand, hard enough to make him hiss and leave little half-moon marks in his flesh.

Jess was grunting and moaning with every thrust, looking into her eyes and refusing to release her gaze. The harder he drove into her, the more intensely he looked at her.

Being unable to touch Jess as he drove into her so roughly was enough to make Rory insane. She knew this was intentional; she had requested he take her breath away, after all. He was driving her to the brink fast; the burning hot coil within her ready to snap almost as soon as he’d entered her.

Leaning her head up slightly from where he had her pinned underneath him, she kissed him desperately, moaning loudly into his mouth every time he rocked into her.

“Oh God, Jess. Harder, please. Harder,” Rory rasped out.

Jess smirked seductively and felt himself harden within her as she begged him to fuck her. With his free hand, he hitched Rory’s thigh around his hip and she brought her leg other up around his other side to meet it, locking her heels together loosely around his back. With her legs wrapped around him, Jess was able to plunge even deeper inside of her. With a slight change in the angle of his thrusts, he was able to pound into her harder and faster.

Soon they were both humming. They looked at each other intensely as they continued to spin towards release. Within minutes they were both panting, covered in a thin sheen of sweat. When Rory snapped, she muffled her cries against Jess’ shoulder. Jess’ climax was reached as soon as Rory tightened around him; he continued to stare at her intensely as his release shuddered through him. When he finally came down, he gently released Rory’s hands from above her head and kissed her passionately, until they were both breathless.

Jess leaned down and rubbed his nose against Rory’s tenderly. A smirk pulled at one side of his mouth. “The best way to leave you breathless is to take you by surprise,” he whispered. “Besides which, now that I know you’re a felon? That ups the hot sex quotient by like, a million,” he teased.

“You’re a pig,” Rory laughed.

“Sorry. Too soon for felon jokes. But now that I know there’s rebellious streak in you? Think of all the naughty fun we could have…”

Rory blushed as Jess moved off of her and slid down to lay beside her on the couch, covering them both with a blanket and wrapping his arms around her tightly. “Rory, I’m sorry if it’s too early to be teasing you. I’m not trying to be insensitive. I’m really proud of you, for finding your way out of that mess. It takes a very strong person to do what you did. I doubt many other people could make mistakes as big as you made and find their way back from it. You’re amazingly strong.”

“So are you,” Rory said sincerely. “My individual fuck up may have been bigger, but Jess, look at the life you’re building for yourself. Look at everything you overcame to get here. You’re amazing. Who would’ve ever believed after all of you went through that you would end up making good, doing something you love?”

“You did,” Jess said simply. “Rory, when you first came back to me, you told me that I basically saved your life for helping you find your way back to Yale. You saved my life too, you know. You believed in me when no one else did, when I didn’t believe in myself and when I didn’t want you believing in me. You did anyway. I meant what I said to you when I first came to see you. I couldn’t have done any of this without you. You really did save my life.”

“We’re even then.” Rory snuggled tightly against his chest, resting her head in the crook of his shoulder. “And even though it might be too early for felon jokes, the whole thing is pretty absurd. Being able to laugh is good; otherwise I’d just punish myself endlessly for my stupidity. It gives me a weird sense of perspective. Being able to learn how to laugh about it will help me move forward. The community service expunged it from my record so, thank God, it won’t haunt me for my whole life. They say that laughter is the best medicine right?”

Jess cradled her head in his arm and kissed her hair softly.

“You’re the only one, Jess. In more ways than you could possibly know, you’re the only one. It’s always been you,” Rory said quietly.

“Ror?”

“Hm?”

“Will you be my wedding date?” Jess asked softly.  
              
Rory forced her eyes open to look at him. “What?”

“Your mom and Luke’s wedding –will you be my date?”

“I thought I already was,” she said with a smile. “I’m Mom’s maid of honour. Luke asked you to be the best man, right?”

“Yeah. I think he must’ve been delirious,” Jess said with a chuckle.

“No he wasn’t, Jess. He’s proud of you. He loves you. He wants you up there with him,” Rory reached up to stroke his cheek, “it makes perfect sense to me. And yes, I will be your date.” She said, kissing his neck softly. After a pause, she said, “Have you told your mom about us?”

Jess laughed. “Yeah. She was squealing so much I thought she was going to ooze right through the phone, ‘Oh my boy! My Jess finally with the woman he was meant for. I always had a feeling about you two, you know, and my gut is rarely wrong….’ I could hear TJ in the background saying that I should start wearing tights. ‘They’re supportive, they show off the package and they’re very manly, you know…’”

Rory laughed loudly. “What?”

“Nothing. You didn’t see Liz and TJ’s Renaissance wedding two years ago. It was a trip. TJ wore tights and I think he ended up loving the tights more than he loves her.” Jess laughed and took a deep breath. “Do you think after she marries Luke, your mom might actually start to like me?” He teased.

Rory sighed. “Jess, my mom likes you,”

“No she doesn’t. She never did. She started warming up to me three years ago though, I could tell; after we’d been together a while. But then I bolted. She may be thankful that I gave you back to her and got you back to Yale and she’s been nice to me, very nice. But she doesn’t like me.”

“You just have to give her time. She needs to see that –”

“That I’m not going to run away. That I’m not going to hurt you like I used to.”

“Yeah,” Rory said, a little sadly.  
              
“As long as she comes around eventually, I can be patient,”

“She will, I promise.”

Jess sighed, preparing himself to tread into another delicate area. “The wedding’s in two months, Ror. I’m not exactly eager for this, but you have to tell your grandparents before then. I don’t want to have to act like we’re not together.”

“I know, Jess. I don’t want that either. I know I have to tell them, I just…” Rory trailed off. Suddenly out of breath, she started gasping for air and her cheeks grew hot.

Jess took her face in his hands and kissed her nose, holding her gaze until her breathing slowed. “We still have time, Rory. No need to hyperventilate yet, okay?”

“Right, okay.”

“We need to start thinking about how we’re going to do this, that’s all. We need to start talking about it. It can’t be the elephant in the room for much longer.”

“I know,”

“Your grandparents may be intimidating Rory, but they don’t scare me,” Jess said with a warm grin. “I promise to be on time when I see them. I promise not to get beaked by a swan and have a black eye.”

“Beaked by a –you told me you got hit in the face with a football!” Rory said laughing. “You mean there was no football? You were ‘beaked’. By a swan. A swan gave you a black eye?”

“Hey, swans can be vicious,” Jess said earnestly.

Rory tried to hold in her giggles. “Mmmhmm. Of course they can be. Thank God you were okay,” she said, reaching up to touch his face and cackling loudly.

Jess blushed and laughed quietly with her, holding her hand against his cheek.

As their laughter subsided, sincerity settled in its place. They kissed warmly, sighing into each other’s mouths and holding one another as closely as they could. Rory’s fingers tangled in Jess’ hair and Jess placed a warm palm against her throat, caressing her soft skin.

Beneath Jess’ calm and rational exterior, coming clean with Rory’s grandparents did frighten him, more than he would ever admit to her. He wasn’t scared of them specifically, per se. He didn’t know them well, but he knew Emily and Richard had ways –they were masterminds of manipulation, twisting things until they were exactly as they wanted. He was impressed that Luke and Lorelai had withstood the disapproval long enough to make it to their wedding, that together they were strong enough to force the Lorelai’s parents to a place of civil acquiescence. Jess knew that Rory’s grandparents would never accept that he loved her. In their eyes, he’d never be good enough for her. Despite how he’d turned his life around, he would always be the punk who showed up late to dinner with a black eye and then stormed out.

Jess tried to push the thoughts out of his mind as he held Rory in his arms. But as he drifted off to sleep, a bad feeling crept into his gut. Like Liz, Jess’ gut was rarely wrong; most of the bad decisions that plagued his teens were made with blatant disregard to what his gut told him. This feeling that settled into the pit of his stomach was definitely worrisome and too strong to ignore; Jess had a sneaking suspicion that it intended to stay rooted inside him for a long time and that he should probably get used to it.  



	15. Chapter 15

“What’s the matter, kid?” Lorelai asked Rory as they approached the Gilmore mansion.

“Nothing,” Rory said quietly.

“Rory, when you forget to breathe steadily, that’s usually a pretty good indicator that something is up. Besides, I’m your mother –there’s not a single tell you have that gets by me. Spill.”

Rory sighed, “I have to tell Grandma and Grandpa about Jess tonight.”

“The wedding’s not for another month. Have all of my efforts to teach you the art of stalling failed that miserably? I’ve been telling you all week, you don’t have to say anything to them tonight.”

“I have been stalling Mom. Jess and I have been together for three months now. Jess has been bugging me to tell them for weeks. He’s right –they have to know about us _before_ you and Luke get married. Somehow I don’t think they’d take kindly to finding out at the wedding when they see us being all coupley.”

Lorelai chuckled slightly under her breath. “When did Jess become so level-headed, so pro-honesty? When did he start giving a crap about what anyone thought of him, or you two together? He wanted to tell me and Luke and now he’s on you to tell your grandparents… is he particularly eager to have a mark attached to his back?”

“No, Mom,” Rory said, rolling her eyes. “I keep telling you –Jess is different than he used to be. I mean, he’s not a totally different person, but he’s grown up a hell of a lot. He doesn’t run away from stuff like he used to. You know he’s the reason I got my life back. You burst into tears and hugged him and thanked him for it. You’re so grateful that he did that for me and yet you’re totally unwilling to believe that he’s matured from the rebellious kid you used to know. Why can’t you cut him some slack?”

“Hun,”

“I’m in love with him, Mom. And he’s in love with me. You need to get used to him being around. He thinks you hate him; he says you never liked him.”

“Rory, that’s not true,” Lorelai said haltingly. “Look sweetie, I’m sorry. I’ll try to be better, okay? I do like Jess. I’m unbelievably grateful for what he did for you…”

“You need to like him for more than just that.”

“Rory, I do. I’m sorry. It’s just, when you were together it was just a rapid fire of drama and intensity and pain and hurt. He wasn’t exactly easy to like back then. He just kept leaving and showing up again. I saw how it messed with you.”

“Mom, I told you. He isn’t like that anymore. If he hadn’t reappeared this time, my life would _still_ be a mess. He didn’t cause the mess this time, Mom. The biggest mess I’ve ever found myself in was not his doing. He didn’t cause it. He fixed it.”

“I know,” Lorelai sighed. “I’m sorry. New, improved, responsible and dependable Jess is going to take some getting used to, that’s all.” She paused before asking slowly, “Do you really love him, Rory?”

“Yeah, I really do.” Rory said sincerely.

“And he loves you? You’ve told each other?”  

“Yeah, we have,” she said with a small, unconscious smile.

Lorelai reached for her daughter’s hand and turned to face her as she parked her Jeep in the Gilmore’s driveway. “Well I can tell you’re happier, that’s for sure. And as much as my Mama Bear instincts hate to admit it, he understands you Rory. You understand each other –speak the same language. You…. fit together. Without even trying, you gravitate to one another like metal to a magnet. You’re different since you two got back together this time, like you’re more comfortable in your own skin.” Lorelai took a deep breath. “I have no business making the man who makes you this happy feel that uncomfortable. Just tell him to be patient with me; I’ll get there. But I reserve the right to be guarded until he sticks around long enough that I see fit to relax. And no one other than me can decide when I see fit to relax.”

“Of course,”

“And if he hurts you again, I will hunt him down and kill him."  
  
Rory laughed. “That, he definitely knows.”

“So, you and Jess huh?”

“Yeah,”

“Again,”

“Yeah,”

Lorelai hesitated slightly before asking, “Rory, could Jess be The Guy? Your forever guy?”

Rory blushed slightly, but didn’t hesitate. “Maybe. It definitely feels like he could be.”

“Wow,” Lorelai said, looking at Rory with a small smile. “I mean this is a ‘Wow’, right? It feels like a ‘Wow,’”

“Yeah, it’s definitely ‘Wow’, the best kind. The kind that scares the crap out of you.” Rory confirmed.

“I know the feeling, kid,” Lorelai said, looking down at her engagement ring with a twinkle in her eye. She looked up after a few seconds and sniffled softly. “I’m happy for you, Rory. Tell Jess I’ll get there, I promise. I just don’t do well with change, that’s all. But you and Jess, you deserve more than just a happy ending together if that’s what you’re meant for. You deserve a middle too. A deliriously happy middle.”

“What?” Rory asked with a slight laugh, hopelessly confused by her mother’s non-sequitur.

“Oh,” Lorelai said flicking her wrist and laughing, “when Luke and I hit a rough patch after your grandparents’ vow renewal, Sookie tried desperately to comfort me by telling me about a story she’d seen on Katie Couric about a couple who were hopelessly in love when they were young but broke up and ended up marrying other people, only to be reunited when they were like, eighty. It did absolutely nothing to comfort me because I didn’t want me and Luke to just have a happy ending –that wasn’t anywhere near good enough- I wanted us to have a middle –a life together. If you and Jess are really meant for each other, you deserve a deliriously happy middle, my sweet child.”

Rory laughed and took Lorelai’s hands. “Thanks, Mom. You and Luke are getting your middle together too. You’re going to have a very happy life with him. You were always meant for each other, it was just a matter of when the timing was right.”

“You too it seems like, with Jess I mean,” Lorelai said with a level of genuineness that took Rory by surprise

“Yeah, I guess so,” Rory said wistfully, a smile spreading across her face.

“Alright, shall we do this thing?”

Rory took a deep breath. “Yes, let’s.”

“I’ve got your back, kid,” Lorelai said with genuine sincerity, pulling Rory into a warm hug before they got out of the Jeep; holding hands as they approached the door and rang the doorbell.

* * *

“So Rory,” Emily said as they were all waiting for dessert to appear, “Logan is recovering quite nicely. I saw Shira at the club last week and she told me his rehab is going wonderfully; doctors say he’ll be able to walk without a cane soon.”

“That's great, Grandma,” Rory said with a passive smile before gulping her water.

“Really Rory, you can stop acting like the mention of his name is torture,” Emily said sharply.

“Actually, Grandma, it is, a little bit,” Rory snapped back. She knew where this was headed.

“Oh come now Rory, must you be so juvenile?” Richard asked earnestly. “It’s hardly becoming. The man has apologized for his indiscretion –repeatedly- why do you insist on being so childish? He loves you, Rory.”

“No, he doesn’t Grandpa. He cheated on me,” Rory’s voice was rising.

“Why are you being so stubborn Rory? We know you were at the hospital with him. Mitchum told me you gave him quite the tongue-lashing. _Demanding_ that he swallow his pride and get to New York to visit his son? That takes quite a bit of gall from you, young lady. Clearly you still have deep feelings for him, so why are you so unwilling to forgive him one mistake?”

“Okay, everyone calm down. Dad, Rory made her choice. Do you really want to pressure her back into a relationship with a man who cheated on her? Who betrayed her trust? I would have thought you’d want a better man for your granddaughter,” Lorelai cut in.

“It wasn’t just one mistake Grandpa. It was _half a dozen_ mistakes, back-to-back,” Rory clarified, watching Richard’s mouth fall open as she did.

“I beg your pardon?” he asked, visibly rattled.

“He didn’t just cheat on me once, or with one girl,” Rory alternated her gaze between Richard and Emily as she spoke, “he cheated on me with all of the women in his sister’s bridal party. I went to see him in the hospital to make sure he wasn’t dead, not because I still hold a torch for him. I called Mitchum because he was being an ass, refusing to even show up to help his critically injured son. So yeah, I called him and told him that he was being a narcissistic ass; to get over himself long enough to support his son.”

“If you went through all of that Rory, you must still care about him,” Emily said with an exasperated sigh.

“No Grandma,” Rory sighed, “I don’t. I actually hate him pretty fiercely these days. But I don’t want him dead. And someone needs to tell Mitchum Huntzberger when he’s being a prick; I didn’t see any volunteers, so I happily took one for the team!” she yelled.

“Such language Rory! I never,” Richard stammered, shaking his head.

“Really Dad, you’re calling her out for referring to the father of her cheating ex-boyfriend –a man who very nearly ruined her life- as a prick?” Lorelai interjected bitingly, “I think she’s earned a right to refer to either of the Huntzberger men however she damn well pleases. I know Logan has the perfect pedigree; he’s everything you wanted me to have. But pedigree aside, do you really want your precious Rory with a lying, cheating scumbag who throws himself off cliffs for hijinks? The best pedigree in the world doesn’t make him a good man.

“What’s next? Are you going to sell her off to the man with the most money and best society reputation, simply to uphold the Gilmore name? Arranged marriages are pretty outdated, let alone profitable ones, which are downright illegal in this fine country of ours. Rory made her choice. How about you try trusting that she made the right decision for herself? Although we share the same striking beauty and sparkling wit, she is not the screw up of this family. Rory isn’t the one you’re _really_ disappointed in. You shouldn’t be projecting your issues with me onto her. Got it?”

Lorelai glared at her parents until they both rolled their eyes and let out a heavy breath. This gesture signaled a short reprieve; after finding out the extent of Logan’s betrayal they softened and took some time to gather their thoughts. But Emily and Richard were far from done discussing the issue.

Richard sighed and tried a different tack. “How’s the wedding planning coming along, Lorelai?”

“It’s coming along fine Dad,” Lorelai said tersely, offering him a weak smile. He was trying. Richard didn’t crave conflict the way Emily seemed to and Lorelai knew her father was desperately trying to keep the peace.

“Has Luke given any more thought to franchising the diner?”

Lorelai sighed as she felt her sympathy for her father wane. “Yeah, Dad… franchising the diner really isn’t something that Luke is interested in.”

“I don’t know why he’s so against it. It is a very lucrative plan. He could be quite well off in a very short time.”

“Luke’s not broke Dad, he does fine.”

“But he has to think about the future Lorelai. It’s a man’s job to support the family, to take care of things. Does he know what he will do if his precious diner goes belly up one day? The economy is merciless on small businesses these days.”

“I work too, Dad. I own an inn, remember? I don’t need to be ‘taken care of’. Luke’s diner will not go out of business; it’s a Stars Hollow institution, the good people of our fine little town will keep that diner alive and thriving forever. Luke appreciates your offer, but he’s really not interested.”

Richard sighed again. “Fine. I suppose it’s the man’s prerogative…”

“I suppose you haven’t reconsidered letting the club host your wedding…” Emily offered.

“No, Mom. We haven’t reconsidered it. We’re getting married at the Drangonfly,” Lorelai said flatly.

“Really Lorelai, getting married at an inn?”

“What’s so wrong with that?”

“It’s just so…. quaint. You have wild animals housed right outside, near a garden of plants used for cooking; it’s unsanitary. Do you really want to run the risk of having traces of horse manure in your wedding food?”

“Mom,” Lorelai said with a laugh, “Sookie will make sure the food is manure free. You love Sookie’s food. Do you really think she would allow for anything but the best quality? Do you really think she would poison her best friend on her wedding day?”

“Last time I tasted Sookie’s food, she was cooking in a properly sanitized kitchen, far away from livestock and barns,” Emily said with a sideways glance.

“It will be fine mom, Sookie won’t pull a crazy lunch lady trick and poison the food. I promise. And Cletus will be far away from all food prep areas…”

“Cletus?”

“The horse.”

“Right. Of course,” Emily rolled her eyes and turned to Rory. “Now that you’ve dashed any hopes of a reconciliation with Logan, Rory, we’ll have to rethink the entire seating chart.”

“What?” Rory said, shocked and confused. “Why?”

“Well, you don’t have a plus one anymore. That’s one less mouth to feed; one less chair to fill. It changes everything.”

“No it doesn’t Grandma.”

“Yes it does Rory. You’ll have no one sitting next to you. It throws everything out of balance.”

Rory took a deep breath, knowing that the moment of truth was upon her. “I have someone to sit next to me Grandma.”

“Who?”

“Jess.”

“Jess?”

“You remember Jess, don’t you Grandma?” Rory asked slowly.

A scowl settled on Emily’s face and she let out an indignant huff of a breath. “I most certainly do. He’s the ruffian who showed up here late to dinner with a black eye and then stormed out without even eating or saying goodbye. Why in heaven’s name would he be sitting next to you? Why is he even going to be there?”

“Jess is Luke’s nephew, Grandma. He’s serving as Luke’s best man…”

“He’s what? Well I never…” Emily trailed off and shook her head in disgust.

Rory steadied herself and took advantage of the window. “And we’re together,” she said firmly, looking Emily squarely in the eye.

“You’re _what_? Rory, what is the meaning of this? I’ve never heard of anything so ridiculous in my life. You break up with Logan to run back to the arms of a hotheaded troublemaking thug… This is unacceptable Rory. I won’t allow it.”

“You won’t _allow it_?” Rory spat back, “I’m twenty-one years old Grandma, you can’t tell me what to do. You tried that once, remember? Remember how well that worked out?”

“You watch your tone with me, young lady.” Emily warned.

“Everyone just calm down,” Richard said. “Forgive me, but I’m awfully confused. Who is Jess? You’ve dated this young man before? What kind of name is that for a man? Isn’t ‘Jess’ a girl’s name? Who would give their son a girl’s name?”

“Jess is short for Jesse, Grandpa,” Rory said, rolling her eyes slightly.

“Ah. I will never understand the logic of the younger generation. Jesse is not a name that requires a short form of any kind, much less one that causes confusion with gender…”

“Richard!” Emily snapped. “This is not the time to muse about names and short forms and gender confusion. This young man leaves a path of destruction in his wake wherever he goes. You weren’t here for the travesty that was an attempt at a civilized meal. I told you about this boy as soon as you got back from your trip. His attitude is deplorable; he has no respect for anyone. He is an abominable thug and he is not good enough for Rory.”

“Ah, yes. I do remember hearing about this lad. It concerned me greatly to know Rory was associating with him,” Richard said gravely.

“Enough! Both of you!” Lorelai yelled. “Rory is more than old enough to make her own choices. You have no business passing judgment on the man she chooses to be with. You have no right to try and force her to go back to a man who cheated on her. You are not required to agree with her decisions, but you do have to respect them.”

“Jess is not a thug Grandma,” Rory said with conviction. “The night you met him was bad, yes. But he is not like that anymore. You cannot talk about him that way. You don’t even know him.”

“Oh, I think I do,” Emily said curtly.

“No! You don’t!” Rory yelled. “He’s changed. He is so very different from the guy you met so many years ago.”

“People like that don’t change Rory.”

“He has! I’ll have you know he’s part owner of a small publishing house in Philadelphia! He wrote a book! He’s made something of his life and you cannot pass judgment on him Grandma, it isn’t fair.”

“This is ridiculous Rory. Open your eyes. Stop being blinded by flights of fancy.”

“This isn’t a _flight of fancy_ Grandma. He’s made a good life for himself. And I’m sorry if you don’t approve, but we’re together. He loves me and I love him.”  
              
“Sure, he loves you now. Until he gets bored and moves on to some young bimbo who swoons at his ‘publishing career’.”

“I’m sorry Grandma, I think you’re confusing Jess with Logan. Logan was the one who got bored and fell into bed with a whole bridal party full of bimbos.”

Richard was gazing wildly between Rory and Emily, trying to keep up with their rapid fire. He was about to interject to try to get them to calm down when Rory spoke up again, her eyes brimming with tears.

“Please, Grandma, Grandpa,” she said, looking between Emily and Richard. “Jess is not a bad guy. He got me back to Yale.”

“I beg your pardon?” Emily asked.

“When did he do such a thing?” Richard added.

“When I was living here, after you moved me into Mom’s old bedroom. He came to see me in the winter, a few weeks after my birthday. Luke told him I was living here.”

“He was in this house?” Emily demanded.

“Yes,” Rory said. “That’s when he brought me his book. He had no idea what I was doing here. He came back the next night when you two were out, but he didn’t want to come back in the house.”

“The bedroom window, it had dents in it,” Emily said.

Rory gave a shaky nod. “He threw pebbles…”

“I fired a maid over that window.”

“That’s not the point. We went out. When Jess found out I dropped out of Yale, he yelled at me… a lot. He kept demanding to know what was going on, why I was acting so unlike myself. He sized Logan up the second he met him and asked me what I was doing with a jerk like him. It was Jess who brought me back to myself, not you guys, not Mom, not Luke and definitely not Logan.

“Jess is not who you think he is. If he were anything like what you’re saying, he wouldn’t have come all the way here to knock some sense back into me. You don’t have to approve, either of you. But you cannot disrespect him.”

Richard sighed heavily. “It appears,” he said slowly, “that we may have rushed to judgment.”

“Richard,” Emily warned.

Richard raised his large hand slowly, signaling Emily to let him finish. “If what you say is true Rory, then we owe this fellow a debt of thanks.”

“Wow Dad,” Lorelai said sincerely, “way to be levelheaded.”

“I am a reasonable man, Lorelai. If this… Jess …. did indeed have a hand in setting Rory back on her path, then he does deserve our respect. Rory, tell me about this publishing house he works at.”  
              
Rory looked at her grandfather gratefully, offering him a small smile. She let herself relax just a little bit. “It’s called Truncheon Books. Jess released his book, _The Sub Sect_ through them almost a year ago and they brought him on as a partial owner about ten months back. Jess works with four other guys and they put out three to four books a month, plus a ‘zine,”  
              
“I’m sorry… a ‘zine’?” Richard asked.

“Magazine,” Rory laughed.

“And how long have you been back together with this young man?”  
              
“About three months,”

“Well, it sounds like he’s done alright for himself, eh? You see, Emily? Perfectly respectable.”

Emily laughed haughtily under her breath and gave a tiny nod.

Richard locked eyes with his wife for a brief second, then turned his attention back to Rory and gave her a warm smile. “I look forward to meeting him, Rory. Please tell him so.”

“I will, Grandpa,” Rory smiled back.

* * *

“So, all in all, not so bad,” Lorelai said as they drove back to Stars Hollow.  
              
“Are you kidding? I feel like I survived a war,” Rory said.  
              
“Well, you did. That was nothing. Remember when we buried the hatchet after their vow renewal? Reinstating Friday night dinners after _that_ was a war. This was only a heated battle. A tiny one, all things considered.”

“Should I be worried that it wasn’t harder?”

“I think you should be grateful that your grandfather has a soft spot for you,” Lorelai said with a smile. “But be prepared for a sneak attack second wave at some point. Gilmores don’t lay down after only one round.”

“Oh boy,” Rory said with a sigh.

“Jess owes you. His new thing for honestly is harder on you than it is on him.”

“He knows.”  
  
Luke was cleaning the counters in the diner when he turned around at the sound of the door opening. “How’d it go?” he asked cautiously.

“Xena’s got nothing on our girl here,” Lorelai said. “She put up one hell of a fight; this round goes to the kid.”

Luke let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, good.”  
  
“Way to instill confidence there, Danes. Breathe. You’re getting pale,” Lorelai said, rubbing Luke’s arm.  
  
“Sorry,” Luke said quickly. “You’re a braver soldier than I, Rory. Your grandparents are terrifying. Sneaky, too. Where did they learn to insult people without uttering one negative syllable? It’s an art.”  
  
“I’m pretty sure it was something they were born with,” Rory admitted with a slight smile. “Did they really freak you out that much, Luke?”

“Yes. Yes they certainly did. Your mom tried to warn me, but I was foolish; I thought she was exaggerating.”

“Me? Exaggerate? When have I ever been dramatic about my parents and been wrong?” Lorelai asked.

“Do you actually want me to answer you, or should I just say never?”

Lorelai smacked Luke’s arm in response.  
              
“Right. Never. Never ever.”

“My father urged you to reconsider franchising the diner by the way. He says you have a family to provide for now. You need to start earning those Benjamin’s hand over fist to pay for my expensive taste. Nothing but Tiffani’s and Dom Perignon for this lady.”

“I hate champagne.”  
  
“I care not for your tastes, lowly diner owner. I will not be denied my extravagances. My father says you must sell your soul to the cash cow, and so it shall be done!”

“Is she drunk?”

“No,” Rory said with a laugh. “She’s just being Lorelai. You have a lifetime of this ahead of you Luke, _and_ dinners with my grandparents. Get used to it.”

Luke rolled his eyes. “Love makes you do the wacky…” he muttered under his breath.

“Wait. Luke, how did you even know I told my grandparents about Jess tonight? Mom only realized her efforts to get me to stall even more had failed when we were driving out there…”  
  
“I told him,” Jess said, appearing at the bottom of the stairs behind the counter.  
  
“Jess!” Rory squealed excitedly, running towards him. “What are you doing here?”

Jess started making his way over to Rory as she ran, the two of them meeting in the middle in a tight embrace. “Hi,” he whispered into her hair.

Rory didn’t answer, she just tightened her grip on him. “I thought we were missing each other this weekend,” she said after a long silence. “You and the guys had all those manuscripts to get through.”

“I have to go back tomorrow night,” Jess said reluctantly. “But I knew tonight would be a bit rough on you. I told you, I know how hard talking to your grandparents must have been. I knew I couldn’t really do anything to make the actual conversation easier, but I figured I owed you. Besides, the guys owed me. I convinced them to give me twenty-four hours leave.”

“Oh my God, our minds are melding!” Lorelai said suddenly, shattering the bubble surrounding Rory and Jess. “I was just telling Rory that you owed her big time, Jess. I admire that you’re suddenly such a standup guy, so big with the honesty. But this is harder on her than it is on you.”

“Mom…” Rory started.

“I know it is,” Jess said sincerely.

Lorelai sighed and slowly walked over to Jess. “I know you know,” she said quietly, giving him a small smile. In spite of herself, seeing Jess step up and support Rory, knowing the effort he went to in order to be here for her in this moment and watching them embrace now, Lorelai felt a lump rise in her throat. She was starting to see the love he had for her and Lorelai was relieved.

She walked around the two of them without another word, not wanting to shatter the moment between them completely; Luke followed her silently, locking Rory and Jess together in the diner as they left, smiling as he watched them continue to hold each other through the window.

Rory and Jess stood together for a long time. “I’m glad you’re here,” Rory whispered against his shoulder.

“Me too. Are you okay? I heard Xena’s got nothing on you…” Jess said with a crooked grin.

“I’m okay,” Rory nodded. “Better now.”

* * *

Back at the Gilmore mansion, Emily and Richard were deep in discussion.  
  
“This won’t do. It just won’t do, Richard,” Emily shook her head.

“I realize it is not an ideal circumstance, Emily,” Richard agreed. “But you really mustn’t let yourself get so carried away in the moment. You can see it gets you nowhere.”

“I know, I’m sorry Richard. It’s just… how many times can that girl keep falling into the arms of unsuitable ex-boyfriends?”

“If memory serves, she’s out of unsuitable ex-boyfriends to find her way back to. Clearly Logan’s transgressions were more serious than we first thought. I don’t think she was lying about that. We can’t expect them to get back together. We’ll simply have to find her another appropriate gentleman. We’ve done it before.”

“Richard, it won’t be as simple as throwing a party this time. You heard her. Apparently Jess works at a publishing house, he wrote a book; he’s no longer _completely_ directionless.”

“Just because the boy wrote one book that he managed to have published by a small press does not make him Marcel Proust, Emily. It doesn’t even make him a poor man’s Hemingway. This ‘Truncheon Books’ of his sounds like it’s barely making waves, even for a small press. Really, the profit margins on three or four books a month are laughable. No writer is going to be discovered at a publishing house so insignificant; their entire roster is probably comprised of young ‘writers’ who can do nothing more than string a pretty sentence together.

“We need to give Rory time. Even if he did have something to do with getting her back to Yale, it doesn’t make him appropriate for her. For heaven’s sake, it doesn’t even sound like he went to college himself. If she doesn’t have this boy out of her system by the time the hullabaloo from Lorelai’s wedding has died down, we will fix it. We’ll help her come to her senses. But in the meantime Emily, we must pacify her. We must play nice.”   



	16. Chapter 16

Lorelai and Luke’s June third wedding was two weeks away. Jess and Rory were together and happy and the people of Stars Hollow had mostly stopped taking bets on when their relationship would implode. But still, Jess felt uneasy as he drove the quiet familiar streets on his way to Rory’s house.

That was the problem –this place was too damn quiet. Nothing ever happened here, aside from things out of bad comedy sketches. Stars Hollow encapsulated every episode of _Leave it to Beaver, The Brady Bunch_ and _The Facts of Life,_ all rolled into one, weirdly dysfunctional utopian town. Gossiping was a way of life, because no one here had anything better to do. Between gossiping and an odd predilection to come up with every conceivable festival or mundane occurrence to throw a celebration for, the collective dance card of Stars Hollow was full.

As he stopped at the town’s only traffic light outside of Luke’s diner, Jess sneered as he saw a plaque affixed to its post: _Proudly keeping the citizens of Stars Hollow safer since October 16 th, 2001._ “Make me yak,” he muttered. He heard about the ‘unveiling’ when he arrived in Stars Hollow two weeks later; he almost wished he’d been around for it –he would have snuck out the night before and cut the power, to save that poor old lady from having to hobble so painfully slowly across the street for the inaugural ‘crossing’.

He turned his head to steal a quick look inside the diner. Jess felt a grin pulling at his lips as he remembered bringing Rory a care package of food, shielding her head from falling debris with an umbrella and the time she stole a passionate kiss the day after he’d stormed out of dinner with her grandmother.

As Jess sat staring into the diner, he locked eyes with Kirk and plastered a warm smile on his face, giving a hearty wave with his free hand. Kirk went stone faced and slithered down in his chair until he disappeared under the table. Jess saw his gangly legs sticking out on the floor, shaking like weak tree branches blowing in the breeze. “Not everything about this town sucks; some things will never stop being fun,” he said to himself as the light changed and he continued down the street.

When Jess turned his black Mazda 3 into the driveway of Rory’s house, Lorelai’s Jeep was the only vehicle in sight. Rory’s car was nowhere to be found. “Hey,” he said when she picked up her cell phone. “I thought you were going to be at your mom’s this afternoon?”

“Crap! Jess, I’m sorry! My Grandma called me this afternoon and invited me to have tea with some of the women from the DAR. ‘Invited’ is being polite actually. She wrangled me; you know how she is. She told me it wouldn’t be too long and I’d make it home in plenty of time. That was over an hour ago.”

Jess sighed. “I thought you weren’t in the DAR anymore. Why is she still making you plan tea parties?”

“I’m not in the DAR anymore,” Rory assured him. “This isn’t an actual tea party, its just tea with a bunch of my Grandma’s friends. Evidently they are very upset that I’ve relinquished my party planning duties. Apparently they’ve been asking Grandma about me for months.”

“Yeah, because God forbid their favourite party planner return to her pursuit of an Ivy League education…”

“Jess, I like these women. It’s been nice to catch up with them. None of them are actually mad that I went back to Yale.”

“I don’t suppose your grandmother that knows we had plans to rendezvous at your house, does she?”

“No. Are you kidding? If she knew you were waiting for me, she’d lock the doors and never let me leave. I told her I had plans with Mom. She said Mom could wait.”

“Well, that’s reassuring. I think. Can you get away soon?”

“I think so. Like I said, I’ve been here for over an hour, which is way over the bare minimum. Go inside, hang out with Mom. I promise I’ll be home within an hour.”

Jess sighed again. “What am I supposed to talk to your mom about for an hour? She’s barely warming up to me when she sees us together…”

Now it was Rory’s turn to sigh. “I know. I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay, Ror.”

“Can you go to Luke’s?”

“Now? At five o’clock on a Thursday? I’ll take my chances with your mom. Besides, he’s slammed. I called him before I left Philadelphia. He told me to get in a few extra hours with you before we get caught up in all the wedding prep details; said we wouldn’t have much of a weekend together, so we should take advantage.”

“That’s so sweet!”

“Yeah, he’s a real prince, making me come all the way here for a suit fitting when I _know_ there are better tailors in Philadelphia and New York –tailors that operate out of a tailor shop, not Al’s Pancake World. It’s too bad your grandmother’s souring the gesture.”

After a few beats of silence, Rory became resolute. “I will be home in under an hour. I promise. Wait five minutes before you knock on the door, okay?”

“Why?”

“Just do what I tell you, Dodger.”

“Oooo I love it when you’re bossy, Gilmore. Fine.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too,” Jess said before he flipped his phone closed.

Rory laughed quietly as she dialed Lorelai’s cell phone number. “Mom, I’m trapped at Grandma’s, having tea with DAR ladies. I’m going to be late getting home to meet Jess; he should be showing up any minute. Can you entertain him until I get home? It should be less than an hour.”

“Wow. I don’t know where I should start with that one. Too! Many! Puns!” Lorelai laughed. “You’re trapped at grandma’s? She must have covered her Big Bad Wolf face with her Docile, Passive Aggressive Grandmother mask, because I know you wouldn’t have fallen for that if she was flashing fangs and stroking the hairs on her chinny chin, chin.”

“Mom…”

“You know the Shawshank Redemption like the back of your hand. Tell everyone that hope is what gets you through your days; hope that one day, you will be released from the mansion behind the rod Iron Gate to see your true love _before_ you serve two life sentences, _because he isn’t dead_. If they scoff, threaten to hang yourself.”

“Mom…”

“You want me to ‘entertain’ Jess?”

“Not ‘entertain’ like _entertain_ , entertain. You don’t have to say that like you’re Elizabeth Berkley in _Showgirls_.”

“Okay, ew…”

“Mom, just find something to talk to him about until I get there. You’re great at talking,”

“What am I supposed to talk to him about? I’m barely at the point where I can figure out what to say to him when the two of you are here together. You’re my buffer. How am I supposed to talk to him without my buffer?” Loerlai implored.

“Talk about me?” Rory offered.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? ‘So Jess, this is my box of mementos from the night Rory was born. This is the issue of _Teen Beat_ I was reading and that’s the wrapper from the burrito I was eating; you know at first I thought labour pains were indigestion –if you look closely enough, there might still be a bit of the burrito left…’”

“Okay!” Rory yelled, cutting her mother off. “I take it back. Don’t talk about me.”

“Exactly. What do I do? You’re the smart one.”

“Mom, you and Jess have a lot in common. Pick a pop culture thing and run with it. He might surprise you. I gotta go, the DAR vultures are circling and I need to make it out of here before the chef makes another round of finger sandwiches.”

“Godspeed, my child. Hurry!”

“I will. Don’t scare him away before I get home.”

“I can’t promise that. Which is why you should hurry.” Lorelai sighed as she hung up her phone. “All we have to do is talk,” she said to herself quietly. “How bad could that possibly be? Rory’s right, I love talking! Pop culture reference. Easy. This should be a breeze. Remember, he’s not the troublemaker he used to be. He’s mature, grown up and he loves Rory, you know he does, you’ve seen it….” Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. “Oh boy, here we go.” She took a deep breath, trying to allow her face to relax into a natural smile before she opened the door.

“Hi, Lorelai,” Jess said with an awkward smile when the door opened.

“Hey, Jess. Come in!” Lorelai said, ushering him forward with her free hand. “Rory’s stuck at the Gulag with her grandmother. I keep telling that girl, she is too nice. She needs to be meaner. Anyway, she should be here in an hour or so. Hang out! Wait for her.”

“Thanks. I know. She told me,” Jess said as he stepped inside.

“Of course she did. Never misses a beat, that one. Can I get you anything? Water? Pop Tarts? Beer? You can have beer now you know; you’re twenty-one, it’s legal. I promise I won’t snatch it away from you and yell at you for raiding my fridge. Of course you won’t be raiding my fridge, I’m offering to get it for you. Beer and Pop Tarts make an oddly good combination for a late afternoon snack, actually. I know what you’re thinking, ‘Grossest thing ever!’ but I promise, it’s weirdly satisfying and doesn’t cause the stomachache you’d expect. I’m hoping it’ll catch on as a delicacy, like ‘the best thing since milk and cookies,’ but for adults. Mostly because of the beer, not so much because of the Pop Tarts because Pop Tarts are totally kid friendly…” Lorelai stopped to catch her breath.

A single chuckle escaped Jess’ lips.

“I’m rambling, aren’t I? Like, not normal rambling, but crazy person rambling.”

“Little bit.”

“Sorry. Rory gave me explicit instructions not to scare you away. I’m probably off to a bad start, huh?”

“S’okay. I’m used to rambling Gilmores. Pretty huge fan of the younger generation, actually. The way her mouth goes too fast for her brain is quite endearing. You taught her well,” Jess said with a tiny wink.

“Oh. Complimenting my rambling is better than complimenting my shoes! Thank you! I’m glad Rory has The Gift. If she didn’t, I’d be seriously disappointed in the way I raised her.”

“Your legacy will live on. Promise,”

“Good,” Lorelai said with a genuine smile. “So, do you want anything?”

“Water’s fine.”

“You sure you don’t want a beer? Your drive must’ve been pretty long. It’s after five, relax! Kick your feet up! If you have a beer, I’ll have one with you. I won’t make you drink alone.”

Jess was momentarily stunned at the idea of having a beer with Rory’s mom, but he could think of many other awkward ways to pass the time which were far worse than attempting friendly conversation over a beer. It would at least do something to calm their nerves; Jess was a master at hiding his anxiety, but it was definitely there, bubbling right underneath the surface. It was clear that Lorelai wore her anxiousness on her sleeve. This situation –the two of them _hanging out_ \- was weird and uncharted territory. A beer apiece might do them both a lot of good. After a lengthy pause, he said, “Sure, okay. A beer would actually be real good after that drive. But just one. And hold the Pop Tarts…”

“You sure? Best thing since milk and cookies…” Lorelai teased.

“I’m sure.”

“Okay. One beer, coming up. Make yourself comfy. I’ll be right back.”

When Lorelai disappeared into the kitchen, Jess wandered into the living room. He was immediately drawn to the fireplace mantle, once again gazing intently at all the pictures of Rory; just like he had the very first time he came to the house. He picked up a frame that held a photo from Rory’s Chilton graduation. Rory was flanked by her grandparents on one side, with Luke and Lorelai on the other. He ran a finger along the outline of her face, sighed heavily and clenched his jaw. “I should’ve been there,” he whispered to himself remorsefully.  
  
After a few seconds of staring, he returned the frame to its spot on the mantle and sat down on the couch. He was hardly ever there, but he really liked this house. It was warm and inviting. It wasn’t just a house; it was a home. It was more of a home than Jess had ever had.

Lorelai had reappeared by the time Jess had scanned his surroundings. “You renovated,” Jess said as Lorelai handed him a beer.

“Yeah, a little. The biggest change is upstairs, in the master bedroom. God, I can’t believe I have a master bedroom…. Anyway, the main floor is pretty much the same,” Lorelai answered as she sat down next to Jess.

“Walls are a different colour,”

“Don’t get me started,”

“A little indecisive, were you?” Jess asked, taking a swig of his beer.

“Very. Your uncle was ready to kill me,”

“I bet.”

“How’d you know?”

“You and your daughter share many qualities.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Lorelai said, clinking Jess’ bottle before they both took a drink.

“I bet Luke didn’t help with making the decision either, huh?”

“No, not really. But, in fairness he did make almost every other decision that needed making. Plus, I nearly bit his head off if he had an opinion about wall colour that I didn’t agree with. Eventually, I had so many opinions and changed my mind so much that he just gave up. After that, he refused to have any part in the decision. He had fun pestering me to make up my mind though.”

“Hey, wall colour’s important. You’re stuck with it for a long time, and in a not small amount either. You can’t rush a decision like that. Can you imagine, on a day when you feel particularly whimsical, deciding ‘You know what? I think red is a good colour for a room. The living room,’ and painting it before you have a chance to really think? Then, boom, suddenly you’re living in a real life version of terrifying Lynchian surrealism.”

Lorelai’s jaw dropped. “Oh God, no wonder I hated the idea of red! I mean I considered it very briefly, but –”  
              
“You realized it would be insane?”

“Yes! And I wasn’t even thinking about _Twin Peaks_ at the time but oh God! That would have been awful. You know, I haven’t been able to sit on the floor behind a couch since 1990.”

“I don’t blame you. I hate pink couches. But the fact that they’re pink has nothing do with why I hate them…”

“I hear ya…” Lorelai said with a shudder. She took a long drink and stared intently at Jess.

“What?” Jess asked slowly.

Lorelai shook her head as though she were searching it to find a thought that was hiding. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a dead ringer for a young Sylvester Stallone?”

“Excuse me?”

“So that’d be a ‘no’, then?”

“Nope. Never.”

“Well you are. Dead ringer. Hair, eyes, face shape –check, check and check. He even has that crooked mouth thing,” Lorelai said, pointing to the left corner of Jess’ lips.

“The nerves are dead,” Jess said casually. “Never been able to move that side properly.”

“Holy crap! Stallone has the same thing! The dead nerves thing! Seriously, you’re telling me you’ve never looked at a picture of Stallone and thought, ‘Daddy!’?”

Jess let out a deep laugh. “Not until now. But I’ll tell ya, Stallone would’ve been a better dad than the loser I got stuck with.”

Suddenly, Lorelai’s cheeks started burning. “Oh, God. Foot in mouth. Jess, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to –”

“It’s okay, Lorelai,”

“No! It’s not. I’m stupid, unfeeling, heartless. I bet you don’t think that the rambling is so endearing now, do you?” Just like that, Lorelai felt like she couldn’t take in any air. Her hands started to shake and she mumbled a few more false starts at apologizing.

“Lorelai, I promise, it’s okay. Breathe,” Jess said, reaching over to stroke her arm lightly. He did it instinctively, before he had time to overthink the potential weirdness of penetrating the personal space bubble.

Lorelai took a few deep breaths and held Jess’ gaze earnestly. His understanding and calm took her by surprise. She tried to swallow, but her mouth was like sandpaper and her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth."

“Take a drink,” Jess said, nodding to the beer bottle trembling in her hand.

Lorelai did as she was told and took a long pull on her beer. Slowly, she felt the blood flow return to her face and her shaking subsided.

“Better?”

“Better,” Lorelai said with a weak nod.

Jess smiled slightly and released her arm. “Do you need some sugar? If you play your cards right, here, you may be able to wrangle me into trying your famous Pop Tarts and beer combo…”

“No,” she laughed. “I’m okay. Thank you though.”

“Sure. I can’t stand to see Gilmore women in distress, so _thank you_ for being so easy to calm, otherwise that could’ve gotten a whole lot weirder.”

“Even Emily?” Lorelai asked with a smile.

“No offense to Rory’s grandmother, but no. That woman can fend for herself. You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good.” Suddenly she understood very well why Rory gravitated towards him. Jess had a quiet strength and stoicism that Lorelai had never had the opportunity to see before; she could see why Rory loved him. “I really am sorry,” she said after a long silence.

Jess sighed. “Jimmy is who he is. I didn’t stay in California long after I left here. I thought Jimmy was ready to turn over a new leaf a few years back, but that guy doesn’t change. I haven’t seen him in almost three years; never hear from him either. I spent a long time being furious with him; furious at myself for opening up, trying to let him in, believing he could change. I don’t know, I guess I’ve just realized within the last year that being mad at him is a waste of energy. Some people were just never meant to be parents.

“At least Liz was able to recognize that she wasn’t a very stable parental figure. Of course, kid like me didn’t bring out any of the redeeming qualities of motherhood either,” Jess laughed under his breath and started peeling the label off his beer. “God I was furious with her when she sent me here, but she was just doing what she thought was best. She wanted me to have a shot at a decent life, which she knew she wouldn’t be able to give me.”

“You know, I think that’s the most I’ve heard you speak since the day I met you?” Lorelai asked softly.

“Geez, sorry. Now who’s rambling, huh?” Jess blushed.

“It’s okay. I understand exactly where you’re coming from.”

“How’s that?”

Lorelai shifted slightly to face Jess on the couch. “Well. I know you haven’t spent an excess of quality time with Rory’s grandparents, but I’m sure you know enough about them and their world to figure out that their only child getting knocked up at sixteen was not in their master plan. I’ve clashed severely with my parents for my entire life. I was born into their world, but I never belonged there. Hell, I never even _wanted_ to belong there. As a kid, I never wanted for anything and my parents loved me so much, they still do. But I am not like them. I never was. They gave me everything I could ever want or ask for, except enough freedom to be my own individual.

“When I got pregnant with Rory, it was like a huge slap in the face. The ultimate failure of the Yale educated Connecticut businessman and his elite and highly influential society wife. I became a stain on the Gilmore name. They tried to get me to marry Rory’s father –and he was eager to give them their wish- as a last ditch effort to save face. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be who they wanted me to be. So I left. The only way for me to be able to be free to be who I wanted to be was for me to leave. I was sixteen, pregnant, alone and absolutely terrified, but staying in that house would’ve scared me more than leaving, because if I stayed, my life would never be my own. I wouldn’t have been able to raise such an amazing kid if I wasn’t a terrified single mother all alone. If I’d stayed in that house, I don’t know who either of us would be now.

“For very different reasons Jess, you and I both had to learn to protect ourselves and survive without anyone’s help.”

“Lorelai,” Jess said thickly, “I’m sorry. I was a punk back then. You and Luke were just trying to help; I know that now. I was a jerk. I was a jerk to everyone. And Rory, I know I hurt her too, a lot. I don’t blame you for trying to keep her away from me.”

“Yeah, fat lot of good that did,” Lorelai said playfully. “Rory is my child and I love her more than anything in the universe, but she’s not perfect, Jess. You both made mistakes. Carrying that burden of guilt must be exhausting, so stop. Let yourself rest. In a relationship, you’re not supposed to bear that kind of burden alone.

“Listen, I know I haven’t made any of this easy on you these last few months. But that’s over now. New leaf, promise.”

Jess cocked an eyebrow.

“Aw God! Again with the foot in the mouth!”

“Don’t hyperventilate again,” Jess warned.

“I won’t, I won’t,” Lorelai sighed. “My point is, all that bad stuff happened a long time ago. Yeah, you were a punk, but you’re not anymore. Trust me when I say that I went through my own versions of all the phases you were working through a couple of years ago. You and me, Jess? We’re two sides of the same coin. You don’t have to prove anything to me, not anymore. You don’t have to apologize for any of that anymore.”

“But, I –”

“Let me finish. I don’t want apologies for anything from back then anymore. It isn’t necessary. But, consider yourself warned: If you break my daughter’s heart _in any way_ , I will hunt you down and give you what’s coming to you.”

“I love her Lorelai, more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything in my life,” Jess implored.

“I know,” Lorelai whispered, swallowing the lump in her throat. “I don’t think that’s new either,” she added sagely. “But trust me, love doesn’t protect anyone from a broken heart. Love isn’t magic. Just don’t hurt her. She loves you, just like you love her. She’s never loved anyone the way she loves you. The two of you have something real and rare, so be careful. This might be your last chance to make it work. This thing between the two of you has withstood a lot and if you let it drop again, it might shatter. You might not be able to put it together again. Trust me, I know,” she said, blinking back her tears before they could fall.

“I promise,” Jess said simply. Lorelai never asked him to promise anything, but it just felt like the right thing to say.

“You’re the only one,” Lorelai said quietly, almost to herself.

“What?” Jess asked. He was stunned as he heard Lorelai speak the same words Rory had about a month before, stopping short in exactly the same place.

Lorelai forced herself to take a few deep breaths. She reached out and took Jess’ hand tentatively. “You’re the only man who’s loved her without expecting her to change. You love her for who she is, not who you wish she was or who you want her to be. Thank you, for loving my little girl Jess. Thank you for loving her just the way she is.”


	17. Chapter 17

“Paris’ boyfriend is fucking weird,” Jess said, balancing his cell phone between his ear and his shoulder as he packed.

“You say that like you expected a boyfriend of Paris’ to be normal,” Rory said with a laugh as she carefully took her bridesmaid dress out of the closet with her free hand.

“Well no. No offense to Paris, but she’s pretty weird herself. They’re perfect for each other.”

“So, you’re basing your description of his weirdness on what, exactly? I mean, it’s not that I don’t agree with you, Doyle is definitely an… acquired taste; but we only spent a few hours with them last weekend and he acted perfectly normal. Trust me, you don’t even know the half of his strangeness…”

“Who gets infuriated at being told they look _exactly_ like Jonathan from _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_?”

“Oh, that.”

“Yeah, that. What’s his problem? _Buffy_ was a brilliant show. Joss Whedon is a mastermind. Being told you look like one of the show’s most memorable characters is a compliment of the highest order.”

 “I don’t think it’s the first time he’s heard the comparison. I agree, _Buffy_ is one of the best shows in television history. But on a show full of strong, kick ass women and highly attractive men, more than a few of whom were vampires, you’re telling me you can’t understand why being told you’re a doppelganger of the biggest nerd on the show might be a bit disappointing?”   

“Again, I default to my original statement –Whedon is a mastermind. If my name were uttered in comparison to any of the characters he’s responsible for or the actors he’s worked with, it’d be better than winning the lottery. Doyle’s got a bug up his ass. Telling him there was a character on _Angel_ who has the same name as him just made him madder, too! He’s insane,”

“Okay, if I didn’t agree with you wholeheartedly about Whedon being a genius, I’d be thinking _you_ were the weirdo right about now. But I think asking Doyle to say the line, ‘You all think I’m an idiot, a short idiot,’ while pretending to hold a shotgun might have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. He’s seen the show and he actually likes it a lot; did you have to pick the scene when Jonathan’s in the clock tower of the school ready to kill himself for Doyle to reenact?”

Jess chuckled, “Nah, but hearing him say, ‘You all think I’m an idiot, a short idiot,’ was just too good to pass up. I couldn’t resist.”

“You are such an evil man, Mariano. But you’re right, it was pretty fun,” Rory said with a giggle. “So when are you getting here?”

“I should be there just after lunchtime. Are you heading to the Dragonfly now?”

It was Thursday June first, two days before the wedding that all of Stars Hollow had been waiting for.

“Yeah, it just makes sense to stay there all weekend. With the rehearsal and stuff tomorrow, it doesn’t make much sense to be going back and forth.”

“Cool, I’ll head straight there then. Are we sharing a room?”

“Yes we are,” Rory said, grinning.

"Good. I am very much looking forward to being able to have my way with the maid of honour at every available opportunity,” Jess said with a devilish grin that he knew Rory could hear in his voice.

“Don’t think that you’re the only one who’s going to be having their way. I have some tricks of my own, you know…” Rory said seductively.

“I thank God all the time that you’re not the least bit prudish…”

“Yeah, I bet you do,” Rory said with a laugh. After a pause, she asked sincerely, “God, Jess, can you believe they’re finally getting married?”

“Yeah, actually I can. I may have been a punk, mouthing off about it every chance I got, but your mom and Luke belong together. I’m happy for them. It really is kinda like destiny,” Jess said sincerely.

“’Destiny’? Who are you and what have you done with Jess Mariano? When did the curmudgeon disappear and this softy take his place?”

“Almost four months ago, when the love of his life came back to him. He figured he should stop dicking around because he couldn’t ever lose her again.” Jess caught himself refer to Rory as ‘the love of his life’ and waited to feel the inevitable contempt that went hand-in-hand with any time he let himself sound so clichéd. But he was surprised when the contempt didn’t sneak in at all. A cliché isn’t a cliché if it’s true, and it was; Rory was the love of Jess’ life and he would never have another.

Rory’s eyes welled up with tears and she felt a lump rise in her throat. She breathed in and out a few times in absolute silence, to regain her composure. “You’re such a sap. It’s disgusting,” she deadpanned.

“Man I know, I hate it,” Jess said with an air of self-deprecating sarcasm. “Alright I gotta go finish packing and hit the road. I’ll see you soon Ror, I love you.”

“Love you too, see you in a bit.” As she hung up the phone and continued to get ready to head to the Dragonfly, Rory was surprised at how suddenly it hit her –she wanted to be with Jess forever; they didn’t necessarily have to get married any time soon –or even at all- but she did want to spend the rest of her life with him. Of that, she couldn’t be more certain. 

* * *

 Jess got to the Dragonfly around one-thirty. He could hear the hustle and bustle of activity before he even got out of the car. For a fleeting instant, he broke out into a cold sweat. No more dealing with Stars Hollow in small manageable doses; he’d be in it head first all weekend.

Then, when he remembered he’d be interacting with Rory’s grandparents on top of it all, his pulse started to race and he was suddenly very dizzy. He flipped down his visor mirror to inspect his reflection and found that he was white as a ghost. “Jesus Christ Mariano, get a fucking grip,” he muttered to himself. He screwed his eyes shut tightly and ran a shaky hand through his dark hair, balling his fingers into a fist and punching the steering wheel before letting out an unsteady breath.

As he opened his eyes upon exhaling, he spotted Rory curled up on a giant porch swing with a book, completely oblivious to the mayhem going on around her. Instantly, Jess relaxed and felt his sense of equilibrium return. Slowly, his heart rate returned to normal and his dizziness subsided. He felt his lips unconsciously dance upward, into a warm smile. As long as Jess had Rory, nothing else mattered; he could accomplish anything –even a weekend wedding packed with farcical Stars Hollow town folk, his mother and Rory’s grandparents. As long as he had the love of the woman swinging gently on the porch, he would always be able to find the strength to persevere.

“Hey nerd,” he said as he walked up the front steps.

Rory jumped with such a start that she almost dropped her book, which would have ripped the pages out of one of her favourite novels.

“Sorry,” Jess whispered softly, squatting down in front of her and caressing her face before leaning in for a kiss “I didn’t mean to scare you. What’re you reading?”

Rory held her book up for Jess to see; it was a vintage edition of _Wuthering Heights_.

Jess laughed. “Seriously?”

“What do you mean, ‘Seriously?’ This is an amazing love story, Jess.”

“Sure, no, yeah. Of course it is. Catherine and Heathcliff are madly in love but can’t be together because he’s below her station, so she marries a guy she doesn’t love to keep her honour and then she dies in childbirth halfway through. Heathcliff forms a radical obsession with his deceased love’s daughter –also named Catherine, looks just like her too, confusing much?- and goes insane over the love he never got to have. He begs Catherine to haunt him. It’s the epitome of love –and despair and insanity and quite possibly incest too. Perfectly beautiful love story to be reading days before your mother’s wedding.”

“Catherine and Heathcliff’s love transcends the physical world, remember? ‘Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same.’ It’s a beautiful story of undying love.”

“Yeah, undying love that you actually have to die for. That’s not crazy at all…” Jess scoffed with a playful smirk.

“Okay, smartass, what’d you bring?”

Jess fished two worn novels out of his small messenger bag and showed them to Rory: _The Bell Jar_ and _Atonement_.

“Oh yeah, because those are so much more uplifting,” Rory said sarcastically. She pointed to _The Bell Jar._ “Esther Greenwood chases her dreams but can never catch them. She was on a perfectly amazing journey of self-discovery, learning how to love herself until she was locked away, essentially pushed to insanity, never to have a normal life.

“And _Atonement_ , seriously? Briony Tallis is a tyrant, accusing Robbie of raping Cecelia because she’s in love with her sister’s boyfriend –and if Briony can’t have Robbie, no one can. She accuses Robbie of something she knows he didn’t do, which gets him hauled off to jail, and then World War II; Robbie and Cecelia never see each other again. And then Briony –a successful author, no doubt because of her knack for lying- has the gall to write a novel to give Robbie and Cecelia ‘their happiness by being together in the end’, because the actual ending –the truth- could give no hope or satisfaction to her readers. Self-important, ego driven bitch…”

As Rory stopped to catch her breath, Jess burst out laughing. “Holy shit, you have no idea how much I love you.”

“You have no call to be mocking the eternal love of Catherine and Heathcliff when one of your books involves a protagonist driven to insanity in her quest for love and the other tells the story of a pathological liar who ruined lives and then demands to be the center of attention and wholeheartedly forgiven,” Rory said playfully. “What do _your_ literary choices for the weekend of your uncle’s wedding say about you, hmmm?”

“Fine, make sure Catherine and Heathcliff are aware of how sorry I am for mocking their ‘transcendent love’ –”

“He said mockingly,” Rory said with a pout. “Just for that, I’m not telling you what other books I have with me…”

“Well, I’m not planning on giving you a lot of time to read,” Jess said seductively as he gently took her book away from her, kissing her passionately. Before long, Rory’s fingers twisted into Jess’ hair and they were groaning into each other’s mouths, tongues battling for dominance.

After a few seconds, Rory pulled away reluctantly. “We can’t start doing this here, now. Everyone’s right inside.”

Jess sighed heavily and sat down next to Rory on the porch swing. “I know. God I hate being mature.”

“Poor boy,” Rory said, running her fingers through his hair again. As always, he leaned into her touch. “Tonight,” she whispered in his ear. “After you spend the night conversing with my grandparents, you’ll have earned something very special,”

“Oh Christ Rory, your grandparents. How will they –? I mean what am I supposed to say if they –? What if they still think I’m –?

“Everything will be fine,” Rory said simply. “You can take ‘em,”

“Rory, this is serious,” Jess implored.

“I know, but it will be fine. I think…”

“You’re so comforting, I can barely contain myself. So this thing I will have earned… How special are we talking?"           

“Oh. Very. There could be outfits…”

“I don’t need sexy outfits Ror, I just need you,” Jess said sincerely, stroking her cheek and tucking her long hair behind her ear. “Always. For always, I just need you.”

Rory was suddenly overcome by his gesture; his words hit her hard. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? “You have me for always, Jess. You have me,” she whispered as he tightened an arm around her waist and she snuggled her head against his shoulder. “I’m excited to spend a whole month in Philadelphia with you when Mom and Luke are away on their honeymoon. This being apart thing is getting hard,”  
             
“I know,” Jess said as he pulled her closer. “I’m trying to block out the fact that you have a whole year left at Yale ahead of you. Why can’t Luke and Lorelai go away on their honeymoon right away? Why are they waiting three whole weeks?”

“They’re too busy.”

“I know, I know. It just sucks that we can’t have more time…”

“I’m sorry. I know I’ve been off school for almost a month now, but with all the wedding prep it was just too crazy and Mom still needs my help until they go and –”

“Ror, it’s okay. You don’t need to be sorry,” Jess said, holding her face gently. They sat together, curled up on the porch swing for nearly half an hour, savouring the quiet, intimate bubble they’d created for themselves while chaos swirled around them. Finally, they went inside to face the swarm of activity.

“Jess! Hey!” Lorelai said excitedly when she saw him walk in with Rory. She pulled him into a warm hug, which he returned.

“Whoa, what the hell happened when I was trapped at Grandma’s? When did you two start hugging?” Rory asked in shock.

“Didn’t you know? Jess and I are thick as thieves,” Lorelai teased.

“Bosom friends –” Jess added.

“Ying and yang,”

“We paint each other’s nails and gossip over pints. It’s pretty amazing. Hey, did she tell you? Sylvester Stallone might be my daddy…”

“Are you sure beer was all that was involved here? You wouldn’t have happened to also do a bunch of drugs too, did you?” Rory asked with a laugh.

“Rory, you should never have given these two the chance to bond…” Luke said, walking in on the love fest.  
             
“You’re the one who wanted me to accept Jess, Rory. Well, I’ve accepted him. Maybe you should’ve been careful what you wished for,” Lorelai said.

“Yeah, you should have been more careful,” Luke deadpanned.

“Sorry, Luke,” Rory shrugged.

“So am I,”  
  
“Hey, do you know when Liz is getting here?” Jess asked his uncle.  
             
“Oh, Jess. Thank you for noticing that I’ve been standing here for several minutes. It’s good to see you too, nephew…”

“Sorry,” Jess said with a laugh, pulling Luke into a quick hug.

“Liz should be here soon, she’s on her way,” Luke said.

“Is TJ coming?” Jess asked warily.

“No. He’s working the Renaissance circuit. Both of them can’t take off; it’s a shark tank out there, someone might steal their prime booth location.”

“Thank God…”

“Here, here.”

“Are you guys talking bad about my TJ? That isn’t very nice, you know,” Liz said sternly, standing in the front doorway of the Dragonfly. Both men jumped and whirled around at the sound of her voice.

“Now you know how it feels, jerk,” Rory said to Jess, punching his arm playfully.

Jess kissed Rory’s head quickly before walking over to give Liz a hug. “Hi, Mom,” he said, kissing her cheek lightly.

“Hello, my beautiful boy,” Liz said, holding Jess’ cheeks in her palms. “How’s Philadelphia? Are you working too hard? You look tired.”

“Philadelphia’s good.”

“And your friends? How are they?”

“They’re good. Chris and Matt say hi. Andrew and Joe miss you, they told me to tell you that you need to come back and visit again. Mostly, I think they want to hear more embarrassing stories from my childhood.”

“Well, tell them I have plenty of stories left for them,” Liz smiled warmly at her son. Suddenly, she realized there was a small audience watching her exchange with Jess. “Oh my God, I’m so rude. Look at me ignoring the rest of you,” she made her way over to Luke and gave him a tight hug. “Hi, big brother. The day’s almost here, huh? I am so, so happy for you.”

“Thanks, Liz.”

Liz turned to Lorelai. “And you, Lorelai, you finally did it! You snagged my big brother.”

“Snag him, I did,” Lorelai said, hugging her soon-to-be sister-in-law. “It’s good to see you, Liz.”

“Oh, you too sweetie. I cannot wait for Saturday. It! Is going to be! So! Great!” Liz squealed excitedly.

Rory was standing silently beside Lorelai, momentarily overcome by the brief display of tenderness between Jess and the woman he always just referred to as ‘Liz’. It was clear that for all of her past mistakes and poor decisions, Jess loved his mother; he knew she had shortcomings –big ones- as a parent, but he was working to make peace with that. Rory was positive that she would always be ‘Liz’ whenever she wasn’t in the room; but Rory was touched that when Liz and Jess were together, he was able to call her ‘Mom’ and mean it. That never would have happened with the Jess of three years ago.

“Oh my, you must be Rory,” Liz with an emotional smile as she noticed Rory standing patiently beside Lorelai. “Come here,” she said, pulling Rory into a warm hug.  
             
As they embraced, Liz whispered into Rory’s ear something she wasn’t expecting to hear from a woman she barely knew –who barely knew her. Very quietly and with complete sincerity, she said, “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to my Jess. God does he love you. He’s always loved you. I’ve known that for years even though I never knew you. My gut is telling me you two can last forever and my gut is hardly ever wrong.” Liz loosened her hold on Rory just a bit and held her face in her hands, as she’d done with Jess. “Thank you for loving my son. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to him. Don’t you ever forget that, okay?”

“I won’t Liz, I promise,” Rory said shakily, fighting against the lump in her throat. “It’s so good to finally meet you,” she said genuinely, pulling Liz into another hug.

Jess stood a few paces back talking to Luke, watching the interaction between Rory and Liz out of the corner of his eye. He couldn’t hear what Liz was saying to Rory, but seeing the tenderness of their interaction struck him in a way he didn’t expect; he felt himself relax and his lips pulled up into a warm grin. Rory caught a bit of his reaction as she hugged Liz again. Rory and Jess exchanged a loving smile and a slight nod of relief and happiness.  

“Jess, you didn’t tell me how beautiful Rory is,” Liz said.

Jess said nothing and just smiled warmly at Rory.

Rory blushed, while Lorelai’s heart skipped a beat and Luke chuckled knowingly.

“Hey Jess, where’s your stuff?” Luke asked.

“Oh, crap, I left everything in the car. I’ll be back,” Jess said before sprinting out the door and down the steps. “Dude, who would park on someone’s bumper in a driveway this size…” he muttered when he got outside to find that despite the sizeable length and width of the Dragonfly’s driveway, a BMW was practically riding his bumper.

“Are you implying that my husband doesn’t know how to park his car, Jess?”

Jess closed his eyes and clenched his fists as he heard the voice of Emily Gilmore. Despite only meeting her once, three years ago when he was not at all concerned with what she thought of him, hearing her voice now made his blood run cold. _So much for absence making the heart grow fonder_ , he thought to himself. Jess opened his eyes and offered Emily a neutral smile. “Of course not, Mrs. Gilmore,” he said slowly. “I was just… I need to get some things out of my trunk. It’s nice to see you again.”

“Is it really? Last time I saw you, you were storming out of my house without finishing your salad. Forgive me, but I wouldn’t expect that you’d think it would be nice to see me again, now or ever.”

“I’m sorry about that night, Mrs. Gilmore. I wasn’t … feeling well. I was very rude and I apologize.”

“It’s about three years too late to be apologizing,” Emily said stiffly. “This is your car?” she asked incredulously.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Clearly, you’ve moved on from the Wal-Mart Corporation. I don’t suppose you want to be buried there anymore?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Such a shame. Young people these days, they don’t commit to anything…”

“I work at a publishing house in Philadelphia now.”

“Yes, I heard. I suppose you want to be buried there now, do you?”

“I haven’t really given it much thought,” Jess said with a tiny sigh.

“Of course you haven’t,” Emily said. “Oh, I’m sorry. You need to get into your trunk. Richard,” she called behind her. “You need to move the car, please.”

“Why do I need to do that Emily? I just put it in park!” Richard said, turning around from rummaging in the backseat.

“Because, we’ve parked on Jess’ bumper and he needs to retrieve things from his trunk.”

“Oh, I see,” Richard said, straightening out. He took in the sight of Jess standing before him in a rumpled button down tee shirt, worn jeans and Converse runners. “So this is Jess,” he said with a friendly smile that appeared half a second too late. He extended a hand. “It’s good to finally meet you, son. I’ve heard a great deal about you.”

Jess bristled at Richard’s use of the term ‘son’, but simply clenched his jaw and took a deep breath before shaking his hand. “Pleasure’s all mine, Mr. Gilmore. I’ve heard a lot about you, too.”

“Rory tells me you run a small publishing house in Philadelphia with a few other young men.”

“Yes sir, I do.”

“And I understand you’ve had a short work of fiction published as well.”

“That’s right.”

“Quite the accomplishment for such a young man. We’ll have to sit down for a good chat this weekend. I’m quite the connoisseur of literature and business is my trade! I imagine we’ll have plenty to talk about.”

“Of course, Mr. Gilmore. That’d be great.”

“Splendid! Well, we’ve kept you blocked in this driveway long enough. Let me move the car so you can get at your trunk.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Richard moved his BMW and Jess unlocked his trunk to grab his overnight bag. If the Gilmores weren’t right behind him, he might have let out a blood-curdling yell. Instead, he forced himself to maintain composure and moved slowly to keep his hands from shaking. He nearly dropped his bag when he closed the trunk and stood up to find Richard and Emily standing only a foot behind him. “You can go in ahead of me, if you want. I still need to get my suit out of the backseat,” Jess offered.

“Nonsense, we’ll wait for you,” Richard said.  
             
“Okay, sure.”

Once Jess had his suit draped carefully over his arm, he made his way back toward the Dragonfly with Richard on one side of him and Emily on the other. Suddenly, the front door seemed much further away than it had when he came outside just a few minutes ago.

“Look who we found outside!” Richard proclaimed in a big booming voice when they reached the door.

Liz, Lorelai, Luke and Rory all fell instantly silent, the latter three marveling at the strangeness of seeing this particular trio enter the inn together.

Rory instantly noticed the beads of sweat forming on Jess’ brow. When her gaze shifted to his hands, she saw that he was white knuckling his duffel bag; the arm over which he’d draped his suit was shaking ever so slightly, she was sure that no one else noticed. When they locked gazes, she apologized to Jess with her eyes; she knew how terrifying it was to be caught unawares by Emily and Richard Gilmore.


	18. Chapter 18

Jess stood alone on the porch of the Dragonfly, staring out at the darkening sky. He let out a breath of smoke. Looking down at the cigarette between his fingers, he cursed himself; he hadn’t smoked since the day Rory showed up in Philadelphia. He chuckled as he realized that the cure to his addiction was contentment. He was not at all surprised that after only a few hours of being surrounded by Stars Hollow and a minor interaction with the elder Gilmores, he’d fallen off the wagon.

Sounds of happy, boisterous activity floated out to greet him as he heard the door creek open. His lips started curling into a tiny grin even before he felt Rory snake her arms around his waist. She stood on tiptoe and propped her chin on his shoulder. “What’re you doing out here all by yourself?” she asked quietly.

“Enjoying a bit of quiet,” Jess replied, taking his free hand and laying it on top of Rory’s, intertwining their fingers.

Rory kissed his neck softly. “I haven’t seen you with a cigarette since…” she faltered, trying to remember.

“You haven’t. Not for about three years. The last time I smoked was the day you came to Truncheon.”

“I was the cure, huh?”

“Something like that.”

“Your mom is wonderful,”

Jess smiled. “She likes you,” he said simply. “She wasn’t the best mother, but she did the best she could. Liz is a good woman.”

“Why do you do that?”

“What?”

“Call her ‘Liz’?” Rory asked. “She’s your mom, Jess.”

“Yeah, she is. But she’s not my mom the way that Lorelai is your mom.”

Rory sighed and let the subject slip away. “I’m sorry,”

“What for? Asking why I call my mom ‘Liz’? You’re allowed. I’m not a delicate flower. You’re allowed to wonder; you’re allowed to ask me stuff,” Jess teased.

“No, not about Liz. I’m sorry… about my grandparents. I hate that they took you by surprise like that. I wanted to be the one to, you know, properly introduce you or whatever.”

“I’ve met your grandmother, Rory, remember?”

“That’s not what I meant...”

“I know. I take it you saw the subtle sweat I broke into...”

Rory nodded, pressing her chin into Jess’ shoulder. “And the way you were clutching your duffel bag, and the way your arm was trembling underneath your suit –”

“Wow, I really did fall in love with Nancy Drew.”

“I don’t think anyone else noticed,” Rory said gently.

“Well, that’s good. Traits of mine that are that subtle are for your eyes only anyway,” Jess laughed. He took one last long pull on his cigarette and stubbed it out on the banister before throwing the butt into the grass. Letting out his breath, Jess turned to face Rory. “Listen to me, Ror. Don’t be freaking out because you couldn’t be an immediate buffer. I had to get stuff from my car, which I parked in the driveway, which is public domain. Do your grandparents make me more than slightly nervous? Yes. But I don’t need you to protect me all weekend. Besides, didn’t you tell me I could take ‘em?”

Rory’s brow was creased with worry. When Jess took her face in his hands, her cheeks were hot to the touch. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead, her nose and finally her lips.

“Don’t forget the mint,” she said.

“What?”

“After you smoke, you always eat a mint.”

“How do you –?”

“I remember. You always tasted like cigarettes and mint when we were in high school. I tasted it the first time you kissed me in Philadelphia. I ….” Rory started to blush. “I like the way you taste. A mix of cigarettes and mint.”

Jess laughed softly and pulled Rory close, resting her head against his chest. He couldn’t believe how much he loved her; he would have thought it was impossible to love someone so much. Wrapping one arm around her shoulders, he dug in his pocket with the other hand until he found his tin of mints. Popping the top open with his thumb, he tipped the tiny tin against his lips, letting two mints land on his tongue.

After holding Rory against him for a few minutes, Jess broke their silence. “Hey, your grandfather wants to have a drink with me after dinner,”

Rory perked up and looked at him. “He does? Why?”

“He seems really interested in my work and the fact that I wrote a book. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not taking this to mean we’ll be best pals or anything. I’m aware that I’m treading on delicate ground that could turn on a dime. But it’s really nice of him, to show an interest, you know? Not like your grandmother, who asked me twice this afternoon where I want to be buried…”

“Oh, Jess. I’m so sorry,” Rory muttered against his chest.

“Ror, you don’t have to apologize. Look at me,” Jess waited for Rory’s eyes to meet his. When they didn’t, he propped her chin up with his finger. “Look at me Rory,” he said gently. “This weekend is happening. We’re in it. It’s happening right now. Stop worrying so much. I have more to be worried about than you do. I know it’s a bit of a role reversal because I’m Mister Calm, Cool, Collected, Can’t Ruffle My Feathers Guy, but I need you to be the calm one this weekend. I need you to be my port in the storm, okay?”

“Okay,”

“Okay. Good. Come on, we should get back,”

Rory nodded weakly and started to turn towards the door, but Jess pulled her back against him suddenly, wrapping one arm around her waist and cradling her head with his other hand. He kissed her long and deep. Rory let out a tiny squeal of surprise, but melted into him instantly. When they finally stopped to catch a breath, she was too stunned to speak.

“You said you liked the way I tasted,” Jess said with a wink. “Best to give the lady I love what she wants.” He reached up silently and put one finger under her chin to close her mouth, which was still hanging open in shock. Reaching down, he laced his fingers together with Rory’s and led her back inside.

Dinner was a packed house: Luke, Lorelai, Rory, Liz, Jess, Richard and Emily only taking up one table, with almost the entire population of Stars Hollow filling in the rest of the room. The wedding was still two days off, but the town was too excited to stay away.      
  
Jess never thought he’d see the day when he welcomed the company of Richard and Emily Gilmore, but then again, having Miss Patty and Babette making eyes at him all night had the power to do that to a man. Also a first, being thankful for the withering stares of Ms. Kim; he was sure she was the only reason Babette and Miss Patty contained themselves half as well as they did.

It was nice to see Lane, although Zach was weirder than he remembered. As soon as he’d finished asking Jess about the music scene in Philadelphia and New York, it was like the guy forgot how to speak.

Sookie’s food was amazing; she was so excited to see Jess and Rory happily together that she almost dumped hot gravy on his crotch, which would have severely hindered the plans Jess had for later in the evening.

Jess was relieved that Taylor was absent, as nice as it might have been to be able to make him squirm. There was further elation when he learned that Taylor wouldn’t even be at the wedding.  
             
Kirk was another story –he had an unhealthy obsession with telling Jess about his girlfriend; when Jess was happy to leave it at, “That’s great. Good for you, Kirk,” he became frighteningly combative, showing Jess every picture of Lulu he had in his wallet, begging to be asked how hot his sex life was.

Now Jess found himself sitting with Richard Gilmore in the Dragonfly’s library, once again thankful for the quiet.

“So, Jess, tell me about Truncheon Books,” Richard said as he swirled his scotch around in the glass, before taking a sip.

“Well,” Jess said, taking a small swallow of his rum and Coke to cure his sandpaper throat, “I was brought onboard about a year ago, after a few of the guys there decided to publish my book. They really liked my story and my energy and my literary style and one of their partners had stepped down, so they brought me in to fill the void.”

“And this novel of yours, what’s it about?”

“Oh, I’m not any good at describing it really. Besides, it’s only a short novel, it’s not really that impressive.”

“I haven’t read your book, Jess, but I beg to differ. Do you have any idea how many young writers dream of being published but never are? I dare say that what you’ve done is quite impressive.”

Jess was genuinely taken aback. “Thank you, sir, that… means a lot.” He paused and thought hard before asking, “Would you like to read it?”

“Come again?”

“My book. I mean if you want to read it, I have a few copies here with me. I’m really not trying to grease your wheels or anything –I really do have a bunch with me; one of the curses of being author distributed; you always gotta carry some with you- if you want to read it, I’d be happy to lend you a copy,”

Richard smiled. “Why thank you Jess. I imagine that’d be quite a treat.”

“My pleasure. I’m not twisting your arm, am I?” Jess faltered, “If you don’t want to read it, that’s really okay. I mean you don’t have to –”

“Really Jess, I’d like to read it. One thing you must learn about me is that I’m not easily influenced to do much of anything I don’t want to do.”

Jess sighed heavily, nodded with a smile and took another swallow of his drink.

“Are you nervous, son?”

There was that word again. Jess bit his tongue before answering. “A little,” he admitted. “I don’t really like talking about myself, Mr. Gilmore.”

“You’re not talking about yourself, Jess. You’re talking about your work,” Richard offered.

“Same thing, really,”

“Ah. I really respect a man who devotes that much of himself to what he does. It’s a very admirable quality.”

“If you say so,”

“I do. So, what kinds of other things does Truncheon contribute to the Philadelphia literary scene?”

“Well, we publish about four books a month, five if we’re lucky. All up-and-comers, looking to get their start. Mostly fiction prose, some poetry, non-fiction essays, memoirs, that kinda thing. We publish whole books, or we pick and choose pieces and excerpts to highlight in our monthly magazine. We have an open house night every couple of months to host new talent, let them perform readings and such. We have a few local galleries we deal with; we hang young artists’ work without ripping anyone off on sky-high commissions –”

“You don’t showcase work for free though…” Richard interjected.

“No,” Jess said with a tiny smirk, “we do charge, but not so much that we risk turning away any interest. The artists we work with –literary and otherwise- they aren’t exactly Pablo Picasso or Ernest Hemingway, you know? Most of them barely have two dimes to rub together.”

“Smart strategy,” Richard said. “Do you like Hemingway?”

“Yes sir, he’s one of my favourites.”

“Who else do you like?”

“Oh, tons of people. Hemingway’s top of my list, but other than him? Orwell, Vonnegut, Kerouac. Dickens can get a little too poetic sometimes; if I want a portrait of Victorian England that I can really sink my teeth into, I prefer the Brontës –”

“You and Rory have that in common,”  
             
Jess smiled. “Yes, that we do.”

“I’m very glad that Rory’s intellect doesn’t intimidate you,”

“It’s one of the things I love most about her.”

Richard grinned. “I’m sure you’re aware of her journalistic ambitions,”

“Very well. She’s going to accomplish great things.”

“So you don’t have any reservations with any of the things that her goals might –”

“I support Rory, Mr. Gilmore,” Jess said firmly, “and anything she wants to do. One hundred percent. No strings,”

“I’m truly relieved to hear that, Jess,” Richard said sincerely.

“Were you expecting a different answer, sir?” Jess asked defensively. He knew this conversation was going too easily.

“No, no,” Richard stammered. “Forgive me,” he took a large sip of his scotch before he continued. “Anyway, I’m sure you must give Rory a run for her money,”

“I’m sorry. I don’t think I know what you mean,”

“Well, you must have ambitions of your own. Don’t you?”

Jess chuckled under his breath and stared into his glass. “Took a lot of false starts just to get me where I am. Ask a lot of people we had dinner with tonight, most of ‘em probably figured I’d spend the rest of my life as my Uncle Luke’s favourite bus boy. I’m pretty happy where I am. It took me long enough to get something right, I’m not looking for a change of scenery anytime soon.”

“Yes, I didn’t mean to belittle what you’ve accomplished. I simply meant –you own a business. It’s only natural you’d want to see it grow,”

“Sure, I guess. But we’re pretty happy with where we’re at right now.”

“I’m sure you are. But every business must have a growth plan,”

“I’m not sure growth is our top priority right now,”

“Yes, but it must be somewhere on your horizon. What are your projections like?”

“Projections?”

“Your business projections. What’s Truncheon’s trajectory?”

Jess laughed nervously. “I’m not really the numbers guy,”

“Oh of course not. I imagine you take care of scouting new talent, reading new manuscripts, that kind of thing?”

“Actually, yeah,” Jess was impressed.

“Of course it is! Can’t be expecting someone with a background in English Literature to have their head stuck in ledgers books all day.”

“I’m sorry –background?"

“Yes. You have an advanced Degree in English Literature, don’t you?”

“No,”

“Creative writing?”

“No.” Jess’ voice was getting quieter as he realized with sinking clarity the corner he’d been backed into.

“Oh, that’s fine, son. That’s fine,” Richard said pacifyingly. “A basic Bachelor’s Degree is more than enough to suffice…”

As soon as Jess heard the word ‘son’ fall from Richard’s lips for the third time that day, he threw back the rest of his drink violently and clutched the empty tumbler so tightly that his hand started to cramp. He took a few deep breaths to force his anger down well below the surface so that he could control it. Losing his temper would accomplish nothing. He’d been backed into a corner, but he refused to let Richard Gilmore obliterate his dignity. He had no choice now but to own it. “Yeah,” Jess said with a slight chuckle, “I don’t exactly have one of those either.”

“I’m sorry,” Richard said earnestly. “But I’m afraid that now it is I who finds himself at a loss as to what you mean –”

“I kinda…” Jess faltered, “I didn’t exactly graduate from high school,”

“But you’re so well read,” Richard was genuinely confused. “The authors you mentioned, the way you talked about your work – _you had a novel published_. How could you accomplish all that without ever having finished high school? It seems too ludicrous to believe –”

“I’m a voracious reader, Mr. Gilmore. I know you know how much Rory reads. I’m just like that, except without the high school diploma part. I really have read all those authors I mentioned; working in this publishing house is a dream come true. I love my job; I love to write. I love to learn –it turns out I vehemently hate the ‘going to class’ bit…” Jess sighed, “I know how I must look to you right now. And I’m so sorry if you’re disappointed to hear that I’m not who you thought I was. Or maybe you were expecting me to be nothing; no one –in which case, you win, Mr. Gilmore.”

Richard sighed heavily. “I see,”

“I am in the process of getting my GED, though, I only have two exams left,” Jess offered weakly.

“Well, that’s a good start,”  
             
Jess could feel his composure slipping away. He hated that he’d just tried so hard to justify himself when he knew it didn’t matter. “It’s getting late Mr. Gilmore. We should turn in,” he said without looking up.

“Quite right. I suppose we should,” Richard agreed. Jess got up to leave, eager to get out of this library and end this conversation as fast as he could, but Richard stopped him just as he was about to exit the room. “Jess?”

Jess let out a heavy sigh and answered without turning around. “Yes, Mr. Gilmore?”

“Rory told me that it was you. You were the one to get her to go back to Yale. You set her back on her path; you saved her.”

Jess chuckled bitterly under his breath. “Rory would have found her own way back to Yale eventually. She didn’t need me,” he said flatly.

Richard stood up and closed the distance between them and patted Jess’ shoulder very delicately. “I’m not so sure that’s true,” he said simply. “Goodnight, Jess. Please leave a copy of your book for me outside the door of my room. I really would like to read it.” With that, Richard made his way up the stairs.

God knows why, but Jess stormed out the front door and into the night. He stomped down the steps and wrenched his car door open to grab a copy of _The Sub Sect_ to bring to Richard. He ran up the stairs and caught him just before he entered his room. “Here,” Jess said. “If you think it’s bullshit, just do me a favour and don’t tell me, okay?”

Richard nodded silently and disappeared into his room.

Emily was waiting up for Richard, too anxious to sleep. “How was it?” she asked impatiently.

“It was fine, Emily,” Richard said, sounding disappointed, defeated and misled.

“It certainly doesn’t sound like it was fine,” Emily pressed.

Richard sat on the end of the bed and sighed. “He really is a very nice young man. And I truly believe he loves Rory with all his heart. He has indeed accomplished great things; his passion and drive cannot be disputed. But there are some things about him that concern me. I was really hoping to be able to support this relationship, but I worry…”

* * *

 Jess snuck into the darkened room he and Rory shared very quietly. It had gotten late, she was sound asleep and he didn’t want to wake her. He crept into the bathroom and switched on the light, staring at his reflection in the mirror. Funny how one conversation with Richard Gilmore that had started out so well could make him feel –and look- like he’d just finished fighting a war –a war that defeated him.

The anger he’d been suppressing finally boiled over. He clenched his hand into a tight fist and punched the wall. “Goddamn it!” he yelled loudly enough that it woke Rory.

“What’s going on, Jess?” Rory asked sleepily as she opened the bathroom door. Her eyes went wide when she saw Jess’ bloody hand. “Oh God!” She rushed over to him, “Jess, what did you do?”

“Punched the wall,” Jess said tersely. “That’s some sturdy tile. Jesus,” he winced.

“Yes, I can see that.” Rory instantly perked up, searching for bandages while holding Jess’ injured hand in her palm. “Why did you punch the wall?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

“Punching walls is a distinct sign of _not_ being fine.” Rory sighed heavily, “It was my grandpa, wasn’t it? What did he say to you, Jess?”

“Nothing. He was way nicer than I ever expected he would be, until my lack of education became the topic of choice…”

“Oh, God. I was worried something like this would happen. I’m so, so sorry Jess!” Rory hugged him tightly and Jess wrapped his arms around her.

“It’s okay,” he whispered thickly.

“No! No! There is no way this is even the slightest bit okay. He shouldn’t have talked to you like that. I need to go over there right now and –”

Jess kept his arms tightly around her. “Don’t you dare,” he said gently. “Your grandfather was perfectly wonderful for the majority of the conversation. I don’t want you going over there right now all upset and hysterical, yelling at your grandparents. It won’t do anyone any good,”

“But Jess, he can’t just –”

“This weekend, he can. Luke and Lorelai are getting married in two days. No need to cause drama and ruin it for them. They deserve this day. My education was really the only sore spot. I really do think his interest in my work and my writing is genuine. He certainly knows that there can be no doubt that I’m hopelessly in love with his granddaughter,” Jess winked and flashed a small grin. “Your grandfather really is a sweet man, but he’s used to a certain propriety, and if there’s one word that doesn’t mesh well with the name Jess Mariano, it’s ‘propriety’. He still took my book; I think he really does want to read it.”  
             
“I’m so sorry,” Rory said, tears spilling down her cheeks.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” Jess said with the slightest edge in his tone. “I’m sorry I woke you. Let me wash my hand and put a bandage on it and I’ll be right in, okay? You should go back to sleep.”

“Okay,”

“Hey,” Jess said, pulling her back when she turned to leave. “No more tears Gilmore. Promise me.”

Rory nodded weakly. Jess placed the pads of his thumbs on either side of her face, wiping away the streaks of wetness he felt there. He kissed her passionately, hoping to erase her sadness. But even still, he knew it wouldn’t be that easy.

When Rory left the bathroom, he shut the door, clutching the sink so tightly his arms trembled. “Just make it through this weekend,” he repeated to himself over and over.

Once he’d washed up, he crawled into bed behind Rory and held her tightly. He could tell she’d been crying. Normally, he’d be concerned with comforting her. But on this night he was agitated and frustrated and he just wanted to go to sleep. Rory turned to face him and he held her face delicately. Rory snuggled against him and started running her hand up and down his chest.

When she kissed him lightly, he didn’t stop her. But for the first time, when her fingers ran through his hair, he pulled away. He stroked her face, but there was no emotion behind the action. Every time he touched her –no matter when, or how or why, everything from hand holding to stroking her cheeks to touching her most intimate places- there was always emotion that accompanied all of the physical contact. Rory felt something shift; she could tell that when he stroked her cheeks now, the gesture was empty. It scared her. She tried to push her thoughts out of her mind and convince herself she was overthinking the whole thing; she attempted to deepen their kisses and he stopped her.

“Not tonight, Ror,” Jess said softly. “Let’s just go to sleep. I just want to go to sleep.”

“Okay,” Rory whispered.

“I love you Rory,” Jess said sincerely, propping her chin up to look into her eyes. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too Jess,”

They held each other close, falling asleep with all of their limbs hopelessly intertwined. Laying and sleeping wrapped around each other as they were, one would find separating Rory and Jess to be nearly impossible.

* * *

 When Rory woke up the next morning, Jess was propped up on his elbow, inches from her face.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you that it’s creepy to stare at women while they sleep?” she asked groggily.

Jess sighed and reached up to cup her cheek in his palm. His hesitance was gone. He held her surely and lovingly. Rory was relieved that he’d returned to himself, that rather than tell her how much he loved her, she could feel it in his touch. She pressed her face into his skin. “How’s your Rocky hand, Rocky Junior?”

“Sore. Swollen. If anyone asks, guy was way bigger than me and I was defending your honour…”

“Jess, are you okay? I mean really. What did my grandpa say to you?”

“Exactly what I told you,”

“Jess, come on,” Rory pressed gently. She reached up to run her fingers through his hair and hesitated briefly before letting them get lost in his dark locks. Relief couldn’t begin to describe the feeling that flooded through her when he leaned down slightly and pressed his head into her hand, closing his eyes to let the sensation wash over him.

“He was really into learning about Truncheon; we chatted about books for a long time. And then he started asking about growth plans and business projections. I told him the numbers weren’t my thing; I was just happy to be doing work that I loved and then he said ‘Of course, can’t be expecting someone with a Literature background to be worrying about the numbers’ –”

“Oh no,”

“Before I knew it, he’d backed me into a corner where I was forced to admit that no, I don’t have a ‘background’ in literature…. Sorry, nope, not creative writing either. Then he was all, ‘Oh, but a Bachelor’s Degree suffices just fine, son,’ –”

“Jess, I’m so sorry,” Rory said earnestly.

“I was cornered into having to admit that I didn’t finish high school, I just love to read. The instant he figured out that the impressive young author doesn’t have any formal education, it undid all the common ground that we’d found.”

“But Jess, you’re more well-read than almost anyone I know. Sure you don’t have the letters behind your name, but you’re better qualified than anyone to be doing exactly what you’re doing. You know that,”

“Yeah, but –”

“This never bothered you before, so why is it bothering you now?” Rory asked gently.

“I just –the way your grandfather looked at me when he found out that I didn’t finish school- I thought that part of my life was behind me. I thought I was done being looked at as a failure.”

“Jess, you’re not –”

“I know I’m not. But seeing him look at me like that, something inside me snapped a little.”

“Hey, look at me. Jess, don’t let either of my grandparents get to you, okay? It might take them a while, but they’ll come around. They’ll have to, once they understand that you’re everything to me and I have no intention of giving you up. Ever.”

“Everything, huh?” Jess smirked, “I’m stuck with you forever, am I?”

“Yup. Until I’m old and saggy and not nearly as flexible.”

“Well then I should probably get while the getting’s good. I have to maximize the naughtiness, while you’re still nubile,”

“You do know how the use of fancy words turns me on,” Rory said, nuzzling his neck. She threaded her arm around Jess’ ribcage and pulled herself on top of him. As she leaned down to kiss him, her long dark hair fell down around them, shrouding their faces in a blanket of softness.

Jess held her face in his hands as though he was trying to protect a delicate pearl. “Thank you,” he said softly.

“What for?”

“Loving me.”

Rory was overcome. Her eyes welled up.

“Hey, hey. What did I say about tears?”

Rory was about to open her mouth to speak when their tender moment was shattered by someone banging on the door. “Rory, Rory, open up!” Lorelai said impatiently. “I’m freaking out!”

“Why, Mom?” Rory called out, rolling her eyes and shifting reluctantly off of Jess. She dragged herself out of bed slowly to unlock the door. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m getting _married_ tomorrow. Not like, Elizabeth Taylor married, but married for real!”

“Yeah, I thought that was pretty much the plan,” Rory laughed, standing in the doorway.

Lorelai took in her daughter’s slightly disheveled appearance. “Intrigue… did I interrupt something?”

“Yes!” Jess shouted.

“No one asked you Mariano! Take a cold shower! She can go back to being your Pretty Woman later,” Lorelai yelled sarcastically.

“I’m glad we’re friends, Lorelai, really, but please don’t refer to her as my Pretty Woman,” Jess yelled back.

“Shower, Stallone Junior! And I swear to God if you drop that sheet…”

“Damn! I knew I forgot something! Sadly, I left my assless chaps in Philadelphia. Rory almost broke up with me over it. Hey, can you ask Luke if I can borrow his?”

Lorelai stifled a laugh and narrowed her eyes.

“Going,” Jess said, wrapping the entire duvet around himself and disappearing into the bathroom.

“Is there some reason you interrupted my morning happy and banished my boyfriend to the bathroom?” Rory asked.

“Girls get morning happys? I thought that was strictly a guy thing –”

“Mom!”

“Right, sorry. Have a sleepover with me tonight,” Lorelai said excitedly.

“A sleepover?”

“Yeah, like I did with you the first night you were at Yale. It’ll be fun!”

“Mom, are you freaked out about having to spend tonight without Luke? That’s so silly! You guys have spent nights apart before, lots of times.”

“I know, but it’s never been the night before my wedding to Luke before.”

“Yes, traditionally, that only happens once,” Rory conceded.

“So then, come on! You know I can’t be alone…” Lorelai pleaded. “Pretty please? Come on, Liz and Sookie will be there too –this is going to be the most gourmet sleepover _in the history of the world_. Five-star pig-outs.”

Rory was slightly hesitant, not because she didn’t absolutely want to be there for her mom –sleeping over the night before the wedding was like an unwritten rule. But she was still worried about Jess; the way he’d pulled away from her was jarring. There was something about the way he’d told her, ‘ _I thought I was done being looked at as a failure,’_

“Ror, that sounds like fun. You should go.” Jess reemerged from the bathroom, fully dressed and ready for the day’s rehearsal schedule, which was due to start in under an hour.

“Really?” Rory turned to face Jess and took a few steps towards him. “Are you sure?”

Jess wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. “Ror, you should be with your mom. Really, it’s okay. As Luke’s best man, I’m pretty sure it’s my duty to hang with him tonight anyway.”

“Yeah, um, Jess?” Lorelai said, “he told me to remind you that this would be your last chance to hold hands and skip together without it being… significantly weirder.”

Jess laughed loudly. “Because it would have been so normal if we had done it before now.”

“He said you’d know what he meant…”

“Tell him I’ll be there, Lorelai. Wouldn’t miss all the hand holding and skipping for anything.”

“Okay, good. You kids hurry down. It’s going to be a busy day; so busy that there might not be enough coffee left in the world…” Lorelai said with a sigh as she shut the door.

Rory let her head fall against Jess’ chest. “I’m sorry,” she said with a sigh, hugging him as tightly as she could. “That means we won’t even get tonight.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jess said, rubbing her back and kissing her neck.

“But after what you went through last night I just, I wanted to be with you. I feel like I need to make up for it somehow. After all that anguish, you deserve a little bit of happiness. I know this weekend isn’t easy for you, Jess.”

“Rory, I have all the happiness I need, right here in my arms. Yes, it sucks that I won’t get laid tonight,” he said with a chuckle, “but the night before their wedding, we should be with Luke and Lorelai. It’s the right thing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Jess, are we… okay?”

Jess’s brow furrowed. “Of course we are. What’s the matter?”

“Just, seeing you that hurt, that upset, it scared me. And then when you pulled away, I don’t know what I thought, really, but I mean –”

Propping Rory’s chin up, he held her face in his hands. “Rory, I’m sorry you had to see me like that. You warned me; it’s not like I didn’t know what I was getting into when I agreed to have a conversation with your grandfather. I was reeling last night, the conversation brought up a lot of past feelings and regrets; it brought back everything about the life I thought I’d left behind me for good. Your grandfather rattled my cage, that’s all. Nothing he did or didn’t do, or may or not say this weekend is on you, Rory.

“I love you. You are everything to me. One awkward and upsetting conversation with your grandfather cannot change that. What did I tell you when you came to Philadelphia? You won’t lose me. Ever. You can’t. It’s not possible.”

“I love you so much, it scares me sometimes,” Rory said quietly. “I didn’t know it was possible to love anyone or need anyone this much.”

“I know the feeling,” Jess said, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

Rory sighed again and gave him one more, tight hug. “I will make this up to you, Jess, I promise.”

“I’m counting on it. You did promise that I’d have earned something special after dealing with your grandparents. I know you better than to think you’d go back on your word,” Jess said with a wink. “Come on, you should get dressed. Sounds like the day of rehearsal festivities is about to begin. After that, you have one epic slumber party to get to.”


	19. Chapter 19

“Shit, have you seen my cufflinks? Where are they? I just had them! Damn it!” Luke sighed heavily.

“Calm down, before your head explodes. You can’t wear your baseball hat down the isle; you’d have no way to contain the mess. Do you really want that to be the first image Lorelai sees when she starts walking towards you?” Jess laughed. “Here,” he said, handing Luke a box.

“What the hell is this?”

“My guess would be cufflinks,”

“These aren’t my cufflinks.”

“Geez, Luke, calm down. You’re getting batty. Don’t make me commit you on your wedding day.”

“Where’d they come from?”  
             
“Santa Claus,” Jess deadpanned. “Open the damn box, McMurphy, before I call Nurse Ratched.”

“You’re funny,” Luke sneered. He opened the box and saw two yellow gold cufflinks, bearing the Scorpio star sign. Taped to the underside of the box’s lid was a tiny note: “ _Thanks for the coffee. Aren’t you glad I didn’t go away? Love, Your Annoying Woman._ ”

Two tiny streams of tears fell before Luke could stop them. He sniffled sharply through his nose. Smiling to himself, he took the tiny cufflinks out of the box and held them in his trembling palm. “I didn’t see her hand anything off to you yesterday,” Luke mused quietly.

“Lorelai can be sneaky. Here, let me help you,” Jess said.

“Thanks. Hey, so are you gonna tell me what happened to your hand?”

“Yeah, I uh… I sorta punched the wall. Knuckles collided with tile; my hand lost.”

“You punched the –why? I mean Lorelai will be happy to know that she picked tile that can withstand the Mariano wrath. But why?”

“I had a drink with Mr. Gilmore after dinner Thursday night…”

Luke chuckled. “He cornered you, didn’t he?”

“Oh yeah,”

“Well, I know how that feels. If anyone asks me, you got those bruises defending Rory’s honour. And the guy was way bigger than you, too.”

“I made sure Rory tells the exact same story. I really hate how alike we are,” Jess said.

“No you don’t,” Luke said with a smile.

“Shut up.” Jess stood back to survey his uncle. “Lookin’ good, Uncle Luke. I think you’re about ready to get married.”

“Oh God. I have to get married! I think I should sit for a minute,” Luke said, trying to slow his rapid breathing. “I never thought I’d get married. I mean, okay, I did marry Nicole; but that was on a cruise ship –we were caught up in the moment, it was impulsive, reckless and absolutely ridiculous! All we had to do was hit dry land to realize that we never should’ve done it, so that doesn’t really count but this –this is-”

“The real deal,”

“God did you ever think this would happen, Jess?”

“Seriously, Luke? Don’t you remember, ‘ _You fixed any neighbour’s porches lately? Or you go on a picnic or you get rooked into giving a ridiculous speech at a high school? ..._ _I’m not playing Golden Retriever,_ ’”

“You really were a pain in the ass…”

“I know. I’m sorry. My point is, I knew long before you did that you were hopelessly in love with her. I’m glad you finally realized it. I may have been a pain in the ass, but I was right all along.”

“You were,” Luke sighed. “Don’t gloat.”

“You’re marrying her, Luke. You’re doing my gloating for me. You’ll be wearing a wedding ring for the rest of your life to remind you that I was right and you wasted a fuck of a lot of time denying it. That’s more than enough bragging rights to suit me.”

“Oh, great. So now when I look at my wedding ring, I’ll hear you nattering in my ear before it evokes memories of this day, thanks for that.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you’re thick as a brick. If you’d listened to me the first –oh, I don’t know- _twenty_ times I bugged you about it, then maybe your associations might be a little less muddled. I was only trying to help you Uncle Luke, because I love you,” Jess said sarcastically.

“Stop it, before I hit you,” Luke joked. “You left something out of your little trip down memory lane there,”

“What?”

"I seem to remember you saying ‘ _the girls that I like don’t give a damn about me!_ ’ Now who’s wrong, huh? She certainly gives more than a damn about you now, Jess.”

Jess blushed.

"Hey, you two belong together too, you know. When you were teenagers, that was all just a big mess, but I saw even then how she was the only one in the world to you. You made no shortage of huge mistakes, but you fixed them. You bettered yourself, Jess, and she found her way back to you. I may have ridden you hard and made it impossible for you to have private time with her –”

“Yeah, you weren’t as effective as you thought. We managed to give you the slip a few times….”

“Not my point. Underneath all of that overbearing strictness, you wanna know what I thought? You and Rory together had the potential to be a really great thing. She’s your one, Jess –your match. I always knew it could end up this way. I always wanted it to end up this way.”

Jess was mildly shocked. “You did?”

“Yup,” Luke said casually.  
             
“Really? Always?”  
  
“Well, when you crashed her car I had my doubts. But then I saw you sitting on that bridge. The pain in your voice when you told me you made sure she was okay…”

Jess winced at the memory.

Luke saw that even after all these years, the anguish he heard in Jess’ voice that night was still very real. “Hey,” he said gently, “I didn’t mean to unearth all that pain, I just… my point is, Rory’s your endgame, Jess. She always has been.”

Jess looked at Luke with unparalleled love and gratitude. He was glad that his uncle was able to see through his mixed up teenage rage and notice what was really there, what had been there all along. He pulled Luke into a fierce hug.

“So don’t fuck it up, nephew,” Luke whispered.

Jess laughed.

“Don’t doubt her, either. She made mistakes too. But she loves you Jess. You’re her endgame too.”

“I hope so,”

“I know so,” Luke said confidently. “Besides, if you guys break up now, you’re screwed. You did a shitty job at staying away from each other when there was nothing forcing you together. You were just pulled together like magnets. Now, there’s no getting away from her. There’s an actual tangible connection you can’t escape. So, I really hope that there aren’t anymore painful breakups in your future, because otherwise, Christmas dinners will be unbearable.”

“You’re funny,” Jess said with a smirk.

“How much time have we got?” Luke asked.

“Until you’re fitted with a permanent ball and chain? Long enough for you to seriously question your decision and have a few full on panic attacks –we’re talking some quality paper bag breathing. But it’s too late to make a break for it,” Jess chuckled.

“And in plain English that means what, smartass?”

“Half an hour maybe.”

“How is that possible? How are ready so damn early?” Luke asked, astonished.

“Takes us less time to primp and get pretty. Our women are gorgeous, Luke, but even you know it takes them a lot more preparation than it takes us.”

“I need to get some air,” Luke said, getting up slowly.

“Don’t run, Forrest! Don’t run!” Jess winked.

Luke subtly flipped his nephew the finger before smiling and walking out of the room.

* * *

 Once Luke slipped out, Jess realized he forgot his watch in the room he shared with Rory; the clock next to the bed told him the time when Luke asked. He quickly dashed down the hall, past where the women were getting ready. He heard Lorelai and Liz laughing together and he grinned in spite of himself.

When he entered the room, Rory was standing with her back to him, facing the bed. Her long brown hair was pulled away from her face and was secured into a messy, off centre bun that rested low, just above her neck. Looking closer, he saw that the bun was made from intricate braids, all twisted together into a spiral; the braids started on either side of her head –somehow, he knew that they weren’t regular braids, they were fishtail braids. Jess had no idea how he knew such a thing, but he didn’t have time to muse over it once he noticed what she was wearing.

Rory’s dress was lavender purple. Two delicate inch-wide straps snaked their way under her arms, curving up on the outside of her shoulder blades and were secured to a single piece of fabric that ran across the back of her shoulders. Her back was on full display; the dress dipped low, fastened by a zipper that reached only the top of her ribcage. The bodice of the dress had delicate ruching, though Jess saw it as nothing more than a series of meticulous folds. The skirt was slightly shirred and fell in a soft A-line, with the hem barely ghosting the floor. Whenever Rory shifted her weight it moved effortlessly with her. She looked like something out of a dream.

Jess had to remind himself to breathe. “Wow,” he said quietly.

Rory twirled around. Her skirt spun with perfection. The neckline of the dress dipped into a deep V, framing her delicate neck perfectly and giving her an exquisite grace. Her hair was perfectly unkempt, framing her face softly. The whole hairdo was just tight enough to stay together; soft wisps of brown hair fell on either side of her face and down around her ears and jaw. Her only jewellery was a pair of small teardrop diamond earrings. Rory’s makeup was soft and brought out her natural beauty rather than overshadowing it.

Jess said nothing. He just stood there. If he weren’t standing with his back against the door, the sight of Rory would have knocked him clean off his feet. She was perfect.

“Jess,” Rory breathed quietly, laying a hand against her chest. “You scared me.” When she caught her breath, Rory drank in the sight before her. Jess was wearing a simple black suit –but it fit him perfectly. The jacket and pants were tailored to be a slim fit, enough to accent his svelte figure and hug him in all the right places, but not so much that he looked at all uncomfortable. Not so much as one crease was out of place. Jess was wearing the suit; the suit wasn’t wearing Jess. He wore a slim necktie that was a few shades darker than her dress, tied in a perfect half Windsor knot. “You look pretty ‘Wow’ yourself Mariano,” Rory said quietly.

Jess slowly remembered how to put one foot in front of the other and took a few strides forward, wrapping his arms around her back. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Rory smiled.

“You’re stunning, Ror.”

“You too. But you know, in a manly way. Not bad for a suit from Al’s Pancake World,” Rory teased

“Thanks, I try.”

“Oh come on, you know you’ve never had to try,”

“Really?” he asked seductively.

“Really. When you returned _Howl_ with all those notes in the margins –you looked at me and said, ‘ _Well, what is much?_ ’ You have no idea what you did to me, even then,”

Jess stepped back and looked into Rory’s eyes. Her sincerity took him by surprise. _Howl_ happed within two days of when they met. He was overcome to learn that she felt everything he did, from the first moment he felt it. From the very beginning, there was no denying that the two of them together was as natural and essential as the air they breathed.

Pressing his palm against the small of her back, Jess pulled Rory into him, so that almost every inch of their bodies were pressed together. He leaned in to kiss her, holding her face between his palms and coaxing her lips apart slowly with his own. It didn’t take Rory long to oblige, snaking her arms underneath his and letting her fingers find their way to tangle in Jess’ hair, keeping him tightly pinned against her as they stood. Jess kissed her with reckless abandon, the two of them sighing and moaning and whimpering together as their kiss continued to deepen.

They fumbled, not bothering to break their connection to watch where they were going as they started to move. Their hands were greedy and quick, but Jess was careful not to be rough with the delicate material of Rory’s dress. Rory backed into the nightstand with a gentle thud; Jess instinctively moved his hands, grabbing her biceps gently to steady her.

Rory started fiddling with Jess’ tie. Eventually she was able to loosen it enough to pull it over his head. Jess shrugged his suit jacket off in one smooth motion, tossing it onto the bed before he returned to the meticulous task of trying to find a way into Rory’s dress. His hard work was rewarded when he felt several small eyehook clasps joining the strap across the top of her shoulder blades. He unhooked it gently, the lightweight fabric slipping away from her skin easily. Shifting his weight back, he allowed for just enough room to let it fall. The top fell unceremoniously, the dress still anchored to Rory’s body by the low-lying rear zipper.

“Fuck me,” Jess rasped out, more in surprise rather than command. Rory was wearing a flesh coloured, strapless lace corset bra.

“I intend to,” Rory whispered, biting his ear softly. One by one, Rory undid the buttons of Jess’ shirt and kissed her way down.

“Jesus. What are you doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Rory…” Jess placed his palms on her shoulders when she started working to free him of his belt.

Rory stood slowly, looking him in the eye. She was surprised to see that he was trembling. Very gently, she took his face in her hands and pressed their foreheads together. “You’ve done enough for me, Jess. Let me do something for you,” she said sincerely. She smiled when he opened his eyes and leaned in so that her breath tickled his skin. “Besides, you’ve earned it. Don’t you think it’s time for me to find out if you taste as amazing to me as I do to you?”

“You have no idea what you do to me, Gilmore,” he breathed as he cradled the back of Rory’s neck in his palm.

Rory smiled before pulling Jess into a deep kiss, sucking on his bottom lip until she felt him let go, entrusting himself to her, relinquishing himself to whatever was about to happen.

Smiling against his skin, Rory slowly moved her way back down; Jess’ breath hitched when swirled her tongue around each of his nipples. Continuing down, she lightly licked and sucked every perfect curve and hollow she found along the way. Rory paused below his belly button, wrapping her arms around his hips and hugging him in earnest, pressing her cheek against his stomach.

When he felt Rory wrap her arms around him, Jess’ heart skipped a beat. He stared down at her until she could feel his gaze. When they locked eyes, neither one of them moved, nor spoke. Jess’ mouth curled upwards into a beautiful crooked smile and he ran his fingers lightly up and down Rory’s arms. Finding their anchor in each other, Jess closed his eyes, still smiling as Rory resumed her slow descent.

Rory released Jess from his pants delicately. She was nervous; she’d never been a fan of this particular act. Every other time she found herself here, it was purely for the enjoyment of the person she was with. She’d heard that this could be a turn on for women too –empowering even- but she never got that feeling and was skeptical of every woman who told her how incredibly meaningful the experience could be. But now, as she took Jess’ length in her hand and darted her tongue out, she finally started to understand.

Her tongue had barely touched him and Jess’ head fell back. He widened his stance slightly and planted his feet firmly. Rory started slow, kissing her way up, down, around and across, pumping him gently with her hand all the while. When she upgraded from kissing to licking, she heard –and felt- a low groan escape Jess’ lips.

She noted every twitch of his muscles, every hitch of his breath, every hiss and sigh. She realized in one overwhelming instant that she didn’t need to be told what to do or how to do it, she just knew. Suddenly, she understood with beautiful clarity the depth of what he had told her not two days earlier: all Jess wanted, all Jess needed was Rory.

She smiled as she licked the underside of his shaft; when she hit a delicate spot that made him exhale a curse, she paused and kissed it, sucking gently on his tender skin.

“God, fu-” Jess couldn’t even get the words out.

When Rory made her way slowly back to his tip, she paused to look up at him. Jess swung his head down slowly, his dark hair falling with it, framing his face. His deep brown eyes locked on Rory’s, desire threatening to burn him gloriously from the inside out. He reached both arms down and held her face in his hands, letting his fingers play with the tiny wisps of hair that floated free from the intricate spiral.

Their gaze never broke as Rory took him slowly in her mouth, swirling her tongue around his tip before gradually taking in more. As Rory took him in, she moaned softly. Jess released one of his hands from her hair and slammed his open palm against the wall above the nightstand. A small, dry sob of ecstasy escaped his throat.

Rory took her time. She continued to work him in and out slowly, using one hand to follow and mimic her mouth while wrapping her other arm around Jess’ hips to feel his perfect backside. Within minutes, Jess stiffened and Rory could feel him start to tremble again. Jess relaxed his arm, which burned as he retreated his hand from the wall. He clenched his fists for an instant and released them, reaching down to run his fingers along Rory’s face.

“Please,” he choked out, “Rory, please.” He continued to trace patterns on her skin until she stilled and released him slowly. Jess’ heart was racing and he let out a ragged sigh. “Get up here,” he ordered softly.

“But I want to –”

“No,” Jess said simply between laboured breaths.

“Why?” Rory asked with wide eyes.

“Because,” he grinned, “I don’t want to ruin your makeup. We don’t have time to get messy. Besides,” he said as he pulled her to her feet, “that’s not how I want to finish this.”

Rory laughed quietly and allowed him to fit his hands under her arms and help her up. Once she was on her feet, Jess wasted no time pinning her to the nightstand and kissing her fiercely, nipping her mouth lightly with his teeth and moaning as he tasted himself on her lips.

Without breaking their kiss he lifted her up, perching her carefully on the edge on the nightstand. He held her steady, keeping an arm wrapped around her waist as he slid his other hand up her skirt. As he started to pull her tiny lace panties down, he realized they were soaked right through. “Holy shit,” Jess breathed, “you got off on it.”

Rory bit her lower lip and nodded. Lacing her fingers together around the back of his neck, she whispered, “Only you.”

Jess yanked her panties off with a growl, quickly tossing them onto the bed next to his suit jacket. Holding her legs, Jess gently pushed the skirt of her dress up. “Can I?” he asked, tentatively balling the fabric into his hands as he grabbed her hips to keep it out of the way.

Rory nodded silently and locked her heels together around Jess’ back.

“Good. It makes it easier to do this,” he said lowly, plunging all the way inside of her.

Rory sucked in a sharp breath of air and buried her face in Jess’ neck to muffle her scream.

Jess silenced his own moans of pleasure by trailing hot kisses up and down her neck and across her shoulders and throat. Any bare skin that was exposed to him, he carefully devoured. Today was not the day to leave marks and he knew there wasn’t time to free her of her corset bra. The fact that she wasn’t fully naked just turned him on even more.

They picked up their already frantic pace and soon Jess felt Rory start to tremble. He wrapped his arms all the way around her, gently locking his elbows around her ribcage and lifting her up ever so slightly, allowing them to align even more fully. He was amazed at how well their bodies literally fit together, like two intricate halves of a jigsaw; even in a heated rush, it just happened, without either of them having to try, or look. With one last heavy thrust, Jess and Rory peaked together.

Jess continued to hold Rory up, pressed against him until the last of his own tremors subsided. Eventually he set her down gently, kissing the top of her head. He laughed softly and hugged her tight. “You’re amazing. Turn around,”

“Jess!” Rory squealed.

“I’m pleasantly spent, thank you very much. Let me help you with your dress.”

“You can do up those tiny hooks?”

“I found a way to undo them without resorting to ripping, didn’t I? It stands to reason that if I found a way to get it off you, I should be able to manage fastening it together again.”

“Such a gentleman,” Rory said, turning on her heel and threading her arms through the holes.

“It’s the least I can do,” Jess said, kissing her neck and making quick work of the eyehook closure. “I didn’t mess up your hair, did I?”

“Nope, it’s still a haute couture mess.”

“Good. I don’t want you walking down the isle with ‘freshly fucked’ written all over you. I, on the other hand, may be staggering a bit,” he chuckled.

“Well, it’s a good thing it’s a short isle then,” Rory laughed as she buttoned his shirt back up. She bent down and picked up his tie. She giggled as she slipped it over his head, causing his hair to cling to his damp skin. Kissing his nose, she smoothed his hair and tightened his tie until it was just so, folding his collar neatly. Standing back, Rory raised an eyebrow. “Don’t forget to pull your pants up, Casanova.”

“My you’re saucy today. I like it,” Jess laughed, pulling up his pants and fastening his belt.

“Yeah, I’ll bet you do.” Rory shifted her weight to reach around him and grab her underwear off the bed.

“No, no,” Jess quietly intercepted her. “These, I’m keeping.”

“You are, are you?”

“Memories,” he winked, folding them carefully before setting them down on the bed to put on his suit jacket. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all, good sir,” Rory replied with a sly smile.

“Thank you, miss,” he said before slipping them into the inside pocket of his jacket. “I promise I’ll keep them safe. Now, shall we get your mother and my uncle married?” He asked, offering Rory his arm.

“Yes, I think that is a splendid idea,” Rory said, looping her arm through his.

* * *

 “Should we hold hands and skip?” Jess asked Luke as they stood outside the wedding tent, waiting for the signal.

Luke shot Jess a glare and broke down laughing.

“Going once… Going twice…”

“I think I’ll pass,” Luke said with a grin.  
  
“Alright, fine. But if you regret your choice not to make a memorable entrance, you can’t ever say that I didn’t bother to ask.”

“Thanks for agreeing to be up there with me today. There’s no one I’d rather have standing beside me as my best man,” Luke said sincerely.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re just saying that because the only men you know are Jackson, Kirk, TJ –who isn’t even here- and Michel –who was ordered to stay away, so that he didn’t end up being surly and insulting to all of your guests. Admit it Luke, you have no male friends,” Jess said sarcastically.

“For all of Michel’s surliness, he really does enjoy working with Lorelai and Sookie; he’s very loyal to them. They have a weirdly strong bond,” Luke said, shaking his head quizzically. “But we got him Celine Dion concert tickets –in Montreal. Seeing his musical obsession in her hometown was more than enough to make him deliriously happy to be far, far away from here.”

“You and Lorelai bribed him to stay away from your wedding? Classy. And genius,” Jess laughed.

“Jess, I mean it. Thank you. This means a lot to me –sharing this with you.”

Jess pulled Luke into a hug. “I’m glad you finally wised up. Lorelai’s perfect for you.”

“Thanks,”  
  
“There’s no one I’d rather be yelled at and then shoved off a bridge by. That bridge will always be ours Uncle Luke,” Jess teased.

Luke smacked the back of Jess’ head lightly before chuckling in spite of himself. Upon hearing the first familiar notes of Pachelbel’s Canon, they both took a deep breath. Luke reached down slowly, taking Jess’ hand very discreetly. “What the hell,” he muttered. “No skipping, though.”

“Of course not, we’re far too manly.”

 “Damn straight.”

As he entered the wedding tent, Jess looked around and saw the faces of countless people who spent years warding him off, trying to keep him away from Rory; a room full of people who were practically chomping at the bit to say _‘I told you so!’_ every time he fucked up. For his part, he realized he wasn’t exactly mister congeniality; he never cared enough to give anyone in Stars Hollow any reason to like him. But now, as he walked down the isle hand-in-hand with Luke, Jess saw that no one was looking at him like a punk anymore. They looked at him with respect, understanding and genuine kindness. For the first time, the people of Stars Hollow were able to see Jess as the man he had become instead of the mixed up kid he used to be.

The same could not be said for Emily Gilmore, who wore a subtle but permanent scowl every time their glances happened to meet. Jess decided not to let it get to him; he knew he couldn’t please everyone. There was no great love lost in knowing that he’d never be Emily Gilmore’s favourite person –or even Richard’s for that matter. That suited Jess just fine, as long as the three of them could find a way to be civil to each other.

At the bottom of the isle, both men embraced before turning their attention to the tiny slit they had entered through. As Jess he waited for Rory to appear, he couldn’t shake the feeling of being a nervous groom; he knew this was ridiculous on many levels –this was not his wedding and he’d already seen Rory; he had her panties stashed in his pocket.

Behind the naughty inside joke, there was something else: Jess never believed in marriage. He never really believed in the idea of love, even. Maybe it was because Jimmy skipped out on him and refused to acknowledge him even when Jess begged, even just for the sake of a place to crash when he was horribly mixed up. Maybe it was because Liz was thrown into motherhood and never really learned how to be one; maybe it was because as he grew up, there was a never-ending parade of losers dating his mother and coming in and out of his life on a revolving door. He grew up believing that he wasn’t worthy of love, that he didn’t deserve it –surely if he did, Jimmy would’ve been less of a deadbeat and Liz would’ve made more of an effort to raise him and be part of his life. Love was something Jess read about in books, but it was an allusion that always faded when he got to the last page.

Rory changed everything. She showed him he was worthy of love, and being loved. Just as Lorelai had told Jess he had done for Rory, Rory loved Jess for who he was –she didn’t want to change him. Rory embraced Jess with her whole heart; even when he was at his worst and most irredeemable, she saw through it all and loved him anyway, not in spite of his flaws but because his imperfections matched her own. The saying goes that ‘ _you come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly_ ’; because of Rory, Jess finally understood what that meant.

When Rory appeared at the end of the isle, she was glowing. Jess couldn’t take his eyes off her. He was suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling, a sense that he couldn’t quite put his finger on until they locked eyes and smiled at each other. He watched her chin quiver with emotion and he felt his own throat close up as the enormity of his feelings hit him: Jess did believe in marriage –to this woman. He knew that he was going to love Rory for the rest of his life and he realized that eventually, he wanted to make those vows to her.

Jess was so caught up in his private epiphany that he barely noticed Lorelai walking down the isle. Even though her dress suited her perfectly and was flawless, Jess knew that it wasn’t her wedding gown that made her beautiful –it was how utterly and completely in love she was; it was the way that she looked at Luke as she walked towards him. Looking at Luke, Jess saw the same thing in his uncle’s eyes. It didn’t matter how many other people were there, for Luke and Lorelai, the lights were dim and it was just the two of them –the rest of the world fell away.

* * *

 “The first time I met Lorelai, I stole a beer from her fridge. When she caught me, I asked her if she was sleeping with my Uncle Luke. She told me that she wished she had a giant cream pie to smash in my face. She also told me how alike we were; I told her she didn’t know anything about me. Turns out we are very alike. The day after the beer and the cream pie threat, my Uncle Luke shoved me in a lake. The lake thing was about something else on the face of it, but it would be foolish of me not to point out the entirely obvious connection between those two events. I would like to say, for the record that I had these two pegged within forty-eight hours of my arrival in this town.

“Before I asked Lorelai what was, at the time an inappropriate question about her private life, she told me something else; she told me that I was incredibly lucky to have someone like Luke to care about me. I thought she was full of it, but it turns out she was right about that too. Truth is, I didn’t know much about what it meant to truly care about anyone, or have anyone give much of a damn about me until I landed on an air mattress in Luke’s apartment. Luke is the closest thing to a father I’ve ever had and until recently, I’ll bet he doubted that all the time. But, I wouldn’t be the man I am today if it weren’t for him.

“I ribbed him hard about Lorelai every chance I got and I know he hated me for it sometimes. But here’s one more bit of truth: Lorelai makes Luke happier than he’s ever been. They’ve always belonged together –it only took me two days to figure that out. So, to Lorelai –thank you for loving my Uncle Luke, just as he is and thank you for all of the ways you tried to help me so many years ago even though I never let you. And to my Uncle Luke –don’t screw it up. Now that you’ve finally got her, don’t ever let her go. Loving a Gilmore is life changing. Cheers, to the happy couple!”

“That was quite the speech, Mariano,” Rory said adoringly as they danced later.

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely. It might’ve been better than mine.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I liked hearing about all the birthday cakes Luke made you as you grew up and how awkward he felt when you hugged him for every last one of them. Also, hearing about the number of movies and girly things you made him sit through was truly a kick. By the way, it is just occurring to me now how weird this whole sharing a father figure thing is.”

Rory stilled in Jess’ arms. “Did you mean what you said?”

“Which part?” Jess asked. “The cream pie or the near drowning? I swear on my Hemingway collection –all true.”  
             
“Jess,” Rory blushed.

“Really? After what you did to me earlier you’re blushing _now_? You’re adorable. Turns out you’ve had quite the impact on my life. And for the record,” he whispered, “I figured that out _years_ before you let me keep your underwear.”

Rory knew he was trying to be funny, but she wasn’t laughing. Instead, she just kissed him.

When they pulled apart, Jess smiled. “Oh, I’ve been meaning to tell you, I’m getting my GED. I only have two exams left. I meant to tell you earlier, but I was distracted by all the sex,” he winked.

“Really?! Jess, that’s amazing! I’m so proud of you!” Rory threw her arms around him. “I love you,” she said sincerely. “I’m so excited! Now I’ll be able to prove that my boyfriend is a brain. I can’t wait to parade your credentials around. When you get your diploma, you need to make me a copy, and frame it.”

Jess laughed and kissed her nose.

“Are we interrupting?” Emily asked with a self-satisfied smirk.

Rory and Jess jumped apart. “Of course not, Mrs. Gilmore,” Jess said pleasantly, “you look lovely.”

“Thank you Jess,” Emily said blandly. “What on earth happened to your hand?”

“I finally hit the guy back, Mrs. Gilmore,”

Rory stifled a giggle against Jess’ shoulder.

“I beg your pardon? Have I missed something?” Richard asked, perplexed.

“No, Mr. Gilmore. It’s nothing.”

Emily rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath.

“Hey guys, you enjoying the party?” Lorelai asked, inserting herself into the standoff between Jess and her mother. “Hey, it’s my favourite step… nephew,” she said haltingly, pulling him into a hug. “Thank you, again. Your speech was beautiful,” she whispered emotionally.

“I meant every word,” Jess said truthfully. “Excuse me,” he said, releasing her slowly. “I have to go to the little boy’s room.” Jess gave Rory a quick peck on the lips before he left. When she clutched his arm, he ran his thumb across her cheek to soothe her. “I’ll be right back Ror,” he said lovingly.

Emily let out an exasperated sigh. “Unbelievable,” she muttered.

Rory rolled her eyes and became immediately defensive. “What did Jess do now Grandma, besides compliment you on your dress?”

“Really Mom, Jess didn’t do anything wrong. He was just being nice. Lighten up on the poor guy,” Lorelai said.

“I’m sorry, I just cannot abide his presence in Rory’s life,” Emily said sharply.

“Grandma! How dare you!” Rory snapped

“Hey!” Lorelai yelled. “This is neither the time or the place to be having this discussion, _again._ Do you hear me? Drop it. Now.”

Emily paid no attention to her daughter’s warnings or her granddaughter’s feelings. “Rory, how could you knowingly become involved with that thug, _again_? Did you see his hand, all bruised and swollen? You told me he’s changed –well clearly he’s done no such thing. He’s just as much of a ruffian as he’s always been.”

“Emily,” Richard warned. “I agree with Lorelai. This is hardly the time nor the place for this conversation.”

“Richard! How can you be so blithe about this whole thing? You know as well as I do –he has no business being with her. He is not suitable for her, Richard and you know it. You told me yourself, he didn’t even finish high school. I mean honestly Rory, how many utterly inappropriate ex-boyfriends will you keep finding your way back to time and time again? At least Dean wasn’t delusional; he knew he’d never be good enough for anything other than whatever work would allow him to drive his precious pick-up truck for the rest of his life. As soon as Dean understood that he had no business being romantically involved with a sophomore at Yale, his headlights never darkened our doorway again.”

Jess was just about to re-enter the room when he overheard Emily’s tirade against him. At the mention of Dean’s name, his heart sank and his stomach twisted into knots; he felt violently ill as he quickly did the math and figured out the timeline of the entire thing. Jess started laughing, quietly and maniacally. “You have got to be fucking kidding me,” he spat under his breath, -venom dripping from every syllable. He turned around and violently stormed out.

Rory instantly felt nauseous, all the blood drained from her face; she started sobbing uncontrollably. “Jess, wait!” she called frantically, running after him.

Lorelai looked at her father, who appeared as confused and shell shocked as ever. She was, in the midst of her shock and anger able to give Richard some credit for trying to defuse the whole situation before it exploded. He knew the results would be devastating. But neither of them had the slightest idea just _how_ devastating Emily’s ill-timed outburst really was.

Lorelai turned to her mother and felt nothing but contempt for the woman who had given her life. “You have no idea what you just did, do you? You are not welcome here anymore. Leave. Now.”


	20. Chapter 20

“Jess! Wait!” Rory sobbed, running after him into the night. “Please wait!”  
             
Jess was walking at a determined clip, taking long angry strides. He kept walking until he was a safe distance from the reception –well out of earshot with no one around as far as the eye could see.

“Please,” Rory cried, reaching for Jess’ arm.

Jess flinched away and turned on his heel to face her. He was fuming and his face was pale with rage. Unlike every other time he’d witnessed Rory break down in the last few months, the sight of her crying before him now did not move him at all. In fact, Jess had no desire to even touch her. “Dean was married, Rory,” he seethed.

For an instant, Rory’s tears stopped and she cocked her head. “How did you –?”

“It doesn’t matter how the fuck I knew!” Jess screamed. “Fine, you wanna know how I knew? I came back to this dipshit town to walk Liz down the isle for her stupid Renaissance wedding to that quack and I ran into your precious Bag Boy at Dosie’s, running up a spectacular bill of feminine products. He told me they were for his wife.”

Rory’s face fell.

“Dean was fucking _married_ , Rory.”

“He was,” she said quietly.

“So, I’m listening,” Jess spat.

“It’s complicated,”

“Oh no. Not with the ‘complicated’ shit again, please. It seems like a pretty simple equation to me. You missed Mister Tall Dark and Boring so much that you couldn’t even let anyone else be bored by him. So you fucked him, right? And he fell right back under your spell because he’s a sucker for hot women using big words that he can’t even spell. I’m sure he was all too happy to throw his moral compass out the window.”

Rory flinched at his words. “You have no idea what was going on in my life Jess. You have _no idea_ what was happening with me.”

“Enlighten me then, because I am dying to know how _you_ of all people would ever fall into bed with your married ex-boyfriend.”

“You left, Jess!” Rory screamed. “What I did was wrong and I’m ashamed of it. But don’t you stand there all self-righteous and demand to have an explanation as though you actually have a right to judge me! You left. You bolted to California –you never called, I didn’t hear a peep from you. Do you have any idea what that did to me? Any idea at all? And then, you show up here, you tell me you love me and then you leave, _again._ ”

“Don’t you dare blame this on me.” Jess clenched his fist and released it, inhaling sharply. “I know I fucked up. I know I ran. I know I hurt you. But don’t you _dare_ pin your spectacularly shitty moral judgment all on me.”

“There were other things too, Jess. Lots of other things,” Rory said, wiping her tears.

“Like what?” Jess asked callously.

“Doesn’t matter now. I’m not saying this was all your fault, it wasn’t. But you weren’t here. Dean was –”

“Dean was there for you, right? Of course he was. You know, for such a big guy, I’m surprised at how easily I mistake him for a sissy girl. Dean’s a tool. Sad Rory, with more pliable legs; he had to get in there while he could right? You froze him out for what, two years? He recognized his only opportunity to see stars and he jumped right in. Wedding vows be damned.”

Rory staggered back, as if Jess had actually struck her. “Fuck you,”

“Yeah, you did. I guess now I know where you honed your skills.”

“Wow, for someone who screwed countless women to numb his pain, you’re quite the hypocrite,” Rory said.

Jess laughed bitterly. “Oh no. No, no. Meaningless sex to numb the pain of loneliness is not even remotely close to falling into bed with your ex-boyfriend and breaking up his marriage. You know it isn’t, so stop wasting your breath. I didn’t love any of those women, Rory.”

“Jess, I didn’t do this _to you_ ,”

“No, of course not. Because I wasn’t here, right? What surprises me is not that Dean managed find a way to weasel between your legs. What surprises me is that you _let him_. Tell me, is there a vomit inducing cliché that explains why he’s so dumb? Was he good? Is it true that God gives men a penis and a brain and only enough blood to work one?”

Again, Rory flinched. Her tears started flowing freely once more.

Jess knew he was hurting her; he knew he was saying things that he shouldn’t say. He didn’t derive pleasure from Rory’s pain, but for the first time in his life he was frighteningly unmoved by the fact that he was causing it. His anger ran too deep for him to care and underneath his anger at her, an undercurrent of self-hatred for his own role in the entire mess started to take root. Jess knew he would hate himself down to the depths of his soul for what was coming out of his mouth now, but he couldn’t make himself care enough in the moment to actually stop.

“Please stop,” Rory cried weakly. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Jess.”

Jess could see Rory getting weaker and weaker. She never once told him he was wrong. He was being awful and saying disgusting things to her, but she wasn’t trying very hard to defend herself. As the fatally sharp edges of his rage gave way to a dull ache, he felt himself get weaker too. He took a deep breath and forced himself to ask the one question that he couldn’t prevent from bubbling to the surface. “That night,” he said softly, his voice cracking, “when I came to Yale and you sent him away –did you say no to me because you were-”

“No! Jess, no,” Rory said quickly. “I know you hate me right now and you have every right to. But please believe me, Dean had nothing to do with that. That’s not why I said no. Please believe me Jess, please.”

Jess let out a massive sigh. He couldn’t quite bring himself to look at her, but he was relieved. “I do,” he said simply. “I do believe you. So how long after I left did you –?”

“Does it really matter?”

“Wow,” Jess laughed bitterly and sucked in a deep breath of air past the lump in his throat. “That soon, huh? Christ…” He turned his back on Rory to let a few bitter tears fall, clenching his hand into a fist and sticking his knuckles in his mouth to muffle his cry. Pinching the bridge of his nose and swallowing hard, he faced her again. “Okay, so, let me see if I have this figured out: I came to see you and I begged you to come away with me. You said no, which I don’t really blame you for because I definitely didn’t have my shit figured out. But you said no, and for the sake of argument and my sanity, let’s say it took you what? One week? Two? But you fall in bed with Dean –and for the love of God, don’t tell me how long it took- but eventually, your grandparents catch wind of it and they can’t have that, so they throw you a party and take credit for introducing you to Yale’s dickhead son. Am I close?”

Rory gave a tiny wordless nod and stared at her feet.

“I take it they have no idea he was married?”

“No.”

“Right. So when I don’t go back in with you, you tell them I got sick, okay?”

“Jess, please,” Rory begged.

“No. I should go. Before I say more shit to you that I’ll regret. I’ve already said more than I can easily live with. And now –now I have to learn how to live with _this_ too.”

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed.

“I know you are. You being sorry isn’t the problem. Despite my stunning verbal assault I also know you didn’t do this to hurt me and yet…” He let out a ragged breath. “You were never going to tell me, were you?”

“Probably not,” Rory admitted.

“Yeah, that was probably a wise choice. Your grandmother’s probably not even sorry, huh? As long as I’m out of the picture, her job is done.”

Rory looked at Jess with wide eyes and stopped breathing.

Jess inched forward slightly. “I don’t hate you Rory. I could never hate you. I. Will. Never. Hate you. That’s the problem. I need to go now.”

“Jess, no. Please,”

“Yes. I have to go, because right now when I look at you, I don’t see the woman I love. I see the woman I love in bed with Dean and that –that makes me feel sick to my stomach.” Jess reached into the pocket of his suit jacket, silently took out her underwear and pressed them into her palm. “Did Dean get to keep your panties too?”

“Jess, I’m so sorry,” Rory cried desperately.

“I’m sorry too. I need time, Rory. Just let me go, and give me time,” Jess said, kissing her head lightly before disappearing.


	21. Chapter 21

“Has he said anything to you?” Andrew asked Matt and Chris.

Both men shook their heads sullenly. “You?” Matt asked Andrew.

“You two are the ones who live in this house with him,” Andrew said. “If he hasn’t said anything to you, why do you think he’d talk to me?”

“Man, he’s the same way with us that he is with you and Joe when you’re here,” Chris said with a sigh. “When he’s not working, he’s holed up in his apartment. He hasn’t even had to venture out for the sake of food. It’s a good thing he can cook.”

“Really? He and Rory had the fight to end all fights and you think he’s up there cooking? One of us should really check on him –make sure he isn’t living on nothing but rum and coke and cigarettes,” Matt said.

“He’s smoking again? I haven’t seen him with a cigarette since…” Andrew trailed off.

“I haven’t seen him light up since the afternoon of our February open house,” Chris said. “I don’t think he’s touched them since he’s been back with Rory. He just quit –cold turkey. It’s like she showed up here and he realized he didn’t need them.”

“Guys, we have to do something,” Matt said.

“Like what? Do you even know what they fought about?” Andrew asked.

“No, he won’t say. Any time we even try to bring it up, be supportive, he just bottles up. We’ve all seen it. All he’ll talk about is work. We can’t exactly get mad –guy may be depressed, but he’s working like a dog. He met all five deadlines we had this week. I mean I feel bad for the guy, but gotta respect the work ethic.”

“Jess has always had a work ethic, Matt, a damn impressive one,” Joe said, easily sliding into the conversation as he came in the front door. “This isn’t a work ethic, it’s desperation. Whatever happened with Rory at his uncle’s wedding has seriously messed with him. Why do you think he does all his drinking at night? He needs to stay sharp when he works, because work is the only thing he has. He drinks enough to help him fall asleep –no more, no less. We’ve all seen each other drunk and hung over. If Jess were struggling through the workday –if he even drank enough to give himself a headache- we’d be able to tell. He’s hurting, Matt. Like, a lot.”

“Do you think maybe we should call his uncle –what was his name, Luke?” Chris suggested.

“Right. And what exactly would we say? We only met the guy that one night he was here for the February event. We can’t just look him up and call him and be like, ‘Hi Luke, you probably don’t remember us, but we’re friends with Jess. And, well, if you wouldn’t mind, can you tell us what exactly Rory and Jess fought about at your wedding last week? He’s scary depressed and we just want to help.’ Come on Chris, you know we can’t do that. Jess would blow a gasket if we phoned his uncle behind his back. Besides, do you honestly think his uncle isn’t trying seriously hard to help him already? When Jess is ready to talk, he will. But I really think right now we just need to give him space,” Andrew said.

 “And make sure he has food to eat,” Matt interjected. “Seriously guys. If he needs to throw himself into work, then we should let him –it’s better than him sitting around under a dark cloud, obsessing over whatever happened at that wedding for every waking minute of the day; work should offer him a complete escape, whenever he needs it. He won’t take kindly to being babied or having the room go quiet every time he walks in, that’s not what he needs. He’s in a really dark place right now so we just need to let him be in it. We can’t do much for him, but we can make sure his fridge is stocked with his favourite stuff. So we need to take turns sneaking out to shop and we need to sneak it up to his apartment while he’s down here working with us while his door is unlocked. We can split the bill between the four of us for as long as it takes. Andrew’s right, Jess will talk to us when he’s ready. In the meantime, until he starts to find his way out of the dark place, the least we can do is make sure our boy doesn’t starve.”

 All four men let out a heavy sigh and agreed. They wanted nothing more than to help Jess, but they knew him well enough to know that he needed his space. For as long as it took –and even after he started talking to them- his friends would pool their resources to make sure his fridge stayed full and they would take turns checking his supply levels to make sure he was actually eating. All of them felt like it wasn’t much considering the magnitude of what Jess was going through, but they would do it until their friend found his way out of the darkness.

* * *

 Since Lorelai and Luke’s wedding, whenever Jess wasn’t completely thrown into his work, his mind was littered with images and scenarios of Dean making love to Rory – _his_ Rory. Jess didn’t blame himself for Rory’s poor judgment, but he did torture himself with thoughts of how the whole thing might not have happened at all if he’d stuck around after the first time he told her he loved her. He blamed himself for being too scared to stay and fight for her. Her one biting comeback from their fight rang in his head like a bell: _‘Don’t you stand there all self-righteous and demand to have an explanation as though you actually have a right to judge me! You left. You bolted to California –you never called, I didn’t hear a peep from you. Do you have any idea what that did to me? Any idea at all? And then, you show up here, you tell me you love me and then you leave, again.’_

Jess didn’t know what else was going on in her life that drove her to Dean, but he knew his leaving was a contributing factor –a big one. He was quite the misanthrope that year and even though her name was only mentioned in a _‘Stay away from her!’_ context, Jess could read between Luke and Lorelai’s angry lines. They were being too severe when they told him to keep his distance. When Lorelai saw Jess outside of Gypsy’s garage and she told him, _‘She is over you. She has moved on and she is very happy,’_ he could tell plain as day she was trying too hard. He had no pieces to put together, but he could tell just by the way Lorelai had said it that Rory clearly wasn’t as happy as her mother was trying to make her seem.    Between his cameos in her life that year and now knowing about Dean, Jess was positive that no new guy came into her life until she met Logan. Though he knew he wasn’t the only factor, Jess knew that a big chunk of Rory’s less than perfect mindset two years ago could be traced back to him. He broke her heart and she struggled to find a way to move on, which was made worse by the brief and highly charged appearances he made. Jess could not have known at the time how wise Luke was to chew him out for telling Rory he loved her and then leaving.

“The ball was not in her court. How could you be so stupid?” he muttered to himself every day.

 At night, he was kept awake by the heartless things he said to her. _‘Sad Rory, with more pliable legs … Was he good? Is it true that God gives men a penis and a brain and only enough blood to work one?_ ’ Before he left her that night, he told her he’d said things he wouldn’t be able to live with easily and ever since then, he barely felt alive at all –he merely existed. Work was his only outlet, the only thing he could pour his energy into. He marked up manuscripts like a fiend, replied to all the emails he’d been ignoring for a month and had two screaming matches with the printers who dealt with the ‘zine. Without his nightly double rum and coke, he wouldn’t sleep at all. On one hand, every waking moment was torturous; putting on a good face or a courteous tone when he was working was exhausting. But at the same time, sleep became his enemy –his dreams invaded by explicit visions of Rory and Dean, complete with digital surround sound and punctuated with his own spiteful words: _‘I guess now I know where you honed your skills.’_

Jess told Rory he would never hate her; that was true. He asked her to let him go and to give him time, but he had no idea what that meant. Jess didn’t know what to hope for –he didn’t know whether he hoped for the days to get easier or if he secretly harboured a desire to stay in the depths of misery –because the idea of enough time passing to dull the pain was more terrifying than the agony.

A week and a half after the wedding, Jess woke up in a cold sweat to the sound of his phone buzzing next to his bed. “What?” he muttered sleepily.

“Jesus Jess, you sound like death,” Luke said.

“Yeah, well, I feel pretty dead. What’s up, Luke?”

“Nothing. Just calling to see how you are,”

“I’m the same as I was when you called me two days ago. Did you know you got married ten days ago? Do you really want Lorelai thinking you’re being unfaithful already?”

“Hey, watch it, you. I care. I’m calling because I care. People check on people they care about when the people they love are going through hard times. It’s a thing,”

“Geez Luke, and how many ‘people’ are living in your head right now?”

“How many people are living in yours?” Luke countered.

After a beat, Jess said, “Three. And lots of dark rum –but I only drink after six, I promise.”

“Are you smoking again?”

“Why yes _Mom_ , I am. Do you have a problem with that?”

“Jess,”

“What?!” Jess snapped.

“Nothing,” Luke faltered. “If you’re drinking, make sure you eat –you gotta sop up the alcohol.”

“I told you Luke, I drink after six, once I’m done work for the day. Have you been trading telegrams with the guys? They’ve snuck up here a few times to stock my fridge when they think I’m not paying attention. And then, because they’re weird, another one sneaks up with nothing –I’m pretty sure the one who has nothing is checking my supply levels, to make sure I’m eating.”

“They’re your people Jess. They care about you,”

“Christ, again with the ‘people’. I don’t need ‘people’. I’m not a ‘people’ person.”

“Jess…”

“Luke…”

Luke sighed. “Rory, she didn’t –”

“Luke, I love you. But I swear to fucking God, if you tell me she didn’t sleep with Dean with the explicit intent of hurting me, I will throttle you through the phone. I know she didn’t. But just because the knife wasn’t _intended_ to be twisted in my gut doesn’t mean it’s any less fatal once I’ve been stabbed.”

“Lots of stab wounds to the gut aren’t fatal at all actually, I mean it all depends on the placement. The most likely area to suffer a guttural stabbing is in your intestines, which is way less severe than say, a knife to your kidney –you’re pretty much a goner if that’s the case –”

“How the hell do you know all this, Luke? You don’t have murdered women stashed in a crawlspace somewhere in Lorelai’s house, do you? Not the best way to build the foundations of your marriage. _‘The call is coming from inside the house,’_ ” Jess said with a tiny snicker.

The sound of Jess’ laughter –brief and bitter though it might have been- caused Luke to release a tiny, silent sigh of relief. “Jess, that isn’t what I was going to say. I understand why you’re mad and even why you feel betrayed. Those feelings are very justified. I was going to say that you know she had no intention of ever telling you; you understand why omitting this particular truth from you was for the best. Rory knew how it would wound you and she wanted to save you from the pain it would cause. You’ve always loved each other passionately and intensely, so it stands to reason that you’d fight the same way. Couples who never fight are almost always unhappy. The more intensely you fight, the more in love you are. If you didn’t love her so much, you wouldn’t bother to fight. Your love is real Jess; if you didn’t _really_ love this girl in a serious-but-terrifying-I-want-to-spend-my-life-with-you way, you wouldn’t be in so much pain.”

“Wow, when the hell did you get so wise?”

“I’ve always been wise, smartass. People have a thing for not listening to me sometimes,”

“Nice subtle dig at me there, Luke,” Jess said.

“I wasn’t taking a dig at you,” Luke said, “Jess, Rory understands all too well what this is doing to you. There’s a reason she made the decision not to tell you and underneath your righteous anger riff, you understand the logic behind her choice. You know you do. The whole thing is a disaster and your anger is totally justified. But Rory will not be the one to reach out here. She doesn’t think she deserves to be forgiven for hurting you this way; she’ll never ask.”

 “Luke, I can’t just –”

“I know. But this is the part where I remind you –very gently- she didn’t do this _to you_ , Jess.”

“I know she didn’t,” Jess sighed. “I just need –”

“You need time. And you should take it,” Luke reassured him.

“I said some awful things to her, Luke,” Jess said quietly. “Disgusting things. Things I don’t think I can forgive myself for. Things _she_ _shouldn’t_ forgive me for.”

“Jess, listen to me. Everyone says things they regret when they’re angry, when they feel like they’ve been betrayed. I’ve been on the receiving end of your rage more than most, so I think I have a pretty good idea of the types of things you spat at her. You probably shouldn’t have said what you did –but you did. You can’t change that now. Do you really think she won’t be able to forgive you? Rory is carrying the burden of guilt here, Jess; whatever you said, no matter how nasty –she probably felt like she deserved it.”

Jess winced; he knew Luke was probably right.

 “Remember who you’re talking to kid. You should’ve heard some of the choice words I’ve spat at Lorelai over the years about Christopher. I’ve said things to her that I couldn’t easily live with, lots of times. I understand what you’re going through –I’ve been right where you are. Lorelai and I got through it. She married me, for Christ’s sake. There’s one key difference between my experience and yours –I still have to deal with Christopher, whether I like it or not, he’ll always be a part of Lorelai’s life; but Dean’s out of the picture, Jess. He won’t be back. That’s over. Rory chose you.”

After a long silence, Jess asked, “How is she, Luke?”

“How do you think she is, Jess?”

Jess let out a heavy sigh and dropped his head into his hand. “I gotta go. The guys are waiting for me.”

“Okay. Take it easy, Jess.”

“I will,”

“Okay, good. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Luke?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

Luke smiled. “I love you, kid.”

“Yeah, you too. Bye Luke.”

Jess threw his phone on the bed and shuffled into the bathroom. He looked haggard. He was pale, he had huge bags under his eyes and he felt like he had a piano strapped to his back. Being depressed meant that personal grooming went by the wayside –Jess’ hair was getting long, soon he’d have to buy elastics to keep it off his face. What started out as a five o’clock shadow had progressed to stubble and then scruff –his chin and cheeks were prickly to the touch. Jess was astounded that he had the wherewithal to shower regularly.

After washing his face, Jess grabbed his phone off the bed and went over to his leather armchair. He sat there for a long time, tossing his phone back and forth between his hands. Eventually, he slowly dialed Rory’s number. He could hear his own heartbeat in his ears as he listened to it ring; he was shaking like a leaf.

“He–hello ?” Rory said weakly.

Jess froze. He sighed heavily into the phone and sat in silence, listening to Rory’s halted breathing. When her breath hitched and she let out a tiny sob, Jess hung up.

He got up angrily and turned on his music. He was listening to Elliott Smith on a constant loop. Sounds of his current album of choice, _‘From A Basement On A Hill’_ filled his tiny apartment as he sent a text to all four of his friends downstairs: _Unless you guys need me, I’m gonna work from my apartment today._

Jess’ friends hung their heads as the melancholy and angry sounds of Elliott Smith floated down the stairs.


	22. Chapter 22

Rory missed the days when heartache could be cured with a tub of ice cream and some quality wallowing. But puppy love, this was not; this went way beyond the preschool logic of, _‘I said I love you! Now say it back!’_

Yes, it was about the fact that Rory slept with Dean and there were few people Jess hated more than Dean. Rory was an extremely logical young woman –she knew that she didn’t sleep with Dean to cheat on Jess. But she knew from the first time the Dean topic had almost come up since she and Jess got back together that if he ever found out, that’s exactly what it would feel like.

It had only been two years but in a lot of ways, it felt like a lifetime ago. Rory tried to block most of it out –it wasn’t her best year. It was better than dropping out of Yale and drifting apart from her mom, but not by much. She was so lost. She really did love Jess; even then, she belonged to the bad boy with the heart of gold. But he broke her heart –only to pick it up and run it over with his car on the way out of town, as soon as she’d almost put it back together. There were a lot of reasons why Rory was lost that year, but the biggest reason wore a leather jacket, a crooked smile and always had a book shoved in his back pocket.

Hindsight was a beautiful thing: Rory realized with painful clarity that even for all his warts, emotional shortcomings and misplaced rage, Jess was the only man that she ever felt like herself with. Dean wanted her to be contented with the life of a meek housewife who spent all day cooking pot roast and vacuuming –while that was fun for a day, she sang a halleluiah chorus when she went home that night and took off that stupid dress. And Logan –Logan used his intellect only when it suited him and wanted Rory to be the same way; when she dropped out of Yale, he probably thought he was finally having a ‘positive’ influence on her. Jess just let her be. When he realized he had some shit to work through, he took himself out of the equation. If it was possible to have your heart shattered repeatedly with the best of intentions, that’s what Jess did in the end. He left because he didn’t want to stand in her way or drag her down. Rory just wished he had talked to her.

Jess was right about something: on some level, Rory slept with Dean because Dean was there and Jess wasn’t. She knew Dean loved her, so she let herself feel loved, even if it was by her married, totally unavailable ex-boyfriend. Something else was sticking in Rory’s head too –as much as it stung to hear him say it, she couldn’t stop hearing, _‘Sad Rory, with more pliable legs; he had to get in there while he could right? You froze him out for what, two years? He recognized his only opportunity to see stars and he jumped right in. Wedding vows be damned.’_ Dean’s marriage imploded because Lindsay found the letter Rory had written him –when she asked him later if he would have broken it off anyway, he did an impressive job of saying the words without answering the question. Was it possible that Jess was right? Did Dean take advantage of her vulnerability to sleep with her? When his marriage actually broke up, Dean spent more time taking out his anger at the fallout on Rory than he did taking responsibility for his part in it. Their “relationship” after his marriage ended had a stunningly short shelf life before it fell apart –bachelors of Yale party aside.

These were the things that robbed Rory of sleep. When she wasn’t swallowing the bitter pill of how she slept with Dean partially because Jess broke her heart, she was facing the grim reality that Dean may very well have made her feel safe and loved just to get her into bed. Jess certainly knew how to hurt her, but he also didn’t mince words when it came to the truth.

Their fight was two weeks ago. When Jess called her and said nothing, she felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest; but at the same time, it was the most beautiful thirty seconds of torture she’d ever experienced. It gave her hope.

* * *

“Sweetie, you don’t have to stay at Lane’s again,” Lorelai said lovingly.

“Yes I do,” Rory replied flatly. “You and Luke just got married. You should be enjoying… things that newlyweds enjoy. You can’t have newly wedded bliss with me moping around.”

“Lane and Zach don’t mind?”

“No. Zach’s working a lot, so he gets home late. Brian isn’t around much either, so Lane and I have quality best-friend time. Or, as quality as it gets when I’m inconsolable. But I think she likes being my shoulder to lean on. She hasn’t gotten to do it much lately. Besides, no one is quite like my Lane,” Rory said with a tiny smile.

"Okay, if you’re sure. But let the record show, I am not kicking you out.”

“I’m sure, Mom.”

“What else is going on in that head of yours, my child?” Lorelai asked, turning off the TV.

Rory sat down on the couch with a sigh. “Just, some of the stuff Jess said,” she mumbled, staring at her hands, “it’s gotten me thinking.”

“Hun, he was thrown. Jess heard some seriously upsetting things –from the mouth of Emily Gilmore, no less. I do have a newfound and deep-rooted love for the boy with the crooked grin, but that mouth shoots fatal daggers when he’s angry. Whatever he said, you can’t let it get to you. He was just mad.”

“He still is,”

“You’re probably right. But he loves you Rory. All of that love has been brewing for years. It can’t be undone by the Dean thing alone.”

“Really? You do remember Jess and Dean, right Mom? The Death Star is more warm and cuddly than those two ever were.”

“Fair point. But no one’s in high school anymore, Rory. They’re not engaged in a high stakes duel for your affection.”

Rory sighed. “You do remember what I did, right?”

“I do,” Lorelai said slowly. “I walked in on it, pretty much. But you weren’t cheating on Jess with Dean, Rory. He wasn’t part of the equation.”

“He kinda was,”

“What do you mean?”

“I never got over him, Mom. Not that year, anyway. When he left, it really messed with me. I was in love with him, even back then –so hopelessly in love. But he was gone. And then when he showed up here and told me he loved me and left again? It crushed me. He asked me to run away with him, you know.”

“What?” Lorelai asked in surprise. “When?”

“End of freshman year,” Rory said. “He showed up at my dorm the night I finished my last exam and begged me to come to New York with him so that we could be together.”

“Oh, Rory,”

“I said no. I had to say no about four times. He just kept asking. I really wanted to go with him, Mom,” Rory’s chin started to quiver, “but I couldn’t. He was still so mixed up. I saw it. I didn’t want to go with him just to get my heart broken again. I couldn’t survive if he were to break my heart again. So I had to say no. But I really wanted to go with him Mom,” Rory sobbed. “I really wanted to be with him.”

“Rory,” Lorelai said, hugging her daughter tight, “you did the right thing.”

“Did I?” Rory asked desperately. “Think back, Mom. From the end of my year at Yale to when you walked in on me and Dean –how long between those two events?”

Lorelai leaned back to at look Rory as she thought about the time line. When she’d figured out the basic math, which pointed to a very small number of days, her eyes went wide.

“Jess said something to me at your wedding, when we were fighting. He basically said that Dean took advantage of me,”

Lorelai went pale. “Rory, did Dean… ?” she trailed off, afraid to finish the sentence.

“No,” Rory shook her head quickly and sniffled. “Nothing like that.”

“Oh God, Rory, don’t scare me like that!” Lorelai sighed heavily. “He would’ve been the deadest man in Deadonia.” She hugged Rory again.

“You watch too much _Buffy_ , Mom,” Rory said with a slight chuckle.

“You know as well as I that one can never watch too much _Buffy_ –Buffy Summers is way wise.” After a few beats of silence Lorelai asked gently, “What did Jess mean, Hun?”

Rory took a deep breath. “Well, his exact words were, _‘Sad Rory, with more pliable legs; he had to get in there while he could right? … He recognized his only opportunity to see stars and he jumped right in.’_ Mom, I think he might have been right. Think about what happened: Dean’s marriage ended because Lindsay found my letter. I asked him later if he had been telling me the truth about divorcing Lindsay even if she hadn’t found it. He said the right words and all, but he was squirrelly –he didn’t actually answer the question, really. And then after the marriage ended he was angry at how spectacularly everything had fallen apart; he yelled at me all the time about how much of a mess his life was. Grandma and Grandpa’s Yale party aside, our relationship was headed to splitsville, and fast. I think Jess was right –Dean may have taken advantage of my fragile mindset and inserted himself as a shoulder to cry on so that he could sleep with me.”

Lorelai stared at her daughter and remained silent for a few seconds. “I think,” she said slowly, “that Jess’ take on the situation may be more logical than you could ever let yourself believe on your own. As much as I know Dean loved you and as much as Jess is enraged because he hates Dean and Dean got there first, I think he might not be entirely wrong,” Lorelai said carefully. “Do you really think that’s what was going on, or are you just thinking that because Jess planted the seed, Rory?”

“That’s the thing, Mom. What Jess said was mean and hateful –when he said it I staggered back like he’d actually hit me- but part of the reason it hurts so much is because I think, to a certain extent, he’s right,” Rory said, wiping her tears. “Mom, what did I do? What did I _let_ Dean do? What was he just conveniently poised and ready to do? I thought I loved him at the time, but I was just trying to fool myself into believing that I hadn’t broken up a marriage for nothing.

“What if Jess and I can’t get through this? I know I didn’t do this _to him_ , but he’s right to be mad, to feel betrayed. What if he can’t forgive me? I can’t ask that of him; he needs to decide if he can ever look at me the same way again. I wouldn’t really blame him if he couldn’t. Mom, he’s the love of my life! What if I –what if I’ve lost him?” Rory sobbed, collapsing with her head in Lorelai’s lap.

Lorelai forced herself to remain calm and comforting, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Give him time,” she whispered. “He just needs time to process everything. He may be mature and grown up, but he’s still Jess –which means he becomes somewhat of a hermit when he has thinking to do, that’s nothing new. Sweetheart, look at me. He is still Jess, which means you are still the only woman in the world. You’re the love of his life too. Give him time. He’ll come back around; you guys will work through this. Metal can’t stay away from a magnet Rory; eventually they’re drawn back together, where they belong.”

 “But Mom –”

“Listen to me, Rory. There’s no way to know what Dean’s motives were. It’s too late to worry about that now. It happened –it’s over. I think, in his own way, Dean always loved you. But he wasn’t the guy for you, Rory. Jess is.

“Jess may be angry now, but he knows you didn’t do this _to him_ ; this is a bitter pill for him to swallow, but it doesn’t mean he’s stopped loving you –I don’t think he ever could. You just said it yourself –he’s the love of your life. Somehow, it will work out.”

“How can you be so sure?” Rory implored.

“Because I know a thing or two about men in the Danes’ clan –whether they carry the name or not. When big things happen and major shit hits the fan, they fold inwards. Luke has his Dark Days and Jess disappears into the rabbit hole. But eventually, they come around. Jess feels mad and betrayed right now; to a certain extent, I don’t think either of us can hold that against him. But you two have the kind of love that they make movies and write books and songs about, Rory. Trust me, he will come around. Luke did –if anyone said to me three years ago that we’d be married by now I would have told them they were delusional and should seek professional help. And yet here I am, wearing a wedding ring and calling him my husband. Jess is mini-Luke and you are mini-me, right down to the impassioned fights and only feeling like there’s air in the room if the person you love is in the room with you. Jess _will_ come around, I promise. Trust me, I’m wise!” Lorelai said with a playful smirk.

“It’s true Mom,”

“What is?”

“I feel like I can’t breathe,” Rory said weakly, fighting back tears.

“I know –believe me, I know. Oh kid, I really hope it gets better soon,” Lorelai whispered into Rory’s hair. “Jess really does love you more than anyone else in the world.”

Rory’s breath hitched, “I know, that’s why I can’t stand that I’ve hurt him so badly. The Dean thing is just a springboard for so many other calamities –I just want to tell him it doesn’t matter what happened then. I’ll never love anyone else. My heart is his, it always has been. I need him to know that.”

“I promise babe, you’ll get that chance to make sure he knows,” Lorelai sighed and kissed Rory’s forehead. “You should finish getting your stuff. I bet Lane’s waiting.”

“Right… right. She probably is. Thanks Mom,”

“Anytime, kid,” Lorelai said, pecking Rory’s cheek before she got up to gather her things and go to Lane’s.

* * *

 A week later, Lorelai and Luke were due to leave on their honeymoon, but both were reluctant to go. Rory and Jess still hadn’t spoken. Rory never told either of them about Jess’ silent phone call and while she hoped he would do it again, he hadn’t. She wished she could find the strength to call him and pour her heart out, but she wasn’t sure what she could say to undo the hurt she caused him. Every time she tried to figure out what to say, she just kept looping back to meaningless apologies. Jess needed to decide for himself if he could forgive her, even though this was nothing she did directly to him. Rory couldn’t decide for Jess if he’d ever be able to look at her the same way again, without seeing her with Dean.

Rory was not naïve; she knew the reasons Jess wasn't speaking to her yet were split down the middle between the poor choice she'd made to sleep with Dean and how he was partially responsible for driving her to that choice. He was punishing himself just as much –or maybe even more- than he was punishing her. Rory knew nothing she could ever think to say would make that better. He needed to let himself off the hook before he decided if he could still be with her. If he couldn’t, as their strained silence entered its third week Rory slowly started resigning herself to the possibility that her only true love was slipping through her fingers like sand; sure, she’d move on eventually, but she’d never love anyone the way she loved Jess –he was her ‘once in a lifetime’. Even if they could dig their way out of this mess, would it ever be like it was? Or was the past doomed to cast a shadow over them forever?  

After many loving protestations, Rory kicked Luke and Lorelai out the door. Truthfully, as hard as being totally alone would be, she was glad for it. She’d been spending a lot of time with Lane in an effort not to cast gloom on the newlywed bliss; as much as she loved Lane and Zach, they needed a break from her sadness too. Rory was thankful to be able to spend quality days and nights crying and sleeping in her own bed. When she shut the door behind Lorelai and Luke, she instantly felt like there was a giant, heavy boulder strapped to her shoulders. The silence –her sadness- was all-consuming, it choked her.

Paris offered to let Rory stay with her and Doyle in New Haven, but she declined. She’d had enough of people trying to make it better. She wanted to be alone with her despair. Rory was aware that if things were as they should be, she’d be packing her things to spend a month in Philadelphia with Jess. She wanted to grieve that, without judgment. This pain she needed to feel, free of people trying to make it better.

Rory sat in her room, staring at her phone for nearly half an hour. After making a list of pros and cons in her head, she decided there was no way it could make things any worse. She dialed Jess’ number fast, before she lost her nerve. He picked up after three rings, but said nothing. They sat for several seconds, just breathing together. When she heard him get restless, Rory spoke up. “Jess, wait,” she said into the silence. The shuffling stopped; Rory took a deep breath and continued. “You don’t have to say anything, but I need to say something. You were right –about Dean, I think you were right. I think, may-maybe he knew he made a mistake getting married and he saw me there, going through…. what I was going through and h-h-he took advantage of it. He was unhappy and I needed to feel l-loved, so I made a really, _really_ bad choice. I’m not making excuses for the choice that I made. I know you know that I didn’t do this _to you_ Jess, but that doesn’t mean I’m not sorry. God I’m so sorry for the pain this is causing you. You have no idea how much I wish I could take it all back,” Rory sobbed. She heard Jess let out a shaky breath –he might have even let out a small cry before the line went dead.

In Philadelphia, Jess was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling. After disconnecting the call with Rory, he rolled onto him stomach, buried his face in his pillow and screamed. By the time his voice cracked, tears were streaming down his face. It was one thing to hurl disgusting words at her out of anger, but it was quite another to have Rory tell him that the worst thing he said to her was right. He really didn’t want to be right.  For the first time, Jess found himself wishing that Dean were still in Stars Hollow, so that he could go there and bash the Bag Boy’s pretty little head in for taking advantage of Rory’s pain like that –pain which Jess was largely responsible for.


	23. Chapter 23

After Rory’s phone call, Jess’ depression peaked and he folded inward even more. He’d spent the week since flip-flopping between blind rages and crushing sadness. Every day he thought to himself, _‘Today’s the day I call her –today’s the day I stop torturing her, and myself. Today’s the day I fix this.’_ But it had been seven days and every time he tried to call, all the air escaped his lungs. Sometimes, it took him upwards of fifteen minutes to catch his breath.

Jess situated a chair under his window so that he could sit and smoke continuously with his laptop perched on his knees, typing away. All sorts of ideas were swirling in his brain and finally when he couldn’t take it anymore, he started writing. He didn’t know what it was yet, but it was definitely something. On the surface, the words on the page had nothing to do with the predicament he found himself in –but with just beneath was a carefully calculated microcosm which mirrored his turmoil in all aspects but one: his characters weren’t afraid to stare into an abyss, they fought the abyss until it stopped staring back.  

The rum and cokes weren’t helping anymore –he hardly slept at all. He still gave his friends no reason to complain –he worked on Truncheon business by day while pouring what was left of his shriveled heart into his story by night, only to fall into a restless sleep for a few hours before dawn. At first, he thought the guys were weird for stocking his fridge –no one had died, after all- but now, he was glad for it. Without his friends’ generosity he would starve.

Luke’s calls had become sparse since he and Lorelai left on their honeymoon. As much as the incessant check-ins drove him up the wall, he’d started to miss them. Without Luke to ground him in Rory’s absence, Jess felt like he was spinning out of control, faster than he had the power to stop –soon he was going to crash.

Despite his downswing, a frame sat tucked away in a dark corner behind Jess’ nightstand, showcasing his GED. Somehow he’d managed to keep his monumental personal struggles at bay sufficiently to pass the final two exams. The diploma came in the mail a few days after Rory’s call; the only thing he’d dragged himself out to do was make the highest quality copy of the original that money could buy and have it framed, just like Rory said she wanted. Jess shoved the envelope containing the original into his desk drawer as soon as he got back to the brownstone; he was simultaneously disappointed and unsurprised that the actual physical diploma was meaningless to him. His eyes wandered to the corner where it sat at least once an hour, a lump rising in his throat as it silently taunted him. Even still, he never moved it somewhere out of sight. Jess figured that eventually he would look at it and finally find the strength and courage to fight for what he loved.

Jess never once worried that it was too late –if there was one thing he understood when it came to Rory, it was that their love remained beyond all logic and reason, even when they were hurting each other; their love never diminished. He also knew that the stalemate they were in had to end soon and it was up to Jess to do the heavy lifting –Rory was drowning and she couldn’t stop herself from sinking, he had to pull her out. He wasn’t wavering in what he had to do –he didn’t _want_ to leave her stranded. Jess hadn’t spent the last month falling out of love, but rather he was consumed with having to reconcile his unparalleled love for Rory with his rage over the choice she’d made, which was so contrary to everything he loved about her.

He could barely look at himself in the mirror for the shame he felt over how his own actions had pushed her over the edge. Jess couldn’t bring himself to fight for Rory and save her until he believed he was worthy of fighting for her. He felt like he was eighteen again –the punk kid who never deserved her, pushed her too far and then disappeared because he was too ashamed of himself to face her. In the back of his mind, Jess knew that his window of opportunity was closing; if he didn’t do something soon, it _would_ be too late.

One day, his thoughts were interrupted by a faint knock on his apartment door. “Fuck off guys! I told you, I’ll have the final markups to you by five!” he barked.

The knock sounded again, louder. “Jess, it’s Lorelai,” came her muffled voice.

Jess instantly felt the blood drain from his face. He threw his cigarette out the window and set his laptop down. He stood up unsteadily and turned off his music before opening his door with a trembling hand.

Lorelai looked him up and down. “Wow,” she said, taking in his disheveled appearance, eyeing his scruffy beard and the tiny, messy man bun keeping his hair out of his face. “You really do look like shit. Seriously, if death warmed over had a face, it’d be yours. You haven’t painted a face on a volleyball and started calling it ‘Wilson’, have you?”

Jess smirked and shook his head slightly. “Lorelai, what are you doing here?” he asked softly, his voice cracking. Suddenly his eyes went wide, “Rory, is she –?”

“Jess,” Lorelai said soothingly.

“Did something happen?” he pressed, panicked. “Is she okay?”

“Nothing happened Jess. She’s fine –or about as fine as you are, all things considered.”

“Good,” Jess sighed.

Lorelai stared expectantly.

“Sorry, sorry,” he stammered, opening the door fully, “do you want to come in?”

“Yeah, please. Sorry, I didn’t mean to catch you off-guard,” she said as she stepped inside. “Your friends told me you were up here.”

“Lorelai, you’re supposed to be on your honeymoon. What are you doing here?”

“Luke is happy as a pig in mud exploring Cooperstown. His obsession with baseball might rival his love of fishing. He’s spending the day at the Baseball Hall of Fame –which he knows is _so_ not my thing, no matter how much I love him. He thinks I went to Manhattan for a shopping fix.”

“But you’re not. You came here,” Jess said slowly. “How did you know where ‘here’ was?”

“Well, I figured there couldn’t be more than one Truncheon Books in Philadelphia. I remember Rory showing me the postcard you sent. I looked it up.”

“Why?”

“I thought I’d check on you, confirm my suspicions.”

“Suspicions?”

“That you’re dangerously close to sticking your head in an oven or piling your pockets with rocks and walking into water. Or, wait. Hemingway’s your guy, right? How’d he off himself?”

“With a shotgun,”

“Right. Well, then I came here to make sure you are in no way armed,” Lorelai said gently.

“I’m not armed, Lorelai,” Jess said with a sigh.

“Good. That’s good.”

“Okay, glad we made the all-important distinction between being depressed and being suicidal. Anything else?” Jess asked with a tiny edge to his tone.

“Yes, actually. I wanted to give you something,” Lorelai said, fishing around in her purse. She pulled out a key and held it out to him. “Here,”

“What’s that?”

“A key,”

“Why?”

“Why is it a key? I didn’t come here expecting to have a heavy existentialist discussion, but okay. A ‘key’ is a physical object that –”

“No,” Jess sighed. “Why are you giving it to me? What’s it for?”

“It’s a key to the house,” Lorelai said, waving it around, enticing him to take it.

“The house?” Jess asked.

“My house. Luke’s house,” Lorelai paused. “Rory’s house. Our house. It’s all one in the same.”

“You lost me,”

“Well, I married Luke a month ago, remember? You were there.”

“Yes, I was. I remember. What does this have to do with the key?”

“Luke’s your uncle,”

“Yes,” Jess said slowly.

“Luke’s your family, and I married him. My home is Luke’s home. You’re family now, which means it’s your home too. Everyone should have a key to their home. How else is it supposed to be the one place that has to take you in if you can’t actually get inside?”

Jess stared at Lorelai in bewilderment. He had no words. Countless emotions hit him like a ton of bricks. Not three years ago, Lorelai barely trusted him to be alone in a room with her daughter; less than six months ago, she questioned his motives for being in Rory’s life again and could barely seem to stand his presence in her house. Now, she was standing before him and presenting him with a key, telling him that for the first time in his life, there was a place he could call home. Jess’ eyes got misty and he swallowed hard, before any tears fell. He struggled to breathe over the lump in his throat. “Lorelai,” he chocked out.

Lorelai was moved to see how genuinely overcome he was. She’d considered several possible reactions, but speechless and holding back tears was not one of them. “Okay,” she said softly, “I’m just gonna leave this on your bedside table for you, alright?”

Jess nodded mechanically and watched as she walked over to his bedside, setting the key down on the table next to his pillow. Lorelai noticed the frame tucked in the corner. “Hey, what’s this?” She asked, sliding it out slightly to get a good look.

“Oh,” Jess said, blinking hard. “It’s my GED. I took the last two exams right after your wedding. That came in the mail… ab-about a week ago,” he stammered.

“It came in a frame like that?”

“No, that’s a copy. The original is in an envelope in my desk.”

“I don’t get it. Why would you go to the trouble of making a high quality copy and framing that instead of the orig-”

Jess stared at Lorelai and wordlessly pleaded with her not to finish her question.

“Ah,” Lorelai said quietly, walking back over to him. “That’s quite the accomplishment, kid. Good for you. I’m proud of you,” she said honestly, pulling him into a hug.

“Yeah, thanks,” Jess muttered, wrapping his arms around Lorelai –lifelessly at first, but as she continued to hug him, his grip became firmer.

As Lorelai felt Jess hug her tighter, she took a deep breath. “She can’t breathe either, Jess,” she whispered.

“Lorelai,” he said thickly.

Lorelai leaned back and took a hold of Jess’ shoulders. “You should show her your diploma, Jess. No one will be happier for you than Rory,”

“I know,” Jess said painfully.

“Okay. Well, I’m going to go now. I have to go shopping and arrive back in Cooperstown with bags of swag to cover my tracks. Luke and I won’t be back in Stars Hollow until the fifteenth of July.”

“I remember,”

“Hey, isn’t it your birthday soon? It’s before Luke and I are back, right?”

“Yeah. It’s July eighth.”

“Well, happy birthday Jess,” Lorelai said warmly, kissing his head before turning to leave. “I’ll show myself out.”

“Lorelai?” Jess called, slightly louder and more panicked than he intended.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you,” he whispered, his eyes glazing over again.

Lorelai smiled. “Take care, Jess.”

That night, Jess actually felt tired and crawled into bed around one in the morning rather than waiting for dawn to force him to try and get some sleep. He laid on his side and stared at the key, eventually reaching out and groping for it in the dark. When his fingers found it, he clutched it tightly, as though it were imbued with the power to give him the strength he seemed to lack.  He drifted off into a slumber that could almost be called peaceful –though he was still restless; it was the first one since the wedding that hadn’t been tormented by nightmares of Dean, or his own hateful words.


	24. Chapter 24

_‘Rory, wait! Stop!’_  
             
_‘No, you don't get to walk away!’_  
  
 _‘Hold on!’_  
  
 _‘My town! I leave!’_  
  
 _‘I just wanna –where are you going?’_  
  
 _‘None of your business!’_  
  
 _‘We look like idiots.’_  
  
_‘I don't care!’_  
  
 _‘Stop running!’_  
  
 _‘Stop following!’_  
  
 _‘Oh, come on!’_  
  
 _‘Go away, I'm leaving!’_  
  
 _‘Rory, stop!’_  
  
 _‘Why?’_  
  
 _‘Because I wanna talk to you.’_  
  
 _‘About what? What do you want to talk to me about?’_  
  
 _‘When did you learn to run like that?’_  
  
 _‘You know, I have actually thought about this moment. A lot. What would Jess say to me if I ever saw him again? I mean, he just took off, no note, no call, nothing, how could he explain that? And then a year goes by. No word, nothing. He couldn't possibly have a good excuse for that, right? I have imagined hundreds of different scenarios with a hundred different great last parting lines, and I have to tell you that I am actually very curious to see which way this is going to go.’_  
  
_‘Could we sit down?’_  
  
 _‘No. You wanted to talk, so talk. What do you have to say to me?’_  
  
 _‘I love you.’_

Jess woke with a start; never in his life had he had a dream that recalled the past word for word. He woke so suddenly that he sat right up; looking down, he saw his right hand was curled into a tight ball. As he released his fingers he saw that he was still clutching the key Lorelai had given him that afternoon. Jess was holding it so tightly it left deep indentations in the skin of his palm.

As the haze of sleep wore off, he suddenly had difficulty breathing. “You told her to stop running,” Jess muttered to himself through clenched teeth, “and you’re the one who fucking ran.”

Looking at the clock, Jess saw that it was after three. He didn’t care. He threw the covers back and stood up quickly. It was as if he hadn’t been asleep at all. He rummaged for clothes in the dark and threw himself together in a hurry, dashing into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He tried to run a brush through his unruly hair, but ended up throwing it down with such force that it broke. He tied his hair in a quick knot and dashed back into his bedroom to get his cell phone and put the house key on his key ring. The last thing he grabbed before running out of his apartment was the frame holding his GED.

Racing downstairs, Jess turned on the light over Chris’ desk and scribbled a quick note before running out the door: _Gone to Connecticut. Sorry to leave you in the lurch, but don’t wait up. Thanks for the food.  
_

* * *

Rory had not been having a good night. When she went into her room to try and get some sleep around midnight, she bumped into her bookcase, sending _Howl_ to the ground with a soft thud right at her feet. She picked it up and immediately started crying.

It had been too long –now, with each passing day, her hope of ever seeing Jess again diminished as daylight faded into darkness. The pain she felt at the prospect of having to live the rest of her life with a gaping hole inside of her was indescribable. And yet, that’s exactly what it came down to: without Jess, Rory didn’t feel whole.

Curling up on her bed, Rory flipped through _Howl_ carefully, as though the pages were made of glass. She traced her fingers over Jess’ messy but meticulous margin notes, crying her heart out all the while. A few tears fell on various pages, weakening the paper and blurring the ink of his words. Eventually Rory closed the book and clutched it to her chest, lest she damage it beyond repair; crying on these pages felt like tearing up a rare, long lost manuscript. When her tears finally stopped flowing, she was so exhausted she couldn’t move.

She fell asleep with _Howl_ against her heart, surrounded by crumpled tissues. Rory was too spent to even dream, but so fragile was her rest that the slightest shift in the breeze outside her window jolted her awake. Each time her eyes opened, she was filled with hope for a split second that maybe she heard a car pull up –was that the porch she heard creaking? But her hope drained as quickly as it sprung up –reality sank back in and she willed herself back to sleep. The last time she looked at the clock, it was after three.

* * *

As Jess drove, he was frantic as the full weight and length of their separation settled on him. He forced himself to think hard about what the date was. The clock on the dash told him it was almost five in the morning on July first. Twenty-eight days. “Fuck!” he screamed, white-knuckling the steering wheel. What if he was too late? 

As confident as he was in the love that existed between him and Rory, Jess knew that even love had its limits. Eventually, people stopped waiting. Did Jess think that Rory had moved on or gotten over the sadness of the ordeal? Absolutely not –but as he drove north on the I-95, he knew there was a good chance that he might get to Rory's house to find that she'd stopped waiting for him. Maybe this was her last straw; maybe she figured that she'd lost him considering how long it had been –maybe she'd already resigned herself to the reality that all that was left of their beautiful, tortured love story was a fading smoke signal.  
             
Learning to live with all the ways he hurt Rory in their past was one thing. Learning how to live with the cruel things he said to her when they fought that night was one thing. But now that they'd loved each other truthfully and wholly for the first time in their lives, losing her now would not be like any other time he lost her in the past. If he lost her now, Jess would not be able to put all the pieces of himself back together. If he lost Rory now –like this- Jess would never be whole again.  
             
In the middle of his internal panic, a certain Elliott Smith song began to play which knocked the wind out of Jess' lungs. Amid countless songs with references to drugs, alcohol, exile, insomnia and suicide, this soft melancholy tune spoke of love and hope rather than despair:  _I'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl/Who's still around the morning after/We broke up a month ago and I grew up I didn't know/I'd be around the morning after/It's always been wait and see/A happy day and then you pay/And feel like shit the morning after/But now I feel changed around and instead falling down/I'm standing up the morning after/Situations get fucked up and turned around sooner or later/And I could be another fool or an exception to the rule/You tell me the morning after/Crooked spin can't come to rest/I'm damaged bad at best/She'll decide what she wants/I'll probably be the last to know/No one says until it shows and you see how it is/They want you or they don't/Say yes._  
             
Jess realized that this beautiful, sad, hopeful little song summed up his love for Rory to a tee. In just over two minutes, it said everything about his love for her and what she meant to him. He was stunned that in all the countless times he’d heard the song before –let alone over the past twenty-eight days, when Elliott Smith was all he listened to- it had never occurred to him how  _Say Yes_ was a perfect description of his love for Rory. It literally could have been written specifically for them; it was  _their_ song. Jess decided that this particular song coming on at this particular moment was a good omen as he reached Stars Hollow just in time to see the town emerge from darkness to greet a new day as the sky started to lighten.  
             
As he drove the quiet little streets, he was thankful it was nearly six in the morning –no one was awake yet to see his car and start the gossip mill buzzing. Even though he'd made a three-hour drive on no sleep, Jess had too much adrenaline coursing through his veins to be tired. He was a man on a mission.  
             
But as he turned into the Gilmore's driveway –since he had a key now, did that make it his driveway too?- he started to tremble. As was the norm these days, Jess felt like he couldn't breathe. He could barely get his keys out of the ignition he was shaking so badly. Dizziness overtook him as he stood up and made his way around to the backseat. Closing his eyes and forcing himself to take deep breaths, Jess made sure his hands were steady before picking up his diploma. Carefully tucking the frame under his arm, he locked his car and started walking slowly up to the front door.  
             
“If you're too late, you have no one to blame but yourself, Mariano,” he whispered to himself.  
             
The house was totally dark; not even a porch light on. This was unsurprising, since Rory was there by herself. Jess set his diploma down at his feet to steady his wrist as he slipped the key into the lock and turned it gently. Tucking the frame under his arm once again, Jess opened the door slowly and stepped inside, pulling out his key and closing it behind him without a sound.  
             
Standing in the entryway, he slipped his shoes off and looked around. If anyone had told him, even at this time last year, that he would be standing in the Gilmore house actually  _feeling_  like he'd come home, Jess would have told them they were out of their fucking minds. Yet, as he stood in the dark and his eyes slowly adjusted, his breathing did get a little easier.  
             
He started to tremble once more as he looked towards the kitchen; he willed his feet to move. Jess' breathing was so shallow as he walked those few feet that his chest barely moved. Rory's door was wide open and as soon as he crossed the threshold of the kitchen, his eyes were immediately drawn to the soft cascades of dim light streaming through her bedroom window, casting a glow on the entire kitchen.  
             
What Jess saw when he reached Rory's bedroom door was the most heartbreakingly beautiful sight he’d ever laid his eyes on. His breath hitched and he swallowed hard –tears falling silently regardless. He had to use his free hand to grip the doorframe, lest his emotion knock him clean off his feet. Rory was asleep in a position that seemed to indicate that she had literally cried herself to sleep. Her body was curled into a tight ball and she was lying on her side facing her desk. Though the room was still shrouded in semi-darkness, Jess could see at least two-dozen damp tissues surrounding Rory’s tiny, shrunken and sleeping form. He couldn't see her features, but he could tell her face was swollen from tears. Just like the night she'd shown up in Philadelphia after Logan’s accident, her arms were wrapped tightly around herself, as though she were trying –and failing- to shield herself from harm. Visible tremors shook through her even as she slept.  
             
Jess screwed his eyes shut tightly until moisture stopped flowing from them. He took a few ragged and laboured breaths before releasing his grip on the doorframe, retreating his hand slowly, in case he wasn't as steady as he thought. He tiptoed into her bedroom as though he were treading on hallowed ground and as he rounded the foot of her bed, the full gravity of the moment twisted at his heart mercilessly. Rory wasn't clutching at herself –beneath her locked arms,  _Howl_ laid against her heart as though it were a life force, the only thing allowing her to keep breathing.  
             
“Oh, my Rory,” Jess whispered painfully over the lump in his throat.  
             
Jess wanted to wake her more than anything, but he thought better of it. If his own battles with sleep over the last twenty-eight days were any indication, waking Rory now might be considered cruel. When his vision was clear once again, he set his diploma aside and carefully gathered the crumpled tissues surrounding her and threw them all in the garbage. Spotting a throw blanket on the bench at the end of her bed, Jess grabbed it and covered her delicately, careful not to touch her.  
             
He stepped back lightly and stood there for at least five minutes, simply watching her sleep. As he slowed his breaths to match the rhythmic rising and falling of her chest, Jess remembered what it felt like to breathe. Standing there in the dark, Jess remembered what it was like to have air cycle through his lungs –he never realized how much he  _couldn’t_  breathe while they were apart until suddenly, he could once more.  
             
Satisfied with his small effort to make Rory more comfortable, Jess took the frame holding his GED and set it on the floor, leaning it securely against the leg of her desk so that it would be the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes. He knew he shouldn't stand there until she woke up, but it was hard for him to tear himself away. He flashed back to Rory's words the morning before the wedding,  _‘Didn't anyone ever tell you that it's creepy to stare at women while they sleep?’_  
             
Just as he started shifting his weight to step back, Jess saw  _The Fountainhead_  on Rory's desk. His lips curled into a tiny grin as he picked it up. "Sleep Rory," he whispered, “I'll be here when you wake up. I promise.”  
             
With that, Jess tore himself away from Rory's side and made his way to the living room, turning on lamp over the couch before sinking into the soft cushions and opening the book. “Okay, Rand. You and me, you nut. Let’s go. You've got a few hours before she wakes up to sway me, at the absolute max. If you don't win me over, you’re kindling,” he muttered as he started to read.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to say, you guys are super lucky if you like this and there's minimal waiting involved. I've been posting it on another site as I write and this particular portion of the story was driving people bonkers to have to wait for. Hope you're enjoying!
> 
> Also, I was emotionally spent after writing this chapter.

When Rory woke up, it was almost nine; she was amazed that she’d managed to sleep for almost six hours. Immediately though, she knew something was different –she was warm, comfortable. As she opened her eyes, she saw a blanket had been carefully draped over her and that her bed was no longer lost in a sea of damp, used tissues. Rory’s mind worked fast –it couldn’t be. But within seconds of waking up and realizing that someone had snuck in –someone who cared enough to gather crumpled facial tissues and cover her with a blanket to make sure she was warm and comfortable- her eyes zeroed in on the sizable frame propped up on the floor against her desk inscribed with the name of none other than Jess Mariano, signifying that he had –with heartfelt congratulations from the state of Pennsylvania- procured his GED, with Highest Honours.

Rory sat up and stared, unsure if she was in fact even breathing. Her hand flew to her mouth to stifle a sob. From the living room, Jess heard Rory’s tiny cry and instantly felt his pulse pick up. He’d been reading for hours, almost oblivious to the passing time, but hearing Rory’s subtle burst of emotion snapped him back in a jolt. His hands were shaking again and when he stood up, his knees buckled slightly. His breathing was ragged and shallow and he felt the warm sting of tears return to his eyes. Standing firmly rooted on the spot facing the kitchen doorway, Jess was terrified to move.

Rory slowly and mechanically walked out of her bedroom and caught sight of Jess standing unsteadily by the couch. Even from several feet away, Rory noticed he was shaking. She stopped in the doorway to the living room, she and Jess separated by only two or three feet. Her chin started to quiver and she wrapped her arms around herself. With Jess in her sights for the first time in nearly a month, Rory was able to take a deep breath and keep breathing with startling ease. “Y-y-you’re…. you’re here,” Rory stammered quietly.

“Yeah, I am,” Jess said slowly and carefully, his voice cracking.

“You came here,” Rory whispered again, in disbelief. “You came here, you brought me your GED, you cleaned the gross tissues off my bed and you covered me over with a blanket.”

“Yeah, I did do all of those things,” he said, still unmoving.

A few tears escaped Rory’s eyes and she inhaled sharply, forcing herself to remain coherent. “I -we –I haven’t seen you in a month –”

“Twenty-eight days.”

“Twenty-eight days. We haven’t seen each other in twenty-eight days. I’ve cried myself to sleep every night since –I didn’t think I was ever going to see you again Jess! After what I did, I was sure you’d never be able to look at me again the way you’re… the way you’re looking at me now.”

“Rory, I –”  
             
“Twenty-eight days, Jess!” Rory screamed, crying freely now. “You come here after twenty-eight days and you clean up my used tissues, you cover me over with a blanket and you –” she faltered, her voice getting smaller as she recounted every small gesture of love she’d just woken up to. “I find your GED sitting in a beautiful frame on my floor, strategically placed where it will be the first thing I see and you –” her eyes fell to the book he was holding. “And you’re reading _The_ Goddamn _Fountainhead_ ,” she said with biting sarcasm and a bitter laugh. “Why the fuck didn’t you wake me up, Jess?”

“I-I…”

“If you tell me I looked peaceful, I might kill you. The last thing I’ve been for the last _twenty-eight days_ is peaceful, Jess,” Rory said sharply.

“Rory, that’s not what I was gonna –that’s not why I didn’t wake you,” Jess said, his voice trembling. “I have hardly slept at all since… I’ve hardly slept at all, Rory. I couldn’t bring myself to wake you and disturb the precious rest you were getting. I wasn’t going to –I didn’t leave Rory. I was planning to stay until you woke up and…” Jess trailed off.

“Until I what?” Rory asked, wiping her tears and softening the way she looked at him.

Jess sighed. “I never had any intention of leaving here until you kicked me out.”

“When _did_ you get here?”

“A few hours ago, around six.”

“You drove here in the middle of the night?”

“Yup. I did. You did it for me once. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what time it is. When you have to get to someone, you do what it takes to get to them. And all you can do is hope that you’re not too late,” Jess said, his voice breaking with emotion.

Rory bit her lower lip and shifted her weight back and forth restlessly. Nodding to _The Fountainhead_ she said, “So, what do you think?”

“Yeah,” he said with a tiny chuckle, “she’s still fucking nuts.”

“Well, I still find Hemingway about as exciting as watching paint dry,” Rory offered. “Sorry,”

“All’s fair in love and literature,” Jess said simply. He was still weary of being hopeful. After a few beats of awkward silence –Rory fiddling with her hands and Jess staring at his feet, he let out a pained sigh. “So. Um, I guess I’ll get going then, I mean if you –”

“Go?” Rory said frantically, “why?” Neither of them had moved yet to close the distance between them. “Just because you can’t get behind _The Fountainhead_?”

Jess looked at Rory and was overcome with sadness and shame. “I’m so, _so_ sorry Rory,” he said, letting himself truly break down in front of her for the first time as tears spilled down his cheeks. “You have no idea how sorry I am,” he whispered, still unable to move.

Seeing Jess get emotional as he tried desperately to apologize for things he believed were unforgivable struck a deep chord inside Rory. A chord that she thought had all but died during their time apart. She chewed her bottom lip as the emotional thickness between them continued to grow and intensify. “You’re sorry you think Ayn Rand is fucking nuts?” she asked quietly, trying to keep her tone light.

“I’m sorry for all of it Rory,” Jess chocked out amid his tears. “I’m so sorry for all of it –everything I said to you, no one deserves have the person they love speak to them so cruelly. I was cruel to you, Ror. I’m so ashamed and I’m so sorry!” Jess sobbed.

Rory had never seen Jess get so emotional. It stunned her for the briefest of moments. 

Jess took Rory’s stunned silence as the answer he never wanted to hear but was partly expecting. He slowly shifted his weight to leave. He looked up at her, his beautiful brown eyes full of painful tears that just kept flowing. “I’m sorry it took me too long to fight for you, Rory. But please believe me when I tell you, my heart belongs to you. It’s never really belonged to anyone else. It’ll only ever be yours.”

“Jess no!” Rory sobbed quickly, before he even had a chance to move. “Please don’t go,” she cried quietly. “I…I don’t want you to go. Pl-pl-please Jess, don’t go. I can’t –I can’t breathe- I can’t breathe without you. I need you. I-I-I was so sc-scared that after you found out about –that you’d never be able to look at me again. I thought I lost you. If you want to go, then please go. But if you’re going to leave because you think I want you gone –I can’t _breathe_ Jess. Please don’t go,” she begged tearfully.

“What?” Jess whispered, unwilling to trust his hopeful ear.

“Please don’t –I don’t want you to leave.”

“Oh Rory,”

“Jess, if you’re gonna go, then go. Because I can’t handle the way you’re looking at me right now. Please.”

Jess cocked his head slightly and sucked in a sharp breath. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was literally aching to move, but his feet remained firmly rooted in place. “You don’t want me to leave?” he asked quietly.

“No,” Rory whispered.

“You want me to stay?”

“Yes. You came here and y-you, you covered me up and let me sleep. You cleaned up my bed. You got your GED and you… Jess,” Rory could barely breathe through her sobs. “I’m so sorry. I can’t… I’m so…” As violent waves of emotion continued to swell through her without letting up, Rory’s legs started to shake and her knees buckled.

The second Rory’s legs gave out, Jess snapped out of his haze. He dropped _The Fountainhead_ on the floor and closed the distance between them in a single stride. Jess managed to wrap his arms around Rory in the midst of her fall. The instant they touched –the second they were finally in each other’s arms again- Jess felt that all was right in his world. How he’d managed to survive for so long without this –without her- was beyond him. Somewhere in the recesses of his mind, he cursed himself for not stepping up and coming to his senses a lot sooner.

Rory’s muddled brain couldn’t quite register why she hadn’t hit the floor. After about five seconds, she felt his strong arms encircling her and holding her tightly; she could feel his palm against her scalp pressing her face against his chest; she felt him perch his chin on her head and she felt droplets of tears soaking into her hair as they tumbled off of Jess’ cheeks. Rory’s hands shook like leaves; she didn’t even possess the strength to wrap her arms around him so instead she gripped his shirt and balled it in both of her fists, straining the fabric as she pulled at it with every heaving breath.

Jess stumbled back –still holding Rory pinned against him- until he felt his legs hit the arm of the couch. He too was trembling and very unsteady on his feet, and he needed to anchor them both.  

“Shh, Rory,” Jess whispered through his tears. “Please,”

“I’m so sorry,” Rory sobbed. “I didn’t think –I thought I lost you, Jess.”

Jess closed his eyes at her words and sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. “I know. I’m so sorry, Ror. I wanted to –I wasn’t trying to torture you. You have no idea how much I wanted to just –” he let out a shaky breath, “I’m _so sorry_ Rory.”

Rory pressed her forehead into Jess’ chest and continued to sob. Jess’ grip on her never loosened and the longer he held her, the more she felt her equilibrium return.

“Rory,” Jess chocked out quietly, “I never stopped loving you, baby. I never stopped loving you. I know it took me a month but I never –never, I never stopped.”

Rory cried harder at hearing his words, so forcefully that she almost started to heave.

Feeling her continue to tremble, Jess tightened his arms around her. “You’ve apologized enough, Ror. You can stop now. You can stop. Do you hear me? I’m the one who –”

“Jess,”

“No Rory,” he insisted gently. “I was cruel. I was cruel when we fought at the wedding and I was cruel two years ago. I never should have bolted like that. If I hadn’t, then maybe you wouldn’t have been so hurt and so vulnerable, maybe it wouldn’t have gone the way it –I just, I shouldn’t have left like that.” Jess clenched his jaw. “I should not have left like that. I’m not saying it would have stopped everything from –but I was wrong Rory. I was a coward. I was scared –I was scared of what I felt and I was scared of what you would say, so I left. I shouldn’t have.”

“That doesn’t matter anymore, Jess. Does it?” Rory asked quietly.

Jess sighed. For the first time since they both started crumbling to pieces, he moved his hands to cup her face. Their eyes met slowly –almost painfully. “It matters to me that you understand,” he said slowly, “that I was a mess. I was fucked up Rory. You were the only thing in my life that I –loving you was the only thing that made sense to me, but I still managed to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you, Rory. I know what I did –I know how that messed with you and might have led you to do things that you might not have done otherwise. I’m not saying it would have ended well for us then, or that we were ready for –but _you_ are not the only one to blame for what happened. I know I’m partially responsible for what put you there, for why you made that choice. It’s not all your fault Rory. That’s what I need you to understand.”

“I loved you so much Jess,” Rory cried.

Jess stopped breathing at her use of the past tense. He was suddenly terrified that for all their tears now, Rory might be telling him that she couldn’t do this anymore. He continued to stare at her until her eyes met his gaze, never relinquishing his hold on her face.

“Even then, I loved you so much. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. You have no idea how many times I wished I could hate you. But it’s like you said: I just can’t. It didn’t matter that you were fucked up; it didn’t matter that you left again. It almost killed me, watching you leave and it almost killed me to say no to you when you came back. But I had to, Jess. I had to,” Rory sobbed.

“Rory,” Jess whispered, trying to ignore the feeling of his stomach sinking to the floor, “what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I’ve always been in love with you Jess. Even when you’re a jerk; even when I was with Dean; even when you kept leaving; even when you hurt me so much. I’ve tried so hard not to love you, but I can’t Jess. I can’t _not_ love you. You’re it for me. I gave up trying not to love you a long time ago,” Rory stopped to catch her breath. “I gave up trying not to love you, or trying to deny that I loved you a long time ago. I _gave in_ to loving you in –why do you think I went to Philadelphia to see you? It doesn’t matter what you do Jess. It doesn’t matter what you do, or how you hurt me or how long it takes you to come around. None of it matters. I love you.”

Jess let out a tiny breath of air that was somewhere between a sob and a chuckle. It was a good thing he was holding Rory’s face, because he couldn’t see anything through the tears that welled up in his eyes and poured down his cheeks. If he wasn’t so overcome, he might have been embarrassed at how emotional he was. There was no use in trying to contain it or stop it. After two minutes or so, his tears slowed to a trickle. Between the long drive, the lack of sleep and the intensity of the moment he was in, Jess could barely stand. Even still, he felt strong –he was holding his life in his hands. “Are you sure?” he asked when he could find his voice.

“Are _you_ sure?” Rory asked softly, between her own sobs. Her voice seemed to indicate that she was genuinely unsure of what he might say.

Jess lips curled up into a beautiful crooked smile, something Rory had started to believe she would never see again. She even found that she had an instant soft spot for his scruffy beard.

Just as this thought occurred to her, Jess pulled her to him hard and fast, crashing his lips against hers. Rory’s chin quivered with residual sobs and she startled slightly as Jess’ beard tickled her skin, but she sighed and melted without any fight. They breathed together easily as their mouths opened and their tongues explored all but forgotten sweetness.

Jess wrapped an arm around Rory’s back and locked her against him, while Rory snaked her arms around his neck and with still closed eyes, found and tugged away the tiny elastic knotting his unruly hair. It was a tangled mess, but as Rory’s fingers twisted in his dark locks, it felt like coming home. Jess groaned quietly at the sensation and tightened his grip around her. His hands wandered up her back until his fingers found her scalp, grabbing her long brown hair in greedy fistfuls, not caring about the force with which he pulled and twisted it.

In the midst of their heated passion, a wave of emotion hit Jess afresh and tears escaped his closed eyes. As he felt a lump rise in his throat, his jaw started to lock. He inhaled sharply through his nose and let out a tiny cry, even with his lips still moving against Rory’s mouth.

Pulling away slowly, Jess pressed his forehead against Rory’s. Rory released her hands from his hair and ran her fingers softly against his face; when she reached his cheeks, she wiped his tears away with her thumbs and pressed them lightly against his cheekbones. “I love you so much, Rory,” he cried softly, “I’m s-s-so sorry.”

“Jess –” Rory started to say.

“No! No. Don’t tell me it’s okay, because it’s not Rory. The things I said to you…”

“Jess, after what I did –”

“It doesn’t matter. You were right. You didn’t do that _to me_ , you didn’t do it to hurt me. Even if you did, I had no right to say those things. None.”

“Even if you were right?” Rory asked through a fresh round of tears.

“Even if,” Jess answered, wiping her tears with a trembling hand. “And I’m not just talking about that –the stuff before, w-when I left and disappeared for a year and then came back to say ‘I love you,’ and show you tail lights, you didn’t deserve that either. Rory, I never meant to –”

“I know,”

Jess’ lack of sleep caught up with him as the urgent intensity of the situation started slipping away. Even leaning against the arm on the couch, he swayed off balance. Rory tightened her arms around him, but she wasn’t nearly strong enough to be as helpful to him as he was to her when she needed to be held up. “Whoa, easy Jess,” she said, straining to help him while making sure that the effort didn’t show too much.

“Sorry,” he said, trying to focus his tired, bloodshot and puffy eyes. “I’m kinda tired. I haven’t really slept.”

“Yeah, you were saying. Should we get some sleep then?” Rory asked gently, propping a finger under his chin.

“You slept,” he mumbled. “I watched you. Not like a creep or anything; just until I remembered how to breathe.”

Despite being sure she’d cried her eyes dry, Rory felt a fresh lump rise in her throat.

“Please Rory, no more tears,” Jess begged weakly.

“Okay,” she whispered, swallowing hard. “I’m tired too Jess, _really_ tired. I’m pretty sure I only slept as long as I did is because you were here.”

Jess’ breath hitched and he kissed her softly. “Neither of us has slept well at all, huh?”  
             
“Doesn’t seem like it, no.”

“Then we should probably go to bed.”  
             
“Alright then, Dodger. Let’s go,” Rory said, slipping her arm around his waist to help support his weight as he stood. Before they left the room, she caught a glimpse of _The Fountainhead_ on the floor. “Do you want Rand?”

Jess looked over his shoulder lazily. “No, she’s a fucking nut bar. Which reminds me: did you say Hemingway reminded you of watching paint dry? That’s cold, Gilmore. After all the lovely things!”

“No. That was you, not Hemingway.”

“Touché. I don’t remind you of drying paint, do I?”

“Not in the slightest. I promise.”

“My book?”

“Full of life. I swear on _The Holy Barbarians_.”

“Swearing on your reputation as a book tease? That’s bold. … I’m too tired to say anything except good; I really do believe you on that. But believe me, when my higher brain function returns, we are revisiting this Hemingway situation.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hey! Look! A bed!” Rory said with enthusiasm as they reached her room.

Rory kept her arm strongly around Jess until he was sitting down and she was sure his balance was solid. She sat down with him and pressed her forehead against his.

“I love you Rory,” Jess said quietly as he swung his feet up on the bed and leaned back, pulling her with him. “I’m so in love with you I can’t even think straight sometimes.”

“I know. I love you too Jess,” Rory said as she snaked an arm around his stomach and laid her head against his chest. “That’s the way it should always be.”

“What’s the way what should always be?” he asked as his eyes drifted closed.

“Being in love. It should mean that you can’t always think straight. That’s the way it should be.”

“Well, I’m very glad that you think that. You’re definitely in no danger of me loving you any less than what has the strength to mess with my powers of rational thought.”

“Promise?” Rory asked with a yawn.

“Promise.”

“Good. Me too.”

“Good, because insanity is so much better with a partner,” Jess whispered before they both fell asleep.


	26. Chapter 26

When Jess woke up, the sun was setting. Rory’s arm was still draped across his stomach, her head on his chest –she was still fast asleep. It was just after seven –Jess was shocked that he’d slept for almost ten hours; he couldn’t remember the last time he slept for so long. Then again, by the time all was said and done, his body had essentially given up.

When he woke up he was extremely stiff. Flexing his legs and curling his toes, Jess waited for his sea legs to return before moving. He shifted his weight slowly and slid sideways off the bed, careful set Rory’s head down gently as he moved out from under her. Rory hardly stirred as he placed her head carefully against the soft mattress, still enveloped in warmth from where he lay sleeping. Jess kissed her forehead lovingly, letting his lips linger against her skin before pulling the blanket up around her and tiptoeing out of the room, closing her door gently behind him.

He wandered into the living room and picked up _The Fountainhead_ off the floor, rendered momentarily breathless as their highly emotional reunion came back to him in waves. “Enough now,” he whispered to himself as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

Just then, his stomach started to growl. Jess suddenly realized that he hadn’t eaten anything since the afternoon of the previous day. He put the book down, sprinted into the kitchen and prayed that since Luke now lived in this house too, there’d be something resembling real food in the fridge and proper cookware hiding in the cupboards.

Opening the fridge, he saw everything he needed: eggs, bacon –the real kind, not the precooked, microwaveable crap- and garlic and even a few tomatoes. Rummaging quietly through the cupboards, Jess found a large frying pan and a small one. It took some searching, but he managed to find cooking oil stashed under the sink and a cutting board hidden in a drawer underneath the cutlery. “Thank you Uncle Luke,” Jess said with a tiny laugh as he set to work.

He set the frying pan on a high heat and let the oil get a good sizzle before throwing his carefully sliced garlic in.  While he waited for it to brown, he sliced the bacon and cut the tomato into quarters while the smaller pan heated up. Throwing a bit of garlic in that one too, he waited a minute or so and put the bacon and the tomato in together and watched as it cracked and sizzled. Jess cracked four eggs carefully in the large frying pan –if his timing was right, everything would be ready at the same time.

Rory woke up shortly after Jess started cooking, lulled out of her sleep by the mouthwatering aromas coming from the kitchen. She smiled briefly and burrowed in the warmth of the blanket before tossing it aside and getting up slowly. She ran her fingers along the top edge of Jess’ diploma as she walked past it to open her door.

“Wow,” Rory said as she stepped into the kitchen and snaked her arms around Jess’ waist. “Such a feast.”

“We’ve earned it,” Jess said casually, leaning back to peck Rory’s cheek. “It’s a good thing Luke lives here now, or we’d be dining on Pop Tarts, I’m sure.”

Rory laughed. “If I offer to help, are you just gonna tell me I’m useless again?”  
             
“Not when I have more than one pan to mind. I assume you can handle making coffee?”

“If I were one armed and blind, I could handle making coffee,” Rory said with a laugh.  
             
“Good. The coffee’s a very important job. I’m trusting you Gilmore.”

“Hey, is that –” she said as she looked into the small frying pan, “are you frying tomatoes?”

“I know you have an aversion to most food that’s actually _food_ , but fried tomatoes are a beautiful thing. They’re so good you might even forget that they’re good _for_ you,” Jess said with a wink.

“You’re lucky I’m powerless against that beautiful face of yours,” she teased.

“Even with this scruffy mess all over it?”

“I like it, it’s sexy.”

“Duly noted. Hey, can you grab plates?”

“Yup.”

As they sat down, the first thing Rory dug into was the tomato. She closed her eyes in delight, “Okay, never doubting you in any way when it comes to food ever again.”

Jess laughed. “I’ll hold you to that when I try my luck with getting you to eat salad.”

“Don’t push the limits of my love for you, Mariano.”

“Hey, you were the one who said you weren’t going to fight me on food.”

Rory sighed with a smile and kept eating. After a few minutes of silence, she couldn’t stop a question from bubbling to the surface. It was a delicate one, so she treaded softly. “Jess? Do we need to –should we talk about –?”

“Rory,” he cut in gently before she could finish. “I think we said everything that needed saying this morning. Don’t you?”

Rory nodded silently. “I think so,” she said weakly.

“Let’s just close the book on it, okay? It’s done. It doesn’t need to cast a shadow on us anymore. It took –” Jess faltered and let out a sigh. “It took a month away from us. Let’s not let it take anything more. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Rory, look at me. Please?”

Slowly, Rory brought her eyes up from her plate to meet Jess’ gaze.

“Hi,” he grinned.

“Hi,”

“Rory, we’re okay. Let’s just move on. We are okay, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, we are. We’ll get back to how it was before, right?”

“We will. It’ll be better than before. No more skeletons, right? No elephants?”

“Nope. All closets and rooms are clear.”

“Mine too,” Jess smiled. “While we’re at it, let’s promise something. That thing that took a month away from us –your side of it, mine, its all off limits now. No matter what happens, or what we fight about in the future –no matter how bad it gets, no drudging this up just to hurt each other. Deal?”

“Deal,” Rory smiled.

“Good. I love you, Rory. Always.”

“Always. Should we shake on it?”

“Shake on what? Loving each other for always?”  
             
“No,” Rory giggled. “The deal.”

“Nah, I know a better way to seal both promises. What I’m thinking of is _way_ more fun than a silly handshake. Burns more calories too.”

Rory blushed.

“Oh come on. We slept, I fed you and we did the whole emotional declaration thing. What’s left? We had breakfast for dinner! What’s more romantic than that?”

“Not much.”

Jess laughed. “You wanna brush your teeth, don’t you?”

Rory nodded. “I really do. I’m sorry, but with the sleeping and then the morning breath –”

“It’s like, eight at night!”

“’Morning breath’ does not refer to the time of day –”

“Fine. What are your other reasons? You’ve got your list face on, I can see it Gilmore. Give it to me.”

“The food –so good by the way!- but the oil, the eggs, the garlic, the coffee, it’s like a veritable pantheon of bad breath –”

Jess cackled loudly. “Did you just say ‘veritable pantheon of bad breath’? Should I be worried that you sound more into brushing your teeth than what’s supposed to come after it?”

“No. You misunderstand me.”

“I do?”  
             
“Yup. See, if we both brush our teeth, we won’t have to stop because our mouths feel gross. We can just keep going. What time did you say it was? Eight? We can go right through till we tucker ourselves out and if we’re really enthusiastic we should even be tired again by eleven or midnight which means the fact that we slept all day won’t even mess with our sleep cycle.”

“Okay, that’s officially the craziest and most effective plug for dental hygiene I’ve ever heard. Got an extra toothbrush?”

“Upstairs. I’ll take go in Mom and Luke’s bathroom, you take main.”

“Deal. Five minutes? Don’t tell me you wanna floss. I draw the line at flossing.”

“No flossing! Too much time wasted!”

“Aw, that’s my woman! Don’t underestimate me either Ror, I could go till twelve-thirty or one,” Jess winked, smacking Rory’s backside before they went separate ways at the top of the stairs.

* * *

When Rory walked back into her bedroom, Jess was sitting on her bed waiting for her. “That was six minutes, Gilmore. We said five and that, I’m afraid, was six,” he teased with mock seriousness. He stood up and closed the distance between them, pinning her against the wall by placing his palms flat on either side of her head.

When he opened his mouth to speak again, their faces were only millimeters apart; Rory bit her lip and let out a tiny unconscious moan at the combination of the heat radiating from his skin and his cool, minty breath. “While I admire your commitment to dental hygiene, I’m afraid there is a price to pay for going over and above our mutually agreed upon time limit,” Jess said, grinning as Rory looked at him, her blue eyes darkening slightly with desire.  
             
Jess smiled and leaned in even closer to whisper into her ear. “I intend to make your body sing, Rory Gilmore, like you know only I can. This is all about me showing you just how much I love you and just how well _I know you._ I know you better than anyone Rory. Do you remember me telling you that?”

Rory nodded weakly as her chest heaved and she panted desperately for breath. He hadn’t even touched her yet and the coil within her was already starting to burn.

“I know you better than anyone,” Jess whispered again, “and just incase there is any doubt in your mind, I’m going to show you. I’m going to show you that I know exactly what to do to your body to make it sing –I’m going to show you that I know your body just as well as I know your mind, your heart and your soul,” he said quietly. Underneath the obvious lust, there was so much reverent sincerity in Jess’ words that it made Rory’s heart ache.

Jess let his hands drift down from the wall, wrapping his arms around her back. When their lips met, there was no pecking, no biting or teasing. Their kisses were long, deep and desperate. Jess lifted Rory right off her feet, without taking his mouth off her. Rory wrapped her arms around Jess’ neck and pressed herself into him, wrapping her legs around his hips as he lifted her. They both moaned at the contact, their hips unconsciously grinding to create more friction.

Rory was wearing a small, spaghetti strap night top; as they continued to kiss and grind, her nipples strained against the thin fabric. Jess moved one of his hands to pinch her through her shirt and she cried out into his mouth.

Jess retreated from her slightly and smiled. “Music to my ears,” he purred.

“Don’t stop,” she begged.

Pulling it aside so forcefully that it ripped, Jess feasted his eyes on Rory’s exposed breast before gripping it roughly. Moving his mouth down her neck, he sucked her soft skin before ducking his head slightly and taking her nipple between his teeth.

“Ah! God!” Rory sighed, arching her back and pressing herself harder against him.

Jess’ arms trembled slightly, but remained strong around her. He knew he couldn’t continue to hold her up while he devoured her –it would simply be too much. Keeping his mouth on her, Jess twirled and took a few short steps to Rory’s bed –setting her down so quickly she bounced against the mattress. Perched on the edge of the bed, Jess stood between Rory’s open legs. He quickly discarded her top, unable to control the grunts and moans of pleasure that escaped him as his hands worked her, rough and unyielding until she was keening, begging for more.

In her frenzy, Rory sat up and reached for the edges of Jess’ shirt and pulled it off him forcefully before moving her hands down to make quick work of his pants.

“God I’ve missed your hands on me,” he rasped. “I’ve missed the way you taste, the way you feel.”

“Jess, I need you,” Rory breathed against the skin of his stomach.

“I know the feeling,” he answered, leaning down to capture her mouth in a fierce kiss.

Without breaking their kiss Jess moved one of his hands down her skin softly until his fingers found their way beneath her loose pajama pants. He smiled into their kiss and nipped at her hungrily when he felt her wetness. Moving his fingers slowly against her clit, Jess felt Rory moan loudly into his mouth as she bucked her hips forward with such eagerness that she nearly scooted right off the bed.

“Easy, Ror,” Jess breathed, slowing his movements. Rory continued to whimper as he moved his free hand to cradle her head and press it against him, picking up his rhythm once more. His fingers tangled in her hair and pulled it roughly as he felt her warm wetness spread between his fingers. The feeling alone of Rory writhing against his hand threatened to undo him. Jess breathed in ragged gasps as he felt Rory tighten, pulling her hair so hard that she cried out.

“Jess,” Rory heaved, “Please,”

Jess came undone as Rory begged for release. He moved his hand down further, pushing his fingers inside her quickly. With a few hard thrusts, Rory bucked her hips wildly and tightened around Jess’ hand, crying out against his chest and biting his nipple as she came.

Jess sucked in a sharp breath and cried out as he felt Rory’s teeth lock on his flesh. He retreated his hand from her slowly, continuing to hold her as they both trembled from the intensity. “Jesus Rory,” he panted, trying to catch his breath. “If I can do that to you blindly, without even looking at what I’m doing, imagine the possibilities,” he teased.

Rory took a hold of his wrist slowly, and brought his hand to her mouth, gently licking the fingers Jess had just had inside of her.

“Fuck,” Jess whispered.

“Please,” Rory said softly.

Jess cocked a grin. “Well, okay. Since you asked nicely.” Shifting his weight and guiding Rory to lift her hips, Jess practically tore her pants off, tossing them aside without a care. Jess stood between Rory’s legs and reached down to take one of her hands, intertwining their fingers. He tugged her gently and she sat all the way up. He kissed her mouth slowly, reverently. “I need you too Rory, I’ve always needed you,” he said softly before pushing her gently to lie back again.

Running his hands slowly along her skin, Jess fingers trailed a path down her sides, tickling her ribcage, ghosting across her hips and finally pressing firmly into her thighs. He pulled her legs slightly farther apart and hitched them up around his hips. Rory obliged and locked her heels together against his back.

Jess clenched his jaw as his tip aligned with her entrance. As he pushed inside of her a tiny sob escaped his lips and his entire body trembled. If he didn’t get a hold of himself, he would fall off his feet. Rory whimpered and writhed around him; it sounded like she was letting out tiny sobs too.

Jess pressed his free hand firmly into her flesh and traced a steady path back up to her hips. Reaching her hips, he curled his fingers around her curves and gripped her sharply as he started to thrust, hard and fast.

His grip was rough enough to pinch and cause Rory to experience a delicious mix of pain and pleasure. She knew it would leave marks, but she didn’t care; she wanted the marks of his possession. She started moaning and yipping in time with his heavy thrusts.

“Oh, God Rory, I don’t know how I –fuck- I don’t know how I survived without this, without you.” Jess still held one of her hands, the nails of their intertwined fingers digging into each other’s soft skin as they strained with need.

Soon, their skin was damp with sweat and started to make soft, sharp slapping sounds with each push. Rory started lifting her hips off the bed to meet Jess’ thrusts, crying out and loving the urgency of his movements.

Jess released Rory’s hand as she started to buck her hips wildly, her backside planking cleanly off the bed every time he drove inside of her. Gripping her hips with both hands he pulled her harder onto him. In an instant, his arms wrapped around her waist as it lifted off the bed and he held her up, freezing their movements while he was buried into the deepest part of her.

“Jess! Oh God!” Rory screamed.

Every muscle in Jess’ body was straining with effort; his chest was heaving. He screwed his eyes shut tightly and tried to slow his breathing –he was so close that his vision started to blur, but he didn’t want this to be over yet. Keeping his arms strongly around her lifted waist, Jess continued to hold Rory off the bed as he withdrew himself quickly and turned her surely and swiftly. In a flash, Jess flipped Rory around in his arms and before she knew what happened, she was on her knees.

Rory gasped at the sudden change in position, which took place in hardly a blink. She instantly gripped the sheets. Her body knew what was happening even though her mind could barely make sense of it. Her knees bent easily and she found her bearings on all fours as she hummed with desire.

Bending forward, Jess placed a searing kiss between Rory’s shoulder blades. She shook with pleasure as his beard tickled her skin. “I love you, sweet girl,” he breathed. “I’ve missed everything about you so much. You feel so good. No one gets to me the way you do,” he whispered, raking his fingers through her hair and grabbing it in his fist as he rocked against her.

“I love you, Jess,” Rory practically cried. “Please, I need… ” She trailed off and thrust her hips back in search of him desperately, her arms trembling with the effort of holding herself up.

“I know what you need. I always know what you need,” he said lowly, grabbing her hip tightly with his free hand and thrusting into her again.

Rory whimpered when Jess entered her again. She fisted the sheets with all her strength and rocked herself back, taking him in further. When he hissed and sucked in a breath at this new angle of pleasure, she shifted her weight forward and rocked back again.

Jess clenched his jaw, tightened his fingers in her hair and yanked her up, so that she was balancing on her knees with her back pressed against his chest. As their sweat soaked skin met with a satisfying clap, Jess released his hand from Rory’s hair and wrapped both arms around her as he continued to rock into her, his thrusts getting harder and shorter as he teetered on the edge.

Rory turned her head slightly and searched out his eyes; when she found them she held his gaze intently as she reached back and ran her fingers through his hair, twisting it in her fist and pulling it hard as Jess brought her to the peak of pleasure for the second time.

Jess cried out loudly and tightened his arms around Rory as he followed her, experiencing his own powerful release. When his shudders subsided, they both collapsed in a sweaty heap and spent the next several minutes trying to catch their breaths.

“That was impressive,” Rory sighed as she snuggled against him. “That little freeze and twirl you did? Mind. Blown. Where did you learn that?”

“Nowhere. You inspire greatness,” Jess said softly, hugging her close and kissing her head. “Did I hurt you?” he asked gently, tracing patterns on her skin.

Rory shook her head and kissed his nose. “Not in any way that I didn’t thoroughly enjoy,” she whispered in his ear. “So, what do you want for your birthday?”

“You. In Philadelphia with me for the rest of the summer.”

Rory smiled and kissed him deeply.

“Hey, so I’m thinking of taking classes,” Jess said when their kiss broke.

“Classes?”

“Temple University has a really good English program, with an option to get your Bachelor’s and your Master’s in five years. The program has a focus in creative writing and professional editing, so I figure I can take some community college classes to boost my chances. I can take the SATs and apply for next fall.”

Rory was speechless. She broke out in a smile so wide her face could barely contain her joy. “Jess, that’s amazing. I think it’s a wonderful idea. You’d really go all the way for a Master’s?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. But it would be handy to be in a program where that’s a ready made option –no extra applications necessary.”

“Look at you! Give the man his GED and he shoots for the stars!”

“Behind the only Mariano to ever shoot for the stars is the love of a great woman, who always told him he could do anything. If this turns out to be a bust, I get to blame it all on you, see,” Jess said with a sarcastic grin.

“Oh, I see how it is. What about Truncheon?” Rory asked, running her fingers through his hair.

“If I go to Temple, that’s still like a year and a half away and it’s local. I can keep my foot in the pool. The guys and I can work it out. I have no desire to leave behind the place that gave me my start. Andrew, Joe, Matt and Chris are my closest friends now; I’m not leaving them. They’ll find a way to still allow me to have a piece of the pie, even if it’s just a small sliver. Have you thought about what you’re going to do after Yale?”

“Not as much as I should have, no. Paris is probably going to be applying to every major paper in the country and even more internationally. She’ll probably apply for her Master’s too; I’ve heard her mention med school a few times… she’s got every possible scenario worked out.”

“I didn’t ask about Paris, Ror. I asked about you.”

“That’s just it though, Jess. I have no idea. Most people have life after college figured out by the end of sophomore year. I want to apply for the Reston Fellowship at the New York Times, but other than that I have no idea. I want the Reston Fellowship, but I know I can’t put all my eggs in one basket. I don’t know what to do.”

Jess kissed Rory’s shoulder softly. “You’ll figure it out. You’ll end up somewhere, doing something amazing and loving it. I know you will.”

“What about us?”

“What _about_ us, Ror?”

“How will we –?”

“We’ll figure it out. We have to. We’re it for each other remember? Look, we’ve got the Connecticut/Philadelphia routine down. We have almost a whole year before that even _might_ change. We have time. We’ll figure it out. I promise. Do not limit your opportunities for life after Yale based on fear, Rory. Okay? No matter where we end up, I’m yours; you know that. The best things in life take work. If we weren’t meant to be together, we would never have made it this far. I’m not saying it will be easy, but we will figure it out.”

 “I love you, so much,” Rory whispered as her chin started to quiver.

Jess pulled her tightly to him and stopped her mouth with a deep kiss, feeling himself harden again. His hand fell to Rory’s thigh and he hitched her leg over his hip, pulling her closer until their chests met and rose and fell together, matching each other as they breathed. Lying face-to-face this way left their hands free to explore and Rory instantly dropped her arm between them and grasped Jess’ length.

“My turn,” she whispered.

“Christ Rory,” Jess breathed. “I’ve missed the way you do that.”

“Well, you don’t have to miss it anymore,” she cooed, tightening her grasp and picking up the pace of her strokes.

Jess started bucking his hips in time with her rhythm, keeping a hand locked to the small of Rory’s back and pulling her closer with every little jerk. Rory felt them getting closer; as Jess continued to thrust into her hand, she guided him inside of her.

Whimpering as they rocked together, Rory brought her hand back up and cupped Jess’ face in her palm. He kissed the inside of her wrist, up her arm and across her throat, running his fingers delicately along the skin of her back. “Rory,” he chocked out, “you feel… I can’t… I won’t last.”

“Me either. I’m almost there, Jess.”

No more words were spoken as they continued to move with each other slowly, coming together in powerful silence.

They fell into a blissful sleep just after midnight and didn’t wake up until the morning light came streaming through Rory’s window. After another expertly prepared breakfast with double the fried tomatoes, both Rory and Jess grabbed a quick shower before Rory packed a few bags. She left a note for Lorelai and Luke that she’d be with Jess in Philadelphia until the end of the first week in August and promised to call and check in when they got back from Cooperstown.


	27. Chapter 27

Rory and Jess spent a blissful five weeks together in Philadelphia. Rory had the love of her life back and she was surrounded by books –all in all, it felt like she’d died and gone to heaven. She happily helped out with Truncheon business whenever she could and even though Matt, Chris, Joe and Andrew tried to dissuade her from it, they couldn’t win.

Walking in on one of their playful fights, Jess chuckled. “I’d give up now,” he said to his friends quietly, “because you’re not gonna win. Also, believe me, for Rory this won’t be ‘work’. Letting her help out while she’s here is the equivalent to giving a kid keys to a candy store.”

After that, the guys agreed to let Rory help with the inventory and even let her have a hand in putting together the edition of the ‘zine they were working on while she was there. Non-fiction journalistic prose was hardly the pulse Truncheon was concerned with having their stake in, but they went so far as asking Rory to write a few pieces for the edition she was helping with –reviews of new publications Truncheon had just put out, author spotlights and the like.

They were so impressed with her work ethic and her writing that they even offered her a small lump salary right before she left. When she tried politely –and repeatedly- to refuse, Jess said to Rory, “This one, _you_ won’t win. It’s just their way of saying thanks.”

Jess spent the rest of the summer finishing up the first draft of the short novel he’d started when he and Rory were apart –he wanted it to be well on its way to publication as he started taking community college classes in the fall. Despite much pleading from Rory, Jess would not tell her anything about it, other than to say she’d be among the first to read it as soon as the final draft was ready for publication. All the pouting and great sex had not softened his firm stance on the matter –though he did give her the title: _The Beauty of Sadness._

They made one weekend trip back to Stars Hollow when Lane called Rory with the news that she was pregnant. Jess was pleasantly surprised that there was no hoopla surrounding them when they came back. The town gave them the most generous gift they could offer –graciously forgetting about the drama of their worst rough patch and acting as though it never happened, even though Jess and Rory knew that everyone was aware of exactly what happened. While they were in Stars Hollow, they heard all about Lorelai and Luke’s honeymoon and Jess even apologized to Babette for stealing Pierpont –her beloved gnome- all those years ago.

Jess had gotten into community college surprisingly easily. The English placement test that the college made him take was laughable –but necessary- and he completed it in half the allotted time, coming out with a grade of ninety-six percent. He was focusing his course load on English Literature, Philosophy and Creative Book Publishing in order to obtain as many transfer credits as he could when he applied to Temple in the spring.

He knew this was a big decision and there would likely be a –somewhat challenging- adjustment. Jess was well aware of just how much he intended to take on and while it terrified him, it also excited him in ways he never could have imagined. He dove into it with such drive and optimism that even Rory was in awe. He chose to write the SATs in between January and March, so that he could apply to start at Temple in the fall of 2007. Rory was already helping him with prep and study tips.

Jess didn’t tell Rory he was terrified; he was worried that a guy with nothing but a GED to his name might be laughed out of an admissions interview –despite his accomplishments at Truncheon and the Honours distinction that came with his GED. But he had to try. He had to do well on the SATs.

Rory and Jess rebuilt their relationship brick by brick. Dean never came up again, but they had many conversations about past mistakes and what they wanted for their future. The one common thread is that all they could see of the future was each other. By the time Rory was getting ready to leave Philadelphia, both she and Jess believed that they’d worked their way back –their relationship and commitment to each other was stronger now than it had ever been. They agreed to keep up with alternating weekends and deal with issues as they arose; trying to look _too_ far ahead and figure everything out at once could end up doing more damage than good, so they decided that one step at a time was the best way to tread forward.

Five weeks went by in a blink. The goodbyes were hushed and slightly emotional, both worried about how to find the balance for their relationship in light of everything Jess was juggling now on top of Truncheon –with community college and his looming SATs and application to Temple University.

If there was one thing neither of them wanted it was to stand in the way of the other person’s dreams. It was going to be hard; they knew there were plenty of unknowns and potential for serious strain on their relationship that neither of them would see coming. But, based on where they were now and everything they’d been through, they had to believe that their love was strong enough to remain through whatever lay ahead for them.

* * *

Before Rory knew it, it was nearly Thanksgiving. She was feeling glum, because she had just abdicated her throne as the editor of the Yale Daily News; she was officially done working at the paper. As they were walking home one day, Paris tried to comfort her, as only Paris could.

“Just remember, Tricyclic antidepressants are better than your Monoamine Oxidase inhibitors, since those are for panic attacks. It doesn't look like you're there yet,” Paris said.  
             
“I have no plans of going there,” Rory assured, shocked at Paris’ bizarre statement.  
             
“You will. I know when I was finished as editor, I went into a major tailspin, couldn’t you tell?”  
             
“Well you masked it so well with your generally gloomy disposition.”  
             
“The first day is hard. Then it just gets worse.”  
             
“As it happens, I am totally relieved that my job at the paper is over,” Rory said with a sigh.  
             
Paris chuckled. “Yeah I did the denial thing, too. I even tried smiling a lot. That got old, and I think it made this line,” she said, pointing to a crease in her forehead.  
             
“That'll teach you to smile,” Rory said seriously.  
             
“You really shouldn't be alone at a time like this.”  
  
“Are you offering some quality time to cheer me up?” Rory joked.

“No. I don’t have time to coddle you, Gilmore. What am I, your whet nurse? I have to start getting ready for the LSAT, they’re only giving it one more time before spring. What are you going to do after anyway?”

“After?”

“After Yale. After undergrad. You looking into fellowships? Scholarships? Grad schools?”  
             
“Not really. I mean, not yet. I will, probably,” Rory stammered.

“Well, give yourself some time to recover from the loss of the Yale Daily News, and then you should really get cracking. Our time in this protective Ivy League bubble is coming to an end Rory. You have to have a plan.”

“I know, I just –”

“Let yourself grieve this loss first,” Paris said again as climbed the steps to their apartment. “What’s Jess up to?”

“He’s working hard to finish his book and he’s started taking community college classes,” Rory said.

“Are you guys still managing okay?”

“Yeah, we’re good. I mean we’re both really busy and Jess is doing twice as much as he was before, so seeing each other every weekend is not as easy as it was in the winter. It’s good I went to Philadelphia in the summer; we had wonderful quality time, with just us. We needed that, after…” Rory trailed off. “Anyway, yeah, we’re good. Really good.” 

“Are you seeing him this weekend?”

“Unfortunately no. He’s finalizing his novel and his college classes are really busy; he’s got a bunch of assignments to hand in before the end of his semester. He’ll be coming to Stars Hollow for Thanksgiving though.”

“Are you sure?”

“About what?” Rory asked, looking at Paris quizzically as they approached their front door. “What are you talking about?”

Paris cocked a fleeting grin and pointed towards their door, where Jess was leaning against the wall waiting.

“Oh my God!” Rory yelled, running towards him. “What are you doing here?”

Jess shrugged his messenger bag off the instant Rory saw him and wrapped his arms tightly around her as she crashed into him. “Surprise,” he grinned.

Rory hugged him tighter and tangled her fingers in his hair –which was shorter now than it had ever been; it didn’t even require mousse, but it was still soft and luscious and offered more than enough of an anchor. “What are you doing here?” she asked again, softly.

“I have something for you,” Jess winked. “I figured you could use a pick-me-up, being that you’re leaving the Yale Daily News behind.” He nuzzled his beard into Rory’s neck and she giggled, pulling him closer until she caught his lips in a kiss.

“Geez you two, get a room,” Paris interjected. “Not here, either. I have studying to do and I’d rather not be forced to block out the sounds of your wild monkey love in order to concentrate.”

“It’s nice to see you again too, Paris,” Jess smiled. “I have something for you too.”

“You what?” Paris asked. In spite of herself, her curiosity was piqued.

“Give Rory and I a half an hour.”

“Why only half an hour, Jess?” Rory asked.

“Business meeting in Hartford. Meeting a local artist who wants to hang some stuff on our walls. Half an hour’s all I got; only reason I’m here to take this meeting is because I handed assignments in early to be able to miss class today.”

“Paris,” Rory pleaded. “Come on.”

“Fine. But your boyfriend said he had something for me. I’m not leaving until I get it.”

“Woman with her eyes on the prize. I like it,” Jess said, fishing a tiny bottle out of his bag and tossing it to Paris gently. “You still like hot sauce, Geller?”

“I do,” Paris said, catching it with a tiny smile. “Doyle’s pallet can’t handle spice though, so it’s a lonely life.”

“That’s good stuff. Enjoy being a hog. It’s Doyle’s loss.”

Paris narrowed her eyes at Rory. “Thirty minutes,” she said, turning on her heel and walking back down the stairs.

“My, she is positively warm and cuddly isn’t she?” Jess asked, watching her leave.

“You bribed Paris,” Rory said, astonished.

“It appears that I did.”

“You bribed _Paris_. That is –you bribed Paris with _hot sauce_!”

“Thank God for my killer charm, huh?”

“Indeed,” Rory said, kissing Jess’ cheek before opening the apartment door. “So what are you doing here?”

When they got inside, Jess turned to Rory wrapped an arm around her waist, picking her up off the ground. He kissed her forcefully, exploring her mouth with his tongue and pecking at her lips with his teeth until she started to whimper. Stopping just as suddenly as he started, Rory pouted. “Sorry,” he said with a devilish grin, “couldn’t help myself.”

“You shouldn’t start something you don’t have time to finish,” Rory said.

“How are you, Ror?” Jess asked sincerely, pecking her nose. “How is it, being done at the paper? Are you okay?”

Rory sighed. “I’m okay I guess. I mean, it hasn’t really sunk in yet. It only happened yesterday. It just seems like life is moving so fast now, you know? I should really figure out what I’m going to do. I have to…”

“You will.”

“Yeah, I guess.”  
  
“Remember the first time you told me you wanted to be Christiane Amanpour? I told you I thought it seemed too rough for you?”

“Yeah.”

“I lied. You had to know, even then that I was lying. You can do anything you want. You have serious clout. You’re a crazy talented journalist, Rory. Just because you haven’t figured it out yet doesn’t mean that you won’t. You will. Of course you will. You’ll hone your senses until you find the exact path you want and when you do, I wouldn’t want to be the person standing in your way. It might not happen in a snap, but it will happen. If things worked out for me, they _will_ work out for you. If my life could make heads or tails of itself, you’ll be working at the New York Times and running the show before you’re thirty. Sometimes, you’re too organized for your own good Gilmore. You’ve gotta let life catch up with your meticulously itemized lists.”

“I’m kind of in love with you, Jess Mariano. Did you know that? Like, a lot,” Rory said, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“I did know that actually. It’s a good thing, because I’m kind of in love with you too. And as everyone knows, when ‘kind of in love’ goes unreciprocated, things get messy,” Jess smiled. “Oh, okay, so, I have something to show you.”

“What is it?”

“Here,” Jess handed her an unmarked envelope.

Rory opened it and read the single page of information until she saw a date. Jess had scheduled his SATs for the second week in January. “Wow, Jess. This is exciting! Are you excited?”

“You say ‘excited’, I say terrified.”

“Terrified why? You’ll do great!”

“I don’t know about great, but…”

“Jess, come on. You’ll do great. Your teachers at community college love you right? Didn’t you tell me they said you might even be able to transfer a few of the credits?”

“Yeah but, let me pass the SATs before you start planning my whole Bachelor’s Degree,” Jess laughed.

Rory thought about this with a deeply pensive look on her face for about two seconds before saying, “Nope. I’m planning now.”  
  
“Is that what’ll cheer you up right now?”

“Yes it will.”

“Then by all means, plan away my love. One more thing,” he said, digging around in his bag again. “Close your eyes.”

“Seriously?” Rory whined, begrudgingly closing her eyes.  
             
“Seriously.” Jess pulled out his laptop and opened his word processor to a single page document. “Okay, you can open them now.”

“What is this, Jess?” Rory asked, trying to make sense of the predominantly blank page in front of her. Slowly, her eyes focused on a single line of script, centered in the middle of the page in delicate italics:

_For Rory Gilmore. Words cannot express how much I love her because after all, what is ‘much’?_

Rory’s eyes instantly welled up with tears. “Jess,” she whispered, “is that…?”

“Yeah. I gave it to the guys yesterday. It’s going to the printer’s next week. Should have a few advance copies by Christmas. I was going to make you wait to see it until I could give you the finished book, but I figured you’d need something to –”

Rory closed Jess’ laptop without another word and set it down before kissing him deeply. Tears rolled down her cheeks as Jess melted and responded instantly, moaning into her mouth as she caught his bottom lip between hers and sucked on it. Shifting her weight, she moved to straddle his lap. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“You’re welcome,” Jess said quietly, staring into her eyes. “How much time till Paris comes back?”

Rory turned herself slightly to look at the clock on the wall behind her. When she moved, the delicious friction against his groin made Jess’ breath hitch and he tightened his grip on her hips.

“Twenty minutes.”

“Well then, I guess I should get to finishing what I started,” he breathed, reaching for the hem of her sweater.


	28. Chapter 28

Since the wedding, Lorelai and Luke had barely spoken to Richard and Emily out of solidarity for Rory’s sake. Rory had been trying very hard to make peace with Richard –as with the vow renewal incident of the previous year involving her dad, Rory knew that the Dean bomb reeked of Emily Gilmore. Despite his mild disapproval of Jess, Rory knew her grandfather was merely a bystander in the mess that ruined her life for twenty-eight days. But she could barely get past cordial politeness and very minor shows of affection with him. She was still mad at him and she couldn’t shake it. Being mad at her grandfather wasn’t easy; it tortured her. Still, Rory couldn’t find the strength to rise above it all despite the fact that she and Jess had found their way back to normalcy months ago.

Being mad at her grandmother on the other hand was incredibly easy; she didn’t revel in the anger, but she certainly had no desire to make any effort to blot it out.

Christmas Eve at the Gilmore mansion was filled with vast silences, clipped conversation and silverware clanging a little too harshly against expensive china patterns. There were no pre-dinner drinks, the meal was eaten swiftly and there were _definitely_ no apple tarts; gifts were opened with barely a courteous word and Lorelai, Rory and Luke were on the road back to Stars Hollow before nine.

“That was awful,” Rory sighed as Luke pulled up in front of the diner.

“Christmases are supposed to suck,” Luke offered, confident in his cynicism. “They never live up to expectations; it’s supposed to be wonderful together time where everyone remembers how much they love each other and by the end of the night, everyone’s planning murder. That being said, I’m pretty sure what we just experienced has raised the bar for awful Christmases everywhere. Shall I cheer you ladies up with some burgers?”

“Only if it’s a disgusting Santa burger,” Lorelai said with a twinkle in her eye.

“Oh! Two please!” Rory said excitedly.

“Two disgusting, gross, festive Santa burgers, comin’ up.”

“When’s Jess getting here?” Lorelai asked Rory.

“Um, I think he might be here already. He was hitting the road as soon as Truncheon closed at five,” Rory answered.

“How’s he handling everything? He’s quite the busy bee these days.”

“Yeah, he’s only gonna get busier. But he likes it. He’s super motivated with school and he’s doing really well. He’s really set on getting into the English program at Temple. He’s writing the SATs in about three weeks.”

“Wow, that’s big.”

“Yeah, it’s exciting,”

“Let me guess,” Luke cut in with a laugh, “you’re excited and he’s neutral about it. And you hate that he’s neutral, don’t you?”

Rory chuckled. “He’s not neutral like he doesn’t care, he’s just not –”

“Looking forward to writing the SATs with the same excitement that most people have before taking an exotic trip or going to a rock concert?”

“Yeah, that about sums it up. I really don’t understand why!” Rory said, eagerness creeping into her voice. “Writing the SATs is thrilling! I mean it’s daunting and stressful, but also thrilling! The rush of knowing that your entire future is riding on one series of exams is exhilarating!”

“You are definitely not a normal human being.” Jess appeared on the sidewalk beside Luke’s truck and spoke loudly enough for Rory to hear him through the closed door. He opened the door for Rory and pulled her into a tight hug. “Hi,” he said softly.

“Hi,”

“How was Christmas at the Gulag?”

“Gulag-like. Ugh, Jess it was awful.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, kissing her head softly.

“It’s okay. It’ll be better now,” Rory said, pressing her head into his shoulder.

Rory and Jess pulled apart as Lorelai and Luke got out of the truck. Jess offered Lorelai a warm hug and then embraced his uncle.

“How was the drive?” Luke asked.

“Good. Uneventful,” Jess answered.

“Which is just how long drives should be.”

“Exactly. Hey, did I hear something about gross Santa burgers?”

Luke laughed. “Yeah, they’re truly disgusting, but they make these two very happy. Come on, I’ll show you. Once you see how they’re assembled I’ll let you decide if you’re brave enough to try one too. When are you seeing Liz?”

“I’m taking a detour on the way back to Philadelphia after the new year. I’m spending a few days with her.”

“Try not to kill TJ in his sleep,” Luke chuckled.

“Aw, but then how am I supposed to have any fun?” Jess whined as all four of them went inside the diner.   

Later, at home, the four of them sat around the Christmas tree and opened the traditional single gift on Christmas Eve.

Jess gave all three of them a copy of his new book, which was hot off the press. Luke and Lorelai were moved to silence upon seeing his dedication, while Rory shed a few tears, running her fingers over the words.

“You guys don’t have to be emotional and weird. I was just too lazy to get you real gifts. But hey, if this is the reaction that my lack of creativity gets, next year you’re all getting lumps of coal,” Jess joked.

“Jess, this is really remarkable,” Lorelai said with sincerity.

“This is amazing, Jess. We’re so proud,” Luke agreed. “It’s amazing that you found time to finish this on top of everything else you’re doing right now.”

“It’ll probably be the last one for a while, so stretch out that emotional enjoyment you’re gettin’. Author-Jess is gonna have to take a backseat to university-student-Jess,”

“Author Jess will never disappear, he’ll always be there,” Rory said softly, stroking his bearded chin with her thumb.

“Why are _you_ crying?” Jess whispered to Rory. “You saw the dedication before, Ror.”

“I know I did, it’s just –it’s a book now. I can hold it in my hand. I can run my fingers over the words. It’s just so –I can’t believe you’d dedicate a whole book to me.”

“Who else would I have dedicated it to, exactly?”

“Me!” Lorelai chimed in.

“As if!” Luke said with a laugh. “If the kid’s dedicating books to anyone other than Rory, I’d get a dedication before you would.”

“Both of you stop, before I have to separate you,” Jess rolled his eyes. “The next one will be dedicated to _both_ of you, okay?”

“Well, okay, but whose name will appear first? Because you know, pecking order is very important for –” Lorelai said quickly.

“Dear God,” Luke mumbled. “This is really important to you?”

“Yes, it is.”

“You’re insane.”

“Probably. But you love me. You _married_ me, Danes. What does that make you?”

“Even more insane than you,” Luke muttered.

“Precisely,” Lorelai said with a satisfied nod. “Now hush and let Jess answer my very important question.”

Jess laughed and turned to Rory. “Is this going to be us in ten or fifteen years?”

“Probably,” Rory smiled.

“Good.”

“Aw, so touching, so cute. Jess! Answer my question!” Lorelai said impatiently.

Jess sighed. “Your name will be first, Lorelai,”

“What? Why?” Luke pressed.

“ _Now_ who’s the insane one, dear husband?”

“Hush up, you,” Luke said to Lorelai playfully. “Jess, why?”  
             
“Alphabetical order,” Jess said simply.

“Hey! No, that’s not –Danes! ‘D’ comes before ‘G’ Jess.”

“First names. ‘L-o’ comes before ‘L-u’.”

“Oh come on. That’s just ridiculous,” Luke grumbled.

“Really? Out of this entire screw-ball comedy digression, me deciding to list dedications by first name and thus making you second in line behind your _wife_ – _that’s_ what’s ridiculous here?”

“Yes.”

“You’re crazy, Uncle Luke.”

“Aw Jess, I’m so glad I decided to like you _so very much_!” Lorelai laughed.

“Me too,” Jess said, smiling widely.

“Watching Luke squirm is so much fun! I’m finally starting to understand the motives behind so much of your teenaged misadventures!”

Jess and Lorelai clapped their hands together in a triumphant high-five while Luke continued to grouse and roll his eyes at them.

* * *

Later, when Luke and Lorelai had gone to bed, Jess and Rory were cuddling quietly in her room, a tangled mess of limbs and blankets. “I have to tell you something,” she said uneasily.

“What is it?” Jess noticed the furrow in Rory’s brow and ran his thumb across her forehead. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong,”

“Your mouth is speaking the words, but your face tells me something different. What’s going on, Ror?”

Rory sighed. “I got an email from someone named Hugo Gray. He runs an online magazine and he wants me to send him some of my writing. They cover everything: politics, current events, the economy, the job market, entertainment, but everything has a young fresh vibe…”

“Ror! That’s amazing! He wants you to write for him? That’s unbelievable! It’s so exciting! Why would you be so unsure about telling me that? When did he email you?”

“About a week and a half ago. Right before I left Yale for Christmas break.”

“This is so great! But why did you wait all this time to tell me?”

“Jess, he –” Rory faltered and took a deep breath, “Logan. He got my email address from Logan.”

Jess was instantly confused. “I thought Logan moved to London?”

“He did. Hugo Gray knows the Huntzberger family from various business dealings. I guess Logan’s been keeping track of my writing from London –probably reading the Yale Daily News online. When Hugo emailed me he said that Logan mentioned my name the last time they were talking, supposedly telling him what an amazing journalist I am, so if Hugo was ever in need of a great writer he should get in touch with me. And a week and a half ago… he did,” Rory blurted out quickly.

Jess sighed and smirked at Rory. “Is that all?”

“I’m so sorry Jess.”

“What do you have to be sorry for?”

“Well, for… I mean, Logan –”

“Moved to London. For all the shit he put you through, I’m glad Dick Boy finally did something right by you.”

Rory stared into Jess’ dark, beautiful eyes. “You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad? He’s still living in London right? He’s not gonna show up here and drag me into a fist fight, is he?”

“No. I mean yes, he’s still living in London.”

“So where exactly is the badness here? Logan did something really amazing for you; it sounds like maybe this is his way of apologizing for fucking with you so much. Take advantage of it, Rory. This sounds like an amazing opportunity. If this Hugo Gray guy wants you to submit pieces for him, you should. If you don’t, there’s something wrong with you. Rory, look at me,” Jess tilted her face up, so that he could see her bright blue eyes, “I’m in love with you. You’re in love with me. I’m not easily scared. I don’t feel the least bit threatened by Logan –I never have, even before the bastard cheated on you. I saw right through him, remember?”

“I know,” Rory sighed.  
             
“You hightailed it to New York to sit by his bedside when he nearly killed himself bouncing off some rocks –did I get mad at you for that? Did I hold that against you?” Jess asked gently.

“No,”

“So tell me, in what world would I be unruffled by that but fly into a rage over him creating an email connection between you and someone who could really help your career take off?”

“Jess,”

“Rory,” Jess said, pressing his palm into her cheek, “it’s okay. This is a really great opportunity. You should be happy. Judging by the look on your face, I’m guessing you’ve really wanted to get excited but you wouldn’t let yourself because you were scared of what I might say, huh?”

“You know me too well,” Rory sighed, embarrassed.

Jess laughed softly. “See, that’s where you’re wrong. So, you’re gonna write for him, right? Will you please get excited now? If you don’t I’m gonna feel really weird, being this excited on your behalf when you won’t even crack a smile.”

“Yes, I’ll write for him,” Rory smiled slowly at first, but soon her lips danced upward and her joy could barely be contained. “So, I’m thinking for my first piece I might write about the political climate among young voters, or maybe a critique on celebrity driven culture, or I could –”

Jess cut her off with a kiss, long and deep. “I love you, Rory. I’m really happy for you,” he whispered when they finally had to breathe.

“Thanks,” Rory said softly. “I love you too.”

“I’m sorry things are still weird with your grandparents.”

“You are?”

“Rory. Of course I am. They may have almost ruined our happiness and I certainly haven’t lost anything because they don’t like me, but I’m not heartless. I know this is still really hard for you.”

“Yeah,”

“They haven’t apologized, huh?”

“No. Are you really assuming that they have humility? Humility when it comes to their disapproval of you?”

“Okay, first of all, ouch. Words are like a fist, you know,” Jess smirked, “and second of all, your grandmother probably doesn’t have an ounce of humility in her, no. But your grandfather seems like a decent guy.”

“Jess,” Rory sighed. “You talked to my grandpa exactly one time and then you punched a wall.”

“Yeah, you’re right, I did. But I figured out why he backed me into that corner.”

“Why?”

“He wanted to make sure I was good enough for you.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? Or make what he did less backhanded? If it is, I’m not sure it’s having the desired affect.”

“Rory, if someone decides they don’t like me, I rarely give a shit. When I realized what your grandfather was up to when he was talking to me, I could have weaseled out of it. But I didn’t; I owned it even though I knew how he would look at me, even though I already knew he knew what I was going to say. I owned it, I told him the truth before I downed the rest of my drink and tried to get the hell out of dodge. You want to know what he told me before he let me leave the room?”

“What?”

Jess let out a shaky breath. “He told me that you told him that I got you back to Yale. I tried to toss it; I muttered that you would have found your way back eventually, without me. Your grandfather –Richard Gilmore- told me he didn’t believe that was true. Then he asked me for my book.  
             
“Your grandmother fucked us up Rory, not your grandfather. He may not like me much, but he was never gonna get in our way, not really. He loves you, Ror. He just wants you to be happy. He’s a proud guy and he knows he can’t do much to protect you anymore.    

“He knows what happened at the wedding was a disaster, even if he hasn’t told you as much. How can he, with your grandmother hovering over everything, sucking the air out of the room?”

Rory felt her eyes brim with tears. She swallowed hard and ran her fingers through Jess’ hair. “You got all that from one conversation with him that drove you to run your fist into the wall?”

“Yeah, pretty much. How close am I?”

“Freakishly so,”

“Okay. Will you do something for me then?”

Rory nodded.

“Try to just give him a chance, a tiny opportunity –away from your grandmother- to talk to you. He might surprise you with what he has to say. Tell him about Hugo Gray, he’ll be happy for you, Ror –really happy. It’s everything he wants for you. You should tell him.”

“Okay,” Rory whispered. “I will.”

“You promise?” Jess asked.

“I promise.”

“Good. Merry Christmas, Rory.”

“Merry Christmas, Jess.”

“And you know what says ‘Merry Christmas’ like nothing else?” Jess kissed her again and Rory melted as soon as his tongue licked her lips.

They both shifted and rolled until Rory was on top. Underneath all of the layers of blankets, their naked bodies were sweating, already hot with desire.  
             
“Sex?” Rory winked.

Jess was positioned perfectly underneath her and when he realized what he could do and how breathless it would make her, he smirked. “Exactly,” he breathed, grabbing her hips and locking her against him. He sat up in a snap, plunging deep inside of her so quickly that her eyes fluttered and her cheeks blushed crimson.

They found their rhythm quickly and soon Rory was riding Jess hard. “Sneaky, what you did there,” Rory panted, “but you know two can play that game, right?” Taking both his hands and intertwining their fingers, she pinned him against the bed with all her strength and started lowering herself onto him, throwing all of her weight into her backside as she rocked harder each time.

“Jesus, fucking God, Ror,” Jess hissed, squeezing her hands tighter. It took all of the self-control he possessed not to grip her hips roughly and throw her down on the bed, but he managed not to. Rory was in control of this and he liked it. A vice grip on her hands wasn’t enough though. “Please,” he whispered breathlessly, “let me touch you.”

“No,” Rory smiled against the skin of Jess’ neck, licking upwards slowly until she reached his earlobe and bit down softly. She continued to shower wet, passionate kisses back down his neck, her movements becoming more frantic all the while. She could feel the heat within her wind tighter and tighter; she was getting close. When her lips found Jess’ mouth she captured him in a rough kiss to stifle the scream that she knew was coming. With a few more sharp thrusts of her hips, Rory came hard and kissed Jess fiercely; she bit his lip sharply enough that it caught him by surprise –his eyes flew open at the sudden mixture of pleasure and pain.  Despite crashing her mouth against Jess’ and holding his lips captive between her teeth, a surprisingly loud, ragged and keening moan of pleasure escaped Rory’s throat as she came.

The instant she found release, her strong grip on Jess’ hands weakened as she rode out her orgasm. Feeling Rory tighten around him was still unlike anything else Jess had experienced. Even after all of this time, bringing Rory to her peak was still the most powerful feeling of pleasure he’d ever experienced. Nothing would ever compare to it.

As Rory’s grip weakened, Jess seized his opportunity to wrap his arms around her waist tightly. He jackknifed himself up and threw Rory down on the bed; he leaned forward, hovering above her and pinned her thighs to her chest as he ponded into her hard and fast, desperately searching for his own release.

As Jess felt himself start to spill inside of her, Rory unexpectedly tightened again. He caught Rory’s mouth in a frantic kiss that was rough and deep enough to muffle both of their screams, teeth biting lips in urgency once more. He remained positioned within her until he rode his orgasm out fully. When blissful exhaustion washed over him, he withdrew gently and hugged Rory tightly.

“Oh!” Rory said excitedly. “I have something for you.” Getting up out bed, she went to her wardrobe and started fiddling –looking for something she’d obviously stashed in a drawer. “For you,” she smiled, handing Jess a sizeable rectangular cardboard box.

“Christmas morning is tomorrow, shouldn’t I hope this then?” Jess asked with a smile.

“I want you to open it now.”

“Okay.”

Jess made quick work of the giant blue ribbon and delicately removed the several layers of tissue paper protecting what lay underneath. Sitting in that plain white box was a pristine black leather messenger bag with a laptop compartment and enough room for all of Jess’ books. On the large brass enclosure there was an inscription: _Courage is grace under pressure. –Ernest Hemingway._

“Rory,” Jess whispered. “This is beautiful. It’s –this is too much.”

“No it isn’t, Jess. Do you really think that I –Rory Gilmore- would allow the love of my life to start his university career using the same beat up old messenger bag he’s been dragging around for like, four years? It’s not too much; just enough,” she said sincerely, kissing his cheek. “You deserve it.”

Jess looked at her with teary eyes. “I haven’t even gotten into Temple yet,” he joked, his voice cracking with emotion.

“But you will,” Rory said simply. “And when you, do you’ll have a messenger bag befitting a well-respected author and business owner.”

“But I –”

“Think of your last semester at community college as an opportunity to break it in, so that it’s soft and comfortable and familiar by the time you get to Temple.”

Jess put the bag back in the box and held Rory’s face between his hands, staring into her eyes, darkness seeking out the light. He kissed her softly, chastely, before pressing his forehead against hers. “Thank you,” he said so quietly that he barely spoke above a whisper. “I love you. You’re everything, everything I’d convinced myself I would never get, everything I was sure I didn’t deserve. And yet, here you are.”

“Yup, here I am,” Rory said, pecking his nose softly. “I love you. I’m so proud of you Jess –and you do deserve this. You deserve all of the goodness that’s on the horizon for you. And you’re not about to get rid of me… you’ve got me. Please stop thinking you don’t deserve me, because it’s not true.”

Jess leaned in to kiss her. They would make love slowly several more times before the sun came up on that Christmas morning.


	29. Chapter 29

“It’s just –fuck, I feel like getting my GED was useless,” Jess sighed into the phone. He’d just found out that despite getting his GED, Temple University required his high school transcripts as well.

“Jess, don’t say that. You know it wasn’t useless. Come on, that’s just the way the college application system works,” Rory tried to comfort him.

“They’re gonna know I flunked out,”

“Yeah, they’ll see you didn’t finish, but that’s what you got your GED for –so the not finishing doesn’t matter. You’re acing community college and you’re barely lifting a finger to do it. You’ll do great on the SATs, you’ve lined up awesome references to write you recommendation letters and you’re a published author Jess –you run a business. A few incompletes on your high school transcript won’t matter.”

“‘A few incompletes’? I didn’t graduate because I basically skipped all of senior year. That’s more than a few incompletes. Once they see I’m a flunky, it probably won’t make a damn bit of difference what else I’ve accomplished. All they’ll see is what I didn’t accomplish. Signed, sealed and denied: _Dear Mr. Mariano, we regret to inform you that you’ve been rejected. Perhaps you should revisit the idea of a gainful career with the Wal-Mart Corporation. Sincerely, Temple University Admissions Department_ …” Jess swatted his arm across his bed and sent his books crashing to the floor.

“Jess, I know you’re –”

“What do you know about how this feels, Rory? You know nothing about _my_ SAT prep or college application stress. You went to Chilton and had a near perfect GPA coming out of high school; you were a shoe-in Rory –you had your pick of choice between the top three universities in this country! They all wanted you!

“I didn’t finish high school; on paper I’m no better than a bum sleeping in Washington Square Park. I know you worked hard, but I have to work a lot harder than you did. I’m not applying to three universities so I won’t have the luxury of going ‘Oh, I didn’t get in, but that’s okay, there’s always the others!’ Temple’s my only shot, Rory; I don’t have another option. It’s Temple or bust. You have no idea what this feels like, so don’t pretend like you do,” Jess spat.

Rory sat in silence. She understood that Jess was stressed, frustrated with the system and angry at everything else that had nothing to do with her. It didn’t make being the target of his anger any easier. Silently, she took deep breaths and forced herself to remain calm and keep quiet until she could say something that wouldn’t provoke further rage. The last thing she wanted to do was fight.

“You’re right,” she said finally, very carefully. “When I was applying to college, I had it pretty easy, all things considered. You’re right, the stress I experienced and what you’re going through now are two different things. But on a basic level, I do understand the stress.”

Jess breathed heavily into the receiver and stayed quiet.

“I also doubt that bums in Washington Square Park are self-made successful authors who run a publishing house. Don’t sell yourself short, Jess. You have an impressive resume.”

“You’re assuming they’re gonna read my resume before they toss my whole file into the fire and roast marshmallows on a spit as my future burns…” Jess let out another sharp sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry, Ror,” he said, “I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just, the SATs are only two days away and I’m freaking out here.”

“Is there anything I can say that will help?” Rory asked gently, to avoid setting him off again. “Anything I can do?”

“Don’t suppose you can take the tests for me… ?”

“Mmm I would but see, I’m a girl. And while ‘Jess’ is a common short form for ‘Jessica’, I’m pretty sure they know you’re a guy so I don’t think that would work,” Rory said with a smile that she knew Jess would hear.

“Damn. Believe it or not, that was my best plan. I might not be as smart as you think I am.”

“You are. You’ll do great on the SATs and you’ll get into Temple. It won’t be bust for you Jess, I promise.”

“Christ, what am I gonna do if I don’t –”

“It will all be fine.”  
             
“You sound pretty sure, Gilmore.”

“I am. One hundred per cent unflappable.”

“Well, that makes one of us…”  
             
“Jess? I love you.”

Jess closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Can you say that again, please?”

“I love you,” Rory said with conviction. “I will always love you.”

“If you break into a Whitney Huston serenade, our touching moment might be ruined,” Jess laughed. After a pause he said, “Thank you, for loving me.”

“Every time you say that, you say it like you’re surprised that I do.”

“Six months ago, I did still find it surprising. Now, I’m just thankful.”

“I could say the same thing…”

“I’m not going anywhere, Ror,” Jess said warmly. “I love you too.”

Rory sighed gratefully. “Okay, well I should probably go right, let you get back to cramming? Do you want me to call you tomorrow?”

“No, I should really wall myself off. If I talk to you tomorrow, I might snap at you again, but worse. Better if I just call you when it’s done.”

“Ah. Going down the rabbit hole is a classic study move that I’ve always been quite fond of. See, you’re even studying like me! I don’t need to take the test for you, you’ll be fine!”

“Will you still love me if I fail?”

“Absolutely. I’ll make you a special dunce cap that says ‘ _Smartest failure ever_ ’ and every time we go out, my default ice-breaker when talking to strangers will be to tell them how my boyfriend is the smartest person ever to fail the SATs and live the life of a non-Temple-graduate literary bum.”

Jess laughed loudly, “Well good, as long as I get a cool hat out of it.”

“The coolest,” Rory smiled. “I love you. Good luck, Jess. Call me as soon as you’re done. You’ll be great, I promise.”

“Thanks, I will. I love you Ror.”

About half an hour after hanging up with Rory, just as Jess was getting his head back into the study game, Matt knocked on his door softly before entering with his hands up. “Don’t kill me,” he pleaded.

“You’ve got ten seconds,” Jess smirked. “What’s up?”

“There’s a gentleman downstairs, says he’s here to see you.”

“A ‘gentleman’? Tell him I’m all for equality in love, but I’m not interested. See if any of the other guys are interested in being sloppy seconds.”

“Gross. The dude’s like, sixty.”

“Well then I definitely don’t want him,”

“Jess, quit being an ass, would you? The guy’s all decked out in a bowtie and shit. Whatever he’s here for, I don’t think he’s looking to yuk it up. He says he needs to talk to you.”

Jess’ head shot up from his notes. “A bowtie? How old did you say he looked?”

“Around sixty,” Matt answered. “Big guy too. Like, six feet tall probably.”

“Wha– … Um, did he say what his name was?”

“Richard Gilmore, I think. Hey, isn’t ‘Gilmore’ Rory’s last name?”

“Yeah, it is.” Jess ran a hand through his hair, suddenly missing the length he used to tug at when he was nervous.

“Do you still want me to send him away?”

“No, no. Don’t send him away. I’ll come down with you.”

Matt went ahead and Jess lagged behind him slowly, trying to calm himself down and stop his mind from spinning. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what Richard Gilmore might be doing at Truncheon. Normally, something like this would instantly make him worry about Rory, but he’d just spoken to her. There was also the fact that Connecticut was three hours away –whatever Richard was doing in Philadelphia, stopping in at Truncheon wasn’t his only errand. Jess felt his hands get cold and sweaty as he suddenly realized he hadn’t seen Richard since the wedding. Three weeks earlier, Jess was cool as a cucumber, telling Rory that her grandfather was a decent guy who was only trying to protect her and that he never would have gotten in the way of their relationship like her grandmother did. It looked like the fates were about to test his theory.

Jess stalled halfway down the stairs and signaled to Matt to go on down. Matt went down without a peep and went straight back to his desk without signaling Richard Gilmore, who was standing in front of a painting, totally engrossed.

Jess smirked as he saw that it was the same untitled piece Luke was so flustered by at the open house last winter. Sticking his hands in his pockets, Jess rocked back on his heels once, twice. “Mr. Gilmore?”

Richard turned around. “Hello, Jess. It’s nice to see you,” he said sincerely, though he knew better than to attempt a smile. “I’m terribly sorry to drop in like this and give you such a shock.”

“Oh, nah. It’s okay,” Jess paused. “Is everything alright, Mr. Gilmore?”

“Yes. Yes, everything’s fine. May I speak to you… privately?” Richard asked, almost sheepishly.

“Sure, of course. I have an apartment upstairs, why don’t you come on up?”

“Yes, alright.”

Jess slowly led the way upstairs, even more baffled by Richard’s presence than he was just moments ago. “Sorry the place is a mess,” he said as he opened his apartment door, “but uh, I wasn’t expecting company. I know that sounds a lot less convincing when you’re not watching a movie, like it’s the most benign thing that a real person would never say, but I really wasn’t.”

“Don’t be silly,” Richard assured him. “It’s fine.”

“Can I get you anything? I don’t have much, but do you want some water? Or, I could make coffee?”

“Oh no, thank you. I’m quite all right. I won’t take up much of your time. May I sit?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Richard settled into Jess’ leather armchair and Jess sat down on his tiny couch. He waited patiently for Richard to tell him what he was doing there.

“Jess,” Richard said slowly, “I would like to apologize.”

“Apologize, sir?”

“For my wife’s –for Emily’s behaviour at Lorelai and Luke’s wedding reception. The way she spoke to you, the things she said about you… she shouldn’t have said them.”

“Really, Mr. Gilmore, you don’t have to –”

“Yes I do. Everyone is entitled to have their opinions about people Jess, it is Emily’s prerogative to decide that you are no better than the seventeen-year-old who once dined at our house with a black eye,”

“She told you about that, huh?” Jess asked, embarrassed.

“Yes, she did. Anyway, it is her prerogative to assume that who you were then and who you are now are no different. It was wrong of her, however, to make such a scene in a public forum –one that I’m sure she knew would have disastrous consequences.  
             
“My wife is very hard-headed, you see Jess and once she’s made up her mind about someone, there’s no changing it. She also stops at nothing to see to it that things –and people- do, behave and are exactly as she wants them to be. She intervenes where she should not, in ways that tend to reflect very poorly on her and our whole family suffers.” Richard stopped to let out a sigh. “I understand her outburst had some rather lasting negative effects on your relationship with Rory.”

Jess had difficulty breathing, even just at the recalled memory of that painful time apart. “Yeah,” he chuckled bitterly, “you could say that.”

“The two of you did make amends though, did you not?”

“Yeah, after about a month, we did.”

“Is that where she was for the second half of the summer? Here, with you?”

Jess felt himself blush, suddenly horrified at the idea of this conversation taking a turn for the _How-dare-you-take-advantage-of-my-granddaughter_ variety. He really didn’t want to be getting some weird talk about moral virtues from his girlfriend’s grandfather.

Finally, when he was able to find his words, he said, “Yeah, she was here with me for about five weeks. We, uh… we’d been planning for her to spend the time that Lorelai and Luke were away on their honeymoon here with me. But with the fight we had at the wedding, we weren’t even speaking –I mean we didn’t figure everything out, we didn’t patch stuff up until like a week after Luke and Lorelai had left.”

Richard let out another sigh, and Jess was shocked to realize that it sounded like a sigh of relief. “Jess, I am very glad that you and Rory managed to work through what I’m sure was not an insignificant complication to your relationship.”

“‘Insignificant’ it definitely was not, you’re right about that.”

“Jess, I’m not just here to offer you an apology for Emily’s behaviour. I also owe you an apology for the way I treated you when we were conversing over drinks that night in the library. I knowingly backed you into a corner; I forced you to admit your lack of education.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“You probably felt like I was trying to convince you that you aren’t good enough for Rory.”

“Yes, you did give off that very distinct and unsubtle impression,” Jess said tersely.

Richard grimaced. “I’m sorry, Jess.”

“Why exactly did you do that, Mr. Gilmore?” Jess asked boldly.

“Pardon me?”

“Back me into a corner like that? You and I were getting along fine, talking about books, talking about Rory, and talking about my business. Why did you suddenly change tacks and come at me? You told me before I left that room that you believed Rory wouldn’t have found her way back to Yale if it weren’t for me –so it doesn’t seem like you doubt the fact that I love her. Do you?”

“No, absolutely not. I know you love her, Jess.”

“Do you think that I would try to hold her back, or keep her close to me at the cost of her dreams? Are you worried that I’d make her sacrifice her ambitions for this relationship?”

“Based on what little I know of you, Jess, I highly doubt you would.”

“Well then, why?”

“Jess,” Richard took a deep breath before continuing, “you must understand that to me, Rory will always be my little granddaughter. I protect her, I guide her –I always have. I’ve seen other… suitors come in and out of her life. Somehow, someway, no matter how minutely, they always tried to change her… make her into something she wasn’t. Sometimes, the affect they had on her was something I was blind to, because they changed her in ways that are more in accordance to what I’m accustomed to. But in the end, regardless of my happiness due to naïve shortsightedness, Rory always seemed to suffer.”

Jess stifled a bitter laugh. He wondered if Richard knew that Jess knew the men he was talking about. Probably not. He wished he could chime in with his thoughts about the men in question, but he just stayed quiet.

After a brief pause, Richard continued. “My wife warned me about you, Jess –repeatedly. I will admit that it coloured my impression of you a little. But when we started conversing the first thing that struck me is that you are nothing like what I was expecting. You’re smart, you’re sharp and you have a good head on your shoulders. You’re not naïve to the way the world works. You’re determined to make something out of yourself, you refuse to be defined or limited by your humble, wayward beginnings.

“Your friends gave me a small tour of this place when I first arrived, before I asked to speak with you. This is a remarkable place Jess. It’s positively buzzing with young, fresh energy. What you and your friends are doing here is truly amazing. You’ve got your finger on the pulse of a literary, artistic niche and it’s remarkable. Truly inspired.”

Jess looked at Richard with wide eyes, completely unprepared to receive such stunning compliments. “Thank you –thank you sir, very much,” he said thickly.

“I know you love my granddaughter, Jess. Truth be told, from what we spoke about before the wedding and how candid you were with me, and now seeing this…. I’m confident that you are, in fact, the best person for her. You bring out the best in her, it seems. You don’t expect or want for her to be anyone other than who she is.”

Jess stared at his hands and tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

“I know an apology from me does not absolve my wife of responsibility for her poor behaviour. No apology from me can make up for the pain both you and Rory were put through as a result of Emily’s ill-timed outburst. Nonetheless, I am sorry.”

“Thank you, that means a lot to hear,”

“I’m sure you know that Rory has spoken to us very little since this whole unfortunate incident occurred. Lorelai and Luke have even been distant.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jess said.

“I am not here to beg, Jess. It’s unmanly and unbecoming,” Richard said firmly. “You certainly owe me nothing, I know that. But… I miss my granddaughter, Jess. I miss my family. They’re right there, but they’re not. A man should never beg, but it is a man’s job to try to keep his family together.”

Jess was surprised to look at Richard and see him blush scarlet red. His chin even quivered a little.

“Rory hasn’t talked to you about…” Jess stopped himself, “about anything?”

“No. She speaks little more than niceties, I’m afraid.”

“Look, Mr. Gilmore, I can’t get Rory to talk to you if she’s not ready or she doesn’t want to. I know all of this tension in the family has been really hard on her and I’m trying to help her through it.

“I’m used to being mad at everyone around me –I’m used to having no one to turn to; in fact, the whole idea of having a real family, chosen or made, that I can actually rely on is a pretty new phenomenon in the life of me.  
  
“Believe me when I say that Rory is having a hard time too, sir. It isn’t easy for her to be upset with you. But I can’t force her to mend her relationship with you if she’s not ready. I have been encouraging her to –to talk to you. But I can’t make her do something she doesn’t want to do. I can’t force her to talk to you before she’s ready.”

Richard sighed heavily. “Thank you, Jess. I greatly appreciate the efforts you’ve made.”

“She’ll come around sir,” Jess offered gently. “I know she will.”

“Thank you, for –” Richard faltered. “For loving her, Jess. And please accept my deepest apologies for all of the pain and damage her grandmother and I have caused you. Emily will never say as much, but someone ought to.”

Jess swallowed hard and nodded his head. “Thank you sir. You have –you have no idea what it means to hear you say that.”

“Please dispense with the formalities, call me Richard.”

“Okay.”

“Anyway, I suppose I’ve taken up enough of your time. I have a business meeting this evening that I must prepare for,” Richard stood slowly and stretched before moving towards the door. He noticed the notes and books strewn all over Jess’ bed. “Are you working on something?”

“What?” Jess saw what he was staring at. “Oh, no. Studying.”

“Studying?”

“Yeah, I’m… I’m taking the SATs in two days,” Jess said, his voice cracking slightly. “I’m hoping to get into Temple University in the fall, they have a really good English Lit program.”

Richard smiled. “Are you hoping to do the accelerated program and get your Bachelor’s and Master’s without reapplying?”

“I like that that’s an option, yeah. It’s one of the things that drew me to it, but I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet. I need to pass the SATs and get in first,” Jess chuckled.

“I have no doubt that you’ll do just fine.”

“Yeah, but the university needs to see my high school transcripts regardless of the fact that I got my GED. I’m kinda worried that they’re gonna see I’m a flunky and laugh me out of the admissions interview. If I even get one….”

“Oh, balderdash, of course you’ll get an interview. The fact that you didn’t finish high school hardly eclipses the accomplishments you’ve achieved since then. I daresay that the admissions committee will be _more_ impressed by everything you’ve accomplished, given what you had to rise above in order to do it.”

“You think?”

“I absolutely do,” Richard nodded. “The life you have here Jess, what you’ve contributed to the creation of Truncheon Books is nothing to turn one’s nose up at. It is a very unlikely path to success for anyone, even someone who did everything right. The fact that you’ve done it while having to overcome no shortage of adversity is truly remarkable. It will not go unnoticed.”

“Thank you, Mr. –Richard. Richard,” Jess stammered, trying to get used to the name on his tongue.

“When do you write the tests? Apply for school?”

“Thursday. I’ll be applying to Temple by the end of February.”

“I wish you the best of luck, Jess. I’m sure you’ll succeed greatly on both counts. I do hope this rough patch with the family blows over, it would be nice to have you over to dinner sometime if you –oh well, I suppose you wouldn’t like that. Too stuffy for a young man like you, huh?”

“I’m sure there are worse ways to spend the odd evening, than to have dinner with you,” Jess said, surprised that he meant it. “I promise, no black eyes.”

Richard laughed, “Ah, splendid. Listen, not that it would ever, but as far as Emily knows, I –”

“You were never here. I never saw you. Heck, I only met you that one time, so I wouldn’t know you to pass you on the street,” Jess winked. “Thanks for stopping by, Richard,” he said, extending his hand.

* * *

Two days later, Jess walked into Truncheon after writing his SATs to find Chris, Andrew, Matt and Joe laughing hysterically.

“….and then he stuck a forkful of that gross stuff in his mouth. He barely knew me, he had no idea that I am so hopeless when it comes to making food, I could mess up the simple act of boiling water.”

“Jess! Just in time! Rory’s telling us about the time she almost poisoned you with a picnic basket from hell,” Andrew laughed.

“Rory? What are you doing here?” Jess said in surprise, running to her and hugging her so tightly he lifted her off the ground.

“I figured you could use a surprise of the good kind, now that your big tests are out of the way,” Rory smiled warmly.  
  
“You have no idea how happy am to see you,” Jess whispered, hugging her tighter and showering kisses across her shoulder and up her neck.

“Okay, easy there tiger. Take it upstairs,” Chris teased.

Jess smiled a devilish grin at Rory and picked her up suddenly, throwing her over his shoulder like a delicate sack of potatoes.

Rory squealed and laughed, “What about your books? I was talking to your friends, you know…”

“My books aren’t going anywhere. And would you rather talk to my friends or have hot sex with me? You’re the one who made the surprise visit…” Jess felt Rory’s body go slightly slack as she remained bent over his shoulder. He felt her skin become hot to the touch through her jeans as he held her legs. He smirked triumphantly. “Just as I thought.”

As they lay in bed later, Jess started absent-mindedly playing with strands of Rory’s long hair. He hadn’t told her about Richard’s unexpected visit to Truncheon and even though they’d had a very pleasant and positive conversation, Jess wasn’t ready to tell her yet –he was still processing everything. Since talking to Richard though, something was bothering him and he couldn’t stop himself from delicately broaching the subject. “Hey, Ror?”

Rory looked up at him “Yeah?”

“Have you talked to your grandfather yet, about writing for Hugo Gray?”

Rory sighed against Jess’ chest. “No,” she admitted, embarrassed.

“Rory, we talked about this weeks ago,” Jess said, keeping his tone light. “Why wouldn’t you? Are you scared… like you’re afraid you don’t know how to talk to him anymore?”  
             
“Maybe? I don’t know, Jess. I want to tell him, I do. I just –”

“Rory, listen. You have to talk to your grandfather sometime. I know not talking to him is hard for you; I know not talking to him is much harder than it is for you to ignore your grandmother.”

“It really is,” Rory sighed heavily.

“Luke once told me sometimes the people who are in most need of forgiveness would never, ever ask for it because they don’t feel like they deserve it. The forgiveness has to be given, freely.”  
  
Rory looked at Jess quizzically, “When on earth did Luke give you that little pearl of wisdom?”

Jess held Rory’s gaze intently and held her face surely in his palm, letting his fingers massage her scalp at her hairline, running his thumb lovingly against her cheek.

“Oh,” Rory whispered, suddenly afraid to look Jess in the eye.

But he kept holding her face lovingly, unwilling to let her escape. He leaned in slowly and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead, letting his lips linger on her skin. “You really should tell him Rory. I bet he misses you; I bet you giving him the silent treatment is just as hard on him as it is on you to not be talking to him.

“Have you written your first piece yet?”

“Yeah, I decided to go with my idea about the political climate among young voters.”

“Rory,” Jess said gently. “That sounds like it might be something that’s right up his alley. He’d love to hear about this opportunity you’ve been given –and he’ll love the piece you chose as your first. I can see how this is torturing you, Ror. It’s weighing on you; I know it is. I know how much you love your grandfather and I know how much he –” Jess faltered; catching himself, “I know how much you’ve missed him. Based on how much you miss him, I can only imagine how much he misses you.

“Listen, when it comes to your grandmother, be as mad as you like for as long as you like. I’m not ashamed to say that I still hate her a little for what she did. But you and I have talked about how your grandfather would never have messed with us, or tried so pointedly to tear us apart the way your grandmother did.

“I told you before –he knows that what happened at the wedding was a disaster. Even if he was only a bystander in the whole mess, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel responsible. Even if he’s never even hinted at it, he knows he’s not entirely blameless. You need to forgive him Rory; _you_ need to forgive _him_. He’ll never ask for it because a small part of him thinks that he might not deserve it.”

Rory hugged Jess tightly against her and cried quietly. “You’re right –I knew you were right two weeks ago, but for some reason I can’t –I mean I want to, I _really_ do, but I just –for some reason I can’t. Everything you’re saying is right, Jess. I love my Grandpa and I don’t want to lose the relationship I have with him.”

“So, don’t let yourself lose him, Rory. He’s your grandfather; you know he’ll always love you. But he feels he’s done wrong by you, seriously enough that he’ll never _ask_ for your forgiveness. You need to give it to him Rory, free and clear of any strings, simply because you love him. Forgiveness isn’t given because someone deserves it; forgiveness is given because someone needs it.”

* * *

A few weeks later, within the first days of February, Jess was anxiously awaiting the results of his SATs when his phone rang one Wednesday evening as he was returning from community college. His caller ID displayed Rory’s number. “Hey you,” he said warmly. “I’m just walking into Truncheon, can I give you a call right back once I get upstairs to my –Rory, what’s wrong? Rory, just take a deep breath and try to slow down. What’s wrong? ... What happened? … What?  ...  Oh my God, a myocardial what? When? … Oh Jesus Rory, I’m so sorry… Which hospital did they take him to? John Skinner? Yeah, I know of it. Text me the address …  I need to throw a few things in an overnight bag and I’ll be on the road to Connecticut within a half hour. Are Luke and Lorelai there with you? … Well, sit tight, I’m sure they won’t be long … Rory, come on baby, I know you’re scared but you won’t be there by yourself much longer; don’t cry, please, baby. I promise I’ll be there as soon as I can … I love you Rory, I’ll see you soon.”

Jess’ hands shook like leaves as he haphazardly gathered a few changes of clothes and stuffed them in his overnight bag and grabbed essential toiletries from the bathroom. He grabbed his keys, his cellphone and his laptop and was racing back down the stairs ten minutes after hanging up with Rory.

“Whoa dude, where’s the fire?” Joe teased

“Rory’s grandfather had a heart attack. I gotta go to Connecticut, _now_.”

“Shit. Is he gonna be okay?”

“I don’t know. Rory was alone with him when he collapsed and she’s at the hospital by herself right now. She’s called her mom and Luke and they’ll be there soon, but she’s freaking out. I gotta go man,” Jess said frantically. “I’ll probably be gone at least a few days. I’m gonna email my profs at school and do as much work by correspondence as I can for at least a few days but I –I have to be with her right _now_ , Joe.”

“Of course. She needs you and it’s where you should be.”

“Listen, I have my laptop and my cell so I can work on Truncheon stuff from there, but do you think you guys can cover my in-office duties for two or three days?”

“Of course. Whatever you need, Jess. I really hope he’s okay. Give Rory love from me and the rest of the guys.”

“I will. Thanks man, I owe you one.”

“You owe me nothing,” Joe said with a nonchalant wave of his wrist. “Go be with Rory, she needs you. We’ve got your back. If there’s anything we can do, let us know, okay?”

“Thanks. I’ll check in in a few days.”  
             
With that, Jess was out the door. He broke several speed limits to get to Connecticut as soon as possible. He spent most of the drive praying that highway patrols were light. The last thing he needed right now was to get pulled over and cited for speeding.

Jess was panicked –scared of the situation he might be arriving to when he got to the hospital. “I just saw him; he was just here. He was fine,” he mumbled over and over as he drove.


	30. Chapter 30

“I’m so very glad you called, Rory. I’m even gladder that you wanted to see me,” Richard said sincerely as they walked past the statue of Handsome Dan, both of them patting a paw absentmindedly.

“Yeah, I’m… I’m sorry about that Grandpa.”

“I feel as though I’m the one who ought to be sorry, not you Rory.”

“But Grandpa, you –you didn’t have anything to do with –you didn’t do anything,” Rory stammered gently.

“Precisely. I could see what was about to happen before –I should have done more to stop it. And I’m not entirely blameless. I had my own hand in making Jess feel –uncomfortable.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore Grandpa. Jess and I put that whole weekend behind us.”

“And I am very glad you did.”

“You are?”

“Yes, of course I am,” Richard assured her. “I know you have reason to believe otherwise. I’m sure he told you about our conversation in the library…”

“Yeah he did.”

“Well, I was at fault for that blunder, not him. Rory, please do believe me,” Richard stopped walking and took a gentle hold of Rory’s shoulder, to look her in the eye, “Jess is a fine young man. I have no doubt that he loves you very much. I’m hard pressed to believe anyone is good enough for you, but he gives that belief a run for its money.”

Rory blushed, but it had nothing to do with the cold. “Really?”

“Really. I am terribly sorry for this mess, Rory.”

“It’s okay.”

“It isn’t, but I appreciate that you would say so. Listen, I understand that you are in no hurry to be rushing into your grandmother’s arms –”

“Grandpa, can we not talk about –”

“And that is quite alright. You come around in your own good time. You’ll certainly not be pressured by me.”

Rory’s chin quivered with emotion and she reached underneath Richard’s arms to hug him tightly. “I’ve missed you Grandpa. I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too, dear Rory,” Richard said quietly, hugging her back. “But there’s no need to miss me. We’re both here now, right?”

“Right,” Rory reluctantly let go of her grandfather. “Do you want to get an early dinner? I haven’t eaten at Branford in a while…”

“Yes, I do believe that would be marvelous!” Richard offered Rory his arm as they walked through the snowy campus toward the dining hall.  
  
When they sat down with their food, Rory took a deep breath. “Grandpa, I actually have something to tell you.”

“Oh?”

“It’s good news, really good.”

“Well, do not keep me in such suspense! Tell me!”

“Well, I –before Christmas, I got an email from someone named Hugo Gray. Logan gave him my email, actually –”

Richard stopped cutting his meat loaf and looked Rory right in the eye, “Isn’t Logan in London?”  
             
“Yeah, he is. It’s not what you think. He –it’s a good thing Grandpa, like a peace offering, I think.”

“He’s not using this as a ploy to –”

“No! And anyway, even if he was, it would never work. I’m in love with Jess, end of story,” Rory said firmly.

Richard smiled and nodded for her to continue. “So what of this Hugo Gray, then?”

“He emailed me, explaining how he’d gotten my contact information. He told me that Logan pointed him to me if he was ever in need of a really good writer. He runs an online magazine, Grandpa. He asked me to send him some of my writing. I just wrote my first piece for him.”

“Rory! That is wonderful! Oh, I am so proud of you! What did you write about?” Richard asked, beaming.

“The political climate among young voters, what it would take to really get my generation involved –if not passionate- in understanding politics and why it’s important to not only cast a ballot, but to know what you’re casting a ballot for.”

“My goodness, not small potatoes, eh? Straight to the hard-hitting stuff!”

“It’s the hard hitting stuff that matters, I’m not interested in making a name for myself on puff pieces.”

“Nor should you be. Well, to you, my brilliant granddaughter. May this be the beginning in a long and bright journalistic career,” Richard said, raising his cup of water. “If only Mitchum Huntzberger could see you now,” he winked.

Rory laughed freely and happily clinked her cup with Richard’s.

When Richard was in the midst of swallowing his water, he started to cough.

“Grandpa, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m –” Richard stammered as he continued to cough, swallowing with some difficulty. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? You don’t look okay,” Rory said, concerned.

Richard struggled to catch his breath and started to feel as though his collar was strangling him. When he was midway through reaching up to undo the top button on his shirt, he suddenly clutched his left arm. In a snap, Richard’s pallor had turned white as a sheet and he started sweating. “Rory…” he heard himself say, as if he were overhearing someone else from very far way.

“Grandpa!” Rory screamed as Richard collapsed off his chair and hit the ground with a great, heavy thud.

People in Branford stopped, stared, gasped and whispered.

“Don’t just stand there! Someone call 9-1-1!” Rory pleaded through her tears.

* * *

“Excuse me, Miss. Is that your phone?” A woman gently nudged Rory’s back to get her attention from the seat behind her in the waiting room of John Skinner Medical Centre.   
  
“Um, sorry,” Rory said to the woman before answering her phone. “H-hello?”  
             
“Hey,” Lorelai said. “Luke and I are here. Where are you?”   
             
“I'm here. I'm in the waiting room.”  
             
“Ah, okay. We must be in the wrong waiting room.”  
             
“I'm not in the E.R. anymore, I'm in the cardiac intensive-care unit, the C.I.C.U.”  
             
“That's where we are, I think. First floor?”  
             
“First floor.”

“Tell her there’s a red stripe on the floor,” Luke whispered to Lorelai.

“Why are you whispering?”

“I don’t know. I thought we were supposed to, isn’t it more polite to whisper in hospitals?”

“Only if you’re afraid of sick people,” Lorelai teased, rolling her eyes. “Here, you tell her about the red stripe. Feel free to use your grown up voice!”  
             
Luke sighed and took the phone from Lorelai. “Hi, Rory? There's a red stripe on the floor.”  
             
“It's kind of orange here,” Rory answered, inspecting the floor closely.  
             
“Orange?” Luke asked.  
             
“Reddish-orange, so maybe.”  
             
“Well yeah maybe orangey red.”

“The lights make it look more red,” Lorelai said just as they turned the corner and saw Rory. “Hi Hun,” she said as they embraced.  
             
“Hey,” Rory sighed deeply and moved to hug Luke. Stepping back, she said, “Um, they're doing tests, so that's where he is –blood tests and another E.K.G. They did an E.K.G. In the ambulance, but I guess they're still trying to determine how much damage was actually caused by the heart attack. But that's definitely what it was. It was a myocardial infarction, which is a heart attack. And I guess the E.K.G. tells them how bad the blockage of his arteries is and what degree of coronary-artery disease he has, or C.A.D., as they're calling it, because, apparently, everything is –what do you call it? An anagram? What's the thing with the letters? Acronym! The C.A.D., C.I.C.U., the E.K.G.” When Rory spoke again after she’d caught her breath, her voice was small, “Mom, it was awful. He just fell down.”  
             
Luke stood in front of Rory and Lorelai and reached to wrap an arm around them both. “It's gonna be okay,” he assured them.

About half an hour later, Rory was growing restless and told Lorelai and Luke she was going to look for snacks.  
             
“Grandma's on her way. I didn't talk to her, but the girl at the club said she’s en route,” Lorelai said when she got back.  
             
“I keep thinking this is all just a nightmare,” Rory laid her tired head on her mother’s shoulder.  
             
“I know,” Lorelai said, reaching to give Luke’s hand a squeeze.  
             
“But it’s not.”  
             
“No I mean it's a nightmare but not a nightmare, nightmare. I know ‘cause I have shoes on. In my nightmares, I never am wearing shoes.”  
             
Luke couldn’t stifle a tiny chuckle. “Really? I didn’t know that.”  
             
“Yeah, yeah, It’s the worst thing in the dream, too, always,” she said, turning to look at Luke. “I could be chased by snakes or in a nuclear explosion, but then I look down, and, ‘Oh, my God! I'm not wearing shoes!’”  
             
Suddenly, a doctor appeared in front of the three of them. “Gilmore?”  
             
Luke stood up first, followed by Lorelai and Rory. “Yes.”  
             
“Hi. I’m Dr. Goldstein. You're Richard Gilmore's family?”  
             
“Yes, he’s my father-in-law. This is my wife Lorelai, his daughter and her daughter Rory.”

“Is he going to be okay?” Lorelai asked.  
             
“He's doing alright,” Dr. Goldstein answered. “He’s conscious and not in significant pain now.”  
             
Rory let out a massive sigh. “Oh, good.”  
             
“We just sent him to the cath lab to get an angiogram. After that, we should be able to get a better sense of what kind of blockage is around his heart. And then we'll figure out where to go from there.”  
             
“Like where –where would we go?” Lorelai asked.  
             
“Pardon?”  
             
“What she’s asking is what this means, doctor. What would the next steps be, based on what you find –based on what the tests tell you,” Luke clarified.  
             
“Well, if the blockage is more serious, we will have to consider an emergency bypass surgery.”  
             
“Okay.”  
             
“I promise to let you know as soon as we get the results from the cath lab. Try not to worry.”  
             
“No, no, not worried,” Lorelai said quickly. “Just normal amount of worried, you know for someone whose father’s had a heart attack, but not excessively worried.”  
             
“Okay,” Dr. Goldstein said patiently. “I'll see you in a little bit.”

“Lorelai, come on,” Luke said soothingly, “let’s sit back down.”

Before they could sit back down, Emily appeared. “Have you seen him?”  
             
“Hi, Mom,” Lorelai said with a sigh.  
             
“Oh no, not since he was in the E.R.,” Rory answered.  
             
“Where is he?” Emily asked, barely looking Rory in the eye.  
             
“The doctor came out and said he's in the cath lab, getting an angiogram. He’s gonna let us know when he’s done,” Luke offered  
             
Emily dismissed him. “Nonsense.”   
             
“Oh no, it's true. He said he would come back when he had the results,” Luke tried again. All three of them hurried to follow her as she walked off.  
             
“I'm Emily Gilmore. And I would like to see my husband,” Emily said to the nurse at the nurse’s station.  
             
“What is your husband's name?” the nurse asked pleasantly.  
             
“Gilmore! Richard Gilmore! I'm his wife, and I would like to see him now.”  
             
“I’m sorry he’s in the cath lab right now getting an angiogram. But the doctor will come find you as soon as they're done.”  
             
“There's no need to be cheery about it,” Emily said tersely.  
             
“I didn’t mean –”  
             
“Honestly someone with your chipper personality ought to be a weather girl or a preschool teacher.”  
             
Lorelai caught her mother by the shoulders and managed to steer her back to the chairs in the waiting area, mouthing an apology to the nurse.  
             
“What happened to all the competent people? That's what I'd like to know. Was there some giant hole they all fell into or a virus that struck them all down, leaving the morons of the world to sit behind the desks?” Emily asked no one in particular. “Is it too much to expect the most perfunctory level of competence from the people with whom I interact? Even at the club, I’m telling you the young men and women that work there must have a combined I.Q. of a grapefruit. My husband has a heart attack, and how long does it take them to find me? Forty minutes. The nitwit probably got lost between the front desk and the tennis courts.”  
             
“I’m sorry Grandma, that sounds terrible,” Rory said.  
             
“I mean, none of this would have been a problem if I’d been allowed to keep my cell phone,” Emily continued, “but no, cell phones have been banned allegedly because of noise pollution. Well if that's the reason, they should ban John Abbott. Because I’m telling you every time that man hits a ball, he grunts like a rutting hog. I mean, he's twice as loud as my cell phone. And they won't even let you leave your cell phone on vibrate. It’s preposterous.

“What is _he_ doing here?” Emily asked Rory –the first thing she’s bothered to say directly to her granddaughter.

Rory’s head snapped up when she heard her grandmother address her. She followed Emily’s icy gaze to see Jess standing silently in front of all of them. “How did you get here so –Jess? I called you less than three hours ago,” Rory chocked out as her throat closed up.

Jess stayed rooted in the spot where he stood, not wanting to shatter the family bubble with his presence. “Broke a lot of speed limits,” he shrugged.  
  
“In this weather?” Luke asked

“I have really good snow tires,” Jess assured him.

Lorelai stood up from her seat next to Rory and went over to hug Jess and lead him over to where they were waiting –bringing him inside the family bubble.

Rory sat frozen in shock that he’d arrived so fast. She was vaguely aware that she should have been the one to go over and hug him. They locked eyes just as Jess was pulling back from hugging Lorelai. Rory and Jess both felt like they hadn’t seen each other in years –though it had only been about a week and a half.

Jess stopped in front of Rory’s chair and instantly squatted down to meet her eyes. He took both her hands from where they rested, limp and lifeless in her lap and intertwined their fingers, holding them strongly in his own until the warmth of his palms broke through the chill in her skin. “Rory,” he whispered as he pulled her into a fierce embrace, “I’m so sorry you had to deal with this alone. I got here as fast as I could. How’s he doing?”

“She’s not alone, Jess. We –her family- have been here for quite some time,” Emily said haughtily.

Jess clenched his jaw and released it, determined not to be talked down to or scared off by Emily Gilmore. Yes, he was still mad at her, but Richard’s heart attack was bigger than all of that. Sometimes, there are moments in life that are bigger than hatred; the grandfather of your true love unexpectedly collapsing from a heart attack is one of those moments when any decent human being should be able to easily forgive the drama of the past and focus on what really matters. Jess made up his mind to be one of those people as soon as he dashed out the door to be by Rory’s side. He only hoped that Emily would look deep down inside herself and realize that she did in fact have the capability to be that decent. He believed that she would realize it, before this whole ordeal was over.

“Mrs. Gilmore,” Jess turned to her and spoke very gently and soothingly. “Did you know that Rory was alone with Mr. Gilmore when he collapsed? They were having dinner together at Branford Hall on the Yale campus. Everyone in the dining hall was so shocked she had to yell at them to get someone to call 9-1-1. The guy who did make the call was _so_ shocked, he couldn’t explain what was going on even though it was happening right in front of his face. Rory had to take the phone from him, explain that your husband was having a heart attack and arrange for an ambulance to transport him here. She rode in that ambulance with him, alone –terrified, shocked and alone, unwilling to leave his side. She was here by herself for what –forty-five minutes, Lorelai?- before Luke and your daughter could get here.

“For the first little while, for what were some of the scariest parts of this whole thing, Rory was alone. I don’t think it is at all inappropriate for me to express my concern for how scared she must have been –for how scared she must still be.

“This must be frightening for you too, Mrs. Gilmore. I understand this isn’t the first time Mr. Gilmore has had a heart attack. I’m so very sorry. I don’t know him well, but your husband is a fighter, Mrs. Gilmore. I’m sure he’ll pull through.”

For the first time since he’d known her, Emily looked at Jess with something other than contempt. It almost seemed like it was a look of gratitude. But as soon as he noticed it, it was gone and she was glowering once more –though surprisingly not _at him_.

 Hearing Jess say all these things made everything hit Rory like a ton of bricks; she was on the verge of crying freely for the first time since Richard had collapsed. Hugging Jess to her tighter still, she held the collar of his shirt in a vice grip as tears started to tumble down her cheeks. “I was so scared Jess, he just fell down.”

“Shh, I know. I’m here now and I’m not leaving until we know what’s going on –until he’s out of the woods, okay?” He pulled back slightly to kiss her forehead and then press her face tightly against his chest.

“But Jess, you can’t. What about school? You can’t just skip the rest of the week.”

“I emailed my profs from a rest stop on the road. I told them there was a family emergency. It’s Wednesday evening, I told them not to expect me back until next week. I’ve heard back from a few of them already; they understand that this is where I need to be. I’ll do my work for the rest of the week via email. I’m staying here until Sunday afternoon. I don’t want to hear anything more about it, okay? It’s done. There’s nowhere I need to be other than right here with you.”  
  
Dr. Golstein reappeared and turned to Emily. “Are you Mr. Gilmore’s wife?”  
             
“I’m Emily Gilmore,” she confirmed.  
             
“Good. I'm glad you're here. The blockage is worse than we'd hoped. I think the best course of action –really the only course of action- is to do an emergency bypass surgery.”  
             
“Open-heart surgery?” Lorelai asked desperately.  
             
“Let him finish, Lorelai,” Emily said, emotionless.  
             
“We’d like to go into surgery as soon as possible. So now would be the time if you’d like to visit him.”  
             
“Yes, yeah, we'd like to see him,” Rory said meekly. She was afraid that if it weren’t for Jess’ arm, strongly interlocked with her own from where he now sat beside her, she might not be able to keep breathing.  
             
“If you'll follow me please,” Dr. Golstien led the five of them down a few different hallways to Richard’s room.

Emily walked in time with the doctor, peppering him with questions about where he received his education –Yale undergrad, Harvard med, quite satisfactory indeed. Lorelai and Luke walked a few paces behind them while Rory and Jess brought up the rear, arms, hands and fingers remaining intertwined; they walked in silence and Jess could feel that the arm and hand he was holding were trembling. It was a terrified kind of trembling –Rory was very shaken; she felt to Jess like a delicate bird under his touch.

When they reached Richard’s room, Jess stopped short. “You go on ahead Ror. I’ll wait out here,” he said softly.

“Why? Jess I –I need you in there, please,” Rory whispered emotionally.

Jess pulled her close and cupped her cheek delicately in his hand. “I’ll be right out here the whole time. It’s just –I don’t think me going in there is the best idea, with your grandmother and everything. I want to go in there with you, I do. But your grandfather is her husband and I’m still not her favourite person. He’s her husband and out of respect for her, I think I should stay out here,” he said gently. “If it’s too much for you Ror, the second you get overwhelmed, I’ll be right outside this door. Just come right out and I’ll get you out of this hallway.”

Rory nodded silently.

Jess propped a finger under her chin. “I love you Rory. Be strong for your grandfather. It’s what he would want –it’s what he does want. I’m right out here if you need me. I’m not leaving you.”

Rory hugged Jess tightly, “I love you Jess, so much,” she said burying her face in his neck to muffle her sobs. Jess said nothing, he simply held her until she calmed. When she pulled back to offer him a weak smile, he pulled his sweater sleeve down over his hand and delicately wiped her tears, pecking her nose before she slowly walked into Richard’s hospital room.

Jess stood with his back against the wall, shielded from immediate view by the wide hospital room door, which was propped open. Closing his eyes, he let his head rest against the wall. Rogue tears escaped his eyes and fell silently down his cheeks. He simply let the salty water dry on his skin. So silent was his sadness, his fear and his pain that once they stopped flowing, there was no evidence that any tears had fallen at all. 

From where he stood, Jess could hear everyone conversing. He was glad that Richard sounded reasonably strong and in good spirits.

“This room is rather intimate,” Emily said disapprovingly.  
             
“It's just fine, Emily. I promise you,” Richard told her. “Now, Rory, I'm sorry I gave you a scare while we were dining this evening.”  
             
“No don’t be silly. I'm just glad you're okay. And you’re gonna be more okay after the surgery,” Rory said soothingly.  
             
“Thank you.”  
             
“Are you okay, Dad?” Lorelai asked. “I mean how are you feeling, considering everything? You look okay.”  
             
“Well all in all, I think I'd rather be in Philadelphia,” Richard sighed.

Upon hearing this, Jess chuckled quietly.  
             
“Ronald Reagan,” Rory said.

Jess heard her smile and it made him smile too.  
             
“Quoting W.C. Fields,” Richard clarified.  
             
“Oh, I didn't know that.”  
             
“It would be great now. Winter is a great time to see the Liberty Bell and the cream cheese. That's all I got on Philadelphia,” Lorelai said. “Oh, and the cheesesteaks –the Philly cheesesteaks.”  
             
“Yes, there is all that,” Richard said. “But you’re forgetting something. Someone very important to Rory also lives there. Jess is in Philadelphia –the city gets extra points for that, too.”

Jess smiled again and felt a lump rise in his throat. He shook it off, swallowed it and stayed quiet.

Luke smiled at hearing this. “It definitely gets extra points for that, Richard.”

Emily sighed, but said nothing. If Jess were in the room, he’d be surprised to know that she didn’t roll her eyes.

* * *

Once Richard was taken into surgery, Emily immediately busied herself with getting things in order –anything at all that needed organizing. She called her “fish guy” and ordered obscene amounts of all kinds of fish to be delivered to the mansion –knowing that it reduced the risk of another heart attack, it was all she planned to allow Richard to eat.

Lorelai was mildly horrified that Emily was having Richard’s will faxed to the hospital –it felt as though she were acting like Richard was definitely going to die. Emily dismissed her concerns, explaining that when Richard had his heart attack six years before, they were totally unprepared and that she and Richard had made a plan to make sure they wouldn’t be unprepared should it happen again –Emily was simply executing the plan.

Jess was sitting quietly with his arm around Rory when Emily suddenly turned to him. “Jess,” she said, rummaging in her purse and pulling out a set of keys, “I need you to drive to the Yale campus and pick up Richard's car.”  
             
“Grandma, you shouldn’t be asking him to do that,” Rory said.  
             
“No, it's no problem,” Jess said calmly.  
             
“I'm not exactly sure where it's parked, but it shouldn't be too hard to find. Check the faculty lot and wherever they have parking. It's a 2006 Jaguar. It's green. Oh, and I think it's a little low on gas, so if you wouldn't mind filling the tank on the way back to the house, that would be great.”  
             
“Okay, sure.”

“Grandma,” Rory said again.

“Really, Ror. It’s okay.” Jess leaned in close to whisper in her ear, “I’m just glad she notices me enough to give me something to do. If she really hated me, she wouldn’t bother,” he said, kissing her head before standing up to take the keys.

“Now, fill it with premium, not whatever sludge they try to pass off as regular,” Emily told him.  
             
“Premium, you got it.”  
             
“You do know how to drive a European car, don't you?”  
             
“Absolutely. Don’t worry,” Jess assured her.  
             
“There’s nothing to yank. It's a Jaguar, not a lawn mower,” Emily said sarcastically.

Rory stood up. “I think I’ll go to the house maybe, and get some of Grandpa’s things, so that he’s got some comforts from home around him when he gets out of surgery.” She turned to Jess, “When you bring Grandpa’s car, you can ride back here with me. You can just leave your car at Yale and I’ll drive you to campus to pick it up after…. everything’s done.”

“Sure, sounds good,” Jess said, taking Rory’s hand. “We should get going.”

“Jess?” Emily called after him when they started to leave.

“Yes, Mrs. Gilmore?” Jess answered.

“Thank you,” she said genuinely, but without any hint of a smile.

“My pleasure.”

* * *

Rory and Jess returned to the hospital with Richard’s chess set, some of his favourite vinyls and blankets, as well as a few changes of clothes for Emily. 

When Richard got out of surgery, at first they only let Emily in to see him; but when everyone else was given the okay as well, Jess was still reluctant to overstep by going in his room.

Seeing his hesitation, it was Emily who gave him the elusive blessing. “Really Jess,” she sighed, remaining neutral, “you can go in too. I’m sure Richard would be pleased to know you’re here –that you’ve been here all night, with Rory.”

Jess nodded. “Alright. Thank you, Mrs. Gilmore,” he said thickly.

Emily put a gentle hand on his shoulder before Jess shifted his weight to follow Rory into Richard’s room. “It’s Emily,” she said evenly before retreating her hand and disappearing down the hall to make more phone calls.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize I changed the context of Richard's heart attack a little and left his car in the faculty lot, as in canon. Not to worry, it'll all make sense when you read the next chapter.


	31. Chapter 31

His scores arrived while he was in Connecticut; when he saw the numbers, he was sure he was hallucinating. It took about a week to sink in. As Jess realized the date that was fast approaching, it didn’t take him long to hatch a plan.

“Hey Luke,” he said, balancing the phone on his shoulder.

“Hey, Jess,” Luke said, “how are you?”

“Good, busy. But good busy.”

“Ah, well, that’s good. Listen, you’ve been great through this whole thing; you really came through for Rory. Not just for Rory, but for everyone. If you weren’t here –if Rory didn’t have you… You really held it together. Even the way you were with Emily and Richard – _especially_ with them. You’ve been amazing. After what Emily put you two through, it takes a rare person to rise above the way you did.”

“Honestly? When Rory called me I didn’t hesitate. I wasn’t even thinking about the shit storm Emily caused us; it didn’t matter anymore. My mind was made up as soon as Rory uttered the words ‘heart attack’. Some things are just… bigger, you know? Yes, my primary concern was Rory. But I wasn’t _just_ there for Rory, Luke.”

“I know. I still can’t believe that you’re calling them Emily and Richard!”

“It’s weird, but good… I think –as long as they don’t go back to thinking I’m scum.”

“They won’t, I can guarantee it,” Luke assured him.

“Hey, Luke? Do you know why Rory and I chose tell you and Lorelai about us when we did?” Jess asked.

“No. There was a reason with the when?”

“Yeah. Rory had shown up at my door at four in the morning the week before, driving through the night after rushing to Logan’s bedside; he nearly died sky diving in Costa Rica. The hospital called her right after Lane’s wedding; Logan never removed her from his emergency contact list.

“She was so… broken –so scared. I told her we had to tell you and Lorelai about us because if anything happened to me, or to her….” Jess trailed off. “Being at the hospital with Richard was scary for me too, Luke. If anything ever happens to her…”

Luke sighed heavily. “Jess, I had no idea. Listen to me, both you and Rory are young –you don’t do anything idiotic like jump out of planes for fun. You have your whole lives ahead of you.”

“I hope so. She’s it for me, Luke.”

“I know she is. Jess, you’re not about to –you know, get down on one knee or anything are you?”

Jess burst out laughing. “Definitely not. Rory’s not even done at Yale yet; she needs to figure out her career –I don’t want to hold her back from anything. I’ll be starting university in the fall. Just because I know she’s the one doesn’t mean I’m rushing out to buy a ring. We’re nowhere close to having our lives figured out. We’re both on the same page –this is the real deal, but that’s not even on the radar.”

“Good, because I was about to burst into a father-figure-rant about how there’s plenty of merit in waiting and simply enjoying being in love; no need to get married when you’re still only barely an adult; you should wait until you know where your lives will lead you; how the exciting part is figuring out your lives together as you go and all that crap. It would have been seriously riveting advice –really, I could have pulled a muscle.”

“Can’t have that,” Jess laughed and took a deep breath. “How’s Richard doing?”

“He's good. Steadily mending, but I think he might be depressed –which is totally normal. He’s also none too happy that _literally_ the only food Emily will let him eat is fish. But all things considered, he’s doing well. I really think that you being around for an extra few days after the surgery was a huge delight for him,” Luke said earnestly.

“Yeah, well –package deal, right?”

“Package deal,” Luke smiled.

“Hey, is Lorelai around?”

“Yeah, she is. Just a sec,” Luke muffled the phone with his palm and called for Lorelai. “Here she is. Good to talk to you Jess. Talk again soon, huh?”

“Yeah, for sure. Bye Luke.”

“Hey! It’s Boyfriend Of The Year!” Lorelai said brightly. “How are you?”

“I’m good, Lorelai,” Jess chuckled. “I hear you’re dad’s recovering well and eating nothing but fish. Glad to hear it.”

“Yeah, the fish thing is driving him nuts. He spends most of his time in sweats watching golf, which makes my mother nuts –but hey, in this case, the fact that they’re making each other nuts is a very good sign.”

“I bet. Listen, I need to ask you something.”

“What’s up? I’d agree to almost anything for the Boyfriend Of The Year, just for melting both my parents like putty…”

“That’s what it’s about actually. I am the boyfriend of a year. Almost. Next week.”

“No way,” Lorelai gasped. “Really? It’s been a year?”

“Almost,” Jess confirmed. “Who’da thunk, right?”

“Definitely not me. Not at first anyway. Boy does my reaction in the kitchen look stupid now. You should shove a cream pie in _my_ face.”

“Not necessary,” Jess paused. “I know the last few weeks have been pretty hectic and emotionally draining. I really haven’t minded being the one to travel for a few weekends in a row, so that Rory can stay close to Richard.”

“You’re even kinder for offering to give him company. You’ve spent quite a bit of time with him. He appreciates it, really.”

“I still find being in that house really weird. I try not to touch anything,” Jess laughed. “I don’t mind. He’s fun to talk to. We have a lot of great discussions.”

“I know you do, it’s kinda freaky, actually,” Lorelai teased.

“I was hoping to have Rory come here for our anniversary. I have a thought that’s forming into a plan. I could come to Stars Hollow, but I’d like to offer Rory a bit of a reprieve from everything, if I can.”

“I think that’d be really nice Jess. How can I help?”

“Well, if I suggest it, I know she’ll be reluctant to go.”

“Do you want me to talk to her?”

“No, I don’t think that’ll do the trick. Can you, maybe –” Jess took a deep breath, “can I have your dad’s number? Like, if he has a direct line I can call? I think the only way she’ll feel okay about leaving is if he tells her it’s okay.”

“Wow,” Lorelai said. “You really _do_ know her. No problem, Jess. I’m sure my Dad will be happy to help; he’ll be touched. Got a pen?”

“Yeah. Go for it…. Thanks, I’ll call him now.”

Jess hung up with Lorelai, took a deep breath and dialled Richard’s number.

Richard picked up quickly. “Hello?”

“Hi Richard, it’s Jess. How are you doing?”

“Oh! Hello Jess! I’m feeling all right, all things considered. It’s good to be home –though I do wish Emily would allow me to eat more than just fish…”

“She’s just looking out for you. Go easy on her; underneath all the orders she’s barking to everyone in that giant house of yours, she’s just scared. She doesn’t want anything to happen to you.”

Richard chuckled, “I certainly never expected _you_ to have sympathy for Emily.”

“Yeah, me either,” Jess said, rolling his eyes. “So, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Of course. What is it?”

“Well, it’s mine and Rory’s one year anniversary next weekend –”

“Is it really? Oh, that’s wonderful!”

“Yeah. I want her to come here for the weekend; I have a plan of how I’d like to celebrate. But, I don’t think she’d come if I ask her –she’ll want to stay close to you, I think she’s still a little shaken; she’d be too worried about you to leave.”

“That’s nonsense. I’m recovering. I’m home. I’m fine,” Richard insisted.

“I don’t think she’ll see it that way –not if I ask her, anyway.”

“What can I do?”

“Well, if you give her your blessing to leave you for one weekend –I mean she won’t believe anyone but you telling her that you’re fine.”

“Ah. I do suppose you’re right about that.”

“When will you be seeing her next week?”

“Thursday, I think. She said she was going to stop by when her classes were finished. Would you like me to speak to her then?”

“I’m hoping she can drive here on the Friday after her classes –so Thursday’s perfect. Thanks, Richard. A lot.”

“Oh no, not at all. It’s the least I can do. Can I ask what your big plan is?”

Jess smiled and felt his heart speed up. “I got my SAT scores back.”

“Oh!” Richard said excitedly. “How did you fare?”

“Really well. Better than I thought. I was worried that Temple would be my only shot; with scores like this though, I don’t have to worry about that.”

“Congratulations Jess! That is wonderful. I knew you had no reason to be worried.”

“Thank you. Anyway, when I got my GED Rory was really excited –she even made me frame a copy for her –”

“Yes, that sounds like Rory, alright.”

“Yeah. She’ll be so excited over this –that might be more exciting to me than the scores I got. I want to give her these scores too, as a present after a really nice dinner.”

“That sounds lovely! I’ll be happy to give Rory explicit permission to take her leave from me. I’ll see to it that she’s with you next weekend, where she belongs.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate it, Richard.”

“The pleasure’s all mine, Jess,” Richard smiled.

“Richard, can I ask you something else?”

“Yes. Of course.”

“When you were in the hospital, Emily sent me to Yale to get your car. She told me to look in the faculty parking lot and that’s where I found it. Why were you parked in the faculty lot?” Jess asked.

“Oh,” Richard sighed. “Before Rory called me that afternoon to chat, I was meeting with a friend who holds a position in the Economics Department. It seems there’s an opening for a part-time instructor and my name was being tossed around to fill the spot.”

“Really? That sounds like a great opportunity.”

“I don’t know. With everything that’s happened, I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

“When would you start?”

“September.”

“Richard,” Jess said carefully, “it’s only February. By September you’ll be stronger. I know it sounds daunting now, but I’m sure you’ll be better than fine by then. If you pass it up, you might regret it. Doesn’t seem like this type of opportunity is likely to repeat itself.”

“You’re beyond your years, you know that? I suppose you have a point. I probably should consider it carefully before I decide to decline.”

“I think you should. Okay, I’ll let you go. Thanks again, Richard.”

“You are most welcome Jess. Have a wonderful time next weekend,” Richard replied.

* * *

“You conspired with my grandpa!” Rory squealed, pulling away from Jess’ persistent kisses.

“I did,” Jess winked. “And it worked. I knew the only way to get you to feel okay about leaving is if he told you to. He was all too happy to help, just so you know. I didn’t twist his sickly arm.”

“You know me too well…”

“Not possible.”

Rory sighed and wrapped her arms around Jess’ waist, pressing her forehead against his chest.

“How are you, Ror… really?” Jess asked gently.

“I’m okay,” Rory said quietly. “I guess it’s still kinda scary. I know it was weeks ago, but still.”

“Rory, your grandfather had a heart attack and collapsed in front of you. He had emergency bypass surgery.  No one expects you to be over it just because he’s home from the hospital. It was scary – _really_ scary. Your grandpa isn’t the only one who has to heal.”

Suddenly, Rory started to cry.

“Hey, look at me,” Jess said, propping her chin up and holding her face, “he’s gonna be okay, Rory.”

“But Jess, what if he’d –”

“He didn’t.”

“Don’t ever die, please Jess.”

Jess felt a lump rise in his throat as Rory uttered those powerful words that he’d first heard her say the night of Logan’s accident. “I won’t. You can’t either –not until we have an entire life together. Promise me.”

“I promise,” she whispered. “Why did I wait so long?”

“What do you mean?”

“It took me another two weeks to –even after we talked about it again. Why?”

“Rory, stop. Stop torturing yourself. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you _did_. If he hadn’t have been with you that day, exactly when he was, who knows where he would’ve been when he collapsed? Don’t beat yourself up for taking an extra two weeks to find your nerve; it doesn’t matter. He’s okay. He loves you just as much as he ever did. You saved his life.”

“You’re giving me too much credit.”

“As you once said to me: no, I’m really not. Rory, listen, I wish my family problems were the same colour as yours. I wish my family fucked up by caring _too much_. My problems have always been the exact opposite, aside from Luke. I’ve only been able to have a halfway decent relationship with Liz in the last two years, after I got my shit together and she stopped trying to mother me in her own misguided way. So it took you two extra weeks to talk to your grandfather… it doesn’t matter. It’s okay.”

“I guess,” Rory sighed. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Conspiring with my grandpa.”

“Anytime,” Jess grinned.

* * *

After dinner –Indian take-out that _didn’t_ stink up Jess’ entire apartment- he led her to sit on his bed and handed her a frame with a large bow tied around it. “I love you. Happy anniversary, Rory.”

Rory looked at him with a sad smile. “I don’t have anything for you. I’m sorry Jess, with everything that’s been going on, I just –”

Jess cut her apology off with a kiss, quickly forcing her lips apart with his own and getting lost in the familiarity of her taste. He pulled back slowly and waited for Rory to open her eyes. “Yes you do,” he whispered. “Come on, open it.”

Rory tore off the bow and read the page held in the frame. Her mouth dropped open. “Jess,” she said in shock, “this is –you got –you –this is amazing! Oh my God, I don’t believe this!” She stammered as tears of joy streamed down her cheeks. “I am _so_ proud of you,” she pressed her forehead against his. “I’m so in love with you,” she said sincerely, putting the frame down to hold his face in her hands. “You’re everything to me. And you’re a _total_ nerd!” Rory said exuberantly, laughing with uninhibited excitement for the first time in weeks –it was one of the most beautiful sounds Jess had ever heard.

Inside the frame was a copy of Jess’ official SAT scores. Seven fifty verbal, seven sixty written, giving him a combined written/verbal score of fifteen ten and five twenty-five math. His final, overall score was twenty thirty-five putting him between the ninety-fourth and ninety-fifth percentile.

“Who knew, the kid bored out of his mind in high school, who ended up blowing it off would turn out to be such a dork when it came to book learnin’ huh?” Jess smiled.

“Jess, I am so proud of you. I love you so much. This is –this is just amazing. I always knew you –,” Rory said, sniffling through her tears and cupping his cheek.

“I know you did. I could never have done any of this without you. Ever since the first time you told me I could do more so many years ago. All of this,” Jess gestured around him, “Truncheon, my writing, going to community college writing the SATs and now applying to universities –none of it would have been possible if I didn’t have you. I love you _so much_ , Rory. You’re everything to me,” Jess said, leaning into her touch.

“Jess,” Rory said, breathless and beaming, “with scores like this, you could get in anywhere. I know you have your heart set on Temple and that’s wonderful. But with scores like this, you will have other options, if you want them.”

“Ah yes, that reminds me –that is a perfect segue into part two.”

“Part two? There’s more?”

“There is,” Jess smiled widely and opened the drawer of his bedside table, pulling out three computer printouts that confirmed his applications to Temple, Penn State and The University of Pennsylvania.

“Jess,” Rory said, shocked, “this is _amazing_! The University of Pennsylvania is an Ivy League school!”

“I know,” Jess chuckled. “I’m fairly certain that I don’t belong within the hallowed walls of an Ivy League institution –though clearly I’m smart enough. But it is nice to know I have the academic chops to apply. Penn State seems great too, that’ll be the stiff competition –it’s a great school but it’s _huge_ and more expensive, plus I want to stay in Philadelphia and keep living here at Truncheon. Even if I have to take a major step back, I still want to be actively involved –Temple is literally fifteen minutes up the street, so I can work at any hour of the day, even take meetings between classes if I need to.”

Rory was glowing with pride. “This is so amazing!” she screamed excitedly, setting the frame aside and throwing her arms around Jess’ neck in a fierce hug. When she pulled back, she placed her hand gently against his face, “I don’t know what I would do without you, Jess. I love you.”

“You’re my always,” Jess said simply, staring into her bright blue eyes.

The mood in the room shifted. Their breathing became silent and synchronized; they could feel the heat radiating off each other’s skin.

Rory set the frame and application confirmations aside and leaned in to kiss him. She tugged lightly at the short hairs of Jess’ beard as their mouths moved together; Jess moaned at the sensation and pulled Rory tighter to him. Rory’s hands started to roam, blindly searching for the hem of Jess’ shirt –breaking their kiss to pull it over his head quickly and toss it aside, before doing the same with her own.

Jess caught her lips again in a feverish kiss and leaned back to lie down, pulling Rory with him. His hands explored her back; finding the clasp of her bra, he popped it open and removed it from her skin, wasting no time in moving is mouth down her neck until he caught a nipple between his teeth. Rory gasped and moaned, her sounds spurring Jess on. From the position they lay in, with Rory haphazardly on top of him, he bent a knee slightly to coax her legs apart. When he brushed softly against her, causing her pants to chafe slightly against her wetness, she sucked in a sharp breath and pushed down against Jess’ knee, searching for firmer contact.  
             
Jess could feel her damp arousal against his knee, even through their jeans. He moved slightly, starting to massage the full length of her sex.

“Mmmm, keep doing that,” Rory breathed, bucking against his movements. “Fuck, that feels good.”

“God Rory,” Jess panted, “you have no idea what you do to me when you talk like that.” He reached down between them and fiddled blindly with her jeans until he felt the button give way. Slipping his hand into her underwear, he started teasing her clit and letting her wetness coat his fingers. His mouth never left her chest, teasing her and showering her with kisses.

Rory reached down with one hand, exploring the perfect skin of his chest and the curves of his muscles until her fingers found his belt. Reluctantly, she pulled away from his touch and smiled seductively. She kissed his lips deeply, letting her tongue discover every nook and cranny of his mouth. Releasing his lips, she moved slowly, kissing his soft, bearded chin and down his throat. When she reached his chest, she swirled her tongue in lazy circles around his nipples before continuing down. Kissing the soft skin below his belly button, she wrapped her fingers around his pants and boxers.

Jess strained against her touch and his hips lifted off the bed involuntarily. His hands found their way to massage her scalp and play with her hair. “Rory, Jesus,” he whispered, knowing what she was about to do.

Rory smiled against his skin. “It turns out I do have something I can give you,” she purred, pulling his pants off. Inching her way back up between his legs, she kissed his thighs before reaching out to grasp his length. Pressing it gently against his stomach, she licked her way up his shaft and started gently massaging and rolling him around in her palm.

Jess’ breath quickened and he screwed his eyes shut. His hands fell to his sides and he fisted the sheets roughly. He didn’t want to touch Rory just now, for fear of losing control and forcing it to happen hard and fast. No, he just wanted to feel everything; there was no need for him to become a beast.

“Fuck, Rory,” just kept falling from his lips over and over, like a chant –he couldn’t stop it.

Rory eventually moved her hand to grasp his length, right before closing her lips around him and sucking deeply, moaning against him as she slowly started moving up and down.

Jess concentrated on slowing his breathing. As Rory found her rhythm, he trusted himself to release his grip on the sheets and move his hands to cradle her head. He let his eyes flutter open; his heart raced as he lifted his head up to look down at her. “Jesus, Rory, you’re…. oh fuck,” he stuttered before giving up on forming a coherent thought. Once he looked at her, he couldn’t tear his eyes away. The sight of her –the sight of himself sliding in and out of her mouth was one of the sexiest things he’d ever seen. Soon his fingers were twisting in her hair, guiding her movements and her pace to what he wanted.

Rory obliged his gentle guidance, locking eyes with him as he started to tense around her. As she saw and felt his muscles begin to clench, another low moan escaped her throat and reverberated against him.

“Rory,” Jess pleaded, “I’m gonna… I can’t… it feels too good, please.” He tried to pull her up –for some reason he felt like coming in her mouth might be too much.

But Rory wouldn’t let him. She stayed right where she was; when she felt Jess tug her hair upwards to pull her towards him, she planted her palms on either side of his thighs and pointed her gaze down, taking him in deeper and sucking harder.

His grip on her hair suddenly tightened. He muttered Rory’s name over and over as he came so hard that he nearly forgot his own.

When Jess’ orgasm subsided, she released him slowly and crawled back up his chest, kissing his lips feverishly. “Happy anniversary _to you_ ,” she said playfully as she pulled away to breathe.

“God I love you,” Jess panted, his head spinning.

Rory giggled and kissed him again, wiggling her pants off without leaving his mouth.

Jess pulled her close as he felt himself start to harden again. He slowed their kiss down before pulling away and gently nudging her to lie on her side with her back to him. “Time to let me return the favour,” he whispered, slipping both his arms around her, massaging her breasts with one hand while the other found its way down to tease her where she needed him most.

Rory whimpered and sighed against him. Her breath hitched as he slipped one finger inside of her and then two, moving so slowly in and out that she thought she might burst. When she started to get frantic under his touch, he removed his fingers and gave her what she really wanted.

Jess showered loving kisses across her back; as he entered her, the feeling was so overwhelming that he couldn’t stop himself from nipping at her skin softly with his teeth. He started moving within her, finding a gentle, slow but strong pace. “I love you, Rory… I love you so much. I’ll never get enough of you, never,” he whispered in her ear as they continued to move together.

For Rory, Jess’ simple, heartfelt words were a more effective aphrodisiac than the best dirty talk anyone might be able to come up with. She came undone as he whispered to her, unable to say anything but his name.

They were both close, Jess could feel it. One of his hands trailed a path down to where they were joined and he teased her delicate, sensitive skin, urging her to let go. “Come on Rory. Come for me; come with me, please. Let me feel you,” he said quietly. He pulled his arm tighter around her shoulders where her head rested in the crook of his elbow.

“Jess,” Rory whispered, digging her nails into his arm as she grasped for an anchor. “God, I love you,” she nearly sobbed as she tightened around him.

When the humming high subsided, Rory turned to face Jess. He kissed her long and slow and wrapped his arms around her.

“You’re amazing,” Jess whispered sincerely.

“You too,” Rory smiled. “So, I applied for the Reston,”

“Oh yeah? That’s great, Ror. The New York Times would be crazy not to take you.”

“We’ll see,” she said, a little uneasily. “I’m getting a bunch of resumes ready to send out to other papers too, just in case.”

“Ever the prepared one, you are,” Jess smirked.

“What about you? How are you gonna decide about school?”  
             
“I don’t know. I wasn’t banking on having more than one option.”

“Oh! We could do a pro/con list!” Rory said excitedly.

Jess laughed. “I’ll leave the list making to you.”

“Okay. I’m totally doing it, just so you know.”

“I never doubted it.”

“Jess?”

“Hm?”

“We’ll be okay right? I mean, we’ll figure it out, right? I have no idea where I’ll find a job…”

Jess kissed Rory’s forehead. “It won’t be simple, but we will figure it out. We’ll be okay. I promise. Don’t you worry yourself about us, don’t let that stop you from applying anywhere and everywhere you want. Nothing should stop you from seeking out every opportunity you can Ror, least of all me. I won’t let you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to let the record show: I am Canadian; we don't do the SAT thing here. Figuring out Jess' scores was a BITCH!


	32. Chapter 32

“Lane’s having _twins_?” Jess asked.        

“Yeah. And she’s been put on bed rest,” Rory confirmed.

“How is she gonna… birth two babies? Lane’s tiny –how is she _carrying_ two babies?”

“Not right now she’s not –and if you tell her I said that, I _will_ kill you, Mariano.”

“Don’t mention to the pregnant woman that she’s as big as a house. I think I can actually remember that!” Jess teased.

“Ha, ha,” Rory deadpanned. “So you’ll come?”

“I thought baby showers were strictly a female thing –like a ‘no guys allowed’ kind of thing.”

“Not this one.”  
             
“Do I have to bring a gift?”

“I bought something, I’ll sign the card for both of us.”

“Aw, I really love you! I can’t shop for baby stuff.”

“Too manly, are you?” Rory joked.

“Hey, I’m plenty secure in my manhood,” Jess said defensively. “It’s more because we’re only twenty-two and I can’t fathom that my friends are starting to have babies. When it’s our kid, it’ll be different.”

Rory fell silent.

“Ror? Hello? Did I lose you?”

“No. I’m here. You –you want kids?”

Jess laughed. “Geez. This isn’t the way this is supposed to go. It’s _you_ who should be scaring _me_ with shit like that. Sorry.”

“Yeah, that’ll teach you to steal my thunder,” Rory said awkwardly. She took a deep breath. “You want kids?”

“Sure, in ten years or so –at least. Hopefully I can be a better dad than Jimmy … never even cared about trying to be. If you don’t want to risk your offspring being fucked up by my genetic jackpot I totally understand.”

“Are you kidding? Your hair and my eyes on a child? Our children are going to be ridiculously beautiful. I’m just surprised you’ve given it any thought at all. But … ten years right?”

“ _At least_. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to freak you out. If it makes you feel any better I freaked myself out just as much. I blame Lane…”

“Yeah well, don’t tell her _that_ next week either,” Rory laughed.

“My lips are sealed.”

“Do you think Luke and my mom will have kids?”

Probably. Although, God help the children in understanding the weird family unit we make up: ‘You see kids, your half-sister and Daddy’s nephew are very much in love.’ We should probably plan to be out of the country for whatever weekend that little talk is planned.”

“Won’t that just make it worse?”

“Yes, absolutely. But that won’t be our problem.”

“Fair point,” Rory giggled. “Hey, when’s your interview at Temple?”

“Penn State’s on Monday, Temple’s on Wednesday. Sorry about having to miss out on seeing you this weekend.”  
             
“Jess, it’s totally okay. You need to be focused on preparing. Have you heard anything from University of Pennsylvania?”  
             
“Yeah,” Jess sighed, “I didn’t get in.”

“Oh Jess,” Rory said soothingly, “I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t have my heart set on UPenn anyway. I knew that one was a long shot. It’s no skin off my back –the fact that I qualified to apply based on my SAT scores is a miracle.

“I thought I would only have one option and I applied to three. I got interviews with the admissions department at two great schools. I can’t tell you how happy I am that I landed interviews without having to write an admissions essay –which I thought would be a requirement for them not laughing me out of the room. It’s amazing that my SAT scores and resume and recommendation letters are strong enough to get me all the way to the interview stage –it’s amazing, I’m really pleased. Ror,” Jess said gently, “I’ll get into at least one of the two schools I have left.”

“You’re right, you will. I’m so proud of you Jess. I love you,” Rory said sincerely.

“I love you too Rory. It’ll work out. I’ll get in somewhere,” Jess assured her.

* * *

Jess sat across from the admissions counselor at Temple. His SAT scores? Remarkable, especially considering his rocky academic history. His performance at community college? Commendable. His resume and published work made all the more impressive by his young age and humble beginnings. His recommendation letters? Glowing. There was only one thing left that they needed to know. Jess knew exactly what was coming.

“Mr. Mariano. I’m sure you know what I have to ask,” the counselor said evenly.

“Yes, ma’am,” Jess answered.

“You have done a remarkable job of turning your life around. By all accounts, it seems that in merely four to five years you have made a complete transformation –from high school drop out to published author with one fifth of a stake in a small but beloved local publishing house. No one could deny that should you be accepted here, you have the potential to thrive, to forge a path to success for the rest of your life. You have exactly the type of young mind and drive to succeed that we here at Temple look for in our applicants.”

“Thank you.”

“Mr. Mariano. As impressive as your transformation has been, why has it not been enough? You’d become a published author and secured a career at Truncheon Books before you procured your GED this past spring. Why pursue higher education when you’re already poised to experience satisfactory success where you are? You abandoned your education once. How can Temple be sure that if we were to accept you into one of our most sought after, unique and indeed challenging dual Degree programs that you will not buckle under the pressure and abandon us as well? We cannot waste an offer of admission on someone who might squander it away.”

Jess took a deep breath. “I could tell you something flowery, like how I attribute almost everything to the love of an extraordinary woman, who was the first person to believe that I could do more than screw up everything I touched –and that would be the truth. But flowery is not the kind of truth you want. So forget the extraordinary woman for a second.

“I grew up with a Mom who could barely take care of herself; for all intents and purposes, I don’t even have a Dad. I was what you’d call a ‘problem child’, as is evidenced by my entirely spotty academic history. I was the problem –that’s what life had taught me for as long as I could remember.

“The only world I could exist in where I wasn’t being blamed for something was the world of books. Books were my escape. As far as real life was concerned, I learned to be exactly what people expected –a screw up. When my mom couldn’t handle her ‘problem child’ anymore, she shipped me off to Stars Hollow, a town about an hour outside of Hartford that makes Pleasantville seem like the ghetto. My mom’s decision to send me to that insipid little town was the truest act of love she’s ever bestowed upon me –though of course I didn’t know it at the time.

“Living in Stars Hollow, my uncle was the first person to hold me accountable for anything. Imagine how hard it was for me to learn, for the first time, at seventeen, that actions have consequences. Imagine how arrogantly I believed that I had nothing to lose. Imagine how shocked I was to learn that I had _everything_ to lose.

“My uncle had one stipulation to my living under his roof –after he’d already kicked me out once and I begged him to let me come back. Graduate high school. That’s all he asked of me. As my records have already told you, I didn’t. What those records don’t tell you is that I sat in math class reading _Slaughterhouse Five_ for the twentieth time instead of writing the final exam. When I didn’t graduate, I left before my uncle could kick me out again.

“When I left, I broke the heart of the first person who ever believed in me. She said she knew that I had the potential to _be more, do more_ –I had no idea why. I knew I wasn’t good enough for her –she was headed to Harvard or Yale, she deserved better than a loser like me. She believed in me –the problem was that I didn’t believe in me.

“It took a few years after I left Stars Hollow and a few more monumental screw ups to figure things out. My salvation came when I had so many things rattling around in my head that I decided to write a story. It must have been a pretty decent one, because the guys at Truncheon took a chance on publishing the kid who didn’t even graduate high school and had nothing going for him. Even more baffling, they _hired_ me and gave me a stake in the business. That was almost two years ago. I’ve never looked back.

“Before I could try to earn the love of that extraordinary woman, I had to learn to love myself. I had to learn that I don’t _have to be the screw up_ –that I _can_ be more, I _can_ be a better man than what my entire life up to the age of twenty had led me to believe.

“I’m _that_ guy –the one who came from nothing, defied all the odds and made something of himself. Making something of yourself when you’re nothing is no easy task.

“There’s no right answer I can give you, on the spot in this moment that could possibly convince you beyond any shadow of any doubt that I will not do everything you’re understandably worried that I might do –fail, buckle under the pressure, goof off.

“All I can tell you is that I _never_ want to go back to who I was at seventeen, eighteen or nineteen and hope like hell that you believe me. I know the challenges I’ll face in this program. All due respect, the challenges I overcame to get _here_ , to be in this admissions interview were far more significant than the challenges of academic life at Temple.

“At Truncheon, I am doing something I love. I will always be loyal to them; they took a chance on some random uneducated kid with nothing but ‘raw talent’ in his corner.

“I’m only twenty-two. I want _more._ Being a writer and working in publishing is my passion. What better way to nurture that passion than through Temple’s amazing English program, which will allow me to get a duel Bachelor’s and Master’s Degree with a focus in creative writing and editing –the very field of work I love so much?

“Truncheon is just my starting line. I want Temple to be my vehicle to the future –which for the first time in my life, I’m actually optimistic about and excited to discover.

“For the first time in the history of my family, I want Mariano to be a name that people respect, not one synonymous with failure. It is my greatest hope that Temple University is the place where I can start to redefine the meaning of the name Mariano.”

* * *

“Lane’s on bed rest,” Jess confirmed for the third time as he left the diner with Rory and Lorelai.

“Yup,” Rory nodded.

“But the baby shower’s at Miss Patty’s?”

“Yes. Exactly,” Lorelai smiled.

“Okay,” Jess shook his head, “clearly, there’s something I’m not getting, here.”

“How are your shoes?” Rory asked him.  
             
“My shoes?”  
             
“Good arch support? Good traction?”  
             
“What? Why does it matter if my shoes have good traction and arch support?”

Rory and Lorelai both glared at him.

“Right, we’ve swapped again –you ask, I answer. Yes, my shoes have good arch support and traction. Why does this matter? Stupid question –you’re not going to tell me, are you?”

“Nope,” Lorelai winked. “Come on, she’s waiting!”

Fifteen minutes later, the five of them were stopping traffic. Lane was indeed on bed rest, but in no world did that justify cancelling a party. The baby shower had grown too large to bring the party to Lane, so the only course of action was to bring Lane –propped up in a queen-sized bed and loaded onto a wheeled platform- to the party. Mrs. Kim barked angry threats to annoyed motorists while Lorelai, Rory, Zach and Jess steered the giant bed down the street.

“Slow down! Hold it! Hold it! Too fast!” Mrs. Kim tried to contain the entire scene, half afraid that Lane might catch her death before they reached Miss Patty’s.  
             
“Mom, I'm fine,” Lane sighed. “Hey, this is fun. Don't they push a bed through the streets in the opening credits of ‘The Monkees’?”  
             
“I'm pretty sure it was a bathtub,” Zach said.  
             
“Actually it was both –” Lorelai started.  
             
“Davy’s in the bed. Peter’s in the bathtub,” Jess finished.  
             
“Are you sure?” Zach asked. “Cause I could have sworn…”  
             
“Oh Zach, you don't want to go head-to-head with Mom about ‘Monkees’ trivia –especially when Jess is backing her play. Trust me, you’ll never win,” Rory laughed.  
             
“You did not come to a full stop!” Mrs. Kim yelled indignantly at a driver, “and use your blinkers!”  
             
Zach sighed heavily. “Okay, we’re turning around.”  
             
“Hold on, Lane!” Jess warned her as they approached Miss Patty’s.  
             
“Are you ready?” Mrs. Kim asked Lane. “Here we go. Hold tight. You alright?”  
             
“Yup! I'm good!” Lane laughed as they turned the bed and picked up speed, powering over the ramp bridging the threshold at Miss Patty’s.

The baby shower was such an awesome party, Jess forgot it was a baby shower. The onesie decorating was actually a lot of fun; he painted as many band logos as he could think of, crammed in as many as he could fit –front and back (times two of course, one for each kid).

When the party was in full swing, Rory stood up on Lane’s bed and got everyone’s attention. “Hi, everyone. I don’t want to interrupt the fun. I just wanted to say thank you for coming to this somewhat unconventional baby shower, which is actually perfect, because when do Lane and Zach ever do anything that’s conventional? I’ve known Lane now for –what has it been? Seventeen years?”  
             
“Yeah,” Lane confirmed.  
             
“And I’m just sick of her already…”

Everyone burst out laughing. Rory caught Jess’ gaze and they winked at each other.

“No, actually, I just love you and Zach so much, and I just can't wait to meet those boys. So thank you so much for coming. Keep having fun. And just eat, drink, and keep decorating those onesies!”  
             
“Thanks, Rory. This party rocks,” Zach said.  
             
“Ah, most of it was my mom, though. I’ve been super busy at Yale. I planned, she executed,” Rory explained.  
             
“Well, you both rock.”  
             
“Well, how often does a girl’s best friend have twins?”  
             
“Just once, let’s hope,” Lane cut in with a laugh.  
             
“Yeah, no kidding,” Zach agreed. “You want a drink, babe?”  
             
“Maybe a lemonade.”  
             
“Coming right up.”  
             
“Seriously Rory, Zach’s right. This party is amazing. Everything you guys did –truthfully, I didn't think it was actually gonna happen,” Lane said sincerely.  
             
“Yes well, that whole bed-rest thing really threw a wrench in.”

“Ah, that wouldn’t have stopped you,” Jess said casually as he walked up to them. “Where there’s a will, Rory finds a way. Do you know her and Lorelai were grilling me about my footwear not fifteen minutes before we came and got you?”

“No!” Lane gasped. She looked at Rory. “You didn’t tell him?”

“No,” Rory giggled.

Jess laughed. “Yeah, and I really don’t understand why not. What was I gonna say? ‘Serves her right for getting herself put on bed rest! No party for Lane!’ If you hadn’t come up with the mobile bed idea, I would have suggested it myself.”

“Thanks for your help, Jess,” Lane smiled. “I’m so glad you came!”

Jess smiled. “Anytime, Lane. I’m glad I could be here too. Your sons are gonna have some pretty rockin’ onesies. If the boys think they suck though, say that someone else did them,” he winked.

* * *

“I can’t believe how into painting those onesies you were!” Rory laughed.

“You noticed that, huh?” Jess asked, not even a little bit embarrassed.

“Um, of course I did. You were so meticulous! It was adorable.”

“That was a really nice speech you gave, Ror.”

“Thanks. God, I can’t believe my married best friend Lane is having twins! I was just getting used to the fact that her and Zach got married.”

“Yeah. If you think you can’t believe it, just ask Lane and Zach themselves –they’re probably way more shocked than you are.”

“Probably. Thanks for coming Jess, really,” Rory said, running her fingers through his short hair. “I know you’ve had a crazy week. It really did mean a lot to Lane that you were there.”

“I know. Why do you think I agreed to come? I know she’ll always be your friend first, but I really like Lane –she’s my friend too. Trust me, you’d be hard pressed to sell me on a co-ed baby shower for anyone else.”

“I know she is,” Rory smiled. “How did your interviews go?”

Jess sighed. “They were really nerve-wracking. College admissions officers certainly know how to put you in the hot seat.”

“Yeah they do. Just try being in the hot seat at Harvard, Yale and Princeton.”

“No thank you. That’s why you’re cut out for the Ivy League and I’m not.”

“What did you tell them? When they asked you the hot seat question, I mean?”

“The truth,” Jess said simply.

 


	33. Chapter 33

It was the end of April. Paris had gotten into every law school and medical school imaginable. Her excitement quickly descended into dread as she realized she was so good at everything that all the best places wanted her –how was she ever supposed to make a choice? She even broke up with Doyle in an effort to make her decision easier, refusing to accept his willingness to follow her wherever she decided to go so that they could be together.

That lasted less than a week; after two years with Paris, Doyle put his foot down and staunchly refused to be broken up with her. Not long after, Paris confidently decided that Harvard Med was the place for her. That was that; Paris’ future was set.

A few days later, Rory walked in on a party Paris was throwing for fellow Yale graduates going to Harvard Med –as a way to size up the competition. She saw a thin envelope sitting on the table with her name on it, bearing the return address of the New York Times. She opened the envelope with Paris’ lucky letter opener, hoping that the luck it brought Paris would extend to her. Rory’s heart sank and she stopped reading even before she got to the end of the first sentence:               
             
_Dear Ms. Gilmore,_  
_We regret to inform you…_  


* * *

In Philadelphia, Jess could hardly believe his eyes. The words were right there in front of his face, each letter bearing the official letterhead of the institution and the original signature of the Dean of Admissions. Still he was untrusting –waiting for someone to pop out from behind a curtain yelling _Gotcha!_

But there they were, letters from both Temple and Penn State bearing the same message. No matter how long Jess stared at them, the words on the page were no trick:

_Dear Mr. Mariano,  
_ _Congratulations! We are very pleased to inform you that you have been accepted…_

“Holy fucking shit,” Jess muttered in disbelief.

* * *

While Rory was driving to Philadelphia that Friday, she refused to let herself be a downer. She hadn’t told Jess about the Reston because she knew he was still waiting to hear from Temple and Penn State. He was so excited and full of hope; she wouldn’t let her sadness eclipse his joy. Rory would tell Jess about the Reston soon, but not now; she wanted to ignore her disappointment and focus on being happy for him.

She’d also gotten an unexpected call for an interview at the Providence Journal Bulletin less than a week after she was denied for the Reston. It wasn’t just the Reston that Rory had to talk to Jess about –and the more she thought about it, the more complicated and draining the conversation seemed like it was going to be. She made up her mind to hold off on telling Jess anything until he’d heard about school and could start weighing the choices for his own future. Her news couldn’t overshadow his.

When she arrived at Truncheon, Jess was still working. All five guys were huddled around, arguing about layouts and the itinerary of events for the spring open house. As soon as Jess heard Rory come through the door, he ran over to her and scooped her right off the ground in a fierce embrace, twirling her through the air.

“Hi,” Rory giggled, clinging to his shoulders tightly as she spun.

“I love you, I love you, I love you!” Jess exclaimed, his voice full of excitement.

“I love you too,” Rory laughed as he set her down, “what’s gotten into you, Jess?”

“A better question is _where_ did _he_ get into,” Chris said with a chuckle.

Rory looked at Chris, baffled and turned her attention to Jess. “What’s he talking about?”

For a moment, Jess lost his ability to form words. All he could do was stand there and smile at her, his crooked mouth twitching from its inability to covey the extent of his excitement. His brown eyes were warm and beaming.

“Jess,” Rory pressed, her heart skipping a beat, “what’s he talking about?”

“Aw come on man, don’t get shy and bashful now. The suspense is gonna kill her! If you don’t tell her, I will,” Matt teased. “Three, two –”  
             
“Come on,” Jess said, cutting Matt off and squeezing Rory’s hand, leading her upstairs in a hurry.

“Jess, what’s going on?”

Jess led Rory by the hand over to his desk, where both acceptance letters sat in plain view. “Look,” he nodded, finally freeing her from his grip.

Rory read the letters in silence without even picking them up. She looked up from his desk and locked eyes with him, a lump rising in her throat. “You did it,” she said quietly, tears spilling down her cheeks. “You did it! Oh my God, Jess!”

Jess took one large step to close the small distance between them and hugged her as tightly as he could. As soon as he felt Rory’s arms wrap around him and her fingers raked a path through his hair, he felt his eyes well up.

“I’m so happy for you! This is amazing Jess! I’m so proud of you. I always knew you could.”

Jess loosened his grip on Rory enough to lean back and hold her arms gently in his hands. When he kissed her, he felt so much love for her that he thought he would actually burst. They breathed together easily and moved as one, but no sweep of their tongues was deep enough.

Jess continued to caress her mouth slowly and gently for a long time before pulling away and pressing his forehead against hers. “Not without you. You –you are my God-given solace. You gave me the passion I needed, to have dreams –to chase them and believe that they could come true.”

* * *

Rory and Jess spent the weekend celebrating his good news, though it quickly became apparent to Jess how hard it was to be torn between two equally good options. His heart still whispered _Temp-le_ , _Temp-le_ , _Te-mple,_ with almost every beat, but the lure of Penn State was very close to drowning it out.

Rory jumped at the chance to create a pro/con list for him and was almost giddy when he became nearly as devoted to the task as she was.

The lists were not as helpful as Jess was hoping they would be in swaying his opinion. If anything, seeing the pros and cons of each school clearly delineated in front of him just made the decision harder.

Rory was shocked to hear that Jess had known about his acceptances for a week and still hadn’t told Luke, Lorelai or Liz. Very early on Sunday morning, she snuck out of bed and called Luke, knowing he’d be awake.

“Rory?” Luke asked in surprise, looking at the clock and seeing it was barely seven in the morning. “Why are you calling so early? Aren’t you in Philadelphia with Jess?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Is he okay? Are you okay? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Jess is better than fine. Luke, he got accepted into Temple and Penn State!”

“Oh my God! That’s amazing! Why wouldn’t he tell me?”

“I don’t know, I’m thinking he wanted to let it sink in. He says he’s torn about where he should go.”

“They’re both fantastic schools. It doesn’t matter to me where he goes, as long as he’s happy.”

“I know. He knows that too.”

“Rory," Luke said slowly, “won’t Jess be mad when he finds out you told me this? Sure, he may take his time with it, but I know he’d want to tell me himself –whatever he decides.”

“Luke, I have an idea. I know it’s short notice, but can you and Mom drive to Philadelphia today?” Rory asked.

“Sure, I can have Cesar cover for me at the diner. Your mom’s off today.”

“Can you get a hold of Liz? Would it be hard for her to get here?”

“I don’t know, I’ll call and ask. Believe it or not, her and TJ are thinking of moving to Stars Hollow.”

Rory was surprised. “Really?”  
             
“Don’t even get me started…. Point is, yeah, I can get a hold of her; she’ll be around today. What time do you want us there? I’m assuming this is a surprise of some kind.”

“Yeah. Hm. Do you think you can get here around three? I’ll let Jess’ friends know the plan.”

“Sure. What is the plan, exactly? You’ve told me nothing.”

“Jess says he doesn’t know where he wants to go to school, but he does. I need help with setup. Can you have Mom text me when she wakes up? I’ll call her and explain.”

“What, I don’t get to know?” Luke teased.

“Of course you do. She’ll fill you and Liz in when you’re on the road. Thanks Luke!”

Rory tip toed back into the bedroom and slipped back under the covers, though she had no intention of going back to sleep.  
             
When she heard Matt and Chris shuffling in the upstairs hallway, she snuck out of Jess’ apartment again, very quietly.

“Guys, I have a plan. I need you to take Jess out this afternoon around three…”

* * *

“Oh my God Rory, this was such a good idea! I’m so glad you let me be a part of it!” Liz squealed as they browsed the Temple bookstore.

“You’re his mom, Liz. Why wouldn’t I call you to be part of it?” Rory giggled.

“Well still, it’s nice to be thought of is all. What about this?” She asked, pointing to a giant plush owl.

“That’s Temple’s mascot. He _definitely_ needs one of those.”

“This is so fun! Where did you get the idea to do this anyways?”

“That’d be me,” Lorelai said with a smile. “When Rory got accepted to school, she was really torn between Harvard and Yale. She’d had her heart set on Harvard since before she started high school, so when she was drawn to Yale she felt like she was cheating on her dream or something. She had this Bristol board in her room covered with Harvard stuff and one day, I swapped it all out for Yale stuff. After that her conscience was clear and her blood started running bulldog blue.”

“I know Jess has his heart set on Temple,” Rory explained, “I’m doing the same thing for him that Mom did for me. I’m telling him what he already knows.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you Rory, he’ll be touched,” Liz said, sidling up to her and giving her shoulder a loving squeeze.

“Well, I figured it should be a family affair –everyone who loves Jess supporting him, you know? I’m glad you could be here Liz; you’re his mom, somehow it wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Liz offered Rory a genuine and emotional smile of gratitude before pulling her into a warm hug.

“Can we get him one of these?” Luke asked, holding up a vintage tin sign on a string that said _Owl Country._

“Yes, absolutely,” Rory laughed.

When they reached the till, their haul included two different sweatshirts, two different tee shirts (not including the ones they’d chosen for themselves to mark the occasion), a throw blanket, a key chain, a travel mug, a regular mug, a leather-bound notebook, a four pack of pens, a wall flag, a beanie hat, a bedside clock, the tin sign and the plush owl.

“How are we gonna get up to Jess’ place to set all this up? We won’t exactly be able to sneak in,” Luke said as they piled into the Jeep.

“Oh, yeah. I had Matt and Chris take him out this afternoon. I think they called Andrew and Joe to be in on it too. No one will be there when we get back,” Rory said.

Luke was impressed. “Wow, you really thought of everything, Rory.”

“Hey Hun,” Lorelai said to Rory quietly as they made the ten minute drive back to Locust Street, “did you tell Jess about the Reston or the Providence Journal Bulletin?”

Rory sighed. “Nope, not yet. I’m still processing. I didn’t want to drag him down with a bunch of my own mixed feeling news before he heard back about his own stuff. I knew when he heard back we’d be celebrating and I didn’t wanna mess with that.”

“Providence is a really exciting opportunity Rory, he’ll be happy for you.”

“I know, but I just –I wanna let Jess have his moment, you know? He’s worked so hard –he probably didn’t even think he’d get here. Besides, it will be better if I start figuring out about how I feel about it all before I talk to him.”

Between the four of them, Jess’ apartment at Truncheon was decked out in Temple gear in no time. The blanket and stuffed owl were on his bed, the flag tacked on his wall, the mugs, notebook, tin sign and clock all displayed on his desk. Everyone made sure to throw on their Temple shirts before they heard Jess coming up the stairs.

Jess walked in while looking behind him, joking with Chris, Joe, Andrew and Matt.

“SURPRISE!” Everyone yelled.

Jess’ head whipped around and he stumbled back. “Luke? Lorelai? What the hell are you guys –Mom?! What is this?”

“Look around sweetie,” Liz smiled.

Slowly, Jess registered that his room was filled with red, owls and everything Temple. He also saw that Luke, Lorelai, Liz and Rory were all wearing Temple tee shirts. When he locked eyes with Rory, he was overcome. He grinned from ear-to-ear and started laughing. Soon his cheeks burned and he felt the sting of happy tears flood his eyes. He sucked them back sharply.

Rory broke out into a wide smile and approached Jess with her hands behind her back.

“You’re unbelievable,” he whispered.

“Who needs a pro/con list? You’ve known exactly what you wanted since you first told me about Temple back in the summer. Do you really think I didn’t notice the twinkle in your eye?”

Jess snaked his arms through Rory’s and pulled her close. “I love you so much. Thank you, Ror.”

When Jess closed his eyes and pulled her into a passionate kiss, Rory released her hands from her back and stuck the Temple beanie on Jess’ head –crooked and half covering his eyes. The kiss broke when they started laughing hysterically. “I love you too,” Rory giggled. “Go on –say hi to everyone. Hug your mom before she melts.”

Rory hung back, enjoying the moment of watching Jess embrace Liz, then Luke and Lorelai in turn. Her heart could barely contain the joy and pride she felt; she knew that her decision not to weigh Jess down with her drama this weekend had been the right one.

“Nice job, Rory,” Chris said, appearing beside her. “This is really awesome, what you did.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him quite that happy to see Liz,” Matt offered.

“Seriously,” Joe agreed.

“He needed this. He would have driven himself nuts trying to ‘decide’ where to go, but all of us have known forever that it was Temple. How did you know?” Andrew asked.

“Know what?” Rory asked him.

“What to do to show him what he already knew?”

“Oh, well, Jess has been the one to show me plenty of things about myself that I technically already knew, so there’s that. But the school thing? I had a similar dilemma trying to figure out where I should go. My mom did this for me –she replaced my Harvard paraphernalia with Yale paraphernalia.”

“Well, it’s great,” Chris said. “Perfect.”

Rory felt her phone vibrate from inside her pocket. She expected that it might be Lane with an update on the cuteness of her newborn twins, Kwan and Steve. Maybe Paris had found something new to panic about as she prepared for Harvard. She was taken aback to see Hugo Gray’s number flashing on her screen. “Hey, guys, if Jess or anyone asks where I went, tell them I had to take this, okay?”

“Yeah, you bet,” Joe said.

Rory picked up the call as soon as she slipped out. “Hi, Hugo. What’s going on?”

“Rory, I’m so sorry to bother you on a Sunday, but I had to jump on this right away,” Hugo said.

“It’s no problem. What’s up?”

“I know this is sudden, but remember, if I didn’t have total confidence in your journalistic ability I would never ask…”

“Okay, I’ll bite. What is it?”

“How would you feel about cutting your teeth as a reporter covering a presidential campaign?”

Rory’s eyes went wide. “Excuse me?”

“The reporter I had slated to cover Senator Obama’s campaign is moving. His fiancé got a job in Dubai. I need to find someone to replace him in two weeks,” Hugo explained.

“Two weeks? That’s –”  
             
“Right after you graduate, I know.”

“Um –uh –I mean, this is –I don’t know what to say,” Rory stammered.

“I know it’s a lot to take in, kid. But trust me, you’ve got what it takes. Let me tell you everything I can, to save you from having to form a coherent question right now.

“First thing’s first –the pay is shit; next to nothing, but your travel, meals and accommodations would be paid for. You’d be right in the thick of the campaign trail, Gilmore, filing stories with all the other reporters right up until the Democratic convention.   

“It might only be a two month job, but if Obama does as well as I hope he does, it could be two _years_. If he makes it and you prove yourself, I’ll let you be the one to follow him to the White House for us and chronicle an historic moment in American history. It’d be one hell of a kick-start to your career. Think about it, okay? Let me know by Wednesday. You’re my top choice, Gilmore.”

“Thank you –for giving me this opportunity.”

“I hope you’ll take it. I’ll let you go. Enjoy the rest of your night.”

Rory listened to the line go dead, unable to move. One five minute phone call had managed to obliterate the pedestal upon which she’d placed the Reston Fellowship, making it so insignificant that their rejection seemed to have happened a lifetime ago.            

Suddenly, she had no idea why she’d been so reticent to tell Jess about the Providence Journal Bulletin; Providence was entirely small fish, in comparison. Now she _really_ didn’t know what she was going to tell him. Rory immediately knew –before Hugo was even finished pitching it to her- that Jess would wholeheartedly, genuinely encourage her to take the campaign job –if that was what she wanted.

She heard sounds of boisterous laugher float out through Jess’ apartment door and suddenly remembered where she was –the shock of Hugo’s offer causing her to forget entirely for the briefest of interludes.

Rory’s mind was reeling. She clutched her phone tightly in her hand and stared at it, as if it were the key to understanding the once in a lifetime opportunity that had just been handed to her. “Holy. Fucking. Shit,” she whispered, in utter disbelief.


	34. Chapter 34

After five minutes of standing stunned by shock, Rory was able to regulate her breathing; when her heartbeat stopped hammering in her ears, she took a deep breath and opened the door to Jess’ apartment. She tapped Joe on the shoulder. “Hey,” she whispered, “do you think you guys can give me a –I need to talk to Jess and my family.”

“Are you okay?” Joe asked, eying her with concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“The phone call, was it –?”  
             
“It’s nothing bad, Joe, I promise,” Rory was almost hyperventilating. “I need to talk to them, please? I’m so sorry to halt the party.”

Joe shook his head. “No need to apologize. You got it. If I should be comforting you, or congratulating you, or something, just let me know when you figure it out, okay? I speak for all of us.”

Rory smiled weakly.

“Alright boys! We need to clear out,” Joe said loudly.

“Why?” Jess asked.

“That’s something for Rory to tell you, don’t ask me. Congrats bud. Come on guys, let’s go.” Joe winked at Rory and offered her a reassuring smile as Matt, Chris and Andrew said their goodbyes.

As soon as Andrew closed the door behind them, Jess crossed the room to Rory. “What’s going on, are you okay?” he asked softly.

Rory sighed heavily and reached for Jess’ hands, grasping them tightly and intertwining all of their fingers. “I need to tell you something –a lot of somethings actually. I know this is going to be a lot and I’m sorry for that but, I –I wasn’t going to say anything because I wanted to focus on what I knew would be good news for you. But then I got a phone call and –”

“Rory?” Lorelai said with a twinge of worry, “what is it?”

Rory locked eyes with her mother and took another deep breath, both for Lorelai to see that everything was fine and to bide time for herself. She shifted her gaze back to Jess and spoke directly to him. “I didn’t get the Reston Fellowship.”

“Rory, why didn’t you say something?” Jess asked.

“Because, I knew you’d be getting into college somewhere and I wanted to let you have your moment. I just wanted to celebrate with you. I wanted to let you be as happy as you deserve to be about this, without worrying about me. I was going to tell you after you heard about school. I didn’t want to drag you down.”

Jess sighed and gave her hands a loving squeeze.

“I also had a –oh God, this is so ridiculous, why is this so hard?” Rory’s cheeks flushed and she felt a lump of panic rise in her throat.

“Breathe. Just tell me.”

“I had an interview before I came here for the weekend –with the Providence Journal Bulletin. They offered me a job. But I had no idea if I was going to take it or not. When I got here and found out that you got into the college of your dreams, I wanted to wait to tell you until I knew how I felt about everything. This weekend couldn’t be about me, it had to be about you. I wanted it to be about you.”

“Oh, Rory,” Jess cooed.

“Yeah, if only that were all,” Rory sighed, releasing one of Jess’ hands so that she could face everyone while still holding him close. “But that phone call I took, it was Hugo Gray.”

“The guy you’ve been writing pieces for?” Lorelai asked.

“Yeah.”

“Why’s he calling you on a Sunday?” Luke asked.

“He offered me a job, covering Senator Obama’s presidential campaign,” Rory said shakily.

“What? Rory! That’s unbelievable!” Lorelai cried, rushing over to hug her daughter.

“Rory, that’s amazing!” Luke echoed, following Lorelai over to her.

Liz didn’t know what to say, but she got choked up and gave Rory a joyful hug.

Rory embraced everyone without letting go of Jess’ hand. The two of them locked eyes briefly before the hugging started. Jess eyes had glazed over, brimming with tears that Rory recognized as tears of love and pride. No one could see the gentle circles Jess was tracing on the top of Rory’s hand with his thumb –a private gesture of tenderness that none of the excitement around them could shatter.

“This just happened, just now?” Lorelai asked.

Rory mechanically nodded her head ‘yes’ –all of her ability to form coherent sentences briefly drained below empty.

“My girlfriend’s a rock star,” Jess whispered in Rory’s ear discreetly. “I bet Christiane Amanpour didn’t get the chance to cover a presidential campaign when she was only twenty-two.”

Rory wanted nothing more than to laugh joyfully at Jess’ warmth –to show him that his words did in fact calm her- but she was still so overwhelmed that all she could do was clutch his hand tighter.

“What details did he give you?” Lorelai asked gently. She was dying to know, but she could see how shocked Rory was.

“Not much. But basically everything I need to know to make a decision,” Rory said quietly. “The pay is crap, but all of my expenses would be covered. Hugo’s website doesn’t exactly compete with any major dailies, so I probably won’t be staying in the same swanky hotels as the rest of the reporters, but I’d be on the bus, filing stories with everyone else, right up to the convention.”

“When does he want you to start?”  
             
“Two weeks. Right after I graduate.”

“How long would you be –?”

“Don’t know. Could be two months, could be two years if Obama does well. There’s already lots of buzz around him, so probably closer to the latter. Hugo said –he said if I did well and Obama made it, he’d let me chase him right to the White House. If Obama is elected president, I’m his choice to cover it.”

Jess couldn’t be silent any longer; he had to vocalize his pride. “Holy shit, Ror,” he said as he pulled her into a hug, “that’s so amazing!”

“Yeah, I’m still getting to ‘amazing’. I’m still stuck on ‘what the hell just happened’. Jess,” she turned to him, dangerously close to losing what little composure she had, “I’m so sorry to bombard you with all of this, I didn’t mean to –”

“Get the phone call of a lifetime in the middle of a celebration for me? You’ve got a lot of nerve, Gilmore,” he teased. “Don’t apologize. I will stomp my feet like a five-year-old and refuse to accept it, if you do. I really hope it doesn’t come to that –it’d be kinda embarrassing,” he said gently, kissing the side of her forehead.

“When do you have to tell him your decision?” Luke asked.

“Wednesday. This is insane! I can’t make this kind of decision in three days!”

“Yes you can,” Jess said simply, “you will.”

Rory chewed her bottom lip nervously and started fidgeting where she stood. Were it not for Jess’ firm grip on her hand, she would have fallen over. “I need to –Jess, can I stay here for another day or two, please?” She whispered, as though she were afraid he might refuse.

“You never need to ask. You can stay with me as long as you want, Ror. You know that. But are you sure you don’t wanna go home with your mom and talk everything out with –”

“No,” Rory shook her head quickly, “no, I want to stay here with you. I need to stay here with you.”

“Wow, so _that’s_ what this feels like,” Lorelai teased. “I never thought there’d be a day she talked through stuff like this with a guy before me.”

“Mom, I didn’t mean to –”

“Oh relax, Rory. We both know _exactly_ what type of conversation we’d have about this. There’s plenty of time for that. That conversation isn’t the one you _need_ right now. The one you need to have is with the guy whose hand you can’t let go of. This is where you need to be and I don’t love you any less for it. Good on you sir,” she said, turning to Jess, “for being the only person to see me demoted to runner up. If any guy was gonna usurp my throne, I’m glad it ended up being you and not … anyone else.”

Jess smiled, touched by the sincerity of her statement.

Lorelai walked over to them and held Rory’s face in her hands. “I love you, Rory. You are brilliant and amazing and I’m proud to be your mom. It doesn’t matter what you decide; every day I wake up proud to be your mom.”

“Thanks Mom,” Rory said tearfully.

“Take care of her,” Lorelai whispered to Jess.  
             
“You know I will,” Jess hugged her with his free arm.

“Rory, no matter what you decide, we’re _all_ proud of you,” Luke said lovingly.

“I know,” Rory smiled. “I love you Luke.”

Luke wasn’t sure if Rory had ever said that to him before, in those words. As he hugged her, he felt a lump rise in his throat. “I love you too, kid.”

Liz approached them next.

“I’ll walk you out,” Jess said.

“Don’t be silly,” Liz said, shaking her head. “I came with Luke and Lorelai. You stay here. I’m very proud of you, my beautiful boy. I love you.”

“I know. Thanks. I love you too.”

“Rory, thank you for thinking of me today. It’s a wonderful thing you did for Jess. Don’t worry –whatever decision you make about this job will be the right one.”

“Thanks Liz,” Rory said gratefully.

Once everyone was gone, Jess pulled Rory into a powerful embrace, tugging her by the hand he’d been steadfastly holding since his friends had given them their privacy. Rory wrapped her arms tightly around him and let out a few quiet sobs that she’d been holding in. When she started to tremble, he tightened his hold on her.  
  
Either of them could have spoken at any time –there were any number of loving, encouraging sentiments of pride that Jess could have offered her. But it was not the time for that, just now. Words would come later.

* * *

 “Jess, what am I going to do?” Rory asked as they sat together on his little couch.

“See, the typical response to that would be for me to ask you what you want to do, but I don’t need to ask. I know what you want and so do you. The only reason you’re asking me is because you’re scared. You’re gonna take the job, Rory.”

“It isn’t that simple.”

“Actually, it is. This job is being handed to you; it’s everything you want and it’s being handed to you. All you have to do is take it –and you will,” Jess said.

“I can’t just pick up and leave for God knows how long, Jess.”  
“But it isn’t ‘God knows how long’. It’s two years.”

“Two years isn’t an insignificant period of time.”

“No. It’s not. But it is when you think about two years out of the thirty or forty that will span your entire career.”

Rory opened her mouth to speak again, but Jess cut her off gently before she made a sound.

“I know, you’ll miss your mom; you’ll be sad to leave her for so long and to have a crazy schedule which will mean that you won’t know how often you can see her. You’ll miss Luke; you’ll miss your grandparents. You feel like you can’t possibly just pack a bag and live out of a suitcase and leave your life. But Rory, _this is what you’ve always wanted_. You wouldn’t be leaving your life, you’re going to be out there, chronicling an historic presidential campaign –forging the life you’ve wanted since before I even met you.

“Your mom and Luke aren’t going anywhere. Your grandparents aren’t going anywhere. Stars Hollow isn’t going anywhere. The life you have there won’t go away. Your friends and your family aren’t going to stop loving you. All of it will be waiting for you with open arms whenever you come back. Home never stops being home, but Stars Hollow was never meant to keep you forever, Rory. That place is too small for you. Your dreams are bigger, they always have been.”

“You make it sound so simple,” Rory sighed, staring at her hands. “It’s so easy for you to tell me to just pick up and leave you for two years.”

Jess reached out and snapped her chin up gently with one finger. “You know it isn’t. You know that’s not what I’m saying. Stop it, right now,” he said firmly. “Dealing with another two years of distance made even more complicated by you traveling all over the country will not be easy. I’m going to miss you more than you could possibly know. But do you want to know what is easy? Encouraging the woman I love to take the job of her dreams. I love you, Rory –with everything I am. As the man who loves you, it is _incredibly_ easy to tell you that I know this is what you need to do. Supporting your dreams is not hard.”

“But Jess, I don’t even know –”

“Of course you do, Rory. But turning this around so that you have an excuse to get mad at me or make me get mad at you will not work. If you think I’m going to break up with you, or suggest we cool things off to see ‘where we are later’, then you’re going to be very disappointed. I’m not interested in giving you any kind of ultimatum.

“I’ve always known _exactly_ what your dreams are. I’ve never wanted anything but for you to conquer the world with those dreams. You’re smart, you’re beautiful, you’re strong, you’re sassy and sharp and you take shit from no one.” Jess took a deep breath. “You need to listen to me very carefully, Rory –I’m only going to say this once. I am not Dean; I don’t want you to clean house and cook pot roast. I’m not Logan either; I don’t love you because it suits me –I don’t love you only if I can be superior or force you to be someone you’re not.”

“Jess,” Rory whispered.  
             
“I won’t let you compromise your dreams for me Rory. I will not stop loving you because of them, either. That’s where a lot of this is coming from, isn’t it? You’re scared you’ll lose me?”  
               
“Me going away on a campaign is different than –”

“I know.”

“It’ll be harder.”

“I know.”

“We’re gonna fight.”

“Oh, because we’ve never fought before? Come on, Rory. I will not help you talk yourself out of this. And I’m not going to wake up one day and stop loving you. If you want me out of the picture so that this is easier for you, then you’re going to have to be the one to break up with me because I have no intention of breaking up with you,” Jess said calmly.

“Jess, that’s not what I want,” Rory cried softly. “I love you. I don’t want to be without you.”

Jess reached up and wiped away her tears. “Then what’s the problem?”

“I don’t know –”

“Rory, if you don’t want this, if you’d rather take the job in Providence, then take the job in Providence. If you’re hesitating because you honestly don’t think this is what you want, then that’s fine. But if you’re hesitating on account of me, don’t. I’m not leaving you; I’m not going anywhere. If I was gonna run away from you –from us- I would have done it already.

“You know as well as I do, Obama is poised to make history. Even if you follow another campaign later, it won’t be _this one_. You’re twenty-two, you haven’t even graduated from Yale yet and you’re being given a once in a lifetime opportunity that tons of journalists work their whole lives for and never get, much less right out of college. Every journalist in America wants to work this campaign –hell, even if Obama gets elected and runs for re-election in 2012, it won’t have the buzz that this one does. Something is happening right now Rory, something huge. Every reporter in the world wants to chase this story. Very few people will get that chance. You’re one of the few. You can’t pass this up –you know you can’t.”

“I know,” Rory sighed.

“You need to go conquer the world, Rory Gilmore. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be right here; it’s not like I won’t have anything to keep me busy –between Temple and Truncheon, I’ll have plenty to throw myself into. It’ll be hard on us, sure. It’ll be a long challenging haul and yes, it will get lonely and we will fight. I’m not looking forward to another two years of distance after the year and a half that we’ve already clocked. But in the grand scheme of our entire lives, it’s nothing.

“Whenever Obama is in Philadelphia, you’re sleeping in my bed. I’ll visit you on the road whenever I can. When you have time off for the holidays, I’m in Stars Hollow, no questions asked. We’ll make this work. I promise.”

First thing Tuesday morning, Rory called Hugo and took the campaign job with Jess sitting next to her, holding her hand.

* * *

“You’re reporting on the Obama campaign trail?” Paris asked in shock.

“Yup,” Rory confirmed.

“Wow, that’s seriously impressive. And I am not one who is easily impressed.”

“I know.”

“I might even be a little jealous,”

“You’re not going to start doubting Harvard, are you? I can’t talk you down from a ledge, Paris. I’m still doing my own reeling here.”

“No. No doubts. I will follow your work Gilmore –if it gets sloppy you’ll hear from me.”

“Thanks –I think.”

“So, listen, I need to give you something.”

“Oh?”

“Here,”

Rory looked at Paris’ hand dubiously. “A ticket to graduation? Thanks, that’s very thoughtful, but I think they’ll let me in.”

“It’s not for you, smartass,” Paris snapped. “It’s for Jess. Have you totally forgotten about the four-ticket rule? I assume all your tickets are spoken for, between your mom, Luke and your grandparents.”

“Yeah, they are. The convocation office is supposed to get me another one. I was going to check with them today.”

“Don’t bother. My family won’t be there. The only person who’ll be there on my dance card is Doyle. With three extras, Jess may as well take it.”

“Thank you, Paris,” Rory said gratefully, taking the ticket and hugging her friend.

“Don’t you dare start crying,” Paris said evenly.

* * *

“You told her to take the job, right Lorelai?” Richard asked as they hunted for seats at the convocation ceremony.

“She took the job Dad, but I didn’t tell her to do anything,” Lorelai answered.

“Yes, I know she took the job. But you two discuss everything. You’re telling me you didn’t sway her whatsoever?”

“How many times are you going to ask me this? Did you know that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? Rory’s been making her own decisions for a long time, why would this one be any different?”

“It’s just so odd, Lorelai,” Emily said calmly. “A decision this large and she didn’t even consult you. You consult each other to make sure your hair accessories don’t clash, but this she didn’t talk to you about at all?”

“I was there when she got the call Mom. It’s not like I wasn’t in the loop. She got the call on a Sunday. She accepted the job on a Tuesday morning and then she told you about it three days later at dinner. If you wanted a minute-by-minute breakdown of her thought process then why didn’t you ask her yourself?”

“Oh Lorelai, don’t give your mother grief,” Richard said. “We simply just assumed that you would have had a conversation with her leading up to her decision.”

“Well, I didn’t. I hugged her, I told her I loved her and I was proud of her no matter what she chose to do.”

“She was pretty shell-shocked when we left her Richard,” Luke said. “It wasn’t the time to bombard her with questions.”

“And she came home from Philadelphia, having accepted the job offering no explanation as to how she came to that conclusion?” Emily pressed.

“Why does it matter?” Lorelai sighed. “You’re happy for her. Your pride left you so dumbstruck you both almost poured wine down your front. What difference does it make to know her _exact_ thought process?”

“Really, she stayed an extra day in Philadelphia to be with Jess after getting the news. Lorelai’s not being difficult; neither of us know exactly how they talked it through, besides Jess,” Luke said.

Richard smiled –this explanation suited him just fine. Emily still huffed and puffed.

“Don’t even think about giving him the third degree when he gets here, Mom. It’s none of your business,” Lorelai warned.

Emily rolled her eyes. “Why would I do a thing like that?”

“So, are these seats okay? Can you see the stage?” Luke asked when they found five seats together.  
             
“Perfectly,” Richard said.  
             
“Well, I’m sure someone will take a photo of Rory receiving her diploma close-up,” Emily sneered.  
             
“Mom, if you don’t like these seats, we can go look for others.”  
             
“No. Then we’ll lose these.”  
             
“I can try to find better seats,” Luke offered.  
             
“Luke, these seats are fine,” Richard assured him.  
             
“Hey!” Lorelai said when she saw Jess.

“Hey,” Jess said as he gave Lorelai’s shoulders a squeeze. “Hey Uncle Luke.”

“How are you, Jess?” Emily asked pleasantly, ignoring Lorelai’s warning glares.

“I’m good, Emily,” Jess smiled.

“Rory told us you got into Temple University. That is fantastic. I told you, you had nothing to worry about,” Richard smiled.

“Thank you, I’m pretty excited.”

“If you need help with anything related to your studies, academic or otherwise you just need to call. Anytime.”

“Thanks, Richard. I appreciate that. I imagine I’ll have a few questions –no one in my family has gone to college, so I’ll be flying blind.”

“Ah, I’m happy to help.”

“Jess, you mustn’t be a stranger while Rory’s away. You’re not obligated to regular visits, but we do hope to see some of you,” Emily said.

Jess smiled and ignored the weird feeling in his gut; he knew she was being genuine. “I’ll be around. I’ll try and stop in more than just when I’m with Rory, if I can.”

“That would be nice.”

“So, Jess,” Lorelai said, saving the exchange from becoming awkward, “you be the deciding vote. Are these seats okay, or do you think we should look for better ones?”  
             
“These seem great,” Jess chuckled.  
             
“Really? Because that lady has long hair, and if a breeze blows up, it might…” Lorelai snickered.  
             
“Lorelai, Lorelai, the seats are perfect,” Richard said with a sigh.  
             
“Alrighty,” Lorelai answered, winking at Jess.

“This chair is faulty. Every time I lean from one side to the other, I almost slide off,” Emily complained quietly mere moments before Rory’s name was due to be called.  
             
“Do you want to switch seats?” Jess offered.  
             
“No Jess, you don't need to switch. Emily, your chair’s fine. Just don't lean,” Richard told her.  
             
“But I have to lean,” Emily insisted. “This woman keeps rocking back and forth. It’s like sitting behind Ray Charles.”  
             
Luke and Jess couldn’t help but laugh quietly.  
             
Just then, Paris’ name was announced.

“Oh, Paris!” Lorelai exclaimed subtly, clapping for her. She was surprised to notice that Jess joined her show of support.

“It’s only fair,” he whispered. “She did donate a ticket to ensure I could sit with everyone rather than creep around and stand in the back like a sketchy stranger.”  
             
“You know, I don’t know if any of her family is here, I'm gonna take a picture for Rory,” Lorelai said as she fiddled with the camera and snapped a few shots.  
             
“Honestly, this chair is infuriating,” Emily persisted. “It’s a wonder I haven’t been seriously injured yet.”  
             
“Emily, please. Rory is next,” Richard said exasperatedly.  
             
Lorelai started nervously fiddling with her camera again.

“I can take the photo, Lorelai,” Luke told her.

“Nonsense. I will take the photo. You both need do nothing else but sit there and enjoy watching Rory graduate from Yale. This is as much your moment as Rory’s. Enjoy it,” Richard insisted gently, taking the camera from Lorelai.  
             
When Rory’s name was announced, Jess was instantly overwhelmed. He was so overcome with love and pride that words would have failed if he were required to say anything. This moment was incredibly significant for countless reasons –Jess having missed her Chilton graduation under the circumstances that he did, being able to witness Rory’s graduation from Yale carried with it a depth of meaning that he doubted Lorelai –or even Luke- would understand.

He loved this woman more than anyone else in the world and in that instant, he was as grateful as he’d ever been that the two of them had found their way back to each other despite their troubled past. He was relieved to be secure in the knowledge that they loved each other and were completely devoted to one another.

He even found himself thankful that Logan ended up being a cheating bastard; had he not been, Jess wouldn’t ever have gotten the chance to love Rory the way he should’ve loved her from the start. He was baffled, fleetingly, at how he could possibly be so lucky as to have been given a _third_ chance to love this woman.  
             
There was a slight feeling of bitter sweetness, but even that was beautiful because Jess knew she was getting ready to go out and kick ass at a once-in-a-lifetime, career-defining assignment, and he could not have been happier or more proud of her.

The instant he glimpsed her, Jess sprung to his feet and clapped loudly. As he watched Rory walk across the stage, a quiet sob of pure joy escaped his lips. Tears spilled down his cheeks as he smiled.

Lorelai was surprised and genuinely moved that Jess had beaten her to her feet. “Yay, Rory!” she yelled, tears welling up in her eyes.

When she was midway across the stage, in the moment or receiving her diploma, Rory looked out into the crowd. What she saw took her breath away –her mother and Jess, on their feet and crying in earnest out of pride, love and admiration. Jess caught her gaze and held it; she could see the emotion playing all over his face. Slowly setting the tassel on the left side of her cap, her eyes glazed over with tears and she offered Jess a heartfelt smile.

“I love you,” she whispered, looking right at Jess and knowing he’d be able to read her lips.

Jess smiled wider and clapped louder, “I love you too,” he said quietly, but _just_ loud enough for his words to reach her ears as a faint whisper above all of the clapping and excitement. He winked at her and she saw a single tear tumble sideways out of the corner of his eye.

Jess remained standing until Rory stepped down from the stage, beaming and letting silent tears continue to fall. Their gazes remained locked the entire time.

Rory made her way to sit with the rest of the graduates. Jess caught her hand from his seat at the end of the isle as she walked past; leaving it to fall discreetly out of his hold as she continued to follow the procession of graduates.

He’d been strong for her because that’s what she needed. Everything he told her in Philadelphia was true. But as Rory left the stage and walked back to her seat, in the moment he caught her hand briefly, everything hit Jess like a high tide crashing on the shore. Closing his eyes, his own words rang in his head like a bell: _I’m going to miss you more than you could possibly know._

With only three days left until Rory went away, Jess had to make them count. He had to do everything he could to comfort her and reassure her that he meant what he said. They would have to make a plan for how to stay close, despite the hundreds –and sometimes thousands- of miles that would separate them most of the time.

All of that would come, he was sure. For now he pushed all of it to the back of his mind and focused on the farewell party that he and Luke already had in the works.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This script was a bitch to work with, but it turned out really well. This chapter marks the end of original series run canon!

“Why would Christiane Amanpour be hanging out at the Dragonfly?”  
             
“I don’t know.”  
             
“Because she wouldn't be.”  
             
“But she is!”  
             
“You went up to her and said ‘Hi,’ and she said, ‘Hi, I'm Christiane Amanpour, nice to meet you’?”  
             
Jess laughed quietly sitting beside Rory in Lorelai’s Jeep. She’d woken them up at nine, bursting into the house like a tornado, because Christiane Amanpur was at the Dragonfly and they had to come right now! Jess almost lost an appendage hurrying to put proper clothes on. Rory was in actual pajamas, but Jess couldn’t very well venture out of the house in nothing but boxers.   
             
“No, I didn’t go up to her at all,” Lorelai explained. “I looked and saw that it was her and I went to get you.”  
             
“So I could look at a fake Christiane Amanpour?”  
             
“She might be real, Ror,” Jess winked.  
             
“She _is_ real,” Lorelai insisted  
             
“I guarantee you it’s not her,” Rory said as they entered the Dragonfly.  
             
“You doubt my ability to recognize a glamorous, international war correspondent?”  
             
When Rory peered into the library, she was stunned. “Oh my God, that’s Christiane Amanpour!”

Jess chuckled as Rory squeezed his hand in excitement. “I’ll be damned,” he whispered.  
             
“I can’t meet Christiane Amanpour in my pajamas!” Rory said, suddenly embarrassed. “How long has she been here?!”  
             
“I don’t know –I just saw her eating breakfast and I went home and got you. Hey Michel,” Lorelai tapped Michel’s shoulder, “how long has Christiane Amanpour been here?”  
             
“Ah. She checked in late last night, room seven.”  
             
“She’s staying here? You didn't tell me?”  
             
“I wanted to avoid yet another embarrassing incident,” Michel said sneeringly.  
             
“What are you talking about?”  
             
“You always embarrass yourself when celebrities stay at the inn.”  
             
“I do not.”  
             
"Jane Pauley, Harry Belafonte, Marisa Tomei … I could go on.”  
             
“No, no,” Lorelai said, trying to keep her cool, “Marisa Tomei’s mother’s best friend is my hairdresser’s cousin’s roommate. That's just freaky.”

Jess held his breath to keep from laughing out loud.  
             
“You make them uncomfortable,” Michel said.  
             
“I run an inn. These are my guests. What am I supposed to do –ignore them?”  
             
Michel smiled at this. “I think that might be best.”  
             
“I'm gonna go over and see if she'll meet you,” Lorelai said to Rory.  
             
“What? Okay. Wait. Don't be funny,” Rory warned her. “Come on, Jess,” she said, yanking him by the hand to hide behind the reception desk.  
             
Jess laughed. “We don’t have to hide. You’re gonna go over there and meet her in a second.”

“Don’t touch anything,” Michel said disapprovingly to Jess.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m just gonna mess up your entire booking system, hide your Post-Its somewhere in the kitchen and run all your pens dry,” Jess smirked.

“Insipid author man,” Michel narrowed his eyes and gathered up the Post-Its and pens with him before disappearing. If he could have, he’d have taken the computer too.

Jess and Rory laughed as they watched him leave, before turning their attention to Lorelai.  
             
“Excuse me, Ms. Amanpour?” Lorelai asked, tentatively approaching her where she sat reading a book.  
             
“Yes?” Christiane Amanpour answered.  
             
“Hello, I’m Lorelai Gilmore. I run the inn.”  
             
“It’s very nice to meet you, Mrs. Gilmore. You have a lovely inn.”

“Oh no, please,” Lorelai said with a flick of her wrist, “Mrs. Gilmore is my mother. Call me Lorelai. I’m sorry to bother you, but my daughter is a huge fan of yours, she always has been.”  
             
“That’s very nice to hear. Thank you.”  
             
“She just graduated from Yale. She was the editor of the Yale Daily News.”  
             
“That’s great!”  
             
“Anyway, she’d love to meet you, if that’s okay.”  
             
“I’d love to. Is she here?”  
             
“Yes, she is. Rory, come here,” Lorelai said, enticing Rory over. When she was too stunned to move, Lorelai sighed. “Jess, could you remind our girl how to walk please?”

“Ror, your idol’s right over there. Go!” Jess chuckled light-heartedly.

Rory looked at Jess, excitement spreading across her face, quickly replaced by panic. She grasped his hand tightly. “You have to come with me, please?”  
             
“Fine, silly girl,” Jess said, kissing the side of her head quickly.  
             
Lorelai smiled proudly. “This is my daughter, Rory Gilmore and her boyfriend Jess Mariano –he’s an author, he runs a publishing house in Philadelphia. Rory, meet Christiane Amanpour!”  
             
“Hi, Rory. How are you?” Christiane Amanpour smiled pleasantly, extending her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”  
             
“Nice to meet you, too,” Rory said quietly. “I'm sorry to meet you in my pajamas. I don't usually walk around town like this.”  
             
“That’s okay,” she laughed. “It’s nice to meet you too, Jess,” she extended a hand to him, “you’re an author and you run a publishing house?”

“Yeah,” Jess shrugged. Underneath his calm exterior he was star-struck too.

“Which publishing house is it? What kind of work is published? What kind of work do you write?”

“Truncheon Books. It’s just a small press –five guys putting out about five books a month. I’ve written two short novels of fiction. We publish mostly fiction prose and poetry –and a monthly magazine. We have deals with a few local artists who like to hang stuff up on our walls because we don’t rip them off on commission.”

“That’s quite impressive for someone so young. You can’t be over twenty-five!”

“Not quite twenty-three,” Jess answered bashfully.

“Well, it sounds like a most interesting place. Do you have a card I could take with me? I wouldn’t mind stopping in if I get a chance, next time I find myself out in Philadelphia.”

“You want a –you want my –my card? _You_ want _my_ card?” Jess asked, stunned.

“Yes, I do,” she laughed.

Jess pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and handed her a card.

“Thank you.”

“Ms. Amanpour,” Rory smiled, “I think you are so inspiring. Your reporting is so bold and moving and fascinating and I know you’ve won nine Emmys, but I just don't think that’s enough –not that you care about that kind of thing, but I just want to say thank you.”  
             
Christiane Amanpour smiled gratefully at Rory. “Thank you. Your mother says that you’ve graduated Yale, editor of the Yale Daily News –that’s not bad.”  
             
“Oh, thank you. I’d love to work for a major daily one day.”  
             
“Do you know which one?”  
             
“Don’t have my heart set on any particular one right now. I actually got offered a pretty amazing opportunity a few weeks ago to cover Senator Obama’s presidential campaign for an online magazine I’ve been doing freelance pieces for.”  
             
“Oh my goodness! Countless journalists would kill for that job; everyone wants the opportunity to chronicle Obama’s historic campaign. I didn’t get any opportunities nearly as remarkable as that at such a young age. Did you take the job?”

“Yeah I did. I leave for Sioux City Iowa in two days.”

Jess smiled, both out of pride and because of how right he was –Rory _was_ a rock star.

“You know Rory,” Christiane Amanpour said sincerely, “being awarded this opportunity indicates that you’ve built up quite the reputation for yourself professionally, even before technically entering the workplace. Your writing and journalistic integrity must be exemplary. Working on Obama’s campaign will open up all kinds of doors for you; you’ll be proving to everyone that they’d best not judge you for being as young as you are. I imagine you’ll be quite the force to be reckoned with. You’ll be building up what I’m sure will be a stunning reputation with every story you file.

“After Obama’s campaign, I have no doubt that you to find a job almost anywhere you want. You’ll be filing high quality stories and bolstering the site’s reputation within journalistic circles. Whoever your boss is was incredibly wise to ask you to do this. I have no doubt that after this campaign, you’ll have your pick of choice of almost any daily you want.”  
             
“That’s so nice of you to say! Thank you!”

“I don't often do this, but I’m going to give you my card. If you want to send me some stuff, I'll gladly have a look at it and stay in touch.”

Jess shot Rory a smile.  
             
“Seriously?” Rory asked, taking her card in shock.  
             
“Yes, yeah! In fact, email me with the web address of the online magazine you’re covering the campaign for –I’ll be very interested to read your coverage.”  
             
“Wow! Thank you! I will!” Rory smiled  
             
A car honked its horn. “That’s my cab out there, so I have to get going now. It was really nice to meet you,” Christiane Amanpour reached out to shake Lorelai’s hand.  
             
“Nice to meet you,” Lorelai said with a grateful smile.  
             
“Nice to meet you,” she said to Jess next, reaching for his hand. “All the best.”

“It was great to meet you,” Jess said, smiling.  
             
“Rory, it was my pleasure to meet you. Congratulations on everything you have accomplished. You have an exceedingly bright future ahead of you in journalism –I have no doubt. I look forward to reading your coverage of Obama’s campaign.”  
             
Rory blushed and smiled as she shook her hand. “It was so nice to meet you!”  
             
“Good luck. Take care.”  
             
“Thank you,” Rory said again. After she was gone, Rory was buzzing with excitement. “I can't believe I just met Christiane Amanpour in my pajamas!”

“I can’t believe Christiane Amanpour asked for my _card!_ ” Jess exclaimed.  
             
“See? You both made an impression,” Lorelai smiled proudly.

* * *

“I don’t know, I think it would have made more sense to get a regular-sized shampoo bottle instead of twenty tiny ones,” Rory said as she walked along the street with Lorelai.

“With the big bottle you’d have to lug it off and on the bus.”  
             
“Lug?! How big do they make them?”  
             
“The little bottles give you just as much shampoo without the weight. Perfect for travel –plus, they're cute,” Lorelai reasoned.  
             
“Fine. Oh, I want to stop by the post office. I want to get tons of blank postcards. You are gonna get so many postcards.”  
             
“You could just e-mail me.”  
             
“It’s always nice to get real mail.”  
             
“Just make sure you don’t mistakenly send me a postcard meant for Jess,” Lorelai winked.

“Mom!” Rory blushed. “You think I have no appreciation for the type of correspondence that has no business being written on a postcard?”

“Sexy emails?”

Rory said nothing and just walked faster.

“Ha!” Lorelai laughed. “Sexy emails! Good girl. You gotta keep the fire burning somehow. Okay, so, back to our original topic. What else do you need?”  
             
“A mini book light –I had a mini book light, but I lent it to Paris. And by ‘lent’, I mean she totally stole it.”  
             
“I think we have a mini book light in the lost and found at the inn. Maybe you should adopt it and give it the love it needs. Hey, I have a great idea,” Lorelai crossed the street and headed towards Miss Patty’s. “Remember last year when Miss Patty hurt her back during rehearsal for spring fling?”  
             
“Yeah, she should have never demonstrated the Jetés for the little daffodils,” Rory laughed.  
             
“She has one of those back support things that you put on top of chairs. I bet she’d loan it to you.”  
             
“Do I really want to be known as ‘back-support-thingy girl’?”  
             
“Hello, two-hour speech, metal folding chairs, and ‘Now I'll take questions for an hour.’”  
             
“Just call me ‘back-support-thingy girl,’” Rory sighed  
             
Lorelai was surprised that the door to Miss Patty’s was locked. “That's weird. She never locks this,” she said, knocking on the door. “Miss Patty?”  
             
“Miss Patty?” Rory called.  
             
Miss Patty yanked the door open just enough to poke her head out. “Hello, girls.”   
             
“Hi, is everything okay?” Lorelai asked.  
             
“Oh, yes, everything is fine,” Miss Patty assured her. “I’m consulting with my muse.”  
             
Rory cocked her head. “Your muse?”  
             
“Yes! Whenever I want to think up a new dance routine, I come in here alone, lie down on the floor in the dark and I let the muse inspire me. Did you want something?”  
             
“That’s okay,” Lorelai said. “We’ll come back when you're not with your muse.”  
             
“Okay, good.”  
             
“Okay, well, so we’ll –”  
             
Before Lorelai could finish speaking, Miss Patty slammed the door shut.  
             
“Odd!” Rory said in surprise.  
             
“Very odd,” Lorelai agreed as they walked away.

* * *

Almost the entire town of Stars Hollow was standing in the dark with their backs pressed against the wall as they waited for Lorelai and Rory to move on.

“Good. Let's get this meeting going!” Babette said excitedly.  
               
“Once again, this is not a ‘meeting’, per se,” Taylor said patronizingly. “We have already broken several Robert’s rules of order.”  
             
“Who the hell is Robert?” Jess asked.

“I still don’t know why _he_ has to be here,” Taylor sighed.

“I’m Rory’s boyfriend, Taylor. Have been for a year and a half. Deal with it.”

“Yes, well, I was hoping that was just a bout of temporary insanity on Rory’s part,”

“Nope, you’re stuck with me,” Jess smiled sarcastically. “Believe me, I’m feeling some pain of my own. Get over it. Don’t tell your imaginary friend Robert that we’re breaking his ‘rules’.”  
             
“Who cares about the rules? It’s Rory, for God’s sake,” Lane piped up.

“So lets start divvying up the duties,” Babette suggested. “Who’s gonna do the food?”

“I’ve got hot dogs and hamburgers and a couple of big grills in the square,” Luke said. “Sookie's got the rest covered, right Jackson?”  
             
“She’s at home baking right now. You name the fruit and it’ll be in one of her pies,” Jackson confirmed.  
             
“I'd like a blackberry,” Kirk said.  
             
“She makes a wicked blackberry and cranberry.”  
             
“What about cherry?” Miss Patty asked. “Cherry is a classic.”  
             
“Please,” Taylor yelled. “Could we stay focused? This gathering is unofficial and as such I would like to have it over with as soon as possible. Now Luke, I assume you’ve obtained permits to use two large grills with open flame on our town square?”  
             
“I don’t have any permits,” Luke sighed. “Do we really need to go through all this, Taylor?”  
             
“Outdoor barbecuing without a permit is a violation of town codes.”  
             
“If this meeting is unofficial, then whatever you say is unofficial!” Jess barked. “Luke’s barbecuing. What else?”  
             
“Music,” Lane said.  
             
“Lane, do you and Zach have a good sound system?”  
             
“You know it!”  
             
“Okay, what about decorations?”  
             
“Lulu has a bunch of stuff left from a school birthday party –Mylar balloons, streamers,” Kirk offered.

“Done,” Jess said.  
             
“There are not going to be any Mylar balloons. They are infamous for floating up and catching on power lines. It could cause an outage for the whole town,” Taylor interjected.  
             
“The closest power lines are six miles out of town,” Luke said, getting annoyed.  
             
“Nonetheless –”  
             
“Nonetheless, Kirk, tell Lulu to bring those balloons and whatever else she’s got!” Luke yelled.  
             
“You people are violating town ordinances left and right. This is highly irregular,” Taylor complained.  
             
“Dude! You’re highly irregular!” Jess screamed.  
             
“Excuse me?”   
             
“I don't know what your problem is, Taylor. But the town wants to throw this party. You’re either gonna join us or you’re gonna stay home and comb your beard,” Luke spat.  
             
Everyone in attendance hooted and hollered and cheered in agreement.  
             
“We’re gonna need chairs and tables and volunteers to set them up around the gazebo. We’ll get started in the square tonight after dark, okay?” Luke told everyone.

* * *

“You should come along, it’d be fun,” Rory said as she walked hand-in-hand with Jess.

“No, you need some alone time with Lane,” Jess said softly.  
             
“Yeah, but it’s cutting into our you-and-me time.”  
             
“There's plenty of time.”  
             
“Thirty-six hours is not plenty of time.”  
             
“Ror, it’s okay. I don’t need to be with you every minute until you leave. Lane’s your best friend. Besides, your mom asked me to go to Sookie and Jackson’s to get you that fanny pack.”  
             
“Ugh, don’t remind me. I can’t believe she honestly thinks I’d wear a fanny pack.”   
             
“You think Tom Brokaw's mother sent him off to his first campaign with no fanny pack?” Jess laughed. “What if Obama wants a piece of gum, but no one has any? And then someone says, ‘What about that girl with the lime green fanny pack?’”  
             
“I would be ‘lime green fanny pack girl.’”  
             
“Yeah, but just imagine: they bring you over to him and he says, ‘Hello young lady, what’s your name?’ And then you would get to say, ‘I’m Rory Gilmore. Here’s your gum.’ And just like that, you’re gum buddies with the future president of the United States!”  
             
“Oh when you put it that way –gum buddies,” Rory giggled.

* * *

“Billy Fink,” Lane said.

“How did I not know this?” Rory asked.  
             
“I was too ashamed to ever tell you. I mean how would you feel if your first kiss was Billy Fink?” Lane chuckled. “How weird is this? Yesterday we’re sitting on your porch playing jacks and praying to grow boobs, and now look at us. I have a husband and two babies in there, and you’re about to go off and conquer the world, or at least write about it.”  
             
“Babe,” Zach said, poking his head out of the doorway. “Can I talk to you a sec?”  
             
“Sure what’s up?”  
             
“In private.”  
             
“I'll be right back,” Lane said, getting up.  
             
“Sorry, Rory,” Zach said.  
             
“The kids okay?” Lane asked when they’d retreated inside.  
             
“Sound asleep. But I just got a call from Luke and they want to start setting up the square for tomorrow.”  
             
“Yeah, so?”  
             
“The honouree is sitting on our porch looking out onto the square and they can’t set up until she goes home.”  
             
“It’s my last night with my best friend,” Lane snapped.  
             
“Well, could you move it along, because it's getting late and we were just trying –”  

Lane cut him off with a dirty look.

“You’re done when you’re done,” Zach sighed. “I’ll let them know.”  
             
“Sorry about that,” Lane said, sitting down outside. She noticed that Rory looked sad. “What's wrong?”  
             
“I don't know,” Rory sighed. “In the past two minutes, sitting here, I’ve managed to completely freak myself out. I haven’t really had a chance to stop and think about it, but I just stopped and thought and I’m really nervous.”  
             
“Rory, you’re gonna do an amazing job, okay? You always do.”  
             
“See? I hate that.”  
             
Lane was suddenly confused. “What?”  
             
“Everyone thinking I'm gonna do an amazing job all the time, like it's a given. It’s not a given. What if I’m a terrible reporter?” Rory asked, her eyes starting to well up.  
             
“Then you’ll figure out how to get better. Rory, the reason why everybody knows you’re gonna do an amazing job is because everybody knows _you_. Yeah, you’re gonna be nervous. I mean I was nervous before I had the babies. I was throwing up all the time.”  
             
“You were pregnant,” Rory pointed out gently.  
             
“True,” Lane nodded. “But that was thirty per cent pregnancy, seventy per cent fear of being the world's worst mom.”  
             
“I just don't know about just picking up and leaving until who knows when and leaving Mom, and Jess –see? I’m not ready. What reporter freaks out about leaving their mom?”  
             
“The lucky kind. And Jess will be fine –he loves you so much, Rory. I’ll look out for him, I promise. Call him, check on him, make him hang out with me here –the works.”  
             
“Jess is your friend, Lane. He came to your baby shower and painted two adorable onesies, because he wanted to. He’ll hang out with you because he wants to, not because you make him,” Rory sighed. “But thank you. It’ll make me feel better, you two looking out for each other.”  
             
“How’s your mom holding up?”  
             
“She’s making lists and sending Jess to get fanny packs. She’s not even a little bit sentimental.”  
             
“I'm sure she’s freaking out on the inside.”  
             
"I don't know. Maybe,” Rory sighed again. “Lane…”  
             
“Yeah?”  
             
"I just… your friendship means so much to me. It’s so...”  
             
“Me, too,” Lane smiled, swallowing the lump in her throat.

* * *

“Hey, guys, only six chairs to a table,” Luke said. “Jess, can you help Kirk and Lulu with the lights?”

Jess sighed. “Do you _want_ me to get arrested for murder? After everything I’ve done to get my life on track?”  
             
Luke laughed. “Fair point. Go find Zach then, get him to do it okay? Kirk, be careful stringing those lights! One of those light bulbs blows and the whole thing’s useless.”  
             
“Luke! Luke!” Babette screamed as she ran towards him.  
             
“Babette! Over here.”  
             
“Oh, Luke! My ankles! Look at my ankles!”  
             
“Should I ask why?”  
             
“Bad news, doll, it’s gonna rain. My ankles haven’t been this swollen since hurricane Bob. I checked the weather channel, and sure enough, Nick Walker confirmed it. There’s a storm front moving in over Connecticut.”  
             
“I walked in on the wrong part of this conversation,” Jess said. “Wait, it’s gonna rain tomorrow?”  
             
“First thing in the AM, Nick Walker –you a Nick Walker fan, Jess?”  
             
“No.”

“Oh, you should be. He's just terrific –always dead on and so charming. Anyway, he says it’s definite. Sorry for the bad news, but Luke knows my ankles.”

Jess cocked an eyebrow at his uncle.  
             
“It’s true, Jess,” Luke confirmed. “Babette’s ankles are never wrong.”  
             
“Whatever you say,” Jess said sceptically.  
             
“Oh, what a shame,” Babette sighed. “Too bad you can’t fit the whole town in the diner, Luke.”  
             
“What we gonna do, Uncle Luke?”  
             
“I can’t believe it’s gonna rain tomorrow,” Luke sighed.

The wheels in Luke’s brain were churning to find a solution, but it wouldn’t hit him until he found his bait and tackle box under the counter in the diner. He ran outside to Jess and told him to gather everyone’s raincoats and all the tarps he could find.

* * *

Luke and Jess stayed up all night, sewing everything together. Jess was actually pretty good at it, once Luke taught him how to thread the needle and what stitch to use. They bantered back and forth like two old ladies, just like they always used to. But unlike when Jess was a teenager, the banter dissolved into laughter a lot easier than it used to.

“I’m really going to miss her, Luke,” Jess said quietly, without taking his eyes off the sewing.

“I know, Jess,” Luke sighed. “Do you regret encouraging her to take this job?”

“Not in the least. It’s what she needs to do.”

“Are you worried that you might not be able to keep your promises to her?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, that you can make it work for two whole years while she’s away following a presidential campaign around the country?”

“I couldn’t live with myself if I pushed her to do anything other than what I _know_ she wants. I’ll say the same thing to you that I said to her, which is that I would never want her to compromise her dreams for me. I’m not going to stop loving her for following her dreams. The Obama campaign is literally a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and if she passed it up, she’d regret it. I can’t imagine my life without her, Luke –two years in the grand scheme of her whole career and our entire lives is nothing.”

“Two years isn’t exactly a short period of time.”

“I know that.”

“I can’t think of many people who would willingly sign up for a long distance situation like the one you’re about to be in.”

“I love her Luke. That’s it. Supporting her dreams was never actually a choice. She’ll be gone for two years and I’ll be in school the whole time.

“Working this campaign will open all sorts of doors for her –hopefully she’ll be able to find a job relatively easily and wherever she wants. Rory and I have already talked about her focusing on finding jobs in Philadelphia after the campaign, since I’ll still be at Temple.

“We have no idea what the next two years will be like, we just have to take it one step at a time. After that, I’m hoping we can just be a normal couple. Living in the same city will be nice. _Really_ nice. I can’t wait to fight about boring stuff, like hogging covers or whose turn it is to take out the garbage.”

Luke couldn’t help but smile. “You really do want to share your life with her.”

* * *

“Why is no one picking up their phones? I want to say goodbye to everyone,” Rory sighed. “Jess wasn’t even in my room when I woke up this morning.”

“Huh,” Lorelai said, “Luke was gone this morning too.”  
             
“Weird. Holy crap, it’s really pouring.”

It was raining so hard that Lorelai and Rory could barely see across the street.  
             
“We’ll track them all down, I promise,” Lorelai said. Suddenly, she gasped. “Rory, look!”  
             
All of Stars Hollow was gathered under a giant makeshift tent, cheering at the top of their lungs. There was a massive banner that read _Bon Voyage Rory_!  
             
“I think you’re gonna get to say goodbye to everybody,” Lorelai smiled.  
             
Rory was speechless. “Did you –?”  
             
“No, I didn't do a thing.”

Jess and Luke came running out from the tent, each of them huddled under a giant umbrella. Jess grasped Rory’s hand tightly and helped her out of the Jeep while Luke did the same for Lorelai.

“You did all this?” Rory shouted over the pouring rain.

Jess smirked and shrugged. “Luke, too.”

Rory smiled widely in disbelief. She’d never loved Jess more than she did in this very moment.

Lorelai had tears in her eyes by the time she came around the front of the Jeep. All four of them made a run for it –both Gilmore girls hand-in-hand with their loves.  
             
“We love you, Rory!” Lane’s voice could be heard shouting above the crowd.  
             
“We love you, Rory!” Miss Patty echoed.  
             
“We’re so proud of you!” Babette said tearfully.  
             
“Wow,” Lorelai said, taking in the sight.  
             
“Wow,” Rory whispered, completely overwhelmed.  
             
“We couldn’t let you go without a party,” Jess whispered casually.

Rory looked at Jess and pulled him tight against her, catching his lips in a passionate kiss. The town ‘ooo-ed’ and ‘ahh-ed’ like high schoolers. Lorelai soon followed suit with Luke and everyone erupted into even louder cheers.  
             
“I see your grandparents. I'll be right back!” Jess told Rory before running over to greet them. “Hey guys, thanks so much for coming.”  
             
“This is quite a party,” Richard smiled.

“We couldn’t miss this, Jess –we’re her grandparents!” Emily said, taking in the sheer size of the event. “You and Luke planned all this?”

“Well, the whole town pulled together, but it was our brainchild, yeah,” Jess said.

“It’s just wonderful,” Emily said, getting misty eyed.  
             
“Hey Mom! Hey Dad!” Lorelai said, coming over to them. “Jess, Luke is looking for you. He needs help with the barbecues.”

“On it,” Jess said.

“I can't believe they did all this for her,” Lorelai said quietly, shaking her head in awe as she stood with her parents.  
  
“I don’t think this is all for Rory,” Richard said sincerely. “I think this party is a testament to you, Lorelai, and the home you’ve created here. I regret that you needed –”  
             
“Richard,” Emily cut in.  
             
“Let me finish, Emily. I regret it. Recent experience has taught me –”  
             
Emily sighed. “Oh, please don’t become one of those ‘I had a heart attack, let me express my every thought’ types.”  
             
“Not every thought, dear, just this one. It takes a r–” Richard’s voice cracked with emotion. He took a deep breath, “a remarkable person to inspire all of this.”  
             
“Thanks, Dad,” Lorelai said, swallowing the lump in her throat.  
             
“Okay, that’s enough,” Emily said evenly, after a pregnant pause. “It’s not as though the two of you are saying goodbye.”  
             
“May I have your attention, please?” Taylor said from the stage that was set up. “I’d like to welcome you all to this Bon Voyage party in honour of one of Stars Hollow’s favourite daughters, Ms. Rory Gilmore!”  
             
“Brava! Brava!” Richard cheered.  
             
“Rory, would you like to say a few words?” Taylor asked.  
             
Rory blushed, gave Jess a kiss and made her way to the stage. “I love this place. I just loved growing up here, and I love all of you. Thank you so much for doing all of this. It’s amazing. I just –it’s so –oh, I'm on the verge of gushing, so I'm just gonna stop myself here. I don't want to gush. But, –to my Mom, who is just everything to me –everything I am and who I'm gonna miss so much.”

Lorelai locked eyes with Rory and gave her a tearful nod.

“Alright everyone, let’s get this party started!” Jess shouted excitedly.

* * *

“I can’t believe you and Luke did all that for me,” Rory said quietly, wrapped in Jess’ arms in her bedroom. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Jess whispered.

“How are we going to do this, Jess?”

“One step at a time. One day at a time.”

“You sound awfully calm,”

“Rory, look at me,” Jess said, propping her chin up. “I don’t have a crystal ball. I don’t know how this is going to go. Neither of us have done this before. I’m calm because of what I _do_ know. I love you, Rory Gilmore. That’s not going to change.”

Rory sighed against Jess’ chest. When her tears dampened his shirt, Jess could literally _feel_ his heart starting to hurt. He missed her already and she was still wrapped up in his arms.

“I have something for you,” he whispered.

Rory looked at him questioningly. “You didn’t have to –”

“I know. But I wanted you to have something. Something –” he paused to swallow his tears, “something you can look at and see, to be reminded of everything I told you when we talked about you taking this job.”

Jess reached into his pocket and pulled out a rose gold Claddagh ring.

“Jess, it’s beautiful.”

“Do you know what it means?”

“I –I don’t remember, exactly –”

“The hands are for friendship, the crown represents loyalty and the heart is love.” Jess took a hold of Rory’s right hand and slipped the ring onto her middle finger. “Wear it with the heart pointing towards you. It means you belong to someone.”

“Jess,” Rory cried softly.

“Every time you look at this, I want you to remember everything I told you, okay? Whenever you need to be reminded of how much I love you and how proud I am of you, you just look at your hand. Anytime you worry that my feelings might be wavering –when we fight over stupid stuff because we’re away from each other, just look at the ring Rory. Look at the ring and remember –you have me; you have my heart. I’m yours.”

Jess kissed Rory, deep and slow. Shifting so that he hovered above her, he undressed her slowly, shedding his own clothing as well. When Rory tried to speed up the pace, he wouldn’t let her; Jess was determined to make love to her –in every sense of the word.

He showered kisses all over her skin, wanting to taste every inch of her. He kissed the soft skin on the inside of her elbows and sucked gently at the pulse points on her wrists and neck. Rory whimpered and sighed underneath him.

Inching his way down her body with his mouth, he kissed her breasts and sucked on her nipples. Rory arched her back and massaged Jess’ scalp with her fingers, telling him exactly what she wanted without saying a word. When he’d kissed his way down between her legs, Jess reached up and found both of Rory’s hands with his, intertwining their fingers. He paused and pulled his head back slightly to breathe in her scent. Clenching his jaw at the intensity of his own emotions, when he exhaled his breath tickled Rory’s sensitive skin.

Jess coxed her slowly with his tongue. He took his time, kissing her, licking her, drinking her in. Even when Rory started to writhe into his mouth, his intimate caresses were leisurely and worshipful. He had no desire for this to be over in a hurry –she could sleep on the flight to Iowa.

Jess took his time, which meant that Rory’s pleasure was intense and lasting. Just when she thought the white-hot coil inside her was going to snap, he would change the movement of his tongue, holding her so close that his nose tickled her damp, delicate flesh.

When Rory peaked, it was signalled by small things: her breath hitched, she bit her lip and gripped Jess’ hands tighter. Jess stayed right where he was, savouring every tiny twitch.

Releasing her hands only to crawl up her skin and align his body with hers, he captured her mouth in a fierce kiss as he interlocked their fingers once again and pushed inside of her. Jess moved within her in long, gentle and strong thrusts. His mouth never left hers. They swallowed each other’s moans of pleasure with the depth of their kisses.

When Jess knew they were both close, he released Rory’s lips and pressed his forehead against hers. They stared into each other’s eyes and breathed in sync. As their breaths became ragged, so too did their emotions. Tears clouded their vision and they came together with a cry –actual, genuine cries.

* * *

The next morning, Luke opened the diner early for a very special breakfast. Lorelai, Rory, Jess and Luke all ate together while all of Stars Hollow were still sleeping.  
  
The goodbyes at the airport were the hardest of Rory’s young life. She clung to Jess’ side until the last possible moment.

After saying goodbye to Lorelai and Luke, she embraced Jess last.

Rory’s schedule with the campaign was still a mystery to her, beyond Iowa and the stops that followed immediately afterward. She had no idea when she’d see her loved ones next, but it would likely be a few months at least.

Lorelai could not contain her emotions, but Luke and Jess stayed stalwart and strong. Jess shed no tears of his own, but instead focused on wiping away Rory’s. He placed a sweet kiss on her ring right before she had no choice but to tear herself away.

All three of them stood and watched until Rory disappeared into the departures area. When she was gone, Lorelai and Luke turned slowly to leave, but Jess didn’t move a muscle. He didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath until he felt Lorelai’s hand on his shoulder.

“Come on Jess,” Lorelai whispered. “Let’s go home.”

“I miss her already,” Jess choked out, “and she’s still here. She’s not even gone yet.”

“I know. Me too. Love sucks, huh?”

“No,” Jess smirked. “It really doesn’t.”

“That’s exactly the right answer, kid.”

“How am I gonna do this? I can’t feel like this for two years.”

“Yes you can. How you’re feeling right now is how you’ll _survive_ two years,” Lorelai assured him.

“But what about –?”

“The day-to-day of the next two years?”

“Yeah.”

            “That is the part, dear mini-Stallone, that remains to be seen.”


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am not skipping over Rory's time on the campaign. I am Canadian and I know comparatively little about American politics. I researched, a lot and found a timeline of Obama's campaign that gave me dates, where he was and transcriptions of his speeches and remarks.

May 31, 2007

_Dear Jess,_

_I filed my very first story! Obama was at the University of Iowa, discussing healthcare. He told a heartbreaking story of a family dealing with a number of unexpected illnesses who had to file for bankruptcy to pay for the life-saving medical care that was needed. He said that as a country, this is not who we are. It was so inspiring. I really think he’s going to push for the implementation of some type of universal healthcare system. After all, Canadians don’t have to pay for every cotton ball, syringe and set of medical gloves that have to be used in order to treat them, so why should we? It’s crazy. His remarks were so refreshing! I’m already hoping that one day soon I’ll be able to call him President Barack Obama._

_I’ve met some of the other reporters and wow, do I feel like the Doogie Howser of this bunch. As soon as I thought of that, I remembered when you came to my grandparents place two years ago and assumed that I’d graduated already. Even when you said it then, I secretly wished I could have told you that yes, that’s exactly what it was –I’d graduated already, obviously. I’m going to feel like Doogie Hoswer for this whole campaign, which will not help when it comes to missing you._

_I miss you so much, Dodger. I’ve barely been gone for… ugh. I don’t even want to think about it. Mom and Luke are doing good, though you probably know that. My grandmother’s already complaining that I’m not keeping in touch very well. Does she not understand that I’m reporting on a presidential campaign?_

_I hope Truncheon and the guys are good. Tell them I miss them too!_

_Have you registered for classes yet? If you haven’t, it must be coming up soon. You won’t have many electives first year, but hopefully what they require you to take will be interesting. I loved most of what I did in first year, except for the part where I was advised to drop a class –that part was less fun. Anyway, let me know when you’ve registered, I’m super interested to hear what you’re taking!_

_Looking at my ring before I fall asleep is the only way I can get a decent night’s rest. Pretty soon this campaign is gonna run me ragged. Sleeping in different places all the time is going to be really hard._

_I just keep wishing you were closer; somehow the distance thing feels different, not being in the same place in relation to you. I haven’t even been gone that long yet and on nights that I don’t have at least one dream involving you, I feel cheated._

_… I can sense you might be laughing at me right now. If you are, then stop. I can’t help being all mushy._

_Obama’s in Hartford on June twenty-third; I’d love it if you could meet me there, but I’m going to try and stay with my grandparents that night. If I could see you during the day, or after the event, that’d be amazing. I’m not exactly sure when it’s happening yet though, so I’ll get back to you on that._

_Mark your calendar! I’ll be in Philadelphia on July fifth! Obama’s speaking to the National Education Association. The fifth is a Thursday, so we’re staying in Philadelphia for the weekend I think. After that it’s D.C. on the eighteenth. We have to do something for your birthday, okay? It’s so very considerate of them to place the Senator in Philadelphia on my boyfriend’s birthday weekend. Start thinking of what you want to do. Let’s plan to do something on the Saturday, the seventh. If I can, I’ll be with you on your actual birthday, but I don’t know if they’re going to cram another event in a different city before we go to D.C., so planning for the Saturday is safest, I think._

_I love you so much! Email me back soon!_

_-Rory  
_

* * *

When Jess opened up his email on the morning of June first, he was going to be very content to write Rory a tender reply letter until he read that she was going to be in Philadelphia. At first he didn’t even notice the date, but when he re-read her words to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, he saw that he was going to get to see her for his birthday. Jess went from a guy who never cared about his birthday to suddenly _loving_ his birthday in a matter of seconds.

A reply to her email suddenly felt insufficient. He wanted to hear her voice; he wanted her to hear his –how happy he was. Jess couldn’t remember what the time difference was between Iowa and Philadelphia, or even if Rory was technically still in Iowa. Her phone rang and rang until the voicemail picked up.

“Rory! I read the story you filed on Obama’s speech on healthcare and it was amazing. I’ll come to Hartford on the twenty-third; let me know when you know about timing. I’ll stay in Stars Hollow above the diner the night before and come out to Hartford whenever you happen to finish up. I’m assuming the evening will be a family affair; it’s a good thing your grandparents like me now. July fifth is inked in; I can’t believe you’ll be here for my birthday –that’s all I want, just you… naked, in my bed. I hope you’re not in a room full of people when you listen to this –if you are, sorry for the blushing and giggling you may or may not be able to explain. I love you Ror; okay, bye.”

* * *

When she realized she’d missed Jess’ call, it made her sad –sadder than it really should have.

"Jess! I’m so sorry I missed your call. The thing in Hartford on the twenty-third is in the evening, so I have Sunday. We hit the road first thing in the morning on the twenty-fifth. I still don’t know where we’re going, all I know is they hate holes in the schedule, so they filled it with something. We won’t have any alone time, but it’s better than nothing, I guess. And don’t worry, after Obama’s speech on July fifth, I plan to develop a hatred of clothing until I leave Philadelphia. Love you.”

Rory left the message for Jess right before getting on the phone with Hugo to discuss her story on Obama’s healthcare remarks. Her phone buzzed with an incoming text while she was in the middle of her conversation.

_Don’t worry your pretty little head about not getting alone time together while you’re in Hartford. We get to spend time together, that’s all that really matters. We’ll make up for it when you’re in Philly. Naked. All. The. Time. Get excited._

Rory laughed when she saw his message and texted right back: _Oh, I am._

_I can barely contain myself just thinking about it. Alright, you’re busy. I love you Rory. I’m so proud of you. I’ll send you a proper response to your email by tomorrow –promise. xoxo  
_

* * *

June 2, 2007

_Dear Rory,_

_You are definitely Doogie Howser. Don’t let it freak you out too much, you know what you’re doing –you earned your place among the rest of those reporters, don’t ever doubt that._

_Your first story was so great. It sounds like Obama’s making the right kind of waves already. I don’t know why we don’t already have some kind of universal healthcare system. Greed should not interfere with health matters –we could really stand to learn something from Canada and all the other countries that have universal healthcare in place. Obama’s right: bankrupting people in this way isn’t who we are as a country, or it shouldn’t be, anyway._

_Truncheon’s good, the guys are good. They all say hi and send their love. Nothing much has changed around here in terms of day-to-day stuff. I’m starting to talk to the guys about how to redistribute some of my responsibilities when I start school. Whether I like it or not, I’m going to have to at least take a small step back. But the good thing about living where I work is that I can get stuff done at any time._

_I’ve been hearing from Luke and Lorelai a lot and it’s only been a few weeks. I’m worried they might think I’m in a pit of despair or something. But it’s nice of them to care so much. Wow, did you ever think you’d see the day when I said that?_

_Lane’s even been calling me. I forgot how much we have in common. Zach’s going on tour for a few months, so I’m going to try and get to Stars Hollow every couple of weeks while he’s gone –hang out, probably get roped into helping with the babies, avoid Mrs. Kim at all costs. Actually, there’s an idea: whenever Mrs. Kim graciously offers (but does Mrs. Kim ever graciously offer to do anything?) to take the babies for a while to give Lane a break, I can swoop in to take her mind off Mommy-related stuff._

_I haven’t registered for school yet –I think my registration date is at the beginning of July. I’ll tell you more about it when I see you on the twenty-third, but the course requirements don’t seem too bad. It all seems like stuff I’m interested in. I think I might take a few philosophy courses as electives, maybe sociology. I haven’t really decided yet._

_I miss you too, Ror. All the time. It is weird and very different now that you’re moving around everywhere –I feel it too. I like it when I dream about you. My favourite dreams are the X-rated ones –there’ve been a few of those. Remind me to tell you about them when you’re here. Dreams are never as good as the real thing…._

_I’m glad to hear that the Claddagh ring is reminding you of everything it’s supposed to. That’s exactly why I gave it to you. I don’t think what you said is silly at all; I didn’t laugh. It made me feel good._

_I love you, Rory. Talk soon._

_-Jess  
_

* * *

“Oh my God, I can just see you playing with the babies, holding them like little footballs and yelling at them playfully when they’re both crying,” Rory giggled as she talked to Jess on the phone a few days after getting his email.

“You forgot to mention how quickly I’ll be getting myself and Lane out of dodge when Mrs. Kim shows up,” Jess laughed.

“Right, of course. I think it’s great though. It’s nice that you guys are hanging out.”

“Yeah, it is. How’s Virginia?”

“Good. His speech was to a bunch of ministers though. Not the most exciting thing,”

“Don’t tell the ministers that, lest they smite you down.”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Your stories are really well done, Ror. What does Hugo have to say about your work?” Jess asked.

“He’s really happy,” Rory smiled.

Jess heard her smile and it made him smile too. “Of course he is. So where are you off to next?”

“Spartanburg, South Carolina.”

“Holy shit, there’s actually a city called _Spartanburg_? How very American…”

“Yeah, Mom had fun with that one. The never-ending references…”

“I can imagine,”

“I can’t wait to see you, Jess.”

“I can’t wait either, Ror. I’m marking the days already.”

“Till Hartford, or Philadelphia?”

“Both, but only because Hartford comes first.”

“Mmmhmmm. Eagerly waiting for me to develop my aversion to clothing, are you?”

“Of course,” Jess grinned. “What’s the plan for the Sunday in Hartford?”

“I’m not sure yet,” Rory said.

“No worries.”

“Jess, I’m sorry, I have to go.”

Jess sighed to himself; sometimes he hated being a grown up. Certain aspects of life were a lot simpler when he could just be mad and refuse to deal with things. Being mature was hard work. “It’s okay, Ror. Email me tonight. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Rory sighed sadly.

“You’re working your dream job Rory, you shouldn’t sound so glum.”

“I know, it’s just –”

“I know. Look at your ring. I bet pretty soon you’re gonna get so into this campaign you might have times where you forget all about your boyfriend in Philadelphia where? Truncheon what?” Jess teased.

“Not funny, Jess,” Rory said, her voice trembling slightly.

“Come on, Rory. Lighten up. Let yourself enjoy what you’re doing.”

Rory sighed again, but didn’t respond.

“You have to go,”

“I do,” she whispered.

“I love you, Rory. I’m not hanging up the phone until you can say it back without sounding like you’re about to cry.”

“We agreed to never hang up angry; we never made a rule about not hanging up when we’re sad.”

“Well, I’m making a new rule, then. And I’m invoking it now,” Jess said.

Rory took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I love you, Jess.”

Jess smiled. “Good girl. Was that so hard? I love you. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“Bye.”

Jess hung up the phone and was instantly out of breath. He sighed deeply and collapsed sideways onto his pillow with a soft thud. Being strong was exhausting.

* * *

Rory’s phone rang just as she was pulling into her grandparents driveway after Obama’s event in Hartford the night of June twenty-third. She’d been able to come by earlier in the afternoon and spend some time with both of them before Richard graciously offered to let Rory take his Jaguar to the event, so that she could just come right back to the mansion afterwards.

“What are you still doing up, Grandpa?” She asked when she came in to find Richard sitting in the living room.

“I figured I’d wait up for you. What with you being gone so much, I felt bad going to bed before you got home,” Richard said.

“That’s really sweet, but it’s late. Aren’t you tired?”

“Not at all,” he said dismissively.

Rory’s phone rang again; she’d ignored it the first time so that she could park the car. “I’m sorry Grandpa, can you hang on a sec? Whoever is calling me apparently will not rest until I pick up the phone. It’s probably just Mom, but –” she stopped mid-sentence when she glanced at her phone and saw Jess’ number. She picked up quickly, “Oh my God, I’m in Connecticut and so are you!”

“I know. Cool huh? Hi,” Jess said softly.

“Hi,” Rory smiled.

“Rory, would you mind terribly running to the pool house for me?” Richard asked. “I left my Proust out there when I was tidying earlier.”

“Sure Grandpa,” Rory said distractedly, turning around to walk back out the door.

“What’s going on?” Jess asked.

“Oh nothing,” Rory said, “my Grandpa forgot his Proust in the pool house so he sent me to get it.”

“This one?” Jess said as Rory opened the pool house door, holding out _Swann’s Way._

“Oh my God!” Rory screamed. She wanted to close the distance between them at a quick run, but she was so shocked to see him standing there, she couldn’t move.

Luckily for Rory, when Jess laid his eyes on her it had the exact opposite effect on him. He ran to her so quickly and embraced her so forcefully that he almost knocked her off her feet.

When Rory felt him cradle the back of her head lovingly in his palm, she wrapped her arms around him slowly –afraid she was dreaming. Jess held her tighter, sensing her hesitance.

“You’re not imagining me, Rory,” Jess whispered. “I’m here.”

“Oh Jess,” she said softly, tears of joy escaping her eyes. She pulled back slightly to look into his beautiful brown eyes, which were warm and radiating nothing but love as he looked at her. She smacked his shoulder playfully. “You conspired with Grandpa _again_?”

“Not just your grandpa –your grandma too. And Luke and Lorelai,” Jess said, flashing a crooked grin at Rory. “Everyone agreed that you and I should have some alone time together before the day full of family festivities tomorrow –I didn’t even ask for it, but hell, I didn’t need to be told twice. Lorelai and Luke told me to tell you that they’ll be here at ten tomorrow morning; they intend to spend as much time with you tomorrow as they can,” Jess reached up and wiped away her tears. “Oh Rory, you have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” he said quietly, pulling her close again and burying his face in her neck.

After silently holding each other for several minutes, Jess was able to get his emotions under control. “So how was the event?” He asked, continuing to keep a strong arm wrapped around her back. Now that she was within his grasp again, he had no intention of letting her go until he absolutely had to. “Was this another religious speech?”

“Yeah,” Rory said. “But this one was actually really interesting! He called for everyone to ‘rededicate ourselves to a new kind of politics –a politics of conscience. Let’s come together –Protestant and Catholic, Muslim and Hindu and Jew, believer and non-believer alike … We can affirm our faith without endangering the separation of church and state, as long as we understand that when we’re in the public square, we have to speak in universal terms that everyone can understand. And if we can do that –if we can embrace a common destiny … I believe we'll not just help bring about a more hopeful day in America, we'll not just be caring for our own souls, we'll be doing God's work here on Earth.’ It was really an amazing speech, so attuned with the divisive issues surrounding the American public –really Jess, he’s got a pulse beat on all of the major issues and he speaks to all of them so well; it’s remarkable. You almost forget that he’s running for the highest office in the land; I mean he’s just so –”

“Stop talking,” Jess demanded gently. He captured Rory’s lips in a deep and passionate kiss, forcing her lips apart with his eager and impatient tongue, sweeping it into her mouth and devouring her possessively.

Rory melted into him instantly, holding Jess’ face between her hands as she kissed him eagerly and moaned into his mouth.

Soon the sheer power of their kisses left them both breathless and weak in the knees. “God, I’ve missed you so much,” Jess whispered. “I love you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Rory said quietly, her cheeks blushing a deep scarlet red from the ferocity of their kisses.

“Please tell me the pool house door locks,” Jess said quietly.

“It does,” Rory giggled, “but Grandpa’s waiting for me to bring him his Proust –”

Jess cocked an eyebrow at Rory and gave her such a seductive smirk that she actually felt her knees buckle.

“He doesn’t need the book, does he?”

“Nope. You’re all mine, Gilmore. I’ll do my best to make sure that you’re able to walk tomorrow. But I make no promises.”

“It’s always best to refrain from promises unless you’re one hundred per cent sure you can keep them,” Rory said, already hot and breathless with desire.

“Lock the door. You’re wearing far too many clothes,” Jess winked.

* * *

 Thankfully, Obama’s remarks at the National Education Association Annual Meeting were upon them before Rory and Jess had much of an opportunity to miss each other. Rory was going to be able to spend _three whole nights_ in Philadelphia with Jess. She could barely concentrate on the speech being given –a speech she would have to file a story on later that day- she was so eagerly awaiting being able to see Jess. For the first time, Rory genuinely believed that the mere anticipation of spending three nights with him might _actually_ be the death of her.

Despite her distraction, the story she filed was still beyond reproach. Hugo called her as soon as it went up and told her that taking a chance on her was the smartest decision he’d ever made. She was humbled and touched by his high praise. Before disconnecting the call, she confirmed that she wasn’t supposed to be leaving Philadelphia until Sunday night.

“Yup, that’s still the plan,” Hugo confirmed. “Rest up a few days, kid. You deserve it. You’ve been doing a _fantastic_ job. Hey, didn’t you tell me that your boyfriend’s based out of Philadelphia?”

“Yeah he is,” Rory smiled. “The timing of this stop is perfect actually. It’s his birthday this weekend. It’s on Sunday, but we’re going to do something together on the Saturday. It’ll be nice to spend a few nights sleeping in a familiar bed.”

“Well, that’s great, Gilmore. I’m glad it worked out that way for you. Listen, rest up and celebrate –you both deserve to do a little celebrating. Just don’t miss the bus on Sunday afternoon,” Hugo said, equal parts teasingly and in dead seriousness, “we’re doing that last minute stop in Delaware before heading on to D.C., remember.”

“I won’t miss the bus, Hugo. I promise,” Rory said earnestly, laughing to herself.

“I know you won’t,” Hugo said reassuringly. “Enjoy having a few days to yourself; like I said, you deserve it. They’ll fly by too, so make sure you make them count.”

“I will. Thanks Hugo.”

“Alright, I’ll let you go then. Touch base when you’re on the bus to Delaware.”

“I won’t miss the bus, Hugo! Girl Scout’s honour!” Rory laughed.

“You were a Girl Scout?”

“Yeah, for about a month. Honour is the first thing you learn as a Girl Scout. Once I’d learned the most important of life’s lessons, I decided it was boring. I do miss the cookies though…” 

“Telling you to touch base on route to Delaware is my job. You are a reporter in my employ. I have a responsibility to prove that you are fulfilling your duties as a journalist and following this campaign around the country exactly as you should. It’s not because I actually think you would miss the bus. You are staunchly dedicated to your work Gilmore. And if your boyfriend is even half as loving and supportive as I’ve been hearing that he is, if you miss that bus he’ll drive you to Delaware himself.”

Rory blushed. “Yeah, he’s sweet like that. I think I’ll keep him,” she giggled.

“Okay, I’ve been nattering in your ear long enough. But, hey, ever since you mentioned your boyfriend’s books to me, I’ve had this hankering to get my hands on them. I’d love to read them but I can’t find them anywhere.”

“Oh!” Rory said excitedly. “I can get you a copy of both of them when I’m at Truncheon with Jess over the next few days.”

“Really?” Hugo asked. “That’d be great. Tell Jess I’ll happily give you the money to pay him back next time you see him when the campaign’s in Philadelphia again.”

“No problem. He’ll be flattered!”

“Okay, I really will let you go now. Until Delaware, kid!”

* * *

When Rory arrived at the Truncheon brownstone, she could hear her heartbeat drumming wildly in her ears. Even though she and Jess had been together for a year and a half, it felt strange to have a key to his place.

She was moved to tears when he presented her with two keys upon her graduation from Yale –one to the front door of the brownstone and another to his apartment, so that Rory could come and go as she pleased whenever she was in Philadelphia regardless of the hour and whether not Jess happened to be home.

Jess tried to shrug it off –in a very ‘Jess’ way- as a purely pragmatic and extremely logical thing to do. Even though Lorelai had given Jess a key to her home –which also happened to be Rory’s permanent home, for now at least- this was different.

Jess giving Rory keys to Truncheon and his apartment marked a significant step forward in their relationship. They were moving into that next phase. Jess had no intention of asking for the keys back after the campaign was over. Rory knew that he meant for her to keep the keys he gave her –not just while she was away.

“Hello?” Rory said tentatively as she walked inside. “Matt? Chris? Andrew? Anybody?”

“I’ve been given strict instructions to keep my greetings to a minimum and send you upstairs,” Chris said quietly.

“Chris? Is that you? Where are you? It’s so dark in here!”

“Night is traditionally a dark time,” he chuckled. “Everyone else is gone –finished hours ago. I’m the straggler for the day. I don’t need much light. Jess is waiting for you upstairs.”

“This feels very creepy,” Rory said with a tiny smile.

“It’s not, trust me. I work in the dark all the time. It’s good to see you, Rory! I hope Jess doesn’t keep you … busy the whole time you’re here. It would be nice if we all got to hang out.”

“I’ll make sure we do. He’s upstairs?”

“Mmmhmm. Upstairs. Don’t worry, I’m turning on music as soon as you’re out of my sight.”

Rory had to force herself not to run up the stairs. She crept into Jess’ apartment quietly and found him sitting on his bed. “Hey, did you know that Chris is sitting downstairs working in the dark, like a –”

While Rory was distracted with putting her tiny bag down, Jess had gotten up and closed the distance between them. When she looked up, their faces were only millimeters apart. He cut her off midsentence, taking advantage of her open mouth and kissing her until she was breathless.

“I’m sorry,” Jess whispered when he eventually released her lips, “you were saying?”

“I –I was?” Rory stammered. “I’m sorry, was I talking?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. Sometimes I talk too much.”

Jess laughed quietly. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“How was the National Education Association meeting? Is the fate of America still doomed? Highly educated and under employed? Or are we catching onto that problem, and now too many people are working at McDonald’s and the education system wants to gouge us some more?”

“Yup, that pretty much covers it. People spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on private schools and college, but no one’s finding jobs. It’s a real tragedy.”

“I’m _so_ glad I decided to go university…”

Rory giggled and laid her hand on Jess’ chest. As soon as she felt the warmth of his skin beneath her palm, she stopped laughing.

“Are we done talking now?”

“Oh! Almost! But, three things…”

“One,”

“I missed you.”

“Two?”

“Happy birthday … weekend.”

“And three?”

Rory traced her fingers delicately through Jess’ soft beard and cradled his cheek in her palm. “I love you.”

Jess closed his eyes, leaned into her touch and smiled. “I love you too, Rory.”

“Chris made me promise that I’d get to hang out with the whole gang at some point,”

“We will be of the larger ‘we’, don’t worry. Brunch Saturday –all six of us. But Rory?”

“Yeah?”

“You said three things and you snuck in a fourth,” Jess said lowly. “I’m gonna make you pay for that, you know.”

Rory giggled. “I know. Why do you think I kept talking?”

“Oh, so that’s how it is, huh? You look very nice, by the way. Sophisticated. I’m a little disappointed.”

“Why?”

“Because it means that ripping your clothes off you isn’t an option.”

“Oh,” Rory sighed, slightly disappointed herself. “But you’re only wearing a button down shirt, with _tiny_ buttons. Just because you can’t rip my clothes doesn’t mean I can’t rip yours,” she explained as she shrugged out of her suit jacket, undid her pants and kicked off her shoes.

Jess shot her a beautiful crooked smile. “I hate this shirt,” he whispered.

Rory smiled, grabbing Jess’ shirt in two greedy fistfuls to pull him towards her. She crashed her lips against his and gave his shirt a swift yank to either side, sending the buttons popping off and rolling all over the floor.

A loud, needy groan escaped Jess throat and reverberated through Rory’s mouth. Locking his arms around her ribcage, he picked her up blindly but easily. Rory locked her legs around Jess’ waist and started grinding against him. Before making it the short distance to his bed, Jess’ hands had already found their way into Rory’s pants; he squeezed her hot flesh hungrily.

Everything was a white-hot, needy blur. Within seconds, all of their clothing lay in a heap on the floor. They kissed each other so deeply they almost couldn’t breathe, though neither really cared.

Rory found her way between Jess’ legs, taking his length in her mouth so quickly that Jess’ eyes went wide. She refused to release him until he climaxed so powerfully that dots clouded his vision.

It didn’t take him long to recover his wits, determined to repay the favour. Jess flipped Rory onto her back forcefully and trailed hot, wet kisses all over her salty skin before tasting her core and setting a frantic pace. Within seconds Rory was tugging his hair deliciously. The jolts of pain caused Jess to smile against her skin before adding his fingers and making her cry out.

Before Rory had even come down from her high, Jess felt himself harden again. He crawled up her body quickly and buried himself within her, kissing her lips hard as their hips knocked against one an other’s with a sharp clap, coming to a forceful stop upon finding that there was nowhere deeper to go.

With a few heavy thrusts, they were both close. Jess sat up suddenly and yanked Rory with him, hoping that a change in position could prolong the euphoria. When Rory was positioned in Jess’ lap with her legs locked behind his back, things changed –everything was suddenly happening in slow motion. They locked eyes, both remembering their first time and how it was almost just like this.

Rory traced Jess’ lips with her finger and pulled him into a slow, languid kiss. Jess returned her kiss lovingly and pulled her down onto him harder as they continued to move. For all of the moaning and grunting and keening cries that filled the air when they started, they ended quietly, coming together in powerful silence.

“I could get used to this,” Rory said breathlessly as she snuggled tightly against Jess’ side. “Is it always going to be like this?”

“I hope so,” Jess laughed. “If there’s one up side to you being away on a campaign, it should be all the hot reunion sex.”

“Agreed.”

“It’s only the beginning Ror. It won’t always be loving phone calls and long emails and eager falling into bed. It won’t always be easy. It won’t be as easy when I start school, I’m gonna fuck up, you’re gonna fuck up,” Jess sighed. “It won’t always be this simple.”

“I know,” Rory said quietly.

“We can do this though. We will. I’m so proud of you –you have no idea, Rory.”

“Thank you for not wanting me to change –be someone else.”

“Ditto,” Jess smiled.


	37. Chapter 37

July 10 2007

_Dear Rory,_

_Can we move to Canada? I know, you’re reporting on the presidential election and you can’t really do that if we move to Canada. But … I still want to move to Canada._

_The math placement test was bad enough, but elementary algebra on top of it? Why in the world would they require me to take elementary algebra when I’m going to school to get an English Degree? Don’t they understand that the reason why people choose to study English is because it’s literally the only discipline that allows one to avoid math entirely? A love of books and literature is totally secondary to the avoidance of math. It’s a well-known fact that people study English to avoid math! I swear, I never thought I would actively regret not finishing high school –but then, there was the beast named Elementary Algebra._

_As if that isn’t bad enough, I have to take two math breadth electives on top of the algebra –which by the way, the algebra doesn’t even count toward my degree! What is with all the math, I ask you?_

_I met a Canadian –Daniel pronounced like ‘Danielle’, he’s French. He’s from Ottawa; evidently a lot of French Canadians live in Canada’s capital city, it’s not just a Québec thing. He’s suffering through this algebra class with me –also at Temple to do the accelerated English program. He’s lamenting the fact that he didn’t stay in Canada to go to school because they don’t require English Literature majors to complete unnecessary math._

_We can move to Ottawa –you can totally still report on politics! Canada’s got it all going on –they have universal healthcare and guess what? –if I study English at a university there, they require zero math. Zero. Think about it. I’m going to start learning the words to the Canadian national anthem just incase._

_Fucking math._

_Feel free to laugh at me for finding math so utterly repugnant. I’m going to have to study really hard. Despite my spotty academic past, I’m really invested in doing well at Temple. I have to do another English placement test too, but I can do that in my sleep. The math I will be satisfied if I can just scrape by. As long as I pass and as long as it doesn’t irreparably damage my GPA, I’ll be happy._

_I’m nervous about Temple. I know I’m smart enough and I want it –I want this more than I’ve wanted anything in a long time. But, I don’t know –what if I can’t hack it?_

_For years you always told me that I could accomplish so much more; it’s an amazing feeling to get to a place where I can believe in myself the way you always believed in me. Truncheon’s enough of an accomplishment; my writing is enough of an accomplishment. I’m scared, but mostly in a good way. Thank you, for always believing I could do great things and believing that I should never settle. No matter how this shakes out, there’s so much that I could never have done without you. I may be bitching about the math, and I may be worried about crashing and burning, but it’s because of you that I want more –I couldn’t have done any of this without you._

_You were just here and I miss you already._

_I hope D.C. goes well next week, and Miami after that; I’ll be watching for your stories to go up. In the meantime, pray that I don’t start plotting the murder of the people responsible for all this math bullshit._

_I’m hoping to be able to get to Stars Hollow to see Lane before school starts. Do you still have a huge gap in your schedule between D.C. on August first and Missouri on the twenty-first? It would be great if we could see each other before my life descends into mayhem. My algebra course ends on August eighteenth, so it would be really nice if we could squeeze a visit in –even if it’s just one night. If I could come to you, I would, but I think the timing will be too tight between finishing algebra and starting my Degree._

_The guys send their love. But no one loves you more than me._

_-Jess  
_

* * *

July 11 2007

_Dear Jess,_

_I’m so sorry that all of this math is throwing you for a loop._

_I love that you’ve made a new friend based purely on a shared hatred of math. I can sense right now that this Daniel is going to be a lifer. Nothing has the power to promote togetherness quite like hatred –just look at me and Paris!_

_Canada, huh? Interesting idea; I’ve heard Ottawa is a great little city. It’s nice to know that post-secondary institutions in the great white north don’t require you to take courses that have nothing to do with your declared concentration. Part of the allure of English is the abundant absence of math in almost any context. I hated the math too. I will consider moving to Ottawa on one condition –you in a Canadian Mounty hat and nothing else._

_Jess, you can do this. Just put your nose to the grindstone and push through it. It’s only a few weeks. You may not ace it, but you will pass. Don’t let algebra defeat you. You will be fine, I promise. Everything you’re realizing about yourself are things you had inside of you all along. You’re embracing it; you’re pushing yourself to experience the best kind of fear. If you couldn’t hack college, Jess, you would have known it long before now. Truncheon will always be part of who you are; the growth that Temple will give you is totally natural and you’ll be even better suited to it because of the experiences working at Truncheon have allowed you to have._

_The math is a blip –a necessary evil. This too shall pass._

_The timing in August doesn’t work very well, unfortunately, but there should be some breaks in momentum at different points in the fall: September, October, November. I should be able to make stops to see everyone in all three of those months. We’ll just have to hold out till September, okay?_

_Enjoy hanging out with Lane, you’ll deserve a bit of a break after the algebra is behind you. I’m so happy you two are spending time together!_

_Delaware was nothing really, just a bunch of Town Hall meetings with concerned citizens. Obama certainly knows how to work a room and ease anxiety, I’ll tell you that much. He really does feel like an ordinary guy –people respond to him really well, regardless of race, religion, political leanings and all the rest of it. It’s amazing to see._

_I love you, Jess. Talk soon._

_-Rory  
_

* * *

“Dare I ask how the math is going?” Rory asked when she and Jess were talking on the phone a few days later.

“Ugh, it might be safer not to,” Jess sighed.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing? This is what I get for not finishing high school. Karma’s a bitch and its name is Algebra. I’m not sure whether the fact that it’s a condensed course is a blessing or a curse –on one hand, it’ll be over soon, but on the other, it’s gonna be one hell of an intense stint.”

“Hey, I’m away. You can burrow as far down into that rabbit hole as you need.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Jess, is anything else bothering you? You sound… far away,” Rory said gently.

“It’s just a lot, Ror, that’s all,” Jess assured her. “When I get into the English Lit stuff that’ll be different. It’ll still be a lot, but it’ll be different. This is just… torture.”

“Are you sure that’s all it is?”

“If you’re asking if you being gone ups the stress quotient –of course it does. You’re doing what you need to do. But you feel it as much as I do, don’t you? We were supposed to be nearing the end of the long distance tunnel only to find that it’s stretched twice as long. It’s hard. It doesn’t mean I regret encouraging you to take this job; it doesn’t mean that I hold the fact that you took it against you. I would never –”

“I know, Jess.”

“I feel shitty about feeling shitty about this now. You were just here –I was hoping the high would last a little longer.”

“I blame the algebra,” Rory teased.

“Me too,” Jess chuckled.

“You’re right, though.”

“About what?”

“We were nearing the finish line of the distance race. As happy as I am to be doing this job and as much as I know this was the right thing to do –”

“It was the right thing to do Ror. Never doubt it. This is never going to be a thing that I throw back in your face. I promise.”

“I know –I believe you. Even still, I feel cheated a little.”

“Things between us have never been black and white, Rory. They’ve never been easy. We are the poster couple for the adage that love alone is not enough –it takes work. Things will calm down. When this campaign is over, we’ll find our normalcy.”

“Oh! Can we be boring?” Rory asked excitedly

“Absolutely. The dullest. I promise,” Jess agreed.

“Good. I love you, Jess. I should go.”

“I love you too Rory. I want to hear all about D.C. and Miami, okay?”

* * *

July 24, 2007

_Dear Jess,_

_I hope you’re surviving algebra. I’m sorry we haven’t been able to have a conversation that goes beyond the ten-minute mark. Who knew that reporting on a presidential campaign is so insanely busy? That’s okay, you’ve had the chance to burrow, focus on the math._

_How’s Daniel? Are you two supporting each other through this dark, dark time? You should ask him to bring you some Canadian maple syrup –apparently it’s better than ours. I’ll believe it when I taste it. Tell him I put all other foodies to shame and that my authority is final._

_D.C. was amazing. Obama spoke about poverty and ‘changing the odds for urban America.’ He recalled Bobby Kennedy crouching in a shack in the Mississippi Delta, looking at an impoverished child and asking desperately, ‘How can we allow this?’ We can’t allow it, and yet we do. Some of the most destitute streets of this entire country are steps away from Pennsylvania Avenue, and yet it still continues. One in eight Americans lives in poverty, Jess. One in eight. One in three families are classified as low income –less than forty thousand a year for a family of four. This speech really touched me. Mom and I were always okay, but there were times she could barely make ends meet. I don’t know how she did it, but she made sure I never wanted for anything. I really hope Obama can bring some changes in terms of minimum wage and support for people living in poverty. It is so badly needed.  
             
Miami was great too. He spoke to the National Council of La Raza about segregation struggles. He talked about Martin Luther King, Jr. and Caesar Chavez. He said, ‘_ _If there's a child stuck in a crumbling school who graduates without ever learning how to read, it doesn't matter if that child is a Latino from Miami or an African-American from Chicago or a white girl from rural Kentucky –she is our child, and her struggle is our struggle._ _…_ _It doesn’t matter if the injustice involves a brown man who’s badgered into proving his citizenship again and again or a black man who's pulled over because the car he’s driving is too nice –it’s injustice either way and we all have a role in ending it. … It won't be enough to change parties in this election if we don’t also change a politics that has tried to divide us for far too long. Because when we spend all our time keeping score of who’s up and who’s down, the only winners are those who can afford to play the game –those with the most money, and influence, and power. That’s why right now, the experience we need in the next President is the proven ability to bring people to the table and get things done. We need a leader who's willing to tell the lobbyists and special interests that while they get a seat at that table, the days of them buying every chair are over.’_  
             
_Obama is systematically reaching out to all the minorities George Bush so effectively marginalized. Sure, there’ll be no small number of people unhappy if Obama gets elected; but Jess, I’m watching him reunify the country. It’s incredible._  
  
 _Love, always._  
 _-Rory_

“That’s my girl,” Jess whispered proudly after reading her email, swallowing the lump in his throat.

* * *

“Nick Drake,” Lane said.

“That one was definitely a suicide,” Jess said quickly.

“Agreed. Elliott Smith?”

“Ah, see. I think that Elliott Smith is a repeat of Kurt Cobain, but the uproar wasn’t as loud.”

“I think so too! I mean, who commits suicide by, first stabbing themselves in the chest –but then to do it with a steak knife of all things? So many things about that whole scenario just do not add up.”

“Wouldn’t be my choice of a way to go. And I’m a guy. We’re the ones who aren’t supposed to care about leaving a mess. Besides, his girlfriend conveniently locked herself in the bathroom because they were fighting and then refused to talk to police? Smells guilty to me,” Jess shook his head and handed Kwan a rattle. “Crap, should we be talking about suspicious musician deaths with the babies in the room?”

Lane laughed. “They can’t understand what we’re saying Jess.”

“I just don’t want to be responsible for doing psychological damage to infants.”

“That’s sweet! It’s fine –promise.”

Jess let out an uneasy laugh.

“Rory tells me that algebra almost killed you,” Lane said.

“Yup, I danced with a murderous fiend named Algebra. I bested her, but not by much.”

“As long as you passed, right? In what world are you going to need algebra anyway? You’re at Temple to study English Lit.”

“It makes no sense. Did Rory tell you I’m seriously considering moving to Canada in order to avoid more unnecessary math?”

“That’s a pretty serious aversion.”

“Damn straight it is.”

“How are you, Jess?” Lane asked carefully.

Jess cocked his head slightly. Kwan was trying to grab a hold of Jess’ finger with his chubby little hand. “What do you mean?”

“You and Rory have been together for going on two years. Long distance the entire time. It’s gotta be wearing on you. Zach’s only been on tour a few weeks and I can barely stand it, I miss him so much.”

“You’re taking care of four-month-old twins, Lane,” Jess pointed out.

Lane narrowed her eyes. “Stop avoiding the question.”

Jess sighed. “I miss her. It’s hard. I knew that her being on the campaign would be a different kind of distance than the commute between Connecticut and Philadelphia –but it’s _really_ different. I didn’t think it would be this hard, this soon.”

“Yeah well, you thought you were almost done with the distance game, I bet. Plus, you had a routine down between here and there. It was comfortable. This is a whole different thing.”

“It really is.”

“It’ll be hard, and you’ll both make mistakes, but you two will get through this, Jess. There’s a reason it took you guys this long to get it right. If Rory was ever going to be attached to anyone right now, it needed to be you. You’re the one she needs. Just look at how far you’ve come; she’s the one you need, too. You’re finally ready for each other. There’s a reason you weren’t able to be the man she needed until last winter. Everything you guys went through back then –all the drama, all the misfired signals, there’s a reason you continued to be drawn together despite all the hurt. You speak the same language. You needed to find yourself before you could be ready to love her and you did. If anyone can weather this and come out the other side stronger, it’s you two. This is what everything’s been leading up to since the day you got off that bus here, Jess.”

“Lane –” Jess whispered.

“Don’t question me,” Lane shook her head. “I’m a Kim, we know things. This, I know.”

“Thank you,” Jess smiled. “Shall we switch?”

“Sure,” Lane said, allowing Jess to hold her shoulders gently as they traded spots.

Jess picked up the stuffed toy that Steve had thrown onto the floor and made it do a little dance, enticing him to take it back. “So, tell me about Zach’s tour.”

* * *

“So…” Rory said excitedly over the phone, “how does it feel?”

It was September twenty-fourth; Jess was now starting his fourth full week in Temple’s English Degree program. “Weird,” he laughed as he walked through campus, “but in the best possible way.”

“How’s Daniel? Do you guys have any classes together?”

“The English program is huge, but yeah, actually. We do. And, we’re both taking Business Math as one of our breadth electives.”

“Of course you are,” Rory laughed. “I told you, nothing bonds quite like mutual contempt. Are you still hoping to go all the way for your Master’s?”

“I don’t even apply for that until junior year, Ror,” Jess chuckled.

“I know. I just thought that now, since you have a feel for the environment and the classes, you might have an idea, that’s all.”

“It’s early; a lot could change. But yeah, I think so.”

Rory giggled.

“What’s funny?”

“You missed a button on your shirt.”

Jess stopped walking abruptly. “I –what?” he looked down to find that one of his buttons had popped open. “How did you know that?”

“Because…”

“Where are you?”

“I’m not moving, find me,” Rory teased.

Jess felt like he was in a movie, with a camera above his head while he stood still on a platform as his surroundings blurred all around him. When he spotted Rory standing in the shadow of an arch about ten feet away, he noticed everything –the way her hair blew in the breeze and he could even see the faint sparkle in her clear blue eyes. Everything focused in a snap –and he ran.

Rory was glowing with happiness the instant Jess spotted her. She was going to make her way towards him, but realized in a split second that it was totally unnecessary, with how fast he was running. She squealed in excitement as he scooped her up in a passionate hug and spun her around in circles.

“What are you doing here?!” Jess asked when he was able to calm himself sufficiently to speak. “I thought you had back-to-back events in D.C.?”

“I may have lied about the back-to-back part,” Rory admitted.

“How did you know where to –?”

“Your friends are very helpful. Matt gave me a copy of your schedule. I’m a sucker for finding my way around a campus. This is quite the labyrinth, though. I never would have been right at the right place at the exact right time if it weren’t for –”

“Daniel,” Jess laughed.

“Canadians are very polite,” Rory giggled. “When I told Matt what I was planning, I asked him if he knew who your friend Daniel was –he might’ve snooped in your desk a bit. I emailed Daniel a few days ago, he was more than happy to help.”

Jess caught Rory’s hair as it blew in the soft wind, tucking it gently behind her ears and letting his hands cradle her face. He kissed her slowly, carefully, lingering in the sweetness rather than getting carried away with urgency. “I suppose you know I’m done for the day, then, if you’ve been studying my schedule,” he said quietly.

“I did in fact know that.”

“So, how long is this going to last, when are you off again?”

“I have to be in D.C. for the twenty-eighth. I can stay till Thursday.”

“I love you,” Jess said, slightly breathless.

“I love you too,” Rory smiled. “Daniel told me you guys usually have coffee together on Monday afternoons.”

“We do.”

“Jess, I _love_ coffee.”

“I know you do. But wait, you mean Daniel’s been plotting with you for days and you guys haven’t met yet?”

“Nope. I told you, Canadians are _very_ polite.”

“Come on then, Gilmore. You two need to talk syrup.”


	38. Chapter 38

“I didn’t realize Canadian Thanksgiving was so early,” Jess said to Daniel midway through the first week of October.

“Yeah,” Daniel said.

“So when are you going home?”

“I’m taking off on Thursday, skipping Friday. Monday’s not a holiday here, so my family’s doing dinner on Saturday so that I can come back on Sunday.”

“Jesus, so you’re not even going to be home on like, your actual Thanksgiving?”

“Nope.”

“That sucks, man.”

Daniel shrugged. “At least when I go home, I can drink. It’s so weird to be of age there and not here. Do you know it’s only been like, three months and already I’ve been at bars, asking for a beer? The bartenders glare at me and I’m like, ‘but I’m twenty, what the hell man?’ and then they laugh at me and I remember.”

“Aw, it’s because you’ve got too much of an honest face. It’s those rosy cheeks, I’m telling you. You can’t lie for shit. Fine. Go home, enjoy being a legal lush. When you get back I’ll take you out for apple pie.”

“Jess. We have apple pie in Canada.”

“Yeah you do, but ours is better.”

“Why is that?”

“The freedom,” Jess winked. “Makes it taste better.”

“Hardy har. Canada’s free,” Daniel laughed.

“It’s not the same, trust me.”

“You’re full of shit. Tell Rory I’ll bring some maple syrup back for her.”

“Oh awesome, she’ll love that. Hey –” Jess started, instantly dissolving into nervous laughter, “Ottawa’s the nation’s capital, right? So you probably have souvenir shops with ridiculously stereotypical Canadian stuff…”

“Yeah, Ottawa’s pretty good for that,” Daniel said, shaking his head, “I try and ignore it as much as I can. Ottawa is my home, not just a touristy trope, you know?”

“No, no, I totally get that. I just –would you be able to get me a souvenir Canadian Mounty hat? Do they even have those?” Jess asked, feeling his cheeks burn with awkwardness.

“Yeah, they do. But why in the world do you want –?”

Jess shot Daniel a look that told him all he needed to know –maybe a little more than all he needed to know. Daniel instantly broke down into hysterical laughter. “Say no more,” he cackled.

Jess laughed quietly. “Rory did say the only way she’d consider moving to Ottawa so that I could avoid more math –”

“Involved you in a Mounty hat?”

“And not much else.”

“Dude! Does ‘say no more’ mean nothing to you?” Daniel laughed.

“It’s actually her birthday on October eighth and I thought it would be totally hilarious if I could –”

“I beg of you – _please_ stop talking about it now,” Daniel blushed with laughter.

“Oh, young Canadian, you are so sheltered. There is much I need to teach you when it comes to women. You are a gorgeous man! You are the total package. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Have you not noticed the girls who walk into walls staring at you? I don’t think you realize what a catch you are. We need to find you a woman. She’s out there; all you gotta do is find her. I’m spoken for –I went off the market a long time ago, but I’ll be the best wingman you’ve ever had.”

“You’re on. It would be nice if I had a person to introduce to all of my friends, instead of my friends constantly introducing me to their latest ‘soul mates’, which they pretty much rotate out on a weekly schedule.”

“Hey, ouch man –words hurt like a fist!” Jess teased.

Daniel smacked Jess’ shoulder playfully. “Obviously, I’m not talking about _you._ Rory’s great.”

Jess and Daniel laughed and shook on it. “This is gonna be so much fun! Happy Thanksgiving,” Jess winked. “See you when you get back.”

* * *

October 8, 2007

_Dear Rory,_

_It is so hard to be away from you on your birthday._ _I am going to call you later, but scroll down and enjoy. A promise is a promise…._

_I love you._

_-Jess_

Rory’s brow furrowed in confusion. She was sitting in her hotel in Portsmouth, New Hampshire and her heart skipped a beat when she saw she had an email from Jess –but she was sadly underwhelmed by his birthday message.

Leaning discreetly to the side, she checked to see that she was still alone. Christopher made a surprise visit to spend her birthday with her –he was traveling for work anyway. Satisfied upon hearing her dad puttering around in the bathroom, she scrolled down slowly and waited for what appeared to be a giant Jpeg image to finish loading.

Rory’s mouth dropped open as the top of the image came into view and she saw a Canadian Mounty hat. The bottom of the screen cut the image off just underneath Jess’ eyes.  

“Hey kiddo, you ready?” Christopher asked, coming out of the bathroom. “What are you looking at?”

Rory snapped out of her shocked haze just as Christopher moved to look at her screen.

“That’s weird. Is that a Canadian Mounty hat? When did you start hanging out with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police?”

“Nothing!” Rory said abruptly, closing her laptop and standing up. “Nothing. It’s nothing. Just a picture that –I can look at it later. It’s really not important I promise. I’m so glad you’re here, Dad! Are you ready to go to dinner? Let’s go!”

“Okay, no coffee for you tonight. You’re cut off,” Christopher laughed.

As they were walking out of the room, Rory’s phone rang; it was Jess. She picked up and turned beat red, turning away from Christopher. “Sorry Dad, give me a sec,” she whispered. “Hey,” she said to Jess, “I can’t really –”

“Aw what?” Jess laughed. “Were the pictures that bad? Come on, I thought you’d get a kick out of –”

“Jess!” Rory hissed quietly. “I can’t talk about this because my Dad and I are going out for dinner for my birthday.”

“Your –? Shit. He –oh Christ, did he see –?”

“No. I closed my laptop in time.”

Rory giggled softly at the absurdity of it all. It totally figured that her father would be too busy to come to her graduation from Yale, but have the time to randomly take her out to a birthday dinner in New Hampshire, when she was in the middle of reporting on a presidential campaign –and come dangerously close to seeing naked pictures of her boyfriend, whom he’d never met or hardly even asked about.

“I’m sure the pictures are fantastic,” Rory assured Jess with a gentle laugh. “Now that I know they’re waiting for me, I might have a hard time concentrating at dinner.”

“I’m really sorry Rory,” Jess said, laughing to hide his embarrassment. _Seriously, what are the odds,_ he thought to himself cynically.

“It’s okay. Crisis was averted. No biggie.”

“Okay, I’ll let you go, then. How long is he in town?”

“He’s flying out after dinner tonight.”

“Wow, that’s quick.”

“Yeah well, that’s my Dad,” Rory sighed. “He’s hardly ever around until he is. And it’s so great when he is, but you blink and he’s gone again.”

“Well, enjoy tonight then,” Jess told her.

“I will. I love you Jess. Thanks for the dirty pictures,” she giggled.

“It’s the least I can do,” he laughed. “Call me later when Christopher’s gone. I love you. Happy birthday.”

“Talk later. Love you. Bye.”

“You ready to go, kiddo? If we don’t hurry we’ll miss our reservations; I’d hate to have to cut your birthday dinner short by needing to leave,” Christopher said pleasantly, offering Rory his arm.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Rory said happily, looping her arm through Christopher’s and leaning in as he kissed her forehead.

“I’m so proud of what you’re doing, Ror –reporting on presidential campaign, my Rory? It’s so wonderful sweetheart. I’ve read a few of your articles; you’re not half-bad, kid!”

Thanks, Dad,” Rory said. She was little uneasy; ‘not half-bad kid’ seemed like a childish way to encourage and support your daughter when she’s working what is arguably the most important journalistic assignment of contemporary presidential history.  
             
Rory bristled slightly at her father’s use of the term ‘Ror’; she knew Christopher had been calling her that for most of her life –ever since she was a little girl- but it was a term of endearment that Jess had given significance to. If anyone else besides Jess called her ‘Ror’ it felt wrong somehow.

She pushed all of these thoughts to the back of her mind as she walked arm-in-arm with Christopher, smiling warmly at him, incredibly happy that he was there. Rory loved her father, but she knew better than to count on him. She was determined to enjoy this little bit of time he had to give to her. Soon, he would disappear again behind a mirage of elusive phone calls and emails for who knows how long until he decided to make yet another surprise, all-too-brief but always welcome appearance in her life –well, _almost always welcome_ anyway.

* * *

“Your dad almost saw _what?_ You’re kidding,” Lorelai laughed.

Rory was on the phone with her mom from Des Moines, Iowa four days after her birthday and couldn’t resist recounting the entire tale. “I know, I felt like I was in a really bad screw ball comedy or something.”

 “How was it, seeing your dad?” Lorelai asked.

“Weird. It’s almost always weird now. It’s like he only has time to be Dad when it suits him. He missed my graduation from Yale because he couldn’t get out of a business meeting, but then he has time to randomly show up in New Hampshire and tells me that my reporting on a presidential campaign ‘isn’t half-bad’?”

“Oh Hun, I’m sorry. I wish I could say I was surprised…”

“Me too,” Rory sighed.

“Shall we change the subject?”

“Yes please.”

“Heavy fare or lite fare?”

“Definitely lite.”

“Is it true Obama’s going to be on the Ellen DeGeneres Show?!”

“Oh yeah! I get to go out there to write a story on it. Can you believe that?” Rory laughed.

“You get all the best gigs,” Lorelai sighed. “When is it?”

“October twenty-ninth.”

“Obama knows that Ellen makes people dance, right?”

“I’m fairly positive Obama will be dancing; he’s cool like that.”

“We’re going to have a dancing President!”

“I hope so. I miss you, Mom. And Luke! I miss you so much.”

“We miss you too kid. We’re counting the days till Thanksgiving.”

“Ugh, but that’s still over a month away,” Rory complained. “Adulting sucks.”  
  
“Here, here. What’s after Ellen?”

“Obama has a debate at Drexel University on the thirtieth.”

“Drexel in Philadelphia?” Lorelai asked excitedly. “Take heart, you can –”

“Put the heart back. We’re leaving right after the event. I’m literally only going to be in Philadelphia for like, five hours and Jess is super busy with school. We’re gonna miss each other.”

“Boo. That stinks!”

“Yeah.”

“How are you and Jess doing? This is a lot.”

“We’re managing. It’s harder than even we thought. But we love each other Mom –more than anything. We’re making it work.”

“I’m so glad,” Lorelai said genuinely.

* * *

 November 14, 2007

_Dear Jess,_

_No matter how many times I come to Iowa, it will never be interesting. Promise me we’ll try really hard never to live here._

_Obama talked to the United Auto Workers Conference yesterday. The American economy is really scary for people working in long standing retail jobs, with all the stores closing down. People who’ve worked in the same place for their entire lives, making just enough to stay afloat are suddenly out of work. It’s terrifying for them. He said, ‘_ _We’re ready to play offense for American workers. When I’m President, we’re not going to wait twenty years or ten years to raise the minimum wage –we’ll raise it to keep pace with inflation every year so that American workers aren’t falling behind. And we’ll take tax breaks away from companies that ship our jobs overseas and put them in the pockets of working Americans who deserve it.’_

_I hope he’s right._

_I’m so sorry I missed you when I was in Philadelphia at Drexel. I hope your studying is going well, I know you’re swamped right now. End of semester crunches are no fun and they seem to start earlier and earlier._

_How’s Truncheon? I hope work work offers a bit of a break rather than adding to your stress. You love Truncheon so much –if your academic stress messes with that, it would suck._

_I know things are hard right now and neither of us are as available as we want to be, but this will pass. Just because the time to actually talk is a rare and precious commodity doesn’t mean I love you any less, please know that._

_I love you._

_-Rory_

Jess sighed heavily when he saw her email. To say he was stressed would be an understatement. It wasn’t that the amount of work scared him, he wasn’t trying to blow it off and it wasn’t that he didn’t understand what to do –it was just that there was so _much_ of it. He didn’t know how one person was supposed to do it all.

Conversations with Rory had been short and lacking any depth. He was busy and so was she. It doesn’t matter sometimes, how much you love someone –every once and a while, emails and short phone conversations at the end of long days when you’re too tired to say much just are not enough. When you need the comfort of being able to come home to someone, wrap yourself in their arms and sit in comfortable silence and you can’t do that, it starts wearing on your soul.

Now that Rory was on the road, Jess realized how much he needed her. They were not the type of couple to profess that they completed each other; they were both fully formed individuals who believed that one should never lose themselves in their partner. But being apart constantly was starting to impact them both.

For her part, Rory was slowly realizing that as exciting as it was to be traveling around chasing front-page news, it could be a lonely life.

Pulling out his phone, Jess sent Rory a text: _Just read your email. I know, Ror. Things are just hard right now. Once we make it to Thanksgiving and we can have a few days to recharge together, things will get a little easier. We just need to make it to Thanksgiving. Don’t worry. I’m still yours. We’ll be okay. Love you._

Rory answered right back: _Love you too, Dodger. Always.  
_

* * *

On Thursday, November fifteenth, the weather was particularly nasty. It was cold; snow was falling in wet slush –making the roads very slippery. Jess was driving home from school very slowly and carefully, cursing under his breath at all the impatient drivers gunning to get themselves killed.

He slowed down carefully at a traffic light as it turned yellow, deciding not to chance speeding through an intersection when the roads were such a mess. As soon as the light turned green, before Jess could even put the slightest bit of acceleration on the gas pedal, the car behind him roared and screeched. There was a split second where Jess could see what was about to happen, floating above himself and watching, like a premonition. The screeching and roaring got louder and Jess felt a sudden, violent jolt to the back of his car. The force was so great that his head whipped back and forward and his nose smashed into the steering wheel. A loud, painful wail escaped his throat and he knew in an instant that his nose was broken.

Jess opened his eyes slowly; people were starting to get out of their cars to help. The ass that rear-ended him was knocking on his window, muttering incoherent apologies. Everything around him was spinning and Jess had to concentrate on not vomiting. His face was already starting to swell and he was terrified to move his neck.

An hour later, Jess was sitting in the emergency department surrounded by Matt, Chris, Andrew and Joe as a doctor confirmed his injuries: a broken nose, severe whiplash and a moderate concussion.

“Great,” Jess muttered, wincing at the awkward neck brace he was wearing. “What about the ass? The guy who slammed my car?”

“He already talked to your insurance people,” Andrew said quietly. “Paperwork is being drawn up now.”

“Oh, he’s sorry is he? Well, ain’t that grand. How much is this gonna cost? I can’t afford to –”

“Don’t worry about that right now, man,” Joe said.

“Mr. Mariano, you are very lucky,” the doctor said. “Your injuries could have been far worse. Unfortunately, your face will look quite battered for a while, there’s no magic fix for a broken nose. I know it’s painful, but you should leave the splint over it as much as you can, we need to make sure it heals straight.

“I know the neck brace is awkward. After about a week, we can discuss taking it off when you sleep, but for right now, it should stay on all the time. We cannot risk doing irreparable damage to your neck.”

“Yeah yeah, understood doc,” Jess sighed.

“You suffered a moderate concussion, so you will likely experience dizziness and nausea. You may experience sensitivity to light and noise and difficulty concentrating. Some ringing in the ears is normal. Your speech may be slurred at times, but don’t let it worry you too much. You will feel sluggish and tired; for a few days at least, you have to cancel everything and stay in bed.”

“I can’t just –”

“Do you want to suffer permanent brain damage? Concussions are serious.”

“Fine,” Jess huffed. “Can I go now?”

The doctor sighed and wrote Jess prescriptions to help with pain, nausea and sleep. “Take these as directed; I’ve included a few repeats. Do not try to tough this out, Mr. Mariano. Take the medication. I have scheduled a follow-up for after Thanksgiving. You’re young, Mr. Mariano –look after yourself now and you’ll be able to bounce back in a matter of months.”

“We’ll make sure,” Chris assured the doctor. “Come on Jess, let’s get you home, bud.”

Back at Truncheon, the guys helped Jess up to his apartment. They made sure he was comfortable and put his medications within reach. Andrew even went out to get soup from Jess’ favourite little diner down the street.

When they finally left him alone, he called Daniel and asked him to gather up a few days of work that he could do from home, and to tell his professors what happened.

Situated with his laptop, he replied to Rory’s emails and answered all her texts, but said nothing about what had happened. Matt and Chris both offered to call her, but Jess said no –he assured them he’d call her himself. But he didn’t; she was preparing to go to New Hampshire with the campaign and was buried in work.

The morning after the accident Jess called Luke and told him what happened without actually saying much at all. Luke was relieved that Jess was okay and insisted on coming to Philadelphia without letting Jess argue –he’d be there that evening.

Luke told Lorelai as much of the situation as she needed to know and promised he’d call her from Philadelphia, once he got a handle on everything.

Everyone assumed that Rory was aware of what happened –Jess had told Matt and Chris that he would rather call her himself, which they understood, so they left it alone; when Jess called Luke, Jess gave no indication that Rory didn’t know and truthfully, Luke was so caught up in processing the situation that thinking otherwise never even occurred to him. Lorelai, for her part, reasoned that there was no way Rory was _unaware_ ; she made the difficult decision to refrain from calling her to overwhelm her –Rory needed to focus on Jess and Luke would be there with them soon anyway.

Jess’ decision not to tell Rory could not be blamed on his concussion. He reasoned with himself that he was fine and he saw no need to worry her. She obviously couldn’t drop everything to be with him. Jess didn’t want to jeopardize Rory’s work and scare her unnecessarily. As long as he could avoid talking to her on the phone for the first few days, she’d never have to know and everything would be fine. It was better this way, he told himself; he had enough help between Andrew, Joe, Chris, Matt, Daniel and Luke. Before long though, the illusion surrounding Jess’ imperfect judgment was going to shatter.


	39. Chapter 39

Jess had drifted off into a light sleep when the sound of his door opening jolted him awake. He tried to turn to see who it was and remembered a split second too late that he was wearing a neck brace; just the motion of trying to turn his head was enough to make him dizzy and throw him of balance.

“Easy, Jess, easy. It’s just me,” Luke said, crossing the room in two giant steps. He was shocked to see Jess’ bruised and swollen face. “Jesus Christ.”

“S’not as bad as it looks,” Jess muttered drowsily.

“Looks pretty fucking bad, kid.”

“It’s just the nose. A broken nose fucks with your entire face. And the concussion makes me sound like Special Needs Boy.”

“I could get you a cape,” Luke joked. “Are you okay?”

“You just greeted me with ‘Jesus Christ’ and ‘looks pretty fucking bad,’ really? That’s your question? Am I okay? Oh yeah Luke, I’m peachy.”

“It’s so nice to know that your smartass gene escaped unscathed,” Luke huffed. “What happened?”

“I told you this morning –roads are a disaster, ass rear-ended me,” Jess said.

“Your friend downstairs, Andrew? Andrew told me the guy talked to your insurance right away. Doesn’t sound like this is anyone’s fault, they’re probably gonna cover it –your car, your medical bills, everything.”

“Well, that just makes up for everything doesn’t it?”

“What do you need?”

“Are you forgetting that I never asked you to come?”

“Too bad. I’m here. That’s what happens when you have people Jess; they have this nasty habit of _caring_.”

“People suck,” Jess sighed.

“I don’t disagree with that statement generally –but in this case you’re wrong. You just hate it when you have to admit that you don’t hate the whole stinking lot of us anymore,” Luke said.

“Life was so much easier when I was a misanthrope.”

“No it wasn’t.”

“Thanks for coming,” Jess said quietly.

“Yeah. Here, let me help you lie back,” Luke said, easing Jess onto his pillows gently.

* * *

“Why is his uncle here, and Rory’s not?” Chris asked quietly.

“Rory’s reporting on Obama’s campaign –does any of us know where she _actually_ is? It’s not like it’s easy for her to get here,” Joe said.

“Yeah I know. But don’t you think it’s weird that this happened yesterday and none of us have heard from her? We all know Rory. She’d be calling us incessantly to check on Jess. We’d be welcoming her calls; it’s not like she’d be afraid to talk to us. Even if she couldn’t be here … we haven’t heard a peep and that’s weird, you guys,” Matt sighed. “Chris and I offered yesterday to call her –Jess wouldn’t let us. He said he’d tell her himself. Now it’s been over twenty-four hours and Luke is here and there’s been no word from Rory?”

“Matt’s right,” Chris sighed. “I think maybe –maybe he didn’t tell her.”

“Jesus, shit! Why would he do that?” Joe cursed. “He’s been with her for almost two years!”

“Yeah, but she’s gone,” Andrew offered. “It’s been tough on the guy. Maybe he figured that it was better this way, not worrying her; not wanting to jeopardize her work.”

Everyone glared.

“Jesus, relax!” Andrew said defensively. “I never said his logic was _right_ –I’m just saying, maybe that’s his logic.”

“One of us has got to call her,” Joe sighed heavily.

“Not it!” Andrew said immediately.

“Dude, are you five?”

“Chris or I should do it,” Matt said. “We’re the ones who offered yesterday and didn’t bother to make sure he spoke to her.”

“The fact that he never called her is hardly your fault,” Joe said.

“I know. Still,” Chis said, “Matt’s right –it should be him or me.”

* * *

“Hey Rory,” Matt said heavily. “You got a sec?”

“Matt?” Rory asked in surprise.

“Yeah.”

“Sure, what’s up? It’s good to hear from you! How’s Truncheon? Jess isn’t too grumpy, is he –?”

“Rory, where are you right now?”

“Debuque, Iowa –which I didn’t even know was a place. Why?”

“Where do you have to be next?”

“Manchester, New Hampshire on the twentieth. Why? Matt, is something going on?”

“You could say that,” Matt sighed.

Instantly, Rory lost her breath and a painful lump formed in her throat.

“I’m so sorry Rory, we offered to call you for Jess, he was dealing with enough, but he refused –told us he’d tell you himself and we thought it’d be better if you heard it directly from him so we didn’t push it. But then when Luke showed up here this afternoon and we still hadn’t heard anything from you –we thought it was weird.”

“Matt,” Rory said slowly, her voice starting to tremble, “Just. Tell me. What happened.”

“Jess was in a minor fender-bender yesterday. The roads were a mess and some guy rear-ended him at a traffic light. It was no one’s fault, we’re sure the other guy’s insurance is gonna pay for everything –repairs to Jess’ car, his medical bills, everything.”

“Medical bills,” Rory said quietly, her eyes brimming with tears, “what medical bills?”

Matt let out a heavy breath, “Jess suffered severe whiplash. And he has a broken nose and a moderate concussion. He’s pretty roughed up Rory –and he won’t say as much but we know he’s pretty shaken up by the whole thing. But he’s okay, he’s gonna be okay. He kept telling us he needed to tell you himself –we just assumed that he did. We should have checked that he actually did. When Luke showed up this afternoon and none of the rest of us had heard from you, we knew something wasn’t right. We’re all friends, we would have heard from you.”

“Yeah, you would have,” Rory suddenly felt lightheaded. “When did this happen, Matt?”

“Yesterday afternoon.”

“Yesterday afternoon? Oh God!” Rory cried. “Luke’s there with him though, right?”

“Yes, Luke is here with him,” Matt confirmed.

“Well that’s good, at least,” Rory was still struggling to hold back tears.

“Shh, Rory, please don’t cry. I’m really bad at comforting crying people. I –I don’t think he kept it from you to hurt you, Rory. I don’t think he was _trying_ to be secretive. I think he just thought –you’re busy, you’re far away and he didn’t want to scare you or take your focus away from your work. He probably figured there was no way you could leave the campaign to help him and he didn’t want you to jeopardize your work.”

“Well, he’s full of shit. What was he thinking?!”

“I know, our boy can be a little dense sometimes,” Matt offered genuinely. “Do you think you can get here before you have to be in New Hampshire? I realize you probably won’t be able to get here until tomorrow and that would only give you a day or two, but I think –”

“Yeah,” Rory sighed, “I think so. Hugo’s a _way_ decent boss; he’ll understand.”

“Jess messed up big time –not telling you about this, Rory. But he needs you right now.”

“I know. Matt?”

“Rory?”

“Is he really okay?” Rory asked quietly, tears streaming down her face. “I mean is he gonna be –”

“He’s pretty banged up, so you should prepare yourself for the sight that will greet you when you see him. It’s gonna take him a while to bounce back. But he’s okay, Rory. He’ll be okay.”

“Promise?” Rory whispered.

“Absolutely. Call me back once you’ve talked to your boss. I’ll pick you up at the airport myself whenever your flight gets in.”

“I will. Th-thank you Matt –really.”

“Of course Rory,” Matt said gently. “Talk soon.”

Rory called Hugo as soon as she hung up with Matt and he completely understood. He told her not to worry about New Hampshire –he’d get a local freelancer to cover it. He knew a reporter out Manchester way who owed him a favour. Rory could spend an extra few days with Jess and her family and pick up after Thanksgiving, on November thirtieth with The Democratic National Convention in D.C.

* * *

Rory took the first flight out of Iowa that she could and landed in Philadelphia late Saturday morning, November seventeenth. As promised, Matt –and Chris- were waiting for her. She walked to them quickly, holding her breath and trying not to look too scared. She stopped abruptly in front of them. Chris reached to take her tiny bag. Rory chewed her lip and stared at her feet.

“Rory,” Matt whispered.

“Hugo got New Hampshire covered, I don’t have to go back on the trail till after Thanksgiving. I can stay until –I have to be in D.C. on the thirtieth,” Rory said without looking at them.

“That’s good,” Chris said, rubbing her arm gently. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah –I –let’s go,” Rory stammered. But she didn’t move. “Crap. I’m sorry –can I just have a –? Oh God…” she said between heaving breaths.

Matt couldn’t stand it. He pulled her into a fierce hug and held her tight. “Rory, he’s okay. Shhh, come on,” he said.

“I thought you were bad with crying people,” Rory sniffled against him.

“Yeah well, you’re special. I’m willing to step out of my comfort zone for you.”

“Thanks.”

Matt released Rory slowly, and she saw Chris standing patiently on her other side. Without asking or hesitating, Chris pulled Rory into a gentle hug and placed a friendly kiss on the top of her head.

“Sorry, I’m such a mess,” Rory sighed.

Both men shrugged it off; Matt placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder as they walked to the car.

* * *

Rory was shaking like a leaf when they got to Truncheon. When she walked in the main door, Joe and Andrew came over right away and gave her hushed hugs and words of comfort.

“He’s upstairs?” Rory asked timidly.

Everyone nodded.

“Luke still here?”

“Yeah,” Andrew said. “I’m pretty sure he’s willing to stay for however long he needs to. He might’ve set up house by now.”

“Does –Jess, does he know you called me?” Rory asked, looking at Matt and Chris. “Does he expect me here? Did he know I was coming?”

“No,” Matt said, embarrassed. “If we let on that we knew he never called you –if we called him on it, he’d ream us out. We just figured the important part was making sure you knew.”

“Sorry,” Chris offered.

“No, no,” Rory shook her head quickly, “it’s okay. You guys have nothing to be sorry for. Thank you, for –for –just, thank you.”

“Breathe, Rory. He’s okay,” Joe said soothingly.

“Okay,” Rory said, taking a deep breath, “I’m just gonna –” she pointed to the stairs and turned away, climbing up silently.

When Rory reached Jess’ door, she stood in the hallway for several seconds, just listening. Luke and Jess were talking quietly; Jess’ speech was slurred, she could tell even from outside the door –he sounded tired and very out of it. If any bantering happened when Luke showed up, it was long over now. Rory closed her eyes and took a few calming breaths, forcing her hand to be steady as she gripped the doorknob. It wasn’t locked. She froze briefly after she turned it, afraid to take that last step and push the door open.

Luke heard the subtle clicking of the door and got up to investigate. Jess was too out of it to notice anything so discreet. Leaning against the inside of the door gently, Luke listened. He thought he heard a series of tiny gasps. “Oh, God… Rory,” he whispered. Pulling the door open a crack, he gave himself just enough room to slip out into the hallway.

Rory stared at him, her bottom lip quivering. She missed him so much; she hadn’t seen him since the end of June. “Hi,” she said weakly, looking at him with wide, glassy eyes. “Luke?”

Luke was rendered momentarily speechless by the sight of Rory so scared. He reached to take a hold of her trembling hands and let out a pained sigh. “He didn’t tell you, did he?”

Rory shook her head. “Matt called me yesterday.”

“What an idiot,” Luke whispered, stepping closer to Rory to give her a hug.

“Is he okay? How’s he doing?”

“He’s pretty banged up. His injuries look pretty gnarly –”

“I know, the –the guys told me –I mean they warned me that he looked –”

“Yeah. Look, I should call your mom –give her an update. You go on in, take all the time you need. I’m out of your hair.”

“You’re not leaving, are you?” Rory asked desperately.

“No. I’m just giving you space. I’ll stay close, don’t worry,” Luke said.

“Okay, good. Say hi to Mom for me.”

“I will. You look good, kid –current circumstances notwithstanding. Your stories are great; you’re doing an amazing job.”

“Thanks,” Rory smiled. “I’ve really missed you, Luke.”

“Missed you too,” Luke said quietly, starting to walk down the stairs. He nodded to Jess’ door, “Go on.”

“Luke! Wait.”

“What is it?”

“Can you not tell Mom that Jess didn’t tell me? I mean, I’ll probably tell her eventually, but I don’t know how I’m gonna react to what’s waiting for me in there. I don’t know when I’m gonna be able to, like, dissect how it all makes me feel with anyone other than Jess –”

“That’s your business to tell, not mine,” Luke assured her.

Rory took one last deep breath before entering Jess’ apartment. The wind was knocked out of her lungs when she saw him lying awkwardly on his bed –neck brace keeping him still, his face battered, swollen and bruised several different shades of purple and black. A small splint was taped to his nose; Rory could tell just by looking at it that it was painful. The bruising flowed out from the center of his face and created large black bags under both his eyes –he looked like he’d been beaten to a pulp. His cheeks were swollen too and the area under his nose –including his top lip- had ballooned to twice the size that it should be. Rory wondered if he had difficulty breathing –it was this thought that shattered the precarious silence, when a sob escaped her throat.

Jess reacted to the noise, nearly jumping out of his skin. He winced and moaned in pain just before he rotated himself slowly to find the origin of the sound –a sound he knew all too well. When Jess was able to see a blurry Rory, staring in shock and disbelief, he was relieved to see her, but his stomach sank and his heart twisted in knots. He hated himself for the fear and anger he could just barely register in her features. He should have called her.

“Rory,” he croaked out, “Rory, I’m okay.”

Rory walked over to Jess slowly. When she reached his bed, she extended a trembling hand to move his hair out of his eyes like she used to. Then she remembered that it had been cut short for a year and she stopped, hesitating briefly before placing her hand very gently on his forehead, tracing delicate patterns on his skin. She was relieved when her touch didn’t make him cringe; she’d found one of the only spots not painful to the touch. Leaning down, she placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

Jess closed his eyes, lost in the ecstasy of her gentle touch. “Rory,” he breathed.

“Do you need anything?” Rory asked quietly.

“I need –it’s time for me to take my meds,” he said, glancing over to his bedside table.

“Come on, sit up. Let me help you,” Rory leaned forward and placed one knee on Jess’ bed, grabbing him carefully under the arms to help him sit. “Am I hurting you?”

Jess awkwardly shook his head ‘no’.

Rory looked at the prescription bottles littering his nightstand. “Which ones?”

“Second from left. Two.”

Rory tapped out the dose into her palm and handed Jess the pills. “Let me get you some water.”

Disappearing around the corner into his kitchenette, Rory hunted for a plastic cup –the last thing Jess needed was to accidentally break glass; glass was dangerous. She returned a moment later with a plastic cup full of water and handed it to him silently.

Jess struggled to take in an adequate mouthful of water and winced as he swallowed. The sight of such a simple act being so painful shattered Rory’s heart. When he was finished, Jess tried to put the cup down, but he couldn’t reach. His hand started shaking violently, spilling water down his arm. “Damn it!” he screamed.

“Here, Jess. Just give it to me,” Rory whispered. Rory stood frozen, cup in hand for about ten seconds before her brain clicked and she mechanically turned to bring it back to the sink. She took a few steps toward the kitchenette and froze again. Her tears started flowing like a waterfall; she couldn’t hold it in anymore. She clenched the cup so tightly that it trembled in her hand. Without warning, she threw it violently and it smashed against the wall with a loud thwack.

Jess tensed at the sudden noise, startled so thoroughly that his injured body groaned in protest –but he couldn’t make himself relax. “Rory, what the –?”

“Why the _hell_ didn’t you call me, Jess?” Rory screamed, turning on her heal to face him. “Matt called me yesterday with his tail between his legs –everyone thought I knew. Why did they all assume that I knew? You told them you wanted to tell me yourself, right? I found out more than a day later, Jess. A whole fucking day! Why?”

“Rory,” Jess sighed. “I’m sorry. I fucked up.”

“Do you remember the conversation we had a year and a half ago? In the same bed that you’re currently stuck in?”

Jess closed his eyes and felt a lump rising in his throat as the full weight of his mistake hit him.

“Answer me!” Rory demanded, walking back over to him. “Do. You. Remember?”

“I remember,” he whispered.  
             
“You told me! You said! You said that if anything ever happened to either of us, people had to know about us so that they’d know to tell the other person right away. You told me that if anything happened to you, you wanted me beside you first; you wanted me to beat Luke to your side. You made perfect sense –such a genuine, impassioned, _loving_ justification for coming clean as soon as we did, Jess.

“So imagine my horror when Matt called me yesterday to tell me what happened. You wanna know what tipped him off that you lied? When Luke showed up. He said it made no sense that Luke came all this way before anyone even heard from me.”

“Rory, I’m –”

“Do you also remember why I showed up that night like I did? You must.”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“I’ve been through way too much, Jess. When my ex-boyfriend threw himself off a cliff I came here –you were my sanctuary. The way you were just, everything I needed you to be –it was –I can’t even tell you. Then, a year later my grandpa had a heart attack,” Rory paused to let out a strangled sob and take a deep breath. “I know you know how much that scared me, Jess. You saw it. You moved heaven and earth to be there for me as soon as humanly possible, and you stayed.

“You’ve made it okay for me to _need_ you, Jess. You’ve proven to me that I can count on you.”

“You can.”

“How? Do you have any idea what I’m feeling right now? You’re the person I count on. You give me the strength I need to survive ex-boyfriends jumping off cliffs and my grandpa having a heart attack. Do you understand how terrifying it is, just in one fleeting second, to know that something so horrible happened to you? Do you know what it feels like, when _someone else_ calls to tell me? The only reason someone else should be calling me is if you’re incapacitated, unconscious or if there’s a –a tag on your toe,” Rory sobbed.

Rory’s words hit Jess like a swift punch in the gut. “Oh God,” he whispered, a tear escaping his swollen eye, “Rory, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I –you were gone; busy and I just thought that –I didn’t want you jeopardizing your work for me. It was stupid and I’m so sorry.”

“Jess,” Rory said quietly.  “I know my job is making things difficult for us.”

“Rory, I totally support your –”

“I know you do. That’s not my point. We started this over a year and a half ago and we have yet to be based in the same place. It’s hard. But we’re making it work because we love each other. We know that it won’t always be like this. But right now, Jess, it is like this. I have a job that’s taking me all over the country and your life is here. This kind of dynamic would be hard on any couple and it can’t be sustained forever. The only way this can work is if we communicate, Jess. We have to. If we can’t do that –if you can’t do that at the times when it’s the most important thing, when it’s the only thing that will see us through- then this will never work.”

For all of the colourful bruises covering his face, Rory’s words made Jess go pale. He struggled to move onto his side slightly, so that he could look her in the eye. “Rory, please, don’t –”

“I’m not. But you need to tell me now, Jess. You need to tell me now that we won’t find ourselves having this conversation again. I’ll promise too; both of us need to make sure that this never happens again. We –we won’t survive if this keeps happening,” Rory cried. “We get one out –one ‘get out of jail free card’ for this –what’s happening right now. This is it. Other stuff, we might get a few cards, but _this_? We get one. You know us as well as I do and you _know_ we can’t survive a repeat of this moment that we’re in right now.”

“I know,” Jess said.

“So, what then? What now?” Rory asked quietly.

“Ror, I –I was so scared. When that guy hit me, it happened so fast. I thought I broke my neck. Everything’s a blur. It was so stupid, not telling you. I don’t know why I –I was scared. Really scared,” he said again, his voice trembling slightly. “It doesn’t excuse –it doesn’t excuse, Ror, I know it doesn’t. But when I’m scared, I mess things up; it’s what I do. I –I –” Jess was starting to lose his train of thought.

“Shhh,” Rory said soothingly when she saw him starting to get restless. “You shouldn’t start to cry; you might have difficulty breathing. And I kinda like you, so it’d be sad if I lost you now,” she teased.

“Rory –”

“Jess, I believe you. I’ve also yelled at you enough for now. We can keep talking about this when you’ll remember more of it and when you have an equal opportunity to yell back. This is gonna be a thing for a while –a thing we work through, not a thing that goes poof. Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

“My head is killing me,” Jess relented.

“Sorry,” Rory whispered, running her fingers along his hairline.

“Don’t be. And I may have a concussion, but I –I’m not about to –forget anything… anything you said.”

“Okay. Jess?”

“Yeah, Ror,” he muttered drowsily.

Rory grasped his hand firmly. “Don’t ever do this to me again,” she said meekly.

“I won’t. Next time –you might –throw something… at my head.”

* * *

Rory’s phone rang unexpectedly the next night –late. It didn’t matter because she wasn’t sleeping anyway –she was curled up next to Jess, watching him sleep and obsessing over every twitch, wince and moan that escaped his throat. She was surprised because it was past midnight and almost everyone she knew was here –save her grandparents, her mom and Lane. She was even more surprised to see that it was Hugo; sure he was a caring boss, but enough to check on her injured boyfriend after midnight? Something was up.

Rory slowly tore herself away from Jess’ side and crept out into the hallway. “Hugo?” she whispered sleepily, “What’s going on?”

“Oh kid, you have no idea how much I hate to do this to you –but I need you in New Hampshire. The stringer in Manchester who owes me –his wife went into premature labour. I waited on calling you in –I was hoping I could find someone else to cover your cover so that I wouldn’t have to. But I’m strapped. There’s literally _no one else._ I’m so sorry, Gilmore,” Hugo sighed.

“But it’s after midnight Hugo. The event is tomorrow. How am I supposed to get to New Hampshire by tomorrow?”

“I’ve booked you on the first direct flight out of Philadelphia –the tickets are waiting for you in your email.”

“When’s the –?”

“Seven o’clock tomorrow morning –well, this morning, technically.”

Rory sighed sadly.

“I’m so sorry kid; I know you have a lot on your plate. I wanted to give you this time, I really –”

“It’s okay Hugo, I understand.”

“How’s Jess holding up?”

“He’s… holding,” Rory said carefully.

Hugo knew better than to press her for more information. “Listen, I am going to make this up to you.”

“Hugo, you really don’t have to –”

“Don’t get modest and humble on me now, Gilmore. I’ve already booked you a flight back to Philadelphia on the twenty-first and I’m flying you from Philadelphia to D.C. the morning of the twenty-ninth, one day ahead of the DNC on the thirtieth. Will that give you enough time to prepare?”

“Yeah –I –but Hugo, you really don’t have to do that.”

“Nonsense, it’s the least I can do to splurge on my best reporter when she really needs it,” Hugo assured her.

“Hugo, I –thank you.”

“No problem. I really am sorry.”

Rory crept back into Jess’ apartment silently and started gathering her things –she didn’t have much, so it didn’t take her long. She lay in bed next to him for a few more hours. She considered waking him, but made the difficult decision not to –he _really_ needed his rest. It’s a well-known fact that bodies do most of their healing while you’re asleep.

Just after two in the morning, she crept over to the couch where Luke was sleeping and roused him quietly.

“What’s wrong?” Luke muttered sleepily. “Are you okay, Rory? Jess, is he –?”

“Jess is asleep Luke, he’s fine,” Rory whispered. “Listen, I just got a call from Hugo and he needs me in Manchester. He’s got me on a flight at seven. I hate to leave Jess –but I can’t –I don’t have a choice. I can’t bear to wake him. Hugo’s booked me a return flight back here on the twenty-first, the day after the event; he even arranged a flight from here to D.C. on the twenty-ninth, one day ahead of the DNC, so that I can spend as much time with Jess as possible.”

“Wow,” Luke said as he sat up. “You have the greatest boss ever.”

“I’m going to leave a note for Jess so he’s not confused, waking up to find me gone. But –I –Luke,” she stammered, biting back tears.

“I’m not leaving here Rory, whether you were pulled into work or not. I’ll make sure he’s okay and his friends or I will call you if _anything changes._ I promise.”

“I’m going to call too. A lot –like you might end up hating me,” Rory teased.

“In situations like this, that is absolutely acceptable,” Luke smiled. “Do you need a ride to the airport?”

“No, Chris heard me talking to Hugo in the hall, he said he’d take me. Thanks though.”

* * *

_Dear Jess,_

_I’m so sorry, but I had to go to New Hampshire. I’ll be back in two days. I’ve left you my ring, because I think you need a reminder more than I do right now: If you get scared, if you think I might not come back –just look at the ring and remember Jess. I’m yours; I love you._

_-Rory_

Rory wrote the note neatly on a tiny quarter of a page. She decided she was going to leave her ring with him, so she needed to come up with a way to make sure he’d see it and the note, before he got too confused. She took the tiny square of paper and found a hole punch in a drawer in Jess’ desk. One of her suit jackets had corset detailing up the back, with a bright blue ribbon. She pulled the ribbon out and cut off a few inches, threading her ring and the note through one end. Very carefully, she tied the ribbon around Jess’ wrist, and gently repositioned his arm so that his hand laid flat on his chest, right over his heart. Taking care to make sure that the ring and the note were situated at the top of his wrist, Rory was positive that as soon as he woke up and gazed down, he would see.

* * *

Jess woke up with the sun the next morning, pain creeping in and sleep slipping away as soon as his medication started wearing off. “Rory,” he said groggily. When she didn’t answer, his pulse started to race and his head began to pound. “Rory!” he called out, slightly panicked.

When Jess yelled, it woke Luke with a start. “Jess? Jess –calm down.”

“Where is she Luke? Where is –” Jess suddenly felt the weight of something that had been tied to his wrist. Looking down, he saw her Claddagh ring, and a piece of paper. He forced his eyes to focus.

Luke could see that he was struggling, but he knew better than to break the spell by offering to read to him.

As Jess concentrated painstakingly on reading Rory’s words, tears came to his eyes and for half a second, he failed to register that he was crying.

“She said she’d call,” Luke whispered after a long silence.

Just then, Luke’s phone buzzed from inside his pocket. He pulled it out and smiled when he looked at the screen, walking over to Jess.

“What?” Jess asked, confused.

“I think it’s for you,” Luke smiled, opening the phone and holding it to Jess’ ear.

Instantly, Jess’ face relaxed. “Rory,” he breathed, tears falling afresh from his eyes, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Dodger,” Rory replied, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Don’t give Luke too much of a hard time, okay? How are you feeling?”

“Sore, dizzy.”

“I’m sorry. Take it easy and I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Rory, I –”

“Jess, remember what I said? Rome wasn’t built in a day; we’ll work through this. I have an event to report on and you need to get some rest.”

“Resting’s all I’ve been doing, it’s –bor –boring.”

“Too bad. You need it. Can you put Luke back on?”

“What am I –chop liver? I know my face is all messed up right now, but, seriously?”

“You’re such a drama queen,” Rory giggled. “Relax. Luke and I have plans to work out.”

“Plans for why –plans for what?” Jess asked, getting frustrated with himself.

“The Great Thanksgiving Invasion of 2007. You said when I took this job that you’d spend all vacations in Stars Hollow, so that I could stay close to my family and Lane. My, the lengths you’ll go to in order to weasel out of that one! It’s impressive, really. That’s okay my love because this year, the crazy’s coming to you.”

“As long as I don’t have to deal with Babette, Miss Patty, Taylor or Kirk, I’m totally cool with that.”

“No, but you will have to deal with your mother.”

“Bring it on. I got drugs –but if TJ comes though, you’re gonna need to find me a better dealer,” Jess quipped breathlessly.


	40. Chapter 40

“Please, Dani Boy –you have to –to come,” Jess said, talking on the phone with Daniel. “I’ve been laid up in bed for days. My face is a disaster zone and my head –my head kills. I haven’t even been able to do any schoolwork. Rory’s arranging the great Thanksgiving Invasion of 2007 –we had a massive fight and the woman is arranging a –a feast.”

“I said I’d come, you don’t have to beg,” Daniel laughed. “I can’t wait to meet your mom and uncle, and the infamous Lorelai. So is she your… aunt now? Step-aunt? Is that a thing? If you and Rory get married, is she like, the step-aunt-in-law? Will you be committing incest?”

“Dude, I’m concussed. You’re asking too many questions. These are things Rory and I have been joking about for –for –for… she’s just Lorelai, okay? You’ll like her. You should prepare yourself though.”

“For what?”

“Lorelai.”

“Can you vague that up for me? What does that even mean?”

“You’ll see.”

“Should I be scared?” Daniel asked with a chuckle.

“Nerves would not go amiss; but not the serious kind. I can’t wait till she sees you blush,” Jess laughed. “I’m excited that you’ll finally get to experience a real Thanksgiving.”

“A _real_ Thanksgiving? Because in Canada, Thanksgiving consists of –”

“Maple syrup and bacon.”

“HA! Clearly your accident didn’t affect your snark. We do turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, the whole deal Jess –we even do pie!”

“Fine, whatever,” Jess said breathlessly.

“And I’ll have you know, bacon wrapped turkey is a gift from God,” Daniel added.

“Sign me up. But our pie is still better than yours.”

“It would be unfair of me to pick a fight with you when you’re injured and unable to think rationally.”

“Wimp. It’s because you know I’m –I’m right. You’re too nice. Remind me to teach you a thing or two about how to be an ass –asshole.”

“You sound tired, I’ll let you go. What time should I be there for dinner tomorrow?”

“Around five?”

“Sounds good. Take it easy Jess.”

Jess closed his eyes, wincing at the light; he leaned back and rested his head uncomfortably against the pillow. Luke was out gathering ingredients for Thanksgiving. He was sure Rory was supposed to be back soon, but he couldn’t remember.

The time immediately following the accident had become a huge blur –he barely remembered being at the hospital, or calling Luke the next morning. He remembered that not calling Rory was a choice and the image of her looking at him, sad and terrified was seared into his memory. Her words during their fight were sharp and clear; he would never forget ‘unconscious, incapacitated or a tag on your toe,’ –he had a feeling that would haunt him for a long time.

“Never again,” he whispered to himself, clutching the ribbon around his wrist. Jess refused to shower, because he didn’t want to take it off. When his friends and Luke tried to convince him otherwise, he reminded them that Luke had helped him wash up the same day that Rory left. She was only going to be gone for two days; not nearly long enough that he ran the risk of becoming gross. Everyone gave up the fight, not wanting to aggravate him.

“’Never again’ what?” Rory asked quietly, as she slipped into his apartment.

Jess didn’t even hear the door open. The sound of Rory’s soft voice sent a jolt through his system. His eyes opened wide and he turned at the noise, once again forgetting his injuries. He hated being so easy to startle. His body clenched and refused to relax; Jess moaned in pain and struggled to catch his breath.

“Jess,” Rory said, rushing over to him, “easy, you’re okay.”

Jess took a few heavy breaths and opened his eyes, the feeling of Rory holding him securely grounding him back down. “I –I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Rory smiled. “Your bruises look a tiny bit better. Are you alright?”

“Better now,” but he winced still.

“What’s wrong?”

“My –my head’s itchy. And it also hurts. Not a good combination.”

“No, I bet it isn’t,” Rory said, running her fingers very delicately along Jess’ scalp. “Are those the same clothes you were in when I left? Why haven’t you changed? Haven’t you washed?”

“Nope.”

“Why? No wonder you’re uncomfortable.”

Jess held up his wrist. “I didn’t want to take it off –or ruin your note.”

“You’re such a sap,” Rory laughed.

“I blame the concussion.”

“Well I’m here now. If I take my ring back, will you let me help you wash?”

Jess looked at her and smiled –a ghost of his trademark smirk, but it was there. “Sponge baths are the best part of this whole deal –but only if you’re the one with the sponge.”

“You’re such a guy.”

“Last time I checked, yeah.”

“Remind me to get you a shower stool for when you can finally start taking that brace off your neck.” Rory picked up Jess’ hand and gave it a loving squeeze before carefully untying the ribbon and slipping her ring back on.

“Can I ask you something silly?” Jess said quietly.

“You can ask me anything.”

“Will you… will you –will you kiss me? Not like it’s 1817 and we’re courting –a real kiss.”

“Won’t it –won’t it hurt?” Rory asked, worried.

“Yeah, but love is pain.”

“How will you, you know… breathe?”

“I’m asking for a little tongue, not a high school make-out session, Ror. I’m sure you’ll stop before I suffocate,” Jess chuckled. “If I’m too hideous right now, you can totally say so. I promise I won’t hold it against you.”

Rory laughed quietly and placed her hands on Jess’ shoulders. Leaning in, she pressed her forehead against his and carefully brushed her lips against his. She let him set the pace and when he opened his mouth slightly, she let her lips mirror his exactly, taking care not to latch onto any part of his injured skin; their tongues tangled together chastely. Jess pulled her closer weakly and tried to latch onto her lips more firmly, but as soon as he closed his mouth against her skin, the pressure was too much and he jerked away, his eyes screwed tightly shut, groaning softly –trying to swallow the pain.

Rory kept her hands firmly on his shoulders to keep him steady and waited patiently, careful not to let any fear creep into her features. Slowly, Jess met her gaze once again, his eyes glassy with tears of pain that he was trying to hold in.

“Sorry,” Jess said thickly, sucking in a sharp breath, “I bet this is so super sexy, you can’t even stand it, huh? Christ.”

“Jess, it’s okay,” Rory whispered.

Jess bent his elbow and grabbed one of Rory’s hands, which were still resting on his shoulders. He started to tremble. “I hate this Rory,” he said so quietly she could barely hear him. “Everything’s fuzzy and I can’t –I can’t. But what I did to you isn’t fuzzy –that was just me being stupid. I’m so sorry I scared you. When my face flew into that steering wheel, I thought –I thought –I –I…”

“Shhh, Jess. Come on. Take a breath. It’s alright.”

“No!” Jess yelled, “it’s not! I –it’s not.”

Rory sighed sadly, but held back her tears. “Jess, you were scared and you made a mistake. A not small mistake –one that we both have to make sure neither of us make again, you or me. I’m just glad you’re okay. It could have been so much worse. I was scared too, I still am.”

“I’m sorry.”

“We’re both dealing with the same scary thing from two different angles. So, wouldn’t it make the most sense if we –if we tried to help each other?”  

“Yeah,” Jess sighed. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired. My head is killing me, it’s too bright in here."  
  
“I’ll go downstairs and get one of the guys to help me cover the windows. Are you due for any of your meds?”

“Yeah.”

“Here,” Rory said grabbing the bottles, “I’ll help you take the ones you need, then we can get the guys to cover your windows and we’ll rest before I help you get cleaned up, okay? I’m pretty tired too.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot. How was the thing?”

“It was a thing. Nothing special. I’ll tell you about it later. Right now, I have more exciting things happening.”

“Like what?”

“Napping with my boyfriend before the main event.”

“Sponge baths will never be better than sex, but I guess they’ll have to do for now,” Jess laughed. “I l-love you.”

Rory took Jess’ hand and brought it to her face, holding his palm against her cheek. “I love you too.”

* * *

Thanksgiving was upon them and Liz was panicking; she froze on the steps outside of Truncheon’s door. “What if he doesn’t remember me?”

“Liz,” Lorelai sighed, trying to maintain her patience, “he’ll remember you, I promise. Luke said his short-term memory is the only thing that’s been occasionally foggy.”

“Okay, but what if I freak out when I see him?”

“He’s your son. Why would you freak out?”

“Bruising and swelling makes me queasy. When TJ messed up his arm at the Renaissance fair a few years ago, I couldn’t look at him without wincing unless it was in the sling.”

“Oh –that doesn’t bode well.”

“Why do you think I didn’t come a few days ago? I wanted to wait…”

“You do know that bruises tend to look worse before they start getting –you know what? Never mind,” Lorelai smiled. “He’s your son, you’d be surprised, the things you’re able to stomach in the name of your children.”

“If you say so,” Liz said uneasily. “At least I came, not like TJ –I swear I could kill that man.”

“Well, he is your husband, if anyone’s got the prerogative, it’s you –”

“My stomach’s stronger than _his._ Who poops out of Thanksgiving with your family because Philadelphia’s too far and ‘technically, they’re not my family and you know, injured people make me uncomfortable…’ Ugh! He is so infuriating!”

“Are you ready to go in, Liz?” Lorelai asked.

“Yeah, sorry. Let’s go,” Liz sighed.

Lorelai knocked on the door gently before opening it slowly and inching inside. Liz wouldn’t move a muscle until Lorelai had gone all the way in.

“Hey, Liz. Good to see you!” Joe said pleasantly, followed closely by the other guys.

“Hey you guys,” Liz said, hugging each one of them in turn.

Lorelai cleared her throat awkwardly.

“Ah ha, Lorelai, good to see you, you’re beautiful as ever,” Andrew said, moving in to hug her.

“Aw, you’re sweet. Stop,” Lorelai winked.

“You’re seriously telling me to stop –?”

“No! Of course not! I never get tired of hearing about the ravishness of me! God knows, Luke never tells me enough.”

“You’re full of it! Yes I do!” Luke yelled from the kitchen at the very back of the main floor.

Lorelai jumped. “Freakish hearing –I’ll never get used to it.”

“I heard that!”

“Uh –I love you honey!”

"Love you too!”

Matt and Chris burst out laughing.

“You two are too perfect for each other,” Chris said.

“We know,” Lorelai and Luke said in unison, Luke still yelling from the other end of the house.

“Big brother!” Liz shouted. “Where are ya?”

“Back here Liz! Follow the smell! Where’s TJ?”

“Oh my God, I’m going to kill that tiny annoying man!”

“I’ll help!”

“Can I help too? I might be able to scare him to death, with the current beauty of this mug,” Jess said breathlessly from the top of the stairs, pointing weakly at his injured face.

“You really shouldn’t make me laugh,” Daniel said. “I’m the one doing the majority of the holding you up, here, Jess. I don’t want to be responsible for sending you flying down the stairs; somehow I don’t think Rory would be able to save you. No offense Rory.”

“None taken. You are in fact very, very right,” Rory said. “Matt! Can you take over? I don’t think I’m strong enough to help him down the stairs.”

Jess was standing, supported by Daniel on one side and Rory on the other and she was already starting to buckle under his weight, which was deader than usual.

“Yeah, coming,” Matt said, sprinting up the stairs.

“Is it me, or has this flight of stairs gotten –gotten bigger?” Jess asked, starting to lose his balance.

“Whoa, somehow I don’t trust you to walk,” Daniel said, tightening his grip.

“What are you gonna do, Frenchie, carry me?” Jess smirked.

“Okay, just so you know, Mister Our-Apple-Pie-Is-Better-Because-Of-All-The-Freedom –you just used your only shot. The next time you call me Frenchie, I’m hitting you.”

“You wouldn’t –I’m injured and vulnerable. I have a _brain injury_. Besides, you can’t carry me, even with Matt’s help.”

“You’re forgetting that you are one person and you’re outnumbered five to one. At least you’re not like, six-foot-four.”

“You’re right, I’m not, but I knew a guy once... Men who are six-foot-four are pussies.”

“You’ll have to tell me about that sometime,” Daniel said.

“No he doesn’t. Trust me, you don’t wanna know,” Matt said discreetly, replacing Rory. “In fact, he’ll probably forget that he even said that. If you’re wise, you’ll let it stay forgotten.”

“It’s already forgotten.”

“Thank you, Daniel,” Rory said quietly.

“No problem,” he said genuinely.

“Okay, this is gonna have to be a team thing,” Matt said. “Rory, would you mind going down ahead and pulling a chair out from the table? We’re gonna need to take him all the way to his chair once we pick him up.”

“I’d rather stay behind you, protect his head if you guys slip,” Rory said. “Mom, pull a chair out! They’re carrying him down and they want to be able to sit him right down.”

“Carrying him down? Lorelai asked, concerned. “But how are they gonna –?”

“Boys!” Matt yelled. “All hands on deck, we need to get Mariano down the stairs in one piece and you know what that means. I hope you ate your Wheaties this morning, fellas!”

Instantly, Chris Joe and Andrew filed into place. Matt and Daniel put Jess’ arms around their necks and held tight to each other’s wrists behind his back. Chris and Joe each grabbed a leg and gripped each other’s forearms securely behind Jess’ knees. Andrew spotted them from the front, walking slowly backwards down the stairs ahead of them, while Rory brought up the rear, holding Jess’ head gently, to keep it steady.

“Wow,” Lorelai said. “I’m impressed, that’s quite the system you’ve got for –wow.”

“It’s a big flight of stairs. We can’t exactly have him falling all over the place every time he needs to move between floors –which, granted, hasn’t been that often but still, gotta have a system,” Joe said, slightly winded. “At least today there are enough people to have spotters.”

“Chair?” Andrew asked.

Lorelai pointed. “Chair.”

“Awesome, thanks Lorelai,” Chris said, none of the guys breaking pace until Jess was comfortably and safely seated.

“I could get used to such –such re –regal treatment,” Jess joked.

“Don’t take this the wrong way man, but we _really_ hope you never have to,” Matt said, tapping Jess’ shoulder gently.

“Jess,” Lorelai said warmly. “How are you? You had us worried there, mini-Sly.”

“A little better every day, but it’s slow going –frustrating. I’m going to apologize now if I fly off the handle at all… having a short fuse is normal, post-concussion wise. I’m Syndrome Guy now.”

“Yeah, because you were Passive Tranquility Guy before,” Lorelai teased. “We’re just glad you’re okay.”

“Thanks Lorelai,” Jess smiled at her, ignoring the pain it caused.

“We really are,” Rory whispered, reaching for Jess’ hand.

“So where’s the rest of the crazy crew?” Jess asked. “I should make the ‘proper’ introductions –for Dani Boy here, who agreed to partake in craziness without knowing just how _crazy_ crazy can be.”

“Hey man, I’m here for the pie –after how much you hyped it up, it better not disappoint –if it does, I’ll never let you forget it,” Daniel teased.

“Luke and Liz are in the kitchen, I’ll get them,” Rory said, pecking Jess gently on the sweet spot on his forehead before dashing to find the rest of the Danes clan.

“Ah, so you’re the Canadian export I’ve been hearing about. I’m Lorelai. No one told me you were gorgeous!”

Daniel blushed scarlet.

“Oh come on. Have you _seen_ you? I can’t be the first one to notice –your cheeks are rosy, your skin is perfect, that thick head of wavy brown hair, with eyes to match, you’re tall, you’re built… where did Jess find you, a Chip & Dale calendar?”

“What did I tell you,” Jess said to Daniel.

Daniel giggled.

“AND you _giggle_! I didn’t think men giggled at all anymore,” Lorelai exclaimed.

“We do, we just don’t like to admit it,” Jess said _._

“And just as I suspected, you have a smile that would make any straight woman or gay man weak in the knees.”

“You can stop now,” Daniel said quietly.

“Really, why? Because I could go on for –”

“You do realize you’re married to _me_ , right?” Luke said breathlessly, carrying a giant platter with a perfectly golden brown turkey.

“Well yeah, but that’s only because I get food,” Lorelai winked.

“Okay, stop bombarding the poor kid, come eat.”

“Thank you,” Daniel whispered to Luke.

“No problem. If she starts up again, I’ll lead her away with coffee flavoured chocolate.”

Liz followed closely behind Luke with a heavy dish of mashed potatoes, which she almost threw across the room when she saw Jess. “Oh! My baby!”

Jess’ head started to throb as soon as the high-pitched cry left her mouth. Rory took his hand and intertwined their fingers. “Breathe,” she whispered to him.

Joe lunged towards Liz to catch the mashed potatoes before she dropped the whole batch on the floor.

“We’ll just… get the rest of the stuff from the main kitchen. Come on guys,” Andrew said to the rest of the Truncheon boys.

“Oh, Jess! Are you okay?” Liz asked, almost beside herself. She inched towards him very slowly, almost like she was scared he’d keel over if she got too close. She reached out to touch his face and he flinched away.

“I’m fine, Li –I’m fine, Mom. I mean, I’m not really _fine_ , but I am, I’m fine. Just –just don’t touch my face,” Jess said, as gently as he could. He couldn’t help it, but his mother was already starting to make his blood boil.

“Right, right. Sorry honey,” Liz said awkwardly. She settled for rubbing his arm lovingly.

“Come on Liz, let’s eat,” Luke said to his sister, pulling her away gently to sit at the opposite end of the table and winking to Jess and Rory discreetly.

“So Daniel, tell us about Thanksgiving in Canada,” Liz said as they started passing food around.

“It’s pretty much exactly the same deal, only about five weeks earlier,” Daniel said.

“Why do you pronounce your name like a girl?”

“Seriously?” Jess sighed. “Coming from the woman who decided to name me ‘Jess’ that’s rich. Like you were supposed to have a girl but when you found out I was a boy it didn’t even faze you, like ‘Nope, I’m sticking with a name that’s given to girls _all the time_ ,’” Jess snapped.

“‘Jess’ is short for Jesse, which is a perfectly legitimate male name,” Liz said defensively.

Daniel laughed. “My dad’s French-Canadian. Daniel in French is pronounced like ‘Danielle,’”

“You can speak French?”

“Oui, Madame,” Daniel said in a perfect French-Canadian accent.

“Oh! That is so precious!” Liz squealed.

Jess tried to put food on his own plate, but his hands were too unsteady. When he started cursing under his breath, Rory leaned over to give the side of his head a kiss and silently took over.

No one thought, however, to offer to cut his turkey. Jess figured the task would be a struggle, but he didn’t want to ask anyone to do it for him. He wanted to be able to do one thing himself –besides which, as a twenty-three-year-old man, it was an extremely embarrassing thing to need help doing, even more so than something overt and obvious. Picking up his knife and fork, he could barely grip them strongly enough to keep from dropping them, let alone try to undertake the fine-motor skill of cutting his food properly. He stayed quiet about it, hoping to avoid looking stereotypically injured and helpless.

Daniel glanced at Jess and saw him struggling. Without missing a beat or making a big deal, he simply put his hand over Jess’, saving the knife from crashing to the floor. Staying seated, Daniel pulled Jess’ plate over an inch or two and started setting about cutting his meat into perfectly proportioned bite-sized pieces.

Jess struggled to focus his blurry eyes, glaring in disbelief.

“What?” Daniel asked him quietly. “Oh geez. Did you want me to let you do it? Sorry, I just saw you were about to drop your knife –I saw you struggling and I thought –I thought it would be easier if I helped. Sorry. I can stop.”

At this, everyone looked up.

“No,” Jess said, still staring, “it’s okay. I just –I’ve never seen anyone just intuitively –do that. Thanks. It’d be stone cold by the time I figured it out –that, and I may very well be wearing it.”

“Sorry,” Daniel whispered again, continuing to cut.

“Why are you sorry? I really thought that Canadians being apologetic was a bad stereotype. Or maybe Americans are so rude on a regular basis that Canadians just _seem_ saintly in comparison. But you, Dani Boy –now I understand where –where the stereotype comes from.”

“You offered to teach me how to be an asshole –little did you know how difficult that would be, eh?”

Matt laughed. “Did you just say ‘eh’?! You really are Canadian.”

“The cultural stereotype is shutting up now,” Daniel said, handing Jess his fork. “If you need anything else Jess, just say.”

“You know Daniel,” Luke said, “you didn’t have the pleasure of knowing Jess when he was little more than a walking scowl in a leather jacket. You’re being far nicer than anyone else at this table would be, besides maybe Rory. See, if you weren’t here, we’d probably just rip dinner rolls into tiny pieces and throw them at him until we got some in his mouth.”

“I hate you all,” Jess muttered.

“Even me?” Rory asked.

“That depends –would you throw bread at my face?”

“Maybe, but I’d stand closer to you so that you got more of it in your mouth –and I’d probably stop _way_ before everyone else.”

“I would still love you and I’d hate you way less than everyone else, but I’d still hate you a little.”

“‘ _Real_ _love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting_.’”

“Ugh, can you guys save the _Buffy_ quotes for after dinner please?” Chris asked.

“Hey,” Jess said, “this isn’t just me and Rory dorking out over _Buffy_. For us –that quote couldn’t be more –more true.”

“Fine,” Andrew said, “but we still want you to stop.”

“Oh yeah? Rory and Jess don’t get choked up _every_ time they watch _Serenity_ , Andrew,” Matt pointed out.

“Hey! It’s not my fault that I can never be okay with Joss Whedon killing the characters that _everyone_ loves the most!”

“‘ _Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal_ ,’” Chris quoted with a chuckle, just to watch Andrew squirm.

“If I may,” Lorelai interjected, gesturing to Andrew, “I’m pretty sure this is why he does it. That’s part of Whedon’s genius.”

“Touché,” Joe said, raising his glass to Lorelai.

Liz and Luke looked at each other, hopelessly lost. “Who’s Joss Whedon?” they asked in unison.

“Seriously?!” Joe asked in disbelief.

“Don’t be too hard on him,” Lorelai said. “When it comes to TV, he can be a little dense.”

“What’s Liz’s excuse?” Daniel asked. Everyone was shocked that he was the one to voice this. “We have TV in Canada, you guys. We don’t live in igloos and we do, occasionally eat more than just maple syrup and bacon.”

“Oh my God! And you shall now be known as Canadian Bacon,” Lorelai laughed.

* * *

“For such a self-proclaimed misanthrope, you managed to pack the house tonight, Jess. For a _holiday dinner_ no less,” Luke said with a smirk a he helped Jess settle in upstairs after the meal.

“Rory’s idea, not mine,” Jess said drowsily.

“Yeah, but you agreed.”

“One –I love her. Two –two, I’m recovering from whiplash and a head injury and I’m clearly not in my right mind.”

“You invited an extra person.”

“Frienchie? He’s the only one outside of… pretty much everyone else ever that I can actually stand.”

“What about –?”  
             
“Liz? She’s my mother. I love her, but she doesn’t count. She’s hardly near and barely dear. I’ve only had a non-shitty relationship with her for like, two years.”

“Fair enough. Daniel’s so nice,” Luke mused. “Like, genuinely wouldn’t-hurt-a-fly nice, like, guy-that-only-exists-in-movies nice.”

“Yeah well, he is Canadian,” Jess shrugged.

“Yeah, but you befriended like, the _nicest_ one. Aren’t you worried he’ll rub off on you?”

“I’m going to teach him the ways of asshole one-oh-one. I’m the one who’ll be rubbing off. Besides, he took a shot at Liz –he gets points for that.”

“So, what did he think of the great American apple pie? Which, by the way is totally better than even the best apple pie in all of Canada.”

“He said that it was pretty amazing, but that it wasn’t necessarily _better_ than Canadian apple pie,” Jess said, rolling his eyes.

“Evil,” Luke muttered under his breath.

“I know –not so perfectly nice now, huh?”

“Well, it hardly makes him a criminal –but seriously? American apple pie is –”

“I know, right? He’s skating on thin ice –and they have entire canal in Ottawa that freezes in the winter that’s thick enough to skate on. It becomes like, the longest outdoor skating rink on North America… or something. They make a week long festival of winter activities –Winterlude, I think; they have skating, ice sculptures, the whole deal, for a whole –a whole _week_. And it gets –gets _cold_ there, Luke.”

“Clearly being out in the cold so much has also frozen a few of his brain cells in the process. No way Canadian apple pie is better than ours.”

Jess chuckled. “I love how you think the only reason Daniel doesn’t think our pie is the best is because it’s so cold in Ottawa that his brain cells have been damaged. I love that _that_ –of all things, is the first and most logical conclusion you come … up …. with.”

“I’ll send Rory up, I’m about to go down and relieve her of her cleaning duties,” Luke whispered.

“Thanks … thanks, Uncle Luke… I love you man, thanks for … for dinner.”

“No worries Jess. Lorelai and Liz and I are gonna take off after we’re done cleaning up, we’ll come up to say goodbye if you’re awake. But we should get back to Stars Hollow before it gets too late. Once Rory goes back out on the trail, you call me if you need _anything_. I mean it, Jess. _Anything._ I can be here in three hours, anytime, day or night.”

“I know. Don’t worry, I’ll call. I promise. Thank you Lu –Luke.

“I’m just glad I can finish my semester from home; my exams have all been deferred until January and I’ve been granted extensions on major assignments. I have access to all the readings and assignment submissions are even done elec –electronically, some of them anyway. At home, I can set my own pace but still get it done. It’ll be hell … first few weeks back, but I’ll finish the semester. I won’t let this make me fall so far behind that I can’t graduate when I should.”

Luke smiled.

“I’ll be okay, I have the guys and Daniel, you shouldn’t feel ashamed to –start getting –start getting back to your life.”

“Okay, but if you need _anything_ –”

“I’ll call, or one of the guys will. Or Rory will –I’m not fucking up like that again with her, I’ve learned my –my lesson.”

“I know Jess,” Luke whispered to him as his nephew’s eyes drifted closed. Jess was asleep almost as soon as Rory’s name had fallen from his lips.   


	41. Chapter 41

It had been just over two months since Jess’ accident. He was so happy to get back to school in the new year, he would have done a happy dance if he didn’t still experience the odd dizzy spell and regular migraines –also, he didn’t dance. Period.

Anyone who didn’t know Jess would never know that he’d been in an accident. Things had changed though. He had difficulty concentrating for extremely long periods of time; he needed to register with the center for accommodations at Temple so that he could have extra time for his exams and write them in a quiet room with minimal distractions. The stutter that set in after the accident was almost unnoticeable, but it was still there and it kicked into high gear when he was stressed, tired or angry. His hands still shook sometimes if he was fatigued, or if he wrote for too long and he was more forgetful than before.

The most noticeable change was that Jess now wore glasses for reading, computer work and anything distance related; he embraced the hot nerd look and opted for black rectangular frames –the kicker was that they weren’t plastic, they were lightweight titanium with gunmetal grey arms and he got transitions lenses for that pesky sensitivity to light insisted upon lingering around.

He was right –finishing his semester from home was a challenge and it was hell on him when he returned in the new year, especially with his new issues surrounding fatigue. But he persevered and managed to survive it; by the time February started, Jess was finally getting back into the groove of his routine. Though he wasn’t driving yet, his doctor and physical therapist assured him that in another few months, he’d be able to re-take his driving test –but he was in no particular hurry to get back behind the wheel. He definitely wanted to get his license back and he had no phobia about driving per se; but Philadelphia had a great public transit system, he lived twenty minutes away from Temple on foot and Rory was away on the campaign, so he had no specific need to be driving anywhere.   

“Man, I’m so happy to be matriculating again,” Jess said to Daniel over their Monday afternoon coffee –though Jess had switched to tea for the time being because oddly, he could handle caffeinate tea but coffee exacerbated his shakiness.

“I bet. I’m happy to have you back,” Daniel said with a smile.

“No, you don’t even understand. You didn’t know me before. The fact that I am happy to be getting back to normalcy is one thing –but to be happy to be back at school? Everyone, including me and ex-excluding only Rory, probably thought they’d die before –”

“Yeah, you told me it’s been a pretty drastic one-eighty for you over the last three years or so.”

“It really has been.”

“How’s Rory? Where’s she at in this great country of, well… yours?”

“Hey now, don’t knock –”

“I’m not! I mean that in the literal sense –I came to Philly for school. I’m not an American citizen.”

“Would you ever consider bec-becoming one? Or getting dual citizenship?”

“Depends on what happens after graduation –five years is a long way off. The job prospects are pretty shitty all around. And if I have to listen to one more person tell me what a useless Degree English Lit is, or just assume that I’m going to be a teacher, like that’s the only thing English majors ever do I’ll –”

“Huff and puff? Or will you live dangerously and risk being rude to tell them to shut the hell up?” Jess asked with a smirk.

“Very funny,” Daniel deadpanned. “You’re lucky, you already work at a publishing house and you have published work. Your trajectory is pretty much set.”

“Yeah, I do want to stay in the publishing slash writing world… I hope anyway. Sorry, you asked me a question before, I forgot.”

“Yeah. How’s Rory? Where’s the campaign taking her these days?”

“Her latest article was following Super Tuesday; I think she’s headed to New Orleans next and then there are a few things in Virginia and then… I can’t remember anything beyond that.”

“You guys have a big anniversary coming up, right –didn’t you tell me that?”

“Yeah, two years at the end of the month –the twenty-fifth,” Jess couldn’t help but smile.

“Are you going to get to see her?” Daniel asked.

“Sadly no. She has an event to cover here in Philly on March eighteenth and she has a few days downtime after the event prior to Philly, so she’ll be here from the thirteenth to the nineteenth, which actually coincides with part of our spring break, so that’s kinda –kinda perfect. We’re gonna celebrate then. It’ll be almost a month after the fact, but what can you do; on the bright side, I’ll be all the more healed and ready for hot sex,” he smirked.

* * *

February 8, 2008

_Dear Jess,_

_I hope that most of the school related stress you’re feeling now is just the normal kind. How are you managing with everything? If you’re still feeling overwhelmed, remember that you are brilliant and a concussion does not change that; take your time with everything. Yes, things are different now, but you are no less smart or less capable than you were before. The fact that you managed to finish your first semester of freshman year at home while recovering from an accident and you are back to school less than three months later –it just proves how strong you are._

_This campaign is getting intense! Obama may just clinch that nomination. If his speech following Super Tuesday was any indication, he’s headed for one monumental presidential campaign. He said, “_ _It’s a choice between a candidate who’s taken more money from Washington lobbyists than either Republican in this race and a campaign that has not taken a dime of their money because we have been funded by you. You have funded this campaign…_ _And if I am your nominee, my opponent will not be able to say that I voted for the war in Iraq, because I didn’t, or that I gave George Bush the benefit of the doubt on Iran, because I haven’t, or that I support the Bush-Cheney doctrine of not talking to leaders we don’t like, because I profoundly disagree with that approach. And he will not be able to say that I wavered on something as fundamental as whether or not it's okay for America to use torture, because it’s never okay. That is the choice in this election… The Republicans running for president have already tied themselves to the past. They speak of a one hundred year war in Iraq. They talk about billions more in tax breaks for the wealthiest few, who don’t need them and didn’t even ask for them, tax breaks that mortgage our children's future on a mountain of debt at a time when there are families who can't pay their medical bills and students who can’t pay their tuition.”_

_New Orleans seems like a cool place. Obama talked about it as a place where all races, languages and religions can come together to create something special and unique –an imperfect place made perfect through it’s promise of forgiveness –that particular remark reminded me of us, as corny as that sounds. Anyway, he said, “_ _To many Americans, the words New Orleans call up images of broken levees; water rushing through the streets; mothers holding babies up to avoid the flood. And worse –the memory of a moment when America's government failed its citizens. Because when the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast extended their hand for help, help wasn't there. When people looked up from the rooftops, for too long they saw empty sky. When the winds blew and the floodwaters came, we learned that for all of our wealth and power, something wasn’t right with America…_ _When President Bush came down to Jackson Square two weeks after the storm, the setting was spectacular and his promises soaring: ‘We will do what it takes,’ he said. ‘We will stay as long as it takes, to help citizens rebuild their communities and their lives.’ But over two years later, those words have been caught in a tangle of half-measures, half-hearted leadership, and red tape…_ _Yes, parts of New Orleans are coming back to life. But we also know that over twenty-five hundred families are still living in small trailers; that thousands of homes sit empty and condemned; and that schools and hospitals and firehouses are shuttered. We know that even though the streetcars run, there are fewer passengers; that even though the parades sound their joyful noise, there is too much violence in the shadows…_ _To confront these challenges we have to understand that Katrina may have battered these shores, but it also exposed silent storms that have ravaged parts of this city and our country for far too long –the storms of poverty and joblessness; inequality and injustice_. _”_

_Remember in the spring, when you encouraged me to take this job? You told me that something was happening with this campaign, something huge –something every reporter in the world wanted to have the chance to report on; history was being made. You have no idea how right you were. After Super Tuesday yesterday –things are getting real, Jess. Obama’s not just the Senator from Chicago who could make history, my gut is telling me that he will make history –my gut’s telling me he’s going to make it all the way to the White House._

_So, I think I met the love of Daniel’s life. Her name is Lydia and she’s even Canadian! Her mom is Canadian and her dad is American. Her parents are based in Ottawa right now –how crazy is that? She has duel citizenship and went to college here in the States. She’s been following Obama’s campaign for a small online publication like Hugo’s, so we’ve been randomly finding ourselves staying in all the same hotels since I went back out on the campaign trail after Christmas. She’s really great; we actually put Hugo and her boss in touch so that he could room together on the road._ _We’ve totally bonded in the last few months._ _She’s fantastic_ _–so sweet and funny and fun and she’s so adorable it’s ridiculous. She’s petit and fair-skinned and covered in freckles and she has beautiful red hair and blue eyes. She reminds me of Anne of Green Gables, but cuter. She’s perfect for Daniel, so I hope he hasn’t fallen in love with someone else, because I’m pretty sure Lydia’s going to be his wife one day, and then they can have adorable ginger babies together! We need to make this happen Dodger –they’d be perfect for each other._

_Okay, I’ve rambled on long enough. I love you very much! Talk to me soon._

_-Rory  
_

* * *

February 9, 2008

_Dear Rory,_

_What is it with all the Canadians, eh? Lydia sounds great. Daniel’s currently unattached –turns out he has no patience for women who lose the power to think or speak rationally as soon as they find themselves in his presence. We have fun chuckling at them. I love that little bits of my misanthropy are rubbing off on him. I’ve had to teach him Luke’s old trick of not sitting down in bars –no lap means no lap to sit on (did I ever tell you about that? I was dragged out for TJ’s ‘bachelor party’ and was more interested in reading my book than watching women mud wrestle). If Lydia can keep her wits about her and not turn into a bumbling fool as soon as she sees him, she’s got a decent shot._

_Side note, but what’s with all the L’s? Lorelai, Luke, Lane, Liz and now there’s a Lydia? Your middle name is Leigh… can we not add to the already ridiculously long list? If we have kids, no L’s, please. Or, middle names only._

_School’s going well. Still really stressful, but mostly the normal kind of stress. I passed all my exams. But the whole experience is different now –since the accident, the place where I notice the most change in myself is in school. Somehow Truncheon stress and school stress are different. I really hate how easily I can get flustered now, because as soon as I get flustered it makes everything worse._

_The campaign’s been pretty hard not to follow; that would be the case even if you weren’t my girlfriend. I think you’re right –I think Obama’s onto something and it could take him all the way to Pennsylvania Avenue. Everyone at school is buzzing about it too. It’s a good year for me to be in an intro political science course; I’m glad I chose it. If anyone asks, I planned it that way, okay? I planned waiting this long to go to college just so that I could take a poly-sci course the year Obama decided to run for president._

_Forgive me for not writing an email as long as yours –I feel a migraine coming on, and my eyes still aren’t used to these glasses. The doctors assure me that my eyes will adjust, the prescription is right and I just have to give it time, but I can’t live in the dark and not read anything, so until my eyes sort their shit out, life is quite literally a headache. Very few people can totally sympathize with how heartbreaking it is for me to be unable to read or write for too long before some part of my body either starts to hurt or shake, but I know you can._

_Talk to me soon, okay? I love you. I miss you._

_-Jess  
_

* * *

 “How’s Jess doing?” Lane asked Rory over the phone.

“He’s doing a lot better; he asked me to apologize to you that he hasn’t been to visit you and the twins lately. He didn’t want to scare them, he looked pretty messed up for a few weeks and now… well now he’s just getting his feet back underneath him at school and –”

“Please, Rory, tell him it’s totally okay, we’re just glad _he’s_ okay.”

“I will.”

“How’ve you been with all this? We haven’t talked much since… it must have been pretty scary.”

“Yeah,” Rory sighed. “I think I’m just starting to relax about it now… he’s back at school… it’s better.”

“You guys have an anniversary coming up, don’t you?”

“Yeah we do. Two years at the end of the month. God, can you believe it?”

“Actually, I can,” Lane smiled. “I’m a Kim, we know things. I had a feeling that if you guys could make it work, it’d be game over for both of you. You’re it for each other. But it must be hard, being apart so much.”

“It really is. We won’t even get to see each other until three weeks after our anniversary, which really sucks. I miss him so much. I miss everyone.”

“Have you two talked about life after the campaign?”

“Yeah. I’m going to start look for jobs in Philadelphia before the campaign’s even over. I plan on moving there by the end of the calendar year, after election night –if it goes that far. But if it does, I’ve talked to Hugo about moving to Philadelphia and tracking Obama as President-elect from there, traveling to D.C. for the biggest stories –which isn’t even that far anyway- and then for his inauguration in early 2009 and he seems alright with that scenario.

“Jess supported me with this, gave me the push I needed to put my career first with this campaign; so after this is over, I have to support him the way he did for me. After the campaign, it’ll be time for my personal life to come first for a while. Once he’s done at Temple, we’ll see where we are.”

“Are you going to live together?”

“Eventually. We’re just looking forward to being in the same city –hell, the same state. We don’t want to go from extreme long distance to living together right away. We might implode.”

“Makes sense.”

“We think so. But we’ll probably essentially be living together anyway,” Rory laughed.

“I would assume you will,” Lane agreed. “But it’s still better not to rush into something just because you’re excited and impatient.”

“Exactly.”

“Oh geez Rory, I gotta go –the babies are crying. You’re doing an awesome job! I miss you.”

“Miss you too, Lane.”

* * *

Jess and Rory agreed not to go overboard for their anniversary; they got each other lighthearted gifts –they’d had enough seriousness going on for a while. It was extremely hard for them to be apart, but at the same time, they couldn’t let the day pass with _no_ recognition of its significance; they couldn’t save it all until Rory was in Philadelphia in March. They’d both found what they believed was the perfect token to mark the occasion and agreed to be on the phone together when they opened their presents.

“Okay, ready?” Rory asked, the package from Jess in her lap.

“Yup. One… two… three… go!” Jess counted off. He waited until he heard rustling on Rory’s end to rip into his own gift.

They both erupted into hysterical laughter. They’d both gotten each other the same erotic novel, which they chose because of its title: _Howl_.

“Oh my God,” Jess laughed. “I so t-t-totally love you!”

Rory was laughing so hard that tears came to her eyes, “Oh my God I love you too!”

Eventually, Jess caught his breath. “Okay, open it,” he started laughing again, “flip through it. I left you –”

“You did _not_ ,” Rory cackled. “Flip through yours!”

Not only had they gotten each other the same erotic novel, but they’d even left notes for each other in the margins.

“Oh my God, if this is not a sign that we are perfect for each other, I have no idea what is,” Jess said, still laughing.

“I know right? I bet you our margin notes are different though…” Rory said seductively.  
             
“I bet they are. We will definitely have even more fun with the x-rated margin notes, written just for each other,” Jess agreed with a sexy smirk he knew Rory would notice.

Rory sighed. “I love you Jess, so much,” she said sincerely, “I miss you all the time.”

“Rory,” Jess said lovingly, his eyes closed. “I miss you too, every day, all the time. I love you even more now, after –I love you even more. It is what it is –you, me; and you and me, we’re always, Ror. It might take us a while to find our normalcy, but we will find it. We know that our ‘happily ever after’ won’t come as soon as you move here after the campaign; it probably won’t even happen the instant I’m done school –it’ll take time. But one step at a time, it’ll all fall into place.”

“I know. I just worry…”

“Well don’t. Listen, when you’re here in a few weeks, I have a plan, but you’ll need to drive,” Jess said, changing the subject to cheer her up.

“Oh? You do?” Rory asked.

“Yeah. We’ve been together two years, Ror. Do you think the only way I want to mark the occasion is with a silly dirty book? I have a plan; we’re going somewhere special –a place that’s perfect for us.”

“Where?”

“I’m not telling you,” Jess teased. “But I can’t drive yet, so you gotta get us there.”

“How can I, if you won’t tell me where we’re going?”

“I can give you directions as you drive.”

“Oh come on!” Rory pleaded, starting to smile. “Don’t I get a hint?”

“Nope.”

“What do I wear?”

“Whatever you want. I’d vouch for as little as possible, but we are going to be out in public so… clothes are probably a good idea.”

“Seriously Jess!” Rory giggled. “What do I wear?”

“Dressy casual is fine.”

“Hm. That doesn’t tell me anything.”

“I know,” Jess smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dirty Howl is not an actual thing, as far as I know. I made it up.


	42. Chapter 42

“Okay, seriously, you have to tell me why he gave you this,” Lydia said with a laugh, gesturing to Rory’s newly acquired _Howl_. “I’ve been trying to figure it out for weeks, but I can’t. How exactly do you go from reading Tolstoy and the Bronte’s and Austen to some trashy erotic novel? Jess got it for you for your anniversary right? Two years you said?”

Rory nodded. “I even got him the same book.”

“On purpose? You’ve told me he’s as much of a bookworm as you are. In what world do voracious readers such as yourself and your equally nerdy boyfriend suddenly resort to the literary equivalent of Britney Spears, when you so enjoy the true artistry of Nick Drake and Elliott Smith?”

“Firstly, good analogy,” Rory laughed.

“Thank you,” Lydia said proudly. “Now answer. Who marks two years with the love of their life by giving out romance novels?”

“Jess and I, apparently. We just –with me being on this campaign and Jess’ car accident a few months ago, we’ve had enough seriousness recently –”

“How’s he doing, by the way?” Lydia asked.

“Better.”

“That’s good, I’m really glad. So, you’re keeping the mood light, huh?”

“Yeah, but it’s actually the perfect inside joke,” Rory smiled, halting her packing to curl up on the bed next to Lydia.

“Do tell,” Lydia said.

“Have you read _Howl_ by Allen Ginsberg?”

“Of course.”

“Well, the night I met him, Jess came into my room and stared at my bookshelf. He made a crack about being hooked on phonics and tried to get me to ditch dinner with my mom and his uncle –sneak out the window.”

“Your mom and his uncle are married now, right?”

“Yup.”

“Ha! Boy would I like to be a fly on the wall when they explain that to the kids, or when you and Jess explain it to yours!”

“Yeah, it’ll be laughs-a-plenty, I’m sure,” Rory sighed.

“Sorry,” Lydia said, stopping her laughter. “You were saying?”

“I had no idea, but he’d taken my _Ginsberg Pocket Poet_ –”

“He stole it?”

“Borrowed. He gave it back to me the next day –he left me a bunch of notes in the margins. I was confused because he’d told me he didn’t read much –he just looked at me and said, ‘What is much?’ I said ‘G’night Dodger,’ and told him to figure it out; I started to walk away and he yelled out, ‘ _Oliver Twist_!’”

“And the rest is history?”

“More or less, yeah.”

“Okay, I’m sold. Dirty _Howl_ is the best anniversary present ever. Did you leave each other dirty margin notes?”

“Of course we did,” Rory winked.

* * *

“I still can’t believe you’re not telling me where we’re going,” Rory pouted as she drove.

“You’ll find out when we get there,” Jess smiled. “If you think that pout is gonna make me abandon the surprise, guess again, Gilmore. And you can’t give me any kind of withering stare because you have to keep your eyes on the road.”

“If I didn’t love you so much, I might hate you.”

“For this? Try again, Ror. Even I don’t believe that. You’ll love me plenty when we get there; you’re going to seriously regret even being sarcastic about hating me. Mark my words.”

“New Jersey?! Wherever you’re taking me for our anniversary is in _New Jersey_? Seriously?” Rory asked as they crossed the state line.

“Trust me,” Jess winked.

“If this involves some cheesy Atlantic City boardwalk strolling –”

“You think I’d classify the dress code for strolling along a boardwalk ‘dressy casual’?”

“Better not –I wore heels.”

“Do I at least get some credit for taking you somewhere that necessitated you driving with me on the Walt Whitman bridge?”

“A tiny bit,” Rory relented.

“Geez, tough sell,” Jess laughed. “South on seventy-three for three miles. It’ll be on the left just past mile-marker twenty-one.”

“What will be?”

“Where we’re going.”

“You’re impossible.”

“And you love me.”

Rory followed Jess’ directions and about half an hour after leaving Truncheon, they were pulling into the parking lot of a quaint looking restaurant. “We drove all that way for this?”

“Yup.”

“What’s so special about it?”

“You’ll see,” Jess smiled, “stay.” He got out of the car and walked around to open Rory’s door.

“Such a gentleman,” she giggled.

“Yeah well, just for now. Come on, beautiful. I’ve been waiting for weeks to see the look on your face when we get inside this place.”

When Rory and Jess walked inside, she gasped. Her mouth fell open and her eyes lit up.

Jess stared at her, content to just bask in her glow.

“Welcome to Library Two. Do you have a reservation?” the hostess asked politely.

“Yes,” Jess answered. “For two. Mariano.”

“Right this way.”

“We’re eating dinner at a library?!” Rory whispered excitedly, unable to tear her eyes away from the dark mahogany tables and floor to ceiling shelves packed with books. There were tablecloths and candles on every table; the whole place had the aroma of mouthwatering food mixed with the indescribable smell of the spine of a well-worn book.

“It’s also an award-winning steakhouse,” Jess whispered back as the hostess led them to a quiet corner table at the back of the restaurant.

“I can’t believe we get to eat a fancy meal surrounded by books!”

“Your server will be right with you,” the hostess said, moving to pull out Rory’s chair.

Jess put a gentle hand on her arm to stop her. “I’ve got it,” he said politely, “thank you.”

“Of course, sir. Enjoy your meal.”

“She just called you ‘sir’!” Rory said. “Jess, I can’t believe you did this.”

“I did have three extra weeks to plan… Rory? What’s wrong? Don’t you wanna sit?”

Rory stood there, staring at Jess and as she did, her eyes glazed over with tears. “I love you so much,” she whispered, massaging his scalp gently as though she were tucking his hair behind his ears.

Jess felt his heart skip a beat just like it had the first time she’d told him she loved him. “Can you believe we made it here? Two years…” he said softly.

“Yeah, I can,” she smiled, pulling him close for a kiss. It was one of the first real kisses they’d been able to enjoy since Jess’ accident, so they just let the moment wash over them, wrapping their arms around each other and getting lost, both knowing that they’d never been more in love.

Their waiter appeared about five minutes later, when they were both seated. Secretly, the fact that Library Two was the type of restaurant that required their waiters to wear formal attire just added to the excitement. This wasn’t some guy waiting tables until his acting career took off; he was a _career waiter_. Jess had outdone himself and found a restaurant that combined two of his and Rory’s greatest passions –food and books. The waiter even offered Jess and Rory black linen napkins to replace the white ones at the table –to match their dark attire, of course.

“Can I start you off with something to drink?” the waiter asked politely.

Jess quickly looked at the drinks menu and sighed. “I really shouldn’t be drinking.”

“But Jess, honey that was like four months ago. I’m sure you’re safe to have one if you want –”

“Nah, I still get a lot of headaches. I shouldn’t risk it. I’m fine with just water, thanks,” he said, offering the waiter a small smile.

“And for yourself, miss?” the waiter asked Rory.

“I’m good with water too, thanks,” Rory smiled.

“Ror, if you want to have a drink you totally should. Just because I’m not doesn’t mean you shouldn’t,” Jess told her.

“I’m good Jess, I promise,” Rory assured him. “Besides, I’m driving, remember? And I don’t want to run the risk of doing anything that might impinge upon my enjoyment of what comes later.”

Jess looked at her with a beautiful crooked grin before turning his attention to the waiter. “Two waters, please.”

“Right away. Just to let you know, our special this evening is the bacon wrapped shrimp appetizer and the twelve ounce fillet mignon main, cooked to order and grilled to your exact liking. You can choose between a side of baked potato or rice or salad from our salad bar. If you have any questions, let me know. I’ll give you a few minutes and I’ll be right back with your waters.”

“We _must_ have bacon wrapped shrimp!”

“We can get whatever you want, Ror,” Jess smiled.

Rory couldn’t help but stare at Jess while he read his menu.

“What?”

“Have I told you how sexy you look in those glasses?”

“Really?”

“Really,” she winked. “The hot nerd look _totally_ works for you.”

“Christ, woman, you’re going to be the death of me. Is it time to leave yet?” he teased with a smirk.

“Not yet. I must be fed first,” Rory said, shooting Jess a seductive smile before returning her attention to the menu.

They had both made their decision by the time the waiter returned.

“What can I get you, miss?” the waiter asked Rory first.

“We’re going to share the bacon wrapped shrimp appetizer and I’ll have the twelve ounce fillet mignon special, medium rare, with a baked potato. Can I also get sautéed mushrooms with that?”

“Of course. Excellent choice. And for yourself, sir?”

“I’ll have the twelve ounce New York sirloin, also medium rare and with a baked potato as well. Can I get sautéed mushrooms and onions with that, please?”

“Of course, sir.”

“Prefect,” Jess smiled at the waiter before handing him back the menus and watching him disappear. Raising his water glass to Rory, he all of the sudden felt overwhelmed. His eyes –ever so subtly- had glazed over with tears of joy. But he bit them back before they could fall, “Happy belated anniversary, Rory Gilmore. I love you,”

“To a lifetime of loving you, Jess Mariano,” Rory said softly, smiling joyfully and letting a few tears escape her eyes as she and Jess clinked their water glasses together delicately.

“So when does Lydia get here?” Jess asked as they ate.

“Tomorrow. Oh my God, this food is fantastic,” Rory answered.

“Should we start plotting?”

“Plotting what?”

“Introducing the Canadian lovebirds –who don’t yet know that they’re lovebirds.”

“Have Daniel come to Truncheon tomorrow night. Can we all go out or something? We’ll be making a quick exit after the Constitution Address the day after.”

“Sure. You do realize if these two fall in love, they’ll be so cutesy it’ll make us sick, right?” Jess laughed.

“Ha! Probably,” Rory agreed.

“We were never… sickeningly cutesy, were we?”

“No. Decidedly not. Even when we were totally blissed out, we were never –”

“I didn’t think so –”

“Although nowadays we might be more –”

“Maybe. Can we –can we promise never to be like, vomit-in-your-mouth cutesy?”

“Must you use the word ‘vomit’ while we’re having a nice dinner, Jess?”

“As if that’s killing your appetite… you don’t fool me Gilmore.”

At this, Rory smiled. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“And I promise… never too cutesy, _ever.”_

“Thank God,” Jess sighed.

They shared a giant piece of chocolate fudge cake for dessert and enjoyed a quiet car ride back to Truncheon, Jess holding one of Rory’s hands for most of the way.

“So, what now?” Rory whispered, standing in Jess’ darkened apartment when they’d returned from dinner.

"I have a few ideas,” Jess smirked, wrapping his arms around her waist and starting to shower kisses all over her neck. “But first… was it worth the trip to New Jersey?”

“Most definitely.”

“I’m glad. I love you, Rory. I’ve never –I never thought I’d love anyone, or that anyone would love me the way you –but I _really_ love you. This whole thing –you being away and my accident, it’s been hard and I’m still so sorry I fucked up –”

“Jess,” Rory moved to hold his face in her hands. His nose and the bruising had healed nicely a few weeks after his accident, but Rory was gone so much that, aside from Christmas, they hadn’t had a chance to be intimate –not really anyway. She was relishing every kiss, every gentle touch they exchanged. This –what they were about to do- was a big deal; what little intimacy they could enjoy up until now didn’t include sex –they couldn’t, not until the side-effects of Jess’ concussion had essentially disappeared. “Please, that was months ago. I know you’re sorry. I know you are, I know,” she said gently, “but now it’s about learning from it moving forward. You don’t have to apologize anymore.”

Jess sighed. “All this stuff that’s happened in the last few months –it’s more than enough to tear people apart. But Rory, it’s made me realize just _how much_ I love you. I know we have another eight months of this ahead of us and it won’t be easy –we’re bound to hit another few roadblocks and fights along the way- but if it’s possible, I love you more than before you left. We will make it through this. I can feel it. I’m so in love with you, Ror.”

“I know the feeling,” Rory said quietly. “Everything we’ve been through since last May, I’m more in love with you than –”

“You’re everything to me, did you know that?”

Rory nodded bashfully.

“Okay, I think we’ve reached our quota on cutesy for the evening,” Jess smiled. “Can we start getting naked now?”

Rory giggled and nodded and Jess caught her lips as her head was in the motion of tilting back up –and he didn’t let her go. He was gentle but persistent and it didn’t take Rory long to acquiesce. Their mouths opened they started breathing together, eagerly sweeping their tongues along each other’s teeth and allowing them to get tangled together as they tightened their grip on each other.

Soon, Rory was blindly fumbling with the buttons on Jess’ shirt and fiddling with his belt as Jess deftly stripped Rory of her blouse and her skirt. She stepped out of it lightly before continuing her loving assault of Jess’ lips, both of them giggling into each other’s mouths as they continued to undress each other. As more skin became exposed, their kisses started to wander down chests, across shoulders and everywhere else.

Both Jess and Rory knew that taking the physical act slow was the safest way to go about it, giving them more time to enjoy the intimacy they’d so sorely lacked since November. Each kiss was accompanied by a throaty moan or a keening whimper, which served to add to the heightened need that they both felt. The slow burn that was already starting to spread came out in every sound they made. It wasn’t just that their sounds were erotic and needy, but they were also incredibly loving –each whimper and sigh from Rory at Jess’ touch, his tongue, his hands and every moan and groan and sigh that escaped Jess’ lips as Rory kissed him, stroked him and held him close- they were all sounds of pure love. It was the very loving nature of these sounds that made them erotic.

They’d had to do without this physical aspect of their need for each other because they had to, so Jess could heal. Now, being able to come back together –in the literal sense- caused them both to feel a kind of euphoria that is only felt when one is finally able to become whole again.

Everything they’d said to each other was true –as hard as Rory’s being away on the campaign was on their relationship and as scary as Jess’ car accident had been, they really did love each other so much more, after facing such hardships and being able to come out the other side together and stronger.

Even though they were still in the early phases of their lovemaking –staccato breaths, teasing kisses and eager touches- Rory and Jess knew that things had changed a great deal since the last time they were able to be this intimate. They both understood that something about the sex they would have tonight would be probably be emotionally impactful in ways that their previous sex hadn’t been.

They undressed each other completely, never once touching an article of their own clothing. Though they were both eager, nothing was done in a rush –it was slow and anticipatory, so that by the time they laid down with their bodies pressed together, both were ready to snap in the best possible way.

Jess kissed Rory’s mouth reverently, satisfied even in their nakedness to pay attention to her lips and little else. He was more than ready for this, he knew –he felt more wound up in anticipation of this than he had when they’d hit a rough patch the first summer they were together. There was a world of difference between waiting for something until it’s the right time and missing something you were all but certain you had lost. All of these things and more were running through Jess’ head as he rocked his hips forward and Rory whimpered into his mouth and opened herself up for him in response.

Jess’ body though, suddenly had other ideas; out of nowhere, his erection was gone. At first he ignored it, grinding his hips forward even harder. Rory obliged and eagerly bucked of the bed to meet him, but the thing they’d both wanted most was spiraling towards the exact thing that every man dreads.

Jess broke away from Rory’s mouth and let out a heavy sigh; he screwed his eyes shut tightly and refused to look at her, remaining frozen, hovering above her waiting –hoping it would pass. “Sh-sh-shit!” he cursed quietly.

“Jess,” Rory whispered. “It’s okay.”

“No it f-f-f-fucking isn’t. Christ.”

“Hey, will you look at me?” When Jess refused to meet her eyes, she reached up and gently stroked his bearded cheek. “Please?”

Slowly, he obliged. The room was dark, but Rory could see a deep blush of shame in his cheeks and she felt his arms start to tremble with the strain of holding himself in position on top of her. “Hi,” she said softly.

“Hi,” Jess swallowed hard. “Ror, this –this –this doesn’t happen. I mean this has never happened to me…”

“Jess, you were in a car accident four months ago. You got a concussion.”

“I know, I was there. Thanks for the trip down memory lane,” Jess snapped.

“Hey! I only meant –”

“Oh Jesus, I’m sorry Ror. I know you didn’t mean –”

“I was just going to say –I mean it seems perfectly logical that a concussion might affect –”

“I know. The doctors told me it might.”

“So, why with the shame? It happens, Jess –and you have a better reason for why it might happen than most do.”

“It’s embarrassing,” Jess said thickly, through clenched teeth.

“Well, yes. But you shouldn’t be _too_ embarrassed. At least we both know it’s not me,” Rory joked, trying to lighten the mood. “Unless it is me –have I gotten hideous or something?”

“No,” Jess let out a tiny laugh. “It’s not you, Rory. You’re gorgeous –if any guy tried to blame you for his lack of arousal, he’s full of shit.”

“Can you please just give yourself a bit of a break? This is normal Jess. It doesn’t make you any less of a man.”

“Well gee, since you put it that way, it makes me feel _so_ much better,” he teased.

“Jess, just relax, okay? We have all night. I’m pretty sure I can come up with a few ways to help you… stand at attention.”

Jess let out a deep belly laugh and his lips danced upward into a beautiful crooked smile. He finally let his arms relax, collapsing against Rory, his full weight pressed against her as his body continued to cover hers.

“Hey,” Rory said softly, running her fingers gently through Jess’ short hair and holding his head against her chest, “I love you, you know that, Mariano? Like seriously, hopelessly in love with you.”

“That makes two of us,” Jess said against her skin.

“You’re hopelessly in love with yourself?” Rory teased with a smile.

“Rory, I mean it.”

“I know, which is why you absolutely should not let this get to you, okay? I hate to break it to you, but this probably won’t be the only time this happens.”

“I’m seriously fragile right now and _that’s_ what you choose to say to me? … I just hope that the next time this happens, I’m _at least_ north of forty.”

“Jess, my point is that it doesn’t matter. It’s okay. It happens.”

Jess sighed again, still mortifyingly embarrassed. But still, he was able to manage a small smile and to Rory, it was the most beautiful smile she’d seen on his face in a good long while.

 “I’m sure there are things I can do that will help you relax –allow your body to do what we both know it’s been aching to do to me for months now,” Rory whispered seductively, leaning up slightly to suck on Jess’ earlobe and kiss her way down his neck. She felt his skin heat up from pleasure and her efforts were rewarded with breathy sighs and needy moans.

Rory shifted the two of them and rolled so that she was straddling him. “Maybe the whole problem is that you’re trying too hard –so why don’t you just lie back and relax and let me do most of the work?”

“Rory,” Jess breathed. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

“Really? Let’s put that to the test then, shall we?”

Rory started slow, showering wet kisses down Jess’ neck and pausing to caress the hollow of his throat with her tongue, just like he so often did with her. Jess eyes drifted closed and his breathing slowed, subtle moans escaping his throat, as Rory continued to slowly worship him with her lips. Rory noticed that he was relaxing and that his slowed breathing and the sounds escaping his throat were those of ecstasy. Knowing she was able to do this for him –especially to be able to bring him pleasure in the midst of something happening that he felt ashamed of- was a huge turn on. As she kissed her way down his body and as she felt and heard how his body responded to her, the more aroused she became. When she darted her tongue out to run lazy circles around his nipples and pull them softly between her teeth, Jess was all but lost in desire.

“Oh, Rory,” he whispered. “Just like that.”

Rory looked up briefly to see that Jess was biting his lower lip in pleasure. The sight was so fraught with eroticism and love that Rory could barely contain her emotions. After a few seconds she returned her gaze to his skin and continued to work her way down.

When she reached his length, she started out slowly, now knowing exactly what it needed to become hard –this was after all a very different circumstance than any other time she’d done this. Rory licked her hand and grasped Jess gently but firmly and began stroking him up and down; when it became clear that she’d found her rhythm, Jess started thrusting his hips upwards ever so slightly. She looked up at him once more to see that his eyes were still closed, he was still biting his lip –subtle moans and groans still escaping his throat all the while.

Rory decided it was time to up the stakes. She took him into her mouth very slowly and found a gentle rhythm to suck down and back up again. She swirled her tongue around his tip but never took him fully in her mouth, letting her hands pump his length up and down so that she could keep her mouth on the most sensitive part of him.

“Jesus Rory,” Jess rasped out; he’d looked up from the pillow to watch her. “That’s the sexiest … you feel. Fuck, you’re amazing, Ror. Amazing. I love you so much sweet girl,” he said breathlessly.

“I think we have liftoff,” Rory said quietly.

“You’d better get up here. I’d hate for it to disappear before we have any fun.”

Rory obliged and crawled up Jess’ body. He caught her lips in a fierce kiss, loving the way he tasted on her. Rory positioned herself carefully between Jess’ legs, hovering mere inches from his tip. They could both feel the heat of each other’s arousal. Slowly, Rory lowered herself down onto him and as she did, she reached between them and guided Jess inside of her. Watching himself disappear within Rory was overwhelmingly erotic for Jess. They both let out a needy groan of pleasure at the feeling of finally being filled by one another after so long.

Jess hands found their way to Rory’s hips and they started to move within each other in long, strong loving thrusts. The slow pace of their lovemaking certainly didn’t make it any less intense. After a few strokes, they found their rhythm and Rory took her hands off Jess’ chest. Seeking out that extra but of loving intimacy, they took both of each other’s hands and laced all ten of their fingers together, using their combined strength to build upon their slow but powerful movements. Eventually they lay their hands flat on the bed, stretching out on either side, Jess’ palms facing upward and then moved their combined grasp above Jess’ head –fingers still intertwined.

They kissed each other silently, Jess taking advantage of his access to Rory’s breasts as she bent forward at the waist, teasing her skin and catching her nipples lightly between his teeth and sucking them into his mouth.

“Ahh! Jess, that feels so good,” Rory panted. “God that feels good. More! Please!”

Jess smiled against her skin and started sucking and nipping on her breasts more firmly, spurred on by the delicious whimpering sounds she made.

Soon they were both looking at each other –eyelids heavy with desire and panting each other’s names as a mantra as they approached the hilt. Just before reaching their peak Jess sat up and released Rory’s hands, wrapping his arms strongly around her back, pressing their bare, sweaty and heaving chests together as tightly as he could. Rory remained straddling him, with each of her legs bent at the knee and resting against his bed on either side of his hips.

“Rory, you feel…” Jess whispered, “Oh Rory! Rory!” He tensed inside her seconds later.

“Jess, oh God! Jess,” Rory cried out, tightening her grip around his neck as she felt herself clench tightly around him.

When the waves of pleasure subsided, they sat like that for a long time and just held each other close, whispering lovingly. They laid down together, wrapped up in each other’s arms, thinking that for all the hardships they’d experienced –both in their distant and recent past, there were in fact surprisingly few things that they _really_ regretted or would do differently if given the chance. If not for all the mistakes, who knows if they would’ve been able to find happiness together now, or ever. Who’s to say they would have stayed in each other’s lives at all?

' _Real_ _love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting.’  
_

* * *

Lydia arrived the next night. Instantly, Jess liked her –she was sweet, funny and sharp. He gave her a quick tour of Truncheon while they waited for Daniel to arrive; she was speechless.

“Jess,” Lydia said, “if you ever find yourself in Ottawa, you _must_ go to Octopus Books. It’s a tiny independent place, but they have a really cool philosophy, they’re all about social justice and equality. You’ll _love_ it.”

Jess smiled. “Social justice and books? What could be better? I have no idea why or even if I’d ever find myself in Ottawa, but if I’m ever there, I will definitely check it out.”

“Well, you never know, right? I have one of their cards… here,” Lydia grinned, fishing a card out of her purse and handing it to Jess.

“It sounds like a great place. Thanks.”

Just then, Daniel walked in. “Jess? Rory? Hey! Good to see you!” he said, giving Rory a big hug and then giving Jess a friendly whack on the shoulder.

“Daniel, I want you to meet someone,” Rory smiled. She went across the room and got Lydia’s attention. “This is my friend Lydia. She’s reporting on the campaign for a publication like Hugo’s and we’ve been rooming together on the road for months. Lydia, this is Daniel –Jess met him at Temple, they’re both studying English Lit together. And hey, guess what? You’re both Canadian, even from the same city! How cool is that?”

Daniel was instantly taken with the lovely young woman standing in front of him. When they shook hands, there was a spark. “You’re from Ottawa?” Daniel smiled. “How did you find yourself here?”

Lydia spoke easily, as if she’d known Daniel for years. “My mom’s Canadian, from Ottawa, which is where I grew up mostly and my dad’s American, from Chicago. I have dual citizenship. I went to university here in the States –NYU for English and Journalism and then I got a job right out of school following Obama’s campaign. It’s like a dream, I can’t believe it –it’s been great,” she smiled warmly. “What about you? Why Temple?”

Daniel shrugged. “Change of scenery mostly. Plus I liked the look of Temple’s English program, that’s what really drew me in. But all that math in the beginning –there was a lot of math, still is- certainly made me question my life choices a bit.”

“My God, don’t they understand that the reason people study English is to avoid math?!”

At this, everyone laughed. Daniel and Lydia were so caught up in the moment, they failed to notice that they hadn’t let go of each other’s hands.

“My God, they’re adorable. What have we done, Gilmore?” Jess whispered with a laugh.

“Oh stop. It’s cute,” Rory replied.

“Sure it is –now. Remember the vomit?”

She gave him a playful nudge. “Stop!”

“Whatever, the way I look at it, I’m set for life.”

“What do you mean?”

“Generally speaking, I don’t like people. I’ve gotten better over the years, but I’m still a curmudgeon, make no mistake about it. Daniel’s the first person to crack his way into my inner circle in _years_ and I liked Lydia the second I met her, which is just plain weird. That never happens. So, between Daniel and Lydia, I’m set –I have no need to make anymore new friends for as long as I live,” Jess explained quietly.

Rory laughed and leaned into him. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Hey,” Jess whispered, “I love you, Rory. Last night was –I mean I –”

“Last night was perfect. I love you too, Jess.”

“Alright, should we show the representatives from Canada how to have a good night out in the city of brotherly love?”

“Yes, let’s.”

“I almost hate to burst their rose coloured bubble….”

“No you don’t,” Rory teased.  
  
“You’re right,” Jess winked, “I don’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Octopus Books is an actual bookstore in Ottawa! As is the restaurant where Jess and Rory had dinner, and yes, to get there from Philly you do drive over the Walk Whitman bridge!


	43. Chapter 43

“Senator Obama is mobilizing the nation in ways we have not seen since the Kennedy era.”

Jess was sitting in his Introduction to Political Science class, listening to his professor give yet another impassioned lecture about the impact of Obama that he was tuning in and out of; it wasn’t that he wasn’t interested or that his professor didn’t have a point –he was, and she did- but because Rory was working on this very same campaign, he paid more attention to her articles and emails than he did to his class when it came to this particular topic.

“Dude! Snap out of it!” Daniel whispered sharply from beside him. “If you’re not careful, you’re gonna fall asleep, and then there’ll be drool and your cover’s blown.”

“Sorry,” Jess whispered back. “Did I miss anything?”

“No, not really. ‘Not since the Kennedy era,’ blah, blah, blah. Same stuff we read all the time in Rory and Lydia’s articles.”

Jess smirked. It was mid-April –Daniel and Lydia met a little over a month ago and Rory and Jess’ instincts proved correct –they were hitting it off big time. Truthfully, he was a little jealous –sure, starting out a relationship and trying to get to know someone through long-distance was a challenge he did not envy, but what he did envy was the fact that Lydia and Daniel were starting out more than halfway through the game. If his gut was right and their Canadian friends were destined to become the cutest, most polite couple in history, Daniel and Lydia only had to deal with six or seven months of distance, in comparison to the almost full year that he and Rory had weathered over the course of Obama’s campaign. That part made him a little jealous.

“Obama’s ability to speak to the issues that divide our nation are evident not only in how he speaks about the actual issues themselves, but the affect his presence in this campaign has to make those issues matter to members of the American public who have a long history of segregation, apathy, or both. We see this in his ability to connect with racial minorities –African Americans, but also Hispanics, Mexicans as well as many others- his ability to speak to the liberal left and the religious right and perhaps most impressively, the way that he connects to the youth of this nation.

“People who have been notoriously apathetic are now starting to care deeply about political issues. This is obvious not only in how the Senator is conducting himself and his campaign, but it is also hugely evident in how his campaign is reported in the news –and who’s doing the reporting…”

Jess’ ears perked up involuntarily when the focus of the lecture shifted from just being about Obama’s campaign to how his campaign was being reported.

“You’ll notice that on your syllabus for this week it just says ‘ _TBD: Various readings on Obama’s path to the presidency,’_ and the reason for that is that I hadn’t yet decided what readings I was going to assign. I would like to apologize to all of you who thought that _to be determined_ was somehow synonymous with _no homework_. Sorry guys –you do indeed have readings this week. If you go onto the Temple student portal for our class, you’ll see two links; the articles I want you to read for next week are written by a young reporter by the name of Rory Gilmore –”

At the mention of Rory’s name, Jess broke out into a wide smile, beaming proudly and laughing quietly to himself.

Daniel leaned over and punched his arm. “No kidding!” he whispered softly.

“She graduated from Yale last spring,” their professor continued, “which makes her only three or four years older than the average person in this class. When you read her articles –one covering Obama’s remarks in New Orleans in the wake of hurricane Katrina, criticizing the Bush administration’s response to the situation and another discussing the Senator’s ability to unify voters on both the left and the right side of the isle- I want you to read critically, keeping in mind the type of coverage we’ve seen from other reporters and news outlets.  Come to class prepared to discuss and debate Ms. Gilmore’s ability to be the public voice for the generation that Obama’s campaign seems to connect directly to. Is she shedding light on Obama’s campaign in a way that you can identify with? Is she indeed the reporter who can provide a voice for your generation? Do you agree with her understanding and views on Obama’s message?

“Remember, this is the last major assignment before your exam; I know we’re nearing the end of term but that doesn’t mean you can mentally check out, okay? I’m still running a tight ship and I still expect you to keep up. And yes –there _will_ be a question regarding Ms. Gilmore’s articles on the exam. All right, that’s all. See you next week.”

Jess practically ran home. “Hey guys,” he said, bursting into Truncheon gasping for breath. “I need to show you something.”

“Are you okay, Jess?” Matt asked.

“Yeah.”  
             
“You’re not smoking again, are you?” Chris eyed him suspiciously.

“No!”

“Jess, are you sure –” Andrew started.

“Oh, Christ, you guys. I’m fine,” Jess huffed. “Joe, you wanna chime in here too?”

Joe raised his hands innocently. “No, sir,” he smiled.

“Good. If you’re all done –done with … whatever that whole thing was, can one of you shove over and let me show you something on the computer?”

Matt got up out of his chair and gestured for Jess to take a seat. Jess tapped and clicked away until he’d logged on to his Temple student portal page and pulled up his updated Political Science syllabus.

“What’s the big deal with –I mean why are you logging onto that down here?” Andrew asked.

“Yeah, why do we all need to see –” Joe started saying.  
             
Matt was the first one to notice. “Holy shit! Are those Rory’s articles?”

“Yup,” Jess said, smiling proudly.

“In your syllabus?! Your prof assigned them to the whole class?” Chris asked excitedly.

“Yup,” Jess confirmed again. “See? Why must you always assume the worst of me? Life is good! I have a loving girlfriend who’s getting recognition for her work; I’ve befriended a Canadian and as much as I hate to admit it, he might be making me nicer. I am so much more than the Grinch Who Works At Truncheon. Why can’t you see past all my angst? This really hurts, you guys,” he said sarcastically. “Log off when you’re done gawking. I’m gonna go call Rory.”

“Congratulate her for us!” Matt said as Jess sprinted out of the room.

“I will,” Jess said as he disappeared up the stairs.

“Hey,” Rory said with a smile in her voice when she picked up the phone.

“I love you, Ror,” Jess said adoringly.

“I love you too, Jess. Is everything okay?”

He couldn’t help but laugh. “Can’t a man love his girlfriend and want to call her to tell her so?”

“Yeah, of course,” she giggled. “So, how are you? What’s up?”

“You made my syllabus!”

“I made your –I’m sorry, I what?”

“My poly-sci syllabus! Your articles are in my syllabus, Rory!”

“Oh my God,” Rory said, suddenly out of breath. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah! You even have discussion questions,” Jess laughed.

“I have _discussion questions_? Devoted to me? _No way!_ ”

“Are you really going to make me say –fine, _yes way!_ ”

“What are they?” Rory asked excitedly.

“I can’t remember every one, but they’re online in my student portal. I’ll text you the code and you can look at them, that way you can see what articles we’re reading too. I do remember that she wants us to discuss whether you are ‘indeed the reporter who can provide a voice for your generation’. There’s even going to be at least one question about your articles on the final.”

“Oh my God. This is unbelievable.”

“Of course it’s believable. You’re brilliant, Ror,” Jess said, still smiling. “Okay, you have to go, right?”

“Yeah, I do. But, oh my God, Jess!”

“I love you, go be brilliant. We’ll talk later.”

“I love you too Dodger,” Rory said, holding back tears.

* * *

“How’s my favourite reporter doing these days?” Hugo asked over the phone at the beginning of May.

Rory smiled. “I’m good, Hugo. Life is pretty hectic, but I’m loving it.”

“It shows. You just keep getting better, Gilmore. Traffic on the site is way up –there’s even been a few major spikes on stories you wrote _months_ ago. Whatever you’re doing, keep it up.”

“Oh yeah! I meant to tell you! A couple of my articles managed to find their way into the syllabus in Jess’ poly-sci class at Temple, his prof assigned them as readings. That might explain a few of the spikes.”

“Really? Quite the coo for you, kid. That’s fantastic. Hey, listen, there’s actually a reason for my call. Do you have a valid passport?”

“Of course. Why?”

“Obama’s camp is in the midst of ironing out a world-wind of international dates at the end of July –Jordan, Israel, Berlin and Paris from the twenty-second to the twenty-fifth.”

“That’s –wow.”

“Yeah I know. You’re my best, Gilmore. I need you there covering those events. They’ll be huge for Obama’s campaign and it’ll be huge for us, the-little-news-site-that-could. You up for it?”

“Absolutely,” Rory said without hesitation.

“Good. I’ll start working on your flights and accommodations now,” Hugo said with a smile. “I’ll talk to Lydia’s boss, we’ll do our best to keep you two together over there. He should be calling her now. Ideally, you’ll be flying from Lafayette Indiana to Jordan on the twenty-first –the middle details come later- and then you’d be flying in from Paris to Chicago on the twenty-sixth, the day before the Unity Convention.”

“Sounds good.”

“Don’t sound so nervous, you’ll be great! Okay, I gotta go start putting this together. Talk soon, Rory.”

Hanging up the phone with a heavy sigh, Rory stared off into space for a few minutes. She was jolted out of her daze when she heard Lydia enter the hotel room.

“Rory, did you just get a call about –” Lydia started to ask, sounding slightly dazed herself.

“Yup.”

“I mean it’s amazing, but –wow.”

“Oh, I already got to amazing-but-wow, now I’ve moved onto –”

“Nerves that make you feel like you might barf?”

“Pretty much. I’m so glad we have each other,” Rory sighed, resting her head on Lydia’s shoulder once she sat down on the bed.

“Me too,” Lydia agreed, leaning into Rory.

“Okay, I should phone Jess and tell him.”

“I should phone Daniel.”

“Are you guys even –like, at the stage where you do that?” Rory asked carefully.

“Under normal circumstances, no. But these aren’t normal circumstances.”

“Touché.”

“Besides which, if we keep going the way we are, even with having to get to know each other despite the distance, by July we’ll definitely be –there. Wherever ‘there’ is.”

Rory smiled at her friend. “You really like him, huh?”

“Yeah I do. He feels it too. This is like, the weirdest way to start a relationship and it is way far from ideal, but whatever we feel –it’s strong enough that we can’t let that stop us,” Lydia explained bashfully.

“That’s great, Lydia, I’m really happy for you –both of you.”

“Thanks. I owe you and Jess one, for sure.”

“No you don’t,” Rory grinned. “Good luck talking to Daniel …. Eh?”

Lydia laughed. “Thanks. I’ll slip into the bathroom so you can, and I can –yeah.”

Rory waited about five minutes, until she could no longer hear her pulse in her ears. She checked the time and saw that Jess would definitely be done school by now.

“Hey you!” Jess said warmly.

“Hi,” Rory said shakily.

Jess noticed her nerves. “Hi,” he echoed. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. Is this a bad time?”

“No, not at all. Daniel and I are just having coffee. What’s up?”

“Is he on the phone too?”

“Yeah, someone just called him…”

“Lydia, Lydia called him.”

“Ror,” Jess said slowly, “is something going on?”

“Yeah, but it’s nothing bad,” Rory assured him. “I promise. Lydia’s phone call is harder than this one. Maybe… step out for a sec? Give Daniel some space.”

“Sure,” Jess gestured to Daniel that he was stepping outside. “Rory, what is it?”

“Hugo called me just now; Lydia got the same call from her boss. Obama’s doing some international dates at the end of July…”  
             
“No kidding! Where?”

“Jordan, Israel, Germany and Paris.”

Jess swallowed hard.

“Please say something,” Rory said quietly.

“Rory –that hesitation just there? It has nothing to do with me being upset, or not wanting you to go. I think it’s amazing that you get to cover this –I do. It’s just… Jordan and Israel aren’t exactly the most stable places, that’s all.”  
             
“I know, but the whole trip –all four counties, we’ll be in and out and back on American soil in six days. It’s not like we’re going to be spending any time there, or being anywhere other than at Obama’s meetings and speeches.”

“That does make me feel a bit better,” Jess sighed and allowed himself to smile. “It really is amazing Rory, I’m really happy for you.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really, silly girl. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks.”

“I love you, Rory.”

“I love you too. Okay, I should go –call Mom and Luke.”

“Good luck with _that_ ,” Jess chuckled. “Talk to you later tonight?”

Rory smiled. “Hey, I’m still waiting to hear about the twins’ first birthday. I still can’t believe I missed it!”

“You have a pretty good reason,” Jess laughed. “Didn’t Lane tell you all about it? And send you pictures?”

“Of course she did, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear it from _you._ Is it really true they’ve started calling you Mess?”

“Yes. I didn’t think the J sound would throw them for a loop, but evidently. I am Mess,” Jess chuckled.

“Oh my God!” Rory cackled.

“I’ll tell you all about it tonight, I promise –but only if you stop stalling. Call your mom!”

“Fine,” Rory sighed. “Love you.”

“Good. Love you too. Bye, Ror.”

* * *

“God, your international trip is coming up fast, huh?” Lorelai said to Rory as they chatted on the phone in mid-June.

“I know, crazy. Hey, I’m sorry I missed another wedding anniversary for you and Luke,” Rory sighed.

“Oh that’s okay. We have them every year, you’ll be around for the next one.”

“So, give me all the Stars Hollow news!”

“Uh, well. Things are pretty much the same. Let me see… Oh! Kirk made another movie!”

Rory gasped and made a face. “Really?”

“Yeah. _Kirk In Technicolour_ ,” Lorelai laughed.

“Wow –is it –”

“ _Kirk In Technicolour_ is, as you might have guessed, actually in technicolour. I don’t quite know why, because we deal with actual living, breathing Kirk all the time, but technicolour-film-Kirk is way more disturbing than black-and-white-film-Kirk.”

“Normally your mom is absolutely ridiculous and I have no idea what she’s talking about but she’s actually right about this Rory. It’s profoundly disturbing, you don’t wanna see it,” Luke said loudly from over Lorelai’s shoulder.

“Hi Luke! I miss you!” Rory shouted.

“Miss you too!”

“Hey, so how’s Jess, with you suddenly being a globe-trotter?” Lorelai asked.

“He’s fine. He’s excited and proud, he’s not crazy about me being in the Middle East, though.”

“Smart man.”

"I’ll be fine, Mom.”

“I know, but I’m still your mom. I worry. It’s what moms do. And Luke, too. I’m actually having to calm _him_ down.”

“Really?”

“He really loves you, kid. Like his own.”

“I know. I miss you guys so much,” Rory said a little sadly.

“We all miss you too, Rory.”

“I’m even missing Friday night dinners.”

“Believe me, as the Gilmore girl who still goes to those, you haven’t missed any extraordinary hijinks,” Lorelai assured her.

“I know, it’s just I was talking to Grandma and Grandpa yesterday and they sounded sad,”

“Well, they miss you, Hun.”

“Okay, let me rephrase that: _Grandma_ sounded sad.”

“That, I grant you, is concerning. Hey, change of subject but next time you’re here, you should bring Lydia. I want to meet the little Canadian who stole the heart of my favourite Chip & Dale guy.”

“Deal, but only if you promise to tell her that you call Daniel the Chip & Dale guy,” Rory laughed.

* * *

_Made it to San Diego safely. I’m waiting in line at a very trendy coffee place that I found. This is what happens when Lydia naps and I explore. Are you good to call me late?_

_Did you not get the memo? It’s July thirteenth and you’re in California. How late?_

_Shut up. I’m getting iced coffee. Eleven your time? It has to be after the La Raza thing is over and we wrap up._

_Sure. Can’t talk for more than an hour though, I have school tomorrow._

_Poor Dodger._

_Whatever. This time summer school’s a choice. Go enjoy your coffee. Say hi to Lydia for me. I’ll call you later. Love you, Ror._

Rory smiled at Jess’ last message and savoured it by reading it over at least three times before she made any motion to put her phone away. In her distraction, she’d shifted her weight and stepped out of the lineup –and onto someone’s foot. “Oh geez, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying atten–”

“Ace?”

“Lo –Logan! Hi!” Rory said awkwardly, tripping over her own feet.

“Careful there, Ace,” Logan chuckled, reaching out to steady her with his free hand. “Can’t have you falling and injuring that pretty little head of yours. What would Hugo Gray do if your sparkling wit were tarnished because I made you fall over?”

“You’ve been reading –?”

“Yeah. You’re great Rory, really.”

“Thank you. And for putting Hugo in touch with –really, _thank you_ ,” Rory said emphatically.

“You’re welcome. It was my pleasure, really. It’s the least I could do, after –plus, you made the great Mitchum Huntzberger apologize for being and I quote, a ‘selfish, narcissistic ass,’” Logan laughed.

“Oh, boy, well that’s…” Rory sighed. “What are you doing here?”

“I live in Palo Alto now. I’m here in San Diego for a business meeting tomorrow. My fiancé and I thought we’d make a little mini-trip out of it.”

“Fiancé?”

“Yeah, she’s waiting for me in the car. She sent me in to cure her coffee fix,” Logan took a deep breath. “You look well, Rory. You look happy.”

“I am,” Rory said, finally letting herself relax. “It’s good to see you, Logan. The last time I saw you, I –well, I’m glad I have a better image to replace that one with.”

“I’m glad too, really. Although I hear Finn caused some problems with a –Dodger? He’s still trying to figure that one out.”

“Oh, that’s not –I mean, it was fine –it turned out fine.”

“Good. Are you happy with him? Whoever Dodger is, is he part of the reason you’re so happy?”

“Yeah. I really love him.”

“Tell him not to mess up the best thing that’ll ever happen to him,” Logan smiled softly.

“Are you happy too, Logan?” Rory asked. “With your fiancé? I mean –she makes you happy, right?”

“She does.”  
             
“Good,” Rory smiled. “I’m glad.”

“Anyway, I should go. She’s waiting for me.” Logan leaned in to give Rory a quick peck on the cheek. “It’s so good to see you. Take care, Ace.”

* * *

“Okay, that’s the last time I nap when we get to a new city,” Lydia said to Rory as she recounted her entire run-in with Logan as they made their way back to the hotel after the La Raza meeting. “What are the odds of running into an ex like that?”

“You mean literally or just in general?” Rory laughed.

“Both, I guess. Hey, I remember you told me a bit about him. Was it weird, seeing him?”

“A little, yeah –but less than I thought.”

“That’s good at least, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t hate me for asking, but –what did Jess say?”

“Haven’t told him yet. As soon as I got back to the hotel after running into Logan we had to start preparing and then go. I’m talking to him tonight though,” Rory blushed nervously.

“It’ll be fine,” Lydia assured her. “No big deal. That stuff with Logan happened over two years ago. And running into him today was innocent.”

“I know –I know. But still.”

“I know.”

Rory’s phone rang as they were walking into the hotel. “Hey Jess,” Rory sighed. “You have no idea how happy I am that you called.”

“I won’t argue with that,” Jess smiled. “But wasn’t I supposed to? That was the plan, right? I know it’s a little early but I can –”

“No, no. It’s okay, Lydia and I are just walking into the hotel.”

“Are you okay, Ror? You sound –"

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve just had a really weird day. Don’t get me wrong, I love this job –but I’m so tired Jess. And I miss you. Looking at my ring is starting to not cut it. I just want to come home –I just want to be with you. I can’t wait till we can be boring.”

Jess sighed. “I know, Ror. I know. I’m tired too, I –”

Rory stopped short and clutched Lydia’s arm when they walked through the front doors of the hotel. Logan was standing at the check-in desk with a statuesque blonde woman.

Logan looked up at the exact moment that Rory stopped dead in her tracks.

“ACE?! What are the odds?” Logan said with exuberant loudness, breaking into giddy laughter.

Jess closed his eyes in dread. “The only person I’ve _ever_ heard call you Ace is –”

“I –I ran into him this morning. I was going to tell you when we talked tonight. I swear Jess, I had no idea he was staying here too,” Rory said quickly, forcing the words past the lump in her throat.

“Let me guess –part of the reason your day was weird can be traced back to a blond dick with a Porsche, right?” Jess asked, more sharply than he intended.

Lydia quickly put together the pieces and rushed towards Logan.

Rory had no idea what Lydia was going to say to him or how she planned to diffuse the situation given that she was rushing towards a man she’d never met, but she was thankful nonetheless.

This was a random, poorly timed coincidence. Jess trusted Rory and Logan was ancient history. He took a deep breath, though it did nothing to calm his rage, which all the rationality in the world couldn’t quell. His only remaining question came out through clenched teeth: “Is he still obsessed with length?”


	44. Chapter 44

“What’s he doing there, Rory?” Jess asked slowly, pinching the bridge of his nose. He wasn’t mad at _her_ and he was trying desperately not to sound as though he was.

“Honestly, Jess –I don’t know what he’s doing _here_ , in this hotel,” Rory told him, trying not to cry.

“You said you saw him this morning?”

“Yeah…”

“Well then, let’s talk about _that_. Tell me about the happy coincidence.”

“Jess –I wasn’t keeping this from you. I mean I wasn’t going to –”

“I never said you were.”

Rory sighed. “I ran into him right after we finished texting this morning. Literally. I was reading your message over and over and I wasn’t paying attention –I stepped out of the lineup and onto his foot. I almost fell over –he had to catch me,” she explained as she stepped into her hotel room, immediately regretting her inclusion of that last detail.

Jess’ stomach twisted in knots as he pictured Logan catching Rory in his arms. His skin crawled just thinking about the fact that Logan was close enough to touch her and catch her when he couldn’t be.  Being apart from Rory was hard enough, but knowing that Logan’s reappearance –random though it may have been- happened at a time when Jess missed her so much that he could barely put one foot in front of the other made it all the more unbearable. “I bet Dick Boy enjoyed that,” he said bitterly.

Jess was not jealous or untrusting in the slightest when it came to Rory –nor had Logan ever threatened him. But right now, in this moment, Jess _hated_ him –he hated him for being in San Diego at the same time as Rory, he hated him for being close enough to touch her, when that was _all_ Jess wanted to do, he hated him for being lucky enough to see Rory twice in a day when he hadn’t seen her for months and right now, Jess even hated Logan for simply existing. “Tell me, did he hold onto you for a little too long, Ror?”

“Of course not,” Rory started crying. “It wasn’t like that Jess. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I really am. Him being here is a fluke –a total fluke. I was going to tell you about it now. He told me this morning he was in town for a business meeting. I had no idea he was going to be here, in this hotel Jess. I don’t want him to be. Please, Jess… I’m sorry.”

Jess sighed heavily. He missed her too much and he didn’t like who he was turning into because of it. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Rory. I’m sorry –turns out I’m not good at not being a jealous prick, apparently.”

“I swear, it wasn’t –he’s engaged, Jess. He told me he’s engaged.”

“I’d say ‘Good for him,’ but then that might be misconstrued as me actually giving a shit. Rory, I’m not mad at you. I do realize that Logan still exists in the world, and I’m not –I never had a problem with him before. I don’t care about him, Ror, I never did. I’ve never not trusted you, either. I’m not this crazy jealous person, I just –I miss you so fucking much. I’m so tired of being apart from you. I hate this.”

“I know, I –”

“Rory, listen to me –I’m not saying I don’t support you. This has nothing to do with that. I meant everything I said when I encouraged you to take this job and I still do. It’s just, that was –”

“Over a year ago.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m tired too, Jess. I miss you so much. I feel it too, I swear I do,” Rory said, still crying.

“Shh, Ror. Please don’t cry. I know you do –I know. We’re almost there, we just have to tough it out a bit longer.”

“But what if we can’t? Not because we don’t love –but because it’s just too hard?”

"Rory,” Jess said gently. “You’re not saying that because you actually believe it. You’re saying that because you miss me just as much as I miss you. If that’s really what you felt –if you believed it –if you believed it, you wouldn’t be in tears asking me that question, you’d just break up with me. Is that what you want?”

“No.”

“Today’s been a shit storm, Rory. You ran into Logan and I turned into a prick about it. Tomorrow’s a new day. We’ll be better tomorrow. I love you as much as I ever have. You’ll be living here before you know it.”

“I know. I love you too, Jess.”

“I’m mad at the whole situation. I’m not mad at you.”

“I know.”

“Take a breath. We’re okay.”

“Jess, can I –” Rory sniffled. “Can I call you back in ten minutes? I need to go splash some water on my face.”

“Blow your nose while you’re at it,” Jess teased. “If you don’t call me back, I’m going to have a serious existential crisis…”

“Jess, I promise. I just want to wash my face,” Rory laughed quietly.

“There’s my favourite sound. Okay. Now you can go.”

Rory dragged herself into the bathroom without turning on the light –the fluorescents were too bright and unforgiving for her at the moment. By the light of the main room, she blew her nose before filling the sink with warm water and dunking her head in. When she left the bathroom, she peeled off her skirt and blouse and crawled under the covers and picked up her phone to dial Jess.

“Better?” he asked, picking up on the first ring.

“Yeah,” she smiled, “much.”

Jess let out a sigh of relief when he heard the smile in her voice. “I’m sorry, Rory.”

“Me too. I love you, Jess. I don’t want to be without you. I’m –I’m sorry I said that. I’m just so –”

“Exhausted."

“Yeah. It’s like we’re so close to the finish line but –”

“Not quite close enough to actually see it.”

“Yeah. We need to –I don’t know, Jess, we need to do something to make these last few months bearable.”

“I really agree. My reaction before was fueled partly by –by –do you realize we haven’t seen each other since March?”

“Oh God,” Rory sighed. “I love you far too much for that to be okay…”

“I know… Between being at Temple year-round and my accident, I haven’t been able to come out to you at all. I’m sorry Rory.”

“Oh! Hey! The D.N.C.!”

“What?” Jess asked. “I’m confused.”

“The Democratic National Convention –when Obama finds out if he’s the nominee. It’s in Denver in like, four and a half weeks. Don’t you have a little time off then between the end of summer session and the start of the fall term? Why don’t you meet me in Denver for a few days?” Rory asked excitedly.

“Oh my God, I think that will actually work. Wait –we don’t have to share a room with Lydia do we? I mean, no offense to her, but…” Jess chuckled.

“Check with Daniel, see if he wants to make the trip with you.”

“That’s actually not a bad idea!”

“See? Perfect!”

Jess suddenly felt uneasy and sighed heavily into the receiver.

“Jess? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“I’m about as far from convinced as possible. Try again,” Rory said gently.

“Ror, what if I can’t –I mean last time, I couldn’t, until you –I can’t –that can’t happen again,” Jess stammered, embarrassed.

“Oh, that.”

“Yes, that.”

“Well, if you’re really worried –I mean, have you –have you checked?”

“Checked?”

“Yeah. Like, made sure it can get, you know –up and running?”

“You mean, like have I talked to my doctor about it?”

“No, Jess. Have _you_ checked? Tested it… yourself?”

Jess burst out laughing, but didn’t answer.

“I’m serious!” Rory giggled.

Jess just laughed harder. “Are we really talking about this?”

“Yes, it appears we are.”

“My, isn’t this the day of extremes.”

“You’re avoiding the answer! Why are you avoiding the answer? Do you really expect me to believe that you don’t already do that? I know you already do that. All I’m wondering is if you’ve done it since…”

“Rory!”

“What? I do it. The campaign trail is lonely Jess.”

“Now see this, I can stand to hear more of. I might regret asking this, but do you have –toys?”

“Oh sure, now you’re chatty…”

“And now you’re the one who’s avoiding –”

“No,” Rory said simply. “None.”

“None? Really?”

“Don’t need them. I have you… and a very good imagination.”

Jess couldn’t help but be proud at hearing this. “I _so_ love you.”

“I _so_ love you too. You still haven’t answered my question.”

“No, I haven’t since –”

“Okay. Because you’re nervous? You shouldn’t be nervous –especially not now, when I’m telling you to go ahead and –”

“I’m not too nervous. I just haven’t. I don’t know why. Not just since when we –but not even since the accident.”

“Is it because you’re not –aroused? Like, you don’t want to?”

“If I didn’t want to, or if literal arousal was the only problem, do you think your little treat after dinner would have been effective?” Jess asked teasingly. “It’s not because I don’t want to, Ror. _Wanting to_ isn’t the problem. It’s just –with you gone, I don’t necessarily think about it much, until I wanted to last time and we were in the middle of –since the accident, I’ve been kinda preoccupied.”

“Fair enough. But, just… try maybe? See what happens. I mean, it might make you less worried about what’ll happen in Denver if you –”

Jess laughed. “Rory, you are the best girlfriend ever.”

“Thanks. I try,” Rory smiled.

“I’ll try too –before Denver I mean.”

“Good. Jess, I have to go. I’m _really_ tired, I still feel off and I need to save Lydia.”

“Save Lydia?”

“She diverted Logan’s attention in the lobby after I picked up your call so that I could slip away. I think she’s still down there.”

“Good God. Find her, Rory –find her fast. Tell her she’s getting a medal from me next time I see her.”

“I will,” Rory giggled. “I love you Jess. So much.”

“I love you too, Ror. Sleep well, sweet girl. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Rory was about to text Lydia when she suddenly had an idea. Getting out of bed, she rummaged in her suitcase –a woman on a mission until she found what she was looking for: The very same black lace push-up bra and satin panties she was wearing the first time she and Jess had sex. Smiling to herself, she pulled a Fed-Ex envelope out of her purse –she was in the habit of carrying at least one with her at all times, never knowing when she might need it- stuck the lingerie inside and addressed it quickly.

_Oh, dear sweet Canadian! Are you alive? You’re a SAINT. Jess and I worked everything out. Please come back! Ps: Text me right away, or I’m going to assume the worst._

_Alive and well. On my way up._

“Oh my God, Lydia, I’m so sorry!” Rory said when her friend came in.

“Why are you sorry? I’m the one who rushed into the lion’s den. So you and Jess are okay? Was it bad?” Lydia replied.

“It was the situation more than him reacting to me.”

“Ah yes. You guys have been at this for a while, and you were a commuter couple before the campaign even. I don’t envy you there. Nerves are bound to get frazzled. Not to fret –I made Logan buy me a drink.”

“You did?”

“Yes I did. I told him I was a friend of yours and you had a situation to deal with and you sent me over to make sure he knew you weren’t being rude,” Lydia explained. “Then his fiancé started talking and I realized the only way I could listen to her annoying mousy British accent is if I had alcohol in my system. I usually love British accents –so refined- then I met _Bobbi_.”

“Oh God. Are you serious?”

“Very. Logan’s nice, but kind of a dick –very in love with the sound of his own voice. He and _Bobbi_ deserve each other. And the ring he gave her? Tackiest thing ever –it’s a goddamn skating rink.”

Rory collapsed in a heap of hysterical laughter.

“You’ll be happy to know they’re leaving tomorrow –before us. Right after his ‘business meeting’, which, by the way, I’m convinced he was lying about.”

“Jess told me to tell you that he owes you a medal for diverting Logan’s attention. _Promise me_ you’ll tell him your sparkling opinion of my ex-boyfriend. Exactly the way you told me,” Rory said, winded and having difficulty catching her breath.

“Gladly. Hey, are you okay?” Lydia asked.

“Yeah. Just feeling a bit run-down. I’m sure a good night’s sleep is all I need.”

Lydia noticed the Fed-Ex envelope on the bed. “What’s that?”

“Something for Jess,” Rory blushed.

“Right. Well, I’ll mail it for you in the morning. I’ll bring you breakfast up here. You should get some extra sleep if you’re not feeling well. We have a long day tomorrow.”

* * *

 Lydia woke up unexpectedly in the middle of the night to the sound of Rory stumbling out of the bathroom. “Rory, are you alright?”

“Yeah, just not feeling too well. I’m sorry I woke you. Go back to sleep,” Rory muttered.

In the morning, Lydia got up before the alarm sounded and turned it off so that Rory wouldn’t be disturbed. She dressed quickly and snatched the Fed-Ex envelope off the desk. Tiptoeing over to Rory, Lydia noticed that she was drenched in sweat and tossing and turning frantically. “Not good,” she whispered to herself.

When she got down to the hotel lobby, she called her boss and explained that Rory was very unwell –Lydia didn’t think she was in any condition to travel, much less all the way to Ohio from California. Lydia’s boss said he would call Hugo to explain; Lydia told him to tell Hugo she’d gladly play double agent, writing her own articles and covering Rory’s beat until she was feeling better. Hugo called her back directly and thanked her profusely –he wanted to let Rory fully recover before they had to be in Jordan in just over a week’s time.

After dropping the envelope off at Fed-Ex and getting a tracking slip, Lydia ate breakfast by herself in the hotel’s quiet dining room. She returned to the room just before eight in the morning and saw that Rory did not look any better –she in fact seemed worse. Calling her boss again, she begged to be put on the latest flight out of California that would get her to Ohio in time for the next event.

Lydia couldn’t leave Rory alone. She wasn’t going to feel good about going to Ohio –even though she didn’t have a choice- unless someone was with her. There was only one call she could make.

“Lydia?”  
             
“Hey, Jess.”

“Hey… you never call me.”

“I’m calling you now.”

“What’s going on?”

“Rory’s sick. Really sick. I heard her stumbling out of the bathroom and she was drenched in sweat when I left to have breakfast. I called my boss and he talked to Hugo. I’m going to cover Rory’s articles –Hugo wants her to stay in California until she is two hundred per cent over this thing, with our trip coming up. I have to be in Ohio tonight, but I don’t want to leave her alone –”

“You won’t have to. I’m getting on a plane today. Don’t know how yet, but don’t worry, I’m getting on a plane. I’m already looking at flights.”

“What about your classes? She’s down for the count Jess. You’ll be here a few days, at the very least.”

I don’t know yet, but it doesn’t matter. I’m coming. I’m like, the consummate nerd –I’m pretty sure my profs will do me a solid and let me submit stuff over email.”

“I was going to try and call her mom, but I don’t know her and I don’t have her number.”

“It’s okay, I’ll talk to Lorelai.”

“Good. Thanks.”

“ _Thank you_ , Lydia. How was she doing, last you looked in on her?”

“She’s sleeping now. I don’t think she needs to go to the hospital or anything, but she’s really out of it.”

“Hey, I found a flight but I gotta leave now to make it and email my profs before I go. I’ll call Lorelai from the airport. Can you hang in until I get there to tag you out?”

“Yeah, that works. Text me the flight info. You should be arriving right before I have to leave. We can rendezvous at the airport.”

“Sounds good. I’ll text you right before I take off and the second I land. See you soon, Lydia.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rory IS NOT PREGNANT!


	45. Chapter 45

Jess left Philadelphia on a twelve thirty flight and he landed in San Diego at one thirty, local time. Lydia was due to depart San Diego at two, which would have her arriving in Cincinnati at eight that evening. A car would be waiting for her –she was going to have to make a quick change when she landed and go right from the airport to the NAACP Convention. Rushed though it may be, it did allow for Jess and Lydia to have a brief chance to speak to each other at the airport –something they were both extremely grateful for.

“Rory’s running a fever of one-oh-three, so don’t be surprised if she’s a little delirious and a lot confused. She was asleep when I left and it didn’t just seem like a fever sleep, I think she conked out. Hopefully she’ll still be asleep when you get there. I left her a note just in case she wakes up and gets confused,” Lydia stated very matter-of-factly when she saw Jess.

Jess offered her a tiny grin. “She did that for me once,” he said softly. “Wait, how do you know what her temperature is?”

“My mom’s a nurse –she taught me that I should always have a thermometer on-hand, just in case. I left it on the nightstand for you. If her temperature gets _any_ higher, you should take her to the hospital. I don’t think it will, but if –”

“I will. Lydia I don’t know how to –thank you. You’ve been such a good friend to Rory, but now –now you’re my friend too.”

“Yeah I feel that we’re-all-in-this-together vibe too. Thanks Jess, that means a lot to hear. And you know –you’re not just ‘Rory’s boyfriend’ anymore.”

“I know,” Jess smiled gently. “Well, hey, I shouldn’t keep her waiting long; it’s probably best if she doesn’t wake up before I get there.”

“Will you keep in touch please? Like, to the point of being annoying? I’ll wanna know how she’s doing.” Lydia dug in her purse and handed Jess the hotel key. “Room’s paid up for another three days at least. Hugo says to just play it by ear. He’s willing to let her rest for a full six days and fly her from California to Jordan on the twentieth, if he needs to. He’ll call in a day or two, see how she’s doing and then take it from there.”  

“Of course –and wow, that’s great. Hugo’s really redefining the term _greatest boss ever._ ”

“Oh hey, did you get a hold of her mom?” Lydia asked.

“Yeah. You won’t be the only one wanting me to keep in such close touch it’s annoying,” he chuckled.

“Well, I’m glad you reached her,” she sighed. “There was something Rory wanted me to tell you but for the life of me I can’t… Oh, yeah! I met Logan last night, distracted him so that Rory could slip away and talk to you. Nice guy I guess –but he struck me as a bit of a dick. More in love with himself that that bubbly British chick he’s marrying –”

Jess immediately burst out laughing and pulled Lydia into a tight hug, gently kissing the top of her head. “We are such kindred spirits. I love you Anne Shirley with an –e,” he whispered, still laughing quietly.

“I never thought I would ever be so lucky as to have you as my bosom friend, Diana Barry,” Lydia responded, wrapping her arms around Jess, hugging him in return. Eventually, their laugher subsided and they stepped back. “Go. Get there before she wakes up, so that when she does, all she sees is you. Take care of her, Jess –go be her Gilbert Blythe.”

* * *

When Jess got to the hotel, he crept into Rory’s room quietly, careful to shut the door silently behind him. He was relieved to see that she was still asleep –the note Lydia had left remained on the pillow next to her, untouched. Jess felt a torrent of emotions at the sight of her –on one hand, he was relieved and able to inexplicably breathe a little easier in her presence, but on the other, his heart broke because she was obviously _very_ unwell and he hated to see her suffer.

Stroking away the beaded sweat on her forehead softly with the back of his hand, Jess leaned down and placed his lips against Rory’s skin delicately, letting his kiss linger for the briefest of seconds. She was burning up. Despite being hot to the touch and drenched in perspiration, Rory shook in her sleep –trembling from cold. “Rory, I’m here, it’s okay. You’ll be okay,” Jess whispered, pulling a single sheet up and covering her gently. Her shaking subsided a little.

Letting out a pained sigh, Jess tiptoed into the bathroom and closed the door before turning on the light and calling Lorelai. “Hey,” he said quietly. “I made it. I’m here with her.”

“Oh thank God,” Lorelai sighed. “How is she?”

“She’s asleep right now but she’s got a really high fever –Lydia told me at the airport that it was one-oh-three when she checked. She’s drenched, but shaking. I don’t know much other than what I see –I don’t want to wake her.”

“How’s her colour?”

“It’s dark in there but –she could be related to Casper right now. I can’t believe I –we’ve been together for over two years, Lorelai. I’ve never seen her like this. She’s never been sick.”

“That’s because it’s not a common occurrence. She doesn’t get sick very often, but when she does, this is what it’s like.”

“What do I do?” Jess asked, his voice cracking.

“You’re doing it, mini-Sly. Just be there with her –take care of her. Watch her temperature and if it gets any higher, get her to a doctor. Make sure she eats a little and has lots of fluids; but careful, go easy if she’s sick to her stomach. Help her, keep her company, just love her. Whatever she needs, you’re it. It’ll probably take a few days, but if you don’t notice at least little improvements as the days pass, again –get her to a doctor.”

“Does she have any –I mean –what kinda stuff does she like to have when she’s sick? Creature comfort stuff, I mean. We’re in a hotel room on the other side of the country. I’m all she’s got and I’m cool with that but, if there were things that were like, homey or comforting it might make it –”

Lorelai’s breath hitched.  
  
“Lorelai?”

“Yeah sorry, just –oh Jess, I’m so glad you’re –you. I’m so grateful that you could rearrange everything to be there for –it couldn’t have been easy.”

“It wasn’t –but she needs me, so. I’m sure you’d much rather it could be you.”

“Usually, yeah. But not this time. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be, Jess. And so am I.”

“Thanks.”

“So um, the essential Rory Gilmore care package. She likes tomato soup with Goldfish crackers crumbled up in it. Freezies, especially strawberry and blueberry. When she’s able to eat more solid stuff, scrambled eggs with cheese. Ginger-ale, lots of it. Not the Schweppes crap, Canada Dry if you can find it. English breakfast tea, when she can handle a bit of caffeine. JELL-O. Also, a soft throw-blanket if you can find one for cheap, colourful, so it feels less like a hotel bed and more like her real bed. And lots of TV –any Molly Ringwald movie you can find- the more eighties nostalgia the better, even the bad stuff. The best part about being sick is –”

“Watching a lot of bad TV,” Jess chuckled.

“Exactly. See? Right where you should be,” Lorelai smiled.

“I hear her stirring, I should go. Thanks, I’ll run out and grab all that stuff the next time she drifts off and I can slip out.”

“Good. Hey, do you want me to text the list to your phone?”

“Actually yeah, that’d be great.”

“Jess –”

“I’ll take care of her Lorelai, I promise. I’m here for the duration –I’m not leaving until she can, you have my word. I’ll check in with you lots and so will she –any changes, either way, you’ll know.”

“Thank you, Jess.”

“Of course Lorelai. I’ll check back with you soon.”

Jess held his breath as he crept back into the main room, relieved to see that though she was restless, Rory remained asleep. Padding his way over to the other queen sized bed, Jess stepped out of his shoes and crawled up the mattress, settling on his side with his arm tucked under his head. “I have a reason to watch her sleep now, she’ll forgive me,” he whispered to himself.

Half an hour later, the air vent in the room rattled to life –the air-conditioning set to a timer. As it clicked and hummed loudly, Jess’ gaze drifted to find the source of the offending noise. “Shit,” he muttered, swinging his feet around and sliding down, crouching on the floor between the beds, alert and waiting and silent, hoping against hope that it wouldn’t wake her.

As if on cue, Rory twitched violently and jolted awake with a gasp, eyes wild, weak sounds coming from her throat.

“Shh, Rory,” Jess said quietly.

She either didn’t hear him, or it had no effect because she just whined louder, obviously disoriented –and downright scared- of whatever it was that woke her.

Jess quickly reached for her trembling hand under the blanket, intertwining his warm fingers with her cold, clammy ones and anchoring her as best he could. “It’s just the air-conditioning, Ror. You’re fine. Breathe.”

Rory struggled to see anything in the darkened room –which would normally be easy with daylight creeping through the bottom of the blinds, but for her blurry vision. As if in slow motion, she registered the warm strength holding fast to her hand. Looking at her arm was very little help, being that it disappeared under a sheet, which she had no recollection of being covered by. Her eyes slowly wandered to the side, following the warmth, hoping to find its source.

“Hi,” Jess smiled.

“Jess? Is that you? How –how did you? What are you doing here?”

“Anne of Green Gables called me, she told me you were sick.”

“Lydia? Where is she?”

“She went to Ohio. You’re stuck with me.”

“You’re –you’re really here? If this is a fever dream, it’s not fair,” Rory said weakly.

“No fever dream,” Jess assured her, giving her hand a reassuring but gentle squeeze. “I’m really here. You don’t need to worry about anything –Lydia’s covering your beat with Hugo till you’re better, and I’m not leaving your side until you are.”

“Oh –hi,” she sighed, relaxing slightly and letting her head drop down.

“If I turn off the air-conditioning, do you think you can go back to sleep?”

“Maybe –I think so.”

Jess shifted his weight to go shut off the vent, but Rory held tight to him. “Quite the little vise grip you’ve got there. I’m impressed,” he chuckled. “Ten seconds.”

After dashing to the vent and back, Jess crawled onto Rory’s bed and nestled her gently against him. He moved the damp hair off of her sweat soaked skin and cradled her carefully in his arms, smiling to himself as that seemed to help her shaking subside.

“You’ll get sick,” she protested in a whisper.

“Maybe. But then again, maybe not. Am I hurting you?”

“No.”

“Are you comfortable?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I don’t care. I’m holding you. Deal with it.”

“So stubborn…” Rory muttered, already drifting off.

“Yeah, yeah. Go to sleep, Ror. I’ve got you,” Jess whispered.

Rory stirred against him about forty-five minutes later. Jess had drifted off into a light sleep himself, but as soon as she moved, he snapped right out of it.

“I’m c-c-c-cold,” Rory stammered, through chattering teeth.

“Probably because your pajamas are soaked right through. Do you have another pair?”

“Somewhere in my suitcase, in the corner. Jess?”

“Yeah?”

“I have to pee.”

“Okay. Can you hold your balance to walk?”

“I think so, yeah.”

Jess helped Rory sit up and saw she was wearing socks. “Let me take these off. You’ll slip on the bathroom floor. Jesus, your feet are freezing.”

Rory nodded weakly.

“Here, put your arm around me.” Jess practically carried Rory to the bathroom and stood behind her at the sink. “Do you need my help?”

“No.”

“Ror, I don’t mind. You can barely hold yourself up.”

“Jess, I’m fine. Just get me fresh pajamas. Please? You can help me with that, but I th-th-think I can remember how to pee,” Rory joked.

“Now who’s stubborn, huh Gilmore? Hold onto the sink until you sit down –and you’d better be comfortable peeing with the door open, because I’m not closing it.”

“I don’t perform well with an audience.”

“I’m not going to stare you down. I’m under strict orders to find your pajamas,” Jess winked, slowly releasing his hold on her and backing away tentatively. He rummaged through her suitcase quickly, keeping his ears peeled for any sounds of struggle in the bathroom.

Rory managed to do her business, flush the toilet and wash her hands without incident. Testing her luck walking out of the bathroom was a bit too much –she stumbled reaching to shift her steadying grip from the sink to the doorframe, tripping forward and heading fast for a nose-dive on the tile.

Luckily, Jess was right there and he sprang into action quickly, dropping her pajamas and lunging forward. He dropped even faster than her, managing to wrap his arms around her in the midst of landing on his knees. “Easy Rory. Are you okay?”  
  
“You’re good at that,” she mumbled.  
  
“What’s that?”

“Catching me before I hit the floor.”

Jess laughed quietly. “Yes, I am. Good thing too, huh? If you’re still this weak next time you have to use the bathroom, just let me help you, okay?”

“Fine.”

Kissing her head gently, he picked her up and carried her back to bed and carefully helped her change. Once she was in dry clothes, she warmed up a little and started to doze off again.

“Do you want to go to the other bed? The sheets won’t be damp, you might be more comfortable.”

“Okay.”

Picking her up and setting her down gently, Jess once again pulled up a single sheet and draped it softly around her. “Hey, Ror?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think you’ll be okay if I dash out while you’re asleep?”

“Why?”

“I need to pick up some things. I won’t be long. I promise. I’ll wait until you’re asleep and I’ll put your phone next to you. You can call me if you need anything and I’ll come right back. I’ll be really quick but I don’t want to leave while you’re asleep without you knowing where I went.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll only be gone for twenty minutes, max.”

“Okay, Jess,” she yawned.

Jess held Rory’s hand until she fell asleep. When her grip on his fingers weakened, he studied her breathing for five minutes, making sure it was slow and regular before freeing his hand and setting her arm gently across her stomach. Kissing her forehead quickly, Jess made sure her phone was within her reach before slipping out the door.

Down in the lobby, he asked where the nearest grocery store was –luckily, there was a Wal-Mart one block away. Running in and grabbing everything from Lorelai’s list as fast as he could, Jess didn’t even have time for any weird nostalgia to hit him because once, a long time ago, he worked in one of these depressing stores. In addition to the list, he bought garbage bags and laundry detergent.

He pulled out his phone to text Lorelai quickly when he got back to the hotel lobby, gritting his teeth and cursing when he saw he’d been gone for almost half an hour. “Fucking Wal-Mart. Why must all the world’s dumbest people populate one store? I would have been fine, if not for that damn lineup.”

_Got all the stuff on your list. She was asleep when I left._  
  
_Ah! You’re gold, mini-Sly! How is she?_  
  
_Pretty much the same._

_Fever that high might take a day and a half or so to break completely. If it lasts longer than forty-eight hours, you’re allowed to worry. Well, worry more._

_Got it. We’ll call you tomorrow; hopefully she’ll be less out of it by then._

_Bless you, mini-Sly. Oh, Luke says hi._

_Hi back._

When Jess made it back to the room, Rory was just starting to stir. He immediately started to worry when he saw that her pajamas were, once again, almost soaked through with sweat. “Damn,” he said quietly. “Do you have another pair, Rory?”

“Yeah, but they’re my last ones,” she replied drowsily.

“That’s okay. I got laundry detergent, I’ll wash the other ones. Hold on, let me get a cold cloth for your head first,” Jess said, setting down the Wal-Mart bag and disappearing into the bathroom.

When he came back and started gently dabbing her forehead, Rory just stared at him.

“What?”

“I looked in the bag.”

“Okay…”

“Jess, there’s tomato soup and Goldfish crackers in there. And JELL-O. And red and blue freezies. And Canada Dry ginger-ale. And English breakfast tea. And a giant soft blue blanket.”

“Yeah.”

“How did you know –?”

“I called your mom.”

Rory’s chin started to quiver. “You called Mom?”

Jess nodded. “Hey, you’re not sweating as much as you were before. How are you feeling? A tiny bit better, maybe?”

“Maybe, yeah. I don’t know.”

Scanning the room quickly, he found the thermometer that Lydia left behind. “Open up.” Sticking it under her tongue, he waited impatiently until it chirped; the number he saw made him smirk. “You’ve gone down to one-oh-one. You are getting better. Once I get you into dry pajamas, do you think you wanna try to eat something?”

Jess peeked out the window after he’d helped Rory change and settled her back in bed with the soft blue blanket draped over her legs. He was shocked to see that it was starting to get dark. Where had the day gone?

“Hey, Dodger?”

Turning around, he smiled crookedly. If Rory had enough of her wits about her to call him Dodger, she really was on the mend. Not out of the woods yet, but definitely on the mend. “Yeah?”

“Can I have a freezie? And some water?”

“Yes. Absolutely. Red or blue?”

“Blue.”

Jess crossed the room and took out a blue freezie for Rory and a red one for himself.

“Very fitting, we’re sticking to our school colours,” Rory giggled. “Oh God! School! Jess, how are you –?”

“Calm down, Rory,” he said gently when he saw her eyes lose focus. “It’s okay. Summer semester is heavy on reading, not so with assignments. I can do my readings from here for the week. You must be getting better, if you’re worrying about my academics,” he laughed. Sitting down next to her and kicking his feet up, he handed her the freezie. “Here, lean on me.”

“Jess?”

“Yeah, Ror?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Being here, calling Mom, loving me.”

Jess smiled and swallowed the lump in his throat. “That last thing might be the only thing I’ve ever been good for,” he said softly. “I’m sorry you’re so sick, but I’m not so sorry that it means I get to have you all to myself for a few days. So what do you think, is it time for a Ringwald marathon?”

“I don’t know if I’m up for a marathon, but I think I have enough energy for one, yeah,” Rory smiled. “You pick.”

“ _Breakfast Club_ for the win,” he said, finding the TV remote and clicking through the movie menu.

Rory fell asleep halfway through the movie, so Jess just turned it off –perfectly content to just lie there, holding her in the dark until he fell asleep too.

* * *

For the next two days, Rory’s fever dropped down to one hundred, but refused to budge any further. She was eating soup and crackers and still sleeping a lot. While Jess was relieved that she gave up being stubborn and let him help her go to the bathroom and bathe, he was thanking whatever God existed that she never started vomiting –that might have made even his stomach start to churn.

She was well enough to have short phone conversations with Lydia, Lorelai and Luke, so everyone was breathing easier. But Rory was still very sick –she got dizzy and disoriented easily and continued to have bouts of severe cold sweats.

Jess piled his dirty laundry and Rory’s in separate garbage bags and washed things by hand in the shower while she was asleep. He did his homework while she slept too so that when she was awake, he could focus on her one hundred per cent. He was averaging about six hours of sleep a night –which wasn’t enough, headaches crept up on him at least once a day, but it was more than he ever expected to be getting, given the circumstances.

Jess was just happy to have time alone with Rory that wasn’t rushed or ‘squeezed in’ to their schedules. He was perfectly content to help her with whatever she needed –even things that were decidedly less than sexy, like holding her steady on the toilet, continuously helping her change out of soaked sweaty clothing and then washing those sweat-drenched clothes by hand.

His favourite parts of the day were when he and Rory could curl up together under that soft, blue blanket and watch movies while eating JELL-O and soup and crackers and freezies and drinking ginger-ale, bickering over the merits of _Sixteen Candles,_ binge watching _Jem and the Holograms_ (which Jess secretly liked –despite the abounding girliness of it all, _Jem_ was a solid classic) and agreeing that _The Never-Ending Story_ is possibly one of the best movies to come out of the eighties.

On the third day Jess was there, Rory’s phone rang while she was asleep. It was odd because anyone who wanted to check in or talk to her was calling Jess on his cell, to be sure that she was never disturbed if she was asleep –Luke, Lorelai, Lane, Lydia, Daniel the guys at Truncheon, even Emily and Richard.

This is why Jess was so surprised to hear Rory’s phone ring that he all but pounced on it –not wanting the shrill ringtone to wake her- when he saw that it was Hugo Gray. Normally, Jess would not intervene when it came to anything related to Rory’s work, but he knew if Hugo was calling, it was probably something important that shouldn’t go to voicemail. He also realized that their three days were up –Hugo was probably calling to see how she was doing.

Despite never having actually talked to Hugo before in his life, Jess picked up the call and spoke with ease. Nothing about what he knew of Hugo gave him even the slightest inclination that he should be nervous to speak to the man. “Hi, Hugo Gray? This is Jess Mariano, Rory’s boyfriend. She’s sleeping and I didn’t want the call to wake her, but I picked up because I figured it might be important. Can I give her a message?”

“Oh my God, you’re the boyfriend I keep hearing about! It’s great to be able to put a voice to the name, finally,” Hugo said genuinely. “I’m so glad you’re there with her, Jess –can I call you Jess? Please just call me Hugo. And definitely don’t wake her, if she’s resting. How’s she doing, any better?”

Jess laughed quietly. “Jess is my name, so yeah. I’m good with you calling me that. Rory’s doing better. Her fever’s come down from one-oh-three when I first got here, but it doesn’t seem to wanna budge from one hundred –it’s been stuck there for a few days now. She’s getting a little stronger, eating and drinking more every day, but then she’ll have a really bad dizzy spell. It’s not even a ‘one step forward, one step back,’ situation. It’s like, she needs to take three steps forward to kick this thing and she takes one step and gets stuck there.”

Hugo sighed. “Poor kid. She’s been working so hard. I’m not surprised that she’s down for the count with this one. I mean it Jess –I really am glad you’re there with her.”

“Thanks. Hey, I hope this isn’t weird, but I wanted to thank you for –when I had my accident in the winter you really stepped up, made sure Rory could spend as much time with me as possible –I really appreciate it.”

“It was my pleasure Jess, really. Listen, when Rory wakes up tell her I want her to stay in California for the rest of the week. I’ll get to work rearranging her flight to Jordan so that she can fly out of San Diego on Sunday. That trip is going to be one hell of a world-wind and I can’t risk her being any less than one hundred per cent over there. While she’s on American soil, I can give her time off to get some rest, but if something happens to her over there it’s a much more dangerous and complicated situation. I know she’s going to worry about it, but do your best to convince her she doesn’t have to, okay? She’s lucky to have such a good friend in Lydia –she’s no Rory Gilmore, but she is a great journalist and she’s doing an amazing job pulling double duty.

“Rory just needs to get better. And you two –you need to savour this time you have together now, before you’re forced to remember that the world is continuing to turn outside that hotel room. Things are only going to get more hectic from here to the finish line, Jess. Believe me, take advantage of this slightly imperfect reprieve you two are getting. We’re barreling towards the finish line now and things are only going to get crazier.”

“I appreciate that Hugo, really. That means a lot. Forgive me, but how exactly do you know so much about… that stuff? And why are you talking to me about it? You don’t even know me,” Jess asked carefully.

“I’ve been where you are, Jess. Or more precisely, I’ve been exactly where Rory is and my girlfriend at the time was exactly where you are. Oh my God, were we ever in love,” Hugo sighed, a little sadly. “But we couldn’t make it work. My career was on a hectic fast track to greatness, much like Rory’s is now and my girlfriend had some stellar ambitions of her own. The reason it didn’t work had nothing to do with not being in love –believe me, we were. But my career got super intense, super fast and I was traveling all the time and her career had her based in one place and we just –couldn’t find that elusive ‘work/life balance’ everyone’s always talking about. We were madly in love from day one. We never fell out and still –we couldn’t make it work.

“I don’t know anything about you besides what Rory tells me. Rory loves you Jess. I get the feeling that she’s never loved anyone the way she loves you –and my gut is telling me that you’ve never loved anyone the way you love her, either. This job is a grind and it’s unforgiving physically, emotionally and psychologically. This job has a nasty habit of taking from you as much as it gives –as Stanley Tucci told Anne Hathaway in _The Devil Wears Prada_ : The day you realize you got the promotion, or the position you’ve been waiting for your whole life is also the day you realize that your entire personal life has gone up in smoke.”

“Wow. I don’t know what to say, Hugo that’s, it must have been so hard.”

“I don’t want to see that happen to you and Rory, Jess. Frankly, I’m amazed you’ve been able to survive for over a year through all of this craziness. I’ve seen _marriages_ dissolve over long-distance issues that are much smaller than this.

“So listen –take this advice from a guy who loved greatly and lost it –if you’re going to have the slightest hope in hell of not imploding over the stupidest thing and losing the best love you’ll ever know- then stay in that hotel room and cuddle and giggle and watch movies and take care of Rory, Jess. It’ll be over way too soon and when she boards that plane to Jordan and then Israel and Germany and Paris, things are only going to start tumbling forward harder and faster from here to the finish line. It’s this time you have together now that will make all the craziness that you’re in for even remotely bearable. Now is your chance to reconnect and simply be, with nothing to do but savour it and fall in love with each other all over again."

* * *

By Thursday, Rory’s temperature was only slightly high at ninety-nine.

When she woke up on Friday, it was back to normal, though she still felt weak and tired. Jess was relieved when she asked for scrambled eggs and cheese for dinner on Friday night, with a cup of tea to go with it.

“Sorry, scrambled eggs in the microwave are shit, but it’s the best I can do,” Jess said apologetically as he cracked the eggs in the special microwavable container he bought to cook them.

“That’s okay,” Rory smiled. “I’m just glad to be able to eat some real food.”

“I’m also glad you’re eating real food. Not that freezies aren’t great, but the nutritional value is negotiable.”

They ate together in comfortable silence. Jess ditched the paper plates and plastic cutlery when they were done and came back to the bed, wrapping Rory in his arms. She laid her head against his chest and let out a shaky sigh.

“You wanna watch a movie, Ror? Our eighties-fest wouldn’t be complete without some animated film classics – _All Dogs Go To Heaven_ maybe, or _The Land Before Time_?”

“I never wanna leave this hotel room,” she whispered. “Can time just stay still a little longer, please?”

“We have two more days. We don’t have to leave just yet,” he said quietly, hugging Rory closer.

“It’s not enough time, Jess.”

“I know. Rory, look at me,” Jess shifted to hold her face in his hands and let their noses touch. “I love you –I love you more than I thought was humanly possible. Just when I think I can’t possibly love you more, somehow, I do. This has been a long, hard haul and it’s not quite over yet. I promise you Ror, when this is over and you’ve chased Obama all the way to the White House, I’ll be right there, waiting for you. We’re almost there; when this is all over it’ll just be you and me. We’ll get into a nice, boring groove, we’ll spend days just like this. You’ll find an awesome job in Philadelphia, I’ll finish school and then –then the world is ours Rory. We’ll have all the time in the world.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I love you Jess,” Rory said softly. “Thank you for taking care of me this week. I’m glad it was you.”

“You scared me there for a while you know. When I first got here, you were –Rory, promise me you’ll be careful when you’re in Jordan and Israel –I need you safe –I need you –I just need you, okay?”

“Okay.”

“You don’t have a fever anymore…”

“No…”

“So that means I can kiss you. We can make out like teenagers,” Jess winked.

“Yeah,” Rory giggled. “We can.”

They did indeed kiss each other gently for a long time, letting their lips wander across each other’s faces and down their necks. Eventually, Rory got tired and went limp in Jess’ arms; he simply pecked her nose, drew her close against him and turned on the movie –they ended up watching both.

Saturday was a quiet and bittersweet day. Rory and Jess packed up wordlessly in the morning in preparation for their separate departures the next day. They got their packing done early so that they could spend as much time in each other’s arms as possible, doing their best to shut out the world and ignore the ticking clock.

* * *

On Sunday, they shared a cab to the airport. Rory’s flight left first. She was flying across the world and Jess wasn’t sure what worried him more –where she was going or the thought that she might start feeling sick again. Goodbyes were hushed and tears were silent. They couldn’t call each other when Rory was so far away, so the deal was two emails a day, one in the morning and one at night from each of them, with Rory getting in touch the second she got to each place.

Lydia made one quick call to Rory on Saturday night, assuring her that she would be there to meet her flight when it arrived in Jordan. Jess was more thankful than ever that Rory and Lydia had each other –he felt better knowing Rory wasn’t totally alone.

“You said you’re in Chicago on the twenty-seventh?” Jess asked, just as they heard her flight being called.

“Yeah, I get in on the twenty-sixth from Paris, the Unity Convention is on the twenty-seventh,” she looked around frantically and clung to Jess tightly. “I have to –I have to go.”

“I know,” Jess said. Propping her chin up with his finger, he forced her gaze back on him and wasted no time, capturing her lips in a deep kiss. He forced her lips apart with expert movements against her mouth and pushed against her, tangling their tongues together.

 Rory’s initial shock wore away fast and she snaked her arms underneath his, running her hands along his back and clutching his shirt in needy fists. With her eagerness matching his, they pushed and pulled against each other passionately.

Jess dropped his small bag and wrapped both arms around her, lifting her off her feet. When he set her down, he drew the kiss out to a gentle close. “That, my dear Rory, is ‘much’,” he smiled softly and brushed away her tears.

“I love you Jess,” she whispered.

“Always. Okay,” Jess sighed. “Hurry up and go. If you stay in my arms much longer I might hold you tight and refuse to let you out of my sight. I wouldn’t want you to lose your job because I all of the sudden get creepily clingy.” He closed his eyes and placed a lingering kiss on her forehead. “I love you, Rory. Go. Go and come back to me. Come back to me. I’ll be waiting,” he whispered against her skin.

Rory slipped out of his grasp quickly, knowing that the only way she could leave his arms is if she did it fast and didn’t look back.

Jess didn’t permit himself to turn around and look in the direction of Rory’s gate until he knew she was gone, far out of anywhere his sight could reach. He could still feel her –the warm impression of her body against his lingering even after she disappeared.


	46. Chapter 46

“That scared the shit out of me,” Daniel said, sighing deeply as he and Jess walked to a nearby coffee shop. “Did you know he was in Afghanistan and Iraq before going to Jordan?”

“No,” Jess shook his head. “Good thing too. If they’d sent Rory there, I would have physically barred her from getting on the plane.”

Daniel shook his head. “Man, if Lydia had been sent I…”

Jess noticed Daniel blushing deeper than normal and put a friendly hand on his back. “Breathe, it’s okay, man. Are you –are you in love with her, Frenchie?”

“Maybe.”

“Judging by the colour of your cheeks and your less than steady breathing, I’d upgrade that ‘maybe’ to a ‘yes’. Does she know?”

“No. When exactly would I tell her?”

“Fair point.”

“So, Rory’s better?”

“Mostly, yeah,” Jess said, covering his mouth to sneeze and cough.

“Looks like you didn’t escape totally unscathed,” Daniel chuckled, offering him a Kleenex.

“Believe me, being a little stuffed up is nothing compared to what she was dealing with. I’m lucky.”

Both Daniel and Jess received emails from Lydia and Rory the night before, saying that they’d arrived in Jordan safely.

Jess barely slept at all, which had nothing to do with his minor cold and everything to do with worrying over Rory. He’d even called Lorelai and Luke later than would otherwise be considered acceptable and somehow, all three of them managed to calm each other down long enough to get a few hours of sleep.

Walking into the coffee shop, Jess stopped dead in his tracks when he looked towards the counter. Standing not three feet from him was a short, freckle-faced raven-haired young woman wearing large horn rim glasses, flat strappy sandals and a striped shirtdress. Her hair was sitting in a knot on top of her head.

“Hepburn?” he said quietly, unsure if it was really her.

She looked up instantly, knowing that nickname would only come from one person. Smiling broadly, a twinkle passed through her dark brown eyes. “Mari!”

“Okay, I missed something,” Daniel whispered to himself, stepping back slightly as ‘Hepburn’ quickly skipped over to Jess.

“It’s so good to see you, Mari!” she said, pulling him into a friendly hug.

“Yeah,” Jess said, still a little shocked, wrapping his arms around her lightly. “You too, Hepburn.” Stepping back, Jess took in the sight of her. “You look good. How are you?”

“Oh, I’m good. Same old, same old really.”

“Still doing the scriptwriting thing?”

“Yeah. What about you, still at Truncheon?”

“Yup. I’m at Temple University now too. I’ll be starting sophomore year soon.”

“That’s amazing! What are you taking?”

“English Lit.”

“Of course,” she laughed, noticing Daniel for the first time. “Oh God, I’m sorry. You must think I’m so rude. Mari, why didn’t you say you had a friend with you? Hi, I’m Audrey. It’s nice to meet you.”

“I’m Dan,” he said, reaching to shake Audrey’s hand. “Oh! I get it, Hepburn! Clever!”

“Yeah, sorry,” Jess chuckled. “Audrey and I used to… hang out –a few years back. Dan and I go to Temple together.”

“Oh, great! You look happy, Jess.”

“I am,” Jess smiled. “Hey, the locket’s back,” he said, pointing to her necklace. “Ben wised up, huh?”

“Yeah,” Audrey smiled, playing with the chain. “Well listen. I should go. Jess, it was so awesome to run into you, I’m so glad you’re well.”

“You too, Audrey,” he smirked.

“Dan,” Audrey said, “very nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Daniel smiled.

“Stay pensive, Mari,” she laughed, standing on tiptoe to peck Jess’ cheek.

“Stay classy, Hepburn,” he answered.

“Always,” Audrey winked as she slipped out the door.

Once she’d disappeared, Jess closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, letting his shoulders slump. “No fucking way,” he said quietly. “Hey Frenchie, do you believe in karmic symmetry?”

“If I didn’t before, I might now. What the hell was that, ‘Mari’?” Daniel asked with a laugh.

“I need tea, then I’ll tell you,” Jess answered.

“I thought you wanted coffee?”

“Coffee makes you tense. I wish to be soothed.”

“Oh boy,” Daniel giggled. “This _is_ gonna be good.”

Once they sat down, Jess took a minute to gather his thoughts. “Okay,” he said.

“Okay. So…. Hepburn?”

“Yeah. Remember how I told you Rory and I were quite the rollercoaster until two years ago?”

“Yes, very well.”

“So… I was dealing with a lot of hurt, feelings of failure, yadda, yadda, yadda and I dealt with those feelings by –”

“Having a lot of sex, naturally.”

“Right. Well, the last thing I wanted to do while I was …working through stuff…. was hurt. I didn’t want to feel it and I didn’t want to cause it. I was always up front with the women I slept with –all it was was sex, I wasn’t the guy to give them any more than that. If it got to the point where women were starting to fall for me, I broke it off. Always.”

“Hepburn threw you for a loop, didn’t she?” Daniel asked knowingly.

“Little bit. We were only together for about six weeks, which –granted, not that long- was longer than I’d stayed with anyone else. Audrey was the only girl who –well, we were almost friends. We knew each other before we started falling into bed. Not well, but –”

“Well enough.”

“Yeah,” Jess sighed. “Her boyfriend broke up with her and she really loved him. She was hurting and so was I, so it seemed to work perfectly. We took away each other’s pain.”

“Would this be the aforementioned Ben?”

“Yup. Anyway, we weren’t just comforting each other with sex –we’d, you know, talk through stuff. She’s the only girl that the guys at Truncheon knew by face and name, she’s the only one they actually met. It was a casual thing, but not a sneak-out-by-cloak-of-night thing. We didn’t all hang out and like, go to brunch or anything, but. I eventually realized what was happening and I ended it, but I think I was about two weeks too late. I didn’t mean to, but I –”

“You hurt her,” Daniel said. “And you felt bad about it.”

“Yeah.”

“And Rory just ran into her ex, and you kinda exploded, so now you feel –”

“Karma’s a bitch,” Jess sighed.

“When was all this? With Hepburn –Audrey?”

“Three and a half –four years ago, maybe? I don’t remember exactly, but I know I hadn’t been at Truncheon long. Point is, I didn’t make a rookie mistake. I thought I had a good system for avoiding pain. After Audrey, I had to do some fine tuning.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning, if a woman I’d never met flirted with me or came on to me, it was all fair game for some good, safe, raunchy fun. After Audrey, I never slept with another woman I actually knew personally and I would always cut her loose as soon as she got even a little chummy.”

Jess still looked shell-shocked and deflated when he arrived back at Truncheon later that afternoon.

“Dude,” Chis said with a chuckle, “you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I kinda did,” Jess sighed.

“What do you mean?” Matt asked.

“Hepburn…”

“Seriously?” They both asked, echoing each other.

“Seriously. I mean it was fine, it was nothing –less than five minutes, but still. It threw me.”

“Timing sucks,” Chris said.

“Yeah, timing certainly sucks,” Jess agreed.

“Well, just put it behind you, Jess. It’s all you can do,” Matt said. “Oh, and cheer up, you got mail while you were in California.”

“Why would that cheer me up?”

“Because it’s from Rory. I left it on your bed for you. Sorry I didn’t give it to you right when you got back, it must’ve gotten buried on my desk.”

Jess’ curiosity was instantly piqued. Whatever it was that Rory sent him, she had to have mailed it before she got sick.

* * *

July 22, 2008

_Dearest Jess,_

_I know you’re worried about me. Please take some deep breaths. I’m okay._

_Amman, Jordan is a pretty spectacular place –granted I haven’t seen much of it. I’m sure not all of it is spectacular, that adjective might be a little strong, but it’s very interesting. I thought Obama was just going to be speaking to Dignitaries and the press, but it was like a giant town hall meeting. He sat in a big room packed with Jordanian citizens and they lined up at the mic and he took their questions. It was amazing to watch –it was all conducted so well, nothing got out of hand. He was patient with everyone; no one got violent or anything._

_I’m sorry my email can’t be longer but I’m not even finished writing the article yet and deadlines and schedules are super tight. Lydia says hi; she told me to ask you if you were going to start calling her Carrots._

_Thank you for sneaking the blue blanket into my suitcase. Saying ‘I love you’ seems so insufficient, but those are the only words that are available to use. So, even though it’s so much more than that… I love you, Jess._

_-Rory  
_

* * *

July 22, 2008

_Dearest Rory,_

_We’ve upgraded from ‘dear’ to ‘dearest’, huh? I won’t argue with that. I hope you’re feeling okay. I caught a little of whatever you had, but not much. Just enough to be annoying. The blue blanket belongs with you, especially right now._

_Lydia knows –I’m your Gilbert Blythe. If she’s not being called Carrots, that’s something I’ll gladly take up with Daniel –she deserves to be called Carrots, but definitely not by me._

_I just read your article from the giant ‘town hall’ in Amman. Wow. It seems lame, I know. But literally all I can say is ‘wow’. Wow._

_Speaking of ‘wow’, I found some mail today, that came while I was in California with you. Aren’t you just a sneaky little minx? You know you’re never getting those back, right? They’re mine forever now. You’ll also be happy to know that your little present did exactly what it was supposed to do._

_‘I love you’ does seem insufficient doesn’t it? Especially now. But alas, alack, it’s all we have. If I could take credit for some Shakespeare right about now, I would –but you’d know I didn’t come up with it._

_I love you, Rory. Always. I’m waiting for you. Come back to me._

_-Jess_

Jess sighed heavily as he sent the email. He knew he needed to tell Rory about Audrey –it figured that he’d run into the one girl that was even slightly more than just a roll in the sack; he knew immediately that he couldn’t keep it from her in good conscience, especially in light of how he’d reacted to Logan being in California. But, the exact details of how to broach the subject eluded him. The only thing Jess knew for sure is that he could not have this conversation over email when Rory was a world away. So he wasn’t saying anything just yet.

* * *

“Oh my God, you’re kidding!” Rory said in disbelief.

“No joke, kid,” Hugo assured her. “I wouldn’t joke about something like this. The story you posted from Amman was picked up by the Associated Press! I would have told you sooner but you were in the air. Check and see for yourself! Anyway, I just wanted to call to say great work. I hope Israel treats you well, before you can hardly get your bearings, you’ll be off to Berlin tomorrow. How are you feeling? You’re not about to get stricken down with –”

“I’m fine Hugo, I promise,” Rory laughed. “Thanks for letting me rest up in San Diego.”

“Thank Lydia before you thank me. She’s the one who did a brilliant job covering your beat –on top of her own no less.”

“I have.”

“And thank Jess. Not many men I know –even the ones who are hopelessly in love- would rearrange their lives to fly out to the other end of the country to stay with his girlfriend while she’s sick.”

“You talked to Jess?”

“Yeah, I called one day while you were sleeping –he picked up the phone so that it wouldn’t wake you. He’s impressive Rory –and I don’t just mean his writing. He really loves you. You two are something special. Make sure you hold onto each other. You won’t get another shot at a love like that.”

“I will Hugo, I promise,” she smiled.

It occurred to Rory that it would have been completely natural to feel uncomfortable at the unexpected turn that this conversation with her boss had taken, but she wasn’t –not even in the slightest. She was extraordinarily grateful to be working for a great boss who genuinely cared about her, not just as one of his reporters, but on a personal level. Professional lines and boundaries were never crossed of course, but she felt spoiled that she had gotten a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity right out of Yale and her boss was a decent, kind man who genuinely cared about her. She and Hugo had never said as much, but it was clear that she’d never be wanting for a job –no matter what else came her way or how long she might be away chasing larger fish to fry for much more established publications, as she was sure her work on this campaign would give her no shortage of opportunity to do- there would always be a place for her at Hugo’s hip little online news site.

When she checked her email after the question and answer session from her hotel room in Sderot Israel, her inbox was flooded. Rory had received excited congratulatory notes about her story being picked up by the Associated Press by almost everyone she knew –and more than a few that she didn’t, people already putting out feelers for what her plans were once the campaign was over. She read through the emails from Jess, her mom (and Luke), her grandparents, Lane and Paris and pretty much ignored the rest. She was far too busy to let her wheels start spinning about where she could be by the end of the calendar year –there was only one place she really _wanted_ to be, so at this moment the rest of it, no matter how flashy, didn’t really matter.

* * *

“Aw man, with all the commotion the other day –”

“What are you referring to –the ill-timed run-in with an ex-fling or Rory’s story being picked up by the AP?” Daniel asked with a laugh.

“First of all, that’s a hell of a lot of hyphenated words to use in a single sentence. Second of all –both, I guess. Anyway, I forgot to ask… how was the homestead?” Jess chuckled.  
             
“Ottawa?”

“Yeah. Unless you have another homestead I don’t know about. You were there for a month right after school ended –how was it?”

“Hot. But great.”

“How hot?”

“Like, thirty-five degrees at least, every day.”

“Dude, in the land of the free, thirty-five is freezing.”

Daniel rolled his eyes. “Canada goes by Celsius, Jess.”

“So in English, that means…. ?”

“Ninety to a hundred degrees, Doogie.”

“Hey, I have a soft spot for Doogie, thank you very much. That’s all Ottawa was…. hot? You’re gonna have to do a better job selling me on the great white North,” Jess teased.

Daniel shrugged. “I told you already. To me, it’s just home. I can’t sell it to you. Ottawa’s pretty in the summer. There’s quite a few rivers and waterfronts, downtown is busy but not insane –the historic vibe makes it lovely. I spent a lot of time wandering around the Byward Market with my friends and my family –the Byward market is this three or four block radius of downtown sprawling with pedestrian shops and outdoor markets and great restaurants and people just wander, it’s even closed off to cars.”

“Wow. Sounds nice.”

“It is. We have some great little bookstores too.”

“Come to think of it, a cute redhead told me about Ottawa’s thriving independent literary scene a few months ago,” Jess winked.

Daniel blushed.

“Dude, you’re totally in love. If you don’t tell her soon, you might blush so deep you turn purple.”

“When am I supposed to –”

“I’m going to surprise Rory in Chicago when her fight gets in from Paris on Saturday –spend the night with her and come back the next day for school. Why don’t you come and surprise Lydia? Nothing says romance like a good looking guy waiting at the airport. You can take her on a legit first date –call her Carrots.”

“Call her –what?”

“Are you really gonna make me explain the plot of _Anne of Green Gables_ to you? Please don’t –they’re good books, I won’t deny that but don’t make me explain it to you.”

Daniel laughed. “I’ve read them, Jess.”

“I should hope so. Wait, even the ones about her kids?”

“No, of course not. But the other six –”

“The good ones.”

“Right.”

“So, then, why do you seem so confused? Call her Carrots, Frenchie! Man up, be her Gilbert Blythe!”

* * *

July 24, 2008

_Dear Jess,_

_Berlin is an amazing place. We think America has history? I’m just sad that I only get to see so little of it. Are you breathing easier now? I’m so sorry I got you sick. I hope you’re getting some rest._

_I still think it’s so crazy that the AP picked up one of my stories! Did you know that I even heard from Paris about that? She took enough time out of kicking ass and making people cry at Harvard to congratulate me on my skills as a journalist not totally sucking. She says she taught me well. Can you believe her? I can’t even be mad, it’s so hilarious. She never changes…._  
             
_I promised myself I wouldn’t email you full of dry, boring political speech while I was away, but Jess –Obama’s speech in Tiergarten Park today was so full of life, so full of promise and hope for international relations. It doesn’t matter if it’s a town hall meeting in Wisconsin or a speech on the international stage –and they might turn out to be words made by nothing but hot air for all anyone knows right now about how much he’ll live up- but if Obama’s one thing, he’s a unifier. Whether he’s unifying the States or trying to unify the world, his message seems to be unwavering. You can’t say he’s not consistent, that’s for sure, and my God does he set his standards for consistency high._

_Today, he said: ‘the fall of the Berlin Wall brought new hope. But that very closeness has given rise to new dangers –dangers that cannot be contained within the borders of a country or by the distance of an ocean. The terrorists of September eleventh plotted in Hamburg and trained in Kandahar and Karachi before killing thousands from all over the globe on American soil. As we speak, cars in Boston and factories in Beijing are melting the ice caps in the Arctic, shrinking coastlines in the Atlantic, and bringing drought to farms from Kansas to Kenya. Poorly secured nuclear material in the former Soviet Union, or secrets from a scientist in Pakistan could help build a bomb that detonates in Paris. The poppies in Afghanistan become the heroin in Berlin. The poverty and violence in Somalia breeds the terror of tomorrow. The genocide in Darfur shames the conscience of us all. In this new world, such dangerous currents have swept along faster than our efforts to contain them. That is why we cannot afford to be divided. No one nation, no matter how large or powerful, can defeat such challenges alone. None of us can deny these threats, or escape responsibility in meeting them. Yet, in the absence of Soviet tanks and a terrible wall, it has become easy to forget this truth. And if we're honest with each other, we know that sometimes, on both sides of the Atlantic, we have drifted apart, and forgotten our shared destiny. In Europe, the view that America is part of what has gone wrong in our world, rather than a force to help make it right, has become all too common. In America, there are voices that deride and deny the importance of Europe's role in our security and our future. Both views miss the truth - that Europeans today are bearing new burdens and taking more responsibility in critical parts of the world; and that just as American bases built in the last century still help to defend the security of this continent, so does our country still sacrifice greatly for freedom around the globe.’_

_Okay, okay. I promise, no more politics. I’m sorry. I know you don’t look forward my emails repeating everything that I write about in my articles. Two days until I’m that much closer to you Jess. As fun as jet setting can be, I’m tired. I want to come home._

_love you more than there are words to tell you so. I’m email you from France._

_-Rory  
_

* * *

Jess smiled at her email, thinking she must be feeling much better. He hadn’t seen an email that long in over a month –Rory was getting back to herself. He only sent her a short reply back, knowing she wouldn’t have much time to be sitting reading emails.

Taking a deep breath, relieved to have her on safer ground, Jess turned his attention to finalizing his surprise for Rory in Chicago and finally thinking about how to bring up the tricky topic of Audrey.

Having gotten Hugo’s email address from Lydia, Jess explained that at least for the night of July twenty-sixth, Rory would not need to be staying on his dime. Hugo had done enough for both of them in California.

When emailing with Lydia, Jess did a very good job of not letting on that she’d be getting a surprise of her own in the Windy City. _You’re getting your Gilbert Blythe, dear Anne with an –e_ , he thought to himself with a smirk.


	47. Chapter 47

“You nervous?” Daniel asked Jess as they stood outside the baggage claim area at O’Hare airport, waiting for the girls to arrive.

Jess smirked. “I’m anxious. _You’re_ nervous.”

“Are you sure the flight actually landed? Maybe the arrivals screen was wrong…”

“They landed, Dani boy. Going through customs and collecting bags takes time. Breathe.”

“How come you’re so calm?”

“Long, arduous hours of practice. Plus, I’m waiting for the woman I love. You’re waiting for the woman you love so that you can tell her you love her –for the first time. There is a very big difference.”

Jess wasn’t watching the clock like Daniel. His eyes were trained on the large automatic doors a few feet in front of him –waiting. He didn’t know how long he and Daniel stood there waiting. Daniel brought a small bouquet of pink roses with him, which Jess thought was cliché, but very sweet. Somehow, everything that came from Daniel was genuine, even if it was sickeningly sweet. Jess laughed quietly to himself, thinking what an unlikely duo he and Daniel were –the grumpy misanthrope and the kindest person on the face of the earth, somehow they had found a way to become best friends.

Finally –just as Jess was starting to think that Daniel might have been right to worry about whether the flight had actually landed- the doors opened and he saw Rory, walking with Lydia, laughing. In that instant, the world around him fell away. Before blocking everything but Rory out, Jess looked at Daniel, smiled crookedly and whacked his back encouragingly.

Neither man made a scene nor drew attention to themselves. They simply stood silent and waited, their pulses picking up in excitement, knowing it was only a matter of time before the girls either looked in their direction or got close enough that they’d be impossible to miss.

Rory absentmindedly scanned the small gathering of people waiting for their loved ones –she thought she saw something, someone, but it was only a flicker. She was tired, jet-lagged; it was entirely probable that her mind was playing tricks on her. But as she scanned the crowd again in the opposite direction, she froze. Her tired brain wasn’t playing tricks on her. Jess stood there, smiling at her –when their eyes locked, everything else around them disappeared. Rory’s eyes glazed over with happy tears and when she smiled, a small sob of joy escaped her throat.

“Rory? Are you okay?” Lydia asked when Rory stood unmoving.

In her periphery, Rory saw Daniel standing next to Jess, with a small bundle of roses, smiling and fidgeting nervously. “Look,” she said to Lydia, pointing towards Daniel and Jess.

Lydia gasped and her hand flew to cover her mouth. After a few beats of standing frozen, allowing the moment to sink in, both Rory and Lydia shifted their weight to run.

Rory crashed into Jess with such force that he stumbled back, wrapping his arms around her tightly to keep them both from falling. She grasped him fiercely and buried her face in his neck. “Jess,” she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. “I love you so much. What are you doing here?”

“Surprise,” Jess whispered into Rory’s skin, inhaling her scent and blinking away his tears. He tightened his hold on her and showered soft kisses across her neck and shoulder. “I love you. I love you so much.”

When they finally looked into each other’s eyes, they took a moment to caress the skin of each other’s faces and kissed passionately, not caring who might be watching. The kiss broke when a small sob crept up Jess’ throat. He pulled away gently and pressed his forehead against Rory’s.

“Jess, how are you even –?”

“It’s Saturday Rory, I don’t have school until Monday. I fly out tomorrow afternoon.”

“You planned this….”

“Yeah.”

“Since when?”

“Remember at the airport in San Diego, I asked you when you were getting into Chicago?”

Rory searched his eyes and kissed Jess deeply. When they pulled apart they held each other tightly and turned slightly, to watch Daniel and Lydia –both of whom were locked in a tearful kiss, which was most likely their first.

After some time, the four of them made their way out of the airport –Lydia and Rory hand-in-hand with the men who also held their hearts.

“Wait,” Rory said when they got outside, “where are we going? Jess, where are you and Daniel staying?”

“At a hotel,” Jess smirked. “And for tonight, you’re staying where we’re staying. But that’s not where you’re going right now,” he said, looking at Rory.

“Oh really? And where am I going right now?”

Daniel and Lydia had walked a few feet ahead of them and were wrapped up in their own private conversation.

“Right now, you’re going shopping,” Jess whispered, handing Rory a small piece of paper. “The Victoria’s Secret on Michigan Avenue is expecting you. They have my credit card information. Be nice to it,” he winked.

“Jess, why are you –?”

“I told you. That little surprise you sent me in the mail –they’re mine forever now. So, the least I can do is replace them. Have fun. I’ll be expecting you to model for me later.”

Rory laughed and hugged Jess tight. “You’re unbelievable. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. The address to the hotel is written down there too. I’ll be waiting for you.”

Rory looked at the piece of paper and saw the Michigan Avenue address belonging to Victoria’s Secret, and another address –one hundred and sixty East Pearson Street at Water Tower Pace. “What hotel is this, Jess?”

“You’ll see when you get there,” Jess smirked.

“You’re impossible!” Rory giggled.

Jess waved a cab for Rory and held the door open for her to get in, but kept her bags with him. “She’s going to the Victoria’s Secret at seven thirty-four North Michigan,” he told the driver. “Hotel’s walking distance from Michigan Avenue, Ror. But hail a cab if you think you might get lost.”

“I’ll figure it out,” Rory smiled. “Thank you, Jess. This is –I –I love you.”

“Love you too. See you soon. Have fun shopping.”

* * *

Rory’s mouth hung open in shock when she realized what hotel she was headed towards. When she walked inside, she gasped audibly at the crystal chandeliers hanging from the celling.

“Welcome to the Ritz Carlton, are you Rory Gilmore?” the young man behind the check-in desk asked.

“How did you know –?”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he smiled.

“Yes, I’m Rory Gilmore. How did you know that?”

“Mister Mariano checked in this morning and he told us what he was arranging for you. He told us to be on the lookout for a brunette with blue eyes carrying a Victoria’s Secret bag with a very shocked expression on her face. But you didn’t hear that from me.”

“Oh. Do you –?”

“Help pull off romantic surprises all the time? Yeah. Here’s your room key, Ms. Gilmore. Room five ninety-six. Turn right when you get off the elevator. Enjoy your stay with us.”

“Great,” Rory said, taking a deep breath, “thank you.”

Even the elevators had crystal chandeliers. Stepping off the elevator on the fifth floor, Rory looked everywhere by the actual direction she was walking in, trying and still failing to wrap her head around the grandeur of the place and the lengths Jess must have gone to in order to pull off such a multi-faceted surprise. When she got to room five ninety-six, she was about to swipe her keycard when the door opened with a whoosh of air.

“Welcome to chez Ritz,” Jess said with mock-seriousness. “I see you had a successful shopping trip,” he smiled. “Is my credit card crying right now?”

“Hardly,” Rory giggled, looking around the room. “Jess, this is –”

“I know, right?”

“How are you affording this?”

“It’s one night. That’s how I’m affording this. Besides, I was supposed to be able to get out to see you on the road some, and I haven’t been able to. What little money I was putting aside to be able to travel to you was just sitting there, so I splurged.”

“But what about Denver?”

“I still have money to come to Denver, Ror. Don’t worry. We won’t be staying at a Ritz, but.”

“I can’t believe you did this,” she whispered emotionally. “It’s too much, Jess.”

“As you once told me: no, it’s not –it’s just enough,” Jess whispered back, wrapping his arms around her. “I missed you Rory.”

“I missed you too, Jess. I’m so happy to be home.”

“This is Chicago,” he chuckled. “Kinda not anywhere near Connecticut.”

“I’m with you,” Rory said, leaning back to look into Jess’ eyes. “Home is wherever you are. Wherever we are together is home –I’m home.”

Jess blinked hard and smiled wistfully. “See?” he said quietly. “Just when I think I can’t possibly love you more than I already do, you go and say something like that.”

Rory leaned in and placed a delicate kiss on Jess’ lips. He deepened the contact slightly, but was perfectly happy to relish in the sweetness of it. There would be plenty of time to get hot and heavy later.

“Congratulations, by the way,” he said eventually.

“For what?”

“Your story in the AP! What do you mean, ‘For what?’” Jess laughed.

“Oh! God, I’ve been so busy, I almost forgot. Isn’t that awful?”  
             
“Little bit.”

Rory smacked his chest and laughed. “Hey!”

“You asked. I’m nothing if not honest. I printed a bunch of copies, though. And Luke and Lorelai printed even more. I’m pretty sure everyone in Stars Hollow has like, five copies. You won’t forget again,” Jess winked.

“Nope, I definitely won’t –oh my God that bed looks comfortable!” Rory pulled Jess over to the giant queen sized bed. When she sat down, she closed her eyes in ecstasy. “Oh I’m _so_ tired. I’m going to sleep so very well tonight.”

Jess took a deep and shaky breath and squeezed Rory’s hand. “Ror, I need to tell you something.”

“What is it? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I –I –it might end up looking from the outside like I –” Jess sighed. “I swear, I know how what I’m about to say will sound and how it’ll come across that I –but it’s not. It’s not like that. I promise.”

“Jess,” Rory said, stroking his cheek. “You need to take a few deep breaths and finish a coherent thought, because I have no idea what you’re talking about. Whatever it is, just tell me.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think I was going to be such a spaz.”

“It’s okay. Just slow down and tell me what’s going on.”

“I ran into someone while you were away –an ex. We were together a while ago, like four years maybe. With every other girl it was nothing but sex, but her, it was –I knew her better than the others. We were almost friends. We were only together for about six weeks, but I –when things ended, I hurt her. Hurting someone was the last thing I ever wanted to do. I was living with enough pain for ten people. Anyway, that’s not the point. I ran into her when you were in the Middle East at the beginning of the week. It threw me, seeing her. I knew I had to tell you –I was such a prick about you running into Logan, but I couldn’t –I couldn’t tell you while you were away.”

Rory sighed, never releasing her grip on Jess’ face. “Thank you for telling me. And thank you for not telling me while I was away –that would’ve been, well, I’m glad I didn’t find out like that.”

“I didn’t plan this to butter you up, Ror,” Jess said, a little desperately. “This –the hotel, the shopping- I did this because I love you. I know it seems like –”

Rory moved her hand to place a finger against Jess’ lips. “It doesn’t seem like anything other than what it actually is, Jess –a thoughtful, sweet, romantic, wonderful thing. I can’t believe you went to all this trouble.”

“I didn’t do it to –”

“I know.”

“I wasn’t trying to hide –I did this because –”

“Jess. I know.”

“I’m sorry to just blurt everything out and ramble on like this.”

“Why are you apologizing? If anyone understands the need for a good ramble, it’s me.”

Jess sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I wanted to tell you –to get it out of the way so that we could enjoy the time we have here. I –I didn’t want it hanging over my head the whole time.”

“Totally valid.”

“Are you mad?”

Rory took a deep breath. “No. Something happened and you told me. And that something was pretty tiny, all things considered. Jess, listen to me –you were up front way early about what you went through back then and how you dealt with it. I know the women you were with still exist in the world. You’re bound to run into a few of them every now and then. You’re not about to run off and be with her, are you?”

“No,” Jess said.

“Exactly. So, what’s there to be mad about?”

“You’re a better person than I, Gilmore.”

“If that’s a comment meant to compare your reaction to Logan in California and my reaction to this, don’t. Stop it. You’re beating yourself up and I don’t want you to. When I ran into Logan a few weeks ago, we were drained and tired –there were other factors that led to –what you were reacting to had very little to do with him. I know that.”

 “Rory –”

“Jess. You need to take a deep breath and stop being so hard on yourself. Cut yourself some slack, Mariano,” Rory smiled. “Oh! Is she the ice cube girl? If she is, I think it’s been enough time that I can thank her now –”

Jess laughed and leaned into Rory’s touch, kissing her palm. “She’s not the ice cube girl.”

“Damn,” she giggled.

“Rory, I love you.”

“I love you, Jess. We’re okay, I promise.”

“I just didn’t want it to overshadow –”

“I understand. And it’s not. It won’t.”

“Okay.”

“Good. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, can we enjoy this soft plushy bed?”

“You want to nap?” Jess chuckled.

“Not exactly,” Rory breathed, catching and sucking on his bottom lip.

Jess groaned into Rory’s mouth and moved a hand to cradle the back of her head as they lay back on the bed. Moving his lips to kiss across her cheek, down her neck and across her collarbone, his hands moved deftly to the hem of her simple cotton tee shirt, pushing it up and breaking their kiss only to pull it over her head quickly and toss it on the floor.

Rory giggled and did the same, discarding Jess’ shirt fast before kissing, licking and sucking all of the subtle indentations in his skin. When she dragged her nails down his bare back, he moaned against her skin and shifted himself so that he hovered above her.

Kissing down her chest, he moved her bra straps down her arms and shoved the cups aside, not even caring to remove it properly. Jess eyes unashamedly feasted on her exposed flesh before he lowered his head to take one perfect nipple in his mouth. With his hands, he blindly worked at her jeans, shoving them down her legs before cupping her other breast in his palm, twisting and pinching the nipple between his fingers.

Rory sucked in a sharp breath and whimpered –it had been far too long. As Jess ground his hips into her, she bit her lip and smiled –there would be no embarrassment this time. Reaching her hands down between them, she fiddled with the buckle on his jeans; when she felt it give way, she shoved his pants and boxers down before moving her palm to rest against her own heated skin. Moaning at her own wetness, she clutched side edge of the crotch of her panties and moved it aside, rubbing her fingers in lazy circles against herself.

Jess took his mouth away from her skin to pull her jeans off and kick his own pants and boxers away. Rory seemed confused when he left her underwear on. “Do that again –pull them out of the way.”

Rory obliged as Jess captured her lips once again, his tongue sweeping deeply into her mouth. Closing her eyes and getting caught up in the passion, Rory was totally unprepared when she felt Jess’ fingers enter her. Her eyes flew open and her lips quivered in his mouth, releasing her hand from her underwear and bringing it up to grasp the back of Jess’ neck desperately.

Jess smiled against her mouth and after a few deep pushes with his fingers, he moved his hand and thrust into her, before she could whimper at the loss. “Christ, Rory. Fuck,” he rasped out.

Rory responded by running her hands roughly up and down Jess’ bare back, digging her nails into his skin and locking her ankles around his waist. “Jess,” she panted breathlessly.

When Jess felt Rory dig her nails into his flesh, something inside him snapped. He started pushing into her harder and faster, grunting incoherently and gasping for breath. He might even have been concerned that it was too hard, too fast –but for the delicious sounds she was making.

After only a few minutes, Jess and Rory both came so powerfully that they trembled. Jess collapsed against Rory and laughed softly as he ran his nose along the soft skin of her neck. “That was fun.”

“Mmm, very,” Rory agreed, running her fingers through Jess’ short hair and massaging his scalp. She stifled a yawn.

Jess ran his fingers delicately along her cheek. “Are you tired?”

“Jet-lag,” Rory said.

Jess looked at the clock. “Well, it’s only two –why don’t you sleep for a few hours? I made dinner reservations in the restaurant downstairs for seven-thirty. Get some rest. I’ll wake you up around four, you can freshen up and we can take a walk –explore downtown a bit before dinner.”

* * *

When Jess woke Rory up, she rummaged through her suitcase for an appropriate outfit and snatched the Victoria’s Secret bag. She eyed Jess suspiciously before disappearing into the bathroom. “You didn’t peek, did you?”’

“Me?” Jess asked, raising his eyebrows innocently. “Of course not.”

“Jess…”

“I mean it! I’m looking forward to the surprise.”

Rory emerged half an hour later wearing a soft, navy blue satin scoop neck blouse, a plain black pencil skirt and black ballet flats with lace detailing and a bow adorning the toes. Her makeup was minimal and her hair was pulled back in a simple, soft ponytail.

“Wow,” Jess said quietly when he saw her. “You look beautiful.”

“You too,” Rory said, eying Jess’ dark blue jeans and his black button-down dress shirt with a subtle, bright green pinstripe –somehow, the rolled up sleeves made it infinitely sexier. “But you know, in a manly way.”

“Thanks,” he laughed, closing the distance between them and kissing Rory’s neck softly.

“Wait till you see what’s underneath,” she whispered seductively in Jess’ ear.

“Oh, now, see? That’s not fair. You keep talking like that and I’ll end up canceling our dinner reservations and saying ‘Fuck the sightseeing, I just wanna fuck you.’”

“I wouldn’t protest that.”

“I know –but it’s not nearly as romantic.”

“That depends on your definition of romantic.”

“Okay, stop. Seriously. You look beautiful, let me show you off a little before all of those pretty clothes end up in a heap in the corner.”

Jess and Rory walked hand-in-hand through several blocks of downtown Chicago, stopping to take their time to admire the historic Water Tower buildings and eventually finding their way into Millennium Park.

“Oh my God, we have to get our picture taken under the giant bean,” Rory said excitedly.

Jess laughed. “As objectively ridiculous as that statement is, I agree with you –it’s a must.”

As they neared the bean, they saw Lydia and Daniel walking together. Before making their way over to them, Jess and Rory shared a knowing smirk, silently congratulating each other on a matchmaking job well done.

When Lydia saw Rory, she pecked Daniel’s cheek quickly and rushed over to her friend and the two ladies wasted no time getting lost in girl talk.

“It’s going well, it seems,” Jess said to Daniel. “Should I start calling you Dan The Man now?”

“I beg of you not to,” Daniel laughed.

“Did you tell her?” Jess asked quietly.

“Yeah, I did,” Daniel smiled, blushing happily.

“ _Dan The Man_! And?”

“Seriously, don’t. Please, go back to calling me Frenchie…”

“I’ll never say it again, I promise. Come on, don’t hold out on me –what’d she say?”

“You saw us walking hand-in-hand just now right? How do you think it went? What do you think she said?”

“Aw! She’s your Carrots, I love it. That’s amazing. You happy?”

“The happiest. She joked about her dad being here right now and waiting to meet me, which I didn’t realize was a joke at first –scared the crap out of me.”

Jess cackled loudly. “She’s got spunk; I knew there was a reason I liked her so much.”

“What about you? Did you talk to Rory about –?” Daniel asked carefully.

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“She was more understanding than I was about Logan, by a long shot –let’s just put it that way.”

“Jess, you weren’t reacting to Logan nearly as much as you were reacting to –well, everything. Cut yourself some slack.”

“She said the same thing. All of the understanding is almost unnerving,” Jess laughed. “Oh, hey, we’re being summoned.”

Jess and Daniel made their way over to Rory and Lydia. The four of them chatted happily for a while and then posed for pictures underneath the giant bean in every combination, enlisting the kindness of a stranger to take a few pictures with all four of them.

After the photo-op, the couples parted and Jess and Rory made their way back to the Ritz. The dining room was unlike anything either of them had ever seen. Floor-to-ceiling windows and glass ceilings spanned an entire wall, providing a breathtaking view of downtown Chicago –which on this particular evening was flanked by a cloudless sky, perfect for watching the sun go down. The light from the crystal chandeliers was already romantically dim, and a large, intricate stone fountain provided a soothing backdrop to the elegant room.

Soon after they were seated, a man wearing a tuxedo and gloves came over to them with a silver tray filled with black linen napkins. “To better match your attire?” he asked quietly.

Rory stifled a giggle and took one; he wordlessly took the white napkin away and she thanked him quietly before he moved to offer one to Jess. “We’re two for two with fancy places matching napkins to our ‘attire’. Be careful Jess, you’re setting a standard that I could very easily get used to,” she whispered quietly once the man disappeared.

“I’m well aware that I might be getting myself into trouble. I better win the lottery then, huh?” Jess whispered back with a laugh. “What are you gonna have?”

“I don’t know –if I said I really want a burger, would you laugh?”

“Not at all, it might be the best burger ever made.”

They started by sharing fried calamari as an appetizer –pretty standard fare as far as any restaurant menu was concerned, but this was the Ritz, so the calamari, just as Jess was sure Rory’s burger would be, was a cut above the rest.  

“Oh my God, this _is_ the best burger ever made –and these fries!” Rory exclaimed after their main courses arrived and she took a bite.

“Don’t tell Luke,” Jess chuckled.

“How’s your roast beef?”

“Perfect.”

After dessert –a giant piece of tiramisu cake, which they shared- and a cup of coffee for each of them, their waitress appeared. “Should this be charged to your room, sir?”

“No,” Rory said quickly, before Jess could answer. “Bring the bill here please. I’ve got this Jess.”

“Ror, you don’t have to –”

“You’re spending enough money Jess. You’ve done more than enough, orchestrating this whole thing. It’s so small, let me get this, please?”

“Fine,” Jess sighed with a smile, turning to the waitress. “Bring the bill to my stubborn girlfriend, please.”

“I’m paying for breakfast tomorrow too, Mariano –even if we get room service. Argue with me and you won’t find out what’s under my skirt and blouse,” she whispered sharply.

Jess smirked crookedly. “You certainly know how to get your way, don’t you? Fine –I give, you win. You’re paying for breakfast too.”

After tossing a penny each in the fountain, Jess and Rory headed back upstairs.

* * *

The door to their room had barely shut behind them when Jess pushed Rory up against the wall and kissed her deeply. When she felt him start pulling at her blouse and trying to unfasten her skirt, she pushed him back playfully. “Come on,” Jess said in between kisses. “I let you pay for dinner –and you’re paying for breakfast! What more do you want, woman?”

Rory giggled. “I want you to go stand by the bed with your back to me and don’t turn around until I tell you.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope. Go.”

“Fine, but this better be good,” Jess said, kissing her quickly and squeezing her backside before walking over to the bed and keeping his back turned.

Rory took a few steps so that she was standing squarely behind him and then unzipped her skirt, letting it fall and kicking it aside before pulling her blouse carefully over her head and tossing it in the corner. “So, what do you think?”

Jess spun around on his heels and his jaw went slack. Rory was wearing a white satin push-up bra with a delicate black lace overlay, stopping just short of the top curve of the cups. In between her breasts, a small, perfectly centered pink bow adorned the bra for decoration. The straps were black, but had a thin, delicate pink ribbon running parallel to them, with tiny bows perfectly spaced along the length of the straps. Her panties were a matching white satin and they sat teasingly low on her hips, the waistline covered in the same delicate black lace overlay. Right above the most intimate part of her was another tiny pink decorative bow. “Jesus, Rory,” he whispered huskily.

“They’re not totally black, sorry,” Rory pouted. “I hope you weren’t expecting me to replace the ones you’re keeping with the exact same thing. If you don’t like them, I can take them back before I leave tomorrow –”

“Don’t you dare. Can I touch you now? Please?”

“Not yet. I’m almost naked here, Mariano. You’re wearing too many clothes.”

Jess unbuttoned his shirt without looking down and practically tore it off. He kicked his shoes off, peeled off his socks, undid his jeans and pulled them down, before kicking them off forcefully.

As he stood before her in nothing but his boxers, Rory bit her lip and enjoyed letting her eyes roam over his toned arms, the defined muscles of his chest and abs and admired the dark, subtle trail of hair that started under his navel and disappeared beneath the only article of clothing he was still wearing. She giggled softly as she noticed the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he struggled to breathe at anything approximating a normal rate.

“Rory,” he said breathlessly in a way that came out partially as a command and partially as a question. Jess closed his eyes, inhaled deeply and spoke again, slower, softer. “Rory, you’re beautiful. I love you. If I promise not to rip your incredibly sexy new lingerie, will you let me touch you now, please?”

Rory closed the distance between them and took Jess’ face in her hands. “I love you too.”

Jess leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Rory’s as he slid his arms around her waist. He rubbed his nose up against hers lovingly before kissing her slowly, licking her lips and letting his tongue sweep into her mouth. Without breaking their kiss he tighten his arms around her and lifted her, turning on the spot and laying her down gently on the bed. He was so careful at moving her bra straps down that it tickled her skin. Popping the clasp, he slipped it off her skin and tossed it lightly to land in the pile with the rest of her clothes before lowering his mouth to the skin of her breasts and working her artfully until she was keening.

Moving his mouth down her body slowly, Jess placed soft biting kisses across Rory’s ribcage and stomach, pausing to lick the skin of her belly button. When her breathing became shallow and fast, he smiled against her and continued his decent. He pressed his nose gently against her pelvic bone and inhaled deeply before kissing her delicate flesh through her panties, laughing quietly when he had to tighten his hands around her hips to keep her still.

“Jess, please,” Rory panted.

“I like it when you beg, Gilmore. Do it again,” Jess taunted.

Rory tilted her head up and Jess perched his chin on her hipbone and smirked.

“Please,” she said again.

“Okay,” he smiled, darting his tongue out to lick the curve of one hip, then the other.

Rory’s breath hitched when Jess caught the hem of her panties in his teeth and pulled them down with his mouth, only using his hands once he’d lowered them past her knees, to free her legs and toss them in the corner.

“You’re perfect,” Jess whispered before darting his tongue out to lick her sensitive flesh, tracing slow circles around her clit before taking it between his lips and pulling softly.

“Oh God!” Rory screamed, feeling that intoxicating tickle within her almost immediately.

Jess knew her body well. He eased the pressure on her flesh in his mouth slightly, but didn’t release it. He waited about five seconds until he felt her start to relax and pushed one finger into her, then two. Groaning loudly at how easily his fingers slid against her, he took his mouth away but continued rubbing against her with his thumb. Shoving his boxers down with his free hand and aligning himself with Rory without ever removing his hand from her, he kissed her mouth fiercely, laughing against her lips and moaning as she held his face tightly and raked her fingers almost painfully against his scalp with one hand, pulling at his short beard teasingly with the other.

Jess withdrew his fingers only when he felt Rory start to tighten, letting his length slide against her entrance and clenching his jaw at the sensation. Rory locked her heels around his back tightly, pulling him into her so fast that Jess lost his breath. “Well played, Gilmore,” he whispered into her ear lowly before sucking on her pulse point and beginning to thrust –hard.

Kissing her mouth roughly, Jess withdrew from Rory almost entirely and moved one of his hands to grasp her leg; he pulled it up, pressing her thigh against her stomach and sunk into her once more, grunting as the slightly different angle allowed for new depth to his movements.

Rory gasped and dug her nails into the skin of Jess’ back, spurring him on even more. Soon they were both covered in a thin layer of sweat, their skin meeting with a clap every time their hips rocked together.

“Jess –fuck!” Rory cried out, opening her eyes to look at him. “Flip me again. Like you did –oh God!- like you did before.”

Jess nodded wordlessly, let her leg drop out of his hand and gripped her hips tightly, yanking her roughly to the edge of the bed and perching himself up on his knees. He loosened his hold on her waist only a little, allowing Rory to buck her hips up in time with his forward thrusts as he continued to drive into her. Last time he did this, he was standing on the floor between her legs –now he was kneeling on a soft mattress that cushioned and conformed to his knees. He wasn’t sure exactly how this would work, but he was confident that it was basically the same. Once Rory started planking cleanly off the bed to buck her hips to meet his thrusts, Jess quickly wrapped his arms all the way around her, holding tightly to her right hip with his left hand and her left with his right. Once again, Jess waited until he was buried in the deepest, warmest, tightest part of her to strengthen his grip more and hold her up, freezing their movements for a fleeting second. He withdrew from her completely and flipped her swiftly keeping his arms so close around her that he could feel the skin of her midsection sweep softly along his arms as she moved.

Just like when he’d done the first time, Rory found her bearings on all fours before her mind could register the quick change in position. She really did love the rush it gave her; Jess realized it the second she’d asked him to do it and he made a mental note to remember that this was something she liked. He plunged back into her the quickly and she gripped the bed sheets in needy fists, the force of their lovemaking threatening to overwhelm her.

Jess placed a searing kiss between her shoulder blades, the sweet taste of her sweat driving him closer to climax –he didn’t know how much longer he could hold out. He ran his hands down Rory’s arms and covered her hands with his, intertwining their fingers and clutching them so tightly –so desperately- that it bordered on painful.

His thrusts became shorter, harder and faster as Jess felt his powerful orgasm reaching the hilt. He felt Rory start to tighten around him as well; he knew she was close and he wanted to wait for her. “Come on, Rory,” he said lowly, gravelly. “Come with me. Let me feel you.” Reaching around between her legs, Jess flicked her clit back and forth with his fingers –that was all it took, by the second or third pass, Rory came with a loud scream.

Jess began to tremble –feeling Rory tighten around him was his undoing; he came within her with a scream of his own.

“That was –” Jess started as they collapsed in a sweaty tangled mess of limbs, “amazing.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Rory agreed breathlessly. “Absence really does make the heart grow fonder, huh?”

“With the help of a sexy care package full of lingerie absence also makes the dick grow harder,” Jess quipped with a smile.

Rory laughed. “Apparently.”

Jess pulled Rory close and kissed her softly.

Rory snuggled against Jess’ side as he pulled the covers up around them. “This has been the best date _ever_ ,” she said with a yawn as she started to drift off to sleep.

“I’m glad. But it’s not over yet. We sill have tomorrow morning –breakfast in bed and a shower that positively _begs_ to be fucked in.”

Rory laughed drowsily. “You’re such a pig,” she said sarcastically. “I mean it Jess –this whole thing is amazing. I can’t believe you did all this. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Rory,” Jess said softly, kissing her forehead and pulling her closer to him still. Within half an hour, they were both sound asleep.

* * *

“How do you do it, Jess?” Daniel asked on the flight back to Philadelphia.

“Do what, Frenchie?”

“Be apart from the person you love so much?”

“First of all, you’re lucky you only met me last year and not three or four years ago, because old me would’ve sucked my teeth at you and told you to stop whining,” Jess laughed. “Daniel, there’s no easy answer to that, man. Honestly, Rory and I know how to hurt each other a little too well and sadly we’re more used to spending more apart than any couple as in love as we are ever should be. Every once and a while, I’m still shocked that we made it. It wasn’t without drama and pain. It still isn’t. We’ve had our fair share of heartbreaking goodbyes. Today was little less heartbreak because we’re in the home stretch –of this anyhow. You should consider yourself lucky.”

“I do –but wait, what do you mean?”

“You told Lydia you were in love with her, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“She say it back?”

“Yeah,” Daniel smiled.

“See? That. Right there. You’ve only known the woman since March and ninety-nine per cent of the time she’s been in every state _and_ country _but_ where you are. Do you have any idea how rare it is to be able to develop feelings for someone the way you two did and have it not only _not_ blow up in your face, but instead see it turn out spectacularly well? I saw you embrace her at the airport yesterday –she was yours the second you handed her those roses. You two have fallen in love despite all the odds being against you. You got to tell a woman that you were in love with her on the first date –and mean it. I can count on one hand the number of times a guy could do that without getting a drink thrown in his face, being laughed at outright or have women think he’s insane –using it as a ploy to get laid.

“The other reason you’re lucky, Dani Boy,” Jess sighed, leaning in to speak a little more quietly, “is that it’s the end of July right now. This election will be over in November. Obama will clinch that nomination in Denver in a few weeks and this election will be over in like, four months. Don’t let this campaign spell disaster for your relationship when it’s just starting. You love Lydia, Dani Boy and she loves you. You can do this. You will do this –you and Lydia will make it through this. Never mess with Carrots and her Gilbert Blythe, right? Everyone knows they were always meant to be together –so are you and Lydia. Rory and I are tired. We’ve been at this for over a year. You and Lydia are riding on a high right now –ride it all the way to the finish; that’s a luxury you and Lydia get that Rory and I never got to have, so don’t waste it.”

“Do you ever regret it?” Daniel asked.

“Regret what? Loving Rory? Encouraging her to take this job? Never. Rory and I knew what this meant for our future –at least, our future over the course of Obama’s campaign. It’s hard, yeah and we fight about lots of stuff –some of it stupid, some of it not so stupid. But we’re making it. And I promise you, when this campaign is over, we’re going to be more in love than we’ve ever been.

“That pain you’re feeling? It’s proof –proof that Lydia isn’t just some pretty woman who caught your eye –you _love_ her man, and she loves you. Yeah, the next few months are going to be one hell of an emotional rollercoaster, but let me give you some advice –try as hard as you can _not_ to get rear-ended at a traffic light and if you do, don’t make the mistake I made –tell Lydia right away. When you run into an ex of any kind, and you think –morally speaking- that it’s something she should know, tell her. And don’t be a prick about her exes if you find out she’s seen one of them somewhere –because she loves _you_ , she wants to be with _you_. That’s what you have to remember.

“We’re in the home stretch,” Jess repeated. “The D.N.C in Denver is less than a month and after that? The finish line won’t only be in sight, it’ll be more than just a speck on the horizon –it’ll be getting even easier to see with every stride. After Denver, Rory told me there’s an event in Philly in October and after Philly, we’re basically home free. Rory and I have been at this for over a year, Frenchie –we’re more anxious to fall into a boring couple routine than would be considered even remotely cool.”

Daniel sighed contentedly. “I really hope Lydia and I can love each other as strongly as you and Rory love each other.”

Jess smiled. “You already do, Frenchie –both of you. Trust me.”


	48. Chapter 48

On the evening of Sunday, August twenty-fourth Rory and Lydia arrived in Denver to cover the Democratic National Convention. As soon as they got in from Springfield Illinois, they caught wind of something that simultaneously thrilled their journalistic impulses and chilled them to the bone at the same time –Denver police had made arrests in connection to an alleged plot to assassinate Senator Obama. Information was barely twelve hours old and not officially confirmed, but inside a truck belonging to one of the suspects police found assault rifles, bipods, hunting scopes and silencers, wigs, fake IDs, camouflage clothing, walkie-talkies and bulletproof vests.

The girls immediately started perusing the story –chasing down leads and trying to get reliable confirmation from trustworthy sources. What they lacked in veteran experience they made up for with unparalleled aplomb, tenacity and focus. Together, Lydia and Rory had an opportunity to break this story and they were stronger and more credible working as a team.

They had separate rooms –Daniel and Jess were arriving the next morning to be with them until the end of the week- but until the boys arrived, Lydia and Rory hunkered down together and poured over the facts, pooling their resources and connections, working tirelessly to get something solid. Their bosses knew what they were doing and contributed what little they could, calling in favours and cashing in their tickets of seniority to give their reporters a running start on a story that everyone would be chasing as soon as it trickled down the grapevine. The girls were already facing stiff competition, where the race for confirmation was concerned. They all but forgot about the convention taking place in four days’ time.

“They found meth in the guy’s truck too,” Rory said.

“You think that might negate the rest of the stuff?” Lydia asked. “Like they might not take all this seriously if it comes out that they’re all meth addicts?”

“Meth addict or not, hatching a plan to assassinate the first African-American nominee for president is hatching a plan to assassinate the first African-American nominee for president. _Especially_ considering he’s the favourite and the frontrunner and everyone knows it.”

“True enough. God, you always hear about this stuff and you know there are tons of foiled assassination plots on presidents and candidates, but suddenly to be in it –for you and I to be actively chasing the story is –”

“Terrifying and exhilarating in equal parts…”

“Seriously. It sounds horribly sheltered and clichéd, but when I took this job I had no idea I was signing up for –”

“This.”

“Yeah,” Lydia sighed.

“Me either,” Rory agreed. “Would you trade it?”

“Not for the world.”

“I’m with you, Anne Shirley. I do enjoy being deliciously scared.”

Lydia laughed. “That nickname’s never going away, is it?”

“Nope. Never.”

“Daniel and Jess aren’t going to like that we’re trying to take the lead on this.”

“Probably not. I don’t blame them, objectively. But they understand our jobs –”

“Reporting on a presidential campaign and trying to crack an assassination plot wide open are not the same thing, Rory.”

“True. But it’s a good thing. We’re loved. They’ll be coming from a place of wanting to protect us. It’s a good.”

“I know, I just –”

“Lydia, they won’t want us to actually stop doing our jobs. They just won’t be crazy about the nature of the story, that’s all. Do you want to stop? No one is making us peruse this so hard –we can stop.”

“No! I don’t want to stop,” Lydia said quickly.

“Me either,” Rory smiled.

* * *

“Lydia, I don’t like you poking around in this.”

“Daniel, I’m not ‘poking around’. Rory and I are trying to crack this story.”

“I know, but it’s just –they had assault rifles. Forgive me for not wanting you anywhere near this; it has nothing to do with your ability as a reporter and I don’t all the sudden want you filing your nails behind a receptionist’s desk –but they had assault rifles, Lydia,” Daniel sighed. “I just found you. I just started loving you…”

“Stop it,” Lydia said softly, holding his face in her hands.

“What?”  
             
“Stop talking like you’re going to lose me. I’m not vying for an unsupervised jailhouse interview. Everyone involved in this is in custody. Rory and I are going to talk to a U.S. Attorney. He could talk to _literally_ anyone he wants and he agreed to sit down with _us_ –two wide-eyed twenty-somethings who are just starting out, do you have any idea how huge this is? No one’s going to hunt me down.”

“You don’t know that,” Daniel whispered, feeling his cheeks blush against Lydia’s hands. “And yeah, I do.”

“Stop assuming that someone will. This is my job, Daniel. You seem to be forgetting that this love thing is a two way street. It’s new and wonderful and I’m in no hurry to do anything that would put a stop to it. Nothing is going to happen to me. I have to do my job. This is huge. If Rory and I break this story first, it could mean –God, I don’t even know. I _have to_ do this Daniel. Rory and I have to do this.”

“I know.”

“I love you.”

“I knew that too,” Daniel smiled, leaning his forehead against Lydia’s. “Carrots.”

Lydia smiled and caught his lips in a gentle kiss.

“You do realize that sooner or later, I’m whisking you back to Ottawa; you can report on politics all you want in our own backyard where there are hardly any assassination plots.”

“Sounds like a fair deal to me. But in the meantime, this is where we are and this is the story. I have to see this through.”

“I know. I love you and I’m worried –don’t expect me to not be for as long as this lasts, but I’d never actually ask you to pass up the opportunity to get out in front of this. I know what this means to you and to Rory and your careers.”

“I know you do; I know you’d never hold me back. It’s one of the many reasons I love you so much.”

* * *

“Say something, Jess!”

Jess sat speechless after Rory finished recounting all of the developments she and Lydia had uncovered in connection to the arrests and the men in custody. “I... I –I’m not sure that I can formulate what to say quite that fast. You might need to give me a sec.”

“You must be thinking _something_ ,” Rory pressed, hardly able to contain her enthusiasm.

“Oh, I’m having definite thoughts –I’m just not sure you’ll want to hear them, that’s all.”

“What do you mean?”

“Rory –believe me, I understand the hugeness of this and I know exactly what you and Lydia are on the verge of and it’s –it’s amazing. I know who you are, I know what your job is and what that means and if I was gonna be Cold Feet Guy it would’ve happened a long time ago but this –Rory, this was an assassination plot. Even if it was a plot full of holes hatched by a bunch of meth addicts, they had guns –assault rifles, silencers, bulletproof vests. I don’t like the idea of you being anywhere near this. I don’t not support you; it’s not like I want you to be popping bubblegum behind an assignment desk for your whole career. I know you need to chase this, I do –and a big part of me wants you and Lydia to have a massive by-line to frame and tell our grandkids about- but an equally big part of me _hates_ that you need to chase this,” Jess sighed heavily. “I hope that doesn’t make me a prick.”

“Jess,” Rory whispered. “You’re not a –I get it. I understand. But nothing is going to happen to us.”

“You don’t know that, Ror.”

“We’re not being targeted here. Lydia and I, we’re just –”

“Writing the story? I know. But people who do this –people who plan what these guys were planning- they’re sick, not right in the head. Yesterday, Obama was the target and by tomorrow night it could be the two beautiful innocent reporters prepping to break this massive story to the press.”

Rory grabbed Jess’ hands and held them tight. “Lydia and I got a sit down with a U.S. Attorney. The guys who hatched this thing are locked away and not getting out any time soon. I know this is an entirely different situation than reporting on a presidential campaign, Jess. If you think I’m not slightly terrified of this myself, you’re not listening to my voice well enough. This guy that we’re talking to tomorrow –he could talk to any member of the American press that he wants, but by some weird stroke of fate, he agreed to talk to us. We’ll be safe. Lydia and I have to do this.”

“I know you do. You’re badass and I love you, but that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to also hate it. I’m in love with you, you’re my life –there’s no such thing as minimum safe distance between the woman I love and a story involving multiple armed assault rifles.”

“Totally fair.”

“Until this story is in the bag and we’re not in Denver and I know you’re safe, I hate your job,” Jess whispered against Rory’s skin.

“I don’t blame you,” Rory said against Jess’ lips, silencing further protestations of worry with a deep kiss.

* * *

“Any words of wisdom on how to deal with this?” Daniel asked Jess the next morning; the guys had nothing to do but sit and wait and worry until Lydia and Rory came back from their big sit down with the U.S. Attorney.

Jess sighed heavily. “I got nothin’ for you, man. The woman I love working tirelessly to break a story about a foiled assassination plot –that’s a new one. I have no wisdom. I’m a wreck, just like you.”

“If there’s any bright side to this, our girlfriends are hard-core,” Daniel grinned proudly.

“They totally are. The other bright side here is that they have each other, Frenchie. I don’t like them chasing this story at all even though I understand why they have to –when it comes right down to it, it’s safer for them to do this together. Two hardcore, dedicated reporters are better than one.”

“Yeah. Jess –they’ll be fine, right?”

“They’ll be fine,” Jess paused, “though it does feel a bit like we’re watching our girlfriends play out some intense plot twist on _The West Wing_.”

“ _The West Wing_?” Daniel asked. “How is it like –?”

“Press Secretary C.J. Cregg controlling hoards of reporters chomping at the bit to get a story and Danny Concannon, the Washington Post correspondent who was way too good at his job and had a beat on all the biggest stories before anyone else.”

“Right! It was always ‘You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours,’ with those two. It was a good thing they were in love… So, but then if that’s the situation, which one is C.J. Cregg and which one is Danny Concannon?”

“Lydia’s the redhead. Concannon was an aging ginger. Your girlfriend’s Danny,” Jess chuckled.

Daniel rolled his eyes. “Awesome. Thanks for that.”

“Don’t scoff! Concannon kicked ass. It’s a compliment.”

“Yeah, he did, didn’t he?”

“All the time. Him and Cregg made quite the team.”

“The two of them working together were unstoppable.”

“That they were.”

“Unless they were fighting.”

“But when they weren’t? Unstoppable. Ror and Lydia are Cregg and Concannon at their unstoppable best.”

“That doesn’t do anything to ease _my_ mind, though, Jess.”

“Mine either. But hey –Rory and Lydia have each other, and you and me –we’ve got each other. At least we can freak out together. Think of how much worse this would be if one of the girls were doing this alone and we were panicking alone.”

“That’s almost –sweet. I’m supposed to be the nice one you know,” Daniel winked.

“Don’t get used to it,” Jess said quietly. “I’m not vying for your Mister Congeniality crown, don’t worry.”

After what seemed like an eternity, Jess and Daniel jumped to their feet at the sound of the hotel room door opening. When Rory and Lydia walked across the threshold and saw both men standing tensely, they let the door close with a slam and closed the distance in quick, long strides.

Jess and Daniel only let themselves breathe when they had their arms wound tightly around Rory and Lydia. Jess and Rory were more accustomed to emotional reunions and embraces than Daniel and Lydia were; Daniel had to concentrate on making sure he didn’t tremble as he hugged Lydia –he was supposed to be the strong one. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out, so he simply buried his face in her hair and breathed her in.

“I’m okay, Daniel,” Lydia whispered against him.

“Are you done hunting leads now? Can you just write the story?” Daniel asked quietly.

“Yeah, we can.”

“I love you, Lydia. At the risk of sounding –try not to do stories like this too often, okay?”

“I’ll try,” Lydia smiled. “I love you too, Daniel.”

“Ror,” Jess breathed, tightening his arms around Rory.

“Jess, we got what we need.”

“No more detective work?”

“No more detective work,” Rory said softly.

Jess leaned back and pressed his forehead against Rory’s. “Anytime you do a story that is remotely dangerous, I’m going to react exactly like this –to hell with being a tough guy. I know stories like this need to be written, but I’m never going to be okay with you being in harm’s way.”

“I love you, Jess.”

“I know. I love you too, Rory.”

“So, wait,” Rory said, “were you and Daniel sitting here this whole time, sweating bullets together?”

Jess chuckled dryly. “Today’s the wrong day to use that expression.”

“Sorry, but… were you?”

Jess nodded.

Lydia stifled a tiny laugh and held Daniel’s gaze. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, of course. What, you think we were each gonna wait this out alone?” Daniel asked.

“That’s so cute!”

“Hey, we weren’t like, holding each other or anything. Calm that imagination of yours, Miss Shirley,” Jess interjected.

“Lydia’s right,” Rory said. “The image of you and Daniel sitting together, worrying about us –it does evoke a certain amount of cuteness. Manly cuteness, but still.”

“Would you still think it was cute if Jess concluded that you were Danny Concannon?” Daniel asked Lydia.

“From _The West Wing_?” Lydia asked. “Why am I Danny Concannon?”

“The red hair.”

“Right, of course.”

“If Lydia’s Danny Concannon, then who am I?” Rory asked. “Concannon was the reporter…”

“You, my dear, are C.J. Cregg,” Jess smirked.

“I’ll take it.”

“So, I’m guessing that now that the detective work is done, said story still needs to be written, huh?” Jess asked with a sigh.

“Yeah. But with Lydia and I working together, it shouldn’t take long. Are you guys good to keep each other company for a few hours while we hammer it out?”

“We’ll only be in the room right next door,” Lydia said when she saw Daniel’s jaw clench reflexively.

“We’ll be okay,” Daniel sighed, kissing Lydia softly.

“Hurry up and write it and come back to us,” Jess whispered to Rory.

“You do know we still have a D.N.C. to report on too, right?” Rory asked with a laugh.

“Yeah, and after what you and Lydia have gone through to be the first ones to report an assassination plot, he better win that damn nomination,” Jess said.

* * *

Rory and Lydia received the shock of their lives when, by Tuesday evening –mere hours after confirming that the F.B.I. was investigating the incident as an alleged plan to assassinate Senator Obama and incite mass hysteria- the story went up on the girls’ respective news sites and was promptly picked up by none other than The New York Times. The Times even went so far as to run it prominently as a lead story on their homepage. By nine o’clock that night, both Lydia and Rory received separate personal calls from the managing editor, seeking their permission to run the full story in hard copy on the front page of the morning edition.

By the end of the night as she and Jess lay in bed, Rory was still speechless. “The New York Times,” she kept saying in disbelief, “Lydia and I are getting a byline in The _New York Times_!”

“It’s fantastic, Rory,” Jess smiled. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, Jess.”

“I was scared for you today Ror –really scared. Daniel and I waited together because being alone would’ve been unbearable,” he whispered quietly.

Rory massaged Jess’ scalp and turned his chin so that she could look into his eyes. “I know. I love you. I’m so sorry I put you through that. I don’t like that my job has the potential to scare you like that –hell, I don’t like that it has the potential to scare _me_ like that.”

“Were you scared today?”

“The whole time.”

Jess sighed heavily and pulled Rory tightly against him. “It’s over now. You wrote a groundbreaking story and you’re getting a byline in the Times –you did that and you did it despite being scared. If scared Rory gets a byline in the Times –you work through your fear; you don’t let it stop you. I love that about you.”

“I certainly don’t want my entire career to be made up of stories like that. Not all the time.”

“It won’t be. You can shape your career however you want –you already are. As the guy who’s in love with you, I’m selfishly relieved that you don’t want your whole career to be built on stories like the one you submitted today. Does that also mean that you don’t want to trot the globe chasing dangerous stories either? What happened to wanting to be Christiane Amanpour?”

“I still idolize Christiane Amanpour and I still like the idea of getting to travel and report on all sorts of things. But I’m realizing I don’t want to _be_ Christiane Amanpour anymore. I just want to be Rory Gilmore –and maybe Rory Gilmore doesn’t spend most of her life living out of a suitcase. I like the idea of having a home to come to –a home that actually feels like a home because I spend enough time there for it to be a proper home. A home that has you in it.”

Jess kissed Rory softly. “I’m a fan of you wanting to be Rory Gilmore, because I kinda love her –a lot. I’m also blissfully comfortable with being part of your definition of home. You’re my home too, Ror.”

“I know,” Rory smiled contentedly. “Oh hey! That reminds me, can you start looking into apartments for me?”

“Apartments?”

“Yeah. It’s the end of August. The campaign will be over in November. If I want to move to Philadelphia the second this thing is done, I need a place to live. You know the city better than me and you can check places out, gather information for me.”

“I can definitely do that. What are you looking for?”

“I don’t know. Somewhere that’s big enough for you to move in eventually, when we’re ready. I don’t know where I’m working yet, so it makes sense to pinpoint the neighbourhood search around the one thing I do know…”

“And what’s that?”

“Where you are. I want to be within walking distance of Truncheon if I can, or a short drive. I’m willing to commute across the city for work if I have to, but I don’t want you being across the entire city.”

“I can work with that,” Jess smiled. “How are you going to afford it? You don’t know where you’re working yet, which puts budget up in the air.”

“Yeah I know, but I’m going to start putting out resumes soon and Hugo’s not firing me. I have a job with him for as long as I want. It’s not much, but it’ll be enough to get by for the first little while, if I can’t find a permanent fixture in the city right away. Plus, Lydia and I are talking about living together.”

“Lydia? Really?”

“Yeah. You’ve seen her and Daniel together –they’re definitely in it for the long haul, but they’re nowhere close to being ready to live together. Lydia and Daniel have talked about it –they want to be normal and boring, just like us; she’s planning on being based out of Philadelphia because that’s where Daniel is, for at least the next few years. If her and I live together, it’s kinda perfect. With any luck, when Lydia and Daniel are ready to live together, she can move out and you can move in.”

“You’ve really thought this through.”

“Of course I have. Did you think I was going to back out? Take some flashy job offer over living in the same city as you?” Rory asked softly.

“I don’t know. I kinda figured that if you got an amazing offer, even if that offer wasn’t in Philadelphia, you’d take it –and I’d be cool with that, we’d make it work. If we could make this work, we could make almost anything work. Philadelphia isn’t back country, but it isn’t exactly a booming reporter’s paradise.”

“Jess, you gave me the push I needed to put my career first when Hugo gave me this opportunity. When this campaign’s over, I’m putting you first –which is exactly the way it should be. I love you; I’m not willing to risk losing you to chase a larger than life career. I want both things –an amazing career and a life with you. I believe it is possible to have it all, but in order for that to happen it’s a give and take. There are times when I’ll have to put my career first, when I’ll want to, but there are also times when you, when _we_ need to come first. You stepped up big time when you pushed me to do this –you refused to do what so many others would have, you didn’t want me to take Providence to keep things idyllic and easy. When this is over, I get to be in Philadelphia with you; I get to watch you finish a duel degree and reach for the stars. That’s what I want –I want to support you the way you supported me. After that? We can conquer the world together. That’s the best part of now –not knowing what the future holds but knowing whatever it is, it’ll be you and me doing it together.”

“You’re amazing,” Jess said softly, feeling his eyes glaze over with tears. “I love you, so much more than you’ll ever realize.”

“Our story’s not over yet, Mariano,” Rory whispered. “I’m not about to leave this novel unfinished. The best part is that there are probably lots of surprises left –we’re nowhere near the end.”

“No, we’re certainly not.”


	49. Chapter 49

The girls had some time to themselves after Obama won the nomination in Denver; they were off until September sixth.

Lydia and Daniel took the opportunity to make a quick trip home to Ottawa to do the meet-the-parents thing before Daniel and Jess had to start a new academic year at Temple on September second. Because Daniel had come into Temple with more transfer credits than Jess, and with Jess doing a full course load through the summers, they were both in fact due to graduate with their Master's at the same time –in 2011, after four years instead of the traditional five.  
               
Rory and Jess split her time off between Stars Hollow and Philadelphia.  
             
News that Rory had a byline in the Times took off like wildfire –much to Taylor’s delight, it boosted tourism in Stars Hollow beyond his wildest dreams. Kirk was selling a whole series of commemorative tee shirts and Miss Patty staged a dramatic reenactment of Rory and Lydia’s big U.S. Attorney interview –Sookie was persuaded to play Lydia while Lulu played Rory. Sookie recounted the entire absurd tale for Rory and Jess when they got into town. Framed copies of Rory’s article in the Times were proudly displayed in the window of _every_ storefront and business in town.  
             
Whenever she wasn’t with her mom and Luke, Rory over at Lane’s. She was in awe of how the twins had grown and rendered speechless at witnessing the adorableness of Uncle Mess first hand. Jess played with Steve and Kwan, he sang to them, he fed them, he knew how to soothe them when they cried and took one of them off Lane’s hands if they were both fussy at once.  
             
“Stop looking at me like that,” he smirked at Rory when he caught her staring.  
             
“Sorry, it’s just –”  
             
“I know. Five years ago I hated everyone, now I’m good with babies. Trust me, its way weirder for me than it is for you.”  
             
“I keep asking him to babysit and he always refuses and then I remind him that he essentially does it anyways,” Lane laughed.  
             
“Number one, I’m not here _that_ much, Lane,” Jess chuckled.  
             
“True, but when you are, you’re a glorified babysitter Jess. You shouldn’t feel bad –being good with babies is totally rock and roll. If you don’t believe me, talk to Gil.”

“No thanks. Number two, you’re always here when I’m with the babies. If you think I’d ever actually let you leave me alone with them, you’re nuts. You have Zach –you had an opportunity to sucker me into babysitting when he was on tour and you didn’t, that ship has sailed.”

Rory, Jess, Lorelai and Luke made time to have dinner with Emily and Richard. Jess still couldn’t get over the weirdness of the fact that Emily and Richard didn’t answer the door at their own house. When a maid offered to take his jacket, Jess stifled a small laugh and politely declined, asking where the closet was, assuring her that he could put it away himself. With a trembling hand, the maid pointed to the closet and begged that he not tell Mrs. Gilmore that he hadn’t let her take his coat –she needed to keep her job.

“Christ, Ror –your grandmother puts the fear of God in these people,” he quipped.

“No, she doesn’t –God’s got nothing on the wrath of Emily Gilmore, mini-Sly,” Lorelai whispered, overhearing his comment.

After drinks, during which Jess was given the gears about not coming to see to see Emily and Richard before now, they sat down to dinner –Jess’ eyes went wide at the intricacy of the place setting. He’d never seen so many forks, spoons and knives laid out for a single meal before.

“This is a little ridiculous. Are we actually going to use all these?” Jess asked.

“If you know what’s good for you and you don’t want to incur the wrath of my grandma, you will,” Rory answered.

“Believe me, I don’t –I’ve grown out of my wrath-incurring phase, thank you very much. I’m in no hurry to revisit it, _ever_. Especially with your grandmother,” Jess whispered.

“I know it’s a more complicated place setting than most humans are used to but if you get confused about which cutlery goes with which course just start from the outside –”

“And work my way in. I know. I’ve seen _Titanic_ Ror, just like everyone else in the world. I’m very hip to Kathy Bates’ wisdom about fancy place settings. I’m just happy that there aren’t any raisons in the salad this time,” he winked.

Richard and Jess got into a pleasant conversation about how well his first year at Temple had gone and how happy he and Emily were that his car accident from the winter had not ended up being a much more serious matter.

Their silence around Thanksgiving and Christmas was in no way meant to be misconstrued as them not caring, Emily explained –they simply thought it best to leave Jess alone during that time so that he could be surrounded by loved ones while he focused on getting better rather than being concerned about putting on a brave face for his not-even grandparents-in-law, to whom he was not related and owed nothing –assuming that grandparents-in-law were even a thing. While in the not-too-distant past Emily’s comment about not owing them anything because they weren’t related might have been perceived –and even intended- as an insult, Jess knew the sentiment was genuine. Before thinking twice, he heard himself tell them that when the day came that he and Rory were ready to get married –while assuring them that that day was still _years_ off- he would gladly refer to them as grandparents-in-law given that he never had any grandparents as his own.

With sentimentality out of the way, conversation between Richard and Jess quickly turned to golf. Jess had grown close with Richard since his heart attack –it actually started with their heart-to-heart conversation at Truncheon a few days prior to his hospitalization that no one besides himself and Richard knew of, to this day- but he had a hard time not being so bored by golf talk that it could have lulled him into a very ill-timed nap. Jess snapped out of his daze when he heard Richard invite him to come to the club to play a few holes.

“Golf is a wonderfully relaxing sport Jess,” Richard said, “just a man, his clubs and a ball on a green. Nothing else compares to it.”

“That’s really nice of you to invite me, Richard, but I’m not sure golf is exactly my thing,” Jess replied politely.

“Have you ever played?”

“No, never tried it.”

"Well then –nonsense. How can you be sure if it’s ‘not your thing,’ if you’ve never played? You must come to the club with me.”

“Don’t do it,” Luke said to Jess as they drove back to Stars Hollow after dinner.

“Don’t do what?” Jess asked.  
             
“Play golf with Richard. Believe me, golf is a pretty innocuous sport, but not when you play it with Richard Gilmore. Over the course of one golf game, he’ll convince you to franchise Truncheon and formulate a new life ambition to become the next Stephen King of the literary world.”  
             
Jess laughed quietly. “That’s a little extreme, don’t you think, Uncle Luke? I mean yeah, golf is pretty yawn worthy and it’s not like I’d ever actually find it _fun_ –but it’s just golf. How bad could it possibly be –boredom notwithstanding?”

“Just golf,” Luke chuckled under his breath. “That’s exactly what he wants you to think.”

“Okay, but I remember you telling me about all that –Emily and Richard were trying to break you and Lorelai up, right? Emily and Richard, as much as I never thought I’d live to see the day where I knew it was genuinely true –they like me, Luke; they’re not interested in me and Rory breaking up… anymore,” Jess said, before resting his head against the window and letting out a deep breath.

“You okay, Dodger?” Rory asked, lacing her fingers between Jess’ and giving his hand a loving squeeze.  
             
“Yeah, it’s just fairly freaksome that your grandparents are onboard with me, nor do they want to lock you away in a tower when they hear casual mention of us spending our lives together. It’s the good kind of strange, but it’s strange as hell,” Jess chuckled breathlessly.

“You have a point there,” Rory agreed. “But so does Luke –even if the intentions aren’t to scare you away and even if there are no malicious ulterior motives whatsoever- golf with Grandpa is never _just_ golf with Grandpa,” she laughed.

“Great, ex-nay on the golf-say. Got it.”

* * *

Jess and Rory’s time in Philadelphia was blissful –Rory didn’t realize how much she’d missed all the Truncheon boys. Rory was inexplicably excited that she got to be in Philadelphia as Jess started his second year at Temple –her inner academia enthusiast couldn’t help but be more proud of her boyfriend’s college journey than she was even at her own.

Jess came home from his first day of American Lit with a mischievous smirk on his face.

“What’s so amusing Jess?”

“Guess what we’re reading in American Lit?”

“What?”

“Ginsberg – _Howl_ , to be exact.”

“No way!” Rory said excitedly. “That is so awesome. I like this class of yours.”

“Odds are, I’ll be writing my term paper on it –I mean we have other choices, but _come on_ , how can I not?” Jess laughed.

Rory rolled her eyes. “Way to challenge yourself, Mariano.” After some thought, she looked at him with a mischievous grin of her own. “You know what _would_ be challenging? And fun? And _sexy_?”

Jess closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her. “What would that be?”

“We got each other the same book for our anniversary this year –we gifted each other with _erotic Howl_ …”

“We did.”

“So, wouldn’t it be fun –if you’re writing a term paper on Ginsberg’s _Howl_ for American Lit- if we wrote our own term papers? For each other, on dirty _Howl_?” Rory asked in a seductive whisper.

“As long as the grading is purely driven by a sex-based reward system,” Jess smirked.

“Of course.”

“Well, that’ll definitely keep things fun and interesting. It’ll get us through the last leg of the campaign, that’s for sure.”

“That it would. And hey, if we’re writing sex papers, that means we get to devise the said sex-based reward system we’ll be using to grade each other’s… work.”

“Sign me up. We can work on the rubric together, but reserve the right to come up with fun, unexpected bonuses. Rubrics in this case are working documents that can be changed at any time. We should come up with surprising twists for each other.”

“I’m with you,” Rory nodded. “But one more thing.”

“What?” Jess asked.

“Your American Lit class is one term. It runs from September to December, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So, our dirty _Howl_ papers are due to each other at the same time that your term ends.”

“But you’ll be moving to Philly a month before term ends…”

“Too bad. You’re studying American Lit and writing a term paper on _Howl_ that you’re handing in at the end of term before you break for Christmas; therefore, we will exchange, grade –and reward- each other’s papers on dirty, erotic _Howl_ at Christmas.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” Jess said against Rory’s skin, sucking on her neck softly. “But you have a deal.”

“Just make sure you don’t hand in the paper meant for me to your American Lit professor,” Rory giggled. “ _That_ would be a disaster.”

“I’ll make sure,” Jess said, leaning in so close to whisper in her ear that the heat from his breath gave her goose bumps, “you have no idea what kinds of ideas are _already_ swirling around in my head about grades and rewards. When I’m done with you, you’re hardly going to be able to walk.”

“I’m counting on it. What makes you think you’ll be able to walk?” Rory asked in a whisper before kissing Jess deeply.

* * *

On Friday October tenth Lydia and Rory arrived in Philadelphia to cover a rally for Obama the next day, where the newly minted Democratic presidential nominee would be speaking. The outdoor event was orchestrated to take place on Locust Street, no less. The rally was also on Saturday, which meant that Daniel and Jess could attend with Lydia and Rory and that the girls could spend the whole weekend –Friday morning to Sunday morning- in Philadelphia.

Jess had done some apartment hunting for Rory and he’d set up a few appointments for showings for both Rory and Lydia to go to. He was excited by the fact that Rory’s presence in Philadelphia that weekend was for so much more than just work –in a way, this weekend marked the very beginning of the next phase of their lives. Jess was just as invested in making sure that Lydia liked their prospective homes –Lydia was his friend and he wanted to do right by her. He set up viewings on Friday afternoon, as it was the only time they really had to accomplish this particular task. He’d found about half a dozen buildings that met the vague requirements the girls had and Jess was sure that between six buildings they were bound to find an available unit they both liked. Both Lydia and Rory were very aware of their time crunch and they were ready, willing, even hoping to sign a lease that weekend –they had less than a month before the campaign was over and they needed to have a place to live. Now was the only time they had to find it.

Daniel’s twenty-first birthday was that day as well. Jess had no idea that Daniel’s birthday was literally days after Rory’s. One thing was for sure –there’d be lots of celebrating, the girls weren’t _just_ in town for work. The necessity and the proper opportunity for the four of them to have a little fun together as friends was a welcome change.

“How did I not know your birthday was so close to Rory’s, Dani Boy?” Jess asked on Friday evening. They were sitting at the bar, waiting for the girls to arrive from a press meeting being held in advance of the rally the next day. Because Daniel was turning twenty-one and _finally_ able to drink in the land of the free, they started a little early.

“We barely knew each other at this time last year,” Daniel answered.

“That’s not true!”

“Fine, you were too busy explaining all the details of why you needed me to buy you a Canadian Mounty hat and then arguing with me over the merits of apple pie. It must have slipped my mind.”

Jess chuckled at the memory.

“Hey, look! It’s the woman I love! Hey, woman I love!” Daniel yelled when he saw Lydia walk in with Rory.

“Yeah, you know, I’m just going by Lydia now,” she answered with a laugh.

“I love you, Carrots.”

“I love you too, Daniel.”

“How was your meeting?”

“Good. Tomorrow’s rally should be a really great event. Hey Jess, how awesome is it that it’s on Locust Street?”

“Pretty awesome,” Jess smiled and slipped his arm around Rory’s waist. “What did you ladies think of the apartments you saw today? Any winners?”

Rory nodded, beaming. “We signed a lease!”

“You did? Which one? Where?”

“Hamilton Court, on Chestnut at 38th.”

Jess leaned in and kissed Rory deeply, tangling his fingers in her hair. “You’re moving here,” he said quietly, his cheeks hurting from smiling so widely. “You’re really moving here. Rory!”

Rory held Jess’ cheek in her palm. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Jess laughed as though he didn’t have a care in the world –because he didn’t. The love of his life was moving to Philadelphia in a matter of weeks –not years or months, but weeks- and he couldn’t remember ever being this happy before. He picked her up in his arms and twirled her around. “I love you, Rory Gilmore. Happy birthday.”

“My birthday was two days ago,” Rory giggled.

“I know, but you’re here now.”

“I love you too, Jess.”

“I love you three, Jess,” Lydia laughed. “The apartment we signed on today is beautiful. The building is perfect and the amenities are great –we even have central air. Two bedrooms for under nineteen fifty! It’s way cheaper for us, splitting the rent to live there together than to pay for a smaller one bedroom on our own in the same building. It’s still pricey but you can tell that’s a place where people live most of their lives, not just a few years –everything about it is amazing. How did you find that place?”

“I have my ways,” Jess smirked. “No magic tricks, though. I just pounded the pavement and did some hardcore research. Plus, I know Rory and what she likes, aesthetically and financially. Lucky for me, you two have similar tastes. Besides which, I was basically looking for an apartment for myself. I love that you two are going to be living together, but what’s yours now will be mine in a few years,” he winked.

“That’s why

“Well, thank you,” Lydia smiled, pulling him into a hug.

“No problem, Anne girl.”

“I can’t believe you’re moving here, Lydia,” Daniel said wistfully.

“I know. Are you excited?”

“Yeah. I want to have a nice, moderately boring life with you.”

“Me too. Moderately boring sounds good.”

“Jess, thanks for finding the woman I love a place to live,” Daniel said.

“No problem, buddy. Happy to help,” Jess laughed.

“Seriously, why is he having such a hard time calling me Lydia tonight? It’s his birthday, so how does that explain that he’s suddenly a bit of a simpleton?” Lydia asked with a laugh.

“It’s his twenty-first birthday, Lydia,” Jess explained. “Your boy here can finally get shmammered in the land of the free! He didn’t start hard, but he started early –he’s a little –”

“Shmammered?”

“Exactly. Evidently, Americans make more serious alcohol than whatever they have up in the great white North.”

“No they don’t,” Daniel interjected. “No you don’t. I’ve just had more…”

“And why shouldn’t you? Embrace it, Frenchie. You can drink _everywhere_ now, which means you should drink a little more tonight –because you can have more.”

“You seem to have all your wits about you, Jess,” Rory whispered.

“Yup, because Frenchie’s a few drinks ahead of me. He’s my friend Rory, my friend who’s only turning twenty-one just this once. What kind of friend would I be if I let him see the bottom of his glass?” Jess winked.

Lydia leaned in close. “How many has had, exactly?”

“He’ll be a little hung over in the morning, but nothing serious. He’s a little happy right now, that’s all; he’s not even slurring his words. I wasn’t gonna let him have many more –he’ll still be able to be at the rally tomorrow and be no worse for wear. You won’t have to help him hug the toilet, I promise. You’ll still have a good night,” Jess said quietly, with a smile. “Did you really think I’d let him get sloppy and put a damper on your whole weekend here?”

“Okay, good,” Lydia sighed. “But if you are at all wrong or off in your estimation, I’m breaking a slate over your head.”

“Trust me. If I’m wrong, I’ll happily go so far as to provide you with the slate.”

Lydia laughed as she and Jess shook on it.

“One more round –a round with our ladies and then everyone goes home happy,” Jess said, signaling the bartender. “It’s on me. Rory’s not paying for herself because it was her birthday two days ago and Daniel’s not paying for you, because it’s his birthday today and he’s shmammered. Between Rory’s birthday, Frenchie’s birthday and you guys signing a lease today, we have some celebrating to do. What’ll you have, Carrots?”

“You don’t get to call me –” Lydia started

“Oh relax, Daniel will call you Carrots later. Now, do want to show your boyfriend how Canadians can hold American liquor, or don’t you?”

“Rum and Coke –dark rum.”

Jess laughed. “She even knows how to drink like a boss. What do you want, Ror?”

Mmm I want something sugary… Singapore sling, please,” Rory smiled.

“Sure, but I’m ordering nachos too. Eat. Can’t have you waking up with a headache for the big event tomorrow. Plus, we’re gonna have some fun later that you’ll want to have energy and no headache for.”

“When have you ever had to tell me to eat?”

“Touché. Are nachos enough?”

“Lydia and I had dinner at the meeting, so yeah.”

“And by ‘dinner’ she means a salad, a main plate and dessert,” Lydia laughed. “Banquet food, but still… I’ll never get used to how this woman eats!”

“That’s my Ror, ever the marvel,” Jess smiled. “You want anything else, Lydia?”

“Has Daniel eaten enough to sop up some of that alcohol?”

“Of course I have,” Daniel insisted.

“Good. Forgive me for checking in with a trustworthy source. Have I said happy birthday since I walked in here?”

“No.”

“Happy birthday, my love,” Lydia smiled, kissing him full on the lips.

Jess cleared his throat when their drinks arrived. “A toast –to friends, to love, to birthdays and apartment leases and to the ass-kicking Senator from Chicago who brought us all together to form a very unlikely foursome. Next time we’re together like this, raising a glass, may it be to Rory and Lydia’s new home _and_ our new ass-kicking president. Thank you for your big dreams, Obama –you make Americans proud to be American and you saw to it that two beautiful Canadians found each other. Oh, Canada!”


	50. Chapter 50

“I got his gum!” Rory screamed into the phone.

“You got whose gum?” Jess asked, confused.

“Obama’s!”

“I’m sorry, you got his –how?”

“Before my one-on-one with him, he was chewing –”

“Your _what_? Way to bury the lead, Ror. Are you serious? Did you tell your mom and Luke? What about Lane?”

“Yeah; the whole town is freaking –people aren’t going to have windows left to look out of, they’re so busy plastering my stories up.”

“Paris?”

“Is _so_ jealous. Doyle can’t even talk her down. He says he misses the good old days, when she broke up with him.”

“Your grandparents?”

“Couldn’t be prouder. The story’ll be up by the time you get here. Can I get back to the gum now?” Rory asked.

“Sorry,” Jess laughed. “You were saying?”

“Before our sit down, he was chewing gum and he needed to spit it out before the interview started, but he didn’t have a tissue –”

“But you did.”

“But I did. I have his gum!”

“You kept a wadded up tissue with gum in it?”

“Of course.”

“Part of me is grossed out but –”

“The other part…?”

"Knows exactly why you kept that tissue; I would do the same thing,” Jess laughed again. “This isn’t just any gum, this is gum with presidential DNA; the forty-fourth President and the first African-American to be elected to the highest office in the land.”

“Precisely my thinking. I’m gum buddies with the President!” Rory squealed.

“Yes, you are,” Jess said, sighing deeply and closing his eyes. “Hey, Ror?”

“What?”

“We made it, sweet girl,” he whispered.

“Yeah, we did. I love you Jess. It sucks that you’re not here. Grant Park is gonna be –”

“I love you too and you know I wish I could’ve swung it –but with finals coming, there was no way. The guys and I and Daniel are going to wander up and down Locust and through downtown –should be quite the scene, I’m looking forward to it, actually, witnessing the joyful fruits of Obama’s mission to unify this great country of ours. But I’ll be with you in a few days and we get one more weekend in Chicago. The perfect way to close this chapter if you ask me, in the city that was so good to us this summer.”

“That reminds me, I have a surprise for you,” Rory teased.

“You do?”

“I do, but I’m telling you _nothing_ , so even your best tricks cannot get it out of me. When Lydia and I pick you and Daniel up at the airport on Friday, all will be revealed.”

“Rory –we won’t have to say goodbye. At the end of the weekend, you’ll be leaving Chicago _with_ me and coming to Philadelphia –to stay,” Jess said quietly. “Our days of emotional goodbyes and long distance are over.”

“I’ll be coming home,” Rory smiled into the receiver. “I know Lydia and I have another three weeks before we officially take possession, but we did luck out in that they’re willing to give us the keys mid-month because the apartment is unoccupied –which will definitely make the moving in process easier because we can do it in stages. But I’m coming _home_. I’m excited to spend some time in Stars Hollow before –”

“It’ll be great for you Ror. I’m so glad that taking possession worked out that way –allowing you to spend quality time with your mom and Luke and Lane and your grandparents. They’ve missed you so much. I know it’s important to you, spending as much time with everyone as you can before you move to Philadelphia, as well it should be. I myself am excited to spend some time with the non-crazy minority of Stars Hollow, helping you get stuff ready for your move.”

“Non-crazy being…”

“Luke, your mom, Lane, the babies and small doses of Sookie and Liz. That’s pretty much it,” Jess chuckled. “And it’ll be nice to see your grandparents again –my God, hell really has frozen over.”

“Jess?”

“Yeah?”

“We really made it,” Rory whispered. “I love you so much.”

“Yeah, we really did,” Jess said softly. “I love you too, Rory –now more than ever.”

It was November fourth 2008; Barack Obama had just made history by becoming the first African-American to be elected President of the United States. In a matter of moments he would deliver a victory speech to thousands of supporters in Chicago’s Grant Park –a crowd that would be screaming and cheering as if they were awaiting Jimmy Hendrix, Janis Joplin or The Beatles rather than the President-elect.

* * *

“ _I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn’t start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington –it began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston._

_“_ _It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give five dollars and ten dollars and twenty dollars to this cause. It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation’s apathy; who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep; from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on the doors of perfect strangers; from the millions of Americans who volunteered, and organized, and proved that more than two centuries later, a government of the people, by the people and for the people has not perished from this Earth. This is your victory._

_“_ _I know you didn’t do this just to win an election and I know you didn’t do it for me. You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime –two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century. Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us. There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after their children fall asleep and wonder how they’ll make the mortgage, or pay their doctor’s bills, or save enough for college. There is new energy to harness and new jobs to be created, new schools to build and threats to meet and alliances to repair._

_“_ _The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America –I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you –we as a people will get there._ __  
  
“ _There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won’t agree with every decision or policy I make as President, and we know that government can’t solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way it’s been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years –block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand._ __  
  
“ _What began twenty-one months ago in the depths of winter must not end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek –it is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It cannot happen without you._ __  
  
“ _So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism; of service and responsibility where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves, but each other. Let us remember that if this financial crisis taught us anything, it’s that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers –in this country, we rise or fall as one nation; as one people._ __  
  
“ _Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House –a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, ‘We are not enemies, but friends... though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.’ And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn –I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.”_  


* * *

“Is there usually celebrating in the street like this when election results are revealed?” Daniel asked as he wandered through the streets of downtown Philadelphia with Jess and the rest of the guys from Truncheon.

“Not in recent memory,” Jess chuckled. “I mean sure, people celebrate –”

“But nothing like this,” Chris said.

“You picked a good place to be Jess,” Matt said.

“Come again?” Jess asked.

“Well, I know it sucks that you’re not in Chicago right now, but if you had to be anywhere else… Pennsylvania went a huge way in helping Obama win this thing. It’s a good runner-up location to bask in the glow of his victory.”

“Yeah, it is. God it’s crazy out here. This is unreal,” Jess said, looking around in disbelief.

“What about you Daniel?” Andrew asked. “Do people dance in the streets after your elections? What do you have up there, a –?”

“A Prime Minister,” Daniel answered. “And no, no one dances in the streets for Stephen Harper. Maybe with the next election –but as long as he’s living at twenty-four Sussex, there’s no dancing.”

“Well, when’s your next election?”

“We don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? How can you not know?” Joe asked.

“We don’t have set terms for the Prime Minister like there are for the President. An election in Canada can be called at any time, not necessarily after a four year term –it could be before the four year mark, it could be after. I mean usually it works out to be every four years or so, but like I said, we don’t have term limits, so if a political party has the same leader for a long time, that leader can stay in power or run to keep his power time and time again –no one’s ousted after two terms.”

“That seems weird.”

“It’s not weird, but it does get tricky if you disagree with the party in power. Change in leadership can get convoluted. The same way things get convoluted here, really –the same, but, different. Plus, we don’t vote for the Prime Minister directly.”

“I don’t understand. Then who do you vote for?” Chris asked.

“Local members of parliament. Votes are counted towards the party that the member of parliament belongs to. The leader of whatever party wins the majority becomes Prime Minister.”

“So there’s no love for this Harper dude?” Matt asked.

“Not much,” Daniel chuckled.

“And you have no idea how long you’re stuck with him?”

“Nope.”

“Maybe you should become an American, Frenchie. After all, hope is dawning on our great land. People are dancing in the streets –literally!” Jess smiled.

“Maybe I should. Wanna dance, Jess?” Daniel winked.

“I don’t dance. Besides, you’re not really my type.”

“You’re not mine either, but Rory and Lydia aren’t here and all we have is each other.”

“I’ll pass.”

“You’re no fun.”

“I’ll dance with you, Daniel,” Matt said, taking his hand.

“Andrew, shall we?” Joe asked.

“Yes, let’s,” Andrew said.

“May I cut in?” Chris said to Daniel, putting a gentle hand on Matt’s shoulder. “I’ve always wanted to dance with a Frenchman.”

Jess watched his friends dancing and twirling playfully around him and he couldn’t help but laugh. “You guys are disturbingly graceful, did you know that?”

* * *

“How are you affording this, Ror?” Jess asked.

“The same way you did. Are you forgetting how good I am at scrimping?” Rory smiled.

“No, I haven’t forgotten at all.”

“I just thought it’d be nice if we closed out this crazy chapter of our lives here. After all, this was the site of our best date ever and where you seriously outdid yourself.”

“That it is,” Jess laughed. They stood together in room five ninety-six of Chicago’s Ritz Carlton. “How did you get a room at the Ritz? Now? How did you get _this_ room, no less?”

“I may have booked it way in advance of us making this plan –you know, just in case.”

“I’m sorry I missed Grant Park,” he said softly.

“Me too. It was unbelievable. It was the most amazing thing,” Rory said. “But Philadelphia was a good place to be. Pennsylvania was a clincher for Obama, without that he might not have won. I bet it was quite the scene. I hear there was dancing in the streets.”

“That there was. It was quite the spectacle.”

“I also have it on good authority that you didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?”

“Dance in the streets.”

“You heard about the dancing?”

“I did.”

“From who?”

“All of them. They all took turns laughing at you for being such a spoiled sport. And apparently very sensitive, lest your dancing not measure up,” Rory laughed.

“I’m whacking them all upside the head when we get home,” Jess sighed.

“Say it again, Jess,” Rory whispered, hugging him tighter and pressing her forehead against his.

Jess’ lips curled up into a beautiful crooked smile. “When we get home,” he breathed.

“When we get home,” Rory repeated.

“For the record…”

“Hm?”

“You’re the only person I care about dancing with –no one else. Rory, what you’ve done here, reporting on this campaign –you’re amazing. I love you so much and I’m so proud of you,” Jess whispered, holding her face gently. “I can’t believe we got here, you’re moving to Philadelphia. We get to be _boring_ –and see each other all the time.”

“If you hadn’t pushed me and supported me, I might not have done it, so _thank you_.”

“It was pretty selfless of me, wasn’t it?” he mused. “You should probably thank me _a lot_. Like, all night.”

Rory laughed. “As long as I’m not working alone.”

“Never.”

“You might get sick of me.”

“What?”

“It might be downright weird, for things to be so easy for us.”

“Maybe, but it’ll be the best kind of weird.”

“You might get sick of me –seeing me all the time.”

“Again I say –never. Do you feel okay Rory, about moving?” Jess asked gently.

“I feel better than okay, Jess. This is what’s next for us. I’m ready; I’ve been ready for a while,” Rory assured him.

Jess held Rory close and smirked against her skin, chuckling softly before capturing her lips in a deep kiss. He hadn’t been intending to, but as their tongues tangled together and they breathed each other in, his hands fisted her hair greedily and started pulling hard. He tilted her head sharply enough to make her gasp as he moved his lips to suck on her neck.

Rory pushed back against him until he was forced to start stumbling backwards. When Jess’ legs hit the bed, she grabbed his shirt in both fists and dragged her lips across his face. “Take your pants off,” she whispered.

“You too,” Jess said, fiddling with her pants with one hand while divesting himself of his own with the other. “Christ,” he breathed when he saw what she was wearing.

Rory giggled as she finished pulling her shirt over her head and kicking her pants aside. “We’re bookending this campaign with sex in the exact same hotel room we were in back in July –did you really think I’d be wearing something else?”

Jess raked his eyes greedily across Rory’s body, growing impossibly hard at the sight of her. “I hoped you wouldn’t be.”

“You still can’t rip them,” she warned.

“I would never… but just to be safe, I’ll let you take the underwear off yourself,” Jess whispered with a smile, kissing her slowly as he sat down on the bed and pulled Rory with him.

Rory removed her panties and Jess’ boxers before he was able to sit down fully. His shirt was the last thing to go. When she moved her hands to unclasp her bra, he stopped her and held her wrists firmly as he swept his tongue into her mouth once more and pulled her back into his lap.

When the kiss broke, Rory showered hot kisses down Jess’ neck and licked the hollow of his throat before swirling her tongue around his nipples, pulling one softly between her teeth.

“Down, girl,” he said playfully.

She smiled against his skin and laughed quietly before lowering herself onto him and taking him all in.

“Fuck,” Jess cursed.

“You were saying?” Rory asked teasingly.

Jess sat up slightly, rendering Rory breathless as she realized he was not filling her as fully as she thought. Laughing softly, Jess unclasped Rory’s bra, pulled it away and threw it in the corner. As he started to thrust, he lowered his head against her breast and caught a nipple between his teeth and bit down –harder than she was expecting.

“Ah, Jess,” she whimpered.

“Be careful, two can play,” he said breathlessly, moving his hands to grasp her hips.

“Tighter –grip me tighter.”

“God I love you,” he whispered as he gripped her more forcefully, controlling the rhythm with which she rode him.

“Jess,” Rory panted, running her fingers roughly through his short hair and beard, “I love you.” She started to feel that ever-elusive tickle, and so she chased it.

As Rory picked up her pace, she tightened her legs on either side of Jess’ hips –almost painfully. Jess encouraged it all, digging his fingers harder into her flesh and forcing her back and forth faster, sharper. Capturing her lips in a kiss, they cried loudly into each other’s mouths as they both came.

“Just think,” Jess said with a deep sigh as Rory curled up into his side, “now we can do that _every day_.”

“Yes please,” Rory giggled. “I love you, Jess,” she said sincerely.

“More than anything,” he whispered. “I love you more than… anything.”

* * *

The rest of November was a busy, blissful blur. After leaving Chicago, Rory went home to Stars Hollow to recharge her batteries, pack her things and catch up with the town.    

Mid-month, she met Lydia in Philadelphia to get their keys –the rental office agreed to give them over early seeing that the unit they were moving into was already empty- and the boys were enlisted to help with the moving.

Rory brought Lydia back with her to Stars Hollow for a few days and Lorelai gleefully told Lydia about Daniel being ‘the Chip and Dale guy,’; Lorelai also concluded that Lydia was the most adorable human she’d ever met –who wasn’t also the fruit of her loins- and decreed that she was more than worthy of Daniel.

Jess and Daniel pooled a little bit of extra money to get the girls a gift card to Ikea to help them furnish their apartment. Once keys were in hand, the boys spent every evening and weekend at the apartment putting together furniture and inventing new curse words when none of the instructions made sense. One day when Rory was in Stars Hollow and Lydia was in Ottawa, Jess tripped over one of the back panels to a tall, narrow DVD tower, cracking the wood.

 “Shit,” he cursed.

“Way to go, Tinker Bell,” Daniel laughed. “What are we gonna do now?”

“It’s only one section and the wood didn’t crack all the way through. We finish putting it together and we fill it with crap, that’s what we do. They’ll never know –guaranteed. I am not standing in line at Ikea to return this thing and bring another one back here that I have to build. I’ll murder someone.”

“I don’t blame you. Hell, I might start murdering people.”

“ _That_ I’d like to see,” Jess chuckled.

“I’ll give you your due Jess, this is a beautiful building,” Daniel said. “I might even look into one bedroom vacancies to move in next summer. I don’t really want to live in residence past my second year. My job as a sous chef will more than cover the rent.”

“You work as a sous chef? I thought you were only a line cook…”

“Well, technically –on paper I’m a line cook, but they give me a lot of sous chef responsibilities. The head chef kinda took me under his wing and he’s teaching me a lot of the intricacies of creating a fine dining experience that most line cooks never get to learn.

“I almost went to culinary school, the best one in Ontario actually –went through the interview process and cooked my best meal as a type of entrance exam to be let in, but I decided not to go. I wanted to study English Lit.”

“Wow, man. That’s amazing. So, if the English Lit thing doesn’t lead to a job you can probably go back to the culinary thing –skip the training by the sounds of it, even. The pay wouldn’t suck either.

“So –wait –Dani Boy, do you make –pretty food? Like the kind of food that people don’t want to eat because it’s basically art on a plate?”

“The prettiest,” Daniel winked. “One of these days Lydia and Rory are bound to want to cook for us –you’ve told me just how good Rory _isn’t_ with cooking and while I think Lydia can fare a little better, she’s not exactly at home in the kitchen. It won’t be long before you get to taste my cooking, when the inevitable saving-the-girls-from-burning-down-the-building happens.”

“Aw man it would be so great if you lived here,” Jess said earnestly. “The four of us living in the same building would be so awesome. Usually I’m less genuinely happy about the idea of my life becoming a sitcom –but this really would be great.”

“It does have a certain sitcomy vibe to it, doesn’t it?” Daniel laughed. “ _Friends, Will & Grace, The Big Bang Theory, Seinfeld –_all an abundance of examples of art imitating our life, our ideal lives imitating art.”

“I will happily have you as my Kramer, Frenchie,” Jess cackled. “Hey, how’s Lydia doing with the job search?”

“Great!” Daniel said excitedly. “She was hired by a mid-sized weekly. She’s really happy about it. What about Rory –how’s she doing?”

“Also great,” Jess smiled. “She got a job writing for the online sister publication of the _Philadelphia Inquirer.”_

“Wow, the _Inquirer_ is like, the only daily game in town, isn’t it?”

“It’s the biggest, most widely circulated paper. They told her that if she maintains such high quality pieces and work ethic, she’s pretty much guaranteed a promotion to become a full-time columnist with the daily, hardcopy _Inquirer_.”

“That’s amazing! Our women are hard-core,” Daniel said proudly.

“Yeah,” Jess agreed quietly and sincerely, “they really are.”

Rory landed a job with _Philly dot com_ , the online subsidiary of the _Philadelphia Inquirer_. If the calibre of her writing remained as high as her reports on the campaign, she was promised a promotion to the hardcopy _Inquirer_ within the year. They were very understanding of her continued commitment to Hugo until Obama’s inauguration and promised her leeway to honour her devotion to the assignment in order to see it through.

Lydia was hired with _The Public Record_ , a Philadelphia weekly with about forty thousand in circulation.

December first was official move in day; the official beginning of the next phase in their lives. Jess and Rory would be living in the same city, just a short commute away from each other by public transit, car or bike –permanently- for the first time in the nearly three years since the night Rory showed up at Truncheon, the night when Jess and Rory promised to stop running from each other –the night that changed everything. They both loved each other more than they thought to be possible and even though they didn’t jump right into living together, it was an amazing feeling to finally be in the same city; this was a big shift –a shift for the better, which had been a long time coming. If the campaign went on any longer, their relationship ran the risk of not being able to withstand the separation. Jess and Rory both knew there would be an adjustment period –not only to the drastic change in their relationship dynamic, but also to Rory adapting to life in a new city and starting a new job. They understood it wouldn’t be smooth sailing all the time; they knew that getting stuck in the odd rut was inevitable –but this was the most exciting time in their young lives. This was their long awaited calm after the storm.

For Daniel and Lydia it was also a new beginning –but in the sense it was the true beginning of their life as a couple –a _coupley_ couple who, unlike Jess and Rory, were making their first foray into finding normalcy of any kind. No more trying to get to know each other while being separated by the entire country. From now on, they had the luxury of taking things slow if they wanted –lots of movie nights, dinner dates, romantic strolls and curling up for a relaxing evening in. They knew beyond any doubt, despite the unconventional way in which it happened, that they were absolutely in love with each other –and now, for the first time, they could bask in that love and let it grow, spending time together the way normal couples do, cuddling and falling asleep together in front of the TV. Now they could _finally be_ a couple, in every sense of the word.

Lydia would be making a lot of similar adjustments to what Rory would be going through –adjusting to a new job and a new home. Lydia and Daniel were very much in love but they had to build a strong foundation in the midst of all of these big changes whereas Rory and Jess’ foundations had been built over the last two and a half years. It wouldn’t be easy and idyllic all the time, but the love that they had for each other was strong enough to see them through whatever bumps in the road might lie ahead.

For now though, the girls had to focus on the smaller things rather than the big things. They were each starting their new jobs on Thursday December forth, only two days after officially moving in. As excited as they were, they also understood that they were wading into unknown territory and they were anxious and nervous about what lay ahead.

It was the beginning of a new chapter, one in which –at long last- Jess and Rory didn’t have distance to contend with. It would be a luxury and a gift to fall into a quiet, domesticated routine and to be able to see each other nearly every day instead of just on weekends. This was something they’d been talking about and looking forward to for a long time –the simplest things were what they wanted most and it would be the little things that so many others took for granted that Rory and Jess would covet and cherish.

Now, rather than melding two separate lives, Jess and Rory could begin building one life together. Neither of them knew what the future held, but they couldn’t wait to find out. This was a long awaited beginning of a wonderful journey –life had more than a few surprises in store for them.


	51. Chapter 51

“I don’t know,” Rory sighed, holding her new iPhone in her hand, inspecting it from every angle. “I miss the old days, when Apple stuck to computers and MP3 players.”

“I’m more of a Luddite than you,” Jess laughed. “Shouldn’t that be my line?”

“You run your own business. If you want to maintain Ludditness, you can.”

“For now –until social media takes off and everyone wants to run their business through a Facebook page. When that day comes, me and the guys will have no choice but to cave just a little. Ror –you didn’t have to pay for a ridiculously expensive Smartphone that everyone wants; you got it for free from work. Enjoy the perks.”

It was a few days before Christmas. Rory and Lydia were settling into Philadelphia nicely. Lydia loved her job at _The Public Record_ and actually appreciated working at a smaller scale weekly rather than a larger-than-life daily. Rory was already thriving at _Philly dot com_ ; she loved having a home that wasn’t a hotel room.

Jess and Daniel were basking in the glory of being able to see the girls all the time, every day –anyone who took such things for granted was clearly insane. A system was devised in which the guys were allowed to be there whenever they wanted. There were only two rules with all four of them under one roof so frequently –no loud sex and no venturing out of the bedroom in anything less than decidedly unskimpy pajamas; no one wanted to hear or see anything they weren’t supposed to.

On Rory’s first day at work, Jess went to her office at an obscenely early hour and explained who he was. Luckily no one thought he was crazy and he was able to sneak around to Rory’s desk and leave her a note in which he recalled the first instant he knew he loved her and exactly what he was thinking when she smiled at him the night they met. Jess quickly got into the habit of leaving her lots of little notes, each with a different memory from their past, detailing exactly what was going through his mind at the time –for the most part, he stuck to the first few years they knew each other, when he spent more time hurting her than making it clear that he loved her, even when he didn’t know how to show it. Some of his notes were incredibly sweet and others made Rory blush –but therein lay the fun, never knowing where or when she might find one, or what it would say.

Christmas in Stars Hollow was not nearly as quiet as Jess hoped it would be. The town went crazy with festivals all the time –add on top of that the fact that it was Christmas, Rory was permanently home from a career defining assignment in which she chronicled the rise of one unlikely Chicago Senator and saw him elected as President _and_ word had gotten around that she had his gum –things were much wackier than usual, and that was saying something.

Rory herself was panicking, because the coveted tissue with the Presidential gum seemed to have disappeared the day before they left Philadelphia; she opened her little memento box she kept it in to look at it –as she did a few times a week- to find it gone. They’d been in Stars Hollow for two days and it was now Christmas Eve –Rory was inconsolable, even through a joyous dinner with Lorelai, Luke and Jess at her grandparents, with apple tarts galore.

“Merry Christmas Lydia,” Rory said, trying to sound happy. “I miss you, roomie.”

“I miss you too, Rory. Are you having a good Christmas?”

“Yeah, it’s great to be home. The last time Christmas was a local affair and not rushed with me having to flit to the other end of the country for the campaign, it was a decidedly more tense affair –at least where my grandparents were concerned. I mean the rest of it –with Jess, my mom and Luke- was great, but it just wasn’t the same, with things being so strained with my grandparents.”

“Well, I’m glad things are better this time around.”

“Yeah, there were more than enough apple tarts to go around. It just isn’t Christmas without the apple tarts. It’s really nice that Jess genuinely gets along with my grandparents and they actually really like him now. Weird –but nice, the poor guy had to go through hell to earn their respect…” Rory trailed off with a sigh.

“Are you okay, Rory?” Lydia asked. “You sound glum; is it just a regular case of the holiday blues, or is it something else?”

“I can’t find the Obama gum. I keep it in a memento box in a drawer in my bedside table, I never move it –ever, that’s where it lives, safe and tucked away where nothing can happen to it. It’s only you and me living there and I know _you_ didn’t steal it or throw it out or anything. Jess would never either –and Daniel is never in my bedroom. Where could it be? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Rory, it’ll turn up, I promise. Everyone who knows you is aware of what it is, so there’s no way it got thrown out by you or anyone else. You probably just stashed it somewhere different after the last time you took it out to look at it and you’ve forgotten where you put it for safekeeping, that’s all,” Lydia assured her gently.

“You think so?”

“Absolutely. The tissue is not gone or lost, just stashed away in a place so secure that you momentarily forgot where you put it, that’s all. It’ll turn up, safe and unharmed, I promise.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Are you having a good Christmas?”

“I am. Despite how cold it gets, Ottawa’s beautiful at Christmastime –unless everything is literally buried in snow, then it’s a little less beautiful. But it’s great to be home with family and to split our time between Daniel’s family and mine,” Lydia said with a smile in her voice.

“You really love him, don’t you?” Rory asked with a smile of her own.

“Yeah, I do. I know it’s been less than a year, but I already love him in a forever kinda way.”

“Lydia, that’s so wonderful.”

“It’s nice, isn’t it?”

“Of course, you two are perfect for each other.”

“No –not me and Daniel and the forever love, which is incredibly wonderful- I meant it’s nice, to finally get to be normal with the people we love, to start building our lives together without any ridiculously extreme complications. We can just be two happy, normal couples in love. It’s nice to be able to have someone to come home to –you are the best roomie I could ever ask for and my love for you is very real, but –you know what I mean?” Lydia asked.

“Yeah, I do,” Rory smiled. “Having someone to come home to is the most amazing –I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

On Christmas morning, Luke, Lorelai, Rory and Jess sat by the Christmas tree, opening gifts. They were going to Liz and TJ’s for Christmas dinner –Luke was cooking. Rory and Jess had agreed weeks before not to get gifts for one another –Rory was living in Philadelphia and instances where they _couldn’t_ see each other every day were a rarity. It was everything they waited so long for. Neither of them wanted for anything.

So, Rory was slightly shocked when Jess handed her a gift –a midsized cube that was heavier than she was expecting. “What is this Jess?” she asked softly. “I thought we said no presents?”

“We did, but this is something special,” he smiled. “Open it.”

Rory tore the paper off to find the tissue holing Obama’s gum mounted in a commemorative case –similar to those that held antique or autographed baseballs. “This is,” Rory whispered, “I’ve been terrified for days that I lost this, and you –you had it…”

“Yeah, I did. Don’t kill her for helping me, but I had Lydia let me in the day before we all left when you weren’t home. She told me where I’d find it.”

On the inside bottom of the case, there was a tiny inscription: _Presidential gum, Presidential DNA. Obtained on November 4 th, 2008 –the day Rory Gilmore became gum buddies with President-elect Barack Obama._

Rory’s eyes glazed over with tears. “Part of me realizes, objectively, what a weird thing this is for you to do.”

“But the other part?” Jess asked softly, inching closer to her.

“Thank you, Jess,” Rory said quietly, “this is amazing.” When she leaned in to kiss him, the tears that had been pooling in her eyes finally spilled over. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Ror,” Jess grinned. “This way, it’ll always be safe.”

Rory felt a fresh lump rise in her throat and Jess kissed her deeply as her tears fell.

Luke and Lorelai became emotional as well, upon seeing what a thoughtful gift this was and witnessing such an overwhelmingly tender moment between them.

“So, what exactly did they say when you brought that into –wherever you brought it, explaining that you wanted a showcase for a used Kleenex?” Luke asked eventually, with a chuckle.

“They definitely thought I was _Cuckoo’s Nest_ material,” Jess laughed.

“Even when you told them what was in the Kleenex?” Lorelai asked.

“ _Especially_ when I told them what was in the Kleenex. I’m surprised there wasn’t a van and a straightjacket waiting for me when I left. Promise me, Ror, that you won’t give Lydia a hard time for helping me out.”

“I won’t,” Rory said quietly. “Did you enjoy watching me panic so much, knowing you knew exactly where it was all along?”

“Actually no, I felt kinda bad. But I knew the look on your face when you opened it would make it all worth it.”

Rory kissed him again. “I don’t have anything for you,” she whispered.

“Yeah you do,” Jess said quietly, stroking her cheek.

* * *

“Hey, are we still rewarding the dirty _Howl_ papers?” Rory asked at the end of the first week in January.

“Oh my God,” Jess said. “Would you believe I actually forgot?”

“You? Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“You forgot to write the paper?”

“No. It’s written and edited and password protected on my laptop –has been for weeks. I just forgot about the sex rewards part.”

“Again, I say –seriously?”

“Okay,” Jess chuckled. “In my defense –you’re _here_. You live in Philadelphia Ror, we’re like, no more than half an hour away from each other at all times. When we came up with that idea, we were tired, we missed each other, and we were having way less sex than we wanted. I forgot about the grading and reward system because you’re here and we can have sex whenever we want –and we do and I love it. I don’t even care that we’re like, the worst secret-keepers in the world about all the sex we’re having.”

“Me either,” Rory laughed. “Who needs the gym to stay fit? Sex is _so_ much more fun!”

“Here, here. And way cheaper, too. We needed something fun to keep us connected and keep the light at the end of the tunnel in sight for the last leg of the campaign. Writing dirty _Howl_ papers did that.”

“Yeah, that’s true. Secret? I forgot too. About the reward sex I mean, my paper’s totally done too.”

“See? You mock –it hurts. I still wanna read your paper though,” he winked.

“I wanna read yours too,” she smiled. “How did you do in your American Lit class?”

“A.”

“Your _Howl_ paper?”

“A plus.”

“Of course.” Rory’s phone rang. “It’s Hugo,” she said, handing Jess her plate, “I’ll be right back.”

“You want me to pause it?” Jess asked.

“No, it’s okay.”

“Suit yourself –you’re gonna miss Willem Dafoe’s famous, ‘There was a firefight!’”

“One, I’ve seen _Boondock Saints_ before and two, who needs pause when you re-enact it for me as soon as you know I’m going to miss it?” she pecked Jess’ lips quickly. “I’ll be back.”

“Gilmore!” Hugo said warmly when Rory picked up. “How’s Philadelphia treating you?”

“It’s great, Hugo,” Rory smiled.

“How’s the new job?”

“Still getting my bearings but –”

“You’re already kicking ass, aren’t you?”

“I’m –”

“You’re kicking ass. You’ve been doing great, keeping up your writing for me on top of all the new adjustments you’re making. You’re amazing, kid.”

“It’s no problem. You took a real chance on me, it’s the least I can do.”

“Nah, when I gave you Obama I knew exactly what I was doing. What I couldn’t have predicted was how far out of the park you’d knock it. How’s that boyfriend of yours?”

“Jess?”

“Unless you’re suddenly in love someone else –”

“He’s good,” she laughed.

“Must be nice, to finally have some normalcy huh?” Hugo asked.

“Yeah, it really is.”

“So, the inauguration is in a few weeks. You ready?”

“Yeah, it’s going to be really exciting to get to witness it. To be right there…”

“Do you think Jess would want to be right there too?”

“Excuse me?”

“I might be able to finagle an extra press pass,” Hugo explained.

“How?”

“I know a guy who knows a guy who had a pass, but has to back out.”

“Are you serious?”

“Would I joke about this? Or offer it if I couldn’t guarantee it? Rory, listen –I know what you and Jess survived while you were gone. I also know that you might not be half the reporter you are if he wasn’t supporting you. Plus, he’s about the most unselfish guy his age that I know. You guys made it through quite the storm. Just think of it as my way of saying thanks to him, for allowing you to be the reporter that you are. Tell him he’s a wise son of a bitch, making sure he didn’t lose you –you were both incredibly strong to be able to hold onto each other the way you did. That deserves to be celebrated.”

“Wow. Hugo –”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yeah –do you want to tell him?”

“Nah. Guy gets to stand on the sidelines of history with the woman he loves, he should hear it from the woman that he loves. Enjoy the rest of your night, Gilmore. We’ll talk soon.”

Rory walked back over to Jess’ tiny couch and plunked down next to him.

“Are you trying to catch flies?” he asked with a smirk, putting a gentle finger under her chin.

“Jess…”

“Rory…?”

“That was –”

“Hugo. How is he?”

“He’s good. He –he has an extra press pass to Obama’s inauguration on the twentieth.”

“No shit! How’d he score that?”

“He knows a guy who knows a guy who’s not going.”

“Hm. That doesn’t sound suspicious at all –”

“Jess –he’s giving it to you.”

“He’s _what_? Are you serious?”

Rory nodded. “He said you earned it, supporting me the way you did while I was reporting on the campaign. Said you were just about the most unselfish guy ever and that we were so strong, hanging onto each other –we deserve to celebrate.”

Now it was Jess’ mouth that was hanging open. “Wow –wow.” After a pause he added, “He said I was unselfish? If I gave him a list of people to talk to, do you think he’d swear by that publicly and assure people I didn’t pay him off?”

“We’re going to be at President Obama’s inauguration together,” Rory said quietly. “Jess!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him.

Jess hugged her silently, still at an utter loss for what to say. He just closed his eyes and basked in the moment, cradling the back of Rory’s head gently with one of his palms. “I love you,” he said finally.

“I love you too, Jess,” Rory whispered, close to tears.

“Leave me Hugo’s number. It’s Friday so I don’t want to bother him on the weekend. But I want to call him next week to say thanks.”

“I will.”

“Is Lydia covering it for her old boss? Or _The Public Record_? Given her history with the campaign, she’s gotta be covering it for one of them.”

“Her old boss.”  
              
“Wait, are we going to the ball too?”

“No. I mean, it’s not required. I’d rather spend a quiet night in with you in D.C.,” Rory smiled.

“I’m all for a night in, but I’m hoping the ‘quiet’ aspect is negotiable,” Jess winked.

* * *

Jess couldn’t believe he was on Capitol Hill, about to witness Obama’s inauguration in person. It was surreal and wonderful and awe-inspiring –as was Rory, dutifully prepared to document history being made. Jess was positively overwhelmed.

When they arrived and Rory was staking out her spot in the press area, mere feet from the main stage, Jess tried to shrink back, content to observe from the back of this prime location, given that he wasn’t a legitimate reporter. As he started to back away from the front lines, Rory took his hand gently and stopped him.

“Don’t you dare,” she said softly.

“Rory, this is your moment, not mine. You’ve earned this exclusive standpoint –I’m thrilled to be here, but I’m here through a combination of dumb luck and Hugo’s freakish generosity,” Jess said quietly. “I’m cool to hang back, really. Just do your thing –this is the culmination of something huge for you –take your moment, Rory.”

Rory continued to hold his hand firmly. “Yes, I’m here because it’s my job –I reported on Obama’s campaign and this is the amazing culmination of that assignment. But Jess, don’t you understand?” she whispered. “Without you, I might not be here. If you didn’t support me wholeheartedly; if you hadn’t encouraged me, pushed me to take this job and refused to stop loving me for it –this moment is just as much yours as it is mine. This moment belongs to you too, Jess –it’s not just mine; it’s ours. I couldn’t have done it without you. We took this journey together. So long as you’re here, you’ve earned the right to stay exactly where you are –right next to me.”

Jess was speechless. He felt his eyes glaze over with tears. He was overcome by hearing those powerful, familiar words, ‘ _I couldn’t have done it without you._ ’ Even after being with her for almost three years, he was taken aback to hear her say that she couldn’t have done this without him. He laughed softly, amazed that the power of their love could still surprise him. He leaned in and placed a delicate, lingering kiss on the side of her forehead. “All my life, –in all my life, I’ve never loved anything else,” Jess whispered against her skin, their faces so close she could feel the moisture of subtle tears falling down his cheeks. He kissed Rory’s lips softly but fully, enough to swallow not their own cries, but each other’s. He pulled away slowly and sooner than he wanted, he knew things were starting soon.

The crowd was becoming silent in anticipation. Jess stood to Rory’s left; he placed his palm firmly against the small of her back, massaging it gently. Right before things got underway, he kissed her nose lovingly. “Enjoy your moment, sweet girl. You’ve earned it. I’m right here with you.”

“This is _our_ moment,” Rory whispered, kissing his bearded cheek.

“ _On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord. On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas that for far too long have strangled our politics. We remain a young nation. But in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness._

_“In reaffirming the greatness of our nation we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted, for those that prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things –some celebrated, but more often men and women obscure in their labor –who have carried us up the long rugged path towards prosperity and freedom._

_“For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life. For us, they toiled in sweatshops, and settled the West, endured the lash of the whip, and ploughed the hard earth. For us, they fought and died in places like Concord and Gettysburg, Normandy and Khe Sahn._

_“Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions, greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction._

_“This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week, or last month, or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing by, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions –that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America._

_“For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of our economy calls for action, bold and swift. And we will act, not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We'll restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do._

_“Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions, who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short, for they have forgotten what this country has already done, what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage. What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them, that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply._

_“The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works –whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account, to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day, because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government._

_"Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched. But this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control. The nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity, on the ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart –not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good._

_“As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers –faced with perils that we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man –a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience sake._

_“And so, to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born, know that America is a friend of each nation, and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity. And we are ready to lead once more._

_“Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint._

_“We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort, even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we'll work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet._

_“We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense. And for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken –you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you._

_“For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus, and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace._

_“To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West, know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy._

_“To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history, but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist._

_“To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds.  And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders, nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it._

_“As we consider the role that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who at this very hour patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages._

_“We honor them not only because they are the guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service –a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves._

_“And yet at this moment, a moment that will define a generation, it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all. For as much as government can do, and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child that finally decides our fate._

_"Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends –honesty and hard work, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism- these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history._

_“What is demanded, then, is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility –a recognition on the part of every American that we have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world; duties that we do not grudgingly accept, but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character than giving our all to a difficult task._

_“This is the price and the promise of citizenship. This is the source of our confidence –the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny. This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed, why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall; and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served in a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.”  
_

* * *

Rory and Jess’ third anniversary was a quiet one. Daniel and Lydia cleared out for the night. Because it was a Wednesday, they simply ordered takeout for dinner and watched movies wrapped in each other’s arms. There was sex as well of course –after which, they were content to cuddle, eat dessert and watch yet more movies.

“Am I messing up your routine?” Rory asked out of the blue.

“Are you –what?”

“Well, we spent almost three years commuting, spending weekends. And then when I was on the campaign, things got really crazy and we were all over the place –literally. All things considered, we haven’t really spent that much time just being –with each other, all the time, in the normal sense. Our routines or rituals didn’t have to change much, but now they do. So, am I messing up your routine?”

“No,” Jess laughed softly. “You’re doing no such thing –so far anyway. If it changes, you’ll know. I love having you here.”

“I never meant to imply that you didn’t –” Rory started. “I love being here,” she whispered finally, kissing Jess’ palm.

“Am I messing up _your_ routine?” Jess asked.

“No,” she smiled.

Jess inched closer to her, so close that his breath on her skin gave her goose bumps. “Am I annoying you?”

“No. Definitely not. Am I annoying _you_?”

“No. Rory?”

“Yeah?"              
  
“Happy anniversary. I love you. Being all boring and domesticated with you, embracing my inner middle-aged man –I’ve never been happier.”

“I love you too, Jess. Being here with you –us getting to finally have this, this wonderful normalcy- it’s everything I ever wanted.”

They kissed chastely and smiled against each other’s skin.

“The notes you keep leaving me,” Rory said, “I love them. Thank you.”

“I’m glad. I can be quite romantic when I want to be. There’s certainly more where those come from,” Jess said softly.

“Really? How many more?”

“Lots. Pretty much every memory I have with you in it is a good one, with a few exceptions. I’ve loved you forever Rory. I’m going to keep writing you notes until I’ve gone through every memory and detailed every little thing I love about you and when I knew it. Also, you’re getting a nice window into my mind….”

“Which can be quite dirty,” Rory laughed.

“And that surprises you?” Jess asked, showering teasing, lingering kisses along her neck.

“Not at all,” she said, closing her eyes in pleasure.

“Well, that’s a relief. Can we stop with the talking now? I’d like to use my lips for other things…”

“Talking can be very overrated…”

* * *

By the time March arrived, Jess was stressed. He retreated into his shell more than a little, and Rory became worried it _was_ her –she was annoying him after all.

“It’s not you Rory,” Matt assured her. “He gets like this when he starts feeling the pressure –especially with being in school year-round on top of work. You just haven’t been here before when it happens. I promise, he’s not mad at you. Having you living here in Philly is the best thing that’s ever happened to him.”

“You’re sure?” Rory asked.

“Positive,” Daniel interjected. “I go to school with him. Trust me, this is how he gets. It has nothing to do with you. Once we get through finals, he’ll find his equilibrium in a snap. Just be patient with him for the next few weeks.”

“Okay,” Rory sighed, then changed the subject. “So, where are you taking Chris for his thirtieth?”

“Don’t know,” Matt said, “somewhere where he can drink enough that he forgets he’s turning thirty, if he wants.”

“Oh, Daniel! How was your anniversary with Lydia? God, it’s been a year for you guys!” Rory exclaimed.

“Best year of my life,” Daniel smiled. “I’m sure she’ll tell you all about over the next few days during your girls weekend. Is it true that basically everyone is coming?”

“Well –my mom, Lane, Lydia and my friend Paris, who’s in town for a medical conference. That’s everyone –four people.”

The weekend of March twenty-seventh turned into the weekend where everyone decided they needed a Rory fix. Lorelai missed her and once Lorelai made it known she was going to spend the weekend in Philadelphia, Lane wanted to come too. The twins were embracing their toddlerhood, testing out the ‘terrible twos’ moniker a few months early. Lane convinced Zach to watch them solo –with the help of Brian and Mrs. Kim- while Lane took a much-deserved break to go to Philadelphia with Lorelai to spend time with Rory.       

Rory also received an email from Paris, who was in town for a few days for a conference; she wanted to stay through the weekend to confirm the rumours that Rory was indeed happily almost-cohabitating with the Hot Sauce Guy –happiness which Paris was still taking large amounts of credit for.

Rory and Jess had a quiet moment together before the boys left. He apologized for being distracted. Rory gently told him not to worry –just to have a good weekend with the boys; they could talk about it more on Sunday night.

Lydia was very excited to have everyone coming to their place. “This is going to be great,” she smiled.

“Yeah, it’ll be nice to see Mom and Lane. I’ve missed them. I’ve even missed Paris –though that might fade pretty fast once she’s here,” Rory laughed.

“I’m excited to witness the spectacle that is Paris. You’ve told me so much about her.”

“Paris is definitely –unique. And intense. It’ll be an experience all right. It’ll be nice though. Having everyone I care about all together. Hey, so you had a big week –your birthday and your anniversary with Daniel…”

“Yeah –it was fantastic,” Lydia grinned. “And this is the perfect end to a perfect week.”

The girls had a wonderful time –Lane and Lorelai caught Rory up on all of the happenings in Stars Hollow; Kirk sent them there with a mission to take a picture of the tissue with the Presidential gum from all angles, so that he could commission replicas for sale.

Paris was still Paris –all business and dry, droll humour; she was in her element at Harvard, but harboured a bit of envy over Rory’s adventures as a journalist on the campaign; she told Lydia to dye her hair green –if she was going to be known as Anne of Green Gables, she may as well commit.

Lydia told them all about her birthday and anniversary celebrations with Daniel.

Rory couldn’t help but be touched when she saw how Lydia beamed –she smiled widely whenever she talked about Daniel, naturally. It was a beautiful thing to see. _I’m going to be at their wedding one day,_ she thought to herself.

As Friday night wound down, everyone was feeling a little woozy from all the drinking they’d done. They’d have to turn in soon to have enough energy to have just as much fun the next day. Lorelai was the only one who had every single one of her wits about her.

Rory and Lorelai were the last ones to settle down for the night. As they did some minor tidying so that they wouldn’t wake up to a _complete_ disaster zone, Rory felt a question bubble up inside of her. “Are you okay Mom?”

“Of course Hun,” Lorelai smiled. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know, something just seems different.”

“I’m fine, Rory, promise. I’m glad I decided to come see you this weekend. I was missing you too much. You and Lydia have a great place here; she really is lovely. It must be wonderful for you and Jess now. How are you adjusting, to living here?”

“It’s great. Work’s going well and Jess and I have been waiting to have this for so long. It’s wonderful –we’ve never been happier. It’s hard because I miss you and Luke and Lane and Stars Hollow and Grandma and Grandpa. But what’s great is that even though I miss a few people a lot, I’m not friendless here –it’s just a different group. I get along with people at work and we go out sometimes; I have Lydia and Daniel –the guys at Truncheon are just as much my friends as they are Jess’; I have a nice inner circle here. I’m happy, Mom.”

“I can tell.”

Rory suddenly realized that she hadn’t seen her mother drink anything but juice and soda all night –she continuously declined offers to have alcohol mixed in. “Mom,” she said slowly, “you didn’t drink at all tonight…”

“Yes I did –”

“Alcohol. You didn’t drink any alcohol. You only had juice and soda –why did you only have juice and soda? Why didn’t you drink, drink?”

Lorelai held Rory’s gaze and smiled softly. “Because I can’t,” she said quietly. “I’m pregnant. Me and Luke are having a baby,” she whispered tearfully.

“Mom…” Rory said breathlessly, feeling joyful tears come to her eyes. “Really?”

Lorelai nodded. “I’m due at the beginning of December.”

“December? That’s –”

“Perfect. Hopefully the little babe will arrive with some snow.”

Rory and Lorelai embraced lovingly. Rory had never been happier for her mother. “This is amazing,” she whispered.

“Yeah, it really is. Luke is going to talk to Jess this week, so don’t say anything to him, okay? Luke wants to be the one to tell him.”

“No, yeah –of course. Tell Luke not to doddle, I won’t do well with having to keep this to myself for very long.”

“He won’t. I told him about the girls weekend and boys weekend thing –I think he’s going to call Jess on Sunday afternoon.”

“Mom,” Rory smiled. “You’re having a baby! You and Luke, you’re having a baby.”

“Yeah, we are,” Lorelai said, beaming. “I’m convinced that if it’s a boy, he’s going to come out wearing a backwards baseball hat and a plaid shirt.”


	52. Chapter 52

Daniel moved into a large one-bedroom apartment at Hamilton Court at the beginning of August 2009. He and Lydia discussed moving in together right when he moved, but decided against it; there was no need to rush and Lydia was really enjoying living with Rory. Waiting was a relatively easy decision –after starting a relationship the way they did, even a year and a half in, they felt no need to put the cart before the horse.

After helping Daniel get settled in his new place, Rory took a few days off during the second week in August so that she and Jess could spend some time in Stars Hollow with Lorelai and Luke before Jess started his third year at Temple.

“Tyrant!” Lorelai yelled.

“I’m not being a tyrant! It’s not good for the baby and you know it!” Luke snipped back at her.

“Tyrant!”

“Who’s being a tyrant?” Jess asked slowly when he and Rory entered the kitchen the morning after they arrived.

“Your uncle won’t let me have any coffee, Jess,” Lorelai narrowed her eyes at Luke.

“Caffeine isn’t good for the baby,” Luke grumbled. “Have some green tea.”

“First of all, the doctor said one cup of coffee a day will not hurt the baby at all –I’m already deprived and you want to just cut off my only lifeline? Why don’t you just deprive me of oxygen while you’re at it? And second of all, I’m not interested in steeped and steamy mud and grass in a cup.”

“It’s not –”

“It might as well be. Stop trying to sell me on steeped lawn fertilizer, Danes. It ain’t gonna happen. I want my coffee! I refuse to go anywhere near tea until at least midway through the day, because that can’t have caffeine either.”

“Well, it could, if you could live without your one cup of coffee. Instead of coffee, you could have –”

“I want my coffee!” Lorelai shrieked. “You love me, don’t you? Why must you torture me so?”

“Um, Luke?” Rory said questioningly.

“Yes Rory?” he answered with a sigh.

“Mom isn’t exaggerating. Have you never heard her say how much she needs coffee with her oxygen?”

“Did you think I was being melodramatic? Ha! No, sir,” Lorelai laughed, almost frantically.

“You are melodramatic,” Luke rolled his eyes. “I thought, since you were pregnant you might cut down on…”

“One cup a day, Luke. Why do you make me fight for it every morning?”

“Whoa, time out,” Jess said. “You guys do this _every morning_?”

“Yup,” Lorelai said.

“Uncle Luke, Lorelai’s like, five months along and you get into this scrap session every day? You’re lucky she hasn’t killed you,” he laughed. “She’s not having any more than she should, right?”

“No,” Luke admitted.

“Then give it up, man –let the woman have her one cup a day. If she starts vying for a second cup, then you can scrap with her.”

“Fine.”

“Yes! Make it good and strong. If you make it weak on account of me growing this human inside of me, I will kill you,” Lorelai said evenly. “I love you, honey.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet you do,” Luke huffed.  
              
“I do! But if you default back to your ‘no coffee’ kick as soon as Rory and Jess leave, then you’d better sleep with one eye open.”

“Is this gonna be us in a few years?” Rory whispered to Jess.

“No. Have your one cup a day,” Jess assured her. “I won’t try and stop you.”

“Really?”

“I don’t want you turning into Lorena Bobbitt. So, really –I will happily _not_ fight you on one cup of coffee a day.”

“I love you,” Rory smiled.

“Love you too,” Jess laughed.

* * *

“What those, Unc Mess?” Steve asked, reaching for Jess’ glasses.

“My glasses,” Jess said, holding Steve steady on his legs.

“Gases?”

Jess laughed. “Glasses,” he said slowly, making sure to exaggerate the _l_ sound.

“Gases!” Steve said triumphantly, not picking up on the difference.

“Yeah, gases. Sure.”

“Me twy?”

“No, you can’t, little dude. They were made special for me and if you wear them, they’ll hurt your eyes.”

“I want gases.”

“You don’t want them the way I got them,” Jess said under his breath.

“Why?” Steve asked. Jess was surprised Steve heard him. “How you get them?”

“Oh, um…” Jess wracked his brain, trying to figure out how to explain a car accident and a concussion to a two-year-old. “I hurt myself a while ago. Glasses helped me get better.”

“Oh. That bad. Getting hurt bad, Unc Mess. You better now?”

“Yes, I am,” Jess smiled.

“I glad you better. Kwan too.”

“Yeah, I glad you better too, Unc Mess,” Kwan said, looking up from his toys on the floor. “Unc Mess?”

“Yeah, little buddy?”

“I have to go potty.”

Jess was surprised. The boys were barely two and Kwan was already able to recognize the feeling of needing to go ‘potty’ –and ask to go to the actual potty.

Jess was also shaking his head in disbelief that he’d been guilted into _actually_ babysitting the boys by himself while Lane and Rory spent a girls’ afternoon together. Zach and Brian were working and Mrs. Kim was away at an antiques convention.

“Let’s go then, mister,” Jess said, setting Steve down on the floor. “Steve, are you okay if I help your brother?”

“Yeah, me good,” Steve said, throwing all sorts of toys out of the bin onto the floor.

Jess was just about to open the bathroom door and come out with Kwan when he heard Steve scream. He scooped Kwan up quickly, held him balanced on his hip and ran into the living room. Steve had tripped over one of his toys and fell, face first onto the floor; his nose was bleeding.

“Shit,” Jess whispered and thankfully, the boys didn’t hear him. He set Kwan down. “Did you fall, little dude?” he asked Steve.

“On my face,” Steve cried quietly. After a moment, his sadness turned to anger. “Bad floor, you make me fall!”

Jess suppressed a laugh at the cuteness of a two-year-old being mad at the floor.

“My nose bweed,” Steve said, hiccupping as he continued to cry a little bit.

“Should we clean you up?” Jess asked, picking Steve up in his arms. “Kwan, where do Mommy and Daddy keep things that help fix booboos?”

“In the room with the potty,” Kwan said, leading the way back into the bathroom. “There,” he pointed to the cupboard under the sink.

“Unc Mess, I need gases now?” Steve asked softly, with the quivering, scared voice typical of a hurt two-year-old. It broke Jess’ heart.

“I don’t think so, little dude. I think you’re gonna be fine.”

“Pwomise?”

“Promise,” Jess said gently, kissing Steve’s forehead. When the bleeding stopped he flushed the bloody Kleenex down the toilet and got a warm cloth to wipe Steve’s face. “Better?”

“Better,” Steve nodded.

Jess winced when he saw that a bruise was already visible on Steve’s forehead and cheek. “Let’s get some ice for that, okay?”

After getting ice for Steve, Jess asked Kwan to help him clean up all the toys so that he and his brother had no more accidents. They could have plenty of fun together without the toys until Mommy and Rory got home.

Jess sat down with a sigh, putting his head down on the table as the boys talked mindlessly on the floor at his feet. Inexplicably, he felt a lump rise in his throat. It took all the restraint he possessed not to line the walls with padding, cover the floor with pillows and wrap the boys up in bubble wrap to be absolutely sure neither of them got hurt for the rest of the afternoon.

Suddenly, he felt a tiny hand pulling at his pant leg. Jess looked around and locked eyes with Kwan, who was staring up at him with wide, worried eyes. “What’s up, little buddy?” he asked.

“It’s okay, Unc Mess. No be sad,” Kwan said, reaching up on tiptoe to pat Jess’ leg. “Me and Steve get booboos all the time. We get booboos all the time, right Steve?”

Steve nodded his head. “We do. But we fine. We get booboos, but we fine.”

“We fine. All the time, fine. You do a good job, Unc Mess. You our best, Unc Mess, we w-w-love you. No be sad, okay?”

“Okay, little buddy,” Jess said, lifting Kwan up into his lap and kissing his cheek.

Steve hurried over to Jess and said, “I want up too, Mess!”

Jess happily scooped Steve up too, and situated him on his lap with his brother. “You guys are the coolest two-year-olds ever,” he said, kissing the side of Steve’s forehead.

“Wow, everyone alive and well –babysitting was a success,” Lane laughed when she and Rory retuned.

“Mommy!” Both boys scooted off Jess’ lap hurried over to Lane and gave her huge hugs. “We missed you! You too, Aunt Wowy,” they said, hugging her next.

“Steve, what happened? Did you fall?” Lane asked her son.

“Yeah, wight on my face! Unc Mess got scared. I fell and it made him sad. But Kwan told him not to be sad, cuz we get booboos all the time and we okay, all the time. But I think he still sad.”

“I’m not sad, little dude,” Jess told Steve. “I’m just happy you’re okay.”

“I helped Unc Mess be not so sad,” Kwan told his mother proudly.

“You did? That was very nice of you. I bet Uncle Mess loved having you to help him.”

Rory looked at Jess with a sympathetic smile when their eyes met and she saw the genuine fear and worry etched into the lines of his face.

“Thank you, for helping Uncle Mess,” Rory said, squatting down to be eye-level with Steve and Kwan. “He’s lucky to have such awesome kids to love him and cheer him up when he’s sad.”  
              
“He wucky to have us? What mean wucky?” Steve asked.

“It means that I love you little dudes a lot and it’s nice, cuz you love me too,” Jess said, swooping down in front of them and hugging them both.

“We do wove you Mess! Aways!” the twins said.

When Jess and Rory left Lane’s, Jess’ knees wobbled as soon as he cleared the steps.

“Whoa, Jess. You okay?” Rory asked, quickly encircling his waist with her arms to help steady him.  
              
“Yeah, I’m good. Just, kinda exhausted. When Steve fell it was –it was terrifying.”

“You were great with them. Adorable, even. I had no idea you were such a natural with tiny humans,” she giggled.

“Neither did I. Steve and Kwan are just about the only tiny humans I like, though.”  
              
“What about when your cousin arrives?”

“You mean my cousin slash your sibling? I’ll do a little more than like, I would imagine. But that baby’s not here yet, so as it stands, Steve and Kwan are the only tiny humans I like.”

Rory paused before asking a multi-faceted and loaded question. “And _our_ kids?”

“When that time comes, them, I will definitely love,” Jess said, intertwining his fingers with Rory’s as they walked.

“How many do you want? Have you thought about it?” Rory asked nervously.

Jess stopped walking and looked into her bright blue eyes square on. With a smirk, he said, “Two –no kid should be totally alone when their parents… die, and I want our kids to have each other, from the beginning, as siblings and as friends; I had a pretty lonely messed up childhood, which I never want any kid of mine to experience.”  
  
Rory smiled. “Are we really having a calm and positive conversation about our future _family plans_ right now?”

“Yes, I believe we are. Weird, huh?” Jess grinned, pulling her close and catching her lips in a passionate kiss. “But we’re still _years_ off,” he clarified.

“Good, yeah. I agree,” Rory sighed in relief. “Two, huh?”

“Yeah, I think so. You good with that?”

“Totally good. But what if you get _way_ into the parenting thing? What if you suddenly decide you want a whole soccer team of kids?”

“I won’t. But if I do, I will happily let you talk me out of such insanity,” Jess laughed.

“Happily?”

“Just remind me of this conversation; but me forgetting it is unlikely.”

* * *

When Jess and Rory returned to Philadelphia, Jess was thrown into third year headfirst. The short breaks of a week or two afforded to him between the end of summer semester and the start of the new academic year were starting to wear on him.

“Just get through this year and one more summer, when you’re in your Master’s year, you’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just one more summer, you’re in the home stretch,” Jess repeated to himself like a mantra for several weeks.

By the time October was drawing to a close, Jess was retreating –he’d all but stopped leaving surprise notes for Rory, which was fine with her; it was how distant he was that bothered her. When they were together, there was no banter –he barely said two words. He turned in early and cancelled plans several times a week. When Rory asked what was wrong, he always said it was nothing.

Rory wasn’t faultless either –she was extremely wrapped up in her work, knowing in the back of her mind that a potential promotion was only a few months away.

“I know when I first moved here there were parts of his life and daily demeanor that I had to get used to, but….” Rory trailed off.

“I’ve hardly ever seen him this withdrawn,” Daniel agreed. “But he’s been going to school year round for three years. Our program isn’t exactly easy and Jess came in with less credits than me; he’s been working like a dog. That on top of Truncheon –he’s severely burnt out.”

“Is there something we can do for him?” Lydia asked.

“Like what? Go to school for him?”

Lydia sighed. “I didn’t mean, I just –”

“It sucks, but none of us can do it for him. He’s gotta tough this out. He’ll pull through. We just have to be there for him, be patient –give him little reprieves whenever we can. Did he say why he couldn’t come tonight?”

“No,” Rory sighed. “I talked to Matt and Andrew, even they’re worried. He’s been doing most of his Truncheon work in the apartment. They said they haven’t seen him like this since….”

“Since what?” Lydia asked.

“At least he’s not blasting Elliott Smith and he’s sleeping, I think…”

“I’m lost…” Daniel said.

“It’s nothing, never mind. Forget I brought it up. Can we talk about something else please?” Rory asked. “Actually, would you hate me if I bailed? I’ll be back though.”

“Where are you going?” Lydia asked.

“Truncheon. We need to be there for him right? Well, I’m going to remind him that we’re there for him –shutting us out isn’t that easy.”

When Rory arrived at Truncheon it was just after eight. Andrew and Joe were leaving for the night when they saw her approach the steps.

“Rory?” Joe said questioningly. “Hey! What are you doing here? What’s up?”

Rory let her gaze wander up to Jess’ window. “He’s up there, right?”

“Hasn’t come out since he got home from classes yesterday,” Andrew sighed. “Guy’s twenty-five, but you could swear he was a middle-aged agoraphobic. We tried to tell him that holing himself away up there was no way to spend a Saturday night, but.”

 “It’s worrying you guys too, huh?”

“Yeah,” Joe said. “We can’t fault him. Even with reduced duties here, he never misses a deadline or a meeting –nothing. He’s on top of it all –and as far as we know, he’s doing pretty damn good at Temple. Not coasting, or skating by, but like, _good_. It all spells great, but we’re worried he’s gonna crack soon. He can only go and go and go for so long. He must be so tired…”

Rory sighed. “I’m gonna go –try and talk to him.”

“Rory,” Andrew said, “he’s really happy you’re here.”

“I know. It’s time to remind him just how close I am.”

“He’s really lucky to have you,” Joe said, rubbing Rory’s shoulder. “And he knows it, too.”

Rory smiled at Andrew and Joe and made her way inside. She climbed the stairs slowly and waved at Chris and Matt when she saw them. Standing outside Jess’ door, she felt a weird sense of déjà vu –a smaller sense of the dread she felt at being in this hallway after Jess’ car accident, not knowing what was waiting for her on the other side of the door. This was nowhere near as scary or awful as that, she knew –but still, the pit in her stomach was a familiar one. Taking a deep breath, Rory knocked softly before opening the door. “Jess?” she said quietly.

Jess’ head snapped up from his books when she entered. “Ror? What are you doing here?”

“I came to check on you,” she said, crossing the room and spinning his desk chair around, immediately running her fingers along his scalp. “It’s Saturday. I was at the apartment having dinner with our friends and I thought you must be lonely, tucked away up here all by yourself.”

“I’m sorry,” Jess sighed. “I have so much work. Are Daniel and Lydia mad?”

“No.”

“Are you mad?”

“I’m… worried. You’re pretty burnt out, huh?”

Jess swallowed hard. “I really am. Maybe doing a five year degree in four years wasn’t a good idea.”

“But you’re doing it, Jess,” Rory said softly.

“It’s killing me. It never stops. I don’t know if I can keep this up, Rory.”

“Then slow down. It’s not a race.”

“I can’t. I –with my post-concussion crap I –I set a pace. If I break that pace now and slow down, I won’t be able to keep my head above water; I’ll never finish, and if I take a break, I’ll never come back to it.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes I do.”

“Jess –do you still want this?” Rory asked, gesturing to his books.

“Want what?” Jess asked.

“This –a degree from Temple. Do you still want to do your Master’s? You don’t have to, you know. You can stop after you get your B.A.”

“Yes, I still want it. I just submitted my Master’s research statement. I’ve picked the faculty member I want to work with. I want it. I just don’t know if I can do it.”

“You can,” Rory whispered against his skin, holding his face in her hands. “But Jess –you have to let people in. Daniel is going through the exact same thing. He’s doing an accelerated pace too. And yeah, okay, he has more transfer credits than you, so you have it harder –but one of your best friends is going through the _exact_ same thing. You want to know what we were talking about tonight before I came here? What me, Daniel and Lydia were trying to figure out?”

“What?”

“How to help you. We know we can’t do it for you. But we want to help. Support you. Be there for you. But Jess –you have to let us in. Chris and Matt and Andrew and Joe all say the same thing –they can’t fault your work, but they’re worried about you. No one wants you to crash and burn.  
              
“I’ve been getting wrapped up at work because I have a potential promotion coming up, a _big one_. I know I’m wrapped up in my own stuff too. We’re so used to being apart that it’s –we just get caught up and forget about the other person, because up until eleven months ago, that’s how it was. But I’m here now, Jess. We have to get used to letting each other in, for everything. We can’t bury our heads in work until the next weekend together, because it isn’t like that anymore. Now it’s you and me, every day, together. We’ve been running on parallel tracks for so long –we have to get used to being on the _same_ track.”

Jess sighed deeply, wrapped his arms around Rory’s waist and let his head fall forward and rest on her stomach. “I know. I’m sorry. I feel like I’m just screwing this up.”

“Screwing what up?”

“You finally being here. It’s everything I –you’re everything I –and you’re finally here and I’m just fucking it up.”

“Hey,” Rory said gently, massaging his neck, “you’re not. Look at me.”

Jess met her eyes slowly.

“You are not fucking anything up. You’re working way harder than any one person should have to and even though it doesn’t feel like it sometimes, you are succeeding. You’re stressed. That amount of constant stress is bound to mess with you sometimes and that’s okay. I love you far too much to be scared off by you being stressed. I understand, so you don’t need to shut me out, okay? You don’t need to shut your friends out either. We can help you with the stress. There’s a reason they say that it takes a village –because sometimes it does and that’s okay.”

“I love you, Rory.”

“I love you too. We both have some adjustments to make, Jess. We both have work to do. But one thing I do know is that you _have to_ give yourself a break every once and a while –literally. You work so hard. You’re allowed to spend Friday and Saturday night decompressing, spending time with friends. You have to –otherwise all this stress really will break you. Promise me.”

“I promise,” Jess whispered, kissing her gently but fully on the lips. When his hands started to wander underneath her shirt, Rory pulled away with a giggle. “Oh, come on. You said I needed to unwind and decompress. You made me promise. Well, this is me decompressing.”

“Later,” Rory said, kissing his nose and yanking him up out of his chair.

“If that’s later, then what’s happening now?”

“Daniel cooked cedar plank salmon. There’s more than enough for you. Come on, Mariano, you have friends waiting for you and your friends here want nothing more than for you to get out of this tiny apartment. So, let’s go.”


	53. Chapter 53

Thanksgiving 2009 was to be a quiet affair –or, as quiet as possible. Luke and Lorelai were hosting and it was to be a small gathering, with only Richard, Emily, Jess and Rory joining them. Liz was all too happy to give her big brother some space this year; Lorelai was close to the end of her pregnancy and teetering on the edge of insanity. The last thing Liz wanted was to push Luke’s hormonal, _very_ pregnant wife over the edge –they’d have enough to deal with, with Emily and Richard there.

Rory’s bosses at _Philly dot com_ knew that her mother was due to give birth before mid-December. They called her in right before Thanksgiving and told her that because of her impeccable work and the fact that she’d used next to none of her vacation time, they would allow her to work full-time for the entire month of December from home, submitting all her stories remotely and corresponding by email, so that she could be with her mother. What Rory didn’t know was that the reason her bosses made this concession is because they knew she was going to be promoted to _The Inquirer_ after the new year; so allowing her to stick close to family, under the circumstances, was something they were more than willing to do. They wanted her well rested, refreshed and ready to give it two hundred per cent in January.

“Lorelai, do you elevate your feet enough?” Emily asked as they all sat around the table and Luke puttered around with the cooking behind them.

“Define ‘enough’, Mom,” Lorelai sighed.

“Well, whenever you’re not up and walking –”

“Waddling. I’m fifty months pregnant –I haven’t ‘walked’ since September.”

“Lorelai, honestly,” Emily rolled her eyes. “You should have your feet elevated whenever you’re not on them. They’re horribly swollen.”

“I haven’t seen my feet in months, so thanks for the update,” Lorelai deadpanned.

“You look awfully exhausted, Lorelai,” Richard said sympathetically.

“I’m a forty-one-year-old pregnant woman, Dad. I am exhausted. I also own a business that won’t run itself. When the baby’s born I’m going to be going on maternity leave and taking close to a year off. I’ve slowed down as much as I can, but –”

“Oh, you don’t fool us, Lorelai. We all know you’ll be working from home, _not_ working from home far more than you should and still keeping your nose right in the middle of the business. You’re incapable of actually taking proper time off,” Emily said.

“She’s right,” Luke said over his shoulder. “Your definition of ‘maternity leave’ will be vastly different from its universally accepted meaning.”

“Hey. Sookie gave birth four times and when she was off she –”

“She drove everyone crazy. You brought me in to cover a big dinner and she was hiding away in a room upstairs demanding to taste everything behind my back. I had ladles disappearing all over the place. I had to physically take multiple courses of stolen food away from her.”

Jess stifled a laugh. He’d have to remember to ask Luke to tell him that whole story later.

“Yes. Being a devoted business owner who actually loves what she does comes at a price,” Lorelai smiled sarcastically.

“I don’t recall you seeming nearly as haggard when you were pregnant with Rory,” Richard said with a furrow in his brow. “Are you sure everything’s alright?”

“Oh, ‘haggard’ is such a lovely description –just what every pregnant woman longs to be told. Whatever happened to ‘radiant’ or ‘glowing’, Dad? It might be a crock, but you should stick to the classics.”

“Forgive me. I only meant –”

“You want to know what the difference is? Last time, I was sixteen and now I’m forty-one. And Rory was easier to carry than this one,” Lorelai said, poking her stomach and smiling at her daughter. “Dad, everything’s okay. Promise,” she said, reaching to give Richard’s hand a squeeze.

“So, Jess –how’s school going?” Emily asked.

“Good. I’m pretty burnt out, but –”

Rory ran her hand through Jess’ short hair and kissed his head softly.

“Yes, you’ve been going year round haven’t you?” Richard asked. “Hoping to complete the program a year early if I remember correctly. Are you still planning to do your Master’s?”

“Yeah,” Jess smiled, “I just submitted my research proposal about a month ago actually.”

“What is your proposed focus –if I may ask?”

“Creative writing –specifically the process of it. I’m focusing on the Beat Generation –Huncke, Ginsberg, Burroughs, Carr, Kerouac. I’ll be examining their creative process, how their work was influenced and shaped by American culture at the time –and visa versa- and the themes, messages and societal commentary in their narrative.”

“My,” Richard grinned, “that _will_ be interesting. Have you requested a preferred advisor?”

"Yeah. A guy named Stanley Famlookins. He got his M.A. at the University of East Anglia in the U.K. and taught in British private schools for a while. He’s an accomplished author who wrote his Ph.D. dissertation on the impact of the Beat Generation on the American literary psyche.”

“My goodness, he sounds like quite the fellow.”

"I haven’t met him personally but I’ve read his work and audited a few of his lectures. He has quite the reputation for being very dry, sarcastic and droll; the best mentor in the world if he likes you, but unapologetically hellish to deal with if he doesn’t. Truthfully, the rumour mill is more negative than it is positive but I don’t know –my gut tells me he’s probably one of the most interesting people you’d ever meet. I can’t help but think that everyone who’s so quick to label him as an ass did something to warrant him being an ass. I have no hard evidence as such –yet- but I’m convinced everyone’s vitriol is misplaced –I think they’re either wrong about him, or they got the exact version of him that they deserved and they’ll whine about it to anyone who’ll listen.”

“Well, true artists and personalities are understood by a precious few, Jess. And those who gain their confidence and a place in their inner circle –even rarer. I think you’d do well to trust your gut. It sounds like you’re both cut from a similar cloth. I must admit, I’m intrigued –I may just look him up myself.”

“We’re so pleased for you Jess,” Emily smiled. “You’ve really found your niche. It’s wonderful. You may be tired, but you seem happy. I know Rory is thrilled to be living so close to you. Richard and I cannot dispute that Philadelphia agrees with our granddaughter.”

“Philadelphia would be very stupid not to,” Jess smirked, kissing Rory’s cheek.

“Why don’t you guys just tell him _he_ has a radiant glow,” Lorelai said sarcastically. “Love is radiant, but pregnancy is all about that bloat and water weight and making women ‘haggard’…”  

Rory smiled at her mom. Lorelai really was exhausted. “Can I get you anything, Mom?”

“I’d say coffee, but –”

“You had coffee this morning,” Luke said, kissing Lorelai’s head as he put the pot of mashed potatoes down.

“I had coffee this morning,” Lorelai sighed. “But this morning was _so_ long ago.”

“Too bad.”

“Careful, Uncle Luke,” Jess whispered with a chuckle. “I believe this is what thin ice feels like –and there’s a carving knife right next to your _very_ pregnant wife.”

Rory went red faced trying to hold in her laughter as Luke sat down and deftly slid the knife out of Lorelai’s reach.

“Did we miss a joke? What’s funny?” Emily asked.

“Nothing, Emily,” Luke assured her.

“Well now, that’s a bold face lie. Clearly something is amusing.”

“Grandma,” Rory said, taking a deep breath, “it’s nothing, really.”

When Emily sighed in exasperation, Richard patted her hand pacifyingly.

“Are you in on this too, Richard?” she demanded.

“No dear,” Richard said. “But I do wonder when you will learn –every once and a while, better to allow ignorance to be bliss. Now,” he smiled at Luke, “you cooked this feast –shall you do the honours?”

“Yeah, sure,” Luke said, sinking the carving knife into the turkey. “Who wants light, who wants dark?”

* * *

It was late at night on Thursday December tenth. Rory was at home in Stars Hollow and would be until after Lorelai had the baby. It was ironic to Jess that he and Rory had spent nearly three years navigating a long distance relationship and now that she was based in Philadelphia with him, less than halfway through what would only amount to less than a month apart, he missed her so much that his chest ached.

Because he was wrapping up the semester and then studying for exams, when he left after Thanksgiving, he knew he might not see her again until Christmas. Depending on when Lorelai went into labour, he wouldn’t be able to make it back to Stars Hollow right when the baby was born and Jess was also surprised at how this ate at him. “Jesus, what’s happened to you, Mariano?” he said to himself quietly.

“You’re in love, that’s what,” Chris laughed. “And your only friends who aren’t the charming brotherhood of Truncheon are also in love –with each other, no less. Ball, meet Chain.”

Jess laughed. “How did you even know what I was talking about?”

“You’ve been holding your phone in a vice grip since you got back after Thanksgiving. We all know why.”

“Great,” he rolled his eyes.

“Hey man. No judgment. It’s actually fucking fantastic. None of us thought it would ever happen.”

“You never thought what would happen?”

“That someone would melt that prickly exterior of yours and see what a giant Care Bear you really are. Or, you know, that you’d ever have any friends besides us and –well, us, mostly.”

“Did you seriously just call me a Care Bear? I don’t even get to be Beastly?”

“No. Beastly was mean. He was what we in literary circles refer to as the _antagonist_. You haven’t been Beastly for –let me see,” Chris said pensively, “almost four years.”

“I should punch you,” Jess said dryly.

“Nah, you really shouldn’t. I hit back. Plus, you’d be incurring the wrath of Maria. Not wise.”

“Maria?”

“Yeah man, I’m the ball to her chain.”

“I thought you guys had only been out on a few dates?”

“That was like six months ago dude,” Chris said. “We’ve been a pretty bankable thing for a not-so-short while.”

“God, where have I been?”

“Wrapped up in school and Rory and your Canadian lovebird friends. And you’ve been justifiably distracted by your uncle and quasi-aunt having a baby, which should be happening like, any day now, right?”

“She’s not my quasi-aunt. She’s Lorelai. That’s it. And yeah, any day.”

“So, that means what –that the baby will be your ‘kind of’ cousin?”

“Yes. Exactly.”

“We pay attention, Jess. I know it looks like we don’t, but we do.”

“I know you do. I’m sorry I’ve been so –”

“Did you just tune out my whole ‘this is fucking fantastic,’ comment? Seriously Jess, no badness here. Nothing to be sorry for.”

“Right. Thanks dude. Really,” Jess smiled warmly.

“See?” Chris grinned. “Care Bear.”

“Okay, that’s it,” Jess laughed, springing out of his chair. The instant he was on his feet, his phone rang.

“Oh, saved by the bell! Looks like the quasi-aunt has gone into labour. Thank her for me later,” Chris winked.

Jess stood silent, staring at Chris and then looking down at his phone. He didn’t know much about out-of-body experiences –he wasn’t sure if that’s what this was or not.

“Geez, Mariano –I’d make a _Rain Man_ reference, but even autistic savant Dustin Hoffman didn’t struggle with picking up a phone when it rang; when a phone rings, you pick it up –it’s what you do.”

Jess still didn’t move.

“Seriously dude, pick up your phone!” Chris yelled.

Finally, Jess came back to himself. “Rory?” he said breathlessly. “It’s happening? Like, now? How fast is –do I have time to … Good, where? … I’m study days’ break today and tomorrow; I don’t have my exams till Wednesday, Thursday, Friday next week. I’ll bring my books –study from there and head back Tuesday morning. I can be there, I promise. Which hospital is –… okay. Yeah, I remember. …  I’m sure Chris or Matt will let me borrow their car for a few days; there aren’t any far afield meetings on the books until the latter part of next week. I’ll be careful, I promise; I have driven in the past two years Ror, I didn’t forget how. … Okay, love you. I’ll call you from a rest stop. Love you too, okay … Call me if there are big changes, I’ll pull over. … Okay, I should go, get on the road. I’ll be there as soon as I can. … Yeah, tell them I’m coming. … I love you Rory, I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Jess hung up the call and looked at Chris, who was already holding out his car keys for him. “Go –give our love to Rory and Luke and quasi-Aunt Lorelai. We’ll all be waiting for news,” he smiled. “Really hope it goes smoothly for her man, truly.”

Jess sprinted the few steps over to Chris. He had a go-bag backed with a few days worth of necessities, just in case Lorelai’s timing was exactly right and he could be there after all. “Aw man, I will. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Jess laughed joyfully, taking Chris’ keys. “If you see Mary while I’m gone, say hi for me,” he said as he swiftly shoved his study notes and texbooks into his bag, before sprinting out his apartment door and heading for the stairs.

“Maria,” Chris corrected him, laughing.

“Jess?” Matt said inquisitively, “it’s like, ten at night, where are you going?”

“Lorelai’s in labour and I’m off on study days tomorrow and Friday; I don’t write any exams till Wednesday. I’m going to Stars Hollow; I’ll probably hit the road Tuesday morning to get back here by early afternoon. Chris, that okay? Do you need your car before then?”

“Nope. I’m all good. Enjoy your unexpected little vacay,” Chris said with a genuine smile.

“Oh my God Jess, she’s in labour? Like, now –as in, this is happening, now?” Matt asked.

“Yup as in happening pretty much nowish,” Jess confirmed.

“That’s awesome. Give Lorelai our love –Rory too. Hope everything goes smoothly. Send us pictures! Have someone help you with that fancy, newfangled phone of yours –those things take decent photos –we want to see pictures of that baby!”

“Yeah, I promise, I’ll get Rory to do it. She bought me the damn thing for my birthday and I’ve done nothing with it but use it as a straight-up phone, go figure,” Jess rolled his eyes. “Chris, I owe you big time –thank you _so_ much for letting me borrow your car!”

“No car crashes, got it?” Chris said sarcastically, with a smile on his face. “Drive safe. Update us when you can. Now get the hell out!”

“I’m gone,” Jess smiled. “Andrew and Joe –tell them what’s going on.”

“Of course we will –and yes, Daniel and Lydia too, if they happen to be out the loop,” Matt assured him with a laugh. “Now, will you get gone already?!”

“Thanks. I love you, you fucking weirdos. All of you.”

With that Jess was out the door, leaping down the steps two at a time –hoping for a reason he couldn’t quite put his finger on that Lorelai’s labour progressed relatively slowly –at least until he got there. He was prepared to have no choice but to miss the birth of his ‘kind of’ cousin, but Lorelai had miraculously gone into labour at exactly the right time. He could be at the hospital with Rory and his uncle and he’d be able to hold his newborn ‘kind of’ cousin. He _couldn’t_ miss this. He had to get there before the baby was born. If he missed out onbeing part of this moment because of traffic, he’d never be able to admit how much disappointment he’d feel.

Inside Truncheon Books, Chris was still smiling triumphantly. “Jess Mariano: total Care Bear.”

* * *

Jess got to John Skinner Medical Center at around twelve-thirty in the morning. It was the same hospital Richard had been brought to almost three years ago, so there were all sorts of confusing emotions –for everyone- about being back there. But the bright side was that Jess knew exactly how to get there –in winter weather, no less, which was even more of a plus. It was the middle of the night, so he once again found himself breaking speed limits –while staying completely safe- in order to get there as fast as he could; he managed to shave half an hour off the typically three-hour commute.

“Hey!” Rory said, standing in the doorway of Lorelai’s hospital room. “That was fast. How was the drive?”

“Quiet,” Jess answered, wrapping Rory in his arms and giving her a quick kiss. “How’s it going in there?” he asked, nodding towards the room.

Before Rory could answer, she was cut off by a painful yell.

“That pretty much sums up how it’s going in there,” she said.

Jess winced, uncomfortable at the sound of Lorelai’s pain. It surprised him, how much it twisted his insides. “Is she gonna tough it out?” he asked eventually.

“Definitely not. She sent me out here to watch for any sign of the anesthesiologist. If he’s not here by the next time she makes a noise like that, I’m under strict orders to hunt him down and get him here –through brute force if necessary. I might need you as my backup –should it come to that.”

Jess laughed. “How far along is she?”

“Four to five.”

“Yikes.”

“Yeah,” Rory sighed. “It’s gonna be a _long_ night.”

“How’s Luke holding up?”

“Super well. That protective instinct he’s always had has kicked into uber-high gear. Next time he steps out, though, you might want to check on the circulation in his fingers and make sure he’s not dangerously lightheaded.”

“Where are your grandparents?”

“They’re here too –on a coffee hunt. I offered to go find it –I do have the gift, after all- but Mom wouldn’t let me leave. As soon as they got here, my grandpa made it _very_ clear that once she progresses to seven centimeters, he will ‘respectfully step out’ of her room and return once she’s given birth.”

"Ever the gentleman. But he has the right idea; I think I’ll join him. When it’s you and me, that’ll be different. But when it comes to your mom? I’ll definitely be partaking in some good old-fashioned gentlemanliness –waiting for an ecstatic Luke to bust into the hallway and give us the standard classic, but never old line of ‘It’s a…! We have a healthy baby…!’” Jess smirked. “Ror?”

“Hm?”

“Hi.”

“Hi,” Rory smiled. “I’ve missed you.”

“Me too. It’s amazing –we were so used to being long distance and now that we’re not, we really suck at being apart.”

“I know, right?”

“I’m not sorry about it, either.”

“Not even a little.”

Jess smiled crookedly and pushed Rory against the wall gently. With expert skill, he kissed her passionately, careful to move his lips against hers in complete silence. Even their breathing was soundless. They were so caught up in the moment, neither of them heard the anesthesiologist approach or even saw him enter the room.

They were jolted out of their bliss bubble by another painful shriek from Lorelai –this one obviously because of a needle stick. “Rory!” she yelled.

“Oh boy,” Rory whispered.

“Go on,” Jess said quietly. “Let me know when it’s safe to come in and say hi.”

“I’ll send Luke out –let him know you’re here. But Mom should be nice and numb in no time. Give it ten minutes, tops. Then, I think you’re safe.”

“How’s it goin’, Daddy?” Jess winked when Luke came out into the hallway.

“Don’t ever call me that,” Luke said flatly, pulling Jess into a hug. “Thanks for coming.”

“Of course. But it’s really not me you should be thanking. Thank Lorelai for going into labour at the exact right time, when I had a few days to spare.”

“Maybe later,” he laughed. “Hey, this isn’t messing with school and work too much is it, you being here?”

"Nah. I don’t have any of my exams until midweek. I’m good for a few days. I brought my books with me. I can study here. I don’t have to head back till Tuesday.”

“Good. That’s good.”

“Jess! You’re here!” Emily said in surprise. “Look, Richard. Jess is here!”

“I see him dear,” Richard smiled as they approached. “How are you, Jess?”

“Little tired, considering the hour, but I’m good, Richard,” Jess answered. “Emily, good to see you."

“Likewise.”

“How’s Lorelai doing, Luke?” Richard asked.

“Oh, she’s a lot better now. The doctor just gave her an epidural. I think they gave her Pitocin, too –is that what it’s called?- to help her –dilate,” Luke said a little awkwardly. “I’m hoping that the former is strong enough to cancel out the pain associated with the latter.”

“It is, don’t worry. She’ll be quite comfortable until she’s essentially ready to push,” Emily assured him.

Luke went slightly pale.

“Breathe, Uncle Luke,” Jess laughed.

“Sorry. I hate hospitals. Sick people make me a little –”

“Green? But Lorelai’s not sick; she’s having your baby. It’s a happy day, Daddy!”

“I told you not to call me that.”

“Come on. I should go say hi. If you need to faint, Uncle Luke, I promise I’ll catch you.”

“If I’m going to faint it’ll be when she’s –”

“Yeah, you’re on your own there. I’ll be in the waiting room with Richard. But have fun with that!”

* * *

William Richard Gilmore-Danes was born at three forty-two in the afternoon on Friday, December eleventh, 2009 –after roughly eighteen hours of labour- weighing in at seven pounds exactly. Not only did Luke _not_ faint, he cut the umbilical cord like a pro.

Rory and Jess snuck out a few hours after the birth when Lorelai was asleep, to go to the mall and hunt down a plaid baby shirt and a tiny baseball cap –William’s first of many.

“It really is the uniform,” Jess chuckled under his breath when they found what they were looking for.

“What?”

“Oh, there was this one time, not long after I moved in with Luke, that I –”

Rory’s phone rang just then. She was surprised to see that it was work. She hadn’t missed a single deadline, even working remotely, and she called in as soon as they took Lorelai to the hospital. Plus, it was nearly six o’clock. “Hello? … What? … Really?! Thank you, thank you so much!”

“What was that?” Jess asked with a smile.

“I’ve been promoted. I got the _Inquirer_!” Rory squealed.

As she wrapped her arms around him, Jess picked Rory up off the ground and twirled her in a circle. “Congratulations sweet girl. I love you so much,” he whispered into her hair.

“I love you too. Oh my God, Jess!”

“When do you start?”

“January fourth.”

“That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you. Nothing says happy New Year quite like starting a job at the biggest –and essentially the only- major daily in all of Philadelphia, huh?” Jess chuckled, wiping away Rory’s happy tears. “You’re a rock star.”

“When do you have to go back? I know you told me on the phone, but I don’t remember. It’s been a long eighteenish hours,” Rory said, with a sigh and a hint of sadness.

“Tuesday.”

“So soon?”

“Yeah. These pesky things called exams –turns out they don’t write themselves. Lucky I brought my books so that I could study while I was here, otherwise I’d be going back sooner.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why in the world are you sorry?”

“You must be so stressed out. With this happening now, when you have exams to worry about, and finishing the semester –it’s a lot.”

“You’re adorable,” Jess said with a loving grin. “Yes. I’m tired. But I’m actually relieved that this happened now –today. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here with you, buying disturbingly cute baby plaid and tiny baby baseball caps for William. I got to be next to you when you picked up that call. Don’t you get that all the stress and all the fatigue don’t matter right now?”

“Are you sure?”

“So very, extremely sure,” Jess said, propping her chin up with his finger. “I will pass my exams by more than just the skin of my teeth, I promise.”

Rory sighed. “I believe you. And I know. I just feel bad. You have so much on your plate that –”

“Ror,” Jess said gently. “This is because of what happened in October, right?”

Rory nodded slowly.

Jess held her gaze intently. “Yes. I’m stressed. Yes –sometimes that stress makes me retreat into myself. If I told you that it’ll never happen again, I’d be lying. It will happen again. The same way you’ll get super focused on work and block out most of everything else. We’re human, Rory. We’re flawed –gloriously flawed.”

“Gloriously? That’s a generous adjective with which to describe flaws. Why gloriously?”

“Because we’ve finally figured out how to match each other. We’ve figured how to balance each other. That doesn’t mean we can call it a day, because then our lives will fold like a house of cards in a tornado –but you and me, Rory? We’ve got this.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Ror.”

“You’re quite the elegant wordsmith, you know that?” she asked with a twinkle in her eye.

“I should hope so,” Jess chuckled. “Okay?” he asked softly after a beat of silence.

“Okay,” Rory smiled.

“We’re just hitting cruising speed, Gilmore. This book is just getting interesting.”

“Good, because it’s been so yawn worthy thus far,” she laughed.

“Come on. We have a gift to deliver and you have some very exciting news to share,” Jess said, taking Rory’s hand.

As they stepped outside and made their way to the car, it started to snow.


	54. Chapter 54

On a quiet night towards the end of January, 2010 Daniel was playing around with his food nervously. Lydia and Rory were enjoying a girls’ night, so Daniel and Jess decided to have a guys’ night.

“Are you gonna eat that, or just push it around your plate to make it look like you’re eating it?” Jess asked.

“What?”

“All you’ve done is mix that fettuccini like soup. You’ve barely had two bites.”

“You sound like my mom,” Daniel laughed.

“God, that’s the last thing a guy wants to hear. Seriously though –are you gonna eat? I’m not like you –fettuccini is one of the only things I can cook besides fried eggs. If you don’t eat, I’ll be offended.”

“Sorry.”

“What’s going on, man? What’re you thinking about?”

“Lydia.”

“Oh –there’s a big shock,” Jess chuckled.

“Jess,” Daniel said quietly, catching his friend’s gaze and holding it, “I think –I think I want to ask her to marry me.”

“Holy shit. Are you serious? Like, as in, soon?”

Daniel nodded. “Is that insane? Is it _too_ soon?”

“You’ve been with her for what –going on two years? I’d say you’re on a more or less normal trajectory.”

“But you and Rory have been together for like, twice as long as us and you’re not –”

“Dude. Me and Rory is me and Rory. Just because we’ve been together longer and we’re not there yet doesn’t mean you should feel weird if you think you are there –if you think you’re ready and you believe she is too, I say go for it –more power to you.

“Rory and I aren’t there yet and we both know that –but we will be, in the next few years; we want to make sure the timing is exactly right. The fact that we know we want ‘forever’ to mean marriage –regardless of when- is a minor miracle, all things considered. I’m not in a race with you, pal. I’m not keeping score.”

Daniel sighed and smiled subtly.

Jess smirked. “You’re ready to propose, Frenchie? Before we even finish school?”

“I think so. I mean, I –when we’re done school, I want to marry her, so.”

“Have you started looking at rings yet?”

“No. That’s what I was going to ask you. Will you come with me –to look at rings?”

“Are you proposing to me? You’re proposing to me, that I help you propose to her?”

“You’re cute…”

“Yes, Frenchie,” Jess said, batting his eyelashes and reaching for Daniel’s hand across the table. “A thousand times, yes!”

Daniel rolled his eyes and threw his napkin in Jess’ face.

“Two dudes in a jewelry store aren’t any smarter than one, though. Shouldn’t you bring a girl or something?”

“I’ve talked to her sisters a bit, and her mom. But they can’t come all the way from Ottawa just to go ring shopping. I’d ask Rory, but you’ve told me she can have a pretty bad poker face sometimes. As soon as I get a ring, she’ll be among the first to see it. The secret will be easier to keep by then –or at least, she won’t have to keep it as long.”

“Wow. So, family’s on board. And yeah, Rory’s poker face isn’t the greatest. But you can trust her.”

“Yeah. And I know I can trust Rory.”

“When do you think you want to pop the question?”

“Well, we’re probably moving in together in May, so… June, probably? Right around our two year anniversary.”

“Ah, so in this case you’re referring to the first date anniversary, not the anniversary of when you first met and started falling for each other. That one’s in March –God, how do I even know all of this? How is that information just there –right in the top of my brain, ready to be rhymed off?”

“Yup, I’m going for the first date anniversary,” Daniel laughed.

“I can’t believe you guys have two anniversaries –and even worse, that they’re both legit. It’s disgusting,” Jess chuckled.

“I love you too, man,” Daniel said sarcastically. “Hey, are you and Rory getting excited about living together? You ready?”

“So ready. The summer before final year is perfect timing. We can’t wait –it’s been a long time coming. God, I can’t believe you’re gonna get married man! Look at you, all growed up.”

“I have to ask her first –and she has to say yes.”

“She will.”

“You think?”

“I don’t think –I know."

* * *

“Oh wow, Rory. William’s adorable,” Lydia smiled as they looked through Rory’s countless photos of her new baby brother.

“I know. I miss him so much. I was spoiled, getting to spend almost a month in Stars Hollow after he was born.”

“You were lucky is what you were –a baby brother and a promotion, doesn’t get much better.”

“Yeah,” Rory grinned.

“You settling in at the _Inquirer_? You like it?”

“I love it. A daily is what I’ve always wanted. I’ve worked in collaboration with a lot of the people in the office before –there’s a ton of overlap between _Philly dot com_ and the _Inquirer_. I mean it’s still an adjustment –but a minor one, all things considered.”

“I’m glad. I’m really happy for you.”

“Are you still happy at _The Public Record_?”

“Yeah –very happy. I like working at a smaller, slightly less hectic paper.”

“I’m happy for you too, Lydia. Really,” Rory said genuinely.

“So, how’s Jess with his tiny little cousin?” Lydia asked, preferring to focus on the cuteness of baby William and the adorable thought of Jess with little baby William, rather than work.

“He’s awesome with him,” Rory admitted, beaming. “He seems like the last guy on earth who’d be such a natural with kids, right? But you should see him, with William, with Lane’s boys, Steve and Kwan –he’s amazing.”

“I’m not surprised. I think I know Jess pretty well by now. He’s told me a little bit about where he came from. He’s the type of guy who’d make sure that any kid he’s around gets all the love and care that no one really gave him growing up. Underneath that prickly exterior, he’s a major softy.”

“He always has been, though his thorns were pricklier when we were teenagers. It was very hard to see sometimes –but he’s always had a good heart. I saw it when no one else could. He was nice to me and so nasty to everyone else; everyone wondered what on earth I saw in him and I could never really explain it –I just always knew there was more to him than the stunts he pulled or the tempers or the slacking off –he’s always been a good guy, but he never really embraced it or let it show until a few years ago.

“He –he saved my life, essentially; it sounds melodramatic, but it’s true. I was spinning out of control and everyone was trying to help me but he was the only one who got through. I think he was the only one who could’ve ever gotten through to me –and he knew it,” Rory sighed, pensive, thankful.

Lydia reached for Rory’s hand and smiled. “That was the beginning,” she said softly, “of something wonderful. Remember that and less of the bad.”

“I do.”

"Good. Rory?”

“Yeah?”

“Does he want kids?”

“Yeah,” Rory said, “two. We talked about it once, recently. Eventually –two. What about you and your wonderful?”

“We haven’t talked about kids, if that’s what you mean. But with moving in together in the spring –I mean, I don’t know when, but the next thing is –”

“Yeah.”

“What about you and Jess? You’ve been together way longer than Daniel and I. If you’ve talked about kids, you must have talked about –”

“We haven’t actually –not explicitly anyway. But that –the thing that comes before babies- it’s definitely in our future. It took so much for us to get here though –not just with the campaign, but even for us to figure out how to love each other and be together and happy- that we’re not really looking to rush any steps. We’d rather take our time and make sure that when things happen, the timing is exactly right. We’ve only become a ‘typical couple’ in the last year or so, so our timeline inches forward at a pace that might be considered very slow, but we’re happy. We know our future is together –we’re not preoccupied with hitting the milestones in a traditionally timely fashion. As long as we’re together and committed to each other, that’s what matters.”

“But you do want to marry him one day, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Rory smiled. She wasn’t even sure she could pinpoint when she knew she wanted to marry Jess eventually; it was something that had snuck into her subconscious over the last four years and taken root in a way that made it feel like it had always been there –from that very first day when Jess sat calming her cries and holding her in his arms at Truncheon.

* * *

A few weeks later, just after Valentine’s Day, Jess and Daniel found themselves in Jasmine’s Fine Jewelry, a small, family owned jewelry store that offered custom and one-of-a-kind engagement rings.

The boys felt like two pitiful fish out of water. There were only three Jasmine’s locations –one of which, surprisingly, was not even in Pennsylvania.

Daniel picked this store for several reasons –it was small, its selection was very unique and not _too_ overwhelming and they had a reputation for creating the most breathtaking custom engagement rings that one could find anywhere in Philadelphia.

Daniel an idea of the ring he wanted to give to Lydia; but more than anything, he was going to trust his gut. He needed Jess there to make sure he wasn’t persuaded by salespeople to buy a ring that, although gorgeous, was the wrong one.

“What do you think, Dani Boy?” Jess asked, watching Daniel’s eyes go wide at the array of choices.

“She likes pink. Her hands are small, so I want something delicate,” Daniel answered.

“Did you say you were looking for something pink?” the older woman behind the cases asked.

“Yeah.”

“Anything in particular –?”

Daniel got flustered and laughed nervously.

“He’s looking for an engagement ring,” Jess offered.

“Ah! Of course. You said she likes pink?”

“Yeah, she does,” Daniel said.

“Small hands?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want a solitaire stone? Or something with accents?”

“I –I have no idea,” Daniel sighed.

“I told him I would be very little help in this particular struggle, but all females who could be of assistance are very far away. Or, they’d do a questionable job of keeping the cat in the bag. So here we are,” Jess said, “two guys in a jewelry store who don’t know the first thing about any of this stuff. Sorry you’re stuck with us.”

“Not at all. I’m happy to help you make sense of all these sparkly things. It’s a very important thing your friend is looking for –the most important piece of jewelry he’s ever going to give. We have to make sure he makes the best choice –the right choice for his lucky lady. I’m Tina,” she said with a smile.

“I’m Jess; this is Daniel.”

“Daniel,” Tina said. “It’s nice to meet you. Let’s start simple. Tell me about her.”

“Tell you about who?” Daniel asked.

“Your girlfriend,” Tina laughed. “Knowing a little bit about her will help me help you make the right choice.”

Daniel took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. He started telling Tina about Lydia and as he did, a telltale smile danced across his face. He told her how they met, how they fell in love from a distance and had a beautiful first date in Chicago that lasted over twenty-four hours; he told her how the love between them just kept growing.

Tina listened with rapt attention as though Daniel’s relationship story was the most enthralling thing she’d ever heard. She laughed and smiled in all the right places and never took her eyes off him as he spoke. “How long have you been with her?” she asked eventually.

“Going on two years.”

“Do you have a picture of her?”

Daniel took out his phone and pulled up a picture of the two of them from their one-year anniversary dinner.

“Wow. She’s beautiful. Let me see, I’m sure we have her ring here. It’s just a matter of finding it,” Tina said quietly.

Daniel was struck by Tina’s possessive phrasing, _I’m sure we have her ring here_. It put him at ease instantly –he knew he was in the right place.

"If she likes pink, we should think outside the box a little bit. A sapphire –”

“I thought sapphires were blue?”

“Blue sapphires are the most popular, yes. But sapphires can be all kinds of colours –blue, yellow, turquoise and of course, pink.” Tina pulled out a small pillow with nine rings on it, each one boasting a pink sapphire. “Do any of these strike a chord with you, Daniel?”

Daniel’s eyes zeroed in on a delicate, thin white gold ring. The center stone was a small, oval shaped pink sapphire surrounded by a halo of tiny pave diamonds that continued all the way around the band. “This one,” he whispered, pointing to it carefully.

“This one is exquisite. Good eye. It’s wonderful, because it’s not like so many other halo settings you see –your eyes are drawn right to the sapphire. The colour contrast between the pink sapphire and the diamond halo make it very easy to lose time staring at it; every time you look at it, it might show you something different. Halo settings can often be overwhelming –not enough differentiation between the size of the accents and the center stone, so it just becomes a big sparkly blur –but this one –the beauty is in its delicacy. And it’s one of a kind. Every piece in this collection is –your Lydia would be the only woman in the world with that ring. Here, take a closer look,” Tina pulled the ring out of the velvet pillow and gave Daniel a tiny magnifying glass. “Take your time.”

As Daniel inspected the ring he’d found, Jess’ eyes started to wander. He and Rory had an anniversary coming up –he knew he should get her something. But in spite of himself, his gaze settled on rings.

“What about you, Jess?” Tina asked softly. “Do you have someone special?”

“Yeah, I do,” Jess smirked. “But we’re not ready for –not quite. We do have an anniversary coming up fast though. Four years.”

“My! That’s quite the accomplishment!”

“It really is,” Jess laughed. “I’m sorry. I’m really not here to look for a ring, I swear. But –can you show me –?” he trailed off and pointed to a row of diamond and sapphire bands.

“Of course,” Tina said. “I take it you and your girlfriend are slightly less traditional than Daniel and Lydia?”

“How’d you know?”

“The rings you want to see. Engagement bands are a non-traditional choice –but still classic and timeless, diamonds and sapphires especially. Do you like the blue?”

“Yeah, I do.”

Tina watched Jess intently and when his eyes settled on a particular ring, she pulled it out of the pillow and held it under the light, turning it slightly to let him see all its angles. “Scalloped pave diamonds and sapphires,” she explained. “Your girlfriend –what’s her name?”

“Rory,” Jess answered. “But really –we’re not ready to get engaged just yet. Soon, I think. But not yet.”

“Well, here,” Tina said, handing him a business card. “We have two locations here in Philadelphia and my sister Carol runs the shop in New York. When you’re ready, you come back to us.”

“Thanks.”

Tina looked over at Daniel, who was still enraptured with the pink oval sapphire and diamond halo. “I think he found Lydia’s ring.”

“Yup, I think he did too.”

“Now, dear. Rings aren’t the only thing we sell. Didn’t you say that you and Rory have an anniversary coming up?”

 “Yeah we do.”

“Well, her anniversary gift is bound to be here somewhere. What’s your budget?”

“I’m in university, I work at a small publishing house.”

“You’re part owner of a small publishing house, Jess. Own your ownership, man,” Daniel piped up, without taking his eyes off the ring.

Jess smirked at Tina. “I’m not rich.”

“You don’t need to be. Look in that case there,” she pointed. “Everything is two hundred dollars or under. I’m going to go help Daniel. It looks like he’s ready to take a deep breath and admit that that’s the one. Once I settle him up with his down payment, I’ll be back to see if you need any help.”

After about five minutes, Tina came back to Jess. “Well?”

“That pendant, there –I haven’t been able to take my eyes off it.”

“Beautiful choice, Jess, it’s simple butt it boasts a lot of elegant detail; it has just the right amount of sparkle. She’ll love it,” Tina smiled, taking it out of the case carefully and setting it in a simple black jewelry box on top of a soft square of cotton. She tied the box up with a wide, decorative ribbon, curling the ends by scoring them with scissors.

Daniel had come over to Jess by now and noticed what Tina was doing. “I thought you said you weren’t in the market just yet for an –” he started to tease.

“Calm down, Frenchie,” Jess said, smacking him gently, “it’s a necklace, for our anniversary.”

“Oh yeah! It’s soon, eh?”

Jess nodded. “You’ve made your choice I see,” he said, eying the receipt in Daniel’s hand.

“Yeah, I should have it paid off a few weeks ahead of proposing in June or July,” Daniel smiled.

“That’s amazing man. You’re gonna propose! This is so great!” Jess shook Daniel’s shoulders playfully.

“Both of your ladies are very lucky to have men like you to love them,” Tina said genuinely. “Daniel, I’ll see you in a few weeks for your next payment?”

“Yes. Thank you _so much_ for all your help Tina, really,” Daniel said gratefully.

“It is truly my pleasure, Daniel. Make sure after you propose, you bring in pictures to show me, please.”

“I might do you one better and bring her in to meet you.”

“Oh I would _love_ that! Please do!” Turning to Jess, she said, “You must come in and tell me what your Rory thinks of that beautiful pendant you chose.”

 “I will,” Jess said with a smile.

Tina leaned in closer and placed a gentle hand on Jess’ arm. “Don’t you forget, sweetheart,” she said quietly, “whenever you’re ready, you come back to us. You have our card with contact information for all three of our locations. Doesn’t matter if you come back to me or you end up seeing Carol in New York. We have Rory’s ring; it’ll be waiting for you.”

“I will,” Jess grinned, knowing that he was telling her the truth. When it came time to find Rory’s engagement ring, he knew he’d find it here with Tina, or in New York, with Carol. “Why is it called Jasmine’s Fine Jewelry?” he asked suddenly.

“Pardon me?” Tina asked, perplexed.

“Sorry, it’s just –I just, it’s called Jasmine’s Fine Jewelry. I assume you run this store and the other one here in Philly; it’s a family business –your sister runs the store in New York. So –where did Jasmine’s come from?”

Tina smiled. “Jasmine is my daughter. She owns the business and splits most of her time between New York and the larger location that’s just a tiny bit closer to Philadelphia’s downtown core. She’s not in here as much as she’s in the other stores. I’m sure you’ll both meet her, eventually. Hold onto that card, darling,” Tina grinned.

“I definitely will,” Jess said quietly, with a smile. “After all, her ring is here, right? So why would I go anywhere else?” he winked.

* * *

“What’d you and Jess do last week?” Lydia asked quietly, snuggling into Daniel’s side.

“Hm?” Daniel said, running his fingers through Lydia’s soft auburn hair.

“On Friday –you were gone all day…”

“We were shopping for jewelry,” Daniel said, feeling himself blush, eternally grateful that they were lying in the dark. He knew exactly what to say in order to essentially tell Lydia the truth –part of it, anyway.

“Jewelry shopping? You two? Really?” Lydia laughed.

“Yeah. It was... interesting. You know how Jess can be –”

“What do you mean?”

“Their anniversary is today and the guy had nothing –no gift. He only realized it on Friday. Neither of us had class, so we looked up a little family owned jewelry store and he made me come with him.”

“Did he find anything?”

“Yeah. But it took him a while to tear his eyes away from all the rings.”

Lydia gasped. Her face lit up. “Dan! Is he going to propose? Do you think he’s proposing _right now_?!”

“He’s not proposing, Lyddie –not yet, anyway,” Daniel laughed, kissing her forehead softly. “He bought her a necklace.”

“They belong together –they really do. I hope he does propose one day,” Lydia sighed.

“He will. But you know them; they’ll come to it in their own time. Lydia, are you –” Daniel faltered. “Do I make you happy?”

Lydia shifted on her side and held Daniel’s cheek in her palm. “You make me happier than I ever thought I could be.”

Daniel said nothing; he sighed and smiled, leaning into her touch.

“Where’s this coming from?”

“Nowhere. I just –I love you so much. I don’t know, I guess I want to be sure you’re as happy with me as I am with you –that this isn’t too good to be true –that you and me, we’re real and I’m not dreaming.”

“You’re not dreaming,” Lydia whispered, kissing him delicately and feeling tears fall down her cheeks. Daniel wiped them away with his thumbs as their lips moved together. Lydia eventually pulled away slowly. “You’re the love of my life, Daniel.”

“Oh see,” Daniel grinned, “that was going to be my line.”

Lydia laughed and fit her head in the crook of his neck.

“We should go back to Chicago,” Daniel said softly. “In June or July. For our anniversary, after you settle in here, living with me. I want to go back to Chicago with you.”

“I would love that.”

“You do still want to move in here with me in May, right? You still want to live with me?”

“Yes, I want to live with you,” Lydia smiled, tracing delicate patterns on his chest. “Always.”

* * *

“I have something for you,” Jess whispered. He and Rory were wrapped in each other’s arms on the couch in her apartment, having just enjoyed five-star take out. They had planned to go out for dinner, but decided they preferred the quiet privacy of home.

“I have something for you too –for once,” Rory giggled. “Me first,” she moved to get up but Jess kept his arms wrapped tightly around her.

He pulled her to him and kissed her, slow and deep, letting his tongue be as possessive as his arms. When he released her lips, Rory was breathless. Jess chuckled as she took a second to regain her wits. “Sorry. Couldn’t help myself. Well? You promised me a present. Chop, chop, Gilmore,” he winked.

“Here,” Rory smiled, handing Jess his present.

Jess laughed at its telltale shape. “You got me a book, huh?”

“Not just any book. Open it.”

Jess tore through the thin wrapping paper and found himself holding a book from The Folio Society of England. It was in a slipcover, so he checked the spine for its title: _A Farewell to Arms_.

“Ror –from The Folio Society?” Jess whispered in awe, taking it out of the slipcover and carefully flipping through the pages. The novel was punctuated with original artwork, created specifically for this particular edition, depicting key scenes from the story. He looked at her and stayed quiet for a few seconds. “This is wonderful. Thank you,” he said quietly, caressing her face with his hand. “I love you, Rory.”

“I love you too,” Rory whispered back.

“Okay, my turn,” Jess said, getting up from the couch. He returned a moment later with the black jewelry box and handed it to Rory.

Rory untied the ribbon carefully and removed the lid delicately. What she saw took her breath away. Inside the jewelry box was a sterling silver pendant necklace; a small, bezel set diamond sparkled from the center of a filigree flower with an intricate scroll pattern. “Jess, this is beautiful,” she said quietly, a lump rising in her throat. “Thank you,” Rory looked at him, her eyes glazed over with tears. “I love you.”

Jess leaned forward and gently caught her tears with him thumbs as he cradled her face in his hands. His dark brown eyes bore into her glistening blue ones; he said nothing and sat there, holding her face and gaze for several minutes before tilting his head and capturing her lips with his.

As he kissed her, Jess eased Rory down on her back. Rory blindly fumbled to put the jewelry box on the coffee table without breaking their embrace. She wrapped her legs around Jess’ waist and locked her heels together behind his back, grinding her hips up eagerly. With her hands now free, she started to undo the buttons on her shirt, but Jess stopped her.

When she squirmed under him and whined into his mouth for stilling her hands, he smiled against her lips. “Please let me undress you,” he breathed. “It’s way more fun for you when I do it.”

Rory instantly felt the warmth of arousal flood between her legs. Jess felt it too and he laughed against her skin. They both loved knowing what they did to one another. Jess started kissing his way down her neck, pausing frequently to suck gently on her flesh. Licking his way down the center of her neck, he slowly moved Rory’s hands to rest on his shoulders. He undid the buttons on her shirt one by one, kissing each new inch of skin exposed as he worked his way down.

With her shirt undone, Rory wriggled out of it easily and tossed it aside. But now, Jess was holding her hips in his hands as she continued to grind her pelvis up, desperate for friction. Jess let his nose lightly graze her sex –even through her jeans, the smell of her wetness was enough to make his jaw clench, a low moan escaping his throat. He discarded her jeans and panties quickly.

As Jess kissed his kissed and licked his way back up Rory’s body, she gripped the hem of his shirt and pulled it off, leaning up to kiss his throat, his shoulders and catch his nipple between her teeth.

“Fuck,” Jess hissed. “I really love it when you do that.”

Rory released Jess’ nipple and leaned up further to whisper in his ear. “Take your pants off.”

Jess obliged and freed himself quickly before sinking his weight back onto Rory. He reached down between them and started moving his fingers in lazy circles before teasing her clit, just enough to make her writhe underneath him and cry out. He let his fingers enter her warm, wet core and Rory felt the tickle within her build. Soon the pleasure would overwhelm her.

As Jess found a rhythm with his fingers, Rory reached down and took his length in her hand and started pumping him in time with his own movements inside her.

“Oh God, Rory that feels so good. Don’t stop –don’t stop,” Jess begged breathlessly.

Rory shook her head slightly and bit her lip, whimpering loudly and hoping to prolong the pleasure.

“Oh, Jesus –that feels too fucking good, Ror. I can’t –I won’t last. Don’t make me wait; I need to be –“

Rory steadied her grip on Jess’ length, slid herself off of his fingers and guided him inside of her before he could finish his sentence. “Mmmm, Jess, Jess!” she panted.

Jess reached for both of Rory’s hands and moved them above her head, intertwining all ten of their fingers. Moving Rory’s hand up allowed him to deepen his thrusts. He buried his head in the side of her neck and grunted as he started sliding out of her in long, slow, hard movements.

“Just like that, Jess. You feel so good. Oh God, don’t stop.”

Jess shook his head against her neck and grunted breathlessly. “Never,” he rasped out, “never.”

Rory whimpered, writhed and yipped every time Jess buried himself inside of her. When each thrust hit the hilt and could go no farther, a moan escaped Jess’ throat and he squeezed Rory’s hands.

They wound one another as tightly as they could, before finding their powerful release together.

Rory snuggled against Jess and pulled her blue throw blanket up around them.

“Do you want to sleep in the bedroom?” Jess asked.

“Doesn’t really matter to me,” Rory said contentedly. “You’re here, we have our blanket –I’ve got everything I need.”

Jess smiled crookedly and kissed the top of Rory’s head. “I really love you.”

“I really love you too, Jess.”

“I’m going to love you forever,” he whispered, drifting off to sleep.

“I like forever,” Rory yawned. “Forever is a good plan.”

* * *

The next few months passed with blissful normalcy. Rory was busy at work; Lydia was busy at work.

Daniel and Jess were in the middle of their final exams and bringing a close to what was technically their senior undergraduate year at Temple. Both would be starting their Master’s in the fall. Jess would have the eccentric Stanley Famlookins for his advisor.

Then, on April twentieth, there was a news alert –only a yellow one, so the first person who saw it didn’t pay much heed. That yellow news alert was the S.O.S. signal for what would become one of the biggest stories of the year –and the largest environmental disaster in U.S. history.

What was originally billed as a story about eleven missing oil rig workers was in fact not the big story –by a long shot. There was an explosion at Deepwater Horizon, causing an oil rig to sink and create a massive offshore oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

This oil spill would kick Rory and Lydia’s jobs into high gear and catapult them into a new stratosphere of journalism.


	55. Chapter 55

“I just want you to be careful, Hun,” Lorelai said to Rory over the phone. It was four days after the oil spill started and Rory had just told her that the _Inquirer_ was sending her to Louisiana.

Rory could hear William fussing in the background. “I will, Mom.”

“Can’t you make your calls and get statements and do interviews over the phone?”

“Nobody led with the spill, Mom. Everyone thought the story was the missing workers. Deepwater Horizon has been drilling at eighteen thousand feet below sea level; take the Grand Canyon, make it three times deeper, fill it with water and poke a hole in the bottom –you can’t just yank the pin out of the thing and stick the pin back in. The well has been leaking at a rate of like, one hundred thousand gallons _an hour_ and they have no idea how to cap it off.

“Everyone led with the wrong story, including us. Dead workers are a tragedy, yes, but this is the largest oil spill –if not the largest environmental disaster- in U.S. history. Halliburton was hired to seal the well with cement when the rig was due to move –they did tests on the cement, tests that showed the cement would fail. They have to build relief wells manually and that’s going to take upwards of three months –three months of oil spilling into the Gulf at a rate of four point two million gallons a day. The oil reached Louisiana shores within seventy-two hours –”

“Wow, okay. So, big story.”

“Big story.”

“It sounds like you’ve already written it.”

“The facts, yes. But they’re sending me to investigate the situation and report back. The _Inquirer_ is Philadelphia’s biggest paper, the only daily and they’re sending me –just me. They trust me alone, with a photographer to come back with the human side of this story. They’re trusting me to make this real –to impress upon all of our readers how dire this is.”

Lorelai smiled to herself. “I’m proud of you, Rory.”

“Thanks. I’m reporting on an environmental disaster Mom, not a mob hit. I’ll be fine.”

“I know. How long will you be gone?”

“I don’t know,” Rory said. “A few days, at least. I’ll be filing from there. This thing is going to get worse before it gets better –a lot worse. Louisiana might not be the only place they send me to. It could be pretty serious in Florida and Atlanta, too.” William started to cry. “Sounds like someone needs to be fed –or changed.”

“Yeah, one of those two. But mostly, he’s worried about his big sister.”

“He’s five months old,” Rory laughed.

“He’s extremely advanced,” Lorelai replied, “a genius. You spent an entire month with him after he was born, he’s bonded to you –and he’s worried about you.”

“Give him a kiss for me. And extra cuddles.”

“Of course. Keep me posted? Call me, let me know how things are going.”

“I will.”

“Boil your water before you drink it, and don’t go swimming.”

“I love you, Mom. Say hi to Luke. I’ll talk to you soon, okay? Promise.”

Lorelai hung up the phone and sighed. “Your sister’s off to run the world,” she told William. “I’m very proud of her, but sometimes I wish she was lazier… yes I do. I do wish your sister was lazier, I do.”

“Rory’s off to Louisiana, huh?” Luke asked.

“Yeah.”

“She’ll be fine. She’s the best one to get the story. This is a huge disaster –the depth of that rig is three times the size of the Grand Canyon, not something you can just stick a pin back into.”

“She said exactly the same thing. Have you talked to her? Like, before I did?”

“No. I was talking to Jess last night and he just told me what she told him,” Luke said, scooping little William out of Lorelai’s arms. “This little guy needs to be changed, huh? Let’s go, mini-me. Try not to pee on my face this time okay? Yeah, let’s go.”

Lorelai laughed. “Jam hands don’t seem so bad now, huh?”

“I can’t wait for jam hands,” Luke smiled. “No one else’s though, just his. I refuse to deal with jam hands that don’t belong to my own kid.”

* * *

Lydia was sent to Louisiana to cover the oil spill as well, but she was back in Philadelphia three days later. Rory stayed upwards of a week and her boss at the _Inquirer_ told her she’d be going to both Florida and Atlanta within a month to report on the situations there. He told her to be prepared to go back to all three states –and possibly beyond- intermittently over the next three months to provide consistent updates on the state of the crisis.

Jess missed Rory while she was gone; as soon as she got back from one place, she was home for a few days and then off to somewhere else. The _Inquirer_ certainly trusted her to report the entire story on her own. For the first time in his life, Jess started buying the paper every morning, his heart bursting with love and pride as he read Rory’s comprehensive coverage of the Deepwater Horizon disaster and its dire aftermath.

Rory’s absence right after the spill coincided with Jess’ final exam schedule; he’d never tell her as much, but he was grateful some days, to be able to cram and prepare without worrying about being anti-social.

Daniel had a lot on his plate as well –he too was studying for finals, and pulling several double shifts at the restaurant where he worked in order to pay off Lydia’s ring. If he was nervous about the impending proposal, he didn’t show it much. Lydia didn’t really question why he was working so much, but she did worry that he would burn out.

They booked their trip to Chicago –they’d be there from June twenty-seventh to July fifth. Daniel prayed that Rory’s schedule would ease up –if only slightly- so that he could tell her what was going to happen.

Lydia moving in with Daniel and Jess moving into Rory’s apartment happened in small phases, mostly after the guys were done with finals. Over the course of Rory’s frequent trips, Lydia’s things slowly disappeared from the apartment and Jess’ belongings took their place.

“I feel like I should be around for this,” Rory sighed, wrapping her arms around Jess. “This is big. We’re gonna live together.”

“I know,” Jess whispered, kissing Rory’s neck.

“Lydia’s moving out –I feel like I’m missing everything.”

“You’re not ‘missing everything’ Ror. You’re working. You’ve been pretty much solely entrusted with reporting the biggest environmental disaster in our history, for the biggest paper in the city. No one’s mad at you.”

“I know. I just wish I was around more –so that I could feel like I’m a part of all this,” Rory sighed.

“You are part of it. Think of it this way –you’re skipping the pandemonium and mess of everyone around you moving. You should feel lucky –you get to skip the stress and frustration and cut right to reaping the benefits,” Jess smirked.

“I guess that’s true,” Rory smiled. “Jess –we’re going to live together!”

“Yes, we are. I love you Rory.”

“I love you too.”

* * *

By the beginning of June, Rory was travelling a little less. They still hadn’t capped the well, but barring any huge shift in events, she was able to monitor and report on the situation from her own office.

Rory came home from work one day to find Daniel sitting in her living room. “Hey Dan,” she smiled, looking around.

“Lydia’s not here –she’s still at work,” Daniel said.

“Oh, okay. Are you here to grab some of her stuff?”

“No. I –I wanted to talk to you actually.”

“Sure. Is everything okay?” Rory asked, crossing the room and sitting down next to Daniel.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.”

“Then... what’s up?”

“You know Lydia and I are going to Chicago in a few weeks…”

“Yeah. I’m super excited for you guys.”

“And she’ll be fully moved into my apartment by next week... staying there.”

“I know. We’re doing a girls weekend, to celebrate. I won’t be lonely Daniel –as soon as Lydia starts staying with you, Jess will be here. I might be alone for a night or two, but I’ll be okay,” Rory laughed. “You’re only right upstairs.”

“I know, I didn’t mean –”

“Daniel, you’re starting to make me nervous. Should I be nervous?”

"No.”

“What’s going on?”

“When Lydia and I go to Chicago, I –I,” Daniel stammered and laughed nervously before taking a deep breath and reaching into his pocket. “I’m going to ask her to marry me,” he said quietly.

“What? Really?” Rory asked.

Daniel pulled the ring box out of his pocket, opened it and held it in his palm for Rory to see, without saying a word.

When Rory saw the delicate, pink sapphire and diamond halo ring, her hand flew to her mouth. After about ten seconds, she looked up at Daniel, tears filling her eyes. “This is amazing! Dan, I’m so happy for you!”

“You are?”

“You were worried that I might not be? Of course I am!” Rory squealed, wrapping her arms around him. “That ring is amazing. It’s perfect for her. You’re gonna ask her to marry you!”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” he offered in a small voice, putting the ring box down and hugging her.

“Why are you sorry? It’s fine,” Rory sniffled. “This is so great!”

“I think so,” Daniel smiled. “Can you keep the secret?”

“It’s a little late to be asking me that now. If I said no you’d be screwed,” Rory laughed. “Of course I can.”

Daniel smiled, blushing. “Good.”

“Wait –did you and Jess –our anniversary in February, he got me a necklace; did he get the necklace while you were…?”

“Wow. Way to put a puzzle with not a lot of pieces together. How’d you figure that out?”

“I’m a reporter. It’s my job to first find the puzzle and then put it together.”

“Fair.”  
  
“You and Jess in a jewelry store –that’s something I’d like to see.”

“It was interesting,” Daniel laughed.

* * *

“To the end of an era, and the beginning of a new one!” Rory said, clinking glasses with Lydia.

“It really is, isn’t it?” Lydia smiled. “I’ve loved living with you Rory, so much. I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too –but see, a bonus to all of us living in the same building is that no one will ever miss anyone _too much_. If we start yearning for the good old days, I’ll just boot Jess upstairs.”

“Yes. I like this plan.”

“So, big anniversary coming up, huh?” Rory winked. “You excited?”

“Yeah. Things have been so crazy with moving that I almost forgot about it,” Lydia laughed. “But it’ll be great. Daniel and I are excited to go back to Chicago; where things _really_ started.”

“It’ll be great. I wish Jess and I had the energy to do something big and romantic like that.”

“Hey now. Jess is plenty romantic underneath all that sarcasm –I’ve seen it. Besides, you guys weathered twice as much excitement by the time you hit your two-year mark than Daniel and I are likely to see before _he_ turns thirty –and he’s younger than me. You and Jess have earned a few comfortable lulls. Not everything is about the big gesture.”

“True.”

“Mark my words, Rory –give him a year, maybe two and Jess will pull out all the stops somehow,” Lydia said with a twinkle in her eye.

“Whatever you’re thinking –”

“I’m calling bullshit on that one –you know exactly what I’m thinking. And I don’t think it, I know it –you know it too. If you don’t, you should march back to the hallowed halls of Yale and Chilton and demand your money back, because clearly they didn’t educate you enough,” Lydia laughed.

“I could shock and amaze you with the scores of information I have, Miss Shirley,” Rory giggled. “I may even know some things that you don’t know.”

“Can you spell the word chrysanthemum?”

“I most certainly can! C-h-r-y-s-a-n-t-h- _e_ -m-u-m.”

“Very good! Mistaking that _e_ for an _a_ is only an error that an entirely hubris individual would make.”

“Hubris on Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe looks a lot like love,” Rory pointed out.

“It does. Hey, should I be worried that Daniel and I don’t fight more? Maybe he doesn’t love me,” Lydia said sarcastically.

Rory shook her head as she took a drink of her sangria. “Nah. Jess and I have done our fair share of fighting –trust me, you’re not missing anything. If you can have real, true love without wanting to strangle the guy, that’s probably best. You do fight sometimes though, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well then, congratulations –you’re a normal couple. If you were a Stepford from Pleasantville, I’d happily instigate some knock-down, drag-outs for you, but –you’re safe.”

“You and Jess haven’t really fought in a while, have you?"

“No, we really haven’t. Gosh that’s nice!” Rory laughed.

“To not fighting,” Lydia said, raising her glass.

“To not fighting.”

* * *

“Do you know what’s happening, Ror? Pretty much as we speak?”

“Do I know what’s happening?”

“Didn’t Daniel talk to you? About Chicago? He didn’t, did he? You have no idea what I’m talking about.”

“Oh! Yeah! Yeah, he was waiting for me about a week and a half ago when I got home from work. He told me, Jess. It’s fantastic! Isn’t it fantastic?”

“It really is. I’m super happy for them.”  
  
“And that ring! Seriously impressive! How much help did he have?”

“Surprisingly little. None from me –and only minor guidance from Tina. Once Dani Boy told her that Lydia liked pink and had tiny hands, she pulled out one big pillow of rings with pink sapphires and that’s the one he picked –all by himself.”

“Tina?”

“Oh –the jewelry store owner. Small place. We were the only ones there and she was the only person working.”

“Sounds like you made a new friend there, Dodger.”

“It’s a small place, Rory; I’m pretty sure the women who work there are on a first-name basis with all of their customers.”

“Still. You and Daniel in a jewelry store together is something I would’ve very much liked to see.”

“It was interesting.”

“That’s exactly what Daniel said. So while he was pouring over engagement rings, what did you look at?”

“I found your necklace.”

“You’re telling me that you chose a necklace in the same amount of time it took Daniel to settle on an _engagement ring_?”

“Pretty much. I’m very indecisive.”

“No you’re not.”

“I am when I’m in a jewelry store.”

“Fine. I suppose I can concede that in a jewelry store, you might be a little overwhelmed. Rest easy, dear boyfriend –you made a beautiful choice, well worth all the time you poured into the decision.”

“All that sparkle –it’s a good thing I’m not prone to seizures, otherwise all the twinkly, shiny things could’ve been dangerous –life-threatening even.”

“It is a good thing. I think I’d be rather inconsolable if I lost you now. I kinda like you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I think I’d like to keep you –forever, if that’s okay.”

“Well that’s a relief –considering we’re officially living together now. I’d hate for you to decide I’m not your thing anymore –just as soon as I’d gotten all my stuff in here and we’d successfully found a way to merge all our books.”

“For the sake of the books –this _must_ work out, Jess.”

“It will. Hey –we live together.”

“We _do_ live together.”

“Are you happy, Ror?”

“The happiest. I love you so much, Jess. You’d think I’d stop being surprised by the fact that I just love you more and more, but –I’m so happy we got here.”

“I love you too, Rory –more than you know. Being with you and knowing that I get to fall asleep with my arms around you every night and wake up to you every morning –it’s the most amazing feeling.”

“It really is, Jess –it really is."

* * *

“God, what a beautiful night!” Lydia smiled as she and Daniel wandered through Chicago’s Millennium Park.

“Yeah, it really is,” Daniel agreed quietly, watching Lydia twirl around with her arms out. He was utterly transfixed with the way her peach coloured dress and her red hair surrounded her in a halo of gentle fire. They were nearing the bean and he stuck his hand in his pocket nervously for the umpteenth time, making sure that he hadn’t forgotten the ring.

“Did you know the first time we came here that we’d be back now and still together after all this time?”

“I knew I loved you, so yeah –I mean, I hoped so.”

Lydia walked underneath the bean and looked up, laughing at her multiple reflections. She stood by herself at the very center and because she was alone, her laughter echoed off the curved walls like a soft bell. It was the most beautiful sound Daniel had ever heard.

The sun was setting and the sky was a deep red, just like Lydia’s hair. Daniel laughed easily, watching her joy; he felt his cheeks grow hot and when her blue eyes locked with his brown ones, he took a deep breath. “The time is now,” he whispered to himself, running a hand through his dark hair.

Lydia stretched her arm out, waiting for him to take her hand; conveniently, it was her left hand.

Daniel smiled as he closed the distance between them and took her outstretched hand gently. He stopped about half a foot in front of her and kissed her knuckles. “I’ve loved you, I think, from the instant you first offered me your hand. Something happened that day, at Truncheon –the first time I ever touched you, there was a spark. Did you feel it?”

Lydia smiled lovingly and nodded.

“This is where I first told you I loved you, Lydia. But really, I’ve loved you since the day I first laid eyes on you. You’re everything I never knew I was missing –I thought my life was complete, but when I met you I realized I was wrong,” Daniel paused and reached into his pocket as he slowly bent his knee, timing his decent with the words he had left to say.

As soon as he moved, Lydia clutched his hand tightly. “Daniel... what are you doing?”

“I have no idea where life is going to take us, Lydia. But I do know that no matter what happens, I want to be with you always. I’m hoping that we’re two years into a lifetime together.”

“Oh my God…”

“I don’t know what your plans are for the rest of your life, but whatever they are I hope you’ll have enough room to let me be beside you. I don’t need much to be content; as long as I have you it doesn’t matter what happens –everything will be okay. From the day you entered my life, it was impossible for me to picture what things were like before I knew you. I hope, now that I have you, that I never have to find out how I could possibly live without you.” Daniel pulled out the ring and held it carefully between his fingers. “Will you marry me?”

Before Lydia even registered the lump in her throat, tears spilled down her cheeks. She tried to smile, but she couldn’t –for crying. She barely noticed the ring Daniel was carefully holding, poised to slip it onto her finger; the only thing she noticed was how intensely it sparkled, shining brightly as light reflected off all the tiny diamonds and the center sapphire and bounced off the reflective walls of the bean. At its center, Lydia didn’t clearly see the sapphire, but she noticed that it seemed to shine in a soft pink hue.

By now, a small crowd had gathered. Both Daniel and Lydia faintly registered the gasps of strangers.

Lydia blinked hard, forcing the moisture to stop flowing from her eyes. Focusing on the ring for the first time, it rendered her breathless. _Look at Daniel_ , she thought, _look at Daniel, find your words and tell him…._ “Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, Daniel. I’ll marry you.”

“You will?” Daniel asked shakily as his eyes started to sting. He couldn’t register the feeling of the moisture that tumbled down his face; he couldn’t remember the last time he cried. He didn’t mean to second-guess himself or Lydia either, but he was sure he’d heard her wrong; if there was one time he wanted make sure he didn’t misunderstand her with his hopeful ear, it was now.

“Yes. Of course I will.”

That was all Daniel needed. He slipped the ring carefully onto Lydia’s finger, where it would forever stay –it was a perfect fit. Standing up slowly, he took her face gently in his hands and wiped away her tears. “I love you, Carrots,” he whispered, rubbing their noses together softly.

“I don’t want sunbursts or marble halls. I just want you,” Lydia smiled.

Daniel laughed joyfully and kissed her, lifting Lydia off her feet without opening his eyes. She was only five foot two and very easy to scoop up into his strong arms. She was lighter than air this time if for no other reason than that Daniel knew, for the rest of their lives he’d get to hold her and only her, just like this, whenever he wanted; his arms were made to hold her. He had to break their kiss to let more happy sobs escape his chest.

“I love you, Daniel,” Lydia said softly. “I love you so much.”

The small crowd that was watching had now erupted into impressively loud cheers. Someone insisted on taking each of their phones and snapping pictures of them together on both devices. 

After the onlookers dispersed and they took some time to bask in the moment together, they called their parents. The third call was to Jess and Rory.

“DAN THE MAN!!” Jess laughed loudly.

“Only time that’s allowed,” Daniel sighed.

“Oh no it’s not –on your wedding day I refuse to call you anything else. Lydia, can I call him Dan The Man?”

“Excuse me –”

“Hey dude, happy wife, happy life right? What she says goes and if she says I can –”

Lydia laughed. “It’s fine by me.”

“See? Dan The Man!”

“Rory, how do you feel about bridesmaids dresses?” Lydia asked.

“Amazing,” Rory answered. “As long as you don’t cover me in big bows and taffeta.”

“I promise not to,” she laughed.

“I’m so happy for you, Lydia! Daniel, did the ring fit?”

“Perfectly,” Daniel smiled.

“Perfectly, as in _perfectly_?” Jess questioned. “You’re lying. By the way, because I know you’re going to rope me to be a groomsman, I’m telling the rest of them about your new nickname for the day, too.”

“Great,” Daniel sighed, “some best friend you are.”

“You love me. You know it’s true –there’s no use in denying it.”

“Oh how I wish I _could_ deny it.”

“Daniel’s not lying,” Lydia promised Jess. “I swear on you calling him Dan The Man. The ring’s a perfect fit.”

“Well done, Daniel,” Rory laughed. “Those are some seriously coveted brownie points that very few men can claim.”

“Thanks!”

“Anyway, you guys go! Celebrate! You have better things to do than gab with us! Details when you get home!”

Jess started chuckling as Rory hung up the phone.

“What’s so funny, Jess?”

“Nothing’s funny –I’m happy that’s all,” Jess answered.

“Yeah,” Rory sighed contentedly. “I’m happy for them too. They’re perfect.”

“And now they’re getting married. We done good, Gilmore!”

“We did, didn’t we? See? You didn’t even vomit –despite how abundantly adorable they are.”

“Not yet anyway. The wedding planning might prove to be the straw that breaks the gag reflex,” he laughed.

“Jess!”

“What? I love them, you know I do –but it’s true!”

“Oh, so vomit is now the ultimate symbol of your love for two of your closest friends?”

“Exactly. My vomit will signify nothing but the fact that I care.” 

“You’re terrible!” Rory laughed.

“Whatever –they’ll know it’ll be a sign of the utmost devotion. And laugh all you want, missy. What do you wanna bet that Lydia chooses a pink dress for you?”

“Ugh. I should have been more specific in my caveats. Most pinks look awful on me.”

“See –see what happens when you mock me? I may very well have the last laugh.”

“Bite your tongue.”

“Nah, I like it better when you bite my tongue for me,” Jess smirked seductively.

“Works for me,” Rory whispered, straddling his lap and leaning down to whisper in his ear. “After all, we done good –we should celebrate.”


	56. Chapter 56

“Well, your history is certainly colourful, Mariano,” Stanley Famlookins observed with a smirk, taking one last look over the file holding Jess’ information before tossing it onto a leaning tower of books and kicking his feet up on his desk. “Just when I thought my own academic laziness could never be matched –it appears my reigning title of most intelligent slacker might be in jeopardy. How’d a pretty boy like you go from high school dropout to having a fifth of a stake in a local publishing company and end up here, doing impressively well in such a hard program?”

“Well,” Jess chuckled. “I’d say that it’s an interesting story, but…”

“Oh Christ. If you tell me that it’s all because of some pretty girl, I’ll kick your ass.”

Jess bit his lip and laughed.

“No shit. Does she know that her doe-eyes saved your skin?”

“Yeah.”

“I haven’t gotten around to reading your books yet –they’re not love stories, are they?” Stanley asked with a sigh.

“I haven’t read all of yours yet either. And no –well, the first one isn’t. The second one, to the uneducated reader is a love story –but I wrote it as a microcosm of the human experience, which just so happens to deal with love –and the soul-crushing pain that comes with it.”

“We’ll get along fine, Jess,” Stanley smiled and laughed under his breath. “Just don’t fuck with me.”

“No sir.”

“My name isn’t Sir, it’s Stan. You get one free pass with that one and you just used it up.”

“Right. Sorry. Stan.”

“And don’t bother reading my books. They’re not nearly as good as I’m sure you’re assuming they are. I will be reading yours though and I will tell you _exactly_ what I think of them.”

“Your books must be well written. They were good enough to get published,” Jess offered. “And you’re a Master’s advisor for a creative writing focus.”

“Yeah but that isn’t saying much. Nowadays anyone with an imagination and the ability to put pen to paper or type on a keyboard calls themselves ‘writers’. Have you noticed the bullshit that passes for literature these days? You wanna read anything good, you gotta go back at least thirty years.”

“I work in a publishing house –we don’t really deal in mainstream stuff, for that very reason.”

“You still with her?” Stan asked, abandoning their digression suddenly.

“With who?” Jess asked, momentarily confused.

“Doe-eyed girl who saved your skin and made you realize your truly limitless potential,” he clarified sarcastically.

“Going on five years. Longer if you count all the years we spent not getting it right.”

“ _No shit!_ ” Stan laughed –his deep, throaty voice escaping his chest in cackles. The sound of it was faintly reminiscent of Mr. Burns’ laugh from _The Simpsons_ , but far more sinister and affective.

Stan Famlookins was in his late forties; he had a receding hairline, but his head was still full of thick, tightly curled brown hair, with the odd white streak. Behind small, perfectly round John Lennon-esque glasses, his blue eyes were still piercing despite being scrunched up in laughter. He had stubble on his face and a very slight gap between his two front teeth. He was a slender man –but not skinny and his entire body vibrated with the force of his laughter. “Did she know you when you were –”

“Reading _Slaughterhouse Five_ instead of writing my math finals? Yeah.”

“Who can blame you for that? I’ll take Vonnegut over math any day. Hell, Mariano, why do you think I went into English Lit? No math, that’s why. I taught high school for a while and every time I handed back a test I told the students to look at their grades and make sure I added up their marks right.”

Jess smirked. “Exactly! I hated the fact that so much math was required for an English Degree. Seriously, I nearly blew a gasket for my first little while here. After my GED I was in no mood to find out I needed to do _more_ math.”

“Oh I know. It’s fucking ridiculous. I keep trying to tell them, but they don’t listen to me. Which is disappointing, considering I have a reputation for being able to strike fear in people’s hearts. Well listen,” Stan sighed, still chucking. “I’m glad you’re still with…”

“Rory.”

“I loved a girl like that once, right around the same age it sounds like you met Rory. We made plans to go to the same university, even. We didn’t want to be apart.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah –so in love. A week into our first year she dumped me,” he deadpanned. “I think she’s unhappily married now –which, if I’m being honest, makes me a little warm and fuzzy inside.”

Jess laughed hysterically. He liked this guy.

“So why did you choose to study Latin for your foreign language requirement? Didn’t you know that Latin’s a dead language? I see you aced it –do you have an affinity for dead things, Jess?”

“That’s a loaded question if I’ve ever heard one. Touché,” Jess smiled.

“Loaded questions delivered with dry wit are my specialty,” Stan explained.

“Mine too.”

“I’ll be the judge of that –starting with how you answer mine. So? Why Latin? I could argue that you couldn’t have made a more useless choice.”

“Not so. First of all, no affinity for dead things per se, but Latin _is_ dead easy –forgive the pun.”

“Never. Never ask to be forgiven for puns. If they’re bad enough that you should, rest assured, I’ll tell you.”

Jess chuckled. “So many words are rooted in Latin –the language as a whole might’ve died out, but it serves as the base for so many others –possibly none so much as English itself. Without Greek and Latin, the English language would scarcely exist at all. I was interested in studying the basis for modern language –taking a course in the history of language itself. By having a working understanding of Latin, it means that countless other languages will be that much easier to comprehend. Any lover of literature should first and foremost be a lover of language.”

“Round one goes to the plucky kid with the crooked mouth,” Stan nodded approvingly.

* * *

“Is it terrible? I’m sorry,” Lydia said with an apologetic smile.

“Why are you sorry?” Rory asked.

“I know you don’t wear a lot of pink and here I am, telling you that I’ve chosen pink bridesmaid dresses.”

“Don’t be silly. It’s true, pink usually washes me out –but this has black in it too, so it’ll be fine. Plus, it’s gorgeous.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Really.”

“I’m glad,” Lydia smiled. “Is it too expensive?”

“I have a pretty good job,” Rory laughed. “Really Lydia, stop worrying.”

Lydia sighed. “I’m just so stressed. Getting married in Ottawa but not being in Ottawa to plan it is –plus, with Daniel in school…”

“That’s what you get for planning a wedding while he’s still in school, deciding to get married the second he graduates. The beautiful man can’t help much.”

“He’s actually doing quite a bit –it’s not as much of a stilted planning party as you might think. It’s just a lot.”

“Fair. Is he enjoying his Master’s so far? I mean I know I see him a lot, but not as much as you do, or Jess does. He seems to like it though.”

“He does. It’s challenging for him, but in the good kinds of ways. He’s really happy with his supervisor too. Apparently he and Stanley Famlookins are very much alike in humour and they have a bit of a friendly rivalry thing going.”

Rory laughed. “Yeah, Jess told me about that. I guess he and this Jim Moxwill guy have even had some friendly banters over who has the better M.A. candidate –all purely based on who they chose as their advisor.”

“We must arrange to be flies on the wall at some point. It’s hardly October and I’m already dying to meet these guys.”

“Agreed. We should start working on it. With any luck, we’ll have worn them down by Christmas.”

“I can’t believe I’m getting married in less than a year, Rory,” Lydia said quietly, staring at her ring and smiling at the way it caught the light.

“I can’t believe you got engaged in July and set a date for June. You’re not doing yourself any favours in the stress department. It’s hard for anyone to plan a wedding in under a year.”

“I know. But it’s just barely under a year –eleven months. And June seemed good –and not because I’m obsessed with being a June bride. Daniel’s parents and my parents have their wedding anniversaries in June –Daniel’s brother too. Both of our families went to the same church for a few years, but they never knew each other well. When Daniel and I were deciding where to get married, going back to that church just made sense.”

“I didn’t know either of you were religious,” Rory said.

“We don’t really practice strictly.”

“Do you have to do marriage prep classes? That’s a thing if you’re having a religious ceremony right? They make you do a prep course or something.”

“Yeah. Because both our families have a history at the church, the priests know both Dan and I are here so,” Lydia started to laugh, “we’re doing it by correspondence.”

“Seriously? They allow that?”

“Not usually. But like I said, both our families have a history with this church, so they’re making allowances. We Skype with the priests.”

Rory laughed loudly. “No way. Are you serious?”

“Yup.”

“That’s kind of amazing. Wait –they don’t know that you and Daniel live together, do they? Isn’t that like, seriously frowned upon?”

“Yeah, they don’t know that part,” Lydia admitted with a smile.

“Living dangerously. I like it!”

* * *

“My God Lane, everyone’s getting married,” Rory sighed.

“Yeah, that tends to happen. But hey, at least you know you won’t die a lonely spinster –because, Jess,” Lane laughed.

“It’s so weird that I can see you! It’s like you’re here,” Rory laughed excitedly.

“You’re a reporter and you’re still so unaccustomed to Skype that it makes you giddy. I really love you, Rory. I’m glad we’re best friends.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know that I use Skype all the time for work. Jess is the Luddite, not me. Him and the guys at Truncheon are currently involved in a heated debate about whether they should cave to the social media machine and open a Twitter account for the business.”

“What’s the big deal?” Lane questioned. “I mean, they have a Facebook page for Truncheon already…”

“Yes, they do. But Facebook is a more civilized social media platform that lets you _actually_ express yourself in a thoughtful way –so they’re fine with that. Twitter limits you to a hundred and forty characters, which they think is asinine; they believe that Twitter is a ‘social media tool’ mascaraing as a narcissistic corruption of electronic communication.”

“Wow, so they have _no_ love for the Twitterverse.”

“Nope,” Rory confirmed. “They pretty much believe that Twitter is the devil’s social media. Twitter is evil and the more people that use it –and if Truncheon caves and jumps on the Twitter bandwagon, to quote Rupert Giles, ‘The earth is doomed.’”

Lane laughed. “Count on Joss Whedon to have an answer for everything, including Twitter’s hellish origins a decade before it even existed.”

“Seriously, right?”

“You’ll have to keep me in the loop about how the great Truncheon Twitter Debate of 2010 pans out. I want all the latest developments, Ms. Gilmore,” Lane quipped.

“I will report on this ongoing story with nothing but full commitment. I will pour my heart and soul into getting at the real truth of the matter,” Rory assured her.

“Rory,” Lane started carefully, “does the fact that everyone seems to be getting married –does it bother you that right now, you’re one of the only ones out of all your friends that isn’t engaged, planning a wedding or already married yet?”

“That’s not true –Paris and Doyle aren’t engaged yet,” Rory offered weakly.

“Rory, you know what I mean,” Lane said gently.

“I know. And yeah, it’s a little weird –the same way it might be weird for anyone who watches her closest friends get married one by one when I’m not. But I’m not single and lonely. Jess and I are together –we are going to get married, we both know that. We’re sure of it.

“But the timing just isn’t right, right now. He’s started his Master’s year and is buried in work, classes and TA responsibilities. I’m busy at work and we feel no need to rush into planning a wedding when he has so much on his plate and we’re still just a few months into living together.

“Daniel and Lydia may be able to plan their dream wedding in the midst of Daniel getting his Master’s and that’s wonderful for them. But they’re a vastly different couple than Jess and I are. Jess and I know that trying to plan a wedding while he’s working doggedly hard on his Master’s Degree wouldn’t be the right move for us. And we’re okay with that. It’s not like I’m hiding pictures of rings under his pillow at night.

“We know that engagement and marriage are the next steps for us; miraculously, that doesn’t scare us. It’s comforting and exciting. We both agree that we should wait until Jess is done school before we start making plans. We want to be settled; to be living where we plan to settle down, which, who knows, might not even be in Philadelphia. We want to know even a little about what Jess’ job prospects and opportunities are after he graduates, and how both our careers might shift once he finishes his Degree; not just his, but mine too. Once we know that, we’ll start talking about it, like _really_ talking about it. When Jess is done at Temple, we’re going to make serious plans about the future –our future as a family.”

“Wow,” Lane whispered; it was the only thing she could say.

When Jess was finished school, he and Rory would finally be in the right place –the stars will have finally aligned in order to allow them to look to their future together and make the plans that would set it in motion.

“Yeah,” Rory said, a glowing smile spreading across her face, “wow. The most amazing kind of ‘wow’ there is.”

Lane sighed heavily as one of the twins stated crying.

“Babe,” Zach yelled from another room, “could use your help here!”

“Coming!” Lane called to him.

“Sorry Rory!” Zach shouted loud enough for Rory to hear.

“I’m sorry Rory, I should go. The Terrible Twos were nothing compared to the Thrashing Threes. All they do is scream and cry and throw things. They thrash around on the floor as soon as Zach and I utter the word ‘no’.”

“Yikes. Well when they calm down, tell them that Aunty Rory and Uncle Mess love them and miss them and give them a kiss for us –we’ll see them at Thanksgiving. Hug Zach too. Love you Lane; I’ll see you soon.”

“Love you too, Rory. Can’t wait to have you back here for a few days.”

“Kiss my baby brother for me when you see him, and hug Mom and Luke!”

“Hug and kiss them for me too!” Jess shouted, hearing the tail end of their conversation as he came in the door. “Hey Lane!” he smiled as he crouched down to look at Rory’s computer screen, kissing her cheek softly and holding her shoulders gently as he squatted behind her.

“Done, done, done, done, done, done, done and… done,” Lane said breathlessly. “Okay, I really have to go now. Love you guys!”

When the call was disconnected, Jess moved his hands to Rory’s face and turned her neck, kissing her deeply. “Hi,” he whispered, smiling crookedly. “Honey, I’m home.”

Rory felt a flutter in her heart at Jess’ words. She wrapped his arms tighter around her shoulders. “That will never fail to be the greatest thing to hear every day.”

Jess smiled and kissed her hair, closing his eyes to breathe in her scent. “I know,” he said softly.

“So,” Rory said, turning to him with a smile and gesturing for Jess to join her on the couch. “How’s the kooky, eccentric Famlookins doing these days? And Truncheon? How are the boys? –it’s strange, seeing them several times a week and yet feeling like they’re so far away. How goes the great Truncheon Twitter Debate?”

“Famlookins is good; crazy as always. Twitter? Twitter’s evil,” Jess said lowly, sighing in contempt. “You really wanna hear about Truncheon’s civil war over Tweetie Bird?”

“I do,” Rory smiled. “My stories are filed and I have all the time in the world to curl up in your arms and listen to you tell me all sorts of lunacy-filled tales.”

“Well, we’ve been arguing for the past week. Everyone sees the value in a Facebook page, because you can actually write proper information. But ‘tweeting’ momentary flights of fancy that can only be a hundred and forty characters long? It’s stupid. I have no idea how it got to be such a powerful medium. None of us do, but Andrew made the argument that even if we hate it, it’s still a powerful tool and it can help business –so we told him, ‘Good, great… you made the case for it, so go ahead and open a Twitter account for us –it’s your responsibility to manage.’”

“Oh, I bet that made him _real_ happy. I bet he’s regretting his words now, huh?” Rory giggled.

“Most definitely,” Jess laughed.

Rory sighed heavily.

“What’s wrong, Ror?” Jess asked, tucking her hair behind her ear carefully.

“Nothing.”

“Try again.”

“I’m just tired. That guy at work is still being weird.”

“Christ, really? How many times have you told him you’re not interested? That you’re taken? _Extremely_ taken?”

“A lot. He doesn’t care.”

“Is he making you feel unsafe?”

“No. His brain isn’t connected to his mouth, that’s all. He thinks it’s funny. He’s not actually threatening me or doing anything creepy –he just has a really inappropriate sense of humour. My boss knows about the situation; if it escalates even a little, he’ll step in.

“It’s weird too, you and I have been together so long and everyone knows we’re together. I’d forgotten what it’s like to be on the receiving end of someone’s persistent and clumsy attempts to hit on me.”

Jess laughed quietly and cradled Rory’s face. “Do you miss it?”

“Miss what?” Rory asked.

“Being the object of countless men’s’ affections, watching them line up to make clumsy attempts to win your heart.”

“No. I much prefer clumsy magic tricks –at least they’re endearing, as long as nothing gets pulled out of my ear. And lovely things… I like it when people make up ridiculous pickup lines about long dead authors having lovely things to say about me –very few people can carry that off and be smooth as silk,” she smirked.

“It is a gift, it’s true,” Jess laughed.

“Even more impressive is having that level of smoothness at seventeen.”

“Well, I knew what I wanted. Say what you will about me, I’m loyal to a fault –my heart’s never indecisive about the things that really matter. My actions might tell a different story, I know, but.”

“I love you, Jess,” Rory whispered, pulling his beard softly between her fingers and pressing her forehead against his.

“I love you too, Rory. If this guy gets any bolder –” Jess started.

“He won’t. If he does, it’ll be stopped. Promise. Everyone’s starting to wonder when we’re going to get engaged,” Rory said, changing the subject.

“Define ‘everyone’,” Jess smirked.

“Lydia, Lane –”

“Daniel too; the guys at Truncheon are starting to rib me about it even.”

“My mom, Luke…”

“ _Liz_ ,” Jess said with a shudder.

“See? Everyone,” Rory confirmed.

“Does it bother you? Are you disappointed we’re not engaged yet? If you’re ready to leave me because I’m taking too long, I’d appreciate fair warning so that I can mentally prepare myself for the downward tailspin,” he quipped.

"I’m not going anywhere,” she assured him. “Jess, the timing isn’t right yet. We know that. I think that because we’ve been together so long, people are getting anxious, that’s all.”

“Either that or they’re worried if we don’t make it legal, we’ll crash and burn.”

“No one thinks that –not anymore. We’re just at that age. Everyone’s getting married, so people are expecting us to –like, now.”

“Your grandparents haven’t started getting antsy have they?” Jess asked a little nervously.

“No,” Rory laughed. “I think they’re quite content to have an unmarried professionally thriving granddaughter with a loving, supportive boyfriend. They tried the whole pressure-to-wed thing with Logan and that –”

“Blew up in their faces?”

Rory was relieved that Logan’s name could be brought up every once and a while, without causing any weirdness or tension. “Yeah, it blew up in their faces,” she confirmed.

“Rory, listen to me,” Jess said gently. “It will happen. We’ll get there. I’m not afraid to commit to you. I’m not just stringing you along, I promise.”

“I never thought you were,” Rory laughed again. “It will happen when it’s right for both of us. It’ll happen when it happens. We’ll get there together. As long as we’re both on the same page –it’ll happen when it’s supposed to.”

Jess smiled at her familiar words, which she’d said to him the morning after the first time she showed up at Truncheon. “Ever with the perspective, you are,” he chuckled, kissing her delicately.

“Okay, so,” Rory smiled when the kiss broke, “tell me all the latest tales of the unpredictable and eccentric Stan Famlookins!”

“Well, today he went on a tirade about the Bronte’s, saying that he tried to read _Wuthering Heights_ last weekend but he was sick and feverish and delirious and when he came to his senses he chucked it against the wall.”

“Sacrilege!”

“I know, we fight about it all the time –it’s so much fun, going toe-to-toe with him –I think I might be one of the few people who can, consistently anyway.”

“How’d Victorian literature and the Bronte’s even come up? You’re doing your Master’s on the creative process of the Beat Generation.”

“Hell if I know –it came up. I think someone in one of his undergrad seminar classes started talking about the Bronte’s so he started ranting and raving about it to me. And apparently his editor trashed the entire draft of his newest novel and he has to start again –he’s not happy.”

“No, I wouldn’t be either.”

“And he’s freaking out about not having a title, ‘Damn it, Mariano! How am I supposed to publish a book without a title? I can’t call it _Untitled_ , that would be haughty, self-inflated and ridiculous!’ I told him I could be more help if he’d let me read a draft and he just said, ‘The draft my editor wants to set on fire? Not on your life, kid.’ I said ‘Too bad, so sad. If you _really_ want my help, let me know. I work in publishing, so I can _actually_ help.’ He laughed, threatened to fail me and told me to get the fuck out of his office.”

“You love him, don’t you?” Rory asked with a smirk.

“He’s the best,” Jess smiled.


	57. Chapter 57

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand what all the fuss is about,” Jess pressed.

“You’re a disgrace,” Stan shot back. “ _The Great Gatsby_ is one of the greatest works in American fiction.”

“I never said it was badly written –I said I don’t see what’s so amazing about it. A rich guy throws party after party after party and no one knows who he is? And then he disappears and people still never find out who he is –not really anyway. I get that it’s meant to be a commentary on the excessive luxuries of being rich in the Roaring Twenties; I understand why people study it. I’m just saying, I read it in one weekend and as soon as I closed the thing, I promptly forgot everything I’d just read.”

“Fine. Name some preeminent works of fiction in your humble opinion, then.”

“American?”

“Yes. Go.”

“ _Nineteen Eighty-Four_ , _Brave New World_ , _Catch 22_ , _Slaughterhouse Five_ , _Catcher In The Rye_ , _To Kill A Mockingbird_ , _Howl_ –”

“ _Brave New World_ and _Nineteen Eighty-Four_ aren’t American, they’re British, brain trust.”

“Fine, you’re right. But they’re still amazing.”

“Fair, I’ll let it slide –once. _Howl_?”

“Allen Ginsberg.”

“Right! Of course! God that was some fucked up stuff. I love it.”

“I had to prompt you to remember Allan Ginsberg and _I’m_ the disgrace?” Jess chuckled.

“I’m old and I did a lot of the same drugs as Ginsberg, I have an excuse. Keep laughing and I’ll smack you so hard that the right side of your mouth will be as crooked as the left,” Stan threatened.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Why? Would you have me fired?”

“No. I’d hit you back.”

“Good man. So, you’re a Hemingway buff –you must love that I’m teaching _The Sun Also Rises_ in my second year American Lit class that you’re TA-ing.”

“Yeah. I’ll never be so happy to be loaded with a stack of papers to grade.”

“Oh, you might regret that sentiment when you see how severely sophomores fail at writing coherent sentences and arguing a point properly. When you _do_ start regretting your sentiment, I’ll be right here –laughing at you.”

“Duly noted. People’s opinions are –interesting, at least.”

“You’re assuming they know what they’re talking about?”

“No. By ‘interesting’ I meant good for a laugh.”

“I knew I liked you. Which uneducated dimwit is your favourite puff of hot air these days?” Stan asked.

“Olivia –Palmerson I think?”

“Ah yes! The pretty blonde who insists that reading Hemingway is like watching a zombie film. She’s entertaining –mostly because I have no idea how she got into university, let alone made it to sophomore year. When you get to her essay, I want to read it with you over a beer –possibly several.”

“Done deal,” Jess laughed.

“Is she still giving you the eye?”

“Unfortunately, yeah. But mostly, I just get a kick out of it. She’s shameless! Her flirting is so bad, I can’t help but be amused and a little sad for her that she thinks it’ll get her anywhere.”

“It’s probably been highly successful in getting her laid by no shortage of brainless frat boys here on sports scholarships.”

“Yeah, but like you said –they’re brainless. It’s a little sad that she thinks it’ll work on her TA, who clearly has _working_ brain cells.”

“Have you told her that you’re already happily taken by another doe-eyed woman?”

“Rory’s not as doe-eyed as you think, Stan.”

“Maybe not now. But I bet she was positively glowing with innocence when you guys were younger wasn’t she, Jess? You probably corrupted her.”

Jess laughed.

“Ah-ha!” Stan said triumphantly. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

“You’re not _entirely_ wrong –but that’s a whole other story.”

“When do I get to meet her and size her up for myself?”

“Soon, I promise. After the holidays maybe? She has my schedule; I can get her to pop in after work one day when I’m being ‘advised’ by you.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that, Mariano.”

“Anyway, you think Olivia Palmerson gives a shit that I’m in a committed relationship? It only makes her want me more. It’s getting awkward.”

“’Awkward’ like I, in my position of authority need to do something about it?”

“No, like ‘awkward’ in a way that makes it even funnier. If I were a better person, I might feel bad for her for making such a spectacular fool of herself.”

“Well that’s good. Exerting my authority can be exhausting. And I’m glad you’re not a better person. So, I guess since I’m your ‘advisor’,” Stan sighed, “I should ask you how your classes and research are going.”

“They’re good.”

“Anything unclear?”

“Nope.”

“Any research snags? Problems with your MA classes that aren’t taught by me?”

“Nope.”

“Anything more you need me to do, on top of my already spectacular teaching and guidance?”

“I’ll let you know,” Jess laughed.

“Best. Pupil. Ever.”

“Pupil?”

“Yes. Problem?”

“No. That term just makes me feel like it’s 1902 and I’m twelve, that’s all.”

“Well, you’ve got a hell of a beard for a twelve-year-old Jess,” Stan chuckled. “Don’t miss your deadline for a research draft at the end of term, I’d hate to lose you now.”

“Aw, that’s sweet. I won’t miss it, Stan. And by the way… I love you too.”

“Shut up.”

* * *

“Christmas is in less than three weeks. Why are we going back to Stars Hollow now when we’re gonna be there so soon for the holidays?” Jess asked with a whiny lilt to his voice.

“Your cousin, my brother, the child my mother and your uncle share is turning one year old,” Rory laughed. “We’ve been over this. We can’t miss the birthday extravaganza.”

“Why are they even having a ‘birthday extravaganza’? I’m not against celebrating his birthday, but why does it have to be such a big thing? William’s one year old, he’s not going to remember it.”

“Yes, but my mother will. As will the entire town. You know how seriously my mom takes the birthday thing. Stop acting like this is a surprise –you’ve been in the inner circle for too long; it’s not even remotely convincing anymore.”

“I guess I was hoping Luke could tone down the crazy.”

“He’s tried, but he’s no match for Mom. He huffed and puffed and threw his hands up in surrender weeks ago.”

“Lightweight.”

“You’re no fun.”

“I blame the kid. He was born on a Friday, which means there’s no excuse I could’ve pulled for not being there.”

Rory laughed. “You’re awful!”

“I’m all for hanging with Lorelai and Luke and little William. Your grandparents and Liz even –all cool. It’s Stars Hollow town crazy I can do without.”

“Poor sad Jess. It’s only a weekend. You’ll survive, I promise.”

“If I start stealing baseballs and garden gnomes again, you can’t say you had no idea I’d be driven to such extremes,” Jess sighed as they drove. As they made it into the outskirts of town, Jess saw booths and games set up in the square. “That can’t all be for a baby’s first birthday. That would be _beyond_ insane.”

“The Winter Carnival is this weekend. Didn’t Luke tell you?” Rory asked.

Jess slumped over in his seat and leaned his head against the car window. “No. He conveniently left that part out. Call Babette as soon as we get to the house. Tell her to hide Pierpont before I get any ideas.”

Rory giggled. “You remember the gnome’s name?”

“Shush,” Jess said with a smirk.

The weekend –aside from being dragged to the Winter Carnival for the longest hour of his life before he could claim he had to turn in to do work- was surprisingly pleasant for Jess. Seeing Luke was great –Luke as a dad was the greatest thing ever- and he’d never seen Lorelai so happy to be so exhausted.

William was a mini-Luke, through and through, though he definitely got his appetite from Mom, both in what he liked and how much he could stuff into his tiny body. It was downright terrifying once Jess remembered that his cousin had only started eating solids two months prior _and_ he was still enjoying a steady diet of baby food.

Surprisingly, Liz wasn’t even that annoying. It was good to see her; Jess was glad she was happy and seemed to find her groove living in Stars Hollow. TJ was a different story –Jess still had to restrain himself from shooting off the mouth at him. _A solution would have been birth control! Too late, move on_. Sure, he was glad TJ made Liz happy, but all these years later his gut impression of the weird guy his mom married still rang as true as ever.

Emily and Richard were well –eager to hear about Jess’ experience so far with his Master’s year. They’d also become proud subscribers to the _Philadelphia Inquirer_ since Rory’s promotion the year before. If they were bothered by the fact that Jess hadn’t proposed to their granddaughter yet, they did a good job of hiding it.

* * *

At Christmas a few weeks later, Jess caught Emily staring pointedly at Rory’s bare ring finger before looking to the Claddagh ring on her right hand, as if willing it to switch hands and move one finger to the left.

“Don’t let it bug you Jess,” Lorelai whispered. “By the time Emily Gilmore was Rory’s age she’d been married for like, five years and she had me, so the fact that you two are happy and in love but not married at the ripe old age of twenty-six is just plain _madness_.”

“It’s okay Lorelai, really,” Jess swallowed hard. “I’m not worried.”

“Really? Because your face tells a different story,” Luke cut in discreetly.

“I’m not worried… much,” Jess admitted.

“Don’t be,” Lorelai reassured him. “But, if you haven’t at least _proposed_ marriage by the time you’re thirty, I’d sleep with one eye open, Mini-Sly.”

“Don’t listen to them, or pay any heed to Emily’s loaded glances,” Richard said to Jess quietly as he was leaving a few hours later.

“Excuse me, Richard?” Jess asked.

“I overheard your conversation with Lorelai and Luke –about the lack of a ring on Rory’s finger.”

“Oh.”

“Jess, do you love my granddaughter?”

“You know I do. More than anything.”

“Has your love for her waned at all over these last five years?”

“No, not in the least.”

Richard smiled. “When you two first got together I –well, the first time Rory and I spoke after –” he paused midsentence, unable to finish and choosing a different approach instead. “I told Rory I was positive not only that you loved her very much, but that you were the best possible person for her.”

Jess felt a lump rise in his throat –it was one thing to know Richard had said that to him, but to know he told Rory the same thing brought things to another level- he swallowed it fast.

“You’re a good man, Jess –the best man to love Rory. My opinion hasn’t changed just because you have yet to propose. That makes no matter to me. It makes very little matter to Emily either, despite the impression that her loaded expressions might give off. You and Rory belong together, you complement each other and you love each other unconditionally –the fact that you’re not yet married doesn’t make that less true. You must understand, Emily and I courted in a different time –we’d been married several years by the time we were your age and we’d had Lorelai. That’s all Emily’s glances should betray –proof that we elder Gilmores are of a different time. As long as you love Rory, you’re committed to her, you support her and you make her happy and she does all the same things for you, I’m a happy man.”

“Thank you Richard. That means a lot,” Jess said genuinely.

“That being said, I would very much like to be alive to witness Rory’s marriage to you. You mustn’t take forever, Jess. I’m afraid I am getting on in years,” Richard said with a chuckle.

“I promise, Richard. You’ll be alive and well, with a front row seat,” Jess laughed.

“Ah, splendid. Best of luck in your final semester, too! It’s been quite the journey for you, hasn’t it? Luke and Lorelai aren’t the only ones who are proud of you, son.”

Jess remembered meeting Richard for the first time four and a half years ago, and how his use of the term ‘son’ made Jess tick –how the anger inside of him rose every time he heard it and how he was convinced that Richard was doing it on purpose. Hearing Richard call him ‘son’ now, all Jess could do was smile and appreciate the heartfelt place from which it came. “Thanks. Merry Christmas, Richard.”

Emily too gave Jess a warm hug before he left the mansion and wished him the best of luck in his final semester at school.

“What were you and Grandpa talking about?” Rory asked as they lay together in her bed later that night.

“When?” Jess questioned.

“I saw the two of you, lingering near the door as we were getting ready to leave. You guys were standing there long enough that you had to have been talking about something.”

“Oh, it was nothing. He was wishing me luck for my last semester of school.”

“My grandma did that, it took her one minute.”

“Well, I love your grandmother but –”

“Bet you never thought you’d see the day when you’d say _that_ and mean it, huh?” Rory laughed.

“Touché. But your grandpa and me, we’ve always had more to talk about, you know that. I swear –we were talking about books and school Ror, that’s all.”

Rory fell asleep without pressing the subject farther. For some reason, Jess didn’t want her knowing that he and Richard were talking about the eventuality of his marriage proposal –it had nothing to do with setting an expectation he wasn’t yet ready to meet, because he and Rory were happily on the same page about their lives together; they weren’t going to seriously talk about marriage until he was done school. Still, he didn’t feel like telling her that they could add her grandparents to the list of people waiting for engagement news –even if her grandparents were surprisingly content not to press the issue.

* * *

“So, Rory’s dealing with a weirdo at work whose idea of turning on the charm involves making inappropriate comments about the fact that she’s in a committed relationship with you, even though this guy doesn’t know you from Adam and doesn’t have a hope in hell of coming between you two, and you’re dealing with a shameless twenty-year-old undergrad who thinks you’re hot and wants to convince you through disgusting attempts at flirting that she’s the better lay or something?” Matt asked.

“Whoa, way to cram that into a mouthful, dude,” Joe laughed.

“It may be a mouthful, but yeah –that pretty much sums it up,” Jess laughed. “Mostly, Rory and I just have a good laugh about it every night. This guy at her work hasn’t done anything creepy –unless you’re referring to his sense of humour in general- and her boss is aware and ready to step in at a moment’s notice. And that student, Olivia? She’s just plain pathetic. Stan says it’s a wonder she even got into university, let alone made it to sophomore year in an English Lit program; this girl makes it seriously hard to believe she can even read.”

“Ah, the infamous Stan! I hope we get to meet the curmudgeon who stole the heart of our own curmudgeon,” Matt chucked.

“You will, I promise,” Jess said.

“Just a thought –how old is Inappropriate Dude at Rory’s work?” Joe asked.

“I have no idea, why?”

“Well, I was just thinking… what if you engineered a meeting between Inappropriate Dude and Pathetic Ditz and then that way, they can be inappropriate and pathetic together as opposed to with Rory and you, respectively. You can introduce them to each other and be rid of them in a snap, solving each other’s problem so fast that you’ll have time to go for pizza,” Joe explained.

“You know, Joe,” Jess chuckled, “that might not be a bad idea. It might even work!” Just then, Jess’ phone rang; he saw it was Rory and picked up right away. “Hey Ror! I’m sorry I’m not home yet, being stuck at work on a Saturday blows, but we have a bunch of stuff to get through. I should be home around eight, you wanna order in? Joe has this crazy idea that we introduce the inappropriate guy at the _Inquirer_ to my shameless undergrad; I think he might be onto something –”

I’m not at home Jess,” Rory cut him off as he started to laugh. She was breathless and her voice was shaky. “I was at the office, but now I’m at the airport.”

Jess heard the unease in her voice. Something was happening –something big. He could tell whatever it was freaked her out. “At the airport? Rory, what’s going on?”

“I won’t be home for dinner… obviously.”

“Ror, why did they call you in on a Saturday? What’s happening?”

It was January eighth, 2011.

“There’s been a shooting in Tucson, Arizona. Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was shot in the head in broad daylight, in the middle of a speech.”

“Jesus Christ, is she –?”

“CNN and Fox are saying that she’s dead, but my editors don’t want to go to print until we have reliable double confirmation. My boss says it’s better to report a little late rather than to jump to be the first out of the gate and have to retract. They’re sending me to Tucson to find out exactly what’s going on. My flight leaves in half an hour.”

Jess felt a pit form and sink in his stomach. He still didn’t like the love of his life chasing stories involving guns –he didn’t like that her job sometimes required her to literally chase someone who was armed and dangerous. He’d never like it. “Rory,” he said quietly, his voice cracking before he could even finish saying her name, “be careful. Be safe. _Please_ …”

“I will,” Rory answered softly.

“How long?”

“Two days? Maybe three. They want me to stay there until I can get a proper handle on what the actual situation is. I’ll be home sooner if she’s… dead. My boss’ exact words were, ‘She’s a person; a doctor pronounces her dead, not the news.’ If she survived, they want me to stay until doctors are positive she’s going to stay… not dead.”

Jess let out a very shaky breath. “Okay. Go get the story. You can do this Ror, you know how to do your job. So, go do your job and kick ass doing it. There’s a reason they’re sending you and not someone else.”

“I know.”

“Write the best coverage of this that Philadelphia will ever see.”

“ _I’m_ not scared Jess, not really anyway. The whole situation is scary,” Rory assured him.

“I know, I know. It’ll be fine. Just focus on the story, okay? You’ve got this.”

“I know. I love you Jess. I’ll call you when I’ve landed and I’ll email as much as I can. Once a day, if I’m gone longer than one –I promise.”

“I love you too, Rory. You’d better believe I’ll be checking in with you lots too. I’ll apologize in advance for making your phone explode,” he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. “Have you told your mom and Luke and your grandparents?”

“Yeah, they’re pretty much freaking out,” Rory laughed nervously.

“I’ll make sure I’m in touch with them a few times a day for however long you’re gone. Between the five of us, we might have the slightest chance of actually keeping each other sane.”

“Thanks Jess. I love you, so much.”

“I love you too, Rory. Always.”

Jess disconnected the call and closed his eyes.

“What was that about?” Matt asked.

“Is Rory okay?” Joe wondered.

“Rory’s fine,” Jess assured them, barely above a whisper.

Matt knew something still wasn’t right. “Are you sure? It didn’t sound like she was fine, based on your end of the call.”

Jess sucked in a breath and raised a hand to his friends sharply, signaling to them that their questions were not welcome. “I said she’s fine, okay?” he shot back through clenched teeth. “I promise. But she has to go cover a really dangerous story in Arizona and I –I need to be alone. I’ll finish my work from home.” Two seconds later, Jess was out the door, leaving his friends dazed, confused and worried about both Jess _and_ Rory.

When Jess got back to the apartment, its emptiness seemed to mock him. He flung himself down on the couch, buried his face in a pillow and screamed. After taking close to half an hour to regain his composure he called Luke and Lorelai, hoping that their shared worry would make their tumultuous emotions easier to handle.

When that didn’t work as well as any of them hoped, he grabbed his laptop and charger along with his phone and its charger, a change of clothes and some toiletries and trudged his way upstairs to Daniel and Lydia’s apartment. He asked if he could crash on their couch until Rory got back from Tucson –he couldn’t handle being alone in the home they shared together while he worried himself sick over where she was and the events that put her there, thinking that she might be in danger.

Jess would have to get better at handling the emotions that came with the dangerous elements of Rory’s job, he knew. He wouldn’t always have best friends a stone’s throw away that would let him take up residence on their couch every time he was worried about Rory and didn’t want to be alone. For right now though, he was grateful to have Daniel and Lydia right there.

Jess tossed and turned on the couch in Lydia and Daniel’s apartment, wide awake at four in the morning. He turned on the light and dug into the pocket of his jeans to pull out his wallet. Slowly pulling out the card for _Jasmine’s Fine Jewelry_ that Tina had given him when he was there with Daniel, Jess rubbed it gently between his palms.

' _Whenever you’re ready, you come back to us. We have Rory’s ring; it’ll be waiting for you.’_

Jess knew he wasn’t going to find a ring this instant and propose as soon as Rory returned. But maybe the time had come for him to start looking for the ring in earnest. Maybe it was time to start searching for the ring that would be the most important thing he would ever give her. Maybe it was time to start looking for the ring that held the key to the future. He knew he was still several months away from being ready to ask the question that would unlock that door –hell, he had to _find_ the ring first. It was true what they say: _Rome wasn’t built in a day_. With any luck, by the time he first found the key and second, was ready and able to give it to her, Jess and Rory would be ready to unlock the door and walk through it together.


	58. Chapter 58

Rory returned from Tucson on Tuesday evening. She was so tired, she hadn’t thought to call or text Jess before her flight took off and only realized it as she was touching down in Philadelphia. Sighing at her forgetfulness, she simply took a cab home. Jess was keeping abreast of the story and knew Rory would likely be home by Tuesday, so she figured it was just as easy not to bug him at the last minute –she knew he’d only dash to the airport to meet her and it was easier just to go straight home.

“Jess,” Rory called out when she opened the door, “I’m home!” No answer. “Odd,” she whispered to herself, propping her suitcase up by the door. Walking into their bedroom, Rory saw that the bed was made and the sheets looked like they hadn’t even been slept in. “Stranger and stranger.” Jess hardly ever made the bed –he definitely wouldn’t have remembered such a benign task while she was gone, which quickly led her to the conclusion that the last time he slept in it was probably Friday night to Saturday morning, before she had to leave unexpectedly. Her suspicions were confirmed when she saw that his cell and laptop chargers were missing and his toothbrush and razor weren’t in the bathroom.

It was eight o’clock. He wouldn’t be at school this late and he rarely worked late at Truncheon during the week. He was either out drinking with the guys, or –Rory quickly dashed out of the apartment and locked the door behind her before heading upstairs.

“Hey,” Lydia said with a smile when she answered the door, giving Rory a hug. “Good to have you back! Thank God Congresswoman Giffords survived, eh?”

“Yeah, she was really lucky. Good that they managed to arrest the guy on the scene too. Say, Ms. Shirley, have you seen my boyfriend?” Rory asked with a smile, noticing his laptop on the coffee table. “Little taller than me, crooked mouth, great beard, killer sarcasm, answers to Jess?”

“That one?” Lydia laughed, moving aside and pointing to Jess, who was too busy talking to Daniel to hear the commotion at the door.

“Yup, he’s the one!”

“Dan made mushroom and beef risotto, you want some?”

“You’re asking _me_ if I want food?”

“Well, you might’ve eaten on the plane and I know how you like your fix of satisfying quick-fix food, so –”

“It wasn’t your fiancé’s risotto. I’ll always have room for Dan’s risotto, or anything else he makes. Sometimes, you’re too Canadian for your own good, my friend. It’s safe to assume I’ll never say no to food. You know that!”

“Come in,” Lydia smiled. “Hey Jess, some woman demanded to be let in, she says you’re her boyfriend…”

Jess turned around. When he saw Rory he leapt to his feet and crossed the apartment quickly, wrapping his arms around her. “Hey,” he whispered. “Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve met your flight.”

“I know,” Rory said, kissing his nose. “But the plane was landing by the time I realized I hadn’t told you exactly what time I was getting in. I just figured it’d be faster if I came right home.”

Jess smiled crookedly and hugged Rory tightly against him. “I’m glad you’re back. I love you, Rory.”

“I love you too, Jess. Are you okay?”

“What? Yeah! I’m fine. Are _you_ okay?”

“I’m hungry,” Rory laughed. “I was promised some of the Frenchman’s risotto.”

* * *

“Should we talk to Rory about it?” Matt wondered aloud to Joe.

“You’re assuming she doesn’t already know what happens to him every time she works a story involving guns,” Joe said.

“I know, but do you think she knows it’s _every time_?”

Joe shrugged. “I don’t know. But it’s not like he’s paranoid or anything. It hasn’t gotten worse, it just –”

“Hasn’t changed at all,” Matt sighed. “But it’s not like we’d be ragging on him. We’re worried. Every time she works a moderately dangerous story and has to be away, he retreats. He never sleeps at home when she’s gone on jobs like that. I bet whenever he doesn’t crash here, he’s at Lydia and Dan’s. I hear being worried about the woman you love, but it’s troubling, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. But if we see the pattern, you know she does too, Matt.”

“What’s gonna happen if they move away from Philadelphia one day and Jess doesn’t have friends who’ll let him crash on the couch whenever she’s gone on assignment?”

“I don’t know. It’s tough. It’s not like he doesn’t support her, he does –”

“He’s the most supportive person ever when it comes to her career. It’s just those high octane, volatile stories –they do something to him.”

“Can you really blame the guy? Do you think we’d be so different if the women we loved did the kinds of reporting that Rory does sometimes?” Joe challenged him.

“I think we’d be able to sleep at home in our own beds and be alone in our homes without going as stir crazy as he does,” Matt reasoned carefully.

Joe sighed heavily. “I don’t know, man. I mean, I agree with you; but I don’t know what we do about this one.”

* * *

“Jess, please, just talk to me,” Rory said.

“I don’t know what’s left to say about it,” Jess replied flatly.

“How about _anything_?! Jess, you think I don’t notice that every time I go away to cover a tense story, you’re never here when I get home, unless you’re picking me up at the airport yourself? The bed is never slept in. Your toothbrush is always gone. Your cellphone charger, your laptop charger –gone. You can’t ever stay here when I’m away on a high stakes story, why?”

“Is it so terrible that I worry about you when you’re gone covering a story that I know could put you in danger? It kinda comes with the territory of loving you, Ror.”

“No, of course it’s not terrible that you worry, or that you lean on our friends when I’m gone and you’re anxious about my safety. But don’t you think it’s a little weird that you can’t even sleep in your own bed?”

“Our bed.”

“Jess, come on.”

“What difference does it make?”

“It’s not normal –I’m not the only one who worries.”

“It’s not _normal_?” Jess bit back sharply. “The Gabrielle Giffords story was over a week ago. Why are you still on about this, anyway? Who blabbed? The guys? Lydia and Daniel?”

“No one ‘blabbed’ Jess!” Rory yelled. “And no! Avoiding your own home –our home- like the plague every time I’m gone because you worry yourself so sick that you can’t even be here is _not_ normal! You think our friends don’t tell me how every time I go away, the world is suddenly your enemy? How you may as well have a drawer at Daniel and Lydia’s place? How the guys at Truncheon say it reminds them of –?”

“Oh, finish that sentence, please. I _dare_ you.”

“Jess, I’m sorry,” Rory whispered. “Please. It’s not just the fact that you don’t sleep here. It messes with your head, when I have tense stories to write. I know it does. But whenever one of those stories takes me away from Philadelphia, you get –” she paused, to blink away tears. “I worry about you. Our friends worry about you. It comes with the territory of loving you.”

Jess sighed. The lines of anger on his face started to soften.

“This is my job, Jess. And sometimes my job is dangerous. I can’t help that. I won’t ask to be put on the neighbourhood community beat and cover nothing but ribbon cuttings and cookie bake-offs and local school tournaments so that you can sleep at night.”

His face twisted again. “That’s a low fucking blow and you know it, Rory. Don’t you _ever_ put those words in my mouth, do you understand me?”

“Jess, I didn’t mean –”

“Then what did you mean? Stop fighting dirty. I would never ask you to take a yawner’s beat and you know it. I don’t want you to do that, Rory. I would _never_ want you to do that.”

“I know. But you need to tell me what goes through your head when I’m gone –why you shrink away from everyone –”

“I don’t.”

“…aside from crashing on their couches and desperately avoiding being left alone.”

Jess closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose before sighing and speaking without looking at Rory. “If I’m here alone, I’ll drive myself crazy thinking about all the possibilities of the situations you’re in. So I stay with Dan and Lydia. They get it.”

Rory took Jess’ hand gently and threaded her fingers through his. “This never bothered you before Denver, when Lydia and I covered that foiled assassination plot at the D.N.C.… you were alone for over a year while I was away on the campaign –”

“Don’t remind me,” Jess said softly. “And I was plenty worried about you while Obama was in the Middle East on the campaign.”

“That was a little different.”

“Not as different as you think.”

“Yes it was. I was on the other side of the world, in war torn regions rife with civil unrest. The campaign trail that brought me there wasn’t dangerous in and of itself. But where I was had the potential to become _extremely_ dangerous in a split second; especially covering a black American democrat campaigning for the Presidency, bringing messages of peace and his hope for unity between the States and Israel and Jordan, which have been known to be rather anti-American from time to time. I was in some dangerous places, covering remarks that would make any anti-American Middle Easterner less than happy. You were totally justified in whatever level of anxiety and fear you felt while I was gone –to say nothing of the fact that I’d been really sick right before I left on that trip.

“But Jess, ever since Denver two years ago, any remotely dangerous domestic story that I have to travel for has you snapping at your friends and crashing on their couches as soon as I leave. You know my job has the potential to be dangerous sometimes. If this happens to you when they send me away to cover things nationally I worry –like _really_ worry- about what would happen if they sent me to cover –I don’t know, a dangerous international health or security crisis or something. Thank God I decided I didn’t want to actually _be_ Christiane Amanpour, huh?” Rory giggled, trying to lighten the mood. “Our friends would have you committed.”

“Rory,” Jess sighed, reaching to stroke her cheek with his free palm, “I love you. And I meant what I said to you before you left on the Obama campaign –I do not want you to compromise your dreams for me. I’m so incredibly proud of you. But I’m not perfect; when you work dangerous stories that take you away, I get snappy with our friends and extra irritable and no –I don’t like being alone. I get like that because I’m torn between being mad at your boss for not sending anyone else and knowing that you’re the best person to get the story; that’s why they do send you. I know it’s problematic that I don’t like being alone when you’re gone and possibly inconvenient for our friends. I know exactly what your job entails. But I don’t know Ror –those dangerous stories that take you away mess with my head in a way that I can’t really explain.”

“Well,” Rory said, leaning her cheek into his palm, “do you think you could try? Try telling me what goes through your head when I have to go away? Try explaining it to our friends? Because me, and our friends, we’re worried because we care about you, Jess. We can’t take away the anxiety you feel and we’d never try to devalue it as less than genuine. But it might be helpful if you talked about it, with them, as opposed to just snapping every time they ask and then turning around and asking to crash with them; I’d like for you to be able to talk to me about how this kind of stuff makes you feel. Why you snap and crash anywhere but here. I’d like it if you could let me in on a bit of that, instead of just shutting me out every time I try to talk to you about it. Between me and our friends, we might be able to help you through some of it, even if it’s just a little.”

“I’ll try to be better, Ror, I promise.”

“Jess, it’s not just about ‘trying to be better.’ You need to help me understand why this happens to you. I know you worry about me; that’s normal, but –”

Jess felt frustration bubble up inside of him again, but he didn’t release Rory’s hand. “I already told you, I drive myself nuts thinking about what could happen to you when you’re off getting the scoop on a dangerous story.”

“But your life can’t come to a grinding halt every time I have to report on a shooting, or alleged acts of terrorism.”

“Do you think I _want_ my life to come to a grinding halt the way it does? Do you think I _like_ not being able to stay in our home or sleep in our bed? Do you think I’m _proud_ every time I get mad at my friends for no reason and then turn around and ask them if I can crash on the couch because I can’t bear the thought of being alone?” Jess snapped. “I don’t, Rory; believe me, I don’t.”

“If you’re having a change of heart about how much you support my career, it’s okay to be honest about it. We can talk about it,” Rory said quietly.

“But that’s just it, Ror,” Jess sighed again. “I _do_ support your career. I’m prouder of you than you could ever understand. Every story you file makes me prouder –the higher the stakes, the prouder I am. I _do_ support your career, with all my heart and soul. But when you go away on dangerous stories or you cover events that could put you in danger –like I said, it messes with me in a way I can’t really explain.”

“So what do we do about it, then?”

“We take one day at a time. I try like hell to be better, and to open up to you more when you’re on assignments that mess with my head –I try to explain it to you. I support you, and you support me. That’s all we can do Ror –try harder and keep loving each other. I may be messed up, but I will never stop loving you.”

“I’ll never stop loving you either. I’m sorry for the –the stuff I said. It wasn’t fair.”

Jess kissed Rory, softly at first and then allowed his tongue to explore her mouth. They kissed passionately for a long time, but as Jess’ hands slid beneath her thin nightshirt and his hands cupped her breasts, she pulled away gently.

“Ror, what’s the matter?” Jess asked quietly. “Is it because we were fighting just now?”

“No,” Rory smiled, caressing his cheek and letting her hand massage his scalp, getting uncharacteristically choked up as he closed eyes and leaned into her touch –as he always did. “I’m just tired. I have a long day tomorrow and we’re sill monitoring the Giffords situation, which we’re kinda on pins and needles about, that’s all,” she assured him with a loving peck on the nose, as Jess did for her whenever she was worried or upset.

“Okay.”

“I love you. I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

Rory rolled onto her side and pulled Jess’ arms around her, so that she was encircled by them, with her head resting on his inner forearm, which was looped under her own armpit. Rory could feel Jess’ warm body pressed up against her and that made her feel safe, protected, loved.

Jess kissed her neck delicately.

Rory knew whatever was going on with Jess when she was covering dangerous assignments, they’d work through it eventually, in their own time.

They were both together now; Rory focusing on the feeling of Jess’ body perfectly nestled into her side and giggling softly as he rubbed his nose lovingly against the back of her neck in the dark. It didn’t take long for their breathing to slow and match each other perfectly in rhythm – _in, out, in, out_. They were fast asleep within an hour.

* * *

On Friday, March eleventh, Jess and Rory were getting ready to go out for the evening. Rory was finally going to meet the infamous Stan Famlookins.

“Just so you know, my expectations are sky high, Jess,” Rory said as he fixed the collar of her coat. “After everything you’ve told me about him, I’m expecting to meet you, but twenty years older.”

“If you don’t like each other, I’m going to take it very personally; I may sink into a pit of depression.”

“Can’t have that. My God, can you believe you’re almost done? You are very nearly Master’s educated!”

“I know, it’s crazy. We should call your Mom, see how many upstanding citizens of Stars Hollow bet against me and are now paying up –dearly.”

“Who’d they be paying? Mom? Luke?”

“Nah. Kirk,” Jess winked. “I bet you he’s rolling in it right now.”

“Really?” Rory giggled. “What makes you think he put top dollar on your success?”

“Last time I talked to Luke I called him at the diner and Kirk was yelling like a banshee, wanting to know my GPA down to a fifth of a point. Apparently he’s double or nothing that I’ll graduate with Honours. Taylor’s championing the failure bet.”

“Of course he is,” Rory sighed.

“Apparently most of the town has weighed in one way or another.”

“Well, if all Kirk bet on was you passing with regular old Honours, then I hate to tell you Mr. Mariano, but you just made him a wealthy man.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m already repressing. You ready to go?”

“Yup. Let’s blow this popsicle stand.”

“You’re such a nerd,” Jess laughed. “Hey, sorry our anniversary came and went without much recognition.”

“That’s okay. We’ve both been busy and you’ve certainly had more than enough of an excuse to be preoccupied. Besides, we’re going back to Library Two _and_ I’m finally meeting Stan! Call him my belated anniversary present –and the restaurant.”

“Okay, _that_ , I’m telling him. I’m still sorry though.”

“Oh my God, why?”

“Because. Five is a good, round number. It’s a standout. It deserved more than pizza and sex. Not that there was anything wrong with the sex –the many, many hours of sex…”

“Well, I’m glad we agree on that,” Rory laughed. “I guess, if you feel bad, then I can _insist_ that you make it up to me next year. How’s that?”

“I’m sure I can oblige,” Jess smirked, kissing her neck. “Okay, let’s go. I don’t want the first words you hear out of Stan’s mouth to be screams because we’re late.”

“Because he’s Mr. Punctual?”

“No, because if he beats us there, I’ll never live it down. You do want me to actually _get_ my Master’s Degree, right?”

Stan arrived at Library Two about fifteen minutes after Jess and Rory got there. When Jess gave him the address, he offered no explanation; when Stan questioned why on God’s earth Jess would make reservations at a restaurant in New Jersey of all places, Jess still said nothing but he laughed –he said he thought Stan would’ve known about the place and made him promise not to look it up ahead of time and spoil the surprise. For some reason Stan couldn’t quite figure out, he actually listened to the kid. Pulling up in the parking lot, the place certainly didn’t look like anything special –it seemed like nothing more than a greasy spoon off the highway. The name caught Stan’s attention though. “Mariano thinks he’s so slick,” he muttered under his breath, cringing at the way the restaurant sign’s fluorescent light was strobing.

Jess and Rory were sitting at a table near the front of the restaurant, which Jess had specifically requested so that he could see the look on Stan’s face when he walked in. Stan’s expression did not disappoint. “Hey Stan! Surprised?” Jess winked.

“You crooked-mouthed shit disturber,” Stan said a little breathlessly, grabbing Jess’ hand for a firm handshake as he gawked at his surroundings. “Is this a library or a restaurant?”

“Both, I guess?”

“Can we read the books while we eat?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Bastards. Well, that’s strike one.”

“Against me or the restaurant?”

“You.”

“What?! How is it my fault we can’t read the books?”

“You asked if it was a strike against you and I am an opportunist. Don’t cry like a baby for allowing something to be blamed on you. You will get no sympathy from me, you’ll hear only my resounding, maniacal and mocking laughter.”

Rory laughed at this. She immediately saw why Jess liked Stan so much. They were perfectly suited to each other.

“You must be Rory,” Stan smiled. “Jess has told me so much about you; if he wasn’t your boyfriend, I’d be seriously creeped out –I might’ve assumed he was stalking you rather than dating you. She’s prettier than I thought she’d be, Mariano! Are you _sure_ she’s your girlfriend?”

“Stan, Rory. Rory, Stan,” Jess laughed and rolled his eyes.

“Did you lose a bet, my dear?” Stan asked Rory.

“No, I –”

“If you tell me you won the lottery, I’m leaving –right now.”

“I didn’t lose a bet, I assure you,” Rory laughed. “It’s so nice to meet you, Stan! Can I call you Stan?”

“Of course.”

“Jess talks about you so much, I feel like I already know you.”

“Well then, why don’t we sit and you can tell me all about myself.”

“And you can tell me all about me!”

“I bet I could do that quite well.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me with this,” Jess said through a mouthful of food half an hour later. “She’s a political nut!”

“Ayn Rand was not a nut, Jess!” Rory said.

“She wrote _The Fountainhead_ when she was hopped up on Benzedrine!”

“Exactly. Can you claim brilliance while also being hopped up on uppers?” Stan challenged Jess.

Jess was silent for half a second too long.

“I didn’t think so. Rand on drugs is a level of brilliance you’ll never reach, despite a lifetime of toil, Jess –drugs or no drugs, you’ll never be that brilliant. Get used to that pit in your stomach. It’s called failure. Fret not though, the way you’re going, at least you’ll be able to fail up.”

By the time they were halfway through their main courses and a second glass of wine, they’d moved onto Hemingway.

“I find Hemingway kinda painful, to be honest,” Rory admitted.

“Well, his life wasn’t exactly spent at the circus gorging on cotton candy, Rory,” Stan said. “How over-the-top, happy-go-lucky would you have him be?”

“He doesn’t need to be over-the-top or happy-go-lucky. The stories are good, it’s just…”

“Just what?”

“Go on, Ror. Tell him. Don’t be scared,” Jess said with a sarcastic laugh. “Stan, you should take your hand off your wine glass… and stay away from your fork and knife.”

Stan raised his eyebrows and chuckled under his breath, but obliged. He nodded to Rory, silently requesting she continue.

“The problem isn’t his novels themselves. The stories and characters are good; the arcs are good. It’s just the way he’s written them.”

“His novels are sound, but the way he’s written them isn’t?”

“I wouldn’t say ‘sound.’”

“Then what descriptor would you use?”

“Interesting.”

Stan laughed. “You’d find all of Hemingway’s creations more interesting if they weren’t penned by Hemingway?”

“Yeah,” Rory said confidently. “I find his writing flat. Kinda like flat soda that’s still cold, but has been open for too long. It tastes good enough –objectively no different than freshly opened soda, by way of ingredients- but it was better before the open air sucked all the carbonation out of it. Soda’s better with that zip that can only come with a freshly opened can.”

“Interesting analogy. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard Hemingway be so astutely likened to a can of soda. I’ll have to remember that one. It’s curious that you would have such a harsh opinion of a man whom –as I understand it- only has lovely things to say about you.”

“Jess!” Rory squealed. “You told him?”

“Kinda, yeah,” Jess admitted with a cocky smile.

“He fed you that line when he was only seventeen, yes?” Stan asked.

Rory nodded. “Smooth as silk.”

“Well, there’s my confirmation. That solves the mystery.”

“What mystery?” Rory asked.

“Yes Stan. What mystery?” Jess echoed.

“No wonder she slept with you. A line like that coming out of that crooked mouth? If I were gay, we’d be fighting over him, Rory,” Stan laughed dryly.

Rory burst out laughing.

Jess nearly chocked on his mouthful of wine. After taking two seconds to recover, he jabbed Stan’s hand with the tongs of his fork. When Stan jumped and retreated his hand, Jess simply smirked. “I told you to stay away from your fork and knife, but mine are handy.”

Rory was laughing so hard she almost didn’t hear Stan’s response.

“You’re disgusting, Jess. That fork has been in your mouth! And God only knows where _that’s_ been. Now I need to take a detour on the way home to get a tetanus shot. Of all the ways to react to being paid a compliment!”

“Jess, he’s right,” Rory said breathlessly, “he kinda was complimenting you.”

“See? Rory doesn’t approve of your violent display either, Mariano.”

“You don’t need to get a tetanus shot Stan, I promise,” Rory laughed.

“Stab me again Brutus, and your Master’s Degree will not be conferred. Ever,” Stan said.

“You’re bluffing,” Jess said.

“I never bluff.”

By the time they were waiting on desert, both Jess and Rory had been ganged up on and now it was Stan’s turn to feel the heat. “I’ve never been so bored to death by anything. Why do they need to take hundreds of pages to describe a landscape? I’ve been to the moors, no one needs that much hot air to describe them.”

“But the moors in a Bronte novel are a character onto themselves. Without such an exquisite setting of the scene, the novels wouldn’t be the same,” Rory pointed out.

“Fine, if you say so. I think that opinion is categorically wrong, but I only hold a Ph.D. in literature, so what could I _possibly_ know.”

“About the Bronte’s? Nothing. You know nothing of that which you speak because you freely admit you haven’t even read anything they’ve written!”

“It’s too painful. Did Jess tell you about the time I tried to read _Wuthering Heights_ but I was too sick and feverish so I –”

“Threw it against the wall? Yeah, I heard that one.”

Jess laughed and sat back, content to just watch them go at it.

“The Bronte’s are a waste of paper,” Stan said casually. “I’m all for female authorship and empowerment in the nineteenth century and rising above a strict British classist system, but must there be a token character riddled with insanity in every novel? And if the wringing of wrists could win medals, I tell you… Besides which, almost every character has the same name and to even get to any mildly exciting plot developments, you have to have be able to stay not comatose for _hundreds of pages about the goddamn landscape_. Besides, they’re girly novels anyway. I’d throw every edition of every novel into a bonfire if I could, they’d make great kindling.”

“And you say the Bronte’s are full of hot air?” Rory laughed. “You could set a hot air balloon afloat with the amount of smoke you’re blowing, Stan. See, every complaint you just outlined would be valid enough that I’d have to concede to allow for differing opinions among educated adults, except for the fact that your grievances have no validity –zero- because you have not read a single Bronte novel from cover to cover! Not one! Even if you’d only read one, I could give it to you.

“But you’re like a kid who stomps his feet and throws a tantrum because his parents want him to drink milk, because ‘Mommy, I _hate_ milk!’ But when your mother calmly points out that you’ve never drank milk before in your life, so how can you know if you hate it and promises you if you try it and hate it she won’t make you drink it, you simply stomp harder and say nothing but, ‘ _No! I hate milk!_ ’ So, Mommy sends you to your room without desert.”

Stan blinked hard and tried to recover his wits –unsure of exactly when, throughout the course of Rory’s tirade against him that he’d lost them.

Jess laughed triumphantly. “And you made a crack about why she was sleeping with me, huh? Game, set match, Famlookins. That, right there is why _I’m_ sleeping with _her_.”

“So what do you think, Stan –do you really deserve that cheesecake you’re eating?” Rory challenged playfully.

“I should also add that Rory considers meeting you a belated anniversary present,” Jess smiled. “Happy, Ror? Are you pleased with your gift?”

“He’s the best anniversary present you’ve ever given me,” Rory answered adoringly.

* * *

March turned to April, which then blossomed into May.

On top of Daniel preparing to finish school, his and Lydia’s wedding prep entered the final six-week stretch.

As Jess buckled down for the last few weeks of school, he confided in Stan how glad he was to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Stan laughed. “That light is not the end of the tunnel, Jess. That light is a train coming to kill you. It will be trying to kill you for your entire career; but you can outrun it!”

The fight that Rory and Jess had after the Gabrielle Giffords shooting was long past and pretty well forgotten by both of them. On May second, Rory was preemptively sent to D.C. after an anonymous tip to the _Inquirer_ gave them a ninety-minute lead on an address President Obama was making on ‘matters of national security’. Over the course of the next several weeks, that all but forgotten (and forgiven) fight would rear its ugly head.


	59. Chapter 59

_“I’m the one who’s saving your ass constantly… I’m the one trying to knock some sense into that thick head of yours about the future.”_   
  
_“Oh, here we go.”_   
  
_"You don’t take anything seriously. That’s why you’re doing so crappy in school. You’re smart enough –you read more than anyone I’ve ever seen. There’s no reason why you should be barely graduating.”_   
  
_“I’m not.”_   
  
_“You’re not what?”_   
  
_“I’m not graduating.”_   
  
_“Yes, you are.”_   
  
_“No, I’m not.”_   
  
_“Yes, you are.”_   
  
_“No, I’m not.”_   
  
_“Yes, you are, because we had an agreement that if you were gonna live here, you were gonna go to school and you were gonna graduate.”_   
  
_“Well, I didn’t and I’m not.”_   
  
_“What is wrong with you? What, did you do this just to spite me?”_   
  
_“Look, forget it. It’s done.”_   
  
_“What’s your life now? Wal-Mart full-time, that’s your great future? Gonna take the plunge and buy yourself a second blue vest?”_   
  
_“Maybe. Why not? What’s wrong with it? I mean –it’s no diner.”_   
  
_“Hey, I own this business, kid! I built it; this is mine! I’m not at the mercy of some boss waiting and hoping to be chosen employee of the month for a couple extra hundred bucks and a plaque. I’m always employee of the month! I’m employee of the year, of the century, of the universe! You should be so lucky to have a job like mine. Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do –you’re gonna live here one more year, you’re gonna quit you job, you’re gonna take twelfth grade over again, and you will graduate.”_   
  
_“No.”_   
  
_“I’m not playing with you here, Jess. You quit your job; you go to school.”_   
  
_“I am not going back to school!”_   
  
_“So that’s it?”_   
  
_“Yeah, that’s it.”_   
  
_“Then you gotta go!”_

Jess inhaled sharply and opened his eyes wide. For the briefest of seconds, he forgot that he was in his own bed, with Rory sound asleep next to him. His heart was racing; he wasn’t sure what was more troubling –his sub-conscience’s habit of fucking with him, or the fact that his sub-conscience was freakishly good at fucking with him when it wanted to. When he could hear his heartbeat in his ears, it occurred to him that he’d been holding his breath. He started tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable again. “Fuck,” he whispered when he realized with a sigh that he was wide-awake. “Great.”

“Jess, what’s going on?” Rory asked sleepily, woken when Jess’ restlessness caused her arms to drop from around his ribcage, a position she’d fallen asleep in.

“Nothing, Ror,” he answered, kissing her forehead softly. “Go back to sleep. I’m really sorry I woke you.”

“I heard you curse, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah… just a… an unexpected dream, that’s all. Everything’s fine, Rory. I love you, go back to sleep,” Jess reassured her, wrapping her in his arms and smiling to himself because he was magically comfortable again.

Rory kissed Jess’ shoulder and snuck a quick look at the clock –it was four-thirty in the morning. “Jess?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s your graduation day,” Rory smiled. “You officially hold a Bachelor’s _and_ a Master’s Degree in English Literature from Temple University!”

“It’s not official until they confer my Degrees this afternoon,” Jess smirked drowsily.

“Technicalities…”

Jess laughed.

“Jess?”

“Hm?”

“I’m proud of you. You did it.”

“I’m proud of you too, Rory, for writing such a solid piece on Obama’s remarks after bin Laden was found and executed.”

“Well, your opinion is clearly biased,” Rory laughed.

“Technicality…” Jess chuckled. “Even if you weren’t the love of my life, you wrote an amazing article; one of your absolute best.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. Go back to sleep, Ror. I need my beauty sleep too, if they expect me to walk across the stage wearing a graduation gown that I’ll be sweating like a beast under and a silly hat with a tassel, all while trying to hold onto a little bit of my dignity. A shapeless gown you sweat like a pig under, and a square hat with a tassel. Who thought ‘Yes, this is definitely what we should make people wear at graduations –a day that arguably ranks within the top five most meaningful days in a person’s life. Nothing says dignity like a hot and sweaty ceremonial gown and a ridiculous square hat with a tassel.’”

“You’re such a curmudgeon.”

“And you love me.”

Rory hugged tight to Jess’ side and found the perfect comfortable spot, snuggling into the crook of his neck; her head was on the pillow, her face enveloped by the soft warmth emanating from his skin. “Yes I do…” she said groggily before drifting back to sleep.

Jess stayed awake a little while longer, holding Rory while she slept. He thought of the dream that had jolted him awake –yet another perfect, verbatim recollection of a significant –and significantly loaded- turning point in his life. Luke kicking him out unless he retook and passed his senior year and Jess refusing to go back to school is something that might weigh heavily on him for his whole life.

Yes, Jess made his own crappy bed and he had to lie in it –he made bad choices and he actually had to live with the severe consequences of those bad choices –but back then, he also saw it as further proof that there was no use in even trying to be anything _but_ a failure; his life was reinforcing the only thing experience had ever taught him, ‘You’ll never amount to much, so don’t bother trying.’

Even Jess himself could barely believe how far he’d come. “Today, I _am_ graduating. As of today, I officially have an Undergraduate _and_ Master’s Degree in English Literature.”

* * *

In Stars Hollow, Luke had woken up from a similar flashback dream.

“Today, he _is_ graduating. As of today, he will officially have an Undergraduate _and_ Master’s Degree in English Literature,” Luke whispered to himself softly with a smile, careful not to wake Lorelai.

He then looked over at the clock and groaned. It was four in the morning. He had to be at the diner in two and a half hours to help Caesar with the early morning rush, before dropping William off with Emily and Richard and driving to Philadelphia with Lorelai and Liz.

* * *

“Do you have to tinkle, Mariano?” Stan asked with a chuckle.

Jess was fidgeting nervously, wondering if he was positioned properly in the alphabetical line-up of graduates gathering in preparation for their entrance into the ceremony. He didn’t even notice when Stan appeared next to him; he jumped in surprise when he heard Famlookins’ low, throaty and booming voice. “Stan? What are you even doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be onstage already?”

“I still have another few minutes, so I wanted to check on my favourite smartass. You okay? You’re not gonna bolt are you? Now’s not the time to default to your old behaviour patterns –”

“Gee, thanks Uncle Luke.”

“I would tell you I’m offended by that, but you’ve told me all about your uncle and he sounds awesome! I can’t wait to meet him later.”

“Yeah, yeah. I can hardly wait for you two to bond. Aw Jesus, there’s gonna be alcohol at dinner too –”

“Yup, we are going to roast you alive, you crooked-mouthed pretty boy. Seriously Jess, there’s an awesome prize waiting for you at the end of this rainbow; I wouldn’t bolt if I were you.”

“I’m not bolting, Stan,” Jess laughed, looking his advisor up and down for the first time.

“And you thought your getup was bad, right? Mine is heavier than yours and this sash makes me feel like I’m competing in a Mister Miss America pageant,” Stan sighed. “And this hat! It’s a floppy court-jester-looking thing. Just give me pantaloons –there’s more dignity in _pantaloons_ than this outfit Jess.”

“Yeah, because at least if you’re wearing pantaloons, you can pretend you’re Hamlet.”

“Just give me a skull and point me in the direction of a southerly wind so that I may know a hawk from a handsaw.” Stan took Jess’ hand for a firm handshake. “So you’re good?”

“I’m good,” Jess smiled.

“I was just as much of a screw up as you were Jess. You pulled out of it and you made something of your life. Be proud. This is your moment –don’t let it pass you by without taking some time to block out all the craziness around you and soak it in. Appreciate this moment Jess; because it is just a moment –in a blink, it’ll be over. When your name is called, soak it in before you blink.”

“I will.”

“See you up there, kid. I promise not to pull any funny business on you –I’ll save that for later, when I’m having dinner with your family,” Stan winked.

“Fucker,” Jess laughed.

“I live to be a disturber of the shit, what can I say,” Stan said as he hurried ahead to gather with other faculty members.

When the familiar notes of Sir Edward Elgar’s _Pomp and Circumstance Marches_ rang out, Jess closed his eyes and listened carefully to the shuffling of feet, as the line of people in front of him started to move. When the shuffling got louder and closer, he opened his eyes and fell into step. Walking up the isle, he tried to scan the crowd to find Luke, Lorelai, Liz and Rory, but he couldn’t see them anywhere. He had a fleeting panic attack and nearly froze when he wondered if they were even there at all. Just when he’d all but convinced himself that they _weren’t_ there at all, he felt a gentle brush of contact against his palm.

Rory. She caught Jess’ eyes quickly as he moved past her and smiled.

All his anxiety melted away when he saw Liz, Luke and Lorelai in his periphery as well –all four of them were beaming with pride and Luke looked close to tears.

The enormity of what he’d managed to accomplish hit him, full force for the first time. The screwed up kid who bolted before he could be kicked to the curb for not finishing school and who didn’t know how to love anyone without hurting them, was now graduating from university with a duel Degree –with his mother, uncle, the love of his life and Lorelai, whom he loved like family, there to witness it. They all positively glowed with love and pride for Jess.

_I’m here,_ Jess thought, _I made it. I did it. I barely recognize the fucked up kid I used to be; I never thought I’d get here, but I did. This is happening._

The ceremony chugged along like most graduations do –lots of long-winded speeches that were meant to be inspiring which were in fact dull, that no one really paid any attention to.

When organizers signalled to Jess’ row to stand and form a single-file line beside the stage to await being called up, the girl sitting next to him had to nudge him to get up from his seat. He heard the instruction, but it was like he was watching it from above, wanting to enjoy the moment without blinking –lest it disappear before he had a chance to take it in.

He walked mechanically to the side of the stage and waited, slowing his breathing in order to notice everything: the sound of the birds, the brightness and warmth of the sun, the feel of the warm May breeze on his skin, cooling down his nervously overheated and restless body. From somewhere that sounded distant and far off, he listened as the speaker at the podium announced each name in turn, inching closer to Mariano with every breath. He listened to the soft round of clapping that followed every person’s name, a collective breath of discontent from the crowd, scoffing at the request for the audience to stay silent until everyone in each row’s grouping received their Degree.

He slowly inched up the steps and approached the stage he never thought he would ever cross.

Jess saw Stan position himself next to the Director of the Faculty of Liberal Arts and Sciences; it was customary, when graduates were receiving a duel Bachelor’s and Master’s Degree in a single ceremony, that their Master’s advisor be standing next to the university President and the faculty director.

“Don’t trip, don’t trip, don’t trip,” Jess whispered to himself nervously as he waited. “Whatever you do… when they call your name, _do not_ trip when walking across the stage.”

In the second before his name was called, the world around Jess fell away. He heard nothing –not the birds, not the wind, nor any noise of the commotion around him. His focus became utterly singular; the world would come rushing back any second, but not before he heard the director of his faculty say…

“Jess Mariano.”

As soon as he made his first stride forward and his foot made contact with the carpeted stage floor, Jess wished the world could slow down, so he could have more time to soak in this moment that burnt so bright while simultaneously already starting to fade. He was jolted out of his dazed thoughts not by a soft round of clapping, but by loud, sharp, reverberating claps, boisterous cheering and whistling from not one, not two, not three, but all four of his loved ones.

Rory was smiling through tears and clapping so wholeheartedly that her entire body seemed to shake. Liz was crying and blowing him kisses. Lorelai stood proudly next to Luke, doing her best to smile despite her quivering lower lip.

After being handed his Degree, Jess took Stan’s hand for the customary shake, only to be yanked into the fiercest hug he’d received in a good long while. The force with which Stan pulled him almost knocked Jess off of his feet. After a beat he laughed and returned the gesture in kind.

“Soak it in; it’s almost gone, kid. Don’t blink just yet,” Stan whispered before releasing him very slowly.

Jess let go of Stan and heard a high pitch whistle that floated above all the craziness. Looking around, it took only a nanosecond to find its source. The whistle fizzled out when Luke became too flooded with emotion to continue exhaling his breath. The lump in his throat was too powerful and two streaks of tears snaked their way down his cheeks and tumbled off his stubbly jaw.

This moment was everything Luke had ever wanted for his nephew; everything he fought tooth and nail to try and give him, everything Jess resisted so obstinately. Yelling at Jess that day, and telling him that if he refused to go back to school and graduate, he couldn’t live in Stars Hollow anymore was one of the hardest things Luke had ever done.

When Jess resurfaced the following year, more mixed up than ever and broke Rory’s heart into shatters so fine they could’ve been passed through the eye of a needle, Luke blamed himself. He blamed himself for Rory’s pain and for turning his back on Jess. Jess’ life was a mess and it was Luke’s fault; he should have fought harder, been more patient, loved his nephew more.

Luke was now a father –he now had a son; in the back of his mind he knew that even William’s greatest successes in life would not eclipse the pride and love he felt in this moment, witnessing his only nephew actually _reach_ the stars.

Jess watched Luke stand before him and cheer and cry, and suddenly his legs felt as if they were made of jelly. No one had fought as hard for him as Luke had, no one loved him as much as Luke did –not even Rory. Jess’ vision became blurry and the lump in his throat made it hard to breathe. He locked eyes with his uncle and gave a subtle nod as his own tears overflowed. Reaching up slowly, he took the tassel of his cap delicately between his fingers, moving it from the right side to the left with the utmost care. Suddenly the square hat with its tassel wasn’t so ridiculous anymore.

With one more gaze at his cheering loved ones, his trademark crooked smirk danced lopsidedly across Jess’ face as he left the stage.

* * *

All throughout Jess’ graduation dinner, Rory was distracted and she felt ashamed of herself for being so. Her phone was buzzing off the hook. It had been ten days since bin Laden was executed by American armed forces. When the _Inquirer_ sent her to D.C. to cover Obama’s remarks, she scored a one-on-one sit down with the President, who even remembered her from the interview she had conducted with him on election night in Chicago three years before. Her editor told her that the article she wrote was among the finest he’d seen in all his years in journalism; on the website, Rory’s coverage of the President’s remarks garnered a record high number of hits.

She was working on a follow-up piece that would prove explosive and garner national acclaim. Not a quarter of the way through dinner, Rory excused herself to read all her texts and listen to her voicemail; nothing was particularly urgent and her editor knew where she was –if he really needed her, he’d have no issue yanking her away from the celebrations.

Rory made a calculated decision; she called her editor to be sure he was reasonably confident that nothing urgent would arise and with his approval, she shut her phone off for the remainder of the evening. With strict orders from her boss to enjoy her night and stay focused on her follow-up exposé, she walked back into the restaurant and celebrated jubilantly, focusing on little else than Jess, laughing uproariously as Stan and Luke ganged up on him, becoming the most fantastic dry-witted, sarcastic duo known to man.

After dinner, the family said goodnight. Rory lied and told Jess she had left something in his office at Truncheon. When they arrived at the brownstone, Matt, Andrew, Joe and Chris popped a bottle of champagne at the exact moment they walked through the door, greeting Jess with cheers. Daniel and Lydia made what Jess thought was a surprise appearance, before realizing that Rory likely made this plan with them weeks ago –ever the organizer, his girlfriend was.

The four friends returned to Hamilton Court together in the wee hours of the morning and Jess and Rory made love until the sky started to lighten.

Rory woke up before Jess and tiptoed into the living room with her laptop. A surge hit her and she wanted to polish off her explosive bin Laden follow-up while the creative impulses were still fresh and sharp. When she hit send on the first draft email to her editor, it was barely eleven-thirty in the morning on May thirteenth, 2011. Rory was glad to have decided to take the day off and luxuriate in the joy of a long weekend –she and Jess had a lot more celebrating to do. Rory had never been prouder of him.

Little did Rory know that this follow-up piece would eclipse her highest expectations for herself and the highest expectations her editor had for her, too.

First, it would take off like a rocket, before going viral and causing her name to become known to everyone in the country –bringing her more joy and excitement than anything in her career thus far.

But, as the saying goes, ‘ _What goes up must come down._ ’ For as high as this article would send Rory and her career soaring, the fallout would reach near catastrophic and dangerous lows –and cause trouble in her relationship with Jess, the likes of which they hadn’t faced in a very long time.


	60. Chapter 60

Philadelphia Inquirer _Investigates: FBI & CIA Reveal Key Findings From Inside  
_ _bin Laden Compound in Abbottabad: ‘Extensive’ Pornography and American Film Collection  
_ –Inquirer _Staff Writer Rory Gilmore Reports_

Rory’s article exposing details of the contents found in bin Laden’s Abbottabad compound was posted on the _Inquirer_ webpage on Saturday. On Monday May sixteenth, 2011, it was the leading story on the hardcopy’s front page. Rory had had articles run in the paper’s first section before, but this was her by-line to make and lead the front page. By Wednesday, she was on a plane to New York to appear on Anderson Cooper 360.  Rory was not the only reporter to cover the findings of bin Laden’s compound; nor was she the only reporter with connections on The Hill –she was however, the only reporter outside of New York and D.C. to speak to President Obama personally regarding his reaction to the findings, getting several direct quotes –the most to appear in anyone’s coverage.

Jess knew Rory was working on a bin Laden follow-up; she told him it was huge. But he had no idea it would be anything like this. She’d only received an email the day before telling her that her story was going to lead the front page of the morning paper. On the Monday, Rory had snuck out just before five in the morning to go to the newspaper box down the street and buy a copy as soon as the early bird edition was released. She woke Jess up at five-thirty; when he asked her why the hell she was so excited at such an ungodly hour, she was too hyper to answer and just waved the paper in his face. When Jess realized what he was staring at, he laughed until he felt the sting of tears and held Rory’s face, kissing her with a depth of love, which in that moment, words would have failed to express. He would’ve been happy to throw her down and have his way with her before even reading the article, but he knew Rory’s joy would not be complete and perfect until he read it. After he finished reading, rather than tell her how much he loved her and how proud he was of her, Jess showed her –three times.

By seven fifteen, they were pleasantly spent and Rory’s phone started ringing off the hook with loved ones congratulating her –Lorelai and Luke, Lane, Emily and Richard –even Paris and Doyle. While on the phone with Paris, the guys at Truncheon phoned Jess one by one after seeing the paper, when they couldn’t get through to Rory themselves.

By eight, she and Jess were enjoying homemade red velvet pancakes with cream cheese frosting and _Canadian_ maple syrup –which Daniel set to baking as soon as Lydia showed him the _Inquirer_ front page.

When Rory arrived at the office at nine fifteen, she was floating. The next day, she was invited to fly to New York to appear on _Anderson Cooper 360_ the following evening, Wednesday, May eighteenth.

Rory would be gone from Wednesday morning until Friday morning. Jess wanted to go with her –he hadn’t been back to New York in years- but he had a ton of work to catch up on at Truncheon, which had been put on the back burner during his final push to finish his Master’s. On Wednesday night as he was leaving the brownstone, Jess felt a stirring within him; when he got home, he emailed Chris to say he wouldn’t be in until noon the next day.

* * *

When Jess opened the door to Jasmine’s Fine Jewellery a soft automated _ding!_ rang out, set to alert the ladies whenever someone entered or exited the store. Tina looked up and seemed perplexed, trying to place the man who’d just walked in. She remembered him from somewhere; she was sure he’d been in her store before.

“Hi, Tina?” Jess said quietly. Being in a jewellery store felt a bit like being in a library –yelling would disturb the stillness, the peace. He approached her slowly, resisting the urge to tiptoe, knowing the only one he’d spook would be himself. “You probably don’t remember me. I was in here a little over a year ago. My friend Daniel was buying an engagement ring, which is totally the worthier purchase to remember. I bought a silver pendant for my girlfriend. I’m –”

“Of course I remember you. Jess, right?” Tina smiled.

“Right. Good memory.”

“How are you, dear? Oh, I’m sorry… a young man like you probably doesn’t appreciate being called ‘dear’ by Greek grandmothers, hmm?”

“That’s okay,” Jess laughed. “I never had a grandmother, Greek or otherwise.”

Tina sighed a little sadly at his revelation, but the smile never left her face. “How can I help you today, Jess? Daniel didn’t send you, did he? I told him that his and Lydia’s wedding bands would be ready on Monday.”

“No. I’m here for me –well, for Rory actually.”

“Oh?”

“I –I –” Jess faltered, took a deep breath and started again. “I think I’m ready to buy a ring. Do you still think you have it here someplace?” he asked with a smirk.

Tina’s smile grew until her face could barely contain it. “You know I do, dear.” She walked out from behind the glass countertop and embraced Jess in a gentle but loving hug, which he returned with an ease that surprised him. “Show me,” she said.

Jess knew –he remembered from coming in with Daniel last year that she meant for him to show her Rory. Tina could get a sixth sense for exactly what direction to steer a person in, based on knowing what the love of their life looked like. He pulled out his iPhone and swiped through his photos until he found his current favourite, taken at his graduation from Temple six days ago. As the perfect cherry on top, she’d been wearing her silver and diamond pendant that day.

“Oh my, she’s exquisite, Jess. Did you graduate from university or something? –that gown is definitely a graduation gown.”

“Just last week in fact.”

“Oh my, Jess. That’s so wonderful. Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Jess said genuinely.

“The love you have for each other –it radiates, even through a picture like this on a phone, you can tell –the love you share is like an old, beautiful oak tree –”

Jess couldn’t help but snicker at her unlikely comparison.

“It’s old –it goes farther back than either of you would readily admit for years, I bet. It’s strong –weathered its share or storms that have only made it stronger. And it’s wise –you know each other better than you know yourselves and all the hardship you endured must’ve been gut wrenching, but without it, you’d never have gotten to where you are now.”

“Wow,” Jess whispered, a little shocked. So, Tina’s comparison was not unlikely at all –it was in was fact freakishly accurate. “Are you a jewellery store owner with some distant relation to the Dali Lama? Buddha, maybe? –I’ll settle for Buddha.”

“I know people, dear,” Tina laughed. “I know love. I know the love that lasts and the love that doesn’t. I can’t tell you how many times it’s broken my heart to be helping some perfectly nice young man find that one-of-a-kind engagement ring that he’ll be over the moon to give to his lucky lady, but knowing it’ll never last. Of course, I never let my suspicions show when I’m helping them and I rarely know how it turns out. Only about half the men we sell engagement rings to come back to us with their fiancés for their wedding rings. I like to think it isn’t a common occurrence; but we don’t exactly offer refunds based on changes of heart once the ring has already been personalized, so who knows…” Tina suddenly realized the tone her digression had taken, and she blushed in embarrassment. “Jess, I’m so sorry! You mustn’t think that this is my opinion of you and Rory. The last thing you need to hear when you’re ready to find a ring for that exquisite creature are all the horror stories of broken engagements.”

Jess squeezed Tina’s shoulder gently, reassuringly. “I know that’s not what you think of the love between me and Rory –we’re a beautiful oak tree; old, strong and wise –you said so yourself. You don’t strike me as the lying kind,” he smiled.

“Oh, you _are_ sweet, aren’t you? Don’t worry Jess. The love you and Rory have for each other will weather the storm; you’ll keep on weathering storms together for your entire life. There is unavoidable risk even in simply breathing. Love is why we breathe. Love makes all risk worthwhile.”

“You are seriously wise, Tina. Have you ever thought of becoming a fortune teller?”

Tina laughed. “I’m too old for any of that crystal ball nonsense. I’m perfectly happy running my daughter’s jewellery store and helping wonderful men like you, who trust me to help them make a very important decision.”

“I wouldn’t go to anyone but the best,” Jess smiled.

“So, last time you were here, you were immediately drawn to a blue sapphire and diamond band set in white gold. Do rings within that type of non-traditional style still speak to you?”  
              
“Yeah. Rory and I have never really been a conventional couple, even from the start. Without all the heartbreak we’d never be here now –in love, happy, content, knowing this is forever. Even though the last few years might have fooled some, we are definitely of the ‘non-traditional’ variety. That sapphire and diamond band I saw last time was beautiful, but it was just… missing something. It’s not quite –”

“It’s not the one that belongs to her. Only one ring belongs to her and you’d never dream of –or settle for- anything else.”

“Exactly,” Jess said, relived that Daniel didn’t get all the good mojo of this place all to himself. Lightning sometimes did strike twice and Jess hoped that he’d get lucky today.

“Would still like to look at bands rather than a more traditional engagement ring?”

“Yeah I think so. I want it to be special, though. I mean yes, I want an engagement band, but I still want it to _feel_ like an engagement ring. I mean I know an engagement band is an engagement ring, but –am I making any sense?”

“More than you think,” Tina assured him. “Will it be a duel ring?”

“What do you mean?”

“Will it serve as both her engagement ring and her wedding ring?”

Jess sighed. He was severely overwhelmed. “I have no idea. I won’t know until we actually… talk about it. But, I mean –I like the idea of her having a wedding band too, something thin and delicate –simpler, daintier than the engagement band, but clearly a _wedding_ band. What are those ones called, the rings where the diamonds go all the way around?”

“Eternity bands.”

“Yeah, something like that maybe. I’m way ahead of myself here I know, but –”

“No, no! Not at all! It’s absolutely lovely that you’ve thought ahead enough to think about what you want your symbols of devotion to look like on her for the rest of her life. Does she wear much jewellery now?”

“I gave her a rose gold Claddagh about three years ago that she wears on her right hand which she never takes off. She wears that pendant I bought from you at least once a week, but other than that, I haven’t seen her in any other jewellery consistently.”

“Then it sounds like your instincts speak perfectly to her personality and taste –bands are less over the top and much more practical to wear every day. We can find settings that are flat or bezel-like so she won’t get them caught on anything and risk shaking a stone lose. We can find something that is perfect for her that she’ll never need to take off.”

Jess felt relief flood through him and he smiled at Tina gratefully.

“Come on over this way and take a look,” Tina said, opening the jewellery case and pulling out four rings. “I think one of these might be exactly what you’re looking for.”

Jess’ eyes immediately zeroed in on one ring and he paid no attention to the others. That was the one. Evocative of days gone by, the vintage inspired ring featured diamond baguettes alternating with round diamonds that went three quarters of the band, set in 18kt white gold. The ring featured a delicate milgrain pattern of subtle, tiny white gold beading appliqués. Surrounding the diamonds –the baguettes especially- the milgrain acted as a sort of frame, highlighting the beauty of the gems at its center. The band was also hand-engraved in a fanciful floral pattern on both the top and bottom.

“That’s the one, isn’t it?” Tina asked as she watched Jess stare.

Jess nodded silently, shocked that it was that simple. But there was no denying it –that was Rory’s engagement ring. No other ring would do –it _had_ to be this one. This ring belonged to Rory and no one else. As Jess continued to stare in awe, his heart sank a little. It was missing the smallest thing –the thing that would make it perfect.

Tina saw Jess’ face fall ever so slightly. She rubbed his back gently. “What is it?”

“I was really set on diamonds and sapphires,” Jess said quietly, trying and failing to not sound so utterly disappointed. In truth, he felt a lump of disappointment rise in his throat.

Tina smiled and spoke to him as a mother would comfort a distraught child, speaking like she understood and had the power to make it all better. “Jess, dear,” she whispered, “have you forgotten we can customize any piece of jewelry we sell? In fact we recommend it –with engagement and wedding bands especially- so that the ring you give her is as one-of-a-kind as Rory herself and as unique as the love you share together.”

“You can customize it?” Jess asked wistfully. “So that no one else will have her exact ring?”

“No one else will have her ring, because no one else has her. There’s only one of her in this world, and you’re going to ask her to belong to you and only you and promise that you’ll belong to her and only her. Her ring will be one-of-a kind, just like she is, just like the love you share.” Tina turned her attention to the ring and thought for a few moments. “What if we replace the diamond baguettes with blue sapphire baguettes?”

“The baguettes are the larger rectangular stones?”

“Yes! You know more about this than you think! We’d keep the round, smaller diamonds and alternate them with brilliant royal blue sapphires, cut to be the same size, depth and shape of the diamond baguettes you see in the ring now.”

Jess’ heart sped up and in a split second and he knew: _This is Rory’s engagement ring._ “Tina,” he said breathlessly, barely above a whisper, “that’s perfect. What you just described –that’s it, that’s her ring!” he exclaimed.

“The price would change and I’d have to get back to you with an estimate before we move forward. I’ll also have one of our artists generate a sketch of the ring with the sapphire baguettes for you –we need to make sure this is _exactly_ right for what you want for her before we do any ordering.”

“That’s amazing. Will I get to keep the sketch?”

“Yes! But we recommend you don’t take the sketch with you until you have the ring in hand as well. Wouldn’t want her to see it by accident and suspect something, would you?”

“Definitely not. Good plan.”

“Thank you so much for coming back to us Jess.”

“Well, I promised,” Jess smiled. “And I’d never settle for anything less than perfect when it comes to this.”

Tina smiled again. “Replacing the diamond baguettes with blue sapphires will change the price –it may make it a little more pricey,” she explained apologetically.

“It’s okay, I’ll figure it out.”

“As long as you have about six months before you plan to propose, we can work out a payment plan that should be very reasonable for you… the longer you take to pay it off, the more feasible and realistic for you the payments you make can be.”

“That sounds perfect. I’m in no real rush, I can figure it out when you give me a number.”

“Okay, when I call you within the next few days about the price point of the ring itself, we can discuss a payment plan that’s manageable for you. I’m so pleased for you Jess,” Tina said genuinely.

Jess smiled at Tina, dumbfounded. He couldn’t believe he’d just settled on an engagement ring – _an engagement ring for Rory_. Above all else he was shocked at how just it easy it was –not settling on the actual ring, though that was pretty simple too –but he was shocked at how easy, how natural and how absolutely sure he was that the time was now. He was ready to marry Rory. It’d be a while before he could _actually_ propose, he knew. But the revelation remained the same. It was time; he was ready to make his vows to that woman. He was ready to belong to her and he was ready for her to belong to him.

But little did he know that while the future would prove to be full of love and promise, in the present, a storm was brewing.

* * *

Rory returned from New York on Friday and by Monday, May twenty-third, the backlash hit hard –it even got dangerous. Rory was being flooded with threats; Al Qaeda terrorists and their sympathizers and supporters were targeting Rory and hacking her email, sending threats to her at the _Inquirer_ , promising to have her kidnapped and executed if she did not retract and publicly apologize for her story on the contents of bin Laden’s compound.

Along with Rory, they targeted any major reporter and news outlet in the States that ran similar, airtight exposés. But because Rory’s coverage had the most exposure and direct information from President Obama himself of anyone outside New York or D.C., she was third in a long list of people being targeted. She never wanted _this_ kind of bronze medal awarded to her, _ever._ For once in her life, she wished she could’ve come in closer to last.

To say that things were dangerous and scary would be a grave understatement, especially because it seemed like Rory blinked and found herself in mortal danger. No matter how hard she blinked after the fact, no amount of closing her eyes for a split second took the mortal danger away. The damage was done and could not be undone. She was, quite literally, doomed and she had no idea how, or when, or even –God forbid- if she would return to being blissfully undoomed.

Mercifully, all the threats she received came through her work –nothing had broken the privacy and safety of her home. Under strict instruction from her editor and consultants at the C.I.A., D.O.J. and even the Secret Service, Rory shut down her social media pages and was provided with a burner phone to use until further notice. No one could say for how long the threats would continue, whether they’d get more severe or for how long protective measures needed to be in place –could be a few days, a few weeks, a few months. No one at the C.I.A. or the D.O.J. could estimate how long it would take to isolate the source of the threats or determine whether they were genuine or a hoax. Nor could they tell whether the threats were coming from the Middle East, or right there in the States. Until they could, all measures –within reason- were being taken to ensure Rory’s safety.

Rory remained diligent as ever, throwing herself into work full tilt. The articles she was producing were beyond reproach –consistently excellent. She carried on with her head held high, as if everything were normal, and then she’d see her two Secret Service bodyguards watching her at work; she’d notice their car parked outside her apartment and the one on guard at hers and Jess’ door –twenty-four-seven watch. Then she’d remember, _There’s nothing normal about this_. At night, she always realized how terrified she was.

Jess did his best to comfort her and make light of the situation when he could –making a list of the perks of having manservants on call twenty-four-seven. But underneath his brave face –which he knew was what Rory needed- Jess was terrified too.

If Lorelai didn’t have a seventeen-month-old son to look after and a business to run in Stars Hollow, she would’ve gone to stay with Rory and Jess in Philadelphia –she didn’t deal well with her daughter facing serious threats. As it was, the stress she was experiencing over the whole thing meant that she was robbed of what little sleep William allowed her to have. She and Luke tried to convince Rory to come back to Stars Hollow for a few days, but Rory remained undaunted, sighting –entirely pragmatically- the recent long weekend she took off after Jess’ graduation as a reason she couldn’t possibly get away; Lorelai suspected that coming home might’ve made it too easy for Rory to crumble and have to admit –out loud- how scared she was.

Lorelai and Jess had short private conversations almost every day; the fact that she’d come around and was solidly team Jess was a lifesaver. She trusted him to be honest with her about how Rory was coping and more importantly, she trusted him to love her and be there for her in ways that Lorelai couldn’t be. What little sleep she got was because she knew, short of her being able to take care of Rory herself, her daughter had the love and support of the next best person. Truthfully, Jess and Lorelai survived until their nightly check-ins, which is what kept them afloat; they were helping each other just as much as they were trying to help Rory.

Jess could barely stand it. They’d fought a few months back because he became withdrawn when Rory was away on dangerous assignments, but now she wasn’t gone anywhere –she slept every night wrapped in Jess’ arms, she was _right here_ and she was in more danger than ever, and he was powerless to protect her. What seemed even more off-putting to him was that Rory was clearly making a huge effort to maintain a brave face. Every day she’d make it until nearly bedtime without betraying more than tiny flashes of fear. For the most part, she acted like everything was utterly normal. When her armour did crack, it’s like an internal dam inside her would flood for ten minutes and then she would just button it up tight again until the levees were due to break the next day. He’d never seen her behave like this before; she was keeping things bottled up and it was scaring him.

Jess was getting antsy himself and he couldn’t open up to Rory about how scared he was if she couldn’t talk about her own fear –she was the one getting death threats, not him. Every day, while countless people poured all their resources into isolating and neutralizing a very real and dangerous threat, Jess’ relationship with Rory –which had been so solid for so long- was starting to crack under the weight of two unwelcome guests that made their happy home and loving bed very crowded –the Secret Service suits permanently stationed in the hallway and tension making the air so thick it could be sliced with a knife.

“Rory, you need to talk to me,” Jess said one night after dinner, surrounded by strangled silence.

“Talk to you about what?” Rory asked innocently.

“How you’re doing.”

“How I’m doing… with what?”

“You know with what, don’t do that Ror.”

“No, I don’t. I told you how my day was; you talked to me about your day. We had dinner. What is there to tell you? What information am I keeping from you that you want to know?”

Jess clenched his teeth and sighed, trying to bury his frustration and attempt a different approach. “Fine. You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want. But at least tell me –are you talking to anyone about what’s going on with you? Your mom? Luke? Lane? Your grandparents? Lydia? Daniel? Paris?”

“I’m still not entirely clear on what exactly you’re so obsessed that I talk to them about, besides the normal stuff,” Rory persisted flatly.

“Given what our last fight was about –the last time _you_ got upset with _me_ for the way _I_ was acting, I find your blissful ignorance to be quite the double-standard. So, it’s only a problem when I shut down, is that it? I’m not allowed to get a little spooked and not quite know how to deal –but you, the infallible Rory Gilmore can do whatever you please and I’m not allowed to get frustrated. Is that how this works? That’s good to know.”

“What is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with _you_ , Rory?”

“What do you want from me, Jess?”

“I want you to fucking talk to me!” Jess yelled. “You’re being hunted, Rory. You could, quite possibly, be being literally hunted,” he paused to breathe; hearing himself say the words was like a swift punch in the gut. “You could be being hunted by the ghost of Crocodile Dundee, sure –and wouldn’t that be a laugh. But on the flip side, terrorists could be hunting you –real terrorists could’ve put a real mark on your back. I’m freaked the fuck out, Ror –and it’s not even my back. It might be sunshine and roses and Cosmo quizzes over where you’re sitting, for all I know.”

“Gee, would it help if I sobbed uncontrollably for every waking hour of the day?” Rory asked sharply.

“If it would actually _help_ somehow then yes, that’s exactly what you should do _._ ”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? You’d love for me to be some delicate wilting flower you have to nurse.”

“Stop it.”

“Jess, they will find these people. I’m fine. There’s no reason my life should come to a grinding halt.”

“I’m not saying you stay home all day and padlock the door, board up the windows and get paranoid, but you’re acting like there’s nothing remotely unusual about the permanent _Men in Black_ agents stationed outside our door. You can’t just ignore this thing and hope it goes away; when you close your eyes, it doesn’t go poof. You’re not fine, Rory. You’re allowed to be scared for more than ten minutes a night –the only time you let yourself emote about any of this- before you turn over and refuse to let me touch you.”

“Sorry that having my life threatened doesn’t exactly put me in the mood.”

“That’s not what I mean and you damn well know it. Don’t be like this, Rory. This isn’t you.”

“You’re right. It’s much more like you, circa 2003. A mirror’s a harsh thing, isn’t it Jess?”

Jess was ready to explode. He knew she was only being this way because she was scared and being mean was easier than admitting she was terrified, but he didn’t appreciate his old skeletons being dragged out of the closet. “Rory, I’m asking you calmly to please stop it. Now. If you need me to be your punching bag because it’s easier to be mean than to admit you’re scared, that’s fine. But don’t go there. Don’t go there and drag me there with you. Stop goading me.”

“Why? Are we so extremely rusty at being mad at each other that you’ve forgotten how to hit back and make it sting? Are you afraid you’ll break my fragile heart?”

“No. I remember how to hurt you just fine. I know how much I’ve done it before and probably will do more, before our lives are spent. What I do want to avoid is an explosion and you’re pouring gasoline on the fire. I don’t want any part in that,” Jess said tersely.

“Aw come on, I’m being highly unreasonable here. You must be dying to get a good shot in.”

“Taking a shot at you is not what concerns me.”

“What does concern you, then?”

“How long do you think we can go on like this Rory?” Jess asked bitingly. “You’re doing a spectacular job at erecting a brick wall between us and lining it with spikes while hurling insults at me over a loudspeaker, rather than open up a crack –just a crack- to let me in. I can’t make this better. There’s nothing I can say or do that can fix any of this shit –I know that. Do you think it’s easy for me? Do you think it’s been easy for me this last month, to watch you go from the highest high of your entire career –to this?

“I’m terrified Rory. I love you more than I thought I was capable of loving _any_ living thing and you’re going through something that’s scary as hell and I can’t protect you. I can’t fix it. But you won’t even let me in. I’m here; I love you. I’m going to love you for the rest of my life but you won’t even let me in. You won’t even lean on me, you won’t let me comfort you. You don’t have to be unflappably strong all the time, Rory. I can’t make this better, I can’t fix it, but I can help _you_ , if you’d just let me. You’re allowed to crumble with me, Rory. You’ve done it before. I’m strong, if you need me to hold you up, I can.

“It’s only been five days, so what happens if this goes on for weeks or –God forbid- months? Are you just gonna keep shutting me out and picking fights? If this is what the day-in-day-out of our relationship is gonna look like until this thing is resolved, I’m seriously curious as to how long you think we can survive this. Do you really want to tempt it and keep stonewalling me just to find out?”

For the first time, Rory’s tough façade was starting to show the subtlest of cracks. “No! Of course not!” she yelled through angry tears.

“If it takes them several months to give you the all-clear, do you think we can survive months of _this_ without imploding? Rory, you _have to_ let me in. I’m sure you’re entirely wrapped up in the fear this is causing you and that’s totally justified. But what about me, Rory? I’m so scared for you that I can barely breathe; I’m doing my best to be understanding and help you through this, but you have to let me –you have to let me help you through this in whatever way I can; whatever you need, I’ll do it. I’ll be your rock. I’ll be your punching bag.

“But this isn’t just about me being mad because you won’t let me comfort you or help you –which is a terrible fucking feeling, by the way. What about me? By shutting yourself off from me, it means that _I_ can’t confide in _you._ You won’t let me in, you won’t let me comfort you. But who’s supposed to comfort me, Rory? Maybe by helping you, if you could let yourself be scared around me –maybe helping you would help me. Have you thought about that?” Jess asked emotionally. “It’s easier for you to be mad than scared and I’m the most logical target. I get that. I’ll be whatever you need. But why can’t we at least try to comfort each other? Have you given any thought at all to how scared _I_ am? It’s not just about me taking care of you; it’s about us taking care of each other. You’ve left me alone in this Rory –scared and alone. And I don’t know how long we can survive like this unless something changes. I need you Rory. I need you _with me_. Can you do that? Can we be _with each other_?”

“I’m dealing with threats to my life and you’re issuing ultimatums?”

“It’s not an ultimatum, Rory. It’s me pointing out that we need to be in this together, especially when things get intense and real and dangerous. It’s me pointing out that this is almost as hard on me as it is on you.”

“Last time I checked, I was the one with kidnapping and murder threats looming above her head, not you,” Rory said, rolling her eyes.

“Stop it!” Jess screamed. “You’re unbelievable. Yes, you’re the journalist who’s being directly threatened and I’m just the journalist’s boyfriend who’s loved her with all his heart for five years –longer! I just live with her –fall asleep next to her, wake up next to her; so obviously, my own individual feelings about the love of my life receiving death threats mean nothing. Glad we cleared that up.”

“Stop being an asshole.”

“I love that I’m the asshole. Again, good to know for next time. Which is the other thing –you’re twenty-seven this year, your career is still young. Do you really believe that this is going to be the only time that a story you write will land you in hot water with people who’ll stop at nothing to terrorize you and threaten you? We can’t go through this every time your work puts you in a similar situation –and you know there’ll be more where this came from. We can’t do this every time –be at each other’s throats every time something like this happens. We have to lean on each other, Rory. You have to let me in.”

Rory’s anger dulled slightly as she realized that Jess had a point. This was a very extreme situation, but a certain amount of backlash came with the territory of the job; this definitely wouldn’t be the last time her work would meet with controversy, thereby making her vulnerable to threats from people with vendettas. She was surprised at Jess’ awareness, understanding and acceptance of this reality; it touched her. She realized, ashamedly, that she hadn’t thought much about how all of this was weighing on him. “Jess… I –”

 Jess clenched his jaw and let out an angry breath. “I swear to God, sometimes I really wish you hadn’t ever wanted to be a globetrotting journalist for a major daily –sometimes I wish that you had wanted to write for _People Magazine_. You’d get to report on all your favourite things –music, movies, television shows and pop culture, while still getting to write human interest stories with depth –all the while enjoying the perk of not having your life threatened.”

Rory’s face went pale.

As soon as Jess made the comment, he knew it was a mistake and immediately wished that he could take it back.

“ _People Magazine,_ huh?” Rory asked as tears welled up in her eyes. “You want me to want to write for _People Magazine_? Whatever happened to, ‘it’s not too rough for you Rory, you’ll do it,’ or ‘I would never let you compromise your dreams for me Rory,’ or my favourite, ‘I would never hold your career against you Rory, you need to go out there and conquer the world with those dreams,’? I guess that was all a crock, huh? You’ve always told me the last thing you’d want is for me to compromise my dreams and yet here you are –you  want me to be a pop culture and lifestyle writer because it’s safer, so that you can sleep at night.”

“Rory, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean…” Jess said, with a lump forming in his throat. He knew exactly how much damage hearing those words would do to Rory. It was a stupid thing to say.

“No, see,” Rory said quietly, evenly, “I know I was picking a massive fight and I was goading you. I’m sorry for that. It’s bad enough that you would tell me you wish I’d just work for _People Magazine_ , of all things. But, you lied just now; that’s what hurts –on some level, you did mean it; it wasn’t a throw away flash of sarcasm. Part of you wishes I could work at _People Magazine_ –that I’d work there and be happy and completely satisfied with working there, don’t you? A small part of you wishes that I could want to do that and be happy doing it, don’t you?”

Jess suddenly felt fragile. He knew he was in the wrong and when he spoke, his voice was emotional and unsteady. “Rory, we’re fighting and I said a thing I didn’t mean. It doesn’t excuse it, but –I’m so sorry. You have to believe me. You’re one of the most amazing journalists out there right now, and I’m not just saying that because I’m your boyfriend and I love you. I’m so sorry.”

After a long and icy silence, Rory met Jess’ gaze –with very little affection, which made him nervous. “But you think I should work at _People Magazine_ –that that’s where my amazing journalistic skills would be put to the best use?”

“No,” Jess sighed. “We’re fighting. I’m angry. I said a shitty thing. I’m sorry, Ror. I didn’t mean it.”

“I do believe you. I know you’re sorry,” she said coldly, “and I’m sorry for being so terrible to you when you’re just trying to help, you don’t deserve that.” She disappeared into the bedroom and reappeared a moment later carrying his pillow and the throw blanket from the end of the bed, the same one he got for her when she was sick. “I do believe you. I love you and I’m sorry for treating you like shit. But until I’m less furious at you, you’re sleeping on the couch,” she said, practically whipping his pillow and blanket at him before disappearing into the bedroom again and slamming the door shut.

Jess sat in the dark in their living room for a long time. When he heard Rory’s sobbing echo softly through the bedroom door, his chest ached. She may have only been letting it out for ten minutes a night and as much as he knew it wasn’t healthy for her to keep that tight a lid on it –ten minutes were ten minutes. He should be in there holding her, stroking her hair and whispering sweet things, telling her he loved her –not banished to the couch for saying something he should have known better than to say. Rory was keeping him at arm’s length because she probably felt like it was the only way she’d be able to keep going every day. She could only allow herself to crumble for ten, all too brief moments every night and instead of Jess being able to hold her and keep her together, she was alone, having to pick up the pieces herself.

It did occur to Jess that he could just say, “Fuck it,” and march into their bedroom and gather Rory in his arms anyway. His body ached with the overwhelming desire to get off the couch and do just that. But he had a distinct gut feeling that if he did, she’d throw him out and it would take even longer for them to work through this –whatever this was. She was too upset tonight; too mad at his _People Magazine_ jab, which she had every right to be pissed about. If this persisted past tonight, he’d be able to throw caution to the wind and hold his love while she cried, her anger at him be damned. But he couldn’t do that, not tonight –the wound was too fresh. He hoped that he wouldn’t be sleeping on the couch for long enough that he’d need to resort to mutiny in order to be allowed back in their bed.

He understood –as best he could, anyway- that she was mixed up, scared and dealing with something unimaginable. More than anything, Jess just wanted the ordeal to be over; he wanted Rory to be happy again. It was like this whole mess was causing the woman he loved to vanish, right before his eyes; he wanted it to be over, done and solved before she was totally gone.

Jess would eventually fall into a restless sleep; plagued by thoughts of wondering whether he was the only one Rory was disappearing from. He realized, with a sinking stomach, that she was probably slowly vanishing from everyone else too; slowly retreating until one day, there’d be almost nothing left.

“Please let this be over soon. She can’t go on like this much longer. I want my Rory back,” he whispered in the dark as his eyes drifted closed.


	61. Chapter 61

When Rory received the first email, her blood ran cold. She burst into her editor’s office, visibly shaking. Within an hour, she received another. Her editor called the F.B.I. and she went home from work that day with a protective detail. By the next day, her F.B.I. agents were swapped out for a Secret Service detail; she was told they’d be with her at all times –no negotiation. They set up a security check outside Hamilton Court and monitored all traffic moving in and out of the building. Rory and Jess were not allowed to check their mail without one of the Agents present.

Everyone directly or tangentially involved in their lives was subject to an extensive background check; Truncheon was being monitored, incase Jess were to start receiving threats directed at him.

They did a sweep of Jess and Rory’s apartment to make sure it wasn’t bugged. Rory’s car was turned inside out to make sure nothing was planted on or inside the vehicle; thankfully, they found nothing, but they confiscated the car to keep Rory safe –anywhere she needed to go, an armed Agent would escort her in a car with bulletproof glass. Jess was given his own armed escort as well.

A patrol car from Hartford was stationed outside of Lorelai and Luke’s home. This was too grave a matter for even the townspeople of Stars Hollow to make jokes about. For the first time in recorded history, Babette and Miss Patty said nothing suggestive about broad-shouldered men –the detectives sitting watch over Lorelai’s house, monitoring all activity.

Emily and Richard were under the watchful eye of the Hartford P.D. as well –a cruiser permanently parked outside the mansion monitoring all activity in and out and checking over their mail- to make sure they were safe.

Rory wasn’t particularly religious, but she went to sleep every night praying that this whole mess would be solved while her eyes were closed and that she’d be able to wake up in the morning and get her normal life back. But every morning she woke up and things stayed the same. One day turned into two, three, four and five. They hadn’t made her go into hiding or stop going to work, so she threw herself into work because it was one of the only things she had. There was, though, the ever-present, gnawing knowledge that it was her work that caused all the trouble. The work she loved had somehow left her life in ruins and every day when she woke up, it became harder and harder to recognize herself in the mirror.

And Jess. She was even managing to alienate him. He was trying so hard to be strong for her; he was so patient and supportive it broke her heart, because all she could do was push him away and take shot after shot at him. He took it without throwing anything back at her; he even let her keep hitting him when she’d knocked him down. Rory could barely look at herself in the mirror and she hated herself every day for wanting a career that was ruining her. She couldn’t justify the fact that even though it was ruining her, she still wanted it. Jess just kept loving her through it all, and she couldn’t even let him –not without making it as hard for him as possible.

And then last night, they fought. She took one too many shots and Jess finally hurled one back at her. Rory knew he didn’t mean it –she knew he said it out of anger and fear and nothing more. No matter how justified he was in finally being angry enough to hit back, what he’d said cut like a knife and before she knew it, Rory was throwing his pillow at him, banishing him from the bedroom. So when five days turned into six and Rory woke up alone, she barely even felt alive. She rolled onto Jess’ side of the bed, inhaled his scent deeply and cried.

Jess heard her laboured breathing from where he lay on the couch, and got up. He stood outside their closed bedroom door and pressed his palm against it, clenching his jaw against his own tears. “Rory,” he whispered, “I’m still here. I’m so sorry. I love you. I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m sorry too,” Rory said softly. After a long silence, she added, “You should go to work.”

“I can wait for you if you want. We can leave together.”

“No. Go to work Jess.”

“Okay,” Jess sighed. “I love you, Rory.”

“I –I –I,” Rory stammered through tears, “I don’t know why. Maybe you shouldn’t. It might be safer that way.”

“Too bad. If loving you isn’t safe, then I guess I’ll have to change my name to Evel Knievel.”

“Have a good day, Jess.”

“Yeah. You too, Ror. I’ll see you tonight,” Jess sighed heavily.

“Wait!” Rory opened the bedroom door a crack and handed him a fresh pair of boxers, a tee shirt and a pair of jeans. “You shouldn’t go to work wearing the same thing you wore yesterday… and then slept in.”

Jess covered Rory’s hand with his as he took the clothes from her. “Ror,” he pleaded in a whisper.

“Don’t. I can’t. Just go. Please. If the guys ask about me, just lie. Tell them I’m –well, tell them I’m better than I am.”

“Rory, you’re scaring me.”

“I’m scaring me too. Go to work, Jess. Stay safe. I love you. Now go, please.”

“Are you going in today?”

“Of course I am. I’ve gone in every other day.”

“I just thought –you don’t exactly seem up to it today. I’m sure they’d understand if you –”

“I’m going to work. Just because I shed a few extra tears when I woke up doesn’t make me a fucking basket case.”

“I never said it –”

“I have to get ready,” Rory said curtly. “You should go.”

“Okay. I’ll see you later.”

Rory’s burner phone rang shortly after Jess left. It was Lorelai –she was one of five people outside of law enforcement who knew the number, the others being Luke, Emily, Richard and Jess. Rory ignored the call and hurried to the bathroom; she had to get to work.

* * *

“She’s getting worse, you guys,” Jess said to Lorelai and Luke over the phone when he arrived at Truncheon.

“I know she is,” Lorelai sighed. “She ignored my call this morning. She hasn’t ignored a call from me in years. Her grandparents called me today, she’s ignoring their calls too.”

“This is very bad,” Luke sighed. “Are they really no closer to figuring out who’s behind this? It’s been almost a week.”

“Need I remind you how long it took them to get bin Laden?” Jess asked with a sigh. “This might be going on for a while. Unless the guys threatening her magically disappear or give up.”

“Have they told you anything?”

“Of course not. Even the classifying authority on this is classified. I’m the lowly boyfriend. No one would tell me anything even if I bribed them with everything I own. Even if I were her husband, they still couldn’t tell me anything. They’re watching me too, which is comforting, in a terrifying way. I guess I’m a target too. As soon as they realized I wasn’t behind it –which happened pretty fast, thank God- I got my very own _Men in Black_ Agent.”

“Oh! Do they have those memory-erasing laser thingies?” Lorelai asked. “Ours doesn’t have one…”

“No,” Jess said. “No memory-erasing lasers. Although I gotta be honest, if they had them, I’d have had them flashy-thing me as soon as they erased Rory’s memory back far enough to forget all this. I’m really worried. If this goes on for too much longer, the way it’s going, I’m worried she’ll never be the same.”

“She will,” Luke assured his nephew. “How are you holding up, Jess?”

“I’m holding. The ‘up’ part would be a lie. We had a fight last night. It was bad. I said something stupid.”

“Jess, she knows you didn’t mean it. You guys are going through hell. You’re both scared. Tensions run high, tempers flare. You say things you don’t mean. You’re nasty to each other because being nasty is easier than living in a reality that you’d give anything to have not be real. Give it time. Once this blows over, you guys will find your way back.”

“What if it takes six months to ‘blow over’?”

It took Luke a few seconds to answer. “This will not tear the two of you apart, Jess. If you could survive everything that you guys have been through, if Lorelai and I couldn’t keep the two of you apart back in the day, terrorist threats sure as hell won’t work. They have no idea what they’re up against.”

“Thanks Luke. I should go –get some work done. I love you guys. Kiss little William for me. I’ll talk to you later.”

* * *

“Mr. Mariano, I’m not a chauffer,” Agent Black said later that afternoon as he was driving Jess home. “You go to work, you go home. It isn’t safe for anything more. Now’s not the time for social calls.”

“It’s not a social call. Will you just take me here, please? I won’t be long,” Jess asked, handing Agent Black Tina’s business card.

Agent Black took it when they’d stopped at a traffic light and snickered through his nose. “Now’s not the time to go jewelry shopping, sir.”

Jess kicked the back of Agent Black’s seat. “You know what I was doing about a week before everything in my life hit the fan? I was looking at engagement rings. I picked an engagement ring. For Rory. It’s being custom made. That woman, Tina? She called me two days ago because she had a quote for me; I have to work out a payment schedule with her. I can’t call her back, because Rory’s more fragile than glass and I can’t think about frivolous things like rings when I’m at home with her. I don’t want to call from work, incase Rory needs me. The only time I’m not worried about Rory is for the very brief time that I’m in this goddamn car, with you –on my way back to her. So please, can you make a five-minute detour so that I can go into the store and explain to Tina that I can’t do a fucking thing about that ring until they catch the bastards hunting my girlfriend?”

Agent Black showed no signs that he’d heard a word that Jess had said. He drove in silence and turned around only once he pulled up in front of Jasmine’s. “You have five minutes. If anyone else is in that store, you turn around and you walk right back out and you get back in this car without so much as breathing. We clear?”

“Crystal. Thank you.”

“Five minutes, Mariano. Or I’m coming in to get you.”

“Five minutes is all I asked for,” Jess said before getting out of the car and running into the store.

Without going into any detail, Jess explained to Tina what was happening; he told her he couldn’t think about Rory’s ring –or how to pay for it- until this was all behind them. “If you want to hold off on making it until I can make a payment, I understand.”

“Oh, dear, no. I thought she looked familiar,” Tina said. “That’s your Rory? The one they’re talking about on the news?”

“Yeah,” Jess said, his voice cracking. “That’s my… my Rory.”

“Well, don’t worry about a thing. You just go be with her, and stay safe. I’ll be saying prayers for you both until this whole terrible thing is resolved. We will still start work on your ring –her ring. Something good should be waiting for you when the storm clears, don’t you think?”

“Thank you. Really. That –that means a lot. I should go. I’ll be back when –well, I have no idea… as soon as I can.”

“Before you go, here. Look,” Tina smiled, pulling the sketch of the ring out of a drawer. “Just a little preview, something to keep your spirits up, hmm?”

“It’s beautiful. It’s… perfect,” Jess whispered. As he continued to look at the drawing, his eyes welled up with tears.

“Remember, this storm too will pass. Keep your chin up, Jess.”

“Yeah. I’ll try. I gotta go.”

* * *

 Jess didn’t have to resort to mutiny. After one night on the couch, Rory let him back in their bedroom. But that didn’t do anything to ease the strain between them; Rory still barely spoke. She’d taken to falling asleep with her back to him, which was something that bothered Jess greatly –however illogical that may be.

On Friday, June third –Lorelai and Luke’s wedding anniversary- things went from bad to worse. Jess and Rory returned home from work to find a note attached to their apartment door: _We know where you live, little girl. Your boyfriend too._

“Home base has been breached,” Agent Black called in. “Move to contingency plan.”

“What contingency plan?” Rory asked shakily. “What’s happening?”

“It’s not safe for you to be here anymore,” Agent Costa said. “It’s just as well, because –”

“What the fuck do you mean, ‘Just as well’?” Jess barked, wrapping his arms around Rory, who was shaking like a leaf. “These sickos know where we live now? How’d they even get in? You guys are supposed to be protecting us. You’re supposed to be protecting Rory. You have a fucking checkpoint at the door of the building, for God’s sake.”

“Mr. Mariano, calm down,” Agent Black said. “The suspect likely got in while Agent Costa and I were with you and Miss Gilmore at work. This note makes it clear that you’re being targeted too. Shut off your cell phone right now, smash the memory chip. You’ll need to change your email address and shut down any personal or business social media accounts.”

“I haven’t been calm for almost three weeks, Shaft. I’m sure as hell not starting now,” he said. Jess took his phone out of his pocket and snapped the memory chip before throwing the phone to the ground and stepping on it. “I don’t have any social media pages but my publishing company does. Call my friends at Truncheon and explain what’s happened –they’ll deactivate all the accounts right away. Have them deactivate my email too. I’ll create a new one when all this is over. Now, what is your sidekick talking about with this ‘just as well’ crap? And will Truncheon continue to be monitored to make sure nothing threatening is sent to them in order to get to me?”

“Yes. We will continue to monitor Truncheon and yours and Miss Gilmore’s family in Connecticut until this is resolved,” Agent Costa assured him. “We didn’t want to say anything until we were sure, but we think we know who’s behind this. We’ve had eyes on the likely suspect for days. Now that things have escalated, though, we need to get you out of here –to safe houses. You and Miss Gilmore will stay in those safe houses until this is over.”

“Over? What do you mean, ‘over’?” Rory asked breathlessly.

“Until we neutralize the threat.”

“Wait,” Jess said. “Safe _houses_? Don’t you mean house?”

“No,” Agent Black said. “You and Miss Gilmore will be going to separate secure locations.”

“I’m not leaving Rory’s side. Try again.”

“All due respect Mr. Mariano,” Agent Costa said evenly, “but this isn’t up for debate. You do what we say. This is procedure. Going to separate locations is the safest option –especially since they’ve now made a threat against you. You either go willingly, or we make you go by force –that’s the only choice you get.”

“Where are you taking her?”

“We can’t tell you that, Mr. Mariano. If you were to know Miss Gilmore’s location it negates the whole purpose of keeping you in safe houses. Neither of you can know where the other is. It’s hard, I understand, but it’s the only way –it’s our best shot at keeping you both safe.”

“Oh God!” Rory cried. “This can’t be happening. Can I please wake up now? Please Jess; just wake me up! This can’t be real!”

“Shh,” Jess clutched Rory tight against him. “It’ll be okay. We need to do what they say, Rory. Look at me, please.”

Rory met Jess’ eyes slowly. The anguish he saw in them ripped him apart.

“Hi,” he whispered.

Rory’s face was turning red and getting hot in his hands. Each breath was a struggle; she couldn’t make a sound.

“I need to hear you say it back, Ror.”

“Hi,” she chocked out.

“There is one other option for you, Mr. Mariano,” Agent Black cut in.

Jess swallowed his rage at the good Agent for intruding on the most heartfelt interaction he’d shared with Rory in weeks. “What is it?” he asked, without taking his eyes off Rory.

“Do you have somewhere that you can go where no one would be able to find you? I’m talking somewhere that even your closest friends don’t know where it is.”

Jess thought for a moment. “Yeah,” he realized. “My Master’s advisor has a cottage about two hours outside the city. I’ve never actually been there but he told me about it a few months ago –said he goes there every year when the winter semester ends. It’s totally off the grid. The only way to reach him is to call his cell. He should be there now. No one knows about it but me. Even my closest friends wouldn’t know where I was if I went there. Not even Rory knows here it is. Hell –I don’t even know exactly where it is.”

“What’s your advisor’s name?”

“Stan –Stanley Famlookins.”

“We’ll run a background check on him and get a hold of him to make sure he’s there. If he is, you could go there if you want.”

“What’s my other option?”

“An undisclosed location.”

“Fuck that. Make the call to Stan.”

“While we look into Stanley Famlookins, you and Rory go inside and lock the door. One of us will stand watch. Take ten minutes to gather some bare necessities. Ten minutes is all, so choose wisely. And Mr. Mariano, if we can’t get a hold of Mr. Famlookins, you’ll have to come to the preselected secure location.”

“Here’s his cell number,” Jess said, handing them a crumpled piece of paper from his wallet. “Make the call.”

“Oh God, wait! What about my mom?” Rory asked Agent Costa.

“What about Liz?” Jess wondered aloud.

“Who, sir?” Agent Black asked.

“Liz Danes, _my_ mom.”

“We can’t tell either of your families where you’re going. But we will tell them that you’re being kept somewhere safe,” Agent Costa answered.

“Rory’s mother’s husband is my uncle,” Jess told him. “Please tell him I’m with Stan.”

“Just because we may be able to allow you to stay with someone you know doesn’t mean we –or you, for that matter- are at liberty to divulge your location. An agent will still be stationed at Mr. Famlookins’ cottage.”

“I’m aware that you can’t tell him where I am,” Jess said with an edge to his tone. “All I asked is that as long as you’re talking to Rory’s mom, can you please also tell her husband that his nephew is safe and staying with Stan. He should know I’m with someone I can trust. Is that allowed? Can you say that much to him and my mother? They will have no idea how to find me, I promise. Just tell them I’m with Stan –unless you want to deal with the wrath of my uncle and the stark-raving, moderately crazy woman that is my mother.”

“Yes, sir. We can do that. Now please, we must be quick about this. Go inside, lock the door and take some time to gather necessities –nothing non-essential,” Agent Costa instructed them.

As soon as Jess locked the door behind him and Rory, they wrapped their arms around each other so tightly that their muscles ached and burned at the strength of their embrace.

“I’m so scared, Jess,” Rory sobbed. “How did this even happen? Oh God!”

“It’ll be okay Rory. It’ll be over soon,” Jess whispered.  
             
“But what if it isn’t? What if their lead is a bust? What if it just keeps getting worse? Now they’re threatening you, too.  What if whoever’s doing this actually –?”

Jess tilted Rory’s face up gently and held her lovingly between his palms. “Stop it, Ror. Don’t even finish that sentence. That _will not_ happen, do you hear me? They’re splitting us up precisely because this thing is gonna be over soon.”

“But what if it’s not? What if –”

Jess cut her off by swallowing her questions in a deep kiss. He forced her lips apart and explored every nook and cranny of her mouth with his tongue. He held Rory tightly against him, pinning their bodies together by snaking a strong arm up her back and fisting her hair in his hand. Jess didn’t particularly care if he was rough. Pulling away slowly, he kissed her nose gently. “This will be over soon, Rory. And it won’t be over in the way that’s bad for us.”

“You sound pretty sure.”

“Because I am,” he said, offering her a gentle smile. “Come on, let’s get our stuff together.” Jess offered Rory his hand before they started making their way to the bedroom. For the first time in nearly three weeks, she took it and threaded her fingers through his, holding it tightly and firmly. Even this –the simplest of affectionate gestures, spoke volumes in this one moment –they were in it together.

Jess and Rory had had their share of tearful goodbyes throughout their relationship, but nothing compared to this moment –this parting that never should’ve had to happen.

“I’m so sorry for everything,” Jess whispered as Rory rested her forehead on his chest and cried. “I love you more than anything in this world, Rory. We’ll get through this. We’ll be okay.”

“How am I supposed to –not knowing where you are, not being able to talk to you until this is over? What if this goes on for weeks more?”  
             
Jess blinked away his tears and forced his emotions deep down as he realized that Rory was right –they had no idea how long they’d need to be apart for, not knowing each other’s whereabouts or even being allowed to speak to one another. He buried his own sadness and fear –he needed to be strong for Rory. “We have to go away for a while now, but you’ll be safe and so will I.”

“I love you. Oh Jess,” Rory cried. “I’m so sorry for everything I’ve put you through. Thank you for loving me even when I’ve been so awful to you. I don’t know what I’d do without you, you’re –”

“Shh. You’ll never have to find out, I promise. You’ll never lose me, Ror. I promise. We’ll get through this and everything will be okay again. No matter what happens –even though they’re making me leave your side in order to keep is both safe- I will never leave you. Just look at the Claddagh ring and remember, I’m yours for always.” Jess assured her through quiet tears of his own.

“Here,” Rory said, unclasping her silver pendant and dropping it into Jess’ palm, closing his fingers around it. “So that you remember too –always.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s a circle. Circles have no beginning and no end. They’re infinite –like us.”

“Rory, I love you, I love you so much. We’ll get through this,” Jess breathed. Tears were streaming down his face as he kissed her again.

* * *

“Jesus, kid, you look like hell,” Stan said when Jess arrived.

“Stanley Famlookins?” Agent Black questioned.

“That’s me,” he answered, handing Agent Black his driver’s license to prove his identity.

“Both of you wait by the car please.”

“Why?” Jess asked.

“I need to do a sweep of the premises before I let you inside, to be sure it’s secure. If both of you could wait by the car, please.”

“Sure, of course,” Stan said. “Come on Jess, give him a minute.”

Jess hung his head as they walked and stuck his fists in his pocket. He stared at the ground by the car. “I hope you don’t mind that I brought _Criminal Minds_ to your doorstep. They told me I could stay with someone I knew as long as no one knew where it was. I remember you told me about this place a few months ago, how you were totally off the grid when you’re here. It was either this or in some dingy motel, probably. So I just thought –”

“Jess. It’s fine. I’m glad you had them call me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Are you all right?”

“No. Really not.”

“How’s Rory?”

Jess looked pained as he made eye contact with Stan. “Not good. I’ve had to be strong for her, but it’s an act Stan. I’m watching her disappear and I –I’m disappearing too. But we’re not disappearing to the same place…”

“All clear,” Agent Black said. “Please come inside, lock the door and shut all the windows.”

Stan and Jess hurried inside.

“Are we allowed to drink? Jess and me –can we drink?” Stan asked.

“If anything happens and we need to get out of here in a hurry, you cannot be inebriated, sir,” Agent Black answered.

“I’m not a frat boy looking to get shitfaced at a kegger, Agent,” Stan sighed.

“It’s your cottage, Mr. Famlookins. You can do what you please. But if either of you get sloppy, I’ll have to put a stop to it.”

“Scouts honour, we will not get shitfaced. Come on Jess –kitchen’s through here.”

“I told her I wished she worked at _People Magazine_ ,” Jess said quietly when Stan handed him his drink. “When all this started –we fought because she was shutting me out and I told her I wished she worked at _People Magazine_.”

“I don’t blame you. Hell, I want her to work at _People_ right now, too.”

“Stan –you don’t get it. I told her –four years ago I told her, I promised her I would never ask her to compromise her dreams for me. I told her I wanted her to conquer the world, that I understood exactly what her dreams were and I that wanted her to conquer the world.”

“Jess,” Stan said slowly. “You’re dealing with something unimaginable right now. You were fighting and you flew off the handle. You’re scared, and rightfully so. Right now, in this moment, you have every right to want her to work for _People Magazine_. But just because you feel that way right now, just because you said it out loud one time –that doesn’t mean that it’s what you want for her whole life. She understands that. Rory knows you aren’t intentionally belittling her; you said that because you’re terrified for her, you’re terrified for yourself and right now, fuck yeah you want her to work for a celebrity lifestyle magazine –you want anything that’ll get you out of the situation you’re in. That’s allowed. You’re human.”

“You didn’t see the look on her face. You don’t know…”

“I’m sure I have a pretty good idea.”

“I don’t even know where they took her…”

“But they did that to keep you safe. You know she’s safe.”

“I don’t, though.”

“Yes, you do. I hate to get macabre on you right now Jess, but believe me: if –God forbid- she weren’t safe at this very moment, if something were to happen to her, you’d know. You’d feel it in your gut, in your bones. You’re too in love not to have a sixth sense when it comes to her.”

“I guess,” Jess sighed heavily. His hand started to tremble. “What if this never ends, Stan?” he whispered.

“It will end. They wouldn’t have sent you into hiding if they weren’t close.”

“They sent us into hiding because there was a threat attached to our apartment door.”

“Yeah, but Agent Chuckles out there told me when he called that they were close to apprehending this guy and you needed to be somewhere safe until it was all over. It’s Friday today, right? By Sunday, they’ll have found him and you and Rory can reunite and start getting back to normal. You’re here for a guys’ weekend, that’s all,” Stan smiled, clinking Jess’ glass.

Jess looked unconvinced.

“Don’t question me. I’m never wrong.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Your eyes are shifty, just like your mouth. You doubt me –never doubt me.”

Jess smirked slightly.

“I’ll do you one better.”

“How?”

“I bet that when they find this guy, he’s going to be a loner trying to impress whatever terrorist network he claimed to be part of but in fact, he’ll have no connections to it whatsoever. When they catch him, it will end with him. This won’t snowball. When they give you that ‘all clear’ it really will be – _all clear_.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“If I am, I get to make a speech at your wedding.”

“What?”

“I said ‘I bet’, which means, there’s a prize if I win. You’re telling me you’re not gonna marry Rory one day?” Stan questioned.

Jess swallowed hard. “I went ring shopping right before all this happened. It’s custom-made. I picked her engagement ring, Stan. What if I never get to propose?”

“You will. And She’ll say yes. You’ll get married. I’ll make the best toast you’ll ever hear –or the worst, depending on how you look at it I guess,” Stan laughed.

Jess downed his entire drink in one swallow. “What if you’re wrong? About the bet I mean. What if you lose?”

“For your sake, I hope I don’t –really, me making a speech is the lesser of two evils.”

“True. But still –if you’re wrong, that means I win by default. So if you lose, what do I win?”

“Name your price.”

“Anything?”

“I may severely regret this –but you’re having your life threatened so it’s the least I can do. Yeah. If I’m wrong and this hell you’re in persists, you get anything. Name it.”

Jess thought for a moment. “Read _Wuthering Heights_ and _Jane Eyre_ and write a comparative essay about how their depictions of Victorian women differ. Research, and use direct quotes from the novels. Look up Sparks Notes –whatever quotes they cite, you can’t use or if you do, you have to expand on them significantly. You’re not allowed to cheat, we have to be sure you read the novels and didn’t fake the whole thing.”

“We?”

“I won’t be grading you, Stan. Rory will.”

Stan laughed. “You certainly know how to hit where it stings.”

“I have been told that, yes.”

“You’re on,” Stan agreed, chugging the rest of his own drink and pouring them both another.

* * *

By Sunday, Jess was going insane. He was stir crazy and so worried about Rory that he thought he was going to be physically ill. “The clock is ticking, Stan. Looks like you were wrong,” he snipped.

“I’m not wrong until Sunday turns to Monday, Jess. We still have eight hours left for me to be right,” Stan told him, though his voice wasn’t as steady as he wanted it to be.

“Why do you think he’s on the phone so much?” Jess asked, nodding to Agent Black.

“I don’t know. I don’t have superhuman hearing. But he’s been on the phone more in the last hour and a half than he has since you got here on Friday. He hasn’t gone outside, which he’s done every other time. He’s staying in our earshot; he’s staying where we can see him.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is –if whatever he was talking about were bad news, he would’ve left the room. He’s stayed where we can see him, able to decipher every tick he makes. I don’t know if that’s a particularly good thing, but it’s not a bad thing either.”

When Agent Black disconnected his call, Jess and Stan looked at him expectantly. “We have to go to the F.B.I.’s Philadelphia Field Office,” he said evenly.

“Why?” Jess asked sharply. “What happened? Rory –oh God, Rory. Is she –?”

“Mr. Mariano, please stay calm.”

“Don’t fucking tell me to stay calm!” Jess yelled. “Stan and I have been barricaded in here for two days and my life has been a living hell for too long. So no, I think emphatically not! I’m way past calm! I’ve been locked in here for the whole weekend and now you’re telling us we need to leave. Why? You’re either going to tell me, or you’re not. If you don’t, I’ll still have my answer, won’t I? You think this is _not calm_? Go ahead, don’t answer my question –I dare you. Then you’ll know the true meaning of what it is for me to be _not calm._ ”

“Jess…” Stan started to say.

“Shut up Stan! Give the good Agent here a chance to answer my very reasonable, non-specific question.”

Agent Black held Jess’ angry gaze unflinchingly. After what seemed like a never-ending silence, he spoke. “I’m not at liberty to discuss the details here.”

“I didn’t ask for details. I asked why we have to leave. I asked if Rory was okay. Those are very simple questions that can be answered without a fuck of a lot of detail. Why are we leaving? Is this good or bad? Is Rory okay or isn’t she? You can answer both those questions in five words or less, if you feel like it.”

“Miss Gilmore is safe. The suspect is no longer a threat.”

“She’s safe?” Jess asked, suddenly lightheaded. “We’re –we’re safe? Our families, our friends? This is –this is –you’re saying this is over?”

“Yes.”

“Are you absolutely –absolute –are you absolutely sure?”

“Yes. Agent Costa is bringing Miss Gilmore to the Philadelphia Field Office now. She should be waiting for you by the time we arrive. You’ll need to be debriefed separately, throughout the course of which you will learn the pertinent details of how the situation was de-escalated and neutralized. Yours and Miss Gilmore’s family in Connecticut is being brought to the Field Office in New Haven, where they will be informed and given a standard debriefing.”

“Thank you,” Jess whispered. He turned on his heel to face Stan. “It’s over.”

Stan saw Jess’ knees wobble and lurched forward to grab him. Jess was like a lifeless child in his hands. “It’s over, you’re safe. Rory’s safe. Breathe, kid. It’s all okay.”

Jess sobbed loudly into Stan’s shoulder, finding enough strength to wrap his arms around his mentor and clamp his hands around his shirt collar –clinging to it for dear life.

Stan tightened his grip around Jess until his muscles burned. “Can I go with him? To the Field Office?” he asked Agent Black quietly, looking at him over Jess’ shoulder.

“Yes of course. You’ll need to be debriefed as well.”

“Jess,” Stan whispered. “Come on.”

Jess made no move to straighten his slouched form. He continued to sob incoherently into Stan’s shirt. Eventually, even his grip went limp from Stan’s collar.

Stan waited patiently until Jess quieted and took a hold of his face, looking into his sad, lost eyes. He spoke in even beats; jolting Jess’ head gently in time with the rhythm of his speech, in an effort to snap Jess back to himself. “Listen to me. Rory is fine. You are fine. Everyone you love is fine. We have to go. You wanna see Rory, right?”

Jess nodded wordlessly, mechanically.

“Then all we have to do is get in the car. Agent Black is gonna to take you right to her.”

“Stan,” Jess muttered. “I –”

“I know. Come on,” Stan said, helping Jess to his feet. “You don’t wanna keep Rory waiting too long, do you? You’ve had me for the last two days. I bet she’s even more of a wreck than you are –if you keep her waiting, that’s it man, she’ll lord it over you for the rest of your life. I don’t really think you can afford to be giving away such powerful ammunition right now. Of course, if you drop dead of shock before you even get to her, that’s a whole different load of trouble. I like Rory, but I don’t want her somehow holding me responsible for your demise –she’ll kick my ass.”

“Yeah, she would,” Jess said quietly.

“Well then let’s go, Mariano! My ass is on the line here!”


	62. Chapter 62

“I wanna see Rory,” Jess said, his voice raw with emotion. “Now.”

“She’s still being debriefed sir,” Agent Black said.

“I really don’t like you.”

“If you did, I’d be worried for you. You’re not supposed to like me.”

“Are you done with me?” Stan asked, before nodding to Jess. “Are you done with him?”

“Yes sir, you can leave if you’d like. We can arrange for someone to take you back to your cottage.”

“I’d like to stay, if that’s alright. Until Jess and Rory are –I’d like to stay.”

“Sure.”

“Are you finished talking to him?”

“Yes we are.”

“Where’s Rory?”

“Still being debriefed.”

“Why is it taking so much longer to talk to her?”

“Mr. Mariano was only directly targeted once. Miss Gilmore was targeted for over two weeks. It’s a longer process to debrief her,” Agent Black explained.

“But you’re –you caught the bastard, right? You’re sure this is really over?” Stan asked, worried.

“Yes Mr. Famlookins. It’s simply procedure.”

“Stan!” Jess sighed, closing the distance between them.

Stan pulled Jess into a quick hug.

“Sorry I –melted on you back there.”

“Don’t worry about it. If it were for any other reason, I’d make a joke about owning your ass, but in this case –you were totally justified to melt,” Stan smiled.

“I’m sorry I dragged you into this.”

“If you apologize to me any more, I’ll _kick_ your ass is what I’ll do.”

“They still won’t let me –” Jess’ voice cracked. “They still won’t let me see Rory.”

“They’re still talking to her Jess, that’s why.”

“I know, I know. But –”

“Stop,” Stan warned him. “Any minute now. Just you wait. In the meantime, tell me something of a lighter fare –who won?”

“What?”

“Am I dusting off my old-school calligraphy pen to write a wedding toast –or an essay?”

Jess cracked a subtle smirk. “You weren’t right about everything, but you were right about enough. A couple of severely deranged lone wolves, blah, blah, blah. It actually had nothing to do with the threats reporters were getting in New York or D.C. –not even connected,” he paused and swallowed hard, “they caught them –ki –killed them, traced down every connection in their lives. This thing died when they did.”

Stan let out a heavy sigh of relief and held Jess’ gaze. As he nodded, he felt a lump rise in his throat. Taking Jess’ hand, he pulled him into another hug and this time, he held his young friend tighter, closer, longer. Stan suddenly chuckled softly and held Jess at arm’s length. “Look who it is,” he whispered, guiding Jess by the shoulders to turn around.

Jess almost didn’t recognize her. Rory seemed more fragile –physically smaller than she’d been two days ago. Her skin was ashen, her eyes swollen with large dark circles casting shadows across her entire face. She was trembling so violently it seemed like a miracle that she was still able to stand. Her long, lean frame was swallowed up underneath a navy blue F.B.I. jacket –which they must’ve given her to help calm her shakiness. Jess knew instantly that she hadn’t slept one wink in the entire two days they were apart, making it almost _three_ days since the last time she’d closed her eyes.

“Jess?” she whispered in a small, childlike voice –almost as if he were a figment of her imagination and she didn’t trust her eyes to tell the truth. “Do –Dodger?”

That broke the spell. An emotional short burst of a cry escaped Jess’ mouth as he moved forward with arms outstretched. Rory tried to step forward as well, but her tired legs were too overwhelmed and when she shifted her weight, she tipped right into Jess’ arms. Jess was physically and emotionally exhausted, but seeing Rory gave him the surge of adrenaline he needed –when their bodies collided, he didn’t flinch and kept her held up by his own sturdy, solid frame –he was her rock.

Tears streamed down Jess’ face as he kissed Rory’s cheeks, her nose, her forehead. He tangled his fingers in her hair and buried his face in the crook of her neck and started to weep.

Rory snaked her arms underneath his and grasped his strong, toned back with all the strength she possessed, grabbing his shirt and balling it up desperately in her fists. One of her hands eventually found it’s way to the nape of his neck; as Jess had done with Stan earlier, Rory clamped onto the neck of Jess’ tee shirt and pulled on it so hard, the fabric left an impression in the skin of her palm. Somewhere in the recesses of her mind, the thought occurred to her that she was pulling _so_ hard that it must’ve felt tight around his neck, but he only responded by holding her tighter and closer and crying more.

Rory wept uncontrollably, her tears soaking right through the shoulder of Jess’ tee shirt. They stood there for a long time without saying anything –locked in a loving, strong, tearful embrace. Words didn’t matter.

As Stan stood back, watching their tearful reunion, he felt emotion swell up within him and wiped a few tears from his eyes. It was over. They were safe.

“Jess,” Rory whispered, while continuing to cry and clutch onto him, “can we go home?”

“Yeah, Ror,” he said, through tears that were still falling. He knew what she meant. “We can go home. We can go to Stars Hollow.”

When they finally pulled apart slightly, while keeping both arms around each other, Stan spoke softly. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Rory –you have no idea how –well, anyway. The Agents were going to arrange to bring me back to my cottage and –you should stay with me until you’re back in Connecticut. We can stop at your place and you can check in with your friends, to tell them you’re okay. Then you can grab whatever you need before I drive you home.”

“Drive us home…?” Rory asked, trying to calm her tears.

“I’ll drive you guys to Stars Hollow. You shouldn’t have to spend any time in your apartment right now. Just come stay with me; you can rest tomorrow and we can head out first thing Tuesday. We can make a quick stop at your place on Tuesday morning for you to grab whatever you need before you go. You shouldn’t have to stay in your apartment after everything that’s –I have an extra bedroom. You can stay with me; I’ll take you to get your stuff. I’ll drive you to Stars Hollow.”

“Really, Stan, you’ve done enough. Even just offering to let us stay with you is –” Jess paused, too overwhelmed to continue. “Thank you,” he said after a long silence.

“It’s the least I can do. And don’t try to convince me I don’t ‘have to’ or that I’ve ‘done enough’. If you argue with me, you’re going to lose. You guys have been through hell. Let me help, Jess,” Stan said gently.

Jess smiled gratefully and with that, the conversation was closed. He and Rory would be staying with him; Stan would drive them to Stars Hollow on Tuesday.

“Thank you, Stan. Really. You have no idea what it means to us. After us dragging you into this, you’d –” Rory swallowed her tears. “Just, _thank you._ For everything.”

Stan smiled gently and rubbed Rory’s back, nodding at her as he gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“Wait, Rory,” Jess said suddenly, “what about _The Inquirer_?”

“The second call I made after talking to Mom was to my editor. I’m on paid stress leave for six weeks,” Rory explained. “My job will be waiting for me –if I decide to return to it. We have time to work on getting back to normal and putting this whole mess behind us. We have time to find our way back to _us_ again, Jess. We have time to enjoy Lydia and Daniel’s wedding. I have time to do some serious thinking about whether I want to go back to _The_ _Inquirer_ or start fresh someplace else.”

Jess was a little worried about what she meant by ‘thinking about whether she wanted to return to _The Inquirer_ or start fresh somewhere else.’ He hoped with all his heart that this scary ordeal wouldn’t make her want to give up on a career he knew she still loved, in spite of all this insanity. But there was plenty of time to talk about how this would impact Rory’s career going forward.

“Yes, Ror,” he said softly. Jess kissed Rory’s forehead and leaned in so close that his lips brushed gently against hers and she could feel his warm breath as he spoke, “We have time.”

* * *

When Stan drove Jess and Rory back to Philadelphia on Tuesday morning to pack a few things before heading on to Stars Hollow, Rory didn’t even want to go inside the building she’d lived in for three years.

Jess had to pry himself away from her side long enough to run in and throw a bunch of their things into a large duffel bag, along with everything they’d need for the wedding. Even he had difficulty stepping into their once happy home –even though it was all behind them, everything about the apartment was tainted somehow. Their first home together, forever spoiled by the most unthinkable reason.

Jess ran up to Lydia and Daniel’s apartment and brought them out to see Rory. The reunion was somber and quiet, but full of relief. Daniel and Lydia had even considered postponing their wedding in the face of the threat against their friends –even with everything resolved it was still an option they took very seriously. It wasn’t Jess, but Rory who convinced them otherwise.

“No,” she said meekly. “Please.”

Lydia sighed heavily. “But Rory, you –”

“No!”

Jess wrapped an arm around her. “Shh, Rory. It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Rory cried quietly. “Lydia, Daniel, please. You need to get married in three weeks. It’s when you wanted to get married. Everything’s okay. You don’t have to change anything for us. Everything’s been so –we need something good to happen. Something good _has to_ happen. Please.”

“She has a point,” Jess sighed. “The darkness shouldn’t rule our entire lives. If you guys –well, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t get married when you planned to.”

“Will you still be my bridesmaid?” Lydia asked gently.

Rory nodded slowly. “It’s a good thing I finished getting my dress fitted before any of this started.”

“Your organizational tendencies have many hidden benefits,” Lydia laughed.

“Are you okay, man?” Daniel asked Jess as the girls shared a tearful embrace.

Jess seemed to contemplate his answer. “Not really. But I’m more worried about Rory than I am about me, honestly.”

“Jess, come on. You don’t need to sugarcoat stuff.”

“We’re a long way from ‘okay’ –but we’re alive, together, and it’s over. We’re not okay yet, but we will be. Rory’s had it worse –it’s over, but I’m still so –it’s gonna take a while. We’re going to be in Connecticut until about five days before your wedding, we’ll go right from there to Ottawa. Rory’s off work for six weeks –paid stress leave; I have no idea what she’ll decide about what to do after that –this has really shaken everything she’s spent her whole life wanting.”

“That’s so hard –I can’t even imagine.”

“Yeah. It’s after your wedding that I’m worried about.”

“Why?” Daniel asked.

“Well, because eventually we need to get back to everyday life. Whether that includes the _Inquirer_ for Rory, who knows. But we were threatened in our own home, Dani Boy –a home we still live in. Did you notice how Rory didn’t even get out of the car until you were both standing right there, motioning for her to come out? She’s terrified.”

“Jess, that’s –I can’t –it’s impossible, I know. But listen, Lydia and I were talking before you got here and –well, we can’t do anything about the fact that we live in the same building where all this bad stuff happened, but we may be able to help with the apartment thing.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You just said yourself –Rory’s terrified. You probably don’t feel very comfortable in that apartment anymore either, do you?”

“I guess not, no.”

“Lydia and I are leaving for our honeymoon right after the wedding –we’ll be gone for two and a half weeks. Why don’t you stay in our apartment? We don’t mind. We can’t imagine you two being forced back into your place if you’re still not ready to be there.”

“Wow,” Jess said breathlessly. “Daniel, that’s –thank you,” he whispered, feeling his throat close up.

Daniel pulled Jess into a tight hug and pressed a spare key into his palm. “What’s ours is yours. Help yourself to anything while we’re gone. Can I tell you something else?”

“Lydia’s not pregnant, is she?”

Daniel punched Jess’ shoulder. “No, asshole. I got a job writing for _Canadian Living Magazine_ as a recipe critic and food editor. Lydia’s got an interview at _The Ottawa Citizen_ the day before the wedding. We’re going home.”

Jess smiled. “That’s amazing, dude. I’m proud of you –Lydia too. I’ll miss you, though. Nothing is gonna be the same.”

“I’ll be moving home to Ottawa with my new wife, not dying.”

Jess stayed silent and stared at his feet.

“Aw shit man –I’m sorry, I didn’t mean –”

“We didn’t die Frenchie, it’s okay. I was just gonna say, Ottawa though –come January you may as well be dead, huh? With those sub-zero temperatures…” Jess smirked.

“Very funny.”

“When are you moving?”

“We don’t know yet, exactly. It depends on how Lyddie’s interview at the _Citizen_ goes. _Canadian Living_ is willing to let me work remotely and travel back and forth until September.”

“Amazing,” Jess repeated. “This is great, man, really.”

“Rory’s tired,” Lydia nodded towards Stan, who was helping her get back in the car.

All three friends stood silently for a few moments. Lydia embraced Jess in a loving hug. “I’m glad you’re okay, Diana Barry. I don’t know what I would’ve done without my bosom friend.”

“Me too,” Jess whispered. “Rory and I, we love you guys so much –you mean the world to us, you know that right?”

They nodded.

“Did you tell him about _Canadian Living_?” Lydia asked Daniel.

“He did!” Jess said happily. “Your interview with the _Ottawa Citizen_ too! Congrats, Anne girl, that’s amazing!”

“Thanks. Did Daniel tell you you’re welcome to stay at our place for a while?”

“He did –it’s wonderful that you guys would offer to let us –we can’t tell you what it means to us. If you don’t mind though, I’d hold off on telling Rory your news for a while, just for a few weeks, until your wedding maybe, until she’s a little less fragile. She’ll be thrilled for both of you, you know that –but it might leave her feeling a little –”

“We get it,” Lydia assured him. “We can wait. We were planning to actually. We won’t spring it on her, but she has more important things to worry about right now.”

“So… in the spirit of good things needing to happen in the face of all this terror –can I tell you something –can you keep a secret? Please don’t –I mean this isn’t happening right away. We just spent almost three weeks living in a nightmare and we need to get back to normal. I don’t want to –right away as a kneejerk reaction to everything –it wouldn’t be right if I did it that way –but if this whole ordeal has taught me anything –I mean, made me sure of something I already knew…”

“Jess,” Daniel smirked, patting his shoulder, “complete a sentence so that we have a hope in hell of understanding what you’re getting at.”

“Sorry,” Jess chuckled. Taking a deep breath, he continued quietly, “I went back to Jasmine’s Fine Jewelry before everything in our lives went to shit. I picked an engagement ring for Rory –”

Lydia’s hand flew to her mouth. “Oh my God!”

Daniel laughed excitedly. “That’s so great, Jess!”

“Tina’s having it custom made now, even though I told her I couldn’t think about it until all this was behind us. I refuse to propose as a kneejerk reaction to our lives being threatened,” Jess continued, smiling a little. “I want us to be back to normal; this has to be behind us –I don’t even know exactly when I’m going to pick up the actual ring itself –or pay for it, for that matter. But it’s being made now –it’ll be waiting for me whenever I’m –we’re ready. It’s not going to happen tomorrow or next week or even next month –but I’m gonna ask Rory to marry me.”

Lydia’s eyes immediately welled up with tears and she hugged Jess again, holding him close. “Jess, I’m so happy for you. You and Rory –the love between the two of you is just so –it’s everything. And don’t worry about the timing. Even if you end up having the ring for a while –you shouldn’t do it until you know the timing is right.”

“That was my thinking, even _before_ our lives turned into a _Criminal Minds_ two-part cliffhanger,” Jess laughed lightheartedly. The sound was foreign to him; it was something he thought he might never be able to do again, not truly anyway –laugh lightheartedly. He looked over to Rory, who was staring, blank and forlorn, out the window of the backseat of Stan’s car. Jess prayed that he’d be able to hear Rory’s lighthearted laughter sometime again soon.

“Jess, this is so wonderful. You two are meant to be with each other,” Daniel smiled, pulling his friend into another hug and speaking softly in his ear. “I think you have the right idea –wait until you know the time is right and Rory’s found her way out of the darkness. When the time is right, you’ll know. We love you man, always.”

“We love you guys too, more than you know. Well, I shouldn’t keep her waiting,” he said. “We have a long drive to Stars Hollow ahead of us.”

“Oh my God! Wait!” Daniel said suddenly.

“Oh yeah! You’re right –what about? Wait!” Lydia realized.

“More words guys,” Jess laughed. “Just because the two of you share a brain doesn’t mean I’m in on it.”

“What about Truncheon?” they both wanted to know. “Your work?”

“Those guys are my brothers. What’s happened with Rory and I over the last few weeks has really gotten to them. They’re rallying behind us and it’s –” Jess stopped to swallow the lump in his throat. “They’re letting me work from Stars Hollow and then Ottawa for as long as I need –they told me I didn’t need to come in until I was ready. We’re gonna have a bit of an extended stay in Ottawa after your wedding –it’ll be so good to get away.”

“Take care of each other Jess,” Lydia said softly. “We’re so glad you’re okay. I’ve never seen Rory quite like this though, I’m really worried about her.”

“I am too,” Jess sighed. “But before we left the F.B.I. Headquarters here in Philly they made a referral to a really good local therapist for us to talk to in Connecticut, to help us cope with all this. We’re gonna be in Stars Hollow for about two and a half weeks; they made a few calls and Rory and I will have access to a top notch psychologist who’s willing to see us twice a week. I don’t know if five or six sessions will be enough, but it’s a start at least.”

“It is a start,” Daniel smiled. “One day –sometimes one minute –one second at a time is all you can do."

“So,” Jess said with a massive sigh, trying to sound upbeat. “I guess I’ll see you two suckers at the alter, huh? Don’t worry, Lydia, I’ll make sure he doesn’t run. It’s standard groomsmen protocol to ensure that the groom doesn’t run,” he winked.

Jess hugged his friends and returned to Stan’s car, wrapping Rory in his arms and rocking her back and forth gently. They smiled softly at Lydia and Daniel as Stan slowly pulled away from the curb.

“Do you think Rory’s going to be okay, Lyddie?” Daniel asked.

“I hope so,” Lydia whispered.

Daniel tightened his arms around Lydia’s waist and kissed her neck chastely. “If anything ever happened to you. I mean, if anyone ever threatened you like that –I don’t know what I’d do.”

“There’s no use in worrying about things that _could_ happen, that aren’t _actually_ happening, Dan. We know that could’ve just as easily been me in Rory’s shoes. But I’m trying really hard not to think about that. Our friends are okay –they’re alive and they’re okay. And I’m here with you and we –we’re getting married in three weeks.”

* * *

Even Stars Hollow –the place that is perpetually and comfortingly always the same- seemed different after the ordeal that Jess and Rory had been though. People talked louder, lights were brighter –it’s like someone had cranked everything up a notch. Even though, ostensibly, nothing had changed, everything seemed more abrasive and overwhelming to their senses.

“You grew up here?” Stan asked Rory as he drove.

“Yeah,” Rory said quietly.

“My God, this place is like the lovechild of Pleasantville and the Land of Oz.”

Jess chuckled. “I love you, Stan.”

“How did you stand it here, Jess?”

“I pretty much thought I was in hell the whole time. I wasn’t yet mature enough to realize that Luke actually gave a crap about me. He was always on my ass about something –I deserved it, but still. The only thing here that I ever cared about –the only reason I didn’t bolt the day after I got here and disappear for good was this cute little blue-eyed bookworm. I tried to get her to escape out a window with me. But she wouldn’t go, so I had to stay.”

Rory smiled up at Jess and he kissed her forehead. She rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes against the bright sun.

“Is this the place?” Stan asked before pulling into Lorelai and Luke’s driveway.

“Yeah, this is it,” Jess answered.

Luke and Lorelai were waiting nervously on the porch. When they saw Stan pull up, they ran down the front steps.

Rory opened the car door slowly. “Mom!” she cried. She stood and immediately found herself being pulled into her mother’s arms.

Lorelai screwed her eyes tightly shut and sucked back her tears. “Hi, babe,” she whispered. “Aw, my girl. You scared me!”

“Sorry,” Rory sniffled.

“I love you Rory.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

Jess got out of the car and locked eyes with Luke, who looked disheveled and more short of sleep than he’d ever seen him. They stood staring into each other’s eyes for about five seconds before Jess’ chin started to quiver and he let out a shaky sigh.

Luke took one giant step forward and pulled Jess against him, wrapping one arm around his back and using the other to hold his nephew’s head against his chest. “Are you okay?”

“All things considered, yeah. I’m good. Where’s Liz?”

“At her place. I told her I’d call her when you got here so that she could come over and see you. I figured it best not to loose your mother on you right off the bat.”

“Bless you,” Jess smirked.

“Stan,” Luke said, offering his hand. “Thank you so much for bringing them home –and letting Jess stay with you while –it’s everything, really,” he said, getting chocked up.

“Yes, thank you Stan!” Lorelai smiled gratefully.

Luke reached over to swipe tears off Rory’s cheeks and give her a hug.

“It was my pleasure. It’s great to see you both again, though I’m sorry it’s under these circumstances,” Stan said.

“Why’s it so quiet?” Rory asked. “I would’ve thought we’d be seriously overwhelmed with well-wishers by now.”

“We asked everyone not to overwhelm either of you. Luke made them swear they wouldn’t, under threat of serious physical harm,” Lorelai explained.

Stan laughed. “Is that an exaggeration?”

“Which part?” Jess asked.

“I don’t know –”

“None of it is.”

“Seriously?” Stan questioned.

“Seriously,” Jess confirmed.

“Stranger and stranger…”

“Thank you,” Rory said.

“What for, Hun?” Lorelai asked.

“Making sure people gave us space.”

“And threatening them with violence,” Jess added dryly.

“No problem,” Luke answered.

“Well, I should go –let you two get settled in,” Stan said to Rory and Jess.

“Aw Stan, you drove them all this way. There’s no use in you getting back on the road now. Stay, have supper. Stay the night –we have the best couch in town. You can drive back to Philadelphia tomorrow,” Lorelai offered.

“Should I argue with her?” Stan asked quietly.

“No,” Jess and Luke said in unison.

“Alright then, Stars Hollow it is. Thank you Lorelai, that’d be lovely,” Stan smiled.

“Where’s William?” Rory asked when they entered the house. “It’s conspicuously quiet.”

“Sookie and Jackson are looking after him for a few days, just until you guys settle in,” Lorelai told her.

“Hey, Uncle Luke?” Jess said, pulling him aside. “Do you think you can call Liz? Tell her I’m here and she should come for supper. I’d like to see her and I’m sure she’d like to see Stan. But I just –I can’t –I can’t stress how much I _cannot_ deal with T.J. right now –well, ever, really –but especially right now.”

Luke smiled. “You got it kid. If she’s hell-bent on bringing him, I’ve been practicing my swing. It’s been a while since I’ve swung a baseball bat, but you know, I hear it’s like riding a bike…”

“Have I said bless you?”

“Yes.”

“Bless you twice.”

“Just call me Saint Luke.”

“Never gonna happen,” Jess chuckled. “Did you cook?”

“What?”

“Supper. I don’t think Stan’s a Pop Tarts and beer kinda guy. I mean beer, definitely, but –”

“I cooked Jess,” Luke rolled his eyes. “I would’ve starved long ago if –”

“Right. Sorry.”

Jess couldn’t remember ever being so happy to see Liz. He didn’t even mind her incessant ranting, raving and crying. But she did sob on Stan’s shoulder for an hour and thank him for saving her baby’s life –marveling at how Philadelphia had the best teachers in the whole world.

 _Yup_ , Jess thought to himself. _Even in the aftermath of having my life threatened by stalkers, small doses of Liz are all I can take. I’m so glad I have a key to Lorelai and Luke’s place instead of hers._

“Sorry,” he said to Stan when Liz finally left. “Really.”

“Now, see? Her, you can apologize for,” Stan laughed. “Listen, I’m going to say goodbye now. I’m probably going to hit the road early and I don’t want to drag you out of bed; you need to rest –you and Rory both. Do you know when you’ll be back in Philadelphia?”

“Not exactly. Probably within the first week of July. So much is up in the air all of the sudden…”

“Totally understandable. When you get back, give me a call, okay? We should go for a drink –a drink not tainted by you fearing for your life and the life of the woman you love.”

“Absolutely. Thank you so much, Stan –for everything. You’ve just been –there are no words.”

“Anytime. If I ever need you to repay the favour –”

“You can hide away with me and Rory for the rest of your life.”

“I’ll hold you to that, kid. A surly guy like me has a lot of enemies,” Stan laughed, pulling Jess in for a hug.

* * *

Jess was barely sleeping. He knew it was over –he wasn’t living in fear, but he could barely sleep. Part of his sleeplessness was due to Rory’s nightmares –she woke up screaming at least twice a night for the first week they were in Connecticut. The only way she could calm down was if Jess gathered her in his arms and rocked her back to sleep. “It’s okay, sweet girl. I’m here. You’re here. We’re together. We’re fine. You’re home. Shh, I love you. I promise it’s okay. You’re okay Ror,” he would whisper.

Jess became accustomed to not sleeping much, so that Rory could. Every morning, Luke and Lorelai would feign ignorance, but they’d exchange knowing glances with Jess. They weren’t aloof at all.

Therapy was a very weird experience, but both Rory and Jess were glad for the safe space it offered, allowing to talk about how they were coping. Their therapist was a petit Polish woman, not much bigger than Lane. She wore black-framed glasses and always had a pot of hot tea in her office, ready to serve. Jess was surprised she didn’t have finger sandwiches too.

She said they were lucky –not only in how relatively quickly things resolved without getting _too_ dangerous- but also that this incident bonded Rory and Jess together rather than ripping them apart.

Rory embarrassingly recounted the fights she and Jess had had; how she froze Jess out for weeks and how she got mad at him for wishing she’d work at _People Magazine._ But the therapist shook her head and assured them that this was a normal coping mechanism for being threatened; what mattered was that they’d weathered the storm and were standing together when the skies cleared.

 _Tina has no idea how wise she really is,_ Jess thought to himself.

The therapist’s office was in Hartford and Jess was always done with his portion before Rory. So twice a week while Rory had a one-on-one session, Jess had lunch with Emily and Richard.

“We were awfully scared for the both of you Jess,” Emily told him one day. “You have no idea.”

“Believe me, I do,” Jess assured her with a smirk.

“How’s Rory doing, Jess? She talks to us so seldom of late,” Richard said with a sad sigh.

“Don’t take it personally, you guys. She’s hardly talking to Lorelai or Luke or Lane –me even. She’s getting better though. A lot better. Slowly –but a lot better.”

“Yes, we have noticed an improvement from this week to last,” Emily said gratefully. “I hope it continues.”

“I’m sure it will,” Richard assured her.

“It will,” Jess said. “I’d be the first one to tell you that therapy’s a load of bull, but it’s helping. Rory especially. Rory’s the most determined –she –she’ll get through this, she just needs time.”

“How are you, Jess? I’m sure this isn’t exactly how you envisioned your life being, just having graduated.”

“Nope –it’s thrown me for a loop, that’s for sure. I’m okay though, all things considered –I think. Sleeping’s hard. I’m a little jumpy, but. I just –I’m just glad it’s over and I’m so grateful it wasn’t worse. It could’ve been…”

“Now, Jess,” Emily patted his hand reassuringly. “It’s all behind you. Nowhere to go but up, right?”

“Yeah. I mean, I hope so. I’m worried about Rory. I’m worried that this whole thing is going to make her rethink her entire life. Being a journalist is everything she’s always wanted. I’d hate to see all that be undone…”

“Oh, I don’t think her life will be undone,” Richard said. “She was on a clear path that’s served her exceedingly well and suddenly, people started playing fowl – _very fowl_. She, like you, has been thrown for a loop. Rory will find her way back to her path, Jess. She’s done it before and she will do it again. It may take no small measure of time, but she will. If she were unable to, I dare say we wouldn’t be able to notice such a positive change in her in such a short time.”

Jess smiled. He knew Richard was right. Jess knew Rory well enough to know she’d find her way back to herself with time. But still –there was a small part of him that was terrified that the loop that Rory had been thrown was a little _too_ big for her to find her way back from. Every day, when they were working through their feelings and he noticed, day-to-day that she was getting better, that fear got smaller –but until Rory was fully back to herself, no matter how small it got, the fear would still be there.

Christopher was calling Rory a few times a week to check in, but he had a hard time not taking Rory’s newfound meekness and shyness personally. Eventually, even though she loved her dad, Rory found the calls exhausting. She asked him to stop –she told him it was too much for her right now and promised to call when she and Jess returned to Philadelphia and started getting their normal lives back.

Jess found himself wondering if Rory’s father knew his daughter at all. He wondered whether or not he’d ever get to meet the man –after over five years, they’d still never laid eyes on each other. If Jess were to say he was troubled at the prospect of possibly never meeting Christopher, it would be a lie. For all intents and purposes, Luke was Rory’s father –and his own father too, which he found darkly comical.

Paris and Doyle called a few times too, relieved to hear Rory slowly but obviously improving.

During their last few days in Stars Hollow, the proverbial wind shifted. Rory was still tired and easily overwhelmed, but she suddenly wanted to go out. She wanted to spend time at Lane and Zach’s and visit the twins; she wanted to go see Andrew at the bookstore; she even spent an afternoon with Babette, Miss Patty, Gypsy and Sookie, telling them all about life in Philadelphia.  

Rory still had trouble sleeping through the night, but by the time they were getting ready to leave Stars Hollow, she wasn’t screaming when she woke up.

On their last Friday in Connecticut, Luke, Lorelai, Jess and Rory even had Friday night dinner with Richard and Emily.

Their therapist agreed to continue with both Jess and Rory over the phone, rather than have them need to get acclimatized to someone new in Philadelphia.

Rory was emotional at the prospect of leaving Stars Hollow to reenter the world. But she was positive about it. She looked as worn out as Jess had ever seen her; but her smile was back, she was laughing again. They both still had a long way to go, but Jess was relieved.

“You ready for a big, white, Canadian wedding?” Jess asked softly, wrapping his arm around her on the plane.

“Yeah, I am. Jess?” Rory whispered.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for loving me.”

“I’ve never been good for much else. I mean sure, my life is pretty great now, but without you it never would’ve happened, so thank _you_ ,” he whispered, kissing her lips gently.

“I’m sorry for –”

“Nothing. You’re sorry for nothing, Rory. Stop torturing yourself. Life gets scary sometimes. You’re never alone –you’ll never be alone. You’ll always have me, and I’ll always have you. Even when we get mad and things are hard. This is what it is –you, me. We’re always, Rory. No matter what.”


	63. Chapter 63

Jess and Rory arrived in Ottawa on June twentieth, five days before Lydia and Daniel’s wedding. They were caught up in all sorts of wedding prep activities. Jess was glad for the constant activity and positive distraction, it allowed both he and Rory to completely forget about the drama and intensity that had ruled their lives for so many weeks and focus on something altogether joyful.

Ottawa was a beautiful city filled with charm and character. Both Rory and Jess agreed that the Canadian Parliament buildings were rich with history and wisdom, simply based on curb appeal, that The White House seemed to lack, for all its grandeur and sleekness. They laughed when they passed the American Embassy on Sussex Drive, noting that it seemed on the defensive by design, with the thick metal gate lining its perimeter. They wandered through downtown and spent a day ambling in the ByWard Market, enjoying the pedestrian-filled cobblestone streets lined with shops, restaurant patios and outdoor merchant booths instead of cars.

Rory and Jess also found their way to Octopus Books at Bank Street and Third Avenue –the bookstore Lydia had told Jess about the night they met. He spent nearly an hour chatting with one of the owners and telling her about Truncheon; by the time he left, he’d all but hammered out a deal whereby Octopus would be the Canadian distributor of Truncheon’s independent titles while Truncheon would do the same for them south of the border.

It was no wonder Daniel and Lydia were so excited to be moving back to this place –it would be a lovely city to call home.

During the rehearsal dinner, Lydia pulled Rory aside and told her that she and Daniel would be moving back to Ottawa permanently by the end of the summer. Though she was a little sad at the thought of being without two of her close friends, Rory was happy for them.

Being somewhere new and welcoming, which had no associations with the negativity or fear they had just faced, did them both good. Jess almost wept with joy when he woke up early on the day of the wedding and realized that he _and_ Rory had slept through the night. He looked down at her, still asleep with her arm resting across his stomach and became overwhelmed at how peaceful she looked –something he hadn’t seen in longer than he cared to remember. When she stirred against him, he cradled her head in his hand and kissed her hair. “Rory,” he whispered.

“Mmmm,” Rory moaned sleepily, “five more minutes.”

“You have to get up, Ror. It’s past seven. You need to be with Lydia by eight-thirty.”

“Being a girl sucks. It’s gonna take you guys no time at all, but for girls it takes all day long. Okay, okay. I’m waking up.”

Jess smiled at her.

“What?” she asked.

“You slept. You slept all night.”

“I did, didn’t I?”

“Did you have any nightmares?”

“Not that I remember,” Rory said, starting to smile.

“Oh, my girl,” Jess ran his thumb along her cheek and leaned down to kiss her.

Rory deepened the kiss and ran her fingers along Jess’ scalp, tantalizingly twisting his short hair.

Jess sighed into her mouth and pulled away reluctantly. “Ror, we can’t. We don’t have time.”

“Today’s the day you choose to be levelheaded and say we don’t have time?”

“Because we don’t. I hate that we don’t, _believe me_. You need to get going.”

“We can be quick,” she whispered in his ear.

Jess groaned in protest. “No, we can’t. Because I have no intention of being quick. After everything, we’ve earned the distinct right to take our sweet time. There’s nothing ‘quick’ about it. So, before I lose all my restraint, please,” he whispered with a smirk, running his hands underneath her top and up and down her bare back, “go.”

Rory sighed and smirked back at him. “Fine, be that way.”

“I’ll make it up to you tonight.”

"I have no doubt,” she chuckled, getting out of bed and throwing on sweatpants and a tee shirt. Rory narrowed her eyes as she reached for the garment bag holding her dress and shoes. “You didn’t peek, did you?”

“No,” Jess smiled. “But only because the garment bag isn’t see-through.”

“I’ll see you at the altar, Mariano.”

“Well, actually before, since I’m walking you down the isle.”

Rory smiled lovingly and leaned down to hold Jess’ face in her hands. She kissed him slowly. “I love you, Jess.”

“I love you too, Rory. Have fun getting ready with the girls.” Jess watched her leave and then reset the alarm for nine. Before falling back asleep, he looked out the hotel window and smiled as the early morning sun warmed his face. For the first time in weeks, he knew –he was sure everything was going to be okay.

* * *

“How is it possible that you look like you’re more nervous than me?” Daniel asked Jess with a laugh.

“Because Rory and I spent the last month being hunted by crazies and she’s literally just getting her old sense of self back –which is all tense enough, but it’s also your wedding day and I’m about to walk her down the isle –also an independently nerve-wracking thing; add on top of that a healthy sense of déjà vu of the disaster that took place the last time her and I were part of a wedding party –even though I know history won’t be repeating itself- it all adds up to a healthy amount of terror,” Jess explained so quickly that Daniel’s eyes went wide. He smirked, “You’re just getting married, dude –that’s nothing. Plus, I blame the pink rose boutonnière for adding to my insecurity.”

Daniel laughed. “Well, I can’t say much about most of that –but blame Lydia for that last one –the colour scheme was her idea.”

“Never. She is the bride and this is her wedding day. Nothing is her fault and nothing gets blamed on her. It’s always your fault –‘happy wife, happy life,’ takes affect before she actually becomes your wife. Your life sentence started when the sun came up, Frenchie.”

“Rory’s really doing better?” Daniel asked.

“She really is. This city of yours is magic, Dani Boy.”

“I’m glad.”

Lydia was still outside the church, but while the boys were talking, Rory snuck up behind Jess and covered his eyes with her hands. She felt his face relax into a smile and she slowly let her hands fall and waited for him turn around.

Jess spun on his heel and felt the air escape his lungs. At the sight of her, he laughed quietly and covered his mouth with his hand, running his fingers through his beard to distract from his quivering chin. She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

Rory’s bridesmaid dress was a light pink covered in a sheer black overlay, creating an illusion neckline that ghosted across her throat and cap sleeves over a strapless, sweetheart neck. The dress was gathered in a crisscrossed, ruched pattern right under the bust, creating an empire-like waistline. Flowing up to the sweetheart and out from the waist above and below the crisscross panels were a pattern of delicate beads; the vertical lines of beading in the skirt drew the eye down to subtle pleating in the soft A-line that fell all the way to the floor, revealing a delicate lace rose detail in the overlay covering half of the pleats, alternating with plain black. Her hair was pulled out of her eyes by a simple bejeweled rose hairclip, securing it in a half-ponytail. Her hair fell freely down her back in softly curled ringlets; two long strands of her bangs floated meticulously free, framing her face in the same soft waves of warmth.

“You’re beautiful, Rory,” Jess whispered, taking her hands and blinking his tears away.

Rory tried to speak, but couldn’t find any words. Whether it was because of the sight of Jess in a black suit that hugged him perfectly, topped off by a midnight blue tie and a rose boutonniere to match her dress, or because she was simply overcome with emotion and happiness, she didn’t know. She smiled widely and when a tear escaped her eye, Jess cupped her cheek and caught it with his thumb.

“The wedding hasn’t even started yet; you can’t be ruining your makeup so soon,” Jess smiled.

“Jess, -I –” she tried to say. Her breath caught in her throat and she pulled Jess tightly against her.

Jess cradled her head in his hand and closed his eyes with a sigh of relief as he hugged her to him. “I know, Ror. Me too.”

When they stepped back, Rory saw Daniel smiling at her. She pulled him into a hug. “Oh, Dan. I love you and I’m so happy for you,” she whispered.

“Thanks Rory,” Daniel answered. “You look happy, too.”

“I am,” she grinned, stepping back to look him in the eye before locking gazes with Jess. “I am.”

When the music started to play, Rory looped her arm through Jess’. He laced their fingers together and held her hand against his chest as they walked slowly down the isle. Rory walked carefully, holding her bouquet in her free hand and smiling at a church full of faces she’d never seen before. The guests thought she was smiling at them, to be sure –but in fact, she was smiling because she could feel Jess’ heartbeat faintly against the back of her hand and it was perfectly timed with their steps. Jess kissed her cheek chastely before they turned opposite ways at the top of the isle file into their pews.

Anyone not sitting close enough might not have been able to see Daniel’s eyes become misty with happy tears at the sight of Lydia walking towards him. Her dress was soft –a strapless A-line ball gown –a sleeveless lace overlay covering the bodice. Antique buttons ran down the back. The lace stopped at the gown’s natural waist, which was adorned with a simple, light pink sash with a delicately beaded flower –the tails of the sash fell all the way down the plain, softly layered silk organza skirt. Lydia’s beautiful auburn hair was pulled back off her face in a uniquely side-swept French twist on the left side of her head, while the hair to the right of the part fell loose and free.

After a lengthy ceremony full of ritual and tradition, Daniel and Lydia were pronounced husband and wife –sealed with a kiss that saw him dip her dramatically as their lips locked.

* * *

“Excuse me! Hi there,” Jess said, having snuck up to the microphone during a break in the speeches at the reception.

“Aw, who let him have the microphone?” Daniel asked with a laugh.

“Your brother,” Jess answered without missing a beat. “Kick his ass later, if you must. Hi, I’m Jess Mariano and that,” he said, pointing to Rory, “is my lovely girlfriend Rory Gilmore. We realize that ninety-nine per cent of you don’t know us –probably haven’t seen us before in your lives. But –and please bear in mind, we’re American and humility is not our strong suit- you’re all here because of us. We’re responsible for this disgustingly beautiful pair meeting and falling madly in love. So, uh –you’re welcome.

“Lydia and Rory met while reporting on the Obama campaign and I met Dan The Man here when we were studying English Literature at Temple University in Philadelphia. We did not bond over a shared love of literature –but a shared hatred of math. I hear that Canada doesn’t require it’s students to take courses that have less than nothing to do with their Degree –I really should’ve gone to school here, but I digress.

“The brains of cupid’s trick belong not to me –but to Rory, of course, who thought it entirely logical to put Gilbert Blythe and Anne Shirley together. We’ve been lucky to know them and to be blessed with their friendship. We’ve been even luckier to watch them fall in love. Two better people could not have found each other –even if Rory and I hoard all the credit. We just put them together –Lydia and Dan did the rest.  
             
“After spending a few days in this beautiful city, we understand why you two long to call this place your home again –though in January, I have it on good authority that Mother Nature might make you question your sanity. Rory and I will miss you, but if you think moving back to Canada is enough to get rid of us, think again.

“Without your friendship, neither Rory nor I know what we would do. We are better people for knowing them –we’re better for knowing you. We raise our glass to the both of you, and pat ourselves on the back for a matchmaking job well done. Cheers –you’d better name your first born after us.”

“Maybe,” Daniel laughed.

“Okay, well, how about if I concede that your apple pie is just as good as ours?”

“You’re getting warmer…”

“Parliament Hill is nicer than the White House!” Rory yelled from her seat. “If I ever come here to cover politics, I might move! Jess, can we have a summer home here? No, wait –can we just live at Octopus Books?”

Jess was taken aback by Rory’s comment about covering politics –it was the first time she’d mentioned work since they left Philadelphia; the first time the subject had come up outside of tense conversations in therapy. He blinked hard and smiled at her, before forcing himself to speak so that the guests didn’t notice his shock. “ _Yeah_ we can,” he laughed, before looking at Daniel and Lydia. “Teach us some French?”

“Oui, monsieur,” Lydia smiled.

“To Anne and Gilbert!” Jess said gleefully. He was so fixated on Rory’s outburst of joy he nearly passed Lydia and Daniel without stopping to hug them. Passing his own empty chair, he knelt behind Rory. “Ror,” he breathed in her ear amidst cheering and clinking crystal, “did you mean what you just –”

“About being tempted to move here if I were ever sent to cover a story? Yeah,” she whispered.

“You –you still want to be a journalist? Are you actually saying you want to go back to work?”

“Of course I do. I can’t say exactly when or where, but –”

Jess took Rory’s hand and pulled her to her feet, wrapping her in his arms and kissing her deeply. They laughed against each other when they heard people cheer and clink their water glasses louder on account of the two of them.

For the first time in his life, Jess threw his ‘I don’t dance,’ rule out the window. Fast or slow made no matter –he was happy and Rory was glowing and damn it, he was going to dance. What was a wedding reception without a little bit of dancing like no one was watching? He twirled Rory around and dipped her to the floor. For a change of pace, he even took Lydia for a spin while Daniel danced with Rory.

“Thank you for making such a beautiful speech for us,” Lydia said as she and Jess swayed carelessly to the beat.

“Well, what are bosom friends for?” Jess winked.

“We’re better for knowing you and Rory too, you know."  
  
“Rory’s little interjection in my speech –it was the first time I’ve heard her mention even just the idea of going back to work with a smile on her face.”

Lydia grinned. “She’s working her way back, Jess. Without you, she might’ve stayed lost.”

“I don’t know if that’s true.”

“I do. You ground her, Jess.”

“I do love you, Anne girl,” Jess whispered, hugging Lydia close.

“You too, Diana Barry. Thank you for getting drunk on currant wine _after_ your speech.”

“How do you know I wasn’t drunk _during_ my speech?”

“You didn’t slur your words, trip away from the mic or run outside to vomit in a bush and then burp in front of an aghast crowd,” Lydia giggled.

“Gives me away every time,” Jess laughed, kissing her forehead lightly.

When it came time for the garter toss, Jess somehow found himself at the front of the crowd of men vying for the prize –not because he put himself there, but because he was standing right where the group happened to gather. He tried to extricate himself from the excitement, but he was literally strong-armed into staying right where he was by a group of rowdy guys grabbing him by the shoulders and joking about how _everyone_ saw the way he kissed Rory after his speech –if he thought he wasn’t next to be married he was a fool. Jess tried to pose the argument that if his being next to marry was a known and accepted fact –amongst a group of people who were predominantly strangers, no less- why did he need to be part of the garter toss at all? Best to let someone else’s fate be sealed by it, seeing as his already was –garter or no garter. But his reasoning fell on deaf ears. On a much simpler level, Jess didn’t relish the thought of being in possession of a moderately intimate piece of wedding attire that had spent the day and most of the night affixed to another woman’s –and his good friend’s- thigh.

Rory looked on at his obvious discomfort and giggled. Jess saw her and started mouthing muted requests that she save him from this madness; Rory’s laughter rang out like a melodic bell as she shook her head in refusal.

Daniel took one quick look at the crowd gathered behind him –for no other reason than to do some subtle sleuthing and pinpoint Jess’ exact location in the group. Waving the garter up in the air as enticement, he turned his back on them. Stretching the garter between the thumb of one hand and the pointer finger of the other, Daniel prepared to fling it in the same way one would release a slingshot. He closed his eyes tightly and pulled it taut before letting it snap out of his fingers and sail back towards the group of men vying for it. The instant it left his fingers, he spun around on his heal to watch it fly through the air –careening high before descending at a sharp angle and hitting Jess squarely between the eyes and falling onto his shoe.

* * *

“So, does this mean we have to get married next?” Rory laughed, letting Lydia’s garter hang off her finger when she and Jess returned to their hotel room in the wee hours of the morning.

“Technically, I guess. But it’s not like anyone’s policing us to make sure we actually _do_ get married before anyone else does. I say we take our time and lie if anyone asks,” Jess smirked. He wrapped his arms around her, pressed their foreheads together, closed his eyes and breathed deep. “Rory,” he whispered, “I love you. You’re everything. When you chimed in on my speech tonight, you –I felt –I was relieved. Everything’s gonna be okay. You’ll get it back.”

“Get what back?”

“Everything you thought was gone –everything you thought those bastards took from you. It’s not gone, Rory. They didn’t win. _You’re_ not gone. You just got a little lost –and that’s okay. You’ll find your way back. It might take some time, but you will. You _are_ , already.”

Rory looked at Jess and felt her eyes well up with tears. “You kept me here. _You_ are the reason I didn’t disappear. No matter how I treated you –you never- you didn’t let me get lost. You’re the reason I didn’t lose myself. The only reason I could run into Mom’s arms when we got back to Stars Hollow is because you didn’t let me get lost. I was disappearing, but you wouldn’t let me. You stayed. You never stopped loving me; you never let me forget who I am –the person who you love. I’m getting it back because of you. You. Are. Everything. I love you so much. I didn’t know –” she stammered through tears, “I didn’t know that I could –that I could love you so much. I had no idea that you could –that you would ever love me _so much_.”

“Shh, Rory,” Jess whispered, moving his hands to hold her face and pressing his thumbs under her eyes. “No more crying.” He felt Rory nod as their lips brushed together softly. The first contact was quick, chaste. They pulled back just enough for their smiles to mirror each other, ghosting one another’s skin.

Rory ran her palm along the back of Jess’ tie and wrapped her hand around it, to pull his mouth back to hers. He acquiesced easily and kissed her with fervor, as though he were relying on the breath she exhaled into him for his own survival. She tugged at his tie to loosen it and pushed him back to pull it over his head.

“Where’s the zipper for this thing?” Jess asked, running his hands eagerly over Rory’s back and feeling no zipper or eyehook clasps.

Rory reached behind her to grasp his hand and pin their bodies together. Her breath quickened when she felt his hardened length press up against her. She smiled seductively as she slid his palm slowly around the curve of her ribs and traced it delicately up her side so gently that she felt a shiver run through her. “Here,” she whispered, holding his warm hand under her right armpit, blushing as his wrist grazed the side of her breast.

Jess smirked as he slid the zipper down tantalizingly slowly. “I’m assuming you wouldn’t love me very much if I ripped this.”

“No. Good call. I do like this dress quite a lot.”

“I like it too,” he said, kissing his way across her neck and collarbone as the dress loosened. Jess wrapped his fingers around the delicate illusion neckline and slid the fabric carefully away from Rory’s skin as he shifted his weight to allow her to pull her arms back and out of the sleeves. The gown was so light and airy, it didn’t make a sound when it hit the floor –it fell with a soft _whoosh_ , and that was all.

Jess offered Rory his hands, to help her step out of the dress. He’d have to be blind not to notice her black satin corset bra with a low swoop back, but he chose not to pay it too much attention. “Do you want to hang it up?” he asked, eying the small mound of luxurious fabric at her feet.

Rory giggled and bit her lip, but said nothing.

“Going once, going twice…”

Rory nodded and kissed his nose, picking up the dress carefully and slinging it over her arm before running towards the bathroom.

“Jesus Christ. Fuck, Ror,” Jess cursed. “How did I not see –have you been wearing those all day?”

Rory followed his lustful gaze down to her shoes. Blush pink, open-toe stilettos that matched the underlay of her dress, adorned with a black strap and buckle that encircled her slim ankle. Underneath the black ankle strap where two more, which crisscrossed over the top of her foot and fastened to buckles on opposite sides. “Yeah,” she laughed, winking. “I guess this _is_ a good dress –if you didn’t notice my shoes till now.”

“I realize your feet are probably killing you,” he whispered when she came back. Rory was kissing his neck as she rid him of his shirt and undid his pants. “But can you –can you leave those on?”

“My, Dodger! Are you blushing?” she teased.

“Maybe. This is –you’re –this isn’t just sex and I’m –”

“It’s never just sex with us, Jess.”

“I know. But you’re different today, Rory. For the first time, since –you’re different,” he stammered. “I see light in those beautiful blue eyes that I’ve hardly seen since –I don’t want to ruin this by making a piggish request.”

“It’s not _that_ piggish,” Rory laughed, twisting Jess’ beard between her fingers. “They’re just shoes.”

Jess laughed softly and kissed Rory’s palm. He carefully and deftly undid the hooks of her corset while he captured her mouth against his. When it fell away, he wrapped one arm around her waist while using the other to tease her breast, gripping it surely and pinching her nipple. Rory’s knees buckled slightly at his touch as he worked her, as only he knew how to do.

Not one to be outdone, Rory slipped her arms around his waist and let her hands creep down his pants, raking her fingers along his skin and squeezing Jess’ beautiful ass. She laughed to herself as she suddenly remembered her thought from the first time she felt it.

“What’s so funny?” Jess breathed, never loosening his grip on her flesh.

“Beautiful contours,” she giggled, giving him another firm squeeze.

Jess smirked against her, reaching behind him to take a hold of her arms and guide them up around his neck. Sliding his hands back up her arms, he undid the bejeweled clip holding her hair away from her face and tossed it to the floor before returning his hands to his own body, gripping his pants and boxers, yanking them down and kicking them away, along with his shoes.

“Um, Jess? My shoes may be sexy, but I will not fuck you while you’re still wearing your socks,” Rory laughed, eying him before dropping to her knees. She peeled his socks away and threw them in the corner. Jess expected her to stand up again, but she stayed crouched in front of him. She closed her eyes and hugged his waist, laying her cheek on his stomach, her ear against his belly button.

Jess felt his breath catch in his chest at her silent intimacy. He’d missed this, this emotional intensity and connectedness –their hearts beating to the rhythm of the same drum that was just for them.

Rory started showering kisses across his chiseled abdomen. She looked up before taking his length in her hands. Jess tangled his fingers in her long brown hair and smiled. They spoke volumes to each other without saying a single word. Slowly, Rory worked him –first with her hands, then with her mouth. When she felt him shutter at the first contact of his flesh against her tongue, she grinned.

After only a few minutes, Jess was moaning softly and clenching his jaw. He felt himself stiffen slightly and pulled Rory up, kissing her mouth wildly and scooping her into his arms.

Laying her down on the bed gently, he kissed his way up her inner thighs before rubbing her intimate skin teasingly over her panties. When he felt them flood with warmth, he smiled and pulled them away slowly, with the utmost care. Jess kissed her tender flesh reverently, pulling it gently between his lips and sweeping his tongue across, and in and out of her.

Rory was nearly crying with pleasure she was so overwhelmed. Jess noticed that she’d balled her hands into tight fists –warding off imminent release, wanting it to last. He released his mouth from her skin and reached up to take both her hands and thread their fingers together as he settled his weight against her, aligning himself with her entrance.

As Jess pushed inside, he was immediately overcome. Enveloped by her warmth, it never ceased to amaze him, how perfectly they fit together. Even after five years –being inside her felt like coming home. Fitting so perfectly within her felt so good –so right- that he was flabbergasted at how he’d ever been able to do these things with anyone else. Making love with Rory was a transcendent experience –it was emotionally overwhelming and spiritually calming, even. She was right –sex between them was so much more than the physical act itself –it had been that way from the very first time.

Jess smiled and caught her lips just as she started to moan, so that her pleasure echoed in within him. His thrusts were slow and deep; Rory locked her heels around his back. The sounds of their soft moans of pleasure and their shallow, urgent and wanton breathing were all that filled the room –just like when they were first reunited after their scary ordeal, words weren’t really necessary.

Jess’ gaze remained fixed on Rory, perfectly content to ground each other by holding steadfastly to her hands as he continued to move within her. She started whimpering and moaning in time, letting out a soft sweet sound every time he would bury himself inside of her. Soon, her legs tightened around his waist and she started bucking her hips up with his movements.

Jess smiled at her and tugged her arm ever so softly, seeming to wordlessly ask if she wanted to be pulled into his lap.

She smiled. Rory was aware –as she was sure that Jess was too- that this was extremely reminiscent of their first time, not only in the physicality of the positions, but the emotional intensity of it all. She let Jess pull her towards him, sitting herself up and wrapping her legs around his hips without once breaking their physical connection. This change in position meant that Jess could move in her more deeply, hitting different sweet spots than he did when they were lying down.

Jess kissed her lips softly and whispered sweet nothings into her mouth as their breaths quickened together. “Fuck, Rory. You feel amazing around me. I’ll never stop loving you –the way you feel.” He ducked his head down to capture one of her perfect pink nipples in his mouth, biting it delicately with his teeth before flicking his tongue across her hardened skin. He smiled against her breast when her hand cupped the back of his head suddenly, pulling him closer and forcing him to repeat his ministrations harder.

“Jess,” Rory panted. “Yow feel perfect inside me. More, please,” she begged as they continued to rock together.

Jess released her skin to kiss her mouth passionately, before lowering his gaze to the other side of her chest and giving her other breast equal attention. All the while, Rory was dragging her nails against the skin of Jess’ back and burying her face in his neck, kissing and sucking the soft skin there to muffle her wonton sounds.

Slowly, they shifted and Jess found himself on his back. Rory held both of his hands, lacing their fingers together as she started riding him, his length sliding in and out of her. She would wait until he was almost fully withdrawn before sinking herself back down, taking him completely inside.

Their movements became more urgent, but the thrusts remained slow and deep –reestablishing the connection that had been lost for so long. Every time Jess disappeared within her, she cried out when he had nowhere deeper to go.

Jess knew something had been off in the few times they’d been intimate since Rory’s ordeal, but he couldn’t put his finger on it –nothing was forced, and the sex was good. But now, as they stared into each other’s eyes, covered in a thin sheen of salty sweat, the only sounds filling the room their erotic moans and grunts of pleasure as they tumbled towards climax –Jess knew that the emotional intensity of their love was finally being unearthed again.

 Rory leaned down to kiss Jess, capturing the crooked left side of his mouth between her own lips and pulling. He moaned desperately into her mouth and she stayed bent forward, letting Jess wrap his arms around her back and pin their bare chests together. Burying his face in her neck, he tried to muffle his groans of pleasure.

Soon, Jess started thrusting up whenever Rory started to withdraw from him, so that she was never able to. They became frenzied and Jess was planking cleanly off the bed to be fully engulfed in Rory –all the while, the only discernible sounds were still just those of Rory and Jess’ skin coming together in urgent claps and the incoherent murmurings of love and desire.

“Jess, please,” Rory panted eventually. “More –harder, oh God, I love you Jess. Please, I’m so close.”

“Ror, -Jesus, fuck. I’ve missed this. I’m almost there. You feel so –I love you, Rory I love you. Oh God,” Jess murmured, grabbing Rory’s hips; pulling her down on him forcefully, he held her captive as he buried himself as deeply inside her as his length would allow. “Fuck!” he screamed in ecstasy with his eyes screwed tightly shut.

He felt Rory start to tremble around him; with a few involuntary twitches and a cry of her own she came with him. “Oh God, Jess! Shit! Yes!” she exclaimed.

They both collapsed on top of each other, blissfully spent. Rory unbuckled her shoes and kicked them to the floor before Jess pulled the covers up around them and they settled in the comfortable queen-size bed.

“That was… wasn’t it? I feel like it was…” Rory said, looking up at Jess. “I mean I know I’m highly and emotional and not making any sense but –”

Jess kissed her forehead and cradled her cheek in his palm. “I know what you mean,” he whispered softly. “It was.”

“Do you think Lydia and Dan had as good of a wedding night as we just experienced?” Rory asked with a smile.

“I prefer not to think about that, thank you very much,” Jess said dryly. “But we sure had fun. We did exactly what couples are supposed to do on a wedding night.”

“But it’s not _our_ wedding night…”

“True,” Jess held Rory’s head against his chest as he spoke, so that she could hear his heartbeat and feel the unique vibration of his voice as it escaped his throat. “But –not to be corny or anything, but I think this was the start of something new for us. Putting the threats and strain and stress of the last month behind us. Weddings signify a new beginning, Rory –and we are definitely starting fresh now -not that there won’t be challenges and bumps in the road ahead. But today isn’t just about Daniel and Lydia and their new beginning –it’s about ours too. This day is about us too –and our new beginning.”

Rory reached up to stroke Jess’ cheek with the back of her hand. “I really love you,” she whispered, snuggling into his side, sighing in content at the warmth of his skin.

Jess wrapped his arm around her and held her closer to him, kissing the top of her head. “I love you too, Rory. With all my heart.”

“I’m a little scared,” she admitted.

“Why?”

“Because even though I’m sure I want to stay in journalism, I’m still majorly spooked. I don’t know when I’ll be ready to –or if it’ll ever be the same for me after this  –if I’ll be able to continue being a journalist in Philadelphia after…. I still want it, but… for one of the first times in my life, I don’t know what comes next –I don’t even really know what I _want_ to come next and that’s –scary.”

“It is,” Jess said softly. “But no matter what you decide, you know I’ll always support you –your mom, Luke, your grandparents, Lane, Lydia, Dan, the guys at Truncheon- we’ll _all_ support whatever you decide, and respect the process you need to go through to make that decision. If you decide you don’t want to work in Philly, we can move –”

“But Truncheon –”

“Will always be there and I will always have a place with them. But I too wouldn’t mind a change of pace, eventually,” Jess sighed and propped Rory’s chin up. “Just take one day at a time. Whatever you decide, I’m with you. So you don’t even know what you’d like to come next –stop worrying so much. Let yourself have the time and space you need in order to process things and just take it all one day at a time –it’s all you can do. And don’t beat yourself up for not having a meticulous plan. Not everything in life can _have_ a meticulous plan. You don’t know exactly what’s next –that’s okay.

“I know you Rory –you’re the love of my life and, as I’ve said before, I know you better than anyone. Believe me, it may take some time and things may be uncertain for a while –which I know you hate- but things _will_ work out, one way or another. Somehow, everything will be okay and everything will fall into place exactly the way it should. Once a kickass journalist, always a kickass journalist,” Jess smiled.

Rory felt tears well up in her eyes. “What did I ever do –how’d I ever get lucky enough to find you again, and make room for you in my life?”

“That’s supposed to be my question,” Jess whispered, kissing her cheek as they started drifting off to sleep.


	64. Chapter 64

Jess and Rory returned to Philadelphia on July third. Rory tightened her grip on Jess’ hand as they entered Hamilton Court for the first time since their entire debacle was put behind them. Jess felt his own heart start to race; he squeezed Rory’s hand reassuringly. “It’s okay,” he whispered.

With Daniel’s spare key in hand, they didn’t even stop at their own apartment; they went straight up to Lydia and Daniel’s home. Because they’d just come back from several weeks away, they had everything they needed; there was no need to go into their own apartment for anything. When they opened the door and set down their things, both Rory and Jess stood silently, staring at an apartment that they’d spent so much time in, but wasn’t theirs.

“What do we do?” Rory asked, before letting out a strangled, tense laugh. “I mean, this is weird –just, like, being here without them –living in their place while they’re not here.”

“Would it help if we pretended they had a cat –or a dog, so that we could be here under the guise of pet-sitting?” Jess asked with a smirk. “People stay at their friends’ places all the time to pet-sit.”

“Jess –they don’t even have any plants. We can’t even pretend we’re _housesitting_.”

“Just take a deep breath Ror. It’s not that weird. After what you went through –”

“We. After what _we_ went through.”

Jess wrapped his arms around Rory’s waist and looked right into her eyes. “After everything _we’ve_ been through, our friends did a selfless thing; they recognized something that neither of us would’ve readily admitted. Lydia and Dan want us to be comfortable, to feel okay and they knew we’d have a hard time doing that in our apartment, if we weren’t ready. We can go downstairs to our place if you want…”

Rory’s chin started to quiver and she shook her head, swallowing her tears. “No,” she whispered. “I can’t. Not yet.”

“Okay then. Chez Canadiana it is –at least for now. It’s okay, Rory. It’s okay that you’re not ready to be in our place yet.”

“I feel so stupid…”

Jess propped her chin up with his finger. “You are not. You are not stupid. You’re strong. You’re determined. And right now, you’re a little shaken. There’s no reason to feel stupid, okay?”

Rory nodded, unconvinced.

“Rory, I’m not ready to be back in our place yet either.”

“What?”

“As you so lovingly pointed out –you may have had it harder than me, but we both went through it, Ror. I’m still a little off-kilter too.”

“You never told me –I never knew. Why didn’t you say something?”

Jess sighed and spoke softly, tightening his hold on her waist. “It wasn’t really important. My main concern was you –it is you. If I absolutely couldn’t deal, I would’ve tried to talk to you about it. But I could internalize my own stuff, so I did. I ignored my own fear because I had to –to be your safety net. I wasn’t trying to keep anything from you, I just –I needed to shove my fears down, so that I could be steady for you –aside from that one huge fight we had, I –. One day, many years from now, you should ask Stan what I was like at his cottage that weekend –I wasn’t exactly the poster boy for sanity.”

“I’m so sorry,” Rory said shakily.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he whispered, catching her lips in a deep kiss.

* * *

A week later, with seven days left in her leave of absence from the _Inquirer_ , Rory was feeling the itch to get back to work –she just wasn’t sure if she wanted to go back to where she was before. Her time in Philadelphia had been wonderful so far and aside from this one, rather large bump in the road, her experience at _Philly dot com_ and the _Inquirer_ had been amazingly positive. Her hesitation had nothing to do with boredom, or a lack of fulfillment –she just had this nagging feeling in her gut that this whole thing signaled a shift of the tide; a need for a change.

Rory said nothing to Jess about her feelings yet –she needed to sort through them and figure out what they meant or what she thought they meant first.

Her phone rang out of the blue one day. “Hugo?” she said in surprise. “How _are_ you?”

“How are _you_ , Gilmore?” Hugo asked, thick with concern.

“Oh, so I guess you know about –”

“Of course I do, kid. I’d have to be living under a rock in a cave in Iceland not to know. I was going to call you earlier, but I figured you had a lot of shit to work through.”

“Yeah.”

“You okay?”

“Not quite yet, but I’m closer to okay than I have been in a very long time,” Rory assured him. “I’m going back to work next week.”

Hugo sensed the hesitation in her voice. “And how do you feel about that?”

“I have a therapist to ask me that; are you trying to usurp her?” she giggled.  
             
“No,” he chuckled. “I’m not asking the same question a therapist would ask. I’m asking as a fellow reporter –someone who understands that no matter how much you love your work, the first time this kinda thing happens, it’s scary as fuck and the idea of going back to work and sitting in the same office where it all hit the fan has got to feel a little weird.”

“It does. I think I’m ready for a change. Not because I’m scared of the _Inquirer_ or I all of the sudden don’t want to work there. I love what I do there, I just –I don’t know.”

“Sometimes, you just need a change. Makes sense to me. I can always hire you freelance to write for the site again. I’d be more than happy to have you back and you’d have enough work to stay afloat –more than enough, if you wanted.”

Rory smiled. “That’s an amazing offer. I just might take you up on it.”

“Just until you figure out what you want ‘change’ to look like, or if this is the change you need. Hey, how’s Jess? This whole thing must’ve shaken him too, huh?”

“He’s been great through everything. We’re both finding our way back to normal.”

“I’m so glad you two have each other,” Hugo said genuinely. “He’s a keeper, Gilmore. I hope I get to meet him one day.”

“I’m sure you will.”

“Well, I just wanted to check in. Keep me posted, okay? I might be in Philly before the summer’s through. We should get together.”

“Definitely! That’d be great!” Rory said. “And hey –if you have a gap that needs filling, I still have a week left in my leave and I’ll be returning to work gradually –assuming things don’t become magically less gray and I go back to the _Inquirer_ , it’ll take a few weeks to get back up to full steam. If you have a few pieces you want me to write, let me know what you’re looking for and I’ll pitch some ideas.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s about time I start making myself busy.”

“You got it, Gilmore. I’ll have one or two ideas to you by tomorrow. Take care kid,” Hugo said before hanging up.

* * *

Jess was thrilled to see Rory writing occasional pieces for Hugo. When he came home from Truncheon the day Hugo had called her, Rory was so excited that her smile stayed large and fixed as she recounted their entire conversation. He was still worried about how going back to the _Inquirer_ might cause her anxiety to resurface –but for now, he was happy to bask in Rory’s renewed fervor, one day at a time.

With Rory slowly getting back into the groove of working, the bubble of their lives was steadily becoming less precarious. Jess hadn’t spoken to Tina at Jasmine’s Fine Jewelry since the day he had a protective detail waiting for him outside, so when he walked in, Tina’s hand flew to her mouth and she ran to greet him.

“Oh my dear, you’re a sight for sore eyes!”

“Sorry it took me so long to make it back, things were a little –”

“Nonsense, there’s no need to be sorry. Are you alright?”

“Getting there, yeah.”

“How is Rory?”

“She’s okay too.”

“Oh, I am so glad. Can I –may I give you a hug?” Tina asked carefully.

Jess smirked and nodded. “Oh,” he said from over her shoulder after she’d wrapped her arms tentatively around him. “I have pictures to show you –of Lydia and Daniel’s wedding.”

“Yes, yes! Let me see!” she said excitedly. After going through the camera roll on Jess’ –brand new- phone, Tina smiled. “They are a very beautiful couple; they look impossibly happy.”

“They are.”

“I have something to show you, too.”

“You do?”

“Yes! You haven’t been in for nearly six weeks. As soon as I saw you last time, I told our jewelers to start work on Rory’s ring right away. You looked so dreadfully worried and heavy hearted that my own heart just broke for you. I wanted to make sure I did everything I could to bring the spring back to your step the next time I saw you.”

“Tina,” Jess said breathlessly. “Are you –you can’t possibly have it finished already.”

“It most certainly is. Wait here, darling.”

“But, I haven’t even paid yet!”  
             
“So? We’ll keep it until you do. But after everything you’ve been through, you deserve to see more than a drawing of what you’re paying for. Give me one moment.” Tina puttered around in a locked cupboard for several minutes before returning to stand in front of Jess, holding a closed wooden ring box, with the Jasmine’s logo embossed in gold on the top. She held it out for him and Jess offered her a trembling palm to drop the cube into. “Would you like to sit down at the counter and look at it under the light?” she asked.

Jess nodded wordlessly. He sat down and set the box on the glass countertop. Holding it steady with one hand, he pushed the top open gently. The drawing Tina had shown him didn’t do the ring justice. The emerald-cut, bezel-set sapphire baguettes were a richly magnificent royal blue that twinkled under the light and reminded him of impossibly blue waters one might only find in tropical paradise. The small, round, prong set diamonds offered the perfect balance for the rich blue sapphires, glistening and shining so brilliantly that looking right at them in the light almost made Jess squint. It was hard to believe that small diamonds could reflect so much light. The milgrain and hand-engraved floral patterns were exquisite, covering the top and bottom and continuing past the gemstones, stopping only about a quarter of an inch short of filling in the rest of the circumference, giving the entire ring a timeless, vintage, one-of-a-kind quality; it was just the right amount of detail to tie it all together perfectly, without distracting from the beauty of the gemstones.

“Jess, are you okay? You’re shaking,” Tina said quietly.

“What? Oh,” Jess said, looking down at his hands, which had started to tremble without him even noticing. “Yeah,” he swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yeah –I’m good. I –this is –it’s perfect. Truly, it is.”

“Is this what you imagined –?”

“It’s a thousand times better. It’s elegant, timeless, unique and beautifully understated. It belongs to Rory, Tina. I can’t believe you did it. Thank you –th –thank you so much.”

“I’m so pleased it’s everything you had hoped for,” Tina smiled.

“No –it’s more.”

* * *

Jess’ twenty-seventh birthday passed quietly. He came back from work around dinnertime to find that Rory had ordered in from their favourite Chinese restaurant; she’d also unearthed one of Daniel’s easier recipes for chocolate cake –and because she was staying in his apartment, she magically found all of the required ingredients.

“You baked?” Jess asked incredulously after blowing out the candles.

“I did,” Rory smiled.

“Huh. It _looks_ safe to eat _…_ ”

“I found the recipe, it’s Daniel’s –smartass.”

“And you’re sure you followed it? I’m not going to choke on a random eggshell, or human flesh?”

“What do you think this is, meat pie a-la _Titus Andronicus_? I called Sookie to make sure I was doing it right. She talked me through the whole thing and she _really_ wanted to spruce it up, but I refused to let her make it any more complicated. Are you done making crude jokes, or should I keep the knife? It may have flesh added to it yet,” Rory narrowed her eyes.

Jess stood up from the table and covered Rory’s hand with his. He slid the knife out of her grasp and set it down before cradling her face between his palms. “Thank you.”

“I love you, Jess. Happy birthday.”

* * *

A few days later, with some trepidation, Jess and Rory returned to their own apartment ahead of Lydia and Daniel returning from their honeymoon. Two uneasy nights passed before Jess was slowly wakened from a restless sleep by the sound of Rory quietly sobbing into her pillow.

“Rory?” Jess whispered, shifting his weight to sit up in bed and struggling to see her clearly in the dark. He soon realized it was probably a good thing he couldn’t make her out very well. “Hey, shhh. Come here. It’s okay. It’s okay,” he wrapped an arm around her quaking shoulders and pulled her head against his chest.

“I’m –I’m sorry,” Rory cried. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Jess let out a bemused chuckle. “That’s okay –it was a crappy dream. I’d much rather let you cry in my arms, seeing as you clearly needed to have a good cry. Happy to be woken.”

His comment –meant to be comforting- only made Rory sob louder.

“Hey, hey. What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“In all my years of knowing you and loving you, I’ve never once witnessed you cry for nothing. Talk to me.”

“I can’t.”

“You can’t talk to me?”

“I can’t be here. I thought it would be okay, I really did. I wanted it to be –this is our home, Jess! But those people! They –I can’t –I can’t be here without them being in my head. This won’t happen every time –I’ll get better –I’ll be stronger next time, but right now I’m not. I can’t be –I can’t be here. I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I –I can’t!”

Jess could feel his heart breaking for her; his chest felt like it was being crushed as she promised to be stronger next time. He didn’t want there to be a ‘next time’, but he knew there probably would be –though he prayed it wouldn’t look like this. “It’s okay, Rory. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.”

“What? How?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just trust me. If I hold you, do you think you can sleep until morning? Or do you want to go back to Lydia and Dan’s?”

“I’m so tired, Jess,” Rory whispered against him.

“I’m right here. Come on. Close your eyes. Try to sleep. I love you. Go to sleep, sweet girl.”

Rory woke early the next morning, eager to get out of the apartment. Jess knew she was supposed to be having lunch with Hugo and he was supposed to go with her. Disappearing into the bathroom to get ready, he texted Daniel so that he and Lydia wouldn’t worry when they got back from their honeymoon. He reappeared a few minutes later and lied, saying that Andrew had texted him about an emergency situation with the printing company they used; asking her to send his sincerest apologies to Hugo, he embraced her lovingly before they went separate directions out the door of Hamilton Court.

Jess burst into Truncheon just after eight. He ran upstairs and first checked Chris’ former apartment –empty for nearly a year, since he’d moved in with Maria. Nodding to himself, he went to his own apartment, which the guys left mostly untouched and still had quite a few of his belongings inside. But for using the two empty residences for storage, the spaces remained largely unchanged.

“Jess?” Matt said in surprise as he came out of his room. “What are you doing here so early?”

“Are the rest of the guys here yet?” Jess asked impatiently.

“No, but it’s barely past eight. Why are you out of breath? Where’s the fire?”

“We need to call them.”

“I promise, I’m not _that_ lonely here, all by myself,” Matt joked.

“Shut it, dude. We need to call them. I need all of you to help me. Cancel whatever we’ve got today.”

“What? Why? Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine. Nothing’s wrong –in the strictest sense, anyway. But I _need_ the four of you on this. So what would you rather do –call them, or cancel what we’ve got today?”

“You’re the man with the vague plan. I can get the guys here if you have an excuse lined up for canceling a day’s worth of business.

“You know I do,” Jess winked.

“Fine. I’ll assemble the cavalry; you get to cancelling. Jess, you’d better tell us what’s going on,” Matt warned him in a trusting but wary way.

“I will, but I only want to explain it once. Once everyone’s here, I’ll tell you everything –I promise.”

* * *

Jess texted Rory before he and his friends set out to the day’s daunting task. _I feel bad having to cancel lunch with Hugo. How late do you think you’ll be with him?_

Rory answered almost right away. _A few hours at least. We have a lot to catch up on._

_Text me when you’re winding down. I’ll run over and introduce myself and then we can go home together._

_Sounds good! …Thank you for last night. I love you, Dodger._

_I love you too, Ror. I’ll see you a bit later._

“Okay guys,” Jess said. “We have until about three to get the major heavy lifting done. Once I leave, the rest of you are on a clock. You’ll have forty-five minutes, maybe an hour to get the rest of it squared away.”

“I’m here, I’m here!” Stan said, bursting in with a flourish. “Did I miss the strategizing? Where do you want me? I have a bad back, so I can’t do any _actual_ heavy lifting…”

Jess laughed. “That’s okay. We can all get the majorly heavy stuff. You brought your car, right?”

“Yup.”

“Ah, you’re gold, Fam. I was just telling the guys, we have until three-ish to get most of this done. Once I leave to introduce myself to Hugo, you’ll be on a major clock. Do you remember how to get to mine and Rory’s apartment?”

Stan nodded.

“Great, perfect,” Jess paused, realizing all of the sudden what good friends he had –that they would drop everything and help him, not only because they cared about him, but they loved Rory too. “Thank you guys –really –all of you. This is huge. I really appreciate everything you’ve done and been willing to do, to help me and Rory.”

“What are friends for, man?” Joe asked with a smile.

“We’re always here for you, Jess –no matter what. You know that,” Andrew and Chris added sincerely.

“This is a very touching _Rudy_ moment we’re reenacting here –and forgive my lack of sentimentality as I say in my most deadpan tone –because you know it’s true- Jess, we all love you, we’re all here for you and Rory no matter what. You never have to be benched, or totally alone, because _you have us_ ; aw, isn’t that sweet,” Stan said with a sarcastic sigh. “Come on guys, don’t turn into smarmy love-sick pups, we have a game to win –a big mission to accomplish in a frighteningly short amount of time. Moving them both outta there and in here in eight or nine hours will be no small feat, even between the six of us. So hug out your kumbaya-yas if you must and let’s get this damn show on the road!”

“Jeez Jess –no wonder you love Stan so much, you’re fucking perfect for each other,” Matt cackled. “Okay boys –you heard Mr. Fruitloopkins here –let’s get this thing done!”

“I will kill you for that later, Afro Boy,” Stan said evenly.

“Seriously, watch your step today. He’s _not_ kidding,” Jess told him. “Okay guys –please try to kill each other. If anything should happen to you I will get very chocked up –honestly, there could be tears.”

“You’re quoting _Serenity_ in your rousing, instill-team-spirit speech? Really?” Joe laughed.

“Hey, I can’t help it if Whedon’s words can be perfectly applied to my favourite band of misfit toys and my sincere hope that none of you kill each other today. We have a ton to do, so let’s get going!” Jess winked before they all filed out the door to head to Hamilton Court.

* * *

“Hugo’s amazing,” Jess said as he and Rory set out in the direction of home. “I’m glad I finally got to meet him.”

“Me too,” Rory smiled. “I think we remind him of himself when he was a little younger –like, his relationship didn’t work out but he’s rooting for us not to suffer the same fate. He really likes you.”

“Are you happy to be writing pieces for him again?”

“I really am. He has me doing light stuff for now, with everything –”

Jess wrapped an arm around Rory’s shoulders as they walked. She let her head fall into the crook of his elbow and he placed a soft kiss atop her hair.

“So, I’m going back to work soon…” she said softly.

“You are. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I think so. But I don’t know –being back in the same physical place where all that stuff happened –I don’t know how I’ll handle it.”

“One day at a time,” Jess told her. “There’s no shame in taking it slow. There’s also no shame in deciding that you need a change. Don’t borrow trouble. Just wait and see –whatever happens, happens. It’ll work out.”

“Did you know Hugo used to work at the _New York Times_?” Rory asked.

“No kidding! That’s kinda badass.”

“Yeah, he says they’re transitioning to a new executive editor right now; Bill Keller’s stepping down and they’re promoting Jill Abramson in September –she’ll be the first female executive editor in _Times_ history…”

 “I love that you can just rhyme off facts and that you know everyone by first and last name without even blinking,” Jess laughed.

“Jess –Hugo said there might be openings once the changeover happens,” she said, trying not to sound hopeful. “It’s a long shot –I mean, really long. But my bin Laden story got me noticed –and I was on _Anderson Cooper_ ; Hugo thinks I have a shot –he thinks I’m already on their radar, that I might not even need to apply –traditionally speaking. He says they must know that I’m a contributor for him, a former _Times_ reporter –he says he wouldn’t be at all surprised if they called him about me.”

Jess stopped walking and turned to face Rory. “That’s unbelievable! Ror, this is everything you’ve always wanted!”

“Yeah,” Rory sighed.

“I don’t get it –why are you so glum? I’m jumping out of my skin here, and you’re not. What’s the matter?”

“Jess, last time I applied to the _Times_ , they rejected me.”

“Rory. That was an internship, not a full-time job. You hadn’t even graduated from Yale yet. Look at everything you’ve accomplished since then –look at the laudable reporter you’ve become. Who you were when you applied then and who they might be considering now are two different reporters. They can’t turn a blind eye to the career you’ve built over the last four years –all the things you’ve accomplished after _only_ four years. Give yourself a little credit. You never know –your dream could fall right into your lap pretty soon,” Jess smiled, kissing her gently. “If it happens, when would you hear?”

Rory smiled softly, letting her hands linger on Jess’ face. She shrugged. “I don’t really know. Probably in September-October, after Abramson takes up the position and starts making whatever changes she has in mind.”

“This is good, Rory.”

“You’d move to New York?”

“Have you forgotten that New York is where I cut my teeth? I grew up there. It’s always home.”

“What about Truncheon?”

“I’d still remain a partner and an integral part of the business. I’d never leave it completely behind. Moving might even help the business –maybe we could expand!”

“You’re really excited about this, aren’t you?”

“I really am.”

As they continued walking, Rory realized they’d bypassed the route to Hamilton Court entirely. Instead, they were standing in front of Truncheon. “Jess –I thought we were going home. What are we doing here?”

“Come on,” Jess smiled.

Rory walked into Truncheon with Jess and found the guys working as usual. They smiled and greeted the two of them warmly, without leaving their spots. She still had no idea why they’d come here. “Okay, now I’m the one who doesn’t get it…”

Jess squeezed her hand reassuringly and led her upstairs, stopping in front of the apartment where Chris used to live. He opened the door and led Rory inside.

Rory looked around in disbelief. Inside, she saw her workstation and all of their books, perfectly organized and set up –as if they’d been there all along. The closet door was open and she saw all of her work clothes neatly hung. The couch from their living room was there too. “Jess –what did you –how –what is this?”

Jess said nothing. He let Rory take in the sight before leading her slowly down the hall to his own apartment. He opened the door and Rory saw the blue blanket draped over the bed and all of the pictures that were in their bedroom at Hamilton Court. Half the drawers of Jess’ small dresser were pulled open; revealing the clothes Rory wore at home every day. In the kitchenette were her favourite coffeemaker and her lucky mug. On the bedside table was the stack of half a dozen books Rory was currently reading. “What did you do?” she asked quietly, tears brimming in her eyes.

“I promise, the guys didn’t touch any of your unmentionables. Stan organized the books, so if they’re put away wrong, take it up with him. You might want to make sure our Bronte collection is all still there –lest he threw it all into bonfire while I was with you and Hugo,” Jess said.

“Jess –what is this?”

“I thought it was obvious…” Jess wiped away her tears. “The books,” he said slowly, staring into her eyes, “the books were unhappy. They felt unsafe. They couldn’t be there anymore. And I can’t live with the books being unhappy or feeling unsafe. So, me and the boys and Stan –we moved them. I lied about the work emergency that kept me from lunch with Hugo –I’m sorry. There was no _work_ emergency, but there was an emergency. I had to get the books out of there. I had to bring them here, where they could feel at home. Where they could feel safe. Okay?”

“You –you did all this for –” Rory stammered, still crying.

“I was using ‘the books’ as a euphemism for you,” Jess smirked. “We can worry about the details later. I don’t want you being preoccupied with how we’ll manage or how we can wrangle out of our lease. We won’t be here forever either. But, well –you told me you couldn’t stay there and I said I would fix it. So –welcome home, Rory.”

Rory was speechless. She pressed her forehead to Jess’ and continued to sob –so forcefully that she started to tremble.

“Aw, it won’t be that bad, I promise. Chris moved in with Maria so Matt’s the only other one living here. He promised he wouldn’t be at all piggish and all the guys are totally fine with you being here. I made them swear on their lives not to be _too_ juvenile or stupid…”

Rory smiled through her tears and captured Jess’ lips in a fierce and consuming kiss.   Jess was caught off-guard for a split second, but matched her eagerness easily and wrapped his arms around her waist to lift her up as she remained pressed against him.

“Thank you,” she whispered when they finally pulled apart.

Jess kissed her nose and set her back down on her feet gently. “Let’s check on our Brontes and head downstairs. The guys worked really hard to betray nothing when we walked in just now. They’re probably bursting at the seams to hug you and welcome you home too –they’re actually ridiculously happy to have you here –and me back, for a while anyway. You know, if I was a more insecure person, I might be worried that one or all of them were planning to steal you from me.”

“I love you. I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Stop, before you start crying again. You’ve filled your quota for tears for a good long while. No more tears, my girl.”

 


	65. Chapter 65

Rory got the call at the end of September. She would start at the _New York Times_ as a staff writer for national news, covering everything from politics to religion, from gun violence to economics and everything in between –while of course reporting the daily news of New York City. Her dream job was to start on November eighth, 2011. With no uncertainty and uncanny clarity, Jess and Rory immediately gave their sixty days’ notice to the apartment management at Hamilton Court.

Lorelai was ecstatic –of course- because New York was much closer to Stars Hollow than Philadelphia. Luke was pleased too –everyone knew that Rory was getting to the point where she could use a change. She had gone back to work at the _Inquirer_ after her leave and found her groove again relatively easily, but going back was the confirmation she needed that it was time for something new. Philadelphia had been good to her, and the three years she spent working there allowed her to grow as a reporter and understand what she was capable of. She wasn’t necessarily _looking_ for a reason to leave, but she knew if the right opportunity presented itself, she’d have no problem taking advantage of it.

Jess was ecstatic for Rory too, and he really was excited to move back to New York; it would be good to get back to the place he always considered home with his feet properly underneath him and a mature head on his shoulders. However, he wasn’t made of stone –he had a sense of sadness about leaving Truncheon, the place that allowed him to build a whole new life.

His friends were feeling a sense of bittersweetness too –their little misanthropic punk that could was all grown up. But just because he was forging exciting new paths didn’t mean they weren’t still looking out for him; unbeknownst to Jess, the guys had a plan –one which would not only allow him to stay fully involved in Truncheon, but also provide him a perfect opportunity for growth in the city that never sleeps.

Over the years, Truncheon reached out beyond Philadelphia and Pennsylvania in order to find unique talent; they’d forged relationships with several small independent presses on the east coast with similar vibes. Jess came home from running errands one day about a week and a half after telling the guys about New York, to find an unexpected message on his answering machine from Greater Fool Publishing –named after the economic theory which posits that there is always someone with the perfect mix of delusion and ego that makes them believe that they can succeed where others fail.

“Hey Jess, it’s Jackie from Greater Fool in New York. I hear through the grapevine that you and your ladylove are moving here later in the fall! I’m calling because we happen to have an opening and our list of candidates stops at you. We need an editor, but more than that, we want you to head up an outreach program geared towards people with writing talent that don’t have the traditional education to get them noticed anywhere else –essentially, we want you to find all the other versions of you that you possibly can. Also, we want you to run a regular writing workshop to nurture that unconventional talent. Call me when you get the message and we can talk about it more; I hope you’ll join us. I know Tim would love it if you balanced out the testosterone around here. He’s no match for two against one; between Cristina and I he hasn’t won an argument in months. Alright, talk to you soon, bye.”

“Um, guys?” Jess said as he came down the stairs. “I just listened to one hell of an interesting message from Jackie at Greater Fool. She essentially hired me over voicemail. It’s interesting, because me leaving is barely week-old news –I’m assuming you were the ‘grapevine’ she was referring to.”

Matt laughed. “Yeah… after you told us, we may have called them. They’ve wanted to either clone you or steal you from us for years.”

“That was quicker than we expected her to reach out to you though. What’d she say?” Joe asked.

“They need an editor and they want me to start up an outreach program and writing workshops catered to finding and cultivating ‘unconventional’ talent. They basically want me to find other versions of myself –the people who are kickass writers but don’t have the education or background to be given a shot anywhere else. I think that’s the gist anyway. I haven’t called her back yet,” Jess explained.

“Wow –so you’d be doing the same thing you do with us and then some, huh? That’s exciting!” Andrew said.

“There’s one other thing,” Chris said.  
             
“What?” Jess asked slowly.

“We’re gifting you the ‘zine.”

“You’re –what?”

“The ‘zine –our ‘zine –it’s your baby now. We can send you all the content remotely and you can okay it, add your own contributions and oversee everything you normally do, but you’d also put it together and finalize the layout. You’d send the finished versions back to us and all we’d do is print it. What do you say? Your very own piece of the Truncheon pie; that way, you’re still actively involved –unless you _want_ to become one of those ‘in name only’ stakeholders…”

“Okay, you guys realize I’m not actually leaving for like, another six weeks right?”

“Six weeks go by fast,” Andrew told him.

“Yeah, but –”

“We just wanted to make sure you were taken care of,” Joe smiled. “Greater Fool is offering you a perfect stepping-stone. If you join them, you would be one of four rather than one of five. They’re willing to basically let you run your own initiatives within the house, right? And it’s right up your alley. There’s no one better to do what they’re asking for than you. We told Jackie and Tim and Cristina that we want you to run the ‘zine and they’re cool with that, they’ll give you the time you need to be our Executive Editor.”

Jess laughed quietly at his new professional title. “You guys are too much,” he smiled.

“So, is that a yes?” Matt asked. “Will you allow yourself to be stolen by Greater Fool _and_ still work for us?”  
             
“I’m a Truncheon guy first, a Greater Fool guy second,” Jess whispered.

“Damn right you are,” Chris laughed.

* * *

“Are you excited about New York yet?” Lane asked eagerly.

“Yeah, I am,” Rory smiled. “I still can’t quite believe it’s happening.”

“You know what this means…”

“What?”

“You only have a matter of weeks to track down M. Night Shayamalan before you leave Philadelphia.”

Rory laughed so hard that the phone almost slipped out from between her shoulder and her ear. “I forgot about that conversation of ours.”  
             
“I haven’t! I’m saddled with two four-year-olds. My life is only rock and roll in very short bursts that are few and far between. My teen spirit is relying on you, Rory!” Lane pleaded.

“Hm, well, I’ll do my best but I can’t make any promises.”

“Fine,” Lane whined. “New York is _so_ rock and roll. I miss drumming…”

“Get everyone back together then! Dust Hep Alien off the shelf!”

“We’ve been talking about it, but it’s so hard now, you know? Being a grownup sucks.”

“Sometimes, yes.”

“But don’t you worry. Hep Alien will live to rock another day,” Lane promised.

“I have no doubt. Okay, well, I have to go, sadly. I have a ton of work to do and it refuses to do itself,” Rory sighed.

“Okay, go. And track down Shayamalan!”

“I’ll try. Bye Lane.”

Jess walked in just as Rory was hanging up with Lane. “Who was yelling at you?”

“Lane. I have to stalk M. Night Shaymalan before we leave.”

“Um. Why?”

“When we were sixteen she said that if she could live anywhere in the world she’d live in Philadelphia, because M. Night Shaymalan’s here. She’s incensed that we’ve been here for three years and now we’re moving and I haven’t tracked him down. So she wants me to stalk him and find him before we leave,” Rory explained.

“Okay then. What are you supposed to do if you find him?” Jess asked.

“Tell her I found him. Try and be his friend, probably. Tell him he has a devoted fan in a little sleepy town called Stars Hollow.”

“I need to stop asking these questions thinking the answers are going to be anything approximating normal…”

“Yes, I’m surprised you haven’t learned that by now,” Rory giggled, getting up from the couch and wrapping her arms around Jess’ neck. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“You’re done downstairs already? It’s only four.”

Jess shrugged. “Light day. How goes the apartment hunt?”

Rory’s body went limp in his arms.

“Question answered. How about we open some wine, order an early dinner and look at some of the contenders together.”

“Yes please!” Rory smiled. “Desert too?”

“Desert too.”

“Mmm I love you. You do realize we need to order a ton, right? With it being so early –”

“You’ll want a second dinner in about four hours. I know,” Jess smirked. “So, I wanna talk to you about something,” he said, sitting down on the couch with Rory and holding her hand firmly.

“What is it? Is everything okay?” she asked.

He tucked a stray stand of hair behind her ear and smiled. “Everything’s fine. The guys, they –well, I guess they made a call and –do you remember me telling you about Greater Fool Publishing in New York?”

“Sure. Yeah. You all do joint events sometimes. They’ve had contributing pieces in the ‘zine, haven’t they? You have a pretty good relationship with them, right?”

“Yeah we do.”

“What’s the news at Greater Fool then?”

“They’re hiring –they’re hiring me.”

“What? Jess! How did that happen?” Rory asked excitedly.

“The Truncheon brotherhood made a call. Greater Fool has an opening and they want me to fill it.”

“What’s the job?”

“A lot of the same stuff I do here, but more of it. Greater Fool is run by four people, not five. They’re interested in me spearheading an outreach program and a series of writing workshops –to find, cultivate and encourage people with natural talents who don’t necessarily have the conventional background to back it up –basically, they want me to find people like me, who have the talent to make it but wouldn’t be given a chance by bigger companies.”

“Oh my God! That’s amazing!”

Jess took a deep breath. “There’s more. The guys have put me in charge of Truncheon’s ‘zine. I’ll have final say over layout and content and I can do it all remotely from New York; they’ll send me the content they work on here, I’ll add my own stuff, put the whole thing together and send it back to Matt or Chris so they can print it. They’re giving me my own piece of Truncheon to take with me. I’m going to remain one hundred percent actively involved in the work here –even from New York. Greater Fool is going to give me the time I need to get the Truncheon ‘zine done every month…”

“Jess –that’s unbelievable!” Rory smiled, hugging him tightly. “I’m so happy for you!”

“Yeah, it’s pretty much everything I could ask for –plus a few things I’d never dream of.”

“I’m going to go get that wine,” she said quietly, squeezing his hand. “Menus?”

“On it,” Jess nodded. When Rory moved to get up, he held her tight. She looked back, perplexed; Jess caught her lips in a gentle, slow kiss –taking his time to release her.

“I’ll be right back.”

By the time she re-entered the room, Jess’ eyes had bugged out at something on the computer screen and he was frantically reaching for his cellphone.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Look,” he said, pointing to the screen as he held his phone to his ear. “It’s perfect.”

Rory felt her breath catch. She bit her lip, trying not to get too excited. She was looking at a floor plan for a nearly six hundred square foot one-bedroom apartment on the upper east side of Manhattan; it was a twenty-minute drive or transit ride from The New York Times Building on the west side of midtown and roughly the same distance from NYU and Washington Square Park, which she remembered Jess having told her ages ago was the neighbourhood of Greater Fool Publishing. Miraculously, the apartment was listed for twenty-five hundred a month –a steal for the neighbourhood and the size of the unit; it was also a price that, between the two of them would be manageable.

“Yes, thank you. Great, see you then,” Jess said. He hung up the phone and looked at Rory. “We have an appointment to see the place in two days. It’s empty now; if we like it and we commit and our application checks out –there’s a very good chance that this’ll be home, Rory.”

Rory laughed joyously; Jess kissed her deeply and poured them both a glass of wine. They toasted to their new beginning and worked up an even bigger appetite before ordering dinner.

* * *

Luke, Lorelai and William came to Philadelphia for Rory’s birthday weekend. They were thrilled when Jess told them about his new job at Greater Fool.

Jess and Rory got the apartment on the Upper East Side –so there was that to celebrate, too.

Jess was itching to talk to Lorelai and Luke about the engagement ring that he’d almost finished paying for, that he’d have in his possession by the time they left Philadelphia –but the right moment proved elusive and never presented itself. He didn’t let it bother him too much. With all the big changes happening in their lives, he planned to hold off on proposing until they were settled –there’d be time enough for a conversation. He still wasn’t sure how to broach the topic with Christopher –whom he’d met via Skype after he and Rory had settled in at Truncheon, but not yet in person. _Just cross that bridge when you come to it_ , he thought to himself. _Luke and Lorelai are the important conversation –and her grandparents._ Jess didn’t know exactly when those conversations would happen either; but it was a nice feeling, having a clear mental list of priorities.

These were the things occupying his mind as he entered the jewelry store about a week after Rory’s birthday. Jess was swamped with packing and tying up loose ends at Truncheon, distributing his current duties amongst his friends and preparing to take on the ‘zine by himself. He was so lost in thought that he almost walked right past the door.

“Jess! It’s lovely to see you,” Tina said when he came in.

“Hi Tina,” Jess answered, fidgeting nervously and giving her a smirk.

“Why are you so restless dear?”

“Well, I –Rory and I are moving to New York in a few weeks, she got a job at the _New York Times_ –”

“Oh my! That is wonderful! And what about you?”

“I’m going to be working at another independent publishing house –similar to Truncheon, but a bit smaller than us, even –more responsibility. And I’m taking over Truncheon’s –newsletter –doing it all remotely so that I can stay a part of the team here.”

“My goodness Jess, such great news. I’m very happy for you. Proud, too.”

“Thank you.”

“So, I suppose that means –”

“Yeah. New York isn’t why I’m fidgety,” he chuckled.

“Today’s the day you leave here with that beautiful ring. Do you know when you’re going to give it to her?” Tina asked.

“Not yet, no. Probably not for a few months.”

“I’ll miss you, Jess.”

“Hey, your sister runs the store in New York, right?”

“Yes, Carol! Why do you ask?”

“Wedding rings,” Jess winked. “Gotta stay loyal.”

“Bless you, dear,” Tina smiled as she rang up the transaction. “Rory will love it, I’m sure,” she said softly as she slid the tiny box across the glass countertop. “You’ll be very happy together. You already are.”

“Thank you for everything, really.”

“It has been my pleasure. May I give you my email? I really would like to know how everything turns out, when you do propose. I’d rather hear it straight from you than from my sister however many months later.”

 “Of course.”

Jess hugged Tina goodbye and walked home with his hand in his pocket –a vise grip around the ring box. He traced the golden-embossed _J_ over and over, like a nervous tick. He couldn’t believe he had Rory’s engagement ring –finally.

“Hey, Matt,” he said when he arrived back at the brownstone, “you know those key locks we have for keeping manuscripts and money safe? Do you have an extra one lying around that I can steal?”

“I think so,” Matt said, scouring through the drawers of his desk.

“Why do you need to steal a lock?” Chris asked.

Jess looked around. “Do you know if Rory’s here?”

“She called to say she was stopping on her way home from work to get more bankers boxes for all your books,” he answered.

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Are the others here?”

“Yeah, but they’re upstairs.”

“Get them.”

“You’re freaking me out again Jess,” Matt said, holding the lock and keys hostage. “Why do you need a lock?”

“Chris, get the guys,” Jess told him, heading to the front door to make sure it was locked.

Andrew, Chris and Joe gathered around Matt’s desk and looked at Jess expectantly.

“You wanna know why I need a lock?” he asked with a smirk. Pulling his hand out of his pocket, he set the ring box on Matt’s desk and opened it. “This is why.”

Chris laughed quietly. “Care Bear,” he said triumphantly.

“Aww, son of a bitch,” Joe cackled, shaking Jess’ shoulders. “That’s gorgeous. Way to take the plunge dude.”

“Congrats, man,” Andrew smiled.

“I haven’t asked her anything yet,” Jess said quietly. “I probably won’t ask her for a few months, until we’re settled in New York –but I need to keep it safe and hidden until then.”

Matt reached out to shake Jess’ hand and drop the tiny lock and its keys into his palm. “It’s about fucking time,” he laughed.

Jess sprinted upstairs a few minutes later and put the ring box in the messenger bag Rory had gotten him for Christmas four years earlier; he secured the lock through the two zippers enclosing the pocket and bound them together before sticking the keys in his wallet. He pulled the flap over the bag and snapped it shut just as he heard Rory returning with the boxes.

“Hey,” she smiled as she kicked the door open.

Jess hurried over to grab a few boxes from her and gave her a quick peck on the lips. “Let me help.”

“Oh, thanks. Even flattened, those things are really cumbersome.” Rory collapsed onto the couch and kicked off her high heels. “Remind me never to get packing gear straight from work ever again.”

“Duly noted. Are things wrapping up at the _Inquirer_ okay?”

“Yeah. What did you get up to today?”

“Nothing special.”

* * *

“You ready for the Big Apple, kid?” Stan asked over a pint only two days before Jess and Rory were due to leave.

“Just about. It’ll be nice –no matter where else I’ve ended up, New York’s always been home. I am pretty sad to be leaving Truncheon though.”

“Don’t be. You’re going to a better job, anyway –a more senior position. Besides, your friends at Truncheon gave you that –the ‘zine thingy, right?”

“Yeah, they gave me ‘that ‘zine thingy,’” Jess chuckled.

“See? This isn’t _Steel Magnolias_. You’re not gonna die, Shelby –you don’t have to leave your baby behind to grow up without you. You get to be around to watch him grow into a wiseass teenager and outlive you.”

“Thanks for the pep-talk, M’Lynn.”

“It’s what you don’t pay me for, after all.”

“Have you ever been to New York?” Jess asked.

“Yeah. I haven’t been there for about ten years though. All that’s gonna change, soon enough,” Stan said vaguely.

“Stan, you can’t hide out from whomever you’ve pissed off until Rory and I are settled…”

“Who do you think I am, O.J.? Take that back, you wanker.”

“ _Wanker_? Seriously?”

“Just be thankful I didn’t call you a burke.”

“Christ, you really did take to British cussing during your little stint in England, didn’t you?”

“Like a duck to water. Besides, the English cuss so much more eloquently than Americans. Americans are so thickheaded, most of them have no idea when some mild mannered –or even an ornery- Brit has handed them their ass.”

“Touché,” Jess chuckled, clinking Stan’s glass. “Now, are you gonna tell me what the fuck you’re talking about, or are you content to be vague? Before you answer, let me tell you that if you think not knowing will drive me insane, you severely overestimate my interest in the trivialities of your life.”

“Touché,” Stan echoed with a smile. “Okay, so, I would have told you this earlier, but your life has kinda been all sorts of crazy. As it happens, moving to New York will not rid you of me. Much to your chagrin, I’m sure. You’re stuck with me forever,” he laughed lowly, more menacing with every chuckle.

“What are you talking about? You’re –you’re moving? To _New York_? Since when?”

“I signed the dotted line at the end of May. I was going to tell you, but you had –other stuff and I –it wasn’t the time.”

Jess winced –instantly flashing back to the terror and chaos that ruled his life in May and June. He shook it off and a look of confusion settled on his face. “You signed the dotted line for what, exactly? I still don’t understand.”

“I watched my last Temple student graduate when you walked across the stage. I start at NYU in January –tenure track. They’ve promised me a secure promotion to full-time permanent faculty by September 2012. After five years at Temple as a contract professor with no guarantee of permanency after all that time –enough is enough. NYU has been wooing me for years. I finally gave in.”

“Good cover story you got there, my friend,” Jess smirked.

“Excuse me?”

“The real reason you’re leaving Temple is because after five years you finally met me –you met your match. I sparred with you and you loved it. Rory handed you an ass whooping over your loathing of the Brontes –and I bet it was one of only a few times someone rendered _you_ speechless. I went toe-to-toe with you all year; you infuriated me and I infuriated you –and you loved every minute of it. You have no choice but to come to New York, Fam. How in the world would you survive with the Jess-shaped hole in your life? You’d waste away; you’d wither and die. You can’t live without me. The bromance between us is strong, so strong that it will not be denied –even by you, an even bigger curmudgeon than me. Face it Famy, I complete you,” Jess explained in a dry, sarcastic tone.

Without warning, Stan slapped the back of Jess’ head so hard that he spat out his mouthful of beer. “Call me Famy again and I’ll have you killed –but I digress. You ‘complete’ me? There’s some homoerotic subtext in there that I could make a litany of wisecracking remarks about, but I’ll refrain… my you have a very high opinion of yourself, don’t you?”

Jess smirked. “Actually, I don’t, as –oh I don’t know… _my entire life_ can attest. I may have many severe problems –both personally and with most of the human race in general- but believe me, having a _high opinion of myself_ has never been one of them. And you know that better than anyone. You’re just pissed off because I’m right.”

“I’m really not supposed to like you so much –my entire reputation as a hard ass misanthrope is in jeopardy because I took a liking to the wise guy with a droopy mouth,” Stan said with narrowed eyes.

“Your secret’s safe with me.”

“It doesn’t help that I genuinely like that Rory of yours –she’s so annoyingly nice and interesting. That woman can hold her own.”

“I know. Why do you think I love her so much?” Jess smiled.

“I actually hate that I like her so much,” Stan said sarcastically.

“Your secret will be safe with her too –and the fact that she rendered you speechless over your distain for the Brontes.”

“It better be.”

“Seriously though –that’s amazing. I’m super happy for you; you deserve it. Rory and I actually got an apartment on the Upper East Side, about twenty minutes from the _Times_ building and NYU and Washington Square Park –which is coincidentally the neighbourhood that Greater Fool Publishing calls home. Cheers, to your new professorship,” Jess raised his glass.

Stan rolled his eyes and lifted his glass lifelessly to tap to Jess’. “I didn’t realize we’d be _that_ close to each other. Shoot me.”

“Here, I want to show you something.” Jess reached into his pocket and pulled out the keys to the lock hidden under the flap on his messenger bag.

“Christ, Mariano –what’ve you got in there, the Holy Grail?”

Jess laughed quietly and finished undoing the lock, slipping it out of the holes of the zippers. He put the ring box in front of Stan and opened it for him. “Something like that.”

Stan smiled at what he saw. After laughing quietly for a few seconds he made eye contact with Jess and gave a tiny nod. “Well done,” he whispered, shaking his shoulders playfully. Then his smile disappeared and he spoke to Jess in a deadpan tone. “You’re really not my type though.”

“Har har.”

“When’s this happening?”

“Not for a few months, I think. We already have so many changes ahead; I don’t want this getting lost in all the other stuff. This should be significant –not drowned out by anything that’s less important.”  
             
“I concur.”

“Once we’re settled in in New York and Rory settles into her newness and I settle into mine –then.”

“That is just about the vaguest answer I’ve ever heard –but strangely, it makes perfect sense,” Stan smiled. “Well shit, we have a great things to drink to, don’t we? A toast –to the future and all the surprises ahead, hidden in the nooks and crannies of this thing called life.”

“To life’s nooks and crannies and the secrets and surprises that are hiding in those dark spaces, wherein life’s purposes are just waiting to be unearthed and illuminated,” Jess raised his glass.

“This is two guys toasting over beer, not delivering a Shakespearean soliloquy onstage at the Globe Theatre –”

“You started it, mister To-The-Nooks-And-Crannies-Of-This-Thing-Called-Life Guy –”

Stan sighed. “To life and everything it is gifting us with on the horizon –may we not fuck it up.”

“To not fucking it up,” Jess repeated with a nod, raising his glass before taking a long pull on his beer. “To the fact that I didn’t fuck it up,” he whispered to himself with a smile as he put the ring away and locked it in his messenger bag safely.


	66. Chapter 66

Rory loved _The New York Times_. The pace was fast, the work was challenging. Jill Abramson had heard all about her scare at the _Inquirer_ after her bin Laden story and had her start with beats and stories that focused on the local happenings in New York and how that impacted the national stage. The _Times_ had a different energy than the _Inquirer_ –people talked faster and louder, deadlines were tighter, pitches were tougher and drafts of stories were subject to a much higher level of scrutiny.

Rory was being challenged on every level, pushed outside her comfort zone –her bar for success was inching up, up, up. It didn’t take her long to start thriving under this positive, healthy pressure. Abramson was holding her back from volatile stories until she had her feet squarely underneath her and her bearings set straight –but she never lowered her standards or expectations of Rory –nothing but the best would do.

Jess was in his element at Greater Fool. Within his first week, he’d hammered out the details of how he was going to run his writers’ workshops and pitched a plan for outreach in order to find niche talent.

Soon, he’d start pounding the pavement –business cards in hand- speaking to creative writing instructors and English departments at local community colleges to see if he could finagle his way into a class full of students, telling them who he was and leaving a stack of cards –he hoped that by creating a pool of water right in front of them, some horses would drink.

He frequented local artist nights around NYU, hoping to spot promising talent.            
  
By the time Thanksgiving was nigh, Jess had managed to bring two new authors into the fold. His outreach efforts were paying off –the interest was there and the headcount was rising. Jess would be able to start holding workshops in the New Year –word of mouth would eventually fill any gaps in low initial attendance, if Jess did his job well and led engagingly.

On top of it all, he was editing manuscripts and gathering ideas for Truncheon’s upcoming ‘zine. He had ideas for a work of his own swirling around in his head too; but be was content to put them on the backburner until they were more fully formed and he had his Greater Fool routine down to a science. Jackie, Tim and Cristina thought they’d died and gone to heaven –Jess was Superman in their eyes.

Rory and Jess both collapsed onto their couch on the eve of the Thanksgiving long weekend. It had only been two weeks –their apartment was still a disheveled mess with boxes and belongings littered everywhere. They were ready for a break, a short reprieve from the madness. Jess never thought he’d see the day when he welcomed Thanksgiving in Stars Hollow so eagerly, and yet.

“Oh my God, things are so crazy,” Rory sighed, lying down and putting her head in Jess’ lap. “I’ll be so glad to get out of here tomorrow. I can’t wait to spend a few days at home.”

“Me too,” Jess agreed, running his fingers through Rory’s hair. It was much shorter now –barely reaching her shoulders. She’d chopped a few inches off as soon as they arrived in New York.

“Really? You? Eager to spend Thanksgiving in Stars Hollow?” she asked, looking up at him and laughing.

“The comic relief will be nice. I refuse to come to _any_ festivals. I reserve the right to accompany you, then hang back in the wings and watch the madness and laugh.”

“Fair.”

“Taylor and Kirk better watch out. Luke will have my back.”

“That is true.”

“Hey, Ror?” Jess said quietly, propping up her chin. “Are you happy?”

Her blue eyes sparkled. “My life finally feels like it belongs to me again.”

Jess smiled at her crookedly and let out a tiny sigh of happiness. He stared at Rory –his brown eyes radiating love and warmth- for a long time, before kissing her languidly, taking his time to enjoy the taste of her skin, her lips, her mouth. Jess felt –and he knew Rory did too- that they were exactly where they were supposed to be; this was the beginning of the rest of their lives.

* * *

It was Wednesday November twenty-third, the day before Thanksgiving. Jess and Rory would be arriving in Stars Hollow imminently.

“Taylor!” Luke yelled, crumpling up the flimsy tissue paper turkey and whipping at him. “No autumn decorations; get your stupid, middle-school, tissue paper turkeys out of my face and out of my diner!”

Taylor let out an exasperated sigh and rolled his eyes. “Really, Luke, would it be so hard to embrace the season? It’s just a few tissue paper turkeys –”

“Keep asking me, and I’m going to stuff _you_ like a turkey, Taylor. That would fall under the realm of festive, wouldn’t it? Stuffing the annoying town Selectman like a turkey is an act of festivness that I’d be more than happy to participate in.”

“Turkey Tayor! Yeah! We make Tayor turkey Dada?” a nearly two-year-old William begged from his highchair situated at the diner counter.

“Who am I do deny my young, innocent son what he wants, Taylor?” Luke smiled sweetly. “If I say no, it’ll break his poor little heart.”

Just then, William reached for a second tissue paper turkey that Taylor was holding in his hand. He dropped it on his highchair tray and crumpled it up, giggling hysterically at the crunching sound of the flimsy paper. He held it in his tiny fist and threw it into Taylor’s face, laughing uproariously as it hit his thoroughly unimpressed face before landing on the floor.

“Control your offspring, Mr. Danes. It is not good to allow abusive behaviour patterns develop so young and do nothing to quash them.”

“Yeah, I feel just sick about it actually,” Luke deadpanned. “Taylor, get that stuff out of here or I will let my son keep ‘abusing’ you. I’ll even help him.”

“I swear, you are impossible,” Taylor huffed before leaving the diner.

“Good going mini-me,” Luke cooed to William, holding his hand up for a high five.

“What’s he a good boy for?” Lorelai asked, entering the diner just as Taylor was storming out.

“As usual Taylor was trying to get me to ‘spruce the place up’ for Thanksgiving –”

 “Oh dear, that never goes well.”

“Yeah. If he had his way, there’s be about two dozen tissue paper turkeys littering this place. I offered to stuff him like a turkey, but he didn’t agree with my take on what qualifies as ‘festive’. Little William here agreed with me and crumpled up one of Taylor’s turkeys and threw it right into his face,” Luke explained. “Like a bull’s-eye, didn’t you, mini-me? Yeah you did!”

Lorelai laughed and tickled William, causing joyful screeches to erupt from his tiny mouth. “He _is_ a good boy!”

A few seconds later William was distracted by a voice that he knew, even though this person’s face was not yet visible. “Mess! Messy!” he squealed. “Wowy!”

Jess laughed. “I’m never _not_ going to be ‘Mess’, am I? Just as soon as the twins start calling me ‘Jess’, my cousin has adopted the Mess mantle. Even still, Steve and Kwan insist on calling me Mess most of the time despite the fact that they _can_ indeed say ‘Jess’.”

“You will be ‘Mess’ forever,” Rory smiled, kissing his cheek.

“Hey Jess,” Luke smiled as his nephew absentmindedly picked up William’s rattle and started entertaining his cousin.

“Hey,” Jess grinned back.

Lorelai released Rory from a hug and wrapped her arms around Jess. “Good to see you, mini-Sly.”

“You too. So what is my cousin such a good little boy for today?” he asked cooingly, glancing at William.

“He tossed that tissue paper turkey in Taylor’s face after I refused to allow him to make Thanksgiving throw up in here,” Luke said.

“Aww, way to go, my little rebel,” Jess smirked.

“What can I say,” Lorelai shrugged. “The earlier anyone who crosses Taylor’s path in life learns the _incredibly_ satisfying art of annoying him, the better –”

“I bet that’s your proudest Mommy/Daddy parenting moment yet, when it comes to this guy, huh?” Rory asked with a laugh, kissing her brother on the forehead.

“Yes, he can annoy Taylor _so_ thoroughly at such a young age! That’s my boy!” Luke said proudly.

“So how many Thanksgivings are we in for this year?” Jess asked with a chuckle, changing the subject.

“Three: Sookie’s tonight, Luke’s tomorrow with all of us and Liz and T.J., and the Gilmore’s on Saturday,” Lorelai said. “Sunday has been designated ‘Turkey Hangover Day’; that way you can get some rest before you hit the road later that afternoon.”

“I hope you prepped for this,” Rory said to Jess. “We’re going to be doing some _serious_ eating and if you haven’t stretched –if you haven’t prepared, you’re gonna be down for the count.”

“I remember, oh ye of little faith.”

“Yeah but that was a _long_ time ago and you were only at Luke’s festivities. This time you’re in for a triple-header. We take Thanksgiving very seriously around here. I _love_ you, Jess –if you can’t hold your own for all the Gilmore Thanksgivings… just be thankful we’re not cramming it all into one day this time.”

“My God –why don’t you just yell _Iceberg, right ahead!_ while frantically ringing a useless bell. Dramatic much? Our nearly six-year relationship will not meet its dreadful demise because I couldn’t hold down multiple Thanksgiving dinners,” Jess laughed. “You’re such a drama queen.”

“She gets it from this one,” Luke said dryly, pointing to Lorelai.

Lorelai gasped sarcastically and threw William’s dirty, slimy bib at Luke’s face.

* * *

“I can’t believe Sookie _let_ Jackson deep-fry the turkey again,” Rory mused as they were walking home after dinner. “It tasted surprisingly good.”

“Well, three kids later… plus, Jackson bought the turkey, so –but the real crime here –I’m sad that there was yet another vat of oil and _still_ no Visigoths!” Lorelai complained.  
             
“In fairness, Visigoths haven’t really been a thing since like, 630-ish,” Jess offered.

“How do you know so much about Visigoths?” Rory asked him.

“I read. A lot,” Jess grinned. “Not just fiction either.”

“Luke, will you smother yourself in oil and be my Visigoth?” Lorelai batted her eyes at her husband.

“Okay! That’s the cue for the nephew and the daughter to go ahead with the child and leave you two alone,” Jess said with a shudder, taking over William’s stroller from Luke and walking a few paces ahead with Rory.

“What’s a Visigoth, and why does there need to be oil?” Luke asked.

“Because, everything’s better with oil,” Lorelai winked.

“You are a very strange woman.”

“I know. Aren’t you glad you married me?”

“Every day,” Luke smiled, kissing her as they walked.

* * *

Luke and Lorelai had stopped their annual spat over flowers when Luke moved in; Lorelai owned vases, so the argument was moot. However, every year, Lorelai made Luke stop whatever he was doing _put_ the Thanksgiving flowers in a vase just to watch his head spin, thereby giving birth to a whole new spat which was doomed to carry on every Thanksgiving for the rest of their lives.

“This never gets old,” Jess smirked, watching them bicker the next day.

“It really doesn’t,” Rory agreed.

“God, are they arguing over flowers again?” Liz asked, entering the kitchen after having let herself in the house.

“Well, it is a time honoured tradition,” Jess shrugged. “Hi, Mom.”

“How are you, baby?”

“I’d be a lot better if you didn’t call me baby, I’m twenty-seven.”

“You’ll always be my baby,” Liz said, squeezing his cheek. “God sweetie, when are you going to shave that fur off your face? You have such a nice face, why do you have to have it all covered with hair?”

“Because I’m a man, and I can.”

“Hi Liz,” Rory smiled.

“Oh, Rory, can’t you convince him to shave that mess off his face?”

“No, sorry. I like the beard.”

Liz sighed heavily and hung her head.

“Where’s T.J.?” Rory asked.

Jess nudged Rory in the gut. “Ex-nay on asking about the husband-say,” he muttered through his teeth.

“I heard that, smartass,” Liz said to Jess, before answering Rory. “My genius of a husband decided he was going to barbecue the turkey yesterday, so now he’s frostbitten and on top of that, the man singed off his eyebrows.”

“Yikes. I’m sorry.”

“Not too bright, my T.J. is.”

“Oh, gee, I’m so sorry. Do tell him we missed him, ever so much,” Jess smiled sarcastically.

“Where’s my nephew?”

“Napping,” Rory answered. She rolled her eyes as Luke and Lorelai continued to argue, utterly oblivious to Liz’s arrival. “Guys!” she yelled, “look who’s here!”

“Liz! Hi!” Lorelai smiled, blindly shoving the flowers against Luke’s chest until he reluctantly took them.

“When did you get here, sis?” he asked, halfheartedly looking for a vase.

“Oh, never mind,” Liz sighed. “Happy Thanksgiving, big brother. Find a vase for those before the entire meal gets burnt.”

* * *

When Lorelai, Luke, Jess and Rory arrived at the mansion on Saturday, Emily greeted them with a cordial stiffness –she was rather perturbed that she and Richard were last on the list of Thanksgiving festivities.

“Grandma, we were just saving the best for last,” Rory smiled, kissing her on the cheek.

“Oh no, of course,” Emily sighed. “You’ve already enjoyed two days of feasts, I’m sure your appetite is whet for round three. Olga’s been slaving since dawn but no matter, turkey makes great leftovers.”

“Olga?” Lorelai asked. “What happened to Alexandra?”

“I fired her.”

“Mom, why?”

“I caught her prepping the food without a hairnet. The last thing I want to find in my mushroom risotto is hair from another woman’s head.”

Lorelai sighed. “Was her hair tied back?”

“Yes –in a bun- but that hardly matters.”

“Mom, if her hair was tied back in a bun then how would hair get into your food? Oh never mind, we’ll be standing in this doorway for hours –so instead, I remind you, mother dearest, who you’re talking to. Have you really forgotten how seriously we eat? We’re famished – _so_ ready for the feast the help has been slaving over. It’ll be great.”

“Gob, gob,” William giggled, trying to imitate a turkey. “Gammy! Gob, gob.”

“Someone’s excited for turkey,” Luke grinned.

“Yes, because a two-year-old has such a refined palate,” Emily said in a singsong tone, poking William’s chubby little belly. “Then again, given that he’s your son, I shouldn’t be surprised. But that’s okay, isn’t it William? Yes, it is. Gammy and Grandpa can teach you the joys of _real_ food.”     

“Emily uttered the non-word ‘Gammy’, which can only mean one thing,” Richard smiled, entering the foyer, “my grandson is here! Hello, Lorelai, Luke.”

“Hi Dad,” Lorelai grinned.

“Richard,” Luke said, grasping his hand for a hearty shake.

“Ah, Jess! Rory, how’s New York treating you?” Richard asked them.

“Good, sleepless,” Rory said as she hugged him.

“I thought that was Seattle?”

“My God,” Lorelai gasped. “Was that a… pop-culture reference?”

“Hardy har, Lorelai. I do pay a modicum of attention, you know.”

“Are you sleeping, Rory?” Emily asked, suddenly concerned.

“Yeah, I am,” she assured her.  
             
Emily looked at Jess warily.

Jess was taken aback –even after all this time- to see Emily look to him to vouch for Rory’s word, or anything else. Part of him would probably never be used to it. He blinked hard and shook it off, offering her a reassuring nod.

“I meant the city –the city that never sleeps –it still never sleeps,” Rory giggled. “Evidently, the reporters at the _Times_ survive on less than is generally needed for human survival either –much less optimum functioning. But it’s working for them.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’re fitting in fine. You know, I’m going to have to start a new scrapbook soon. Your bylines are bursting out of the one I’ve got.”

“It must be a pretty small scrapbook. I haven’t even been there for a month. How long are you going to keep saving them all?”

“You ask that like you expect him to stop,” Emily said to her granddaughter.

“You and Mom should trade,” Rory smiled. “I think you’d get a kick out of the similar, yet entirely different ways you’re both cataloguing my career.”

“Trade?” Lorelai asked. “Let’s not get crazy. Mutual showing of systems, sure, but anything more than that –”

“Madness,” Richard concurred.

“Gob, gob!” William interjected shrilly.

“Someone’s hungry,” Jess laughed, refusing –as always- to hand his coat to the maid and putting it in the closet himself. “I tend to agree with the little guy. Scowl not, Emily. We’ve fasted in anticipation for this. None of us have eaten since lunch.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Emily scoffed.

“No, it’s true,” Rory said. “Mom and I are getting lighthearted.”

“Come then,” Richard said, leading them into the living room for drinks. “Jess, that publishing house you’re at, how is it treating you?”

“It’s good. I’m really looking forward to getting the writing workshops up and running –and the outreach process is full of surprises. They’ve got a great thing going and they’re letting me forge my own mold, which is nice. I really do miss Truncheon and the guys though –being able to stay involved through the ‘zine has been so great.”

“It’s an awful lot to juggle. Are you sure you’ll be able to keep up with all those responsibilities without dropping one of the plates you’re spinning?” Emily asked.

“I think so,” Jess nodded. “It helps to love what I do.”

“They’re mighty sharp, those people who hired you,” Richard smiled. “Any place that can take an economic theory about calculated hubris and turn it into a perfect slogan for a publishing house gets a vote of confidence from me. I should like to come and see the operation sometime. Truncheon is very impressive though, so as smart as they are for the slogan of their business and the fact that they hired you, they’ve got very large shoes to fill.”

 “I appreciate the vote of confidence. You’re welcome anytime.”

“I just don’t understand what’s taking so long,” Emily said discreetly to Lorelai. Jess and Rory had followed Richard into his study to look at his newly acquired editions of Plato’s _Symposium_ and _Republic._ “Why hasn’t he proposed yet? With the recent drama at the _Inquirer_ and their move to New York, I understood. But they’re in New York now –what could he possibly be waiting for?”

“My god Mom –maybe they want to let the dust settle. They haven’t even been there a month,” Lorelai sighed.

“The dust has been settled for nearly six years.”

“Can we all just stop for a second and marvel at the strangeness that is you, chomping at the bit for _Jess_ to propose to Rory? My God, if I was a compulsive gambler, I’d be cleaning up on the unlikely bet.”

“Actually, _I’d_ be cleaning up,” Luke corrected her. “I saw the potential long before you did.”

“Oh, that doesn’t count –Godot was more reliable than he was back then,” Lorelai said to him.

“It totally counts. I called endgame first.”

“Fantastic, now that this has devolved into a juvenile rant your toddler could chime in on,” Emily rolled her eyes. “You don’t think he’s falling out of love with her, do you?”

“No Mom, definitely not.”

“Has he spoken to you yet?”

“About… what?”

“What do you mean, ‘about what?’ Asking for Rory’s hand! My goodness Lorelai, I swear now that your potential is no longer in dire straits, the dust is gathering in your ears instead.”

“Oh, and the lame _zing!_ goes to one Emily Gilmore! Mom –he has not talked to us yet, but I’m sure he will soon. When he does, it won’t be to ‘ask for Rory’s hand,’ as you so quaintly put it, I’m sure,” Lorelai giggled.

“Well, they’re not getting any younger,” Emily sighed.

“Okay, well they’re not exactly senior citizens either,” Luke chimed in. “They’re getting settled into new jobs in a new city. They’re not even thirty yet, Emily.”

“By the time I was thirty Luke, I’d been married for almost ten years and I had an _incredibly_ obstinate child on my hands.”

“And yet again, the less-than-stellar _zing!_ goes to… Are you sure you’re feeling okay, Mom? Your insulting comebacks are usually sharper, more fatal-stab-wound-to-the-gut, cut-to-the-quick! type dramatics.”

“Funny thing about stab wounds to the gut, actually. Most of them aren’t fatal at all unless they get you in the kidney. But the most likely place o get a stab wound like that is in the intestines, which are too high to be likely to cause any serious –”

“Oh no, not with the placement of fatal versus non-fatal gut wounds again,” Jess sighed with a chuckle, overhearing Luke as he re-entered the living room. “Seriously Lorelai –I think you really may have married a murderer. You might want to check your basement and attic for bodies.”

“And here I thought his surly personality was just a quirk –it could’ve been hiding darker urges the _whole time!_ ” Lorelai said, her eyes bugging out in feigned fear.

“Well this has become entirely grotesque conversation. It’s a good thing dinner’s over,” Emily said with a hint of the sharpness that Jess had remembered not-so-fondly as being singularly directed at him, once upon a time.

William started to get fussy moments later, their cue that they really had to get going.

“Don’t worry Mom,” Lorelai whispered to Emily as they got up to leave and Jess and Rory had disappeared to get their coats. “Rory’s manning a kayak with a double-sided paddle that is easily wielded by one person; Rory is kayak, hear her roar. Jess is kayak too and for right now, they’re content to kayak side-by-side; it’s just a different kind of teamwork that’s all –keeping pace, spotting each other and making sure that neither one gets left behind because the other bolted out ahead. Rory and Jess are both kayak –synchronized kayak- hear them roar. And again –I stress- he hasn’t talked to us yet so I _can’t say exactly when_ , but I have a feeling –soon, officially- they’ll be paddling a canoe together for many years, and he will not drop the paddle on her. They’ll be paddling in a canoe together or they’ll invest in a double-seated kayak, which will make them all the more powerful.”

“Oh, do you really think so?” Emily asked hopefully.

“I do,” Lorelai assured her.

After everyone said their goodbyes, Jess and Rory went ahead with William to warm up the Jeep.

“Thanks for being in a double-seated kayak with me,” Lorelai told Luke lovingly.

“You’re welcome,” he smiled, kissing her lips gently. “Though I gotta be honest –am I supposed to know what that analogy was supposed to mean? Because I kinda don’t.”

“Don’t worry. It’s a mother-daughter inside joke thing.”

“And here I thought those only existed between the younger generation of mother and daughter. Just when I think I have this family all figured out…”

“We pull an amazing ‘ _Gotcha!_ ’ moment on you,” Lorelai chuckled triumphantly.

“You really do. So, do you really think Jess is going to talk to us soon? Do you think he’s ready to ask Rory to marry him?”

“Yeah, I do. And back then, or even when they got back together in this reincarnation of their relationship, if you’d asked me, I would have told you unequivocally that you were insane. I’d even go so far as having you committed. But –yeah and more shock and awe –I’m totally okay with it. They’re ying and yang. Everything about them just –fits. Like this was the master plan all along –this is the way it was always meant to be; now was always meant to be their time. Mark my words, when they’re back for William’s birthday in a few weeks, he’ll try to get us alone; if that fails he’ll talk to us at Christmas for sure. I doubt he’ll actually propose at Christmas though –too obvious and obviously public. Whenever he does it and however he chooses to ask her –it’ll be with quiet, understated poignancy.”

“That’s a very meticulous prediction,” Luke said skeptically.

As if on cue, soft snowflakes started falling from the sky as they approached the Jeep. It was as if the Powers That Be were laughing at his skepticism –as if he’d know better by now than to question how perceptive Lorelai was, especially when it came to matters concerning Rory. “You’ll see, Luke. You’ll see,” Lorelai smiled, tilting her face to the sky and inhaling deeply the aroma of her beloved snow.


	67. Chapter 67

After Christmas, Jess and Rory took a detour and stopped in Syracuse New York; Syracuse was about a three-and-a-half-hour drive from Ottawa and Daniel and Lydia were meeting them there the weekend after New Year’s. Rory and Jess found it ironic that Manhattan was further from Syracuse than Ottawa was.

Daniel and Lydia were well –loving their jobs and enjoying being back in the Canadian Capital. They’d purchased a three-bedroom condo near the _Ottawa Citizen_ headquarters in the west end of the city.

When Jess asked if they’d soon be hearing the pitter-patter of little Frenchies, they laughed and simply said, “Not yet.”

Lydia noticed that Rory’s ring finger was still bare, but said nothing about it to Jess –not giving any indication she’d noticed at all. She was a smart woman, she knew that when Jess proposed, she and Daniel would know about it almost right away. They might not be the third phone call, as Jess and Rory had been when Daniel proposed, but Lydia knew they wouldn’t be left out of the loop.

Similarly, Daniel trusted his friend to propose when he felt the time was right and not before. It would be soon, they both knew.

* * *

When Rory returned to work, she immediately busied herself with decoding yet another twinkle she’d noticed in President Obama’s eyes in the weeks leading up to Christmas. She was sure he would be running for reelection. Any announcement was still months away, but she was a woman possessed –on top of her regular beat and responsibilities, she requested permission to investigate and report on all the signs that pointed to Obama running for a second term.

Rory was so caught up in work that she thought nothing of Jess telling her that he had to go to Connecticut on business three weeks into the new year. “I wish I could come with you,” she sighed. “But I’m swamped. Are you gonna stay in Stars Hollow?”

“Maybe. I don’t know yet,” Jess answered. “But I’ll be seeing Lorelai and Luke at some point.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“Not long. Three days, tops.”

* * *

“Jess!” Richard said recognizing the voice on the phone a few days later. “This is a surprise! To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?”

“I’m headed back Connecticut way for business at the end of the month,” Jess said. “Do you and Emily and Luke and Lorelai… do you still do Friday night dinner together? Even with Rory gone?”

“Yes, of course. Dinner is every Friday at seven. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I’m going to be in town for the last Friday of the month. Can I join you?”

“Of course you can! You needn’t ask permission, Jess,” Richard laughed.

“Right, sorry. Old habits of eggshell walking, I guess. Thanks.”

Jess wasn’t lying to Rory –Tim and Cristina were sending him to Connecticut to land a new author. But he had another, more important errand to accomplish on his trip, one which he couldn’t tell her about.

Jess thought long and hard about how to approach this; he figured it best to only have the conversation once if he could, which meant including as many of the main players as possible. He knew better than to talk to Lorelai and Luke at home –with all the prying eyes; no, he had to do this somewhere other than in Stars Hollow, which meant Friday night dinner. He swallowed hard at the thought of being the focus of an entire evening –asking for the spotlight to be directed into his eyes. Knowing he’d been subjected to worse than this at the hands of these four particular people was something that both comforted him and terrified him in equal measure. _At least they like you now_ , he thought to himself. _Think how much worse this would be if they still hated you._

As much as he loved Liz, he’d have to wait to tell her until right before he proposed; his mother was lousy at keeping her mouth shut.

Oddly, Christopher never occurred to Jess at all. He wasn’t worried about how to engineer him being there as well. He wanted to just tell Christopher with Rory by his side after he’d proposed; he’d check with Lorelai, and unless she cautioned him not to, that’s exactly what he planned to do.

“Mini-Sly,” Lorelai said slowly when she picked up the phone the next day. “I hear you called my father yesterday.”

“Yeah, I did,” Jess sighed. He knew he was made; he should’ve called Lorelai to confirm the Friday night dinner routine.

“I hear you asked about Friday night dinner.”

“Yup.”

“I hear you asked if you could join in the family fun.”

“Yup.”

“Is Rory coming with you?”

“No, she has to work.”

“Interesting,” Lorelai said, letting it hang in the air.

“Is there a question in there somewhere?” Jess asked. “You’re fishing.”

“Oh, God, no I’m not. I hate fishing. Get Luke to tell you about the time I asked him to teach me how to fish so that I could impress this guy I was with… he was ready to kill me.”

“What a surprise.”

“Watch that tone, smarty, or I’ll have Sookie make me a pie to smash into your face.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve heard that one. Nice to know I haven’t lost my touch,” Jess laughed. “Well, I called to tell you that I’m coming, and now you know. I gotta get going. I’ll see you soon, Lorelai.”

“Mess!” William yelled excitedly. When he started asking for Mommy, Luke told him she was busy talking to his cousin. At that, he set about squirming to be freed from Luke’s arms. When Luke set him down, he ran to the kitchen and pulled on Lorelai’s leg. “Hi, Mess!”

“Do you have a sec?” Lorelai asked Jess. “Keep in mind, he’s two and he loves you. If I hang up, he’ll be mad at me and Luke for the rest of the day for taking you away.”

“Yeah, I do. Hold the phone to him.”

“Okay, here you go. Say hi again, Will!”

“Hi Mess,” William giggled.

“Hey, little rebel!” Jess said happily. “How are ya?”

“Good. Me miss you.”

“I miss you too, little guy. I’ll see you soon though.”

“Soon?”

“Soon.”

“Yay!”

“Can I talk to your mommy again?”

“Mommy? My mommy?”

“Yes. Let Mess talk to Will’s mommy again.”

“Otay. Mommy! Mess for you!” William said, pushing the phone towards Lorelai.

“Hey,” Jess said. “So you’ll tell Luke I’m coming?”

“Yup,” Lorelai nodded. “I will tell Luke you’re coming.”

“Thanks. Bye, Lorelai.”

“Bye, Mini-Sly.” Lorelai hung up the phone and scooped William up in her arms. “Should we tell Daddy that cousin Mess is coming to visit?”

“Yes!” William squealed. “Daddy!” he said when Lorelai entered the living room. “Mess is coming!”

“He _is_?” Luke asked, looking at his son with wide eyes. “When?”

“Soon!”

“It’s true,” Lorelai nodded, a smile spreading across her face. “This is it Luke. What did I tell you? It’s happening.”

“It…” Luke repeated slowly, trying to decipher the tiny word’s newfound meaning. “Is this a Stephen King thing?”

“No! But points for making the connection.”

“Thank you. So, then, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Luke! You’re hopeless! Jess is coming here in two weeks. He called my dad yesterday to confirm that Friday night dinners were still a thing, even without Rory. _Before_ he called here.”

“So, he’s coming here.”

“Yes. And he wants to come to Friday night dinner.”

“Rory’s not coming with him?”

Lorelai shook her head. “He said she’s working. He’s coming to Connecticut for work, to land a new author or something.”

At this, Luke perked up. “He _wants_ to come to Friday night dinner? Without Rory? I know he gets along with your parents now, but that’s…”

“Yeah.”

“You think he’s going to talk to us about –?”

“I know he is.”

Luke chuckled under his breath quietly and leaned down to cover William’s ears with his hands. “It’s about goddamn time,” he whispered.

* * *

“So Jess, how is work treating you?” Richard asked as they sat with their drinks before dinner that last Friday in January 2012.

“Good,” Jess answered shakily. The reason for his errand was weighing on his mind. He felt like the ring box was pooching his jacket from where it was stashed, tucked in the inside pocket against his chest. It was strange, being there for dinner without Rory. He’d been to her grandparents’ place a handful of times without her by now, but never for Friday night dinner.

“Where’s William this evening?” Emily asked.

“With Lane and Zach and the boys. We figured he could use some playtime,” Lorelai answered. Both she and Luke agreed once they’d figured out the reason for Jess’ visit that it was wise not to bring their-two-year-old son, lest he be able to understand any one word of the conversation –or see the sparkly ring- and tell his sister about it.

Emily sighed. “The boy is two, all he does is play. I wanted to see my grandson.”

“Mom, don’t pout. Remember, _William_ is the two-year-old.”

Luke stifled a laugh and Jess elbowed him in the ribs; he quickly morphed the sound coming out of his mouth to that of a stifled cough.

“Would you like some water, Luke?” Emily asked pointedly.

“No, no. I’m fine,” Luke answered.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. It’s gone now.”

“Miraculous.”

The maid appeared out of nowhere. “Dinner is ready.”

“Dinner! Let’s go,” Lorelai said, downing the rest of her martini in one swallow and jumping up. “Jess, escort me?” she asked, sidling up next to him and looping her arm through his.

“Way to throw Luke to the wolves,” Jess chuckled quietly.

“Hey, he threw himself to the wolves. I’ve merely left him with them. There is a difference. Now will you escort me to the table, or no?”

“Sure. But as I’ve heard it told, Luke is the supposed ‘escort’ according to your mother.”

It took Lorelai a second to remember that day in the hospital eleven years before. Emily had assumed that Luke was her escort. “How’d you know about that?”

“Luke told me.”

“Of course he did.”

“Now, I should tell you that I’m a mere and lowly gigolo –or at least I was, Luke feared when I was seventeen and suddenly had the money to buy a car. I have yet to learn the finer art of escorting,” Jess whispered with a smirk.

“My, my daughter is a lucky woman,” Lorelai smiled.

“She is! As it turns out, I was never a gigolo at all. I was skipping school to work at Wal-Mart –a perfectly respectable way to dishonestly pocket some extra cash.”

“Thank goodness. Hey, Mini-Sly?”

“Yeah?”

“Breathe. You’ll be fine,” Lorelai said, looking at him knowingly before sitting down.

“Lorelai, what are you –?”

“Wait until after the salad course –that way they’ll have some food in them and they’ll be more likely to react with more awe than shock. Don’t wait until desert and coffee –it’ll be too quiet and they’ll pry you for more details than they should be privy to.”

He sighed. Of course she’d figured it out, which meant that Luke probably knew what was going on here too. “Please don’t tell the whole town when you get home –the whole reason I wanted to have this conversation here is –”

“I won’t. Luke either. We promise.”

“Not even to Sookie or Liz.”

“Not a peep, Jess.”

“What are you two whispering about?” Emily asked from behind Lorelai.

“Nothing. We were just talking about how excited we are for the yummy dinner that’s been prepared. Right, Jess?”

“Right,” Jess concurred, still shocked that Lorelai had figured everything out already. He shouldn’t have been that surprised, and yet.

Lorelai offered him a reassuring wink and motioned for him to sit down before people started looking at him funny.

After picking the raisons out of his salad before eating it and thinking, _How ironic. How many times have I eaten here since that night? And today, of all days, they can’t leave well enough alone and they put raisons in the damn salad,_ Jess awkwardly cleared his throat, thankful that no one seemed to notice the pile on his otherwise empty plate.

“Are you alright, Jess?” Richard asked as the maid cleared the salads.

Jess swallowed a large gulp of water. “Yeah. I’m fine. I actually –I, uh –I have something to talk to you about.”

“Talk to whom about? There are four of us at this table you could be referring to,” Richard chuckled.

“All of you.”

“Are you sure everything’s okay, Jess?” Emily asked.

Jess looked at Lorelai –who offered a small, encouraging smile- and then Luke –who winked reassuringly. He was suddenly very glad that they’d both figured it out and were backing him one hundred percent.

Clearing his throat again, he took a deep breath and started to explain as their main courses were set down in front of them. He’d eat a stone cold dinner, if he had to –Jess was going to get this out before he lost his nerve. “Everything’s fine, I promise. I –well –oh, Christ, there’s no sense in beating around the bush, so here goes. Rory and I have been together a long time. It’ll be six years next month. I know everyone here has had their doubts about me and I really don’t blame you. I’ve deserved most of the vitriol that’s been leveled at me over the years. But I –I’m not that guy anymore. I haven’t been that guy for a long time.”

“We know, Jess,” Richard said, exchanging a heavy look with Emily.

“I know you do. I know you both know that,” he said, glancing to Richard and Emily. “I’m not here to make apologies for things that are long past. I –I love Rory more than anything.”

“We know that too, Jess,” Emily said quietly.

“These past six years have been intense, difficult, amazing. They’ve been –I’m so –I went to school, I graduated with _two_ Degrees –I’m in a great place. Rory’s in a great place too; after everything that’s happened, she’s finally comfortable in her own skin again. I needed to wait until I knew she was totally okay and now she is.”

“Wait for what?” Richard asked. “Why have you been waiting?”

Jess made sure to make eye contact with everyone before locking gazes with Richard to answer his question. “I bought a ring. I’ve been waiting for the right time to propose. I’m going to ask Rory to marry me.”

Richard was shocked, but in a good way. “Goodness gracious, my boy. Are you serious?”

Jess nodded and looked around the table again. Lorelai was trying not to cry, Luke was smiling proudly, Emily was wearing a goofy grin, the likes of which he was sure he’d never see on her face again and Richard started to laugh happily.

Jess took another deep breath, relieved. “I never thought I’d give a crap about getting married. So many people get married for the wrong reasons. I don’t care about marriage as a societal norm. But I do care about being married to Rory. She’s the only person in the world I would ever _want_ to be married to. If I hadn’t had the chance to make things right with her, even if I’d fallen in love with someone else and spent my life with them –no matter who they were or how much I loved them, I’d never want to marry them. Rory is the only woman in the world I would or could ever marry. She’s the only woman in the world I could ever picture as my wife. I’m not exactly husband material either; but she’s the only woman in the world I could ever want to be a good husband for. I don’t want to be a husband; I want to be  _Rory’s husband_. I don’t want to have a wife; I want  _Rory to be my wife._ I hope I’m making sense.”

"You are,” Lorelai assured him emotionally.

"You’re making perfect sense, Jess. That's  _exactly_ how you should feel and what you should know. That it’s Rory and no one else. It could never be anyone other than Rory," Emily said softly.

“She’s right, Jess. You're making perfect sense,” Richard told him.

“Look at me and Lorelai,” Luke offered, “our relationship took a hell of a long time to blossom, but there’s never been anyone else for either of us.”

Jess smirked at everyone, thankful for their support. “Yeah, don’t I know it,” he laughed. “And no offense –if someone here isn’t on board, it doesn’t mean I’m not going to ask her –soon.”

“I would like to be the first one to say –only because I’m the one you might’ve had the hardest time convincing,” Emily said slowly and evenly, “that no one at this table is anything but thrilled to hear such news.”

Jess smiled at Emily, thankful that the first nod of approval came from the hardest sell. He still had a hard time believing how much he’d grown to like Rory’s grandparents, let alone her grandmother. Even harder to believe was the fact that not only did they _not_ hate him anymore, they actually liked him back. It was weird –but kind of awesome.

“After dinner, we expect to see that ring,” she said with a grin.

“Of course. But, the ring is bought and paid for and in my possession. I respect you, Emily –but if you don’t like it, too bad. The ring I bought is the ring I’m giving her,” Jess winked.

“You are excellent,” Lorelai whispered to Jess. “I couldn’t have come up with a better comeback myself.”

“Nice job, kid,” Luke said softly. “I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen Emily Gilmore speechless.”

“I can hear you two, you know,” Emily said sharply. “For God’s sake, William behaves better. Jess, I’m sure I’ll like whatever you chose. If I don’t, I’ll keep my opinion to myself.”

“No you won’t,” Jess said with a wry smile.

“You’re right, I probably won’t. But I won’t try to make you buy something else.”

“You’re not allowed to buy anything to replace what I bought,” Jess said firmly.

“I promise.”  
  
“Thank you.”  
             
Richard cleared his throat and tapped his wine glass with his knife before raising it high. “If everyone at this table is done bickering –I would like to propose a toast to Jess and the beginning of the next phase of his and Rory’s future together.”


	68. Chapter 68

“I never took you for the clichéd type,” Luke chuckled.

“Shut up,” Jess said quickly. “I’m not proposing on Valentine’s Day.”

“I guess that’s true. Do you think she’ll see it coming?”

“Don’t know. Doesn’t really matter. Won’t stop me from asking. I’m not doing this for shock value.” Jess sighed heavily.

“What’s that about?” Luke asked.

“Where are you right now?”

“At home. Alone. Why?”

“Just making sure it was safe to keep talking without arousing the suspicions of the nosy people in that _lovely_ town of yours,” Jess explained. After a pause, he said, “I talked to Lorelai about the Christopher thing.”

Luke tensed involuntarily at the mention of Christopher’s name. “What’d she say?”

“She seemed to think it would be okay for Rory and I to tell him together, after. But I dunno…”

“Jess, I shouldn’t have to remind you that in six years, you still haven’t met this guy in person –consider yourself lucky. You owe him less than nothing. He’s had plenty of time to take an actual active interest in the man in his daughter’s life –he hasn’t. If Lorelai says it’s okay to tell him together with Rory after you’ve proposed, that’s exactly what you should do. When did you start giving a shit about how your proposal comes across to _Christopher_ of all people?”

“I have no idea. I guess I just don’t want to give him an excuse to be upset about being left out of the loop and have a reason to take it out on Rory or Lorelai. I can’t turn it off.”

“Tell you what –you look out for Rory, I’ll look out for Lorelai. When it comes to Christopher Hayden, you’re allowed to turn it off. Shove it in a closet and bury it.”

Jess laughed. “A little bitter, are we, Uncle Luke?”

“Don’t get me started…” Luke warned.

“Relax. You got the girl, remember? And you’re more of a father to Rory than he ever was, you know that.”

“I know. Just be lucky that you don’t have to deal with Rory’s romantic past.”

“I am –now,” Jess said pointedly.

“Right. Sorry. I didn’t mean to –all I meant was –I mean, I know I don’t have to see the asshat very much, or hardly even at all, but whenever I do, I just want to punch him in the face. You owe him nothing Jess. Don’t let him trip you up. You did something gargantuan and Herculean –you came to Friday night dinner and told the grandparents you were proposing. Emily even likes the ring!”

“She’s disappointed it’s so simple and unconventional.”

“So? She’s Emily Gilmore! She’ll always be disappointed in something –that woman was born with a chip on her shoulder and a perma-scowl on her face. Why do you care?”

“Oh, I absolutely don’t. I’m just saying –no matter how much she likes me now, she’ll still always find fault with something. I’m used to it.”

“You know they’ll want you to have a big society wedding. Lorelai’ll want you to get married at the inn…”

“Ugh, stop. Don’t get _me_ started. Can I propose before everyone starts in with all that crap? Rory and I should decide this stuff anyway; it has nothing to do with anyone else.”

“Weddings have very little to do with the couple getting married. Weddings are all about pleasing everyone else.”

“Well, ours won’t be. Our wedding day will be about us. Everyone else be damned. Lovingly, of course –but everyone else be damned.”

“What if she wants to get married on the bridge? _Your_ bridge?” Luke asked teasingly.

“I’ll threaten to find a gun and pull a Hemingway,” Jess deadpanned.

“That’s fairly drastic.”

“It’s not _our bridge,_ first of all. We haven’t been seventeen in a very long time. Our relationship outgrew that bridge long time ago. Yes, it is the site of some very significant milestones from the early days –one of them being when I sat there and cried after that car accident and I’m in no hurry to have flashbacks, thanks. I was a colossal fuck up back then; it always ended in hurt. We made it work _away_ from that bridge. If she distills our entire relationship down to that stupid dock, then I have no idea who I fell in love with. Besides, you tried to drown me there and it was the site of The Deadly Swan Assault of 2003; if that’s where she wants to be married, I’ll veto on the grounds of extreme psychological trauma.”

“Fair points, all. I agree, getting married on the bridge would be fairly unimaginative.”

“She won’t want to get married on the bridge. We’re not seventeen. Crap, she’s gonna be home any second, I gotta go.”

“Alright, say hi to her for me.”

“I will.”

“And Jess –seriously, do _not_ lose sleep about telling Christopher by yourself. He’s not worth it. You shouldn’t have to put yourself through that,” Luke assured him. “Tell him with Rory. End of discussion.”  
  
“Sir, yes sir!” Jess laughed. “Thanks Luke. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Hey you,” Rory smiled. She came in just as Jess hung up the phone. “Who were you talking to?”

“Luke. He says hi.”

“You’re quite the family man lately. You just spent all weekend with them and now you’re having phone dates a week later.”

Jess shrugged. “Call it personal growth. Besides, someone has to convince William his sister doesn’t hate him.”

Rory pouted. “I still can’t believe he looked for me for half an hour.”

“He’s used to seeing us together. We weren’t. It threw him for a loop. He’s under the impression we never go anywhere without each other –like him and his Super Bunny. He doesn’t _actually_ hate you, Ror. I was only kidding –mostly.” Jess wrapped his arms around Rory and kissed her lips softly. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“So. Are we a go for visiting Philly the weekend of March eleventh? Matt’s bugging me to confirm.”

“The eleventh is still a month away. Have they turned your old place into a brothel or something? –they need advance notice before kicking out all the women of loose morals?”

“I don’t think so, but that would be interesting. I think they just miss me. And you, too.”

“That’s sweet. Yeah, call him, tell him we’re in. I’m gonna jump in the shower. Oh, and I got the day before our anniversary  _and_ the following Monday off. Thank God the twenty-fifth is a Saturday this year and I’ve never requested a personal day at all since I became a journalist. But that means I can’t take any more time off for a few months.”

“Can’t have you getting used to four-day weekends, huh?”

“Nope. It would cause mutiny within the ranks.”

“Can’t have that,” Jess whispered. “I love you, Rory.”

“I love you too, Jess. It’ll be so nice, lounging in bed for four whole days. Should we be worried that we care so little about doing anything fancy for our anniversary?” Rory asked with a laugh.

“Absolutely not. It’s our anniversary –we should spend it how we want. Besides –you, me, a bed –there’s no better way to mark our anniversary if you ask me. Unless you want a fancy hullabaloo of some kind? We could disturb the peace, if it so pleased you,” Jess smirked.

Rory bit her lip to suppress a giggle and ran her fingers through Jess’ hair. She shook her head. “I have everything it pleases me to have, right here. I don’t need anything else.”

Jess kissed her slowly, groaning into her mouth before pulling away reluctantly. “Go, get in the shower. We have to be at Stan’s in an hour. You know what’ll happen if we’re late.”

“I know, I know. I’m going.”

“Hey, it’s me,” Jess said to Matt, calling him when he heard Rory start the water in the bathroom.

“The Prodigal Brother! How are you, Jess?”

“I’m good, man. I’m good. How’s everything there?”

“Not the same without our resident Scrooge, but we’re surviving. You’re doing great with the ‘zine, by the way. How are things at Greater Fool?”

“They’re –well, great,” Jess laughed. “I’ve landed a handful of new authors and my workshops are slowly picking up. But it’s no Truncheon.”

“Damn right it’s not. Glad you haven’t forgotten about us common-folk while you’re off taking the big city by storm,” Matt joked. “How’s Rory?”

“Also great. That’s why I’m calling. The weekend of the eleventh –we’re in.”

“Fantastic! And by then, we’ll see a ring on her finger, yes?”

“That’s the plan.”

“Good, because you know –if not, the whole surprise-you’re- _finally_ -engaged party might be somewhat amiss.”

“We’ll be engaged by then, provided she says yes.”

“She hasn’t been able to resist your crooked mouth for years. What makes you think she’ll suddenly say no to it now?”

“Very funny.”

“How’d the conversation with the uber-grandparents go?” Matt asked.

“I love how you skip right past Luke and Lorelai and go straight to the grandparents,” Jess laughed.

“Sorry. If anyone was going to try and harm you, Luke and Lorelai wouldn’t have been the ones to do it. I figured that any cries of outrage would come right from the mouths of the elder elders.”

“No one’s smiting me down.”

“Really?”

“Please, try to contain your shock.”

“Hey man, I’m thrilled. Seriously though? Not the tiniest bit of pushback?”

“Nope, unless you count the fact that Emily’s not a huge fan of the ring. She didn’t say as much, I mean I’m sure she doesn’t _hate_ it, _that_ she would’ve told me –”

“That ring is amazing,” Matt assured him. “What possible reason could she have not to like it? If you say it’s because she doesn’t think it’s expensive enough, I’ll be gunning to hit an old lady for the first time in my life.”

“Whoa, easy there, Rambo,” Jess chuckled. “Price has nothing to do with it. I think she thinks the idea of an engagement band is too contemporary. I’m sure she’d much rather that Rory have giant a skating rink surrounded by smaller skating rinks.”

“Well, _Emily_ is crazy. She has shit taste in jewelry if she doesn’t like that ring.”

“Can I tell her you said that?”

“No you may not. I don’t want her hunting me down, thank you very much."

“Two seconds ago you were threatening violence, now you’re scared of her?”

“Woman like that doesn’t get her hands dirty, Jess. She’d have hitmen hunt me down. That’s who I’m scared of.”

“Don’t waste perfectly good fear on underlings and henchmen with meat for brains. Fear the boss.”

“Dude, are you trying to tell me that Rory’s grandmother is Tony Soprano?” Matt laughed.

“No. I’m saying Emily Gilmore’s probably the one who ordered the hit that killed Tony Soprano. Shit, I gotta go –Rory just turned off the shower,” Jess said in a hushed voice.

“Okay. Oh! Text me Daniel’s number and let him know he’ll be hearing from me. We want to invite him and Lydia.”

“Good idea! I will. Thanks Matt.”

* * *

“Rory! Breathtaking as ever!” Stan said with a smile when he saw her. “What in the world are you still doing with the man with the girl name?”

“Nice to see you too, Stan,” Jess smirked.

“What’s with the ‘too’? When did I say it was nice to see you?” Stan shot back.

Jess smacked him in the back of the head.

“There’s my little firecracker!”

Jess hit him again.

“You keep going like that, I’ll get a concussion.”

“Oh no you won’t. I’ve had a concussion. If you’d like to join the Special Needs Boy Club, I can ram your head into a brick wall at thirty miles an hour.”

“No thank you.”

“Are you sure? Act now, and you’ll get a limited edition cape!” Jess smirked.

“Such violence! And political incorrectness! Really Rory, why must you feed his delusion that he’s good enough for you?”

“I love him,” Rory said, giggling at the banter between the two of them. “Hi Stan.”

“Love,” Stan scoffed. “That’s no reason. Are you married yet?”

Jess’ eyes went wide, but Rory didn’t notice.

“No,” she answered.

“All the more reason to leave him then. How long does he think he can string you along?”

Jess smacked Stan a third time.

“Really, Jess. Rory and I are _trying_ to have a conversation. If you’re going to continue with these outbursts, perhaps you should leave,” Stan sighed.

“Real nice, Famy,” Jess chuckled.

“Would you like me to hit _you_ now, Mr. Mariano? Or do you not recall from last time you called me that, that I can hit much harder than you?” Stan challenged with a smile.

“I’d rather save the bloodshed for after dinner, if that’s okay with you, _Mr. Famlookins_ ,” he answered.

Stan let out a hearty laugh and took their coats before leading the way into the kitchen. “It _is_ good to see you, Jess. My, how I’ve missed our verbal sparring matches. Come on! Tell me everything! Are you and Rory taking Manhattan by storm? How’s the outreach program at Greater Fool going? I have some ideas that I think would really help it take off like a rocket; that way your writer’s workshops will be packed to the rafters. And you, my dear,” he said to Rory, “I read _the New York Times_ every day –have done for years –you’re doing an excellent job.”

“Oh wow. I’m so glad you like it. I certainly love working there,” Rory said gratefully. “How are you settling in at NYU?”

“Very well –even just five weeks in. Come on, I’ll tell you both all about it as I finish cooking dinner. And Jess, I can talk writer’s workshops with you.”

“Sounds great,” Jess smiled, taking Rory’s hand, kissing her forehead and following Stan into the kitchen. “What’s for supper?”

“Spaghetti; it’s the only thing this hopeless bachelor knows how to cook. But I make _really good_ spaghetti. The sauce is a thing of beauty. The key is adding a pinch of cinnamon to it. It may sound weird, but it’s amazing, I promise.”

“It’s not any weirder than garlic with fried eggs and tomatoes,” Rory smiled, exchanging a laugh with Jess. “And that’s amazing too. I’m sure it’ll be great. It smells incredible.”

“Stan!” Jess said harshly when Rory went to the bathroom after dinner. “Lay off the engagement and marriage questions, would you?”

“Why?” Stan asked. “Have you chickened out? How long are you planning on carting that ring around for, anyway? You have to give it to her sometime.”

“I’m going to, you idiot –soon!”

“How soon?”

“Less than a month. But if you keep running your mouth about ‘how long I can string her along’ without proposing, she’s gonna know something’s up!”

“Huh. I guess I should start working on my toast then.”

“Yeah, that’d be good.”

“Do you think Rory could give me some pointers? She’s an _excellent_ writer,” Stan laughed.

“You’re really gunning for me to hit you with a closed fist, aren’t you?” Jess asked with narrowed eyes.

“You really are embracing your inner bully tonight, aren’t you?”

“Since my concussion in 2007 I’m prone to have an even shorter fuse than usual; you’re testing it.”

“My God, there was a time when you were _less_ hotheaded?”

“Yeah, I was a regular Matt Camden.”

Stan burst out laughing. “Did you really just make a 7th Heaven reference? Christ…”

“Liz used to watch it. I swear, the one good thing about getting on that bus to Stars Hollow was getting away from the preacher hour. If you knew Liz better, you’d understand how ironic it is that that’s the show she obsessed about. What’s your excuse? How do you know about it?”

“My sister,” Stan sighed.

“What are you guys talking about?” Rory asked when she reentered the kitchen.

“7th Heaven,” Jess said flatly.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Yeesh. Maybe I should go back to the bathroom.”

“No, stay,” Stan said. “We were just about to change the subject. Not a moment too soon, either. So, Jess, how would you like to come in and speak to my first year seminar kids about your writing workshops at Greater Fool? I’m sure a few of them would find it very interesting. God knows, there’s a few lost causes among them that I have no idea how they made it to university. They’d be right up your alley.”

“So you’re turfing your lost causes onto me? That’s so sweet,” Jess said sarcastically.

“Well, yeah. I guess I am, but that’s just a perk. Really –I can tell a few of them have something approximating real potential buried underneath all their hostility. Besides, if you talk to them, I can introduce you to my Dean and start hyping up your workshops around campus –who knows, you might have to turn people away! I’m sure mine isn’t the only band of misfits you can get access to.”

“Ignoring the subtle _they’re your problem now!_ subtext, yeah, actually, that sounds great.”

“Good,” Stan smiled. “I’ll set it up. Do you have some time next week?”

“I can make time.”

“So, Rory, what are the odds Obama’s going to run again?” Stan asked.

“Pretty good,” Rory said. “I’ve noticed a twinkle in his eye since before Christmas that’s very similar to the one I saw before his 2007 announcement.”

“But a ‘twinkle eye’ isn’t an official announcement –you can’t quote it –ostensibly, it means nothing.”

“You can describe a twinkle, as I once told my first boss in this business. Taken together with the previous twinkle he had in his eye and what came of _that_ , this twinkle means a lot. Mark my three, very simple words: Four. More. Years. Obama’s gonna go for it.”

“And if he does, would you follow his campaign again?”

“From my cushy office at the _Times_ , sure. I’d travel to cover things in D.C., but I’m really not interested in living out of a suitcase for two years. Following his campaign in 2007 and 2008 was amazing, I loved it. But I don’t really want to do it again. It can be someone else’s journalistic moment; I had mine. I’m good to cover him from here and travel to D.C. on occasion. I’ve basically been told that that’s what I’ll be doing anyway.

“Yeah, but what if they offered you the chance to follow his campaign again?”

“I’d say no thanks. I have a home that’s not a hotel, and I like it that way,” Rory answered, smiling at Jess.

“Hey, here’s a thought. One of my colleagues at NYU is running a fourth year seminar about politics and literature. One of the units she focuses on is contemporary literature published after Obama won the Presidency; she looks at how his presence in the Oval Office has changed the face of political literature published within the last four years.”

“Wow, that’s amazing. Does she really have enough material to –”

“More than you think. She also looks at how things have shifted, not just in what’s published, but in the mindset of contemporary political fiction writers –both in how they talk about contemporary times and the lens through which they examine the past.”

“That sounds _so_ interesting. Do you think she’d let me audit the class?” Rory asked with a giggle.

“I was gonna do you one better. How about I introduce you? I’m sure she’d agree that you’d make a perfect guest speaker. You’re a book nerd –so you read everything- and you’re a journalist who reported on the sidelines of history.”

“Wow,” Jess interjected. “Are you serious Stan?”

“Yeah,” Rory said breathlessly. “Are you _serious_? That would be –”

“You bet,” Stan smiled. “I’m having dinner with her this week. I’ll talk to her. Do you have a card I can give her?”

Rory dug in her purse and handed Stan a card.

“Perfect. She usually does the Obama unit last, to end the course so that it’s chronologically current. I would assume –if everything goes off- that she’d ask you to come in sometime in next month, or in early April. I’ll call you, let you know how the conversation goes.”

“That’s amazing! Thank you so much, Stan!”

“My pleasure.”

“Wait,” Jess said slowly. “Did you say you’re having dinner with this woman? Do you have a date, Famy? Are you in love?”

Now it was Stan’s turn –he rolled his eyes and smacked the back of Jess’ head.

Jess smiled smugly. “It _is_ a date!”

“I’m not in love, wanker.”

“But you do not deny that it is a date. You’re going on a date! Maybe she can broaden your culinary horizons –live dangerously.”

“Watch it,” Stan narrowed his eyes.

“No shame, Fam –you’re an attractive guy. If she can keep up with you, keep her. Marry her. Even if you had your heart set on dying alone, you may not have to! Take it from a reformed loner, quotidian life is much more interesting if you find the exact right person to share it with.”

“Jesus, why don’t you just kidnap me and force married life on me at gunpoint; get it over with.”

“It can be arranged, if you like.”

“No thank you. I fear that would be indecorous. Wouldn’t want to scare her off.”

“If you haven’t scared her off just by being you, nothing will,” Jess winked.

Stan hit him again.

“You’re catching up! Brava, Fam!”

“I think,” Rory laughed, “what Jess is saying underneath that biting sarcasm is good for you, Stan. That’s great.”

“Sure, yeah –what she said. That’s what I’m saying.”

“Thank you, _Rory_ ,” Stan smiled.

“Just make sure you give her Rory’s card before you strip her naked and have your way with her,” Jess winked.

Stan hit Jess in the head again.

Jess laughed. “And now, we’re officially even.”

* * *

Jess couldn’t sleep. When he was sure that Rory was out like a light, he crept out of the bedroom and retrieved his messenger bag from the back of the closet in the entry way.

Rory didn’t seem to notice that since they’d moved to New York, Jess never left his messenger bag out in the open –instead, he buried it in a back corner of the closet when he got home every day. He was very thankful that she was far too busy to notice such idiosyncratic patterns in his behaviour. She saw him leave with it and come home with it every day, only putting it away once he was done his take-home work. Evidently, that was enough to quell any suspicion she might have otherwise had.

This had become routine over the last week, since his conversation with Rory’s family –whenever he couldn’t sleep, he crept out of the bedroom, got his messenger bag out of the closet, turned on the entry light and sat on the floor. Silently, he would unlock the compartment in his bag where he kept the ring –another thing which Rory had miraculously failed to notice, thanks in part to Jess being on such high alert about it that his nerves were fried. This is what he did now, carefully pulling the ring box out of the bag and holding it in his palm. Sometimes he’d open the box, but other times, simply holding the cube was enough. Tonight, he decided to live dangerously and open it –making it harder to cover up should Rory awaken and venture out of the bedroom.

Jess sat under the dim light and looked at this beautiful ring he’d chosen, sparkling brightly, even when it was shrouded in shadow. The sapphires were mesmerizing; the diamonds twinkling in his periphery.

This was the worst part –waiting. He had a plan. He picked a day. He knew how he was going to ask. Ever since he’d worked out the details, the ring felt like a brick in his bag. A glowing homing beacon, taunting him more and more with every passing day. _Hurry up! You didn’t buy me so that I could stay hidden in this bag forever._

He’d been able to keep the secret for months –Jess was sure that Rory suspected nothing, even with Stan’s unashamed bating tonight. He was getting restless. Part of him wanted to wake her up and ask her right now, just to silence his nerves and put that small hint of uncertainty to rest.

Jess could pull off a big romantic gesture when the mood struck him. But he wasn’t planning anything with rose petals and soft candlelight. No public declaration –this was a moment meant for the two of them and no one else. No big rehearsed speech. He knew what he wanted to say –more or less- but he wasn’t treating it like a Shakespearean soliloquy. His proposal was going to be small, private and meaningful to no one else other than the person for whom it was intended. Rory.

As much as he knew he absolutely did not want to overdo it, Jess couldn’t simply wake Rory up and propose in the middle of the night. Asking her to marry him was a moment that deserved more respect, more care. In the moment, he was prepared to fly by the seat of his pants, but he wasn’t about to manufacture that pivotal moment just to calm his own nerves. No. Jess had a plan and he was going to stick to it. The ring would just have to keep teasing him for a little while longer, weighing his shoulder down more every day –thereby making sure that he never forgot what he had hidden in the depths of his unassuming messenger bag.

After about fifteen minutes, Jess forced his mind to stop swirling. He took one last, long look at the ring before closing the box slowly, taking care to make sure the springs didn’t snap shut with a loud clap. “Soon,” he whispered with a sigh, locking it safely in his bag and stashing it once more at the back of the closet.

Tiptoeing back into the bedroom, he burrowed under the covers and lay on his side, fitting himself against Rory’s back and wrapping his arm around her waist. Jess kissed her neck softly, careful not to wake her as his own eyes drifted closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies to all the bridge lovers out there. I can't stand it when their relationship gets boiled down to the bridge and I don't think, as adults, neither Rory or Jess (especially) would be so sentimental about a wooden boardwalk.


	69. Chapter 69

On Saturday, February twenty-fifth, 2012, Jess was awake long before the sun came up. He was restless; he knew it’d be hours before he could do anything, but he was content to hold Rory while she continued to sleep.

Shortly after ten, he slipped out of bed and went to the kitchen. After turning on the coffeemaker, he fished chocolate Pop Tarts out of the cupboard and stuck them in the toaster. He couldn’t understand how anyone could eat anything so sweet first thing after waking up; it was a wonder Rory hadn’t completely rotted her stomach.

Jess had found it ironically amusing when he discovered the week before that the traditional gift for the sixth anniversary was candy. It was a no brainer. He couldn’t abide straight-up, teeth decaying candy for breakfast, so he figured chocolate Pop Tarts were the next best thing. With the Pop Tarts toasting and coffee in the works, he slowly made his way to the front closet.

Jess’ hands were trembling as he unlocked the compartment in his messenger bag where he kept the ring. He screwed his eyes tightly shut and forced himself to take a few deep breaths, refusing to let himself go any farther until the shaking stopped. “This won’t work if your hands aren’t steady, Mariano. Unless you want to look like a first class buffoon, get a grip,” he whispered to himself angrily. He knew he didn’t have long before the smell of coffee roused Rory and sent her wandering into the kitchen.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, he made quick work of the lock, tossing it, along with the key on the floor in the closet. As soon as he opened the ring box, his sense of calm returned. “You can do this,” he muttered to himself.

Jess freed the ring from the small pillow and placed it carefully between the middle and ring fingers of his right hand, squeezing his digits together tightly and moving his hand around, making sure he had a good hold on it. He examined his hand carefully, checking that the ring wasn’t dreadfully obvious. It wouldn’t need to stay hidden long, but if Rory saw something sparkling between his fingers before he could get her situated with Pop Tarts and coffee, his plan would be ruined.

Jess made it back into the kitchen just as he heard Rory shuffling out of their bedroom. “Morning,” he smirked.

“You said we’d be spending all weekend in bed. Imagine my shock when I wake up at the crack of ten-thirty and you’re not there,” Rory pouted.

“I know, I’m sorry. Sit. It’ll be ready any second.”

“What’ll be ready?”

“Anniversary breakfast.”

“Coffee?”

“Strong enough to act as a fire accelerant. Promise.”

Just then, the Pop Tarts popped out of the toaster.

“Are those…. chocolate Pop Tarts?” Rory asked.

“They are,” Jess chuckled, his back to Rory as he got things ready.

“I thought we ran out last week?”

“We didn’t. I hid them.”

“Tyrant.”

“You love me.”

“Yeah, and you’re very lucky that I do.”

“Yes, I am.”

Jess put the plate of Pop Tarts down on the table and Rory immediately dove in as he returned to the counter to bring the coffee pot to the table.

“What’s with all this? You hate desserty breakfast food and now you’re serving it to me with a smile. What gives?”

“Well,” he said as he carefully poured coffee with his left hand, “it just so happens that the traditional gift to mark the sixth anniversary is candy. I love Red Vines as much as the next guy, but they’re hardly breakfast food. I figured chocolate themed breakfast food was the next best thing.”

“But –”

“I have Red Vines for later.”

“You’d better.”

Jess sat down and took a deep breath, angling his chair to face Rory. He took a sip of coffee to calm his nerves; when he realized just how strong it was, he put the mug right back down –no more coffee until that ring was on her finger.

“Are you okay? You look tired,” Rory said gently, reaching up to run her fingers through his short hair.

“Yeah, just didn’t sleep well,” he answered, leaning into her touch.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Yes, it’s all your fault,” Jess retorted, only semi-sarcastically.

“Thank you for this,” she smiled gratefully. “I love you, Jess.”

“I love you too, Rory. Happy anniversary.” Jess leaned in, rubbing his nose against Rory’s and kissing her slowly. He held her face as they both exhaled into the embrace. He felt her relax. When he felt her hand cradle his cheek and tug teasingly at his bearded chin, he knew her eyes were closed. As the intensity of the kiss ebbed, Jess slowly moved his right hand to tuck a strand of hair behind Rory’s ear as her eyes opened.

She leaned back slightly to smile at him and when she did, he let his fingers curve around her ear and follow the length of her hair; when he reached the end of the strand, his hand made a smooth loop back into her line of sight, holding the ring carefully between his thumb and pointer finger.

No sooner did Rory’s eyes focus than she realized what he was holding and they darted wildly, filling up with tears. Her cheeks flushed and she started to gasp. “Oh my God. Jess, what are you –? Where did you –? How did –?”

Jess smirked, in spite of his nerves. He’d always found her sexy when she was flustered –when the speed at which she could deliver even the most complex and rambling sentences couldn’t save her. It happened all the time when they were first together. It’d been ages since he’d seen her quite this taken aback.

“What is this? Jess –what are you doing?” she asked tearfully.

“This?” he gestured to the ring, turning his wrist slightly to let the blue sapphires and crystal clear diamonds catch the light. “It’s not a coin, that’s for sure. So, before your bewilderment turns into a withering stare for pulling this out from anywhere near your ear, I would like to make sure that is abundantly clear –this is not a coin; I am not disrespecting your direct order not to find a coin anywhere I wouldn’t naturally find one. Is that what you thought I was playing with that night? A coin? No! I was playing with something infinitely more valuable and you never let me finish! It was a disappearing act, but you never let me finish! I’ve been looking for this thing for almost ten years and lo and behold, it’s been exactly where you’ve never let me look!”

“Jess…”

“Just be thankful I didn’t pull it out of your nose.”

Rory let out a tiny sob of happiness; when the laugh escaped her lips, tears rolled down her cheeks. “Jess,” she smiled.

“Rory,” he said slowly, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I love you. I’ve loved you for as long as I’ve known you –who knows, maybe I even loved you before that. It took me a long time to –to be the man you needed me to be. By the time I was, you were –I wasn’t sure we’d ever get to be together in a way that didn’t end in pain. But then…

“Before you left Philadelphia after the weekend of Truncheon’s open house, I promised you that I was a better man –that you’d made me a better man; that I was done running from you; that I wanted you and me to work and I wasn’t going to screw it up again; that you were safe with me. We did it Rory –we stopped running and we made it work. I’m _so_ glad we did. You’ve made me happier than I ever believed I could be –happier than I ever thought I deserved to be. You’ve given more meaning to my life than I ever had the right to expect.

“Neither one of us is perfect, but we accept that, we understand it and we love each other anyway –our love is stronger for it. Our combined imperfections make us a perfect match for each other. I fill in the cracks in you and you fill in the cracks in me and together –we’re perfect.

“The last six years have been the most exhilarating, challenging, beautiful years of my life. You’re the only woman I’ve ever really loved and I also want you to be the last. I never cared about marriage –I didn’t believe in it until I saw you walking towards me at Luke and Lorelai’s wedding. That’s when I realized marriage means nothing, if the person you’re marrying is the wrong one.”

Rory cried uncontrollably for a moment as she remembered the rollercoaster of that day; how perfect it all was, before everything crashed and burned. They rose from those ashes against all odds –and Jess was right, their love was stronger for it. Rory remembered feeling the same thing about Jess as she walked towards him –suddenly realizing that she understood how much and in what way you had to love someone in order to have a marriage that lasted and made you happy.

Jess paused to let her take a deep breath, and he did the same. He wiped the tears from her eyes with his free hand before he continued. “I don’t believe in marriage Rory, not as a rule. I believe in you. I believe in us. I don’t care about being a husband. I want to be _your_ husband. I could never spend my life with anyone but you. So, here I am –if you’ll have me. I want to keep loving you, infuriating you, challenging you, for the rest of my life. As long as we live, I want you to be the only one who loves me, infuriates me, challenges me. Will you marry me?”

“What about our kids?” Rory asked quietly.

Jess was caught off-guard. “What?”

“Well, theoretically, our children will love you, challenge you and infuriate you too –provided they’re human.”

“True. But they won’t be born with the innate ability to be masters at such things. Someone will have to teach them _exactly_ what makes me tick.”

“Also true. Will you teach them how –?”

“To love you? I won’t need to. To challenge you? I can teach them the finer points. To infuriate you? I can teach them how to get a kick out of it,” he smirked. “Rory. Please. Marry me?”

Rory slowly focused her blue eyes, staring into Jess’ beautiful, deep, dark irises. She nodded. “Yes. I’ll marry you, Jess.”

“Yeah?” he smiled, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Good.” Jess laughed and took a hold of Rory’s left hand. He was relieved to find that not only did the ring fit perfectly, but it looked like it had always been there –like Rory’s finger was its true home.

“Oh, Jess. It’s –it’s beautiful –it’s perfect. I love it.”

“I really agree,” Jess whispered, staring at Rory. He moved both his hands to cradle her face and leaned into her.

“Oh! Wait!” Rory said suddenly, stiffening just as Jess’ lips brushed gently against hers.

“What is it?” Jess asked thickly, trying to keep his heart from dropping.

Rory smiled and pushed her chair back. She took Jess’ hands and knelt on the floor in front of him. “What about you? Will _you_ marry _me_?”

Jess laughed joyously, crying more as he did. “Oh, trying to show me up, are you? The _one_ thing I didn’t do.” Without letting go of her hands he leaned forward out of his chair and knelt down to meet her eyes. “Yes Rory. Of course I’ll marry you.”

“Okay. Good.”

“Can I kiss you now?”

“Yeah.”

The instant their lips met, everything fell away. They each swallowed the sobs that welled up in each other’s chests and tried to escape their mouths. Jess breathed Rory in and Rory drank Jess up as though he were her only life force. Their tongues, their breaths, their hearts, matched one another perfectly. Just like they always had, they fit together effortlessly, combining to form a strong whole which had long since thrived with the harmony they first found six years before. The embrace only broke when their legs stiffened and their knees groaned in protest.

“I guess we should get off the floor, huh?” Jess chuckled.

Rory nodded and gave him her hands.

They stood hugging each other for a long time, gripping each other so tightly that their arms trembled.

“I think the Pop Tarts and coffee are cold,” Rory giggled when they finally released each other.

“I’ll make more.”

“How many packages of Pop Tarts did you hide, exactly?”

“Enough to make more,” Jess winked. “So,” he sighed a few minutes later as they ate Pop Tarts and drank fresh coffee. “I guess this means we have a wedding to plan.”

“It seems that way, yes.”

“Any ideas?”

“Other than ‘soon’? Not really,” Rory smiled.

“Really? How soon?”

“Within the year.”

“ _Really_?”

“Yeah! I mean, come on. It doesn’t take that long to plan a wedding. I mean, yeah it does take time, but there’s no reason it should take longer than a year.”

“Don’t you wanna –what do they say? –bask in engagement for a while?”

“Jess. We’ve been together for six years and basically living together for three. How much basking time do we need?”

“Fair enough. Though I didn’t think that’d be how you’d look at it.”

“We’re not going to put on Cinderella’s ball, are we? We can _totally_ plan this and get married within the year. You know how I love to plan…”

“Yes I do,” Jess laughed. “But don’t you want –?”

“I have you. I want Mom, Luke, William, my grandparents, Liz, Lane –plus maybe a _very_ few others –though no one not included in my aforementioned list is a make or break deal –and whomever you want. All that plus some flowers, a few rings, you in a suit and me in a white dress and some amazing shoes and I’ve got everything I need. The rest is window dressing. What did you think I’d want?”

“I don’t know, I just –”

“Jess. We can throw a big party any time. Better yet, leave that to my grandma –she _loves_ throwing parties. This is about you and me. And _we_ don’t need much. This isn’t about the spectacle. It’s our _wedding_. Let my grandparents handle the party, in exchange for us making all the decisions about _our_ wedding day. Our wedding day should be about us. Don’t you agree?”

“So much so that I’m a little freaked out that you’ve been invading my brain.”

Rory laughed and kissed Jess’ cheek. “Let’s get married, Mariano –soon.”


	70. Chapter 70

“Your grandparents are _not_ gonna like our plan,” Jess sighed.

“I’m aware. That’s why –with the trade,” Rory answered.

“Ror, all of Stars Hollow is gonna hate the plan too.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m marrying _you_ then, isn’t it?”

Despite only having gotten engaged on Saturday, Jess and Rory had worked out what they wanted in a mere two days. They’d picked a date, _booked_ it and upon returning to work the next day, they’d both be putting in for a week of September the seventeenth off, so they could enjoy a short honeymoon right after the ceremony and be back at work the following Monday.

Jess and Rory sat together at the table on Monday, February twenty-seventh, ruminating over how _not_ to give Rory’s grandparents and everyone in Stars Hollow a mental breakdown when they heard about the plans for their unconventional, _extremely_ intimate wedding.

Lorelai, Liz and Luke were already aware of their plans and were fully sportive.

“Are you _sure_ this is what you want?” Jess asked

Rory smiled softly and cradled his cheek in her palm. “I already told you Jess –we don’t need much. If we invite one person from Stars Hollow, we invite them all –you know that. As soon as we do that, our wedding is no longer about us. Lane’s the only exception to that rule outside of Luke, my mom, William and Liz. That’s why my grandparents will host a party grand enough to satisfy the largest silver spoon desire they have and everyone in the town will be invited –after the fact. We’re not barring them from celebrating with us. We’re not even eloping; everyone already knows we got engaged this weekend –my mom and Luke and Liz told _everyone_ as soon as we called them on Saturday. I told you what I need. Are you going to tell me that I can’t have something on that extremely short list?”

“No.”

“Is what we’ve talked about in any way unsatisfactory in terms of what _you_ want?”

“No. I get to marry you. You know that’s all I need. As short as your list of demands is, mine’s even shorter,” Jess smirked. “I don’t care about pissing people off. If I ever did, we might never have gotten here. Truthfully, what we talked about sounds perfect to me.”

“Okay then.”

“Okay then.”

“Oh, one more thing that might help soften the blow with Grandma and Grandpa…”

“What is it?”

“Well. Aside from the wedding itself –there’s the fact that it basically costs no money…”

“Thus the basis of its appeal,” Jess laughed.

“I agree. But one thing that might help get my grandparents on side is if we let them fund the attire. It’s basically the only part of the wedding we’ll be dropping a large chunk of money on. So they’ll likely offer to bankroll it because it’s one of the only things _to_ bankroll, since we want to save all our money so that we can have an amazing –albeit short-lived- honeymoon.”

“But the party we’re going to let them throw –”

“Will be ridiculously expensive. But even still –they’ll argue that the party –even though it’ll have flowers, a wedding cake, a four or five course meal, dancing and speeches, ostensibly everything that makes a wedding reception a wedding reception- is not the wedding itself. Besides which, we asked Sookie to make our wedding cake –as much as Grandma likes Sookie and her cooking and baking, it’ll be a bitter pill because we’re taking a piece away from the one part of this that we’re leaving her in charge of.”

“So, allowing them to buy my suit and your dress, if they want to –”

“Oh, they’ll insist on it, once they hear that we’re planning an extremely frugal wedding and they understand that no amount of outrage or threatening from them –or Stars Hollow- will make us change that plan,” Rory explained.

“So, Emily buys your dress –”

“Probably my shoes too.”

“And your shoes. And Richard takes me suit shopping and that’ll help them get on board?” Jess asked.

“Yeah. You think I don’t know how much what we want for our wedding flies in the face of _everything_ they pride themselves on and define their lives by? Believe me, I know. I love my grandparents, Jess; I can fit into their world easily if I want to, but I don’t want to get _married_ in it.

“If we agree to let them go suit and dress shopping with us and pay for it when they offer to, then they won’t feel left out of the wedding day itself, they’ll be an integral part of it. They’ll feel included –way more than if we just let them throw the reception party, which will be at least a few weeks after we actually get married.”

“I guess that makes sense. Does that mean I have to let Richard choose the suit or tux that I wear?”

“No, you should pick what you want. Remember though, provided they do insist on doing this that price is no object. Pick exactly what you want with some input from my grandpa –he’s a pretty sharp dresser, after all, right? I mean, don’t test the limits of his purse strings just for kicks, but just –don’t let price scare you away from something you really like. These outfits will likely be pulling double duty for our wedding day and the reception party they throw later.”

“We’re going to be wearing haute couture for our little courthouse, weekday morning wedding, aren’t we?” Jess laughed.

Rory nodded with a smile. “Probably the most expensive dress and shoes and suit that a bride and her groom have ever worn in the history of courthouse weddings. But hey –at least we get to wear ‘em twice, right? We’ll be getting our money’s worth.”

Jess chuckled. “First of all, it’s not _our_ money’s worth we’ll be getting. And I know enough about your grandparents’ extravagant tastes by now that even when you account for getting to wear these outfits twice, they’ll still probably amount to what we spend on at least four months’ rent.”

“I know. But being able to buy our attire for us –it’ll make them feel included, Jess. We’re already set on and will not be dissuaded from a plan which we know they’ll hate…”

“No, I get it. We’ll let them bankroll the attire. But the rings, we’re choosing –and paying for ourselves.”

“Agreed.”

“Good. I have an appointment for us next week –the place I got your engagement ring in Philadelphia is a family run business –they have a location here in New York, run by the sister of the woman that was helping me with your engagement ring.”

“You made an appointment already?” Rory asked.

“Yeah! September eighteenth is just over six and a half months away, Rory. We gotta pick our rings and order them now.”

“This is the place where Daniel found Lydia’s ring, right? And where they got their wedding rings?”

“Yeah,” Jess nodded, “Lydia’s engagement ring and both their wedding bands came from Tina in Philadelphia, but it’s a family business and their only other store is here in Manhattan –so all their stock is the same. Tina’s told her sister Carol about us. She’ll have the perfect complimentary ring for your engagement band. Unless, I mean –do you want a wedding ring? If you don’t, that’s okay, I just thought it’d be nice…”

“I do want a wedding ring, Jess,” she assured him. “But I want to pay for it. My engagement ring must have been expensive enough…”

“No way. You’re not paying for your own wedding ring. How about we each pick what we want and you pay for mine and I pay for yours? Even though that’s hardly fair because my wedding ring will likely be less expensive than yours. But, it’s my final offer –we should pay for _each other’s_ rings –not our own. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“So, we probably need to tell your grandparents, pronto,” Jess sighed, “because I’m guessing six and a half months isn’t a lot of time to find and order a wedding dress, much less a _haute couture_ one.”

“We can call and tell them everything tonight,” Rory smiled. “Not to worry. We’re stubborn, just like them. It’ll be fine. Besides, with the fancy trade we’re offering them, they won’t have huge cause to complain –it’s not like we don’t want to celebrate and have a party with everyone. We just want to have a wedding day that’s ours and this is how we’re doing it. We’ll just remind them that the guest list is ultra-exclusive and they’re on it, so they should feel honoured –that despite how simple and intimate we want our wedding day to be, their presence is non-negotiable –it never was. They’ll take some small comfort in that –they might even be _moved_.”

“Wow, you really do know to manipulate a potential grandparental disaster into something positive –into something that sounds like it’ll actually work.”

“Well, I am a Gilmore after all. I’ve learned about manipulation from the best,” Rory winked. “Don’t worry Jess. We’ll get the wedding day that _we_ want. Now, we should nail our honeymoon down soon too.”

* * *

“It’s just so absurd! I’ve never even heard such a thing –a courthouse wedding on a _Tuesday_? In the _morning_? Barely seven months from now? That isn’t a wedding,” Emily said shrilly, talking to Lorelai a few days after Rory and Jess had called to discuss the decisions they’d made for their wedding day.

“Mom,” Lorelai sighed. “It’s what they want. It is a wedding –it’s just _very_ low-key, that’s all. They don’t want a big thing. We’re all going to have a nice dinner with them on their wedding day –it’ll be small, but nice.”

“Why don’t they just jet to Vegas and have an Elvis impersonator officiate at a drive-thru chapel…”

“Mom, stop. Rory and Jess are adults. This is their wedding. This is what they’ve decided they want. They _could_ secretly elope –they’re not. They could invite _no one_ –they haven’t done that either. I understand their desire to make sure their wedding day is about them and not everyone else. This is what _they_ want. And you’re invited! They’re even letting you throw a reception party!”

“Yes, they are –a month after the fact,” Emily huffed.

“It’s still a wedding Mom –it’s just very intimate –exclusive, if you will.”

“Lorelai! Why aren’t you more upset?”

“Because there’s nothing to be upset about, Mom. Rory is marrying the love of her life. If she’s happy, I’m happy. If this is what she and Jess want, I support that. Now, if they were actually eloping and I wasn’t invited, there’d be hell to pay –”

“Isn’t everyone in that town of yours upset that they aren’t invited?”

“Why do you care about that? –you _are_ invited,” Lorelai countered.

“I should think they’d be upset. Rory grew up there and she’s leaving them all out.”

“Sure, they might be a little upset, but she’s not leaving them out. Sookie’s going to make their wedding cake! That’s what the reception party is for –everyone’s invited to celebrate their marriage with them.”

“Sure, so your father and I are forced to open our doors to every character of Stars Hollow. I can hardly wait,” Emily said sarcastically.

“Mom, Rory loves Stars Hollow –this will always be her home. But she hasn’t lived here in years. Her relationship –and her life- are not defined by this place alone. Stop trying to make her the bad guy. This is what she and Jess want. Accept it,” Lorelai said sharply. “Didn’t she also tell you that you could go dress shopping with her?”

“Yes, she did.”

“And Dad’s gonna go suit shopping with Jess?”

“Yes he is.”

"They’re making an effort to include you and Dad, Mom. You should be happy. You’re allowed to disagree with what they want; but you’re not allowed to disrespect it. They’re adults. It’s their wedding. It’s their choice.”

* * *

“Hi, are you Carol?” Jess asked when he entered Jasmine’s Fine Jewelry with Rory the following week.

The woman behind the counter looked up and smiled. She had white curly hair and glasses hanging around her neck by a gold chain. “Yes, I am. How can I help you two today?”

“I’m Jess. This is my –fiancé- Rory,” he smiled at his use of this word in public –he still wasn’t used to it. Damn, it felt good. “I know your sister, Tina. She helped me settle on Rory’s engagement ring and –”

“Oh yes! Yes! Tina told me all about you both! How _are_ you?”

“We’re good,” Rory smiled.

“Here to look at wedding rings, I suppose?”

“Yeah,” Jess said.

“Well, you’re in the right place. Rory, may I see your engagement ring?”

Rory walked closer to the counter and put her left hand down on the glass. The sight of the ring on her own finger still caught her off-guard. She smiled; it really was perfect.

Carol gasped. “Oh, this is lovely! The blue sapphire baguettes are a wonderful detail. Are you pleased with it dear?” she asked Rory.

“Very.”

“I assume you want something simple, complimentary?”

Rory nodded.

“White gold then,” Carol nodded to herself. “Jess, are you okay with a white gold ring for yourself?”

“Yeah, of course,” Jess answered.

“Now, Rory,” Carol said. “Do you want something plain, or would you like a little sparkle?”

“I don’t really know, what do you think would be best?” Rory asked.

“Well, look here,” Carol said, pulling out a pillow filled with wedding bands. “Because your engagement ring is a band with two colours of stones –because the diamonds aren’t the showstoppers, if you want a wedding band with sparkle, I recommend something smaller and much more delicate than your engagement ring, with delicate diamonds to match. Like this,” she picked up an exceptionally thin eternity band, “we call this our diamond eternity whisper ring –it looks like nothing more than an exquisite thread of diamonds. The stones are micro-pavé set. You won’t find an eternity band more delicate than this. This will bring out the diamonds in your engagement band without stealing the spotlight. It’s quite durable too. We also have an option of the whisper ring with only half the band encircled in diamonds rather than the full eternity band. If you want sparkle, one of the whisper rings is the perfect complimentary piece –you wouldn’t want anything wider than your engagement ring it gets too chunky.”

Next, Carol showed Rory a simple white gold band in the same shape as her engagement ring. “If you want something plain, this works well, because it’s got the same rectangular edging. It’s very comfortable and durable. What do you think?”

“I like both of these. I think if I went with the sparkle, I’d want the eternity band,” Rory said.

“Well, try them both on; see what you like.”

Rory smiled at Carol, then at Jess before nervously easing the eternity band onto her finger, situating it above her engagement band. All three of them looked at it carefully before Rory took it off and slipped the plain band on in its place. “I don’t know,” she sighed, after a few minutes of staring, taking off the plain ring and setting it down.

“Here, may I?” Carol asked, taking Rory’s left hand gently. “Maybe the reason you’re having trouble picturing it is because most women choose wear their wedding bands _under_ their engagement ring. Even though your engagement ring is a more contemporary band, it may be that the placement of the wedding ring is what’s throwing you off. Let’s try switching them.” Carol slipped Rory’s ring off carefully and put the eternity band back on before putting Rory’s engagement ring on over top of it. “What do you think of how that looks?”

Rory was speechless.

Jess had crept up behind her and placed his hand on the small of her back. He was speechless too. “That’s it,” he whispered. “Isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Rory breathed, smiling. “I think it is.”

“Do you want to see how the plain one looks too?” Carol asked.

Rory looked at Jess.

“Don’t look at me,” he smirked. “Do you want to see the other one?”

Rory shook her head subtly, blinking her tears away.

“She’ll take the eternity band, Carol. When she’s speechless, it’s a sign that dare not be ignored.”

“But Jess,” Rory said quietly, “it’s too much.”

“You’ll be wearing it for the rest of your life, Rory. If this is what makes you happy –if this is the one that renders _you_ speechless- this is the ring you should have. Carol, will this break my bank?” Jess asked. “We’re buying each other’s rings.”

“I don’t think so,” Carol smiled. “It’s significantly less than what you would have paid for that engagement ring. Here,” she wrote down the ring’s price on a scrap of paper and showed it to him.

“She’ll take it,” he smiled.

“Perfect! We’ll work on sizing for both of you once you settle on your ring, Jess.”

“I want something comfortable, smooth, durable.”

“We can do that,” Carol grinned. She pulled out a pillow of men’s white gold wedding rings and picked one up to show him. “This one here is a high polish white gold with beveled edges and a rounded inside edge. It’s _very_ comfortable. Would you like to try it on?”

Jess took the ring from Carol and put it on his finger. The sight of his hand with a wedding ring on it hit him like a ton of bricks. He nodded silently, biting his lip to keep his chin from quivering.

Rory too was taken aback by the sight of Jess wearing a wedding ring. Somehow the sight of a man wearing a wedding ring made it more real –women wore rings all the time.

Rory saw this ring on Jess’ left ring finger and it all became very real in that instant –they were getting _married_. Jess was going to be her _husband_. “Is that it? Is that the one, Jess?”

“I think so,” he nodded.

“Wow –you two are the easiest wedding ring customers I think I’ve ever had,” Carol laughed.

“How much?” Rory asked her.

Carol wrote down the price and showed it to Rory.

“He’ll take it,” Rory smiled.

Carol took her time sizing Jess and Rory’s fingers and explained that the rings would be made to order; they should be ready to pick up in eight to twelve weeks.

* * *

“Rory, this is no time for –”

“For celebrating with my friends? I got engaged two weeks ago, Grandma.”

“Yes, you did. And you’re getting married in under seven months,” Emily said pointedly. “If I didn’t know better I’d think you were –”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence Grandma. Jess and I are going to Philadelphia this weekend. We haven’t seen any of the guys at Truncheon since we moved! If _that’s_ why you think we’re getting married so fast, then tell me this –why would I engineer a birth control failure six years into our relationship? If I wanted to get pregnant, why didn’t I do it a hell of a lot sooner than this? If I were pregnant, why _wouldn’t_ Jess and I elope in Vegas at an Elvis drive thru-chapel –a hell of a lot sooner than six and a half months from now? Yeah, I heard about that.

“Jess and I are getting married in six and a half months because we want to be married. We’re having a quiet, weekday wedding because we don’t want a big thing. We don’t want it to be out of control.

“We’re _not_ secretly eloping because we want the people we love the most to be there with us. Will I miss not having _everyone_ I love there? Maybe, yeah –Jess too. But that’s why we’re letting you and Grandpa throw a reception party for us. We _want_ to celebrate with everyone –but we want our wedding day to be about _us_. Not about pleasing you, or Grandpa or all of Stars Hollow –just us. Tell me, does Grandpa think I’m pregnant too?”

“Rory,” Emily sighed. She offered nothing more.

“I guess that’s a no. Do you still want to go dress shopping with me and Mom and Lane, Grandma? If you do, there are two conditions –number one, we’re going next weekend, not before and number two, you need to get over yourself and start trusting that I can make the decision that I believe is best for me –that Jess and I deserve the right to decide for ourselves the kind of wedding _we_ want, whether you agree with it or not. My wedding day is about me and it’s about Jess.

“We know that a lot of people are disappointed that we’re not making a big thing –or even a thing at all- about our wedding day. But they’re not accusing us of some seedy, shot-gun, cover-the-burgeoning-belly wedding because they know that’s not what we’re doing –if we were, we wouldn’t be waiting six damn months! That would be kind of pointless, wouldn’t it? I’m sorry my wedding day can’t be all about you, Grandma; the sooner you embrace my second condition and _get over yourself_ , the sooner you’ll realize that and the better off we’ll all be. I will not let your anger at me or your meanness in this moment ruin my wedding, Grandma.” Rory hung up the phone.

“Hey, hey,” Jess said soothingly when he walked into the room and saw how upset she was. “What’s the matter?”

“My grandma may have just insinuated that I’m pregnant and that’s why we’re getting married so fast.”

“If you were and that was the case, why would we wait almost seven months? Wouldn’t that kind of defeat the purpose of a shotgun wedding? That wouldn’t be very stealthy of us.”

“Apparently getting married fast because we love each other, we’ve already been together for six years and because we actually just want to be married without too much delay or fuss –thereby keeping the _wedding_ from getting in the way of or overshadowing our _marriage_ \- is not at all logic that she can follow.”

“She knows how long we’ve been together, right? Has she forgotten? Emily Gilmore logic does not resemble normal human logic,” Jess chuckled softly. When he saw Rory’s sad façade crack and she offered him a small smile, he breathed a little easier.

“Ror –she’s out of line. If I know your grandparents –and scarily enough, I think I do- she won’t be able to hide her outrage from your grandfather and when she tells him what she so shamelessly accused you of, Richard will force her to make nice so that we don’t uninvite her. And while you might be too nice to uninvite your own grandmother to your wedding –she knows the guy you’re marrying has no qualms about not being nice. Let her come to you; she will. Believe me. If she came around to _me_ , she’ll apologize to you. And her face will be all sorts of red when come September, you still fit into your size four dress –despite how much you eat,” Jess winked, kissing Rory’s forehead.

Jess’ instincts proved scary accurate when, at the same time he was comforting Rory and they were getting ready to hit the road for Philadelphia, Emily was recounting her conversation with Rory to Richard.

“She told me I needed to ‘get over myself’, can you believe her?” Emily asked with a haughty laugh.

“Yes, actually –I can,” Richard answered gravely.

“Richard –”

“Emily! Need I remind you how long she’s been with Jess? If she were pregnant, I agree it would be less than ideal, but it would hardly be the worst thing. He isn’t leaving her; he loves her, truly and wholly –you know that as well as I.

“They’re getting married because they love each other –you know as well as I do that she is not pregnant. Need I also remind you that after I had a fight with Rory nearly twelve years ago, you marched in here cool as a cucumber and told me to make things right with her, because Lorelai had gotten engaged without telling us and when Rory got engaged, you wanted her to tell us?”

If such a thing were possible, Emily went slightly pale at the recollection.

“Well, she has gotten engaged, Emily –to a wonderful man who has stayed with her despite our initial, very vocal disapproval. You and I both know and have known for years that Jess loves our granddaughter unconditionally –we’ve both witnessed it.

“So now, I will tell you –you _will_ make things right with her, Emily. You will apologize. You will accept the fact that while the exact execution of her wedding day doesn’t please you, it is what she wants and therefore what she should get –as I have. You have no right to accuse her of such incendiary motives or behaviour.

“You will apologize Emily, and realize that Rory and Jess are getting married with only a handful of the most important people in their lives as guests –not even everyone that’s most important to them, I’m sure- and we are lucky to be counted among that handful.

“But I also want you to know this –I do not believe that Rory is obliged to forgive you so easily. So help me, Emily –no matter how this mess shakes out, _I_ am _not_ missing my granddaughter’s wedding,” Richard said severely. “You make this right, Emily. Do you understand? And you’d better get on it, because as you so astutely and callously made clear to Rory –you don’t have a lot of time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone who's underwhelmed by their wedding plan, or thinks it's OOC, have a little faith. It'll be plenty weddingy, i promise!


	71. Chapter 71

“We were worried about him, you know, Rory. It’s a huge relief to finally see that ring on your finger,” Chris started saying.

Rory cocked her head. “You were _worried_? About _him_? I know proposing is stressful, but was it really that much of a nail biter?”

“You don’t understand,” Matt laughed. “He kept that thing under lock and key in that briefcase you got him. A few times, in the days before you moved, we caught him sitting in his office with only his desk lamp on, just staring at it. I half expected him to go full on Gollum on us.”

Jess punched Matt in the shoulder.

“Did you still do that when you got to New York? You probably did, right? Hell –I bet it got worse.”

In spite of himself, Jess felt his cheeks grow hot.

“ _My precious_ ,” Joe whispered. “Mariano, you have no idea how happy we are that you still have all your teeth and you haven’t become a bald, short, scabby hunchback.”

“Thank you so much for saying yes, Rory,” Andrew said dramatically.

“Wow, you guys really were worried, huh?” Rory asked.

“Why are you all _so_ shocked that I didn’t fail ignominiously?” Jess challenged.

“Uh oh,” Matt chuckled.

“He’s using fancy words,” Joe said gravely.

“We’re dead,” Chris nodded.

“Wait for it,” Andrew grinned. “Any second now, he’s going to smirk and say –”

“I really need better friends,” Jess said, right on cue.

“Oh, you mean like me, or my lovely wife?” Daniel asked with a smile, walking in with Lydia at exactly the right moment.

“Oh my God! What are you guys doing here?” Rory shrieked in surprise.

“We heard you guys got engaged and that there was a party. You wild Americans always did throw parties better than us,” Lydia laughed, embracing Rory.

“But you are American.”

“Yeah, but with the red hair and freckles, I don’t know why I bother.”

“You could be Pippi Longstocking!”

“Anne Shirley is a much worthier stereotype. Besides, how else would I explain this guy?” she asked, nodding towards Daniel.

“I’d happily be your horse,” Daniel grinned as he and Jess stepped apart from their hug.

“Nah. You don’t have polka dots, I’m screwed,” Lydia sighed. “Anne it is.”

“Hey Lydia,” Jess said happily, pulling her close. “Thanks for coming all this way.”

“We wouldn’t miss it,” she whispered.

“Daniel! I can’t believe you guys came,” Rory said as she embraced him.

“I needed proof,” Daniel laughed. “It’s taken him long enough –”

“I can hear you, Frenchie,” Jess said sharply.

“Yeah? I see the way you’re hugging my wife, you punk. But I wasn’t going to say boo about it. So, how’s about I ask to see Rory’s ring and you and Lydia can get back to your happy reunion?”

“Wow, you trust me that much? I’m not sure what to say…. Damn, I’ve lost my edge.”

“You? No, you look like as much trouble as you always did. I trust the redhead.”

“Now boys,” Rory laughed. “What in the world would you do if Lydia and I had the same colour hair? And also, as the woman marrying Trouble –hey!” she smacked Daniel.

“God help us, everyone,” Chris shook his head.

“Here,” Rory said, showing off her hand. “Everyone get a good look.”

“Wow,” was the hushed murmur that went through the room.

“You did good, man,” Daniel smiled.

“Seriously,” Matt concurred.

“It’s beautiful,” Lydia said.

“I say we raise a glass of bubbly to non-Gollum Jess and Rory! Everyone want?” Andrew asked. “I’m up!”

Lydia and Daniel exchanged a quick look. “Not me,” she declined politely.

“Aww, why?” Rory asked.

“They didn’t institute some weird prohibition up there, did they?” Jess teased. “Even if they did –you’re down south with the wacky partiers! Let’s get you seeing that star spangled banner, Anne Shirley!”

“Daniel can see twice the star spangled banners if he wants. Give him my share –he misses getting shmammered with you, Jess. I still can’t.”

“You –you can’t?”

Daniel sighed, blushing crimson. “I guess we should just tell them.”

“Tell us –what?” Rory asked slowly.

“We weren’t going to say anything. We didn’t want to steal your thunder,” Lydia smiled sadly, gazing between Rory and Jess. “I’m pregnant.”

Jess laughed and wrapped Lydia in another hug, lifting her off her feet. “No need to apologize with your eyes for that,” he whispered.

Rory hugged Daniel tight, blinking tears away. “This is amazing!”

“Thanks,” he whispered.

“Damn it man,” Jess said to Daniel with a chuckle, embracing him again, “you _do_ need to get shmammered.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Okay, boys! Drinks for everyone but Pippi!”

Lydia laughed. “But Jess, I just said I can’t be Pippi because –”

“Listen here, Anne girl –by the time your husband is through drinking, he’ll be seeing spots, which is close enough. By the end of the night, you’d better have starch for them pigtails, because you’ll be Pippi, alright.”

* * *

Jess and Rory returned from Philadelphia on Sunday to find Emily standing outside their apartment door.

“The security in this place is atrocious,” she said severely. “Someone just let me right in, without asking any questions before I even touched the buzzer pad. Really –I don’t even have a food delivery bag. This may as well be a crack den.”

“Nah, I’m pretty sure I lived in one of those many moons ago… I think, anyway. It was gross, even for me. This is the Taj Mahal,” Jess joked quietly. “Whoever let you in probably thought you were a harmless grandmother –if they only knew,” he smirked.

“Hello, Jess.”

“Good to see you Emily.”

“What are you doing here, Grandma?” Rory asked harshly.

“I came to talk to you,” Emily answered evenly.

“I’m not pregnant.”

“I know.”

“I have nothing to talk about.”

“Well, I suppose there is a first time for everything, isn’t there? I have something to talk to you about, Rory.”

“Fine. But I’m tired,” Rory sighed, “so make it quick.”

“Well, I think I’ll go around the corner and get some tea… let you ladies talk. Do you want me to bring you anything, Ror?” Jess asked.

“I’m okay, thanks.”

“How about you, Emily?”

“Thank you, Jess, but I don’t think I’ll be here that long,” Emily smiled stiffly.

“Sure. Well, if you change your mind –if either of you want anything, get Rory to call me.”

“Of course. Thank you.”

Jess kissed Rory’s forehead and held her gaze to make sure she was okay with him leaving the two of them alone. When she nodded subtly, he backed away slowly and looked at Emily again. “It really is good to see you. I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other again before long.”

“I hope so. Have a good night, Jess.”

When Jess was gone, Rory opened her door and went inside without inviting Emily in. When she realized her grandmother hadn’t followed her, she gave an exasperated sigh as she tossed her duffel bag in the corner. “Come on.”

“I feel bad, making Jess leave if he had luggage,” Emily said awkwardly.

“Did you see him carrying any?”

“No.”

“Then it’s safe to say he doesn’t have any luggage. We both packed in that duffel bag, Grandma.”

Emily looked shocked.

“We went to Philadelphia for two days –we didn’t relocate to Bosnia. We’re going to be husband and wife, Grandma –you think we can’t even manage to pack for a weekend away in one bag?”

“I’ve been married to your grandfather for over forty years –we’d never pack both our belongings in the same bag.”

“Well, me and Jess aren’t you and Grandpa, so.”

“No, evidently not.”

“Do you want to sit… or something?” Rory asked, annoyed.

“By the sound of that tone of yours, you’d rather I didn’t sit, it seems.”

“Grandma. You drove two hours to talk to me, which tells me that whatever you’re here to say, you didn’t want to say over the phone. Plus, your feet must be tired, standing in my _crack den_ of a hallway for God knows how long in those heels.”

“It wasn’t that long actually. No longer than fifteen minutes.”

“I’m glad for you. Really, I am. But you came here from Hartford, so the least I can let you do is sit somewhere comfortable while we talk.”

When Rory gestured to the couch, Emily sat down lightly on the edge. She looked down and smoothed her skirt, refusing to meet Rory’s eyes for a few seconds.

If Rory didn’t know any better, she could swear that her grandmother looked embarrassed –maybe even ashamed of how their conversation of a few days ago had gone. _Better late than never, I guess,_ she thought to herself. “So, what is it Grandma? Why’d you come all the way here?”

“Rory,” Emily sighed, finally looking her granddaughter in the eye. “I was wrong to have insinuated any ulterior motives for your wedding.”

“Yes, you were. We don’t have any ulterior motives. I know it’s not what you and Grandpa want me and Jess to want. I’m sorry that it bothers you so much. But we really are getting married so fast because we just want to be married. We really are doing a tiny courthouse wedding because we want it to be small, meaningful –for us. Did you know the reason we decided to do it on a Tuesday is because we can have more guests that way?”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Rory answered softly. “Courthouse weddings can happen any day of the week but Sunday, so there’s no need to adhere to the Saturday trope. In fact, Saturdays are more packed to the rafters than any other day –Fridays too. The chapels at the courthouse can accommodate up to twenty guests and we’re more likely to be able to do that on a weekday –in the morning- when it’s less crowded.”

“The Manhattan City Hall has actual chapels? That they use exclusively for weddings?” Emily questioned in surprise.

“Yeah. They’re beautiful little spaces, I promise. Trust me, Grandma, by doing this on a weekday morning –it’ll be more private and we don’t have to compromise on the handful of people who’re most important to us –you, Grandpa, Mom, Luke, baby brother William, Liz, Lane, Jess’ Master’s advisor Stan will be there too. I’ve even worked out a surprise with all of the guys at Truncheon, to make sure they’re involved in the day.

“It wouldn’t feel right to either of us, if we were to get married without those few who mean the most to us there to celebrate our marriage –right there, in the moment, on the day.

“By keeping it small we’re keeping it meaningful, Grandma. By doing it on a Tuesday morning, we won’t just be going to a courthouse to get legally married –we’ll be able to have a small, private, intimate _wedding_ with the people we love. And an amazing dinner in a private room at one of the best restaurants in Manhattan. I know it doesn’t seem like it to you, but this will be a _wedding_ Grandma. This is mine and Jess’ _wedding._ A real one. And it’ll feel like a real wedding too, I promise.”

“Of course it will dear. You will be the most beautiful bride anyone has ever seen,” Emily smiled. “You still want a wedding dress, don’t you? A real one?”

“Yeah I do. But I might not want a long one. But a wedding dress for sure –purchased from a bridal boutique.”

Emily grinned. “This is going to be my treat, dear. I really want to, please don’t try to dissuade me. I promise, I will not push anything on you that you don’t like.”

“Thank you Grandma. That’s incredibly generous,” Rory smiled, hugging Emily gently. “It means a lot to me –Jess too.”

“Your grandfather would like to gift Jess with whatever suit he settles on. He won’t do anything to pressure Jess to pick a suit he doesn’t like; but it would mean a great deal to your grandfather to be with him and gift him with whatever he has his heart set on. I hope Jess won’t find that presumptuous or –”

Rory laughed quietly. “He won’t. He’ll be touched and more than happy to have Grandpa be part of it. Honestly. Having you both be a part of this does mean a lot to both of us.”

“I know my behaviour of late might give off the exact opposite impression but –I’m so very happy for you Rory. Jess is your match. He loves you with all his heart and that is a beautiful thing to behold. Both your grandfather and I are so happy for the two of you. We know you’ll have a long, happy life together,” Emily said, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“Thank you Grandma, you have no idea how wonderful it is to hear you say that,” Rory said as she pulled Emily into another hug.

“Well, it doesn’t leave us much time to find your dream dress and breathtaking statement shoes –we _must_ find _everything_ next weekend. A veil too, if you find the perfect one. I hope Lane and your mother are ready for some serious shopping. This is going to be a marathon, not a sprint, young lady,” Emily laughed.

“Serious, marathon shopping? Lane and Mom were _born_ ready,” Rory assured her grandmother with a giggle. “ _Especially_ Mom.”

* * *

“Grandma, I looked this place up. We can’t shop here,” Rory said.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Why ever not?” Emily challenged.

“It’s too much. Monique Lhuillier? Oscar de la Renta? Jenny Packham? Inbal Dror? Marchesa? Carolina Herrera? Anne Barge? I don’t need a dress fit for a celebrity. These designers are amazing, but they’re way too expensive.”

“Price is no object, Rory. You deserve the best. Mark Ingram Atelier only deals in the best.”

“But Grandma, we don’t need to spend this much money on one dress.”

“What ‘we’? I’m paying for this Rory, and I say _we_ can. Especially since your entire wedding is so frugal, we can definitely spend money on your dress, since there’s little else to spend much money _on_.”

“Rory, your grandmother is offering to bankroll the most exquisite dress you’ll ever own, stop arguing. Her purse strings are _wide_ open –let’s see how deep her pockets _really_ are,” Lorelai whispered with a smile. “Since she’s doing this for you, you may as well milk it, right?”

“Your mom’s right, Rory,” Lane agreed. “Don’t let it bug you. Have fun! Find the perfect dress. All the better if it’s perfect and you love it and in any other circumstance you’d have to pass it by. The sky’s the limit!”

Rory giggled bashfully and linked arms with Lorelai and Lane as Emily led the way into the bridal shop.

* * *

A few blocks away, Luke felt like a bull in a china shop at Brooks Brothers. He sat to the side watching worlds collide as Richard spoke to Jess with great vigor about how invaluable a made-to-measure custom suit was and how every man needed at least one in his wardrobe.

“I didn’t know something as simple as buying a suit could be so complicated,” Jess sighed.

“It’s not simple Jess. It gets easier when you’ve cultivated your tastes, when you know what fits and you can navigate a sea of fabrics, colours and cuts,” Richard explained.

“I don’t think I’ll ever have need or want for enough custom-made suits to have cultivated tastes and an easier time navigating the ‘sea’, Richard,” Jess smirked.

“Fair enough, I suppose. But this is your wedding suit, Jess. You must have given some thought as to what you might like. Or now that your seeing options, you must be getting some ideas?”

“Yeah, I….”

“This is your suit, for your day Jess. Don’t hold back on what you want on my account. Whatever you like, we can work with. I’m not about to tell you that you can’t have what you want.”

“I’m thinking not black. Dark grey maybe? Charcoal? I’m not sure I want to wear a tie, either. I kinda hate them.”

“Alright,” Richard said slowly. “With a dapper enough suit, a tie doesn’t necessarily make or break the formality of it. We can compensate for the lack of a tie.”

“That’s what I was thinking. I’m good with a three-piece suit. I just don’t really want a tie. And I thought it’d be cool if maybe the lapels could be black. It’d look good against charcoal grey, right? –makes it a little more interesting?”

“You _have_ thought about this.”

Jess shrugged. “I wanna look like a –a groom, but I don’t want to look like _every other_ groom.”

“You will be Rory’s groom, which is much more important than looking like anyone’s groom,” Richard smiled. “Let’s get you a suit, Jess.”

* * *

Two hours later, Rory had found her dream dress. A couturier Inbal Dror creation with a tea length tulle skirt. Emily had given specific instructions to the consultant that Rory was not to see any price tags, lest the idea of an extravagant price keep her from the dress she loved. She also found a birdcage veil to complete the look.

Next, they were entering Jimmy Choo –a shorter dress demanded a statement shoe. Once again Emily made the stipulations of a sale very clear –her granddaughter was under no circumstances to be aware of the price.

The perfect shoes were indeed waiting for Rory at Jimmy Choo; when she tried them on, she instantly fell in love. It was their name that sealed the deal –the shoes Rory loved were called Lorelai. “No,” she gasped. “Really? You’re kidding. They can’t be called –”

The sales representative grinned and showed her the box, while keeping the dollar amount artfully hidden. They were indeed named Lorelai. Rory took it as a sign, a good omen and said yes to the shoes, even though she could only imagine how much they costed. They were blush metallic stilettos with an ankle strap and delicate flower appliques, adding just the right pop of colour and visual interest.

Lorelai was amazed that there was a shoe bearing her namesake –and such an exquisite shoe at that. Emily sighed and told the saleswoman to bring the shoe in Lorelai’s size too. By the time all was said and done, two pairs of Lorelai’s were rung up –blush for Rory; purple with multi-coloured flowers for the mother of the bride.

Rory texted Jess as they were leaving Jimmy Choo and told him he needed to find a blush or peach pocket square. _You’re not allowed to ask why_ , she teased. _Just do it._

_Yes ma’am,_ he replied. _I can sense the withering stare, even through the phone. Consider it done. Did you find a dress?_

_I found THE dress. It’s amazing. You won’t know what hit you._

_Good._

_Did you find a suit?_

_Yup. It’s very suave. I think you might go weak in the knees._

_We’ll catch each other then._

_Always.  
_

* * *

Before they knew it, it was the beginning of May. While Rory and Jess were out picking up their wedding rings, they had each missed phone calls.

Jess picked up a message from the Monhonk Mountain House Resort and Spa in New Paltz New York, near the Catskill Mountains. They were calling to confirm the email reservation made by Jess for their stay from September eighteenth to the twenty-third, promising that a honeymoon at Monhonk would be an unforgettable experience. Jess smiled as he hung up the phone. Everything was coming together –their wedding really was going to be all about them.

Rory had two voicemails. The first was from Lafayette Grand Café and Bakery, confirming their reservation of the private dining room for dinner on September eighteenth.

The second was from Christopher.

“Hey Rory, it’s Dad. I hope you and Jess are doing really well –things must be getting busy for you, with the wedding coming up,” he paused and let out a sigh. “Listen, honey –I hate to tell you this, I really do, but- I can’t get away from work for your wedding. I tried –believe me, I tried. But I have huge make-or-break meetings with international personnel and they just cannot be moved. If only you weren’t getting married on a Tuesday… I get why you’re doing it and I think it’s great, but –it makes it impossible to get away. This kills me, Ror, it really does. But listen, I _will_ be at the reception party at your grandparents’ in October, I promise. I’m so sorry, sweetie. Call when you can. Say hi to Jess for me. I love you, Rory. Bye.”

As Rory took her phone away from her ear, she felt tears well up in her eyes and cascade down her cheeks.

“Rory?” Jess questioned. He saw her tears and the way her phone trembled in her hand and he stopped dead, stepped directly in front of her and held her face in his hands. “What is it? What’s the matter?”

Rory tried to answer, but all she could do was cry.

Jess wrapped a strong arm around her shoulder and whisked her to their apartment quickly, supporting her weight as they walked. When they were in the privacy of their own home, he pulled her into a tight embrace and felt her go limp against him. “Shhh, Rory. Come on. You have to tell me what happened, or I’m gonna start freaking out here. What’s going on, sweet girl? Where did these tears come from, huh? You’re not getting cold feet, are you? If you are, I’m sure tons of people in Stars Hollow just lost a bet –they probably still have me pegged as the runner,” he quipped softly.

Rory focused her sad blue eyes on Jess’ face, etched with lines of concern and managed a weak smile. She shook her head softly. “No, nothing like that. It’s my dad –he, -he –” she couldn’t get the words out, so cued up the message and handed Jess her phone. “Here, just listen.”

Jess listened to the message without saying a word. As it progressed, his face fell. When it was done, he tossed Rory’s phone carefully on the coffee table. “I’m so sorry, Ror,” he whispered.

“I’m his daughter,” Rory cried. “I’m his daughter and I’m getting married and he’s not coming because he can’t leave work? I know we’re getting married on a Tuesday, but he had over five months’ notice –how is it so impossible to –?”

“It’s not impossible. If Lorelai, Luke, Liz, Stan and your grandfather can get out of work, Christopher can too. What he’s doing is –it’s a dick move, Rory. He’s decided it’s impossible because –it’s not impossible, he’s _decided_ it’s impossible. There’s a difference. And that only makes it worse, I know.”

“I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s not like he hasn’t pulled shit like this before. I mean, he missed my graduation for the same reason. I just thought –for our wedding –for his daughter’s wedding it’d be different; you know?”

“I know,” Jess nodded. “I know.”

“Anyway, I guess I should be happy that he’s coming to the reception party at least,” Rory said bitterly, “supposedly.”

“He’ll be there.”

“It doesn’t matter, really. Luke is more of a father to me than –” Rory faltered again. “I mean, I love my dad. I do, but –”

“I know you do.”

“Luke will be there.”

“Luke will be there.”

“So my dad can do whatever he likes –hurt me however he wants. I have Luke –someone who loves me the way a father should will be there.”

Jess nodded and swallowed hard. “I could say the same thing –the same thing goes for me. Good thing Luke has enough fatherly love to go around. William has no idea how lucky he is.”

“Not yet, but he will,” Rory smiled.

“Ror? We’re getting married – _soon._ ”

“Yeah, we are.”

“I love you, so much,” Jess whispered. “And our kids? They’ll never have to know what it is to grow up without a dad. I promise.”

“I know, Jess,” she answered. “I know. And I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lorelai shoes are a real thing by Jimmy Choo, btw. Don't look them up yet till I describe them fully in the wedding chapter!


	72. Chapter 72

“Honestly, Ror, it makes no difference to me,” Jess said softly.

“It doesn’t?” Rory asked.

“No. We’ll still be married just as legally and bindingly if you choose not to take my last name. Not having my name doesn’t mean we’re less married. Look –my mom was married like four times and she took the name of every loser she fell for; she still ended up with a shit ton of failed marriages, the fact that she took their name could never have saved anything –even though I’m sure she thought it could. You bearing the name Mariano does not a bullet proof marriage make –it doesn’t detract from the strength of the marriage either. We’ll be married –husband and wife, in the eyes of each other and the law and all the ways that matter- no matter what your name is.”

“I know.”

“I’m not trying to convince you _not_ to take my name, I just –I want you to decide based on what you want. I want you to do what’s right for you. No pressure, okay?”

“Okay,” she smiled, kissing Jess softly.

“But I do have a request,” he whispered, holding her gaze.

"What?”

“You’re Rory Gilmore. Your mom worked so hard to give you your life, to help you become the woman you are –your grandparents too. Rory Gilmore is who you are and I know that means something to you –you built a life and a reputation for yourself on that name. It ties you to the family that shaped you. Rory Gilmore is the woman I love. Rory Gilmore is going to be my wife –it’s who you are, it’s who I’m choosing to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t want to lose Rory Gilmore. Keep your name, no matter what you decide to do about mine.”

“I love you Jess. I promise, Rory Gilmore’s not going anywhere.”

About a month before the wedding, Rory told Jess over breakfast that when they got married, she was hyphenating her name; she’d be Rory Gilmore-Mariano. She smiled and kissed him gently before leaving the room to get ready for work.

Jess was surprised, though he didn’t know why. He smirked to himself as he finished his coffee, trying to contain how overwhelmed he was by something so simple. Rory didn’t offer any explanation as to why she made the decision she did; Jess didn’t ask, either.

* * *

A few weeks later, at the end of August, Jess’ phone was ringing off the hook in the wee hours. He looked at the clock. It was three forty-five on the morning of August thirtieth. “What the,” he muttered sleepily, grabbing his phone off the nightstand. When he saw the name on the caller ID, adrenaline shot through his veins. “Dani Boy? Is everything okay? What’s going on? Lydia, is she –?”

“We would have called you before, but her labour was quick –really quick. There was no time. It got super intense and I meant to call, but –”

“Daniel, is everything okay? Her and the baby –”

“It’s a boy, Jess. I have a son. Seven pounds, six ounces.”

“That’s amazing,” Jess laughed, nudging Rory gently. “Congratulations, Frenchie. How’s Lydia?”

“Good, resting.”

“I woke Rory up. I’m putting you on speaker.”

“Daniel?” Rory asked. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s perfect, Rory,” Daniel assured her. “Lydia and I have a son.”

She immediately started to cry. “Oh, that’s so amazing! It’s –congratulations Dan!”

“Thanks. Lydia told me to send her love. She’s asleep now and I don’t want to wake her.”

“No, no. Let her rest! Tell her we love her!”

“I will. He’s perfect. A ginger, too.”

“Your boy’s a ginger?” Jess chuckled. “Gingers are troublemakers. He’ll probably be a heartbreaker too. You and Lydia have your work cut out for you, man.”

“You say that like your kids will be saints,” Daniel shot back.

“Oh no. Our kids –God help me. They’d better take after Rory.”

“They’ll take after Jess,” Rory sighed.

“Hey –Jess, there’s something else I wanted to tell you. Why I woke you up at this crazy hour…”

“Sure, what’s up, man?” Jess answered.

“We picked a name. We’re going to send out birth announcements, but Lydia and I wanted to tell you first.”

“Okay…”

“His first name’s Henry, after Lydia’s dad. Coincidentally, my grandpa’s name is Henry too, so it works out for both sides.”

“That’s a good, strong name.”

“It’s perfect,” Rory agreed.

“His middle name,” Daniel said slowly, “is Jess. He’s Henry Jess.”

Rory and Jess looked at each other and felt the air escape their lungs.

“I’m –I’m sorry,” Jess stammered. “I’m sorry –did you just tell me that you named your kid after me?”

“Yeah, we did.”

“Are you and Lydia _sure_ about this?”

“Positive. He’s gonna need a cool uncle to teach him about life and help him navigate its nastiness. Someone to turn to when he gets in trouble and shit hits the fan and he’s scared to talk to his parents. Who better than you?”

“I can do that,” he whispered softly. “Dan –I can do that.”

“Good. I’ll text you some pictures now, but I gotta go –check on Lydia and hold my son. But, I –this sucks, but I don’t think we can make it to New York for your wedding. With a two-week-old baby it’d be –”

“Don’t even worry about it,” Rory cut him off. “We understand. And we love you.”

“We love you too, Rory. Both of you. Thank you for –well, everything –our lives.”

Rory cried quietly.

“Go be with your family,” Jess said.

“We’ll be at your reception party for sure,” Daniel assured them quickly. “We promise.”

“Go kiss that kid of yours, Dani Boy, and sit with your wife. Tell Henry he’s in for a hell of a ride. Him and Uncle Mess are gonna paint the town red,” Jess smiled.

“How do you know he’ll call you Mess?”

“It is, as it turns out, my unique cross to bear. A life full of disgruntled hoodlum hijinks and sticking it to authority has boiled down to me being surrounded by little kids calling me Mess. I will be Mess for the rest of my life. Eventually, I’m sure there’ll be a little girl or two in the mix, calling me Mess while serving me tea and making me wear a pink fuzzy tiara. God help me,” Jess said, rolling his eyes.

* * *

“Is this the last of it?” Jess asked, sliding the small duffel bag between the two suitcases in the back of Rory’s car.

“Yeah, I think so,” Rory answered. “We’re only going away for five days –we don’t exactly need much.”

“True. So how much do your grandparents hate that we’re driving to the Catskills right from dinner tomorrow? I felt a distinct chill blow through the room when it came up.”

“We’re getting married on a Tuesday at a courthouse –their discontent over us driving to our honeymoon directly from our reception dinner is small potatoes.”

“Fair enough. Still. Did they offer to pay for the night at some fancy hotel suite behind my back?”

“No, actually. If you weren’t leaving for the night and we weren’t adhering to the spending-the-night-before-the-wedding-apart rule, I’m sure there’d be hell to pay though. But they’re not happy that we’re doing our pictures together before the ceremony.”

“Of course they’re not,” Jess chuckled. “Does it bug you?”

“No. I like our plan. The myth of ‘bad luck’ has no power over us. What we’re doing is perfect for us. Plus, the first time we see each other tomorrow, it’ll be nice that the moment will just be –”

“Ours,” Jess said softly.

“Yeah,” Rory smiled. “Plus the photographer.”

“I won’t even notice her. Tomorrow, you’re the only woman in the world.”

“What about Lane? My grandma? My mom? Your mom?”

“All women –none of whom I’ll notice.”

“Still no word from the guys?”

“No. It’s weird. I mean, not being able to get a hold of one or two of them I understand –but all four of them?”

“I’m sorry. It must bug you that they can’t be there tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Jess sighed. “It does. But I get it. It’s a Tuesday. They can’t exactly close up shop.”

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck –that you won’t miss them.”

“I will –those guys are my brothers, but –”

“I know. That’s why I called them,” Rory giggled.

“You –what?”

“Look,” she took his shoulders and turned him around just in time for Jess to see a taxi pull up beside Rory’s car.

Andrew, Chris, Joe and Matt rushed out of the taxi and nearly tackled Jess off his feet.

“Surprise, Scrooge!” Chris yelled.

“Bet you didn’t think your fiancé would go all Mr. Big on you, huh?” Matt laughed.

“Did you just reference Sex and the City? The _movie_?” Jess asked, blinking hard.

“Fucking right I did.”

“Dude, where are your balls? Rumour has it you used to have a pretty good pair. If that’s all a lie, how have you managed to have a revolving door of beautiful women for all these years?”

“Where are yours, Mariano?” Joe countered. “Matt made the reference and you were aware enough to call him out on it.”

“He’s right,” Andrew chuckled. “You’re kinda defenseless there, man.”

“Alright, you got me,” Jess smiled. “But at least I have a woman to blame it on. Speaking of which,” he spun around to face Rory, “how long have you been plotting this?”

Rory shrugged innocently. “Luke has your suit and the rings. Go. Have fun. And boys! I do not want to marry a man battling a severe hangover tomorrow, capiche?”

“What about a little hangover?” Andrew asked.

Rory glared.

“So, what you really mean is _no_ hangover. Got it. Can he drink, or is that against the rules too?” Chris asked sarcastically.

“Guys, just don’t try and get me hammered,” Jess laughed.

“What he said,” Rory concurred

Jess pulled Rory tightly against him. “Thank you,” he whispered in her ear. “You’re too good to me.”

“You’re probably right. But I love you, so,” she smiled.

“Come on, you know you gotta suck face before we drag you away Jess,” Matt teased. “It’s tradition. You plant a wet one on your bride-to-be for just long enough to make onlookers uncomfortable and then we rip you two apart callously and cruelly. Get on with it.”

Jess held Rory’s face in his hands and leaned down slightly to catch her lips between his. He didn’t mess around, pushing his tongue into her mouth instantly.

The passion of the kiss came on so fast that Rory dug her nails into his back in surprise, quickly matching his eagerness so that they were engaged in a tantalizing push and pull; she caught Jess’ bottom lip between hers and tugged forcefully, while raking her fingers through his short hair, leaving a trail of fire along his scalp in their wake.

Jess groaned loudly into Rory’s mouth and dropped one of his hands down to her waist, wrapping his arm around her tightly and lifting her off her feet –pulling her even closer against him.

“Whoa, easy there, guys,” Joe laughed. “I know we said that making onlookers uncomfortable was in keeping with tradition, but there’s no need to embrace your inner porn star. On a street corner in the Upper East Side is hardly the place to go Triple-X.”

Jess and Rory pulled away slowly, ending the kiss sweetly and trying to slow their breathing without letting on to their friends how breathless their embrace had left them.

“I love you, Rory,” Jess smiled. “Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” Rory repeated wistfully. “I love you too Jess.”

“It’ll be here before you know it.”

“I know. It’s a little surreal, isn’t it?”

“It is. In the best way possible.”

“So, I guess I’ll see you at the –”

“I’ll be waiting. You know where you’ll find me,” Jess winked, before kissing her nose.

“Yeah,” Rory whispered. “I know where I’ll find you.”


	73. Chapter 73

_“What are you doing here?”_

_"Hello to you too.”_

_“Is everything okay?”_

_“You look nice.”_

_“Thank you. What are you doing here?”_

_“I moved back.”_

_“What?”_

_“I moved back.”_

_“But… wh –why?”_

_“Just… wanted to.”_

_His reason for moving back was standing before him in a teal dress, trying and failing to think with her head instead of her heart._

_Suddenly Rory moved forward –closing the distance between them in a single step. Her hands reached under his arms; she closed her eyes and brushed her lips against his._

_Jess tried to figure out if this was real. Rory’s kiss was soft, tentative, careful. She pulled away; Jess stepped forward as she stepped back, reaching up to hold her face between both his hands, deepening the kiss._

_Rory stepped back again; Jess tried to move his hands from her face to her waist but she leaned away. Her arms were still barely encircling him; he tried to hold her elbows and stroke her skin._

_“Oh my God,” she said in disbelief. “Oh my God,” she repeated as she turned her back on him._

_Jess shook his head and took a step forward. “Rory…”_

_Rory turned to face him again. “I have to go,” she said, before running off to return to Sookie’s wedding. Without stopping, she looked back at him, “Oh, welcome home!”_

_Whatever was happening between them had started long before that clandestine kiss in the shadows of Sookie’s wedding. But the moment their lips met and she ran away out of fear, embarrassment, shame –possibly all three- Jess knew. This thing was real; this girl had a hold on him._

_There’s a reason it’s called ‘falling’ in love –some people fall into it, others crash into it.  
_

* * *

“Aw, my little girl, look at you,” Lorelai sighed, fastening the zipper of Rory’s dress. “You’re beautiful.”

“Thanks,” Rory smiled.

“The dress is perfect, Rory,” Lane said.

“It is. Aren’t you glad I insisted that price be no object?” Emily asked with a self-satisfied smirk.

“Yes Grandma,” Rory laughed. “Thank you.”

“Now then, it’s time for your veil.”

“Oh no!”

“What is it, dear?”

“How’s it going to stay on? We bought the veil, but no clips! What are we going to do?”

“I have just the thing,” Emily assured her, walking over and showing Rory her palm. Inside her hand was a delicate comb, adorned with white and peach pearls. In her other hand, she held nine individual, thick bobby pins, each with a single white and peach pearl. “I had these made for you. The pearls came from one of my favourite headpieces. Once we found those stunning shoes, I knew I could have something made for you from my own collection and it would be a perfect match.”

Rory swallowed the lump in her throat. “It’s beautiful. These are your pearls? You had this made?”

“I did. These pearls are yours now, dear. But you can say you borrowed them,” she winked. Emily fastened the larger comb on the left side of Rory’s head, behind and above her ear. Three bobby pins fastened the birdcage veil to the comb, while the remaining six were used to secure it on the right side of her head.

Lorelai carefully pulled the veil over Rory’s face, positioning it just so. It ghosted only millimetres away from her skin and stopped two inches below her eyes and halfway down her nose. It was the perfect finishing touch to her meticulous, artfully unkempt up-do.

“Rory?” Liz said quietly. “I have something for you, sweetheart.”

“Liz, you didn’t have to.”

“I know. I wanted to. Here,” Liz handed Rory a small square box. “It’s from when Jess was a baby.”

Rory opened the box and saw a small handkerchief, with the initials _J.M._ sewn into the corner. She looked up at her soon-to-be mother-in-law in awe.

“I sewed his initials into it myself,” she smiled sheepishly.

“Liz –this is –thank you.”

“He’d probably just lose it and –I don’t mean this in a bad way- I’m not sure how much he cares about a keepsake handkerchief from when he was a baby. I thought you might like to have it; I know if it’s with you, it’s basically with him too.

“I told you when I first met you that you were the best thing to ever happen to my Jess. It’s still true; it’ll always be true. He’s so lucky to have found you, honey.”

Rory tucked the handkerchief carefully in her tiny clutch bag and embraced Liz in a loving hug, kissing her softly on the cheek. “Jess is a wonderful man,” she whispered. “I know you don’t think that has anything to do with you, but it does Liz. He loves you. He knows you did right by him as best you could. And I love you, too.”

“Rory!” Lane yelled suddenly. “It’s nine thirty!”

“Oh no! Go!”

“Is this it?” Lane asked, holding up the only wrapped gift she saw in the room.

“Yes! Go!”

“Gone! I’ll be back!”

“What on earth...” Emily mused.

“Jess’ gift,” Rory explained. “We’re meeting in half an hour, so she’s running it over.”

“That doesn’t leave her a lot of time.”

“Trust me, she spent a life sneaking around under the watchful gaze of Mrs. Kim, who makes you look tame. She has exact timing down to a science. She’ll be back.”

“Here, Rory,” Lorelai said, holding up the pearl necklace Luke had given her for her twenty-first birthday.

“Liz, this was your mom’s, wasn’t it?” Rory asked.

“Yeah, it was,” Liz nodded, blinking tears away. “I heard Luke gave it to you.”

“Would you like to do the honours then?”

“Sure. Yeah.” Liz walked over to Rory and stood behind her, carefully fastening the necklace’s clasp. “Perfect,” she smiled.

“Hey,” Lane said when she reappeared a few minutes later. “Jess looks _great_. He says he loves you and this,” she held up a gift bag, “is for you. Also, your grandpa’s outside. Can I tell him to come in?”

“Yeah,” Rory smiled.

“Oh my word,” Richard gasped when he entered the room. “You, my dear, are a vision. Look at you! Absolutely breathtaking. I love you, my darling granddaughter.”

“I love you too, Grandpa.”

“Jess is very excited to see you. And I swear on my Proust, he is in no way hungover.”

Rory laughed. “Good.”

“Now, before you open his gift, your mother and I have something for you.”

“You do?”

“We do,” Lorelai grinned.

Richard produced a small jewelry box.

“These are beautiful,” Rory whispered when she opened the lid.

Small garnet stud earrings surrounded by diamond halos glistened in the morning light as it streamed through the bedroom window. “I gave these to your mother on her fourteenth birthday,” Richard explained. “A gift befitting the young woman she was becoming. We talked it over a few weeks ago and we both decided that we wanted you to have them. It seems fitting that they go from one Gilmore girl to the next, hm?”

“Thank you so much,” she whispered tearfully.

“Let me?” Lorelai asked.

Once her earrings were secure, Rory sat down and carefully slipped into her Jimmy Choo Lorelais before standing up to look at herself in the full-length mirror. “Oh wow,” she said breathlessly, “I’m really a bride.” She exchanged a smile with her mother, in her matching –yet different- Lorelai shoes.

“Yeah, you are, sweetie,” Lorelai whispered.

“The most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen,” Lane smiled.

“Aw, Lane,” Rory laughed, “but _you were_ a bride.”

“Yeah I was –and before your mom saved me, my wedding dress had pants.”

“She is right, that is true,” Lorelai said.  
             
“Well, our granddaughter has never looked more stunning,” Richard smiled proudly.

“No, she never has, Richard,” Emily agreed emotionally.

“My Jess is a lucky man, Rory,” Liz said softly.

Rory sat down on the bed and took a few deep breaths. She was leaving to meet Jess in a matter of moments. All of the sudden she clued in –he’d given Lane a present to give to her. Rory spotted the gift bag on the floor by her feet and picked it up, trying to stop her hands from trembling. Wrapped delicately in several layers of tissue paper she found a first edition copy of _A Farewell to Arms_ , the Hemingway novel she’d found and read when she first arrived in Philadelphia six and a half years ago.

She knew from her own research into Hemingway’s career and Jess having explained its origins and inspirations to her, that _A Farewell to Arms_ was widely considered to be Hemingway’s most romantic novel. The character of Catherine Barkley was inspired by Agnes von Kurowsky –a nurse who cared for Hemingway at a hospital in Milan after he was injured working on Italian campaigns in the First World War; Hemingway fell in love with von Kurowsky and wanted to marry her, but their affair fizzled out when he returned to America.

Rory’s eyes filled with tears as she ran her hand delicately over the worn, weathered cover and spine. “This must’ve been so hard to find,” she whispered to herself. As she very carefully opened the novel to leaf through the pages and drink in the intoxicating and overwhelming scent of the antique book, she noticed an inscription on the first page:

_September 18 th, 2012._

_My Dearest Rory,_

_Hemingway once said, ‘to endure, one must last…’ You know Ernest only has lovely things to say about you. We have endured and we will last. We’ll have our struggles, I know. But even when things get hard, I will never stop loving you. I can’t wait to be your husband –for you to be my wife. We’ll have an amazing, challenging and beautiful life together. Technically, forever started six and a half years ago, but today it becomes official._

_Love always,_  
_Your Dodger_

* * *

Jess had assumed he’d be a nervous wreck, that he’d be overwhelmed by the enormity of marriage and all the responsibilities that come with it. But he wasn’t. He was jittery –because who wouldn’t be?- but there was no crushing anxiety; he was feeling overwhelmed by everything that was about to happen today, but not by what it meant for the rest of his life. He was almost eerily calm as he stepped out of the shower and walked to the bed, where his suit was carefully laid out and waiting for him.

“You are _way_ too calm,” Andrew observed. “It’s freaking me out.”

“Yeah, because I’m usually such a spaz,” Jess laughed. “I know I’ve got a temper, but I’m a pretty even keel guy.”

“Yeah, but you’re getting _married_ in like, an hour and a half,” Joe said.

“So, how should I be acting? Should I be wringing my wrists, needing you to talk me off some kind of ledge? Should it take all four of you, plus Luke, plus Richard, plus my not-quite-three-year-old cousin to keep me from pulling a Julia Roberts and escaping out a window?”

“No,” Matt chuckled. “But you have like, zero nervous energy.”

Jess shrugged. “Guess I’m not that nervous then.”

“If we told you seven years ago that you’d be getting married today and you’d be this calm about it, what would you’ve said?” Chris wondered.

“I’d have had some choice words that I’ll refrain from right now because there are young ears in the room,” he answered, winking at William, who was busy climbing the chair in the corner. William giggled and blinked both his eyes in response –he had yet to master the art of winking. “I wouldn’t have believed it,” Jess continued. “But that was then. I’m getting ready to marry literally the only woman in the world I _could_ ever marry. It’s Rory. I’m not nervous, because it’s Rory.”

“As the guy who called this, like eleven years ago, I’m just sorry I never put money on it,” Luke chuckled. “I’d be _so_ rich right now.”

“Yeah, you’d finally have money to franchise the diner like Richard wanted. You could have a thriving enterprise of multiple Luke’s all over the country, serving up coffee and burgers with a side of cynicism,” Jess smirked.

“You’re lucky Richard had to step out; I’d never hear the end of that if he were here.”

“I could repeat it when he gets back –”

“Don’t you dare.”

Jess took a deep breath before he started carefully taking the suit off the hanger and putting it on, piece by piece. Richard was right about one thing –a custom-made suit fit like a glove; it was the most comfortable suit Jess had ever worn. He left the collar of his white dress shirt open at the very top –he didn’t relish the idea of feeling like he was being strangled all day long.

Jess buttoned his vest carefully. Before he put on the jacket, Luke stopped him. “Wait, I have something for you. These were my dad’s,” he explained, holding two sterling silver cufflinks in his palm inscribed with the initials _W.D._ “My mom gave them to him. I thought you might like to wear them today –maybe even hang on to them.”

“Luke, I –”

“Here, let me,” Luke said, setting about the meticulous task of threading the cufflinks through Jess’ shirt and securing them properly. “There. Perfect.”

“These are beautiful. Thank you, Uncle Luke.”

“I’m very proud of you, Jess. Of everything you’ve done, of all that you’ve accomplished. You’ve turned into an amazing man.”

“Because of you,” Jess whispered.

“Maybe. But it wasn’t _just_ me –not all of it. It had to be in you all along. I just helped bring it out. I couldn’t have done that if you were a lost cause,” Luke winked. “The good man you are today was always there; it was always a part of you.”

“I guess,” he answered thickly.

Luke smirked and pulled his nephew into a tight hug.

There was a knock on the door. “Female requesting entry,” Lane called out. “I come bearing gifts!”

Jess instantly recognized Lane’s voice and sprinted across the room to get the door.

“Wow,” Lane said, eyeing him up and down. “You look _good_ … I beg you to never, ever tell Zach how that sounded,” she laughed.

Jess smirked. “Your secret dies with me. Hi Lane,” he said, inviting her in and giving her a hug.

“I can’t really stay. Rory wanted me to give you this,” she balanced the present in the palm of her hand and held it out to him.

Jess held up his finger and disappeared for a moment, returning with a small gift bag. “Trade you. This is for Rory. Tell her I love her and I’ll see her soon.”

“Will do! You’re strangely calm, my friend.”

“See?” Andrew laughed. “Told you!”

“Shut it, Andrew,” Jess said sarcastically.

“Rory’s very serene too,” Lane offered. “Like zero nervous energy.”

“ _See_?” Jess shot back at Andrew. “Told _you_!”

Andrew rolled his eyes.

“I’m glad Lane,” Jess smiled. “You’d better get going.”

“Gone,” Lane nodded. “See you soon!”

Jess sat down on the bed and let out a deep breath. For the first time, as he prepared to open Rory’s gift, he started to tremble. “Satisfied, fuckers?” he whispered to his friends dryly. “Witness me, nervous.”

“Yes,” Chris smiled.  
             
“Quite,” Matt winked.

“Now swallow your jitters and open the damn thing before you have to leave,” Joe laughed.

Jess closed his eyes to exhale a shaky breath before carefully slipping his finger into the edge of the wrapping paper, pulling it gently until the tape popped up. He managed to free the gift from the paper without ripping it. He set the paper aside and realized that he was looking at the back cover of a book –an old, possibly rare one. Turning it over in his hand, he gasped. It was a first edition of _Oliver Twist_. “How in the world did she find this?” he whispered to himself. Jess opened the book very delicately and found a simple inscription on the title page:

_September 18 th, 2012_

_To my Dodger on our wedding day. I promise to love you today and for all of my tomorrows. To a lifetime of love, friendship, support and borrowing books –to a lifetime of margin notes. It starts today._

_Your loving wife,_  
_Rory Gilmore-Mariano_

* * *

Jess wasn’t generally a nervous or fidgety person; he’d spent countless hours here, he knew this place like the back of his hand. But today wasn’t a normal day. So while Washington Square Park was a place he could normally always find his inner Zen –not so today. He paced the length of the bench where Rory had first appeared all those years ago in her Chilton uniform countless times waiting to see her come towards him now, a vision in white that could appear from any direction.

People must’ve thought he was insane. If Jess were an onlooker, he’d definitely find the sight of a guy in a tailor-made suit with a peach pocket square pacing the length of a bench in Washington Square Park at ten o’clock in the morning on a sunny Tuesday in September to be more than a little off. Just wait till Rory got here; then, it would either make sense to everyone looking on or convince people that they both belonged in a loony bin. _Good thing the photographer’s following her, I’m not sure I want to have this particular moment of anxiety caught on camera_ , he thought to himself.

He checked his watch. Ten-oh-five. “Where are you, Rory? Why did you choose today of all days _not_ to be perfectly punctual?” he whispered to himself in exasperation.

“I’m right here,” came a voice from behind him.

Jess spun around. His eyes couldn’t focus. He looked her up and down, from her head to her toes and back again. He wasn’t sure how or when it happened, but his cheeks were wet; he blinked and felt warmth streak down his skin.  He tasted salt in the corners of his mouth. _Am I crying_?

“You’re crying, Dodger,” Rory said softly.

Her voice sounded shaky too.

Rory had always been beautiful. First, she was a beautiful girl; then, she matured into a beautiful woman –a stunning woman. But now, Rory took Jess’ breath away –he literally had to remind himself to breathe and then remember how to do it.

Her dress was one that demanded to be worn by a gorgeous, confident woman. It was shockingly simple: soft silk chiffon, dipped into a rounded V-neck, hugging close to her curves; flowing out from the dress’ natural waist were several layers of thin, delicate silk tulle that stopped short about three or four inches above her ankle and moved with the slightest shift of the wind or her own body; the tulle was soft, the skirt had volume, but didn’t cross the line into shapeless poof –it actually _had_ shape; the dress had thin spaghetti straps, accented with soft, light, translucent silk tulle bows on the shoulders, with tails long enough to kiss the skin of her arms and dance in the breeze; a similar bow accented the gown’s waist.

Half her face was covered in a simple birdcage veil, covering her eyes and giving her a soft, seductive air; it was affixed to her head with an ornate white and peach pearl comb and matching bobby pins. Her hair was pulled away from her face in a perfectly and beautifully messy French twist, stray strands of her soft brown hair blowing with the direction of the wind.

Even her shoes were exquisite: a soft blush pink metallic leather with pointed toes and a thin strap around the ankle provided a perfect backdrop for an array of small metallic flower appliques in a range of pinks, peaches, pearls, bronzes and soft icy blues. The stiletto heels shone gold in the morning sun.

“Rory,” Jess whispered, reaching for her hands and clutching them like his life depended on it. “In all my life –I’ve never seen –you –I love you,” he tried to pull her to him, but her feet stayed planted. Her balance was downright impressive, considering the height of her stilettos and the grass underneath her feet.

“Wait,” she said softly, holding back tears. “Let me look at you, Jess.”

He smirked and inhaled through his nose before loosening his grip on her hands –but he’d be damned if he was going to let her go.

Rory felt her knees go weak as she unashamedly raked her eyes over him. Jess’ suit hugged his every curve –it seemed molded to his body. Charcoal grey was a perfect choice –very formal, but unique. The pop of contrast in the black, notch lapels gave it just the right amount of character, which was tied in by the same pop of black in the four buttons on his vest and the two buttons on his suit jacket.

He wore a crisp white dress shirt with an open collar and no tie. As per Rory’s request, there was a peach pocket square situated carefully into the slit in his jacket on the left side of his chest. He wore black leather dress shoes with thin laces.

He looked like Jess –not Jess being forced to wear a suit. Rory had seen him in suits before –for weddings, no less. But the way he carried himself now was different; he was totally relaxed and supremely comfortable in his own skin. He could’ve just as easily been wearing a concert tee underneath a relaxed suit jacket with jeans and Converse runners.

“Oh,” she breathed. “I love you.”

Suddenly, Rory’s weak knees buckled slightly. Jess stepped forward instinctively, gently guiding her hands around his waist as he wrapped his strong arms around her ribcage to bolster her up.

“Hi,” she said breathlessly.

“Hi,” he smirked. “Told you I’d catch you.”

“Good thing.”

“Yup. I also called you going weak in the knees, so it’s not like I wasn’t prepared. You’re beautiful, Rory. I’ve never seen anything so stunning.”

“You too, Jess.”

“Thanks. I try. So, do you think the photog back there has enough shots? I think we have somewhere to be.”

“Yeah, we do.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Let’s go get married, Gilmore.”

“That’ll be Gilmore-Mariano to you, within the hour Dodger.”

Jess placed a delicate kiss on Rory’s cheek. He slid his palm down her skin until he caught her hand in his. They arrived at Manhattan City Hall fifteen minutes later.

* * *

Manhattan City Hall was a beautiful old building with hand engravings in the exterior stone walls, detailing its history. Inside the Marriage Bureau were exquisite crown moldings with gold accents and sleek green and white swirled marble flooring. The hand carved, gold accented crown moldings and marble floor were in the chapels too.

Jess and Rory requested that all their guests be let in first –which no one at the Marriage Bureau objected, being that it was just past ten thirty in the morning and the place was otherwise empty. The two of them waited in a quiet corner shielded from view while their family and friends entered the chapel –every guest but one.

“You’re up Will, tell them we’re coming!” Jess exclaimed.

There was no ‘aisle’ so to speak, but Rory and Jess wanted to enter the chapel together and walk up to the officiant hand-in-hand, allowing little William the opportunity to announce their arrival, which he was _very_ excited about.

“I’m not looking, I promise,” Lorelai said, covering her eyes as she poked her head out the chapel door. “But Rory, every bride should have flowers, so here.”

Rory took the small bouquet of peach roses with lily of the valley. “Thanks Mom,” she said quietly, kissing Lorelai on the cheek. “They’re beautiful.”

Once Lorelai disappeared behind the chapel doors, Jess squatted down to be eye-to-eye with his cousin. “Okay, little rebel, you’re up. You know what to do?”

“Tell them you coming!” William answered with a smile.

“That’s right. But, tell them who’s coming?”

“Mess and Rowy, duh!”

“Yeah, that’s us,” Jess laughed.

“But do you remember what we told you are the special words you use for us today?” Rory asked her brother, stooping down to meet his eyes. “We’re Rory and Jess, you’re right. But remember we talked about how these are _very special_ dress clothes and the day we wear them, we have special words used about us. When a girl wears a white dress and has a veil covering her face and the man she’s with is in a fancy suit, they’re doing something very special. Do you remember what it is?”

“Getting mawwied?” William asked quietly.

“Yes that’s right! And on the day they get married, the man and the woman –me and Jess have very special names that are used with our normal names. Do you remember? The woman in the white dress is the –?”

“Bwide!”

“Yes! Very good memory. What about the man in the fancy suit who stays with the woman in the white dress all day long?”

“Gwoom!”

“Exactly. Perfect. High-five!”

“No high-five.”

“Why not?”

“You my sister. I hug you.”

Rory pulled William closer. “I love you, little brother.”

“Me love you too. And I love Mess.”

“Well then, I guess you should hug him too, so he doesn’t feel left out!”

William turned to Jess and hugged him without a word, stepping back quickly. “I tell them you coming now? I tell them the bwide and gwoom coming?”

“Yeah, little rebel. You can go in and tell them, but first…” Jess pulled a tiny black baseball cap out from behind his back, and situated it on his cousin’s head backwards. “Now you’re ready,” he winked. “You look just like your dad.”

“But Daddy not wearing a cap today,” William said, clearly confused.

“I know; he can’t wear one today.”

“How come Daddy not allowed today but I can?”

“Because you’re special –and way cuter than your dad,” Jess smiled. “Now go! Everyone’s waiting for you to tell them something _very_ important.”

Thankfully, the door to the chapel opened out, so Jess could hold it for William without being seen.

“They coming! They coming! Rowy and Mess are coming! They the gwoom and bwide! And they coming!” William announced excitedly as he ran through the small room and stopped by the podium at the front where the officiant was standing. “The bwide and gwoom be coming, Mister.”

The officiant, James Mitchell –also known as ‘that mustache guy’ and the most popular, well-loved wedding officiant at Manhattan City Hall smiled gratefully at the little boy in front of him, “Thank you so much for telling me!” he said excitedly. “I need them here to do my job, so I’m very glad they made it!”

“Mess! Rowy! I told them you coming,” William yelled loudly so that they could hear him. “They all know! The man said he has a job to do, he can’t if you not here, so he happy you here. You can come in now!”

Jess looked at Rory. He squeezed her hand. “You ready? Last chance to run.”

“No running. I’m ready,” Rory smiled.

“No running.”

They stepped forward together, each pulling one of the double doors open with their free hand. Rory was careful to open the door without wrecking her flowers. When Jess and Rory entered the small chapel, there was a collective quiet gasp among their small group of guests. They waited for the doors to still behind them before they walked slowly forward. Rory smiled tearfully at her mother and grandparents; Jess nodded to Luke and made eye contact with Stan, he caught sight of the Truncheon boys in his periphery. Just before stopping in front of the officiant, Rory handed her flowers to Lane and Jess snuck over to Liz to kiss her cheek. Once Jess returned to Rory’s side, he took her hand once more and they both smiled at the man in front of them.

“Good morning,” James smiled, first at Rory and Jess before extending his gaze to their friends and family. “Family and friends of Jess and Rory, you are here on this beautiful morning to witness the marriage of Jess Mariano and Lorelai ‘Rory’ Leigh Gilmore.” James looked straight at the couple before him. “Jess, Rory, is it your intention to enter into the bond of marriage?”

“Yes, it is,” they both answered.

“Do you come here today of your own free will, with a full understanding of the obligations and responsibilities inherent in a marriage union?”

“Yes, we do.”

“Do either of you know of any reason why you may not be married today?”

“No.”

James looked up once again to the small gathering of people behind the bride and groom. “Does anyone here know of any just cause why these two may not be lawfully wed on this day? If so, I invite you to speak it now, or forever hereafter hold your peace.”

A few beats of silence followed and both Rory and Jess looked back at everyone and laughed happily before locking gazes and seeing tears glistening in each other’s eyes.

“It is my understanding that the bride and groom have prepared a few words, which they would like to express to one another. At this time, I ask you both to turn and face each other. Rory, you may go first,” James told her.

Rory took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Jess squeezed her hands lovingly. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked nowhere but at him. “I never thought we’d get here, Jess –not at first. I don’t think anyone did. But we _are_ here. There’s no one else –even long before I knew it- there’s never been anyone for me but you. You love me just as I am. It’s not always easy, but we make it work because loving each other has never been a choice. We know that life is better with each other than without and when we finally figured that out, we never let go –and I’m so glad. You make me a better person; you make me stronger. Loving you and being loved by you has made me a better, stronger woman and I thank you for that. I promise to love you always –to spend the rest of my life loving you the way you’ve loved me. Through the good and the bad, the highs and lows, until we’re old and grey.

“I told you about a month ago that I’d be taking your name once we were married, but I never explained why. You once told me you wanted your name to mean something –you wanted Mariano to be a name people could respect and be proud of. You’ve worked hard and you –and you alone- have succeeded in transforming yourself and the name you carry. Your name means the world to me and it will be my honour to carry it for the rest of my life and pass it to our children. You are the best man I’ve ever known and I love you so much. I’m adding your name to mine because I’m proud to be with you; I want the world to know that I’m proud to be your wife.”

Jess smiled crookedly, once again in the position of having to force himself to breathe. “How am I supposed to follow that up?” he whispered.

“Well,” James grinned, “now is your chance to try. Go ahead, Jess.”

Jess took a deep breath of his own and squeezed Rory’s hands. “When I proposed to you, I told you I didn’t believe in marriage –I believed in you and I believed in us. So here we stand. You, Rory Gilmore, are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

“Luke taught me how to be a man and you taught me how to love like a man. You make me feel like a man –the kind of man I never thought I’d be, but the one you always believed I could be. I’m not proud of all the ways we’ve hurt each other in the past, but I am glad our road was a bumpy one. It forced us to fight for the person we love; and true love is worth fighting for –if you don’t feel the need to fight for it, what’s it really worth? We fought for our love and today, we get to bask in a reprieve. We made it. We’re gonna keep making it. I’m a stronger, better person with you by my side than I ever was alone. It’s what it is… you, me. I don’t know much, but I know this –our love will always win, Rory. Always.

“This is going to sound strange –but I hope today is the day that I love you the least. I want to love you more tomorrow than I do right now; more in ten years than I do tomorrow; more in twenty years than I do in ten. I want to look at you in fifty years and still be wondering how I got so lucky –and still have no answer to that question that makes any sense to me. I promise, right now, right here, to love you for all of my tomorrows, no matter what happens. Through good, bad, ugly –no matter what life has in store, you’ll never face it alone. When you slip, I’ll catch you; when you’re weak, I’ll carry you; when you’re scared, I’ll be brave; when you’re mad at me, I’ll probably deserve it. I know you’ll do all of those things for me. I stand here sure, in love and unafraid to promise you my life.”

“Well,” James said quietly. “I think you followed up just fine, Jess. Rory, do you agree?”

Rory nodded wordlessly, tears streaming down her cheeks. Jess released one of her hands and pulled out his pocket square and gently dabbed away the wetness from her skin before it tumbled off her jaw.

“My, you are marrying quite the gentleman, young lady.”

At this, Stan, Luke and the boys from Truncheon let out a low chuckle. “Sorry,” Luke said. “Continue.”

“Let’s get down to the official part of this official business, shall we? Who has the rings?”

Luke and Lorelai stepped forward, standing behind Jess and Rory respectively.

“Do you, Jess Mariano, take Lorelai Leigh Gilmore to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold in good times and bad, through sickness and health, all the days of your life?”

Jess smiled at Rory. “I do.”

“Do you, Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, take Jess Mariano to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold in good times and bad, through sickness and health, all the days of your life?”

“I do,” Rory said, without taking her eyes off Jess.

“Perfect! Survey says that is the exact correct answer! Now, Jess, please take Rory’s rings and place them on the ring finger of her left hand and repeat after me…”

Jess turned to take Rory’s rings from Luke. He stacked them so that the diamond wedding band was under her engagement ring. Just as he was about to turn and face Rory, Luke grabbed his wrist and hugged him tight. When he let him go, Jess could see tears brimming in his uncle’s eyes.

“May we continue?” James asked pleasantly.

Luke nodded.

“Jess, repeat after me: Rory, I give you this ring as a sign of my love and devotion. May you wear it always and remember the vows made here today.”

Jess slid the rings on Rory’s finger and rubbed his thumb across her wedding band. “Rory, I give you this ring as a sign of my love and devotion. May you wear it always and remember the vows we made here today.”

Rory shifted her weight to take Jess’ ring from Lorelai. Lorelai reached up and cupped Rory’s cheek in her palm before they both nodded tearfully.

“Rory, repeat after me: Jess, I give you this ring as a sign of my love and devotion. May you wear it always and remember the vows we made here today.”

Rory slipped the ring on Jess’ finger. The sight of it made her breath catch. She blinked hard and a single tear fell from her eye, landing on his ring. She looked up at him and struggled to get the words past the lump in her throat. “Jess… I give you this ring as a sign of my love and devotion. May –may you wear it always and remember the vows we made here today.”

“You both pass with flying colours! Now all that’s left to do is sign this very important piece of paper.” James turned their marriage licence towards them on a small rotating pedestal, pointing to where they and Luke and Lorelai needed to sign. “I do believe we’ve now accomplished everything the two of you came here to do,” he smiled when the signing was complete. “So now, it does me great pleasure to pronounce that you are –at long last, from what I understand- husband and wife. Jess, you may kiss your beautiful bride.”

Jess smiled and carefully moved Rory’s veil off her face. Holding her face in both his hands, Jess pressed his forehead against Rory’s. He stopped his lips from quivering by capturing hers. Rory reached up to hold his cheeks and they kissed quietly, lovingly, possessively. They’d kissed countless times before, but today everything felt new –every breath, every taste, every gentle sweep of the tongue. When their cries bubbled up in their throats and demanded to escape, they wiped each other’s tears.

“That’s the kind of kiss that should start every marriage. I’m honoured to present to you, their friends and family, for the first time as husband and wife, Jess Mariano and Rory Gilmore-Mariano.”

Rory and Jess’ small group of guests erupted into impressively loud cheers.

After spending some time with everyone outside the courthouse, posing for photos in endless combinations with their friends and family, Jess and Rory snuck off and went back to Washington Square Park. Neither of them had much to say other than hushed ‘I love you’s’ –nothing else seemed important.

After sitting together on that same bench for what seemed like a long time, Jess stood up and offered Rory his hand. “May I have this dance?” he asked with a smirk.

Rory stood and smiled. “Dance? We don’t have any music.”

“Yes we do. I know your grandmother’s going to make us dance at her party while everyone watches; but our first dance should be ours. I have just the song,” he said, pulling his iPod out of his pocket and putting one earbud in his ear and the other in Rory’s. With a few clicks, a soft, melancholy, hopeful tune rang out, the same one that offered Jess a sliver of hope so many years before when he drove through the night to fight for the woman he loved. He held Rory close as they started to dance in the sun.

_I'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl/Who's still around the morning after/We broke up a month ago and I grew up I didn't know/I'd be around the morning after/It's always been wait and see/A happy day and then you pay/And feel like shit the morning after/But now I feel changed around and instead falling down/I'm standing up the morning after/Situations get fucked up and turned around sooner or later/And I could be another fool or an exception to the rule/You tell me the morning after/Crooked spin can't come to rest/I'm damaged bad at best/She'll decide what she wants/I'll probably be the last to know/No one says until it shows and you see how it is/They want you or they don't/Say yes._

Jess smiled against the skin of Rory’s neck. She did say yes.

 A few hours later, everyone gathered in a quiet private dining room at Lafayette Grand Café and Bakery, decorated with soft romantic lighting and colourful flowers that popped off the dark mahogany furniture. There were tears, toasts, laughter and stories. The only one who didn’t speak up was Stan, who insisted upon saving his speech for the reception party. “I thrive under the watchful eye of a large audience,” he winked.

Jess and Rory were glad to be surrounded by only the people who mattered the most –aside from the absence of Daniel and Lydia, it was exactly the wedding day they’d set out to have. The day wasn’t passing them by without any time to enjoy it. They were in it. It was happening. This was their wedding day and they were savouring every second of it.

As the sky started to darken, Jess and Rory got in her car and literally drove off into the sunset. When they got to the Catskills, they would find that the day still had one surprise left.


	74. Chapter 74

“We just got married, who can you _possibly_ be texting?” Jess asked with a laugh as he drove.

“Paris,” Rory answered.

“Is she pissed that we didn’t invite her?”

“No. She’s coming to the party next month, so she’s not too… WHAT?! Oh my God!”

“What is it?”

“Her and Doyle…. they got married six months ago.”

“Wow –good fucking luck there, short little man.”

Rory laughed. “They snuck off to a courthouse too.”

“We didn’t sneak anywhere.”

“Exactly. She says they did a courthouse wedding the right way, with no one there but the judge.”

“There’s a _right way_ to do a courthouse wedding?”

“Apparently… and we did it wrong.”

Jess chuckled. “She’s still as lovely as ever. Congratulate her; tell her I wish Doyle the best of luck –God he’s a strange one. Tell her I’ll send her more hot sauce as a wedding present. And some Kerouac.”

“She says congratulations to us too. And she wants to have a word with you when she sees us next month.”

“A word? With me? And no one else?” Jess asked.

“That’s what she said. How good is the hot sauce you plan to send her?”

“I’ll find better stuff than what I already have,” he muttered with a smirk.

“Probably a good idea,” Rory smiled. “Okay. Phone is off. Sorry.”

Jess glanced over at Rory and smiled, taking her left hand and kissing it softly, running his finger over her rings. “Happy?” he asked quietly.

“As I’ve ever been,” she whispered back.

They arrived at Monhonk Mountain House late –it was past eleven. When Rory walked in in her wedding gown, there were hushed gasps and loving smiles. If anyone thought it was weird to see a bride and groom arriving late on a Tuesday night, no one let on such a thing.

“Reservation under Mariano?” Jess said to the woman behind the counter.

She smiled at them. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Rory said appreciatively.

“Ah yes, I see your name right here. Are you Jess, sir?”

“That’s me,” he nodded, showing her his driver’s licence.

“You and your wife are staying with us for five nights, correct?”

Jess smiled widely at hearing Rory be referred to as his wife. He looked over at her and she was biting her lip to supress a giggle. He kissed her forehead gently. “Yeah, that’s right.”

“Oh no, that’s not necessary sir,” she said when she saw Jess handing her his credit card.

“Oh, yeah, I guess you charge everything at checkout, right?”

“Normally, yes. But what I meant was, your credit card isn’t required at all. The Mountain View Suite has been paid for in full.”

“The Mountain View? No, that’s not right –we could never afford that. I booked a Victorian room. And I certainly didn’t pay for it before I got here.”

“Well someone did –or several someones, I should say. It seems they instructed us to upgrade your accommodations as well,” she smiled.

“What?” Rory asked. “But we looked at your prices. the Mountain View Suite is –”

“Our most luxurious and sought after suite.”

“Exactly. And nothing that we could ever afford.”

“Well, it seems some people made it happen for you, ma’am.”

“Who?” Rory and Jess both asked.

“Let me just see…. ah yes, here we go. As I said, several people chipped in and it seems they figured you’d demand to know who, so there’s a list of names here I’m supposed to read… Luke Danes, Lorelai Gilmore-Danes, Richard and Emily Gilmore, and Liz Danes.”

“They upgraded our suite?” Jess asked, shocked.

“Yes sir.”

“And paid for it?”

“In full, sir.”

Jess and Rory laughed quietly in disbelief.

“There’s also a note here that says you are not to call them. Just enjoy and you can thank them when you get home –it’s their wedding present,” she smiled. “So, unless you have any other concerns…”

Jess shook his head silently. “No. Thank you –thank you very much.”

“Certainly sir. Here are your keys. There’s a full list of our amenities in your suite. Anything you choose to indulge in here at Monhonk has been paid for by your family. If you have any questions, please call down or come by and let us know.”

“We will.”

“Take the elevator up to the ninth floor. The Mountain View is the third door on your left. Enjoy your stay; and congratulations again.”

“Thank you,” Jess and Rory said with a smile.

They declined any help with their bags; they didn’t have much. Jess balanced the duffel bag on top of his suitcase and pulled it behind him. Rory had the empty garment bags for her dress and Jess’ suit slung over her free arm. Jess rested his free hand on the small of Rory’s back as they walked.

Walking into the Mountain View Suite, Jess and Rory put their things down and looked around, their mouths open and silent in shock. The ceiling was easily thirty feet high. There was a winding staircase leading to a second floor with a Juliette balcony. The room opened expansively in front of them, showcasing a large circular space with a panoramic view of the mountains. They were staring at a full living room, with a wood-burning fireplace and a large couch. Next, their eyes fell to the spiral staircase leading upstairs.

“This place is…” Rory gasped.

“Yeah, no kidding,” Jess agreed. “Should we go see what treasures are hiding upstairs?”

Rory nodded silently.

Jess walked over to her and caught her lips in a deep kiss. When he felt her relax into him, he scooped her up into his arms.

Rory squealed into his mouth. “What are you doing?” she giggled.

“Well, I think I was supposed to carry you over the threshold or something. Sorry. I was too distracted by you and then this place –but mostly you. In order to avoid you trading me in for a better husband barely thirteen hours into this marriage deal, I figure I can make up for it by carrying you upstairs.”

“Say that again,” she whispered, touching her forehead to his.

“You say it.”

“Husband. You’re my husband, Jess.”

“And you’re my wife, Rory,” he whispered back, smiling crookedly. “Shall we?”

Rory nodded again.

Jess held her tightly against him and ascended the stairs slowly.

On the second floor, they found a large bathroom with a glass-enclosed shower, a soaker tub, his and hers sinks _and_ a separate dressing area. Following the hallway, they were led to a circular bedroom with a king size bed on an elevated platform. On the opposite side of the bed were more panoramic views and large French doors, leading out to a private balcony. Across from the foot of the bed was a custom-made curved shelving unit, boasting a fifty-inch flat screen television.

“Oh my God, can we move in?” Rory asked.

“Sure. We have to plan a perfect bank heist first though,” Jess chuckled.

“Well, we should get right on that then.”

“Don’t worry. I don’t plan on letting you leave this room for the whole time we’re here.”

“This particular room, or –”

“At first,” he teased. “Eventually I’m sure we’ll migrate to other areas.”

“Thank God we’re not out-doorsy people. What would you do if I told you I wanted to go for a hike, explore the grounds?” Rory asked with a laugh.

“Well, you’re not out-doorsy, so I don’t really have to worry about that, do I?”

“No.”

“If you were, I’d tell you I could think of much more interesting ways to burn calories and work up an appetite. You want to enjoy the beauty of where we are? That’s what the panoramic views and the balcony are for.”

Jess set Rory on her feet gently and wrapped his arms around her. As they kissed, he freed her hair of the pearl comb and bobby pins –she’d taken off her veil before dinner at Lafayette Grand Café and Bakery- setting them down on the nightstand without taking his mouth away from hers. He shrugged off his suit jacket and tossed it gently on the on the footstool at the end of the bed.

Rory started fumbling blindly with the buttons on his vest; it was hard to concentrate as Jess pulled her closer, his body stiffening and his tongue sweeping into her mouth and gliding against hers urgently. When the vest finally opened, she pushed it off his shoulders gently and Jess tossed it on top of his jacket. Rory only took her lips off Jess’ mouth when his shirt was completely unbuttoned; she laughed quietly as she took his right wrist in her hand and carefully unfastened his cufflink, setting it on the nightstand next to her pearls. When she moved to his left wrist, she stopped once the cufflink was in her hand. She took his hand gently in hers and brought his wedding ring to her lips, kissing it delicately.

Jess smiled lovingly. He kissed Rory softly and took the cufflink out of her palm, setting it down with the other one. As his lips moved against hers, he removed his shirt and moved his hands to the delicate spaghetti straps of her dress, moving them gently down, tracing kisses down either side of her neck and across each of her shoulders as they became bare.

Rory whimpered when he stepped back slightly, not wanting to be without his touch. Jess winked and stooped down in front of her without a word, carefully unbuckling her stilettos and slipping them off without releasing her gaze.

He stood up and took off his belt, allowing Rory to step closer and undo the button and fly of his pants. Jess stepped out of his shoes and pulled his socks off before pulling Rory tightly against him, inviting her to do the rest.

Undressing one another silently, slowly like this was extremely seductive and surprisingly romantic. There was no need to rush and they could savour each other this way.

When Rory curled her fingers around Jess’ pants and boxer briefs, she felt her stomach muscles release in that telltale way and she felt a flood of warmth overtake her. As Jess stepped free of his only remaining clothing, he yanked Rory close and kissed her wildly. She smiled against his lips when she remembered what he’d find under her dress.

After a second, Jess was able to regain his composure and pulled out of the kiss lingeringly and sweetly. He rubbed Rory’s bare shoulders and gently turned her back to him. He undid the zipper of her dress slowly; when it wouldn’t go down no further, he simply released his hand from it and let the wedding gown fall from her body on its own –the soft layers of silk tulle hitting the floor with a gentle _whoosh_ and nothing more.

Rory actually heard Jess’ breath catch behind her. She stepped out of the dress and stood next to the footstool but didn’t turn to face him –instead, she waited.

Jess seemed to catch the drift. He picked up her gown carefully and laid it flat on the footstool, before stepping up behind her and wrapping his strong arms around her back –which he was pleasant to discover was bare. He slid his warm hands down her sides, stopping when he reached the lace edging of her underwear. “So this is where your ‘something blue’ has been hiding all day, is it?” he breathed into her ear. “I’m impressed. I thought for a while it might just be your engagement ring, but I was _so_ hoping you’d prove more creative.”

“Lucky you,” Rory whispered. “So you’re pleased, then?”

Jess moaned wantonly against her neck, his sounds vibrating against her skin as he kissed it.

Rory leaned back into him and brought her hand up to his head, raking her fingers through his short hair. When his hands moved to her breasts and squeezed her nipples tightly, she sucked in a sharp breath and turned herself to face him.

Jess’ eyes immediately fell to her sex, which he could almost see perfectly clear through the lace cut-out flower pattern covering her intimate flesh. “Fuck me,” he whispered.

“That’s the plan,” Rory laughed.

“Oh, you’re sneaky,” he smirked. “You probably think you’re pretty witty too, huh?”

She nodded.

“I’m not laughing,” he said darkly, slipping his hand between her legs and laying his palm flat against her delicate skin. His grip was strong enough to make Rory’s knees buckle. Jess laughed quietly when he felt her buck against him, needing friction already; he enjoyed teasing her this way, separated from her by only a thin layer of satin, which was so damp with her arousal that it was supremely useless. Kissing her lightly, Jess moved the heel of his palm in gentle circles against her. “You’re not particularly attached to these, are you?”

Rory shook her head and bit her lip. Not one to be outdone, she reached down and took Jess in her hand, stroking him. “Why, do you wanna keep them?”

“Sure I do, if there’s anything left to keep,” he smirked, clutching the fabric between her legs in his fist and pulling them sharply. They tore easily, the sound echoing through the large, silent room.

Rory gasped, staring at him with wild eyes.

Jess inspected what was left of her underwear and grinned, pleased with himself. “I like the flower. I’m glad I didn’t wreck it. You know, I think I will keep these,” he confirmed, tossing them over to land atop his pile of clothes.

“You just –”

“Yup, I did.”

“But you’ve never –before, you’ve never –”

“Nope,” Jess whispered, wrapping his harms around her and pinning their bodies together. He was so close to her that she inhaled the breath he exhaled. He smiled at being able to hear and feel her heart thumping. “Have I made you speechless, Gilmore?”

Rory’s hand found its way to Jess’ head; she twisted his hair in her fingers. “Gilmore-Mariano,” she corrected. “I realize it’s a lot more syllables than before, but that is my name now.”

“Say it again.”

“Gilmore-Mariano.”

“That’s right –forevermore.”

“Why don’t you say it?”

“The verbal thing comes and goes. And hearing you say my name –knowing that my name is your name too- makes it go. As in gone.”

“You realize you could’ve said it about five times with the number of syllables in your explanation?”

“Again, I say –the verbal thing comes and goes. Hey, what’s your name, sweet girl?”

“Rory Gilmore-Mariano.”

He waited for one beat, then two, then three. “See? Gone,” Jess smiled crookedly before capturing Rory’s lips in a searing kiss.

This time, her knees gave out. He tightened his arms around her and lifted her off the ground, her feet hovering around his ankles while he walked the few steps over to the bed. But for passionate exclamations and hushed pleas, they were done with the verbal thing for now.

Jess set Rory on the bed gently, but his mouth and hands moving on her were anything but. She was hovering above him as he inched his way up the bed; he had to tighten his grip on her to stop her from sinking onto him before he was ready –before he was in control enough to last more than just a few thrusts. Giving her a small nod, she lowered herself onto him, taking him in slowly.

Rory moaned quietly and immediately started to move.

“Wait,” Jess breathed, holding her hips so tightly his arms were trembling. “Please just wait, Ror. You’re so perfect around me. I just need a second –I just want a second to feel you.”

“I know,” she whispered, holding his face in her hands. She leaned down and pressed their foreheads together. They stared into each other’s eyes wordlessly; dark balancing out light, light balancing out the dark. When Rory felt Jess harden within her and she saw him quake with the effort of keeping still, she kissed him deeply and started to move again.

Jess was happy to let Rory set the pace for now. While she rode him, he kissed every inch of her skin that his lips could reach –down her neck, in the hollow of her throat, across her stomach and up her sternum. He paused before taking a nipple into his mouth, smiling against her skin as he heard her cry out and felt it harden against his tongue and between his teeth. While one nipple hardened in his mouth, the other hardened against his unyielding touch.

Jess was hit with a wave of love as he realized that he was the only one who could make Rory feel what she was feeling right at this very moment. He was the only one she cried out for, the only one whom she begged to touch her –he was just as perfect, felt just as good against her and in her as she felt against him and surrounding him. And now, they truly belonged to each other.

Love gave way to animalistic pride. Jess moved his hands up Rory’s back and rotated his wrists so that he could grasp her shoulders, using them to pull her harder against him. Her legs fell open slightly from around his hips in response and he took advantage, arching her back until she was lying flat and he was hovering above her. Jess picked up his pace and deepened his thrusts. When Rory’s hips were lifting off the bed to meet him, he cocked a grin.

“You know what’s next, right?” he asked. He clenched his jaw as her body responded before she could formulate words to answer him and he was slipping in and out faster and easier than five seconds before.

“Please,” Rory begged, quivering with anticipation. “Please Jess, please.”

“So polite,” Jess panted. “But my name’s the only thing you need to say,” he smiled, leaning down to kiss her as his arms encircled her waist and held it tightly, keeping it raised off the bed.

Rory screamed into Jess’ mouth and bit his lip.

Jess released her lips and laughed against her forehead as he strained against the overwhelming desire to move –to bury himself inside her over and over. She was warm; she was wet; she was tight; and she was crying for him; she was his, and no one else’s.

“Please!” she screamed, heaving against him and fisting the sheets desperately.

“You have to let go,” he whispered breathlessly. “You, I can flip. Not you _and_ the sheets.”

Rory forced her trembling hands to release the sheets. “Jess, you have to, or I’m gonna –”

Rory stopped midsentence, cut off by the sudden loss of Jess and the sensation of being whirled from her back to her knees, his arms so close that she felt her skin graze against his.

“Sorry, I missed that… what’re you gonna do? If it’s what I think, you’d better wait, I’m not through with you yet,” he breathed, kissing her ear and pulling it gently between his teeth as he entered her again.

After only a minute or so, Jess felt sweat bead on his brow and streak down his face. If he wanted this to last past the next three seconds, he needed to change it up again. He grabbed Rory’s hips and leaned back, lying flat with Rory on top of him. She gasped as the change in position caused him to hit new sweet spots within her, but she adjusted quickly.

Staring at Rory’s back was no fun, even considering the pleasure surging through Jess that he could barely contain.

When Rory reached back for Jess’ hands to steady her, he held them tightly. Intertwining their fingers, he pulled her back. When he felt her weight on top of him, he rolled slightly, so they lay on their sides.

Jess rocked hard and fast –he was too close to control it anymore. He moved their still-entwined fingers down until they reached where their bodies were connected, both of them rubbing her gently and spreading their fingers on either side of Jess as he slid in and out of her. “Oh fuck Rory, you’re perfect. Do you know how much I love you? Do you? Oh, my sweet wife, I love you do much.”

That was it. Rory screamed and Jess held her forcefully against him; the feeling of Rory tightening around him being the thing that drove Jess over the edge, following her so hard that he involuntarily bit into her shoulder.

She yelped out in surprise and dissolved into giddy laughter.

“Jesus Christ,” Jess panted, kissing her shoulder gently. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Rory giggled, turning to face him, “but if you get pale and monotone and start sparkling in the sunlight…”

“Kill me. God, if you’re gonna turn me into a vampire, why not Spike? At least he’s cool and wicked in the sack. How the fuck did you go right to emo, virginal, stalker guy extraordinaire Edward Cullen?”

“Sorry. My brain must not be firing properly. I can’t imagine why…”

“Just so we’re clear –if I’m a vampire, I’m Spike.”

“Yes, you are,” Rory grinned seductively.

“Wow. Dirty much?” Jess teased.

“Hey, you picked the vampire with the phallic euphemism for a name, I’m just playing along.”

“Fair enough. Now on to a less obviously dirty word –wife. Who knew?”

“You did, apparently,” Rory smiled.

“Touché. Are you gonna start reacting that way when I say that word in public? Because that could be _super_ fun,” Jess winked.

“I think that’s a husband’s-eyes-only kind of reaction,” she answered, kissing him deeply.

Jess smiled when they pulled apart. “I’ve never loved anyone or anything more than I love you, Rory. Thank you for marrying me.”

“Well, thank _you_ for asking.”

“I mean it, Ror.”

“So do I, Jess.”

“So when people ask us how we enjoyed the Catskills, what exactly are we going to tell them?”

“The truth. That what we could see from the panoramic view offered by our palatial honeymoon suite as we ravaged each other for five days was breathtakingly beautiful. For the sake of my grandparents’ reception party though, I suggest we rehearse a version with less explicit implications.”

“Wow, you _are_ dirty,” Jess laughed lowly. “Yeah, not something to tell your grandparents and their very well-to-do inner circle. Not to mention all of Stars Hollow –including Ms. Kim, who would kill me before she locked you away for life in some kind of Korean Bible camp… then once you were safely exiled, she’d raise me from the dead so that she could kill me again.”

“But we’re married; we’re allowed,” Rory said.

“Yeah, but we’re not making babies; we’re just having naughty fun. We don’t even _want_ to make babies yet. Hence –dead,” Jess explained.

“Wow, you have Mrs. Kim pegged, big time. I’m impressed, considering the total lack of time you’ve spent with her in –ever.”

“She’s a hard one to forget, between the handful of times I’ve talked to her and the

stories I hear from you and Lane, it’s impossible _not_ to know how _severely_ she would kill me. We’ll work on a non-porny response to tell people –make a script if we must. We have time, it’ll be meticulous –they’ll never know what we were _really_ doing,” he assured her with a wink.  
             
“You don’t actually have something else you wanted to do while we’re here, do you?” Rory challenged him.

“Other than five straight days of romantic fucky-fucky fun, fucking my hot wife?  No. This place is _huge_. We have a lot of christening to do –the bathroom –the tub _and_ the shower- the dressing room, the living room and all associated surfaces, the stairs and if we’re feeling adventurous, the balcony. We rest and eat only when absolutely necessary.”

“I agree, fucking my sexy husband is what honeymoons were invented for. But what if I want you to take me somewhere nice –for dinner or something?”

Both of them broke out in glowing smiles when they heard themselves refer to one another as ‘my hot _wife_ ,’ and my ‘sexy _husband’._

“Oh, so marriage has cured you of your addiction to room service and delivery? How fantastic for me,” Jess answered sarcastically. “Fine, I’ll make you a deal –for every meal you want to eat out –not every time you want to wear clothes, only every time you want me to take you somewhere, thereby making us leave this lovely suite- I get to rip your underwear off. Literally.”

“Now who’s dirty?” she asked.

“Me. Since _always_. But you knew that.”

“I did. And I married you anyway.”

“That’s right, you did. Besides, are you really gonna tell me you didn’t enjoy feeling me rip those things off you?” Jess asked in a whisper, his breath hot on her skin as he pressed himself against her. “Unless you _need_ them for some reason…”

“I don’t. Just leave me one pair, to wear on the drive home so that I don’t end up hating my jeans. The rest are yours. Rip them, keep them,” Rory answered breathlessly.

“See, now we _have to_ go out. Game, set, match, Gilmore-Mariano. You win.”

Rory’s blue eyes darkened with desire and she let out an involuntary moan when she heard Jess say her married name.

He laughed wickedly. “Now you know how it feels. The verbal thing comes and goes, right? And it’s gone, isn’t it?”

She nodded, almost helplessly.

 “Can you say _anything_? I could at least cobble together a response to –”

“Fuck me. Please.”

“Again with the politeness,” Jess smirked, moving to hover over her and pin her where she lay. He lowered his lips to Rory’s ear tantalizingly. “It’ll take me less than five minutes to have you begging for all kinds of nasty things, sweet wife of mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there are two chapters left, which you now have to wait for... because they aren't written yet. I promise I'm a timely updater. It never took me longer than a few weeks to update! I have a super busy October starting next week and I want this novel done before my life explodes.
> 
> Also: I will be doing a story based on the revival, similar to this where I work with script to adjust canon. AND, Milo's new show "This Is Us" is a thing of beauty and I will be writing fic about it, when I have enough to work with.


	75. Chapter 75

A month after getting married, Jess and Rory were still in newlywed mode. Rory returned to work at the New York Times and Jess was greasing the wheel at Greater Fool, both grinning when their wedding rings caught the light. In some ways, nothing had changed but for Rory’s name and some new jewelry. But in other ways, everything was different –something in the air and atmosphere of their lives shifted and they settled into a new and blissful normal as Mr. and Mrs., getting enjoyment out of being able to call each other husband and wife that even those who knew them best couldn’t even begin to understand. Some of that was because of the fun they had in private, but aside from that it was the love they had, which they’d publicly proclaimed and wore on their left hands like a badge of honour.

Jackie, Tim and Cristina didn’t know Jess exceedingly well outside of the context of work –but they noticed a change in him.

The boys at Truncheon on the other hand, teased him mercilessly about how well domesticated married life agreed with him and how 2005 Jess would kick 2012 Jess’ ass in a bar fight any day. Of course, after a crack like that, they had to apologize right quick, lest Jess harness his inner hoodlum and drive to Philadelphia to beat them senseless.

Beyond their smartass remarks, Jess knew his friends were right –he was happier, calmer and more content than he’d even been in the six years he’d spent with Rory before he married her. It turned out that for all his shit disturbing ways and propensity towards stark antiestablishment, Jess took to the establishment and institution of marriage like a duck to water. When his loving wife reworded that adage and told him with a giggle that he took to marriage like a _swan_ to water, he made her pay –which is part of the reason why Rory made the joke.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously!”

“You’re excited?”

“Yes! Why is that so hard to believe?!”

“Jess, do you hear the words as they come out of your mouth? You’re telling me you’re excited for a fancy-pants wedding reception party being planned and hosted by _my grandparents_ –forgive me for being dubious.”

“I will have you know that your grandparents stopped wanting me dead a long time ago, Rory. They haven’t hated me in _years_ and stranger still, I haven’t hated them either. Besides, didn’t you tell me this trade was a key factor in getting them to embrace our no fuss, no muss wedding? Well,” Jess smirked, kissing her on cheek, “this is me, embracing the trade.”

“Who _are_ you?” Rory giggled.

“Your husband –who is _very_ excited to see you in your wedding gown again. Tell me, will your _entire_ outfit be the same?”

“Oh, there it is! So it’s not the party you’re excited for –”

“You misunderstand me. I’m very excited for this party –honestly I am. Your grandparents are great people and they’re going to give us the type of celebration we could never afford to put on ourselves. When it all gets too Stars Hollowy for me, I’ll commiserate with Luke or my Truncheon boys and leave most of the talking to you, of course. If you think being your husband has cured me of my urge to want to clock some of the people from that town you call home, you’re sadly mistaken.”

“Of course.”

Jess chuckled and held Rory’s cheek in his palm. “I love you. You’re my wife and your grandparents are giving us an excuse to celebrate that _twice_. I get to see you in your wedding gown again… how could I not be excited for that?”

Rory leaned into Jess touch and kissed his wrist. “I love you too Jess –so much.”

“Not regretting your decision to marry me?”

“No. Never.”

“So, are you going to answer my original question?”

“What?”

“Everything about your outfit, will it be the same as our wedding day?” Jess asked in a whisper.

“You’ll just have to wait and see,” Rory smiled coyly.

* * *

Jess and Rory were getting ready for their reception party, each of them ensconced in a bedroom at opposite ends of the second floor of Emily and Richard’s mansion.

Jess’ outfit was exactly the same as it was on their wedding day, right down to the cufflinks and the pocket square –Rory had given him the handkerchief from Liz to keep in one of his pockets and as he waited for his wife to emerge, he found himself tracing the initials his mother had shakily sewn into the corner of the fabric.

He couldn’t understand why he was so jittery –he knew what her wedding dress looked like, and what she looked like in it. This was not the same as waiting for her in Washington Square Park. It seemed that his heart had figured something out that his head could not, which was that it didn’t matter that he knew how stunning she’d look when that door opened –Jess could never be fully prepared for how beautiful his wife was in her wedding dress. Add on top of that the pride and love that was practically bursting out of him at the simple fact that Rory was his _wife_ , his –fully and forever. Nothing would come close. Even if she were to wear that gown every year on their anniversary until it either didn’t fit anymore or she was old and grey –which struck him as not a bad tradition to start, the two of them celebrating their wedding anniversaries in their wedding outfits- he’d still be _exactly_ this nervous, because nothing compared to the feelings that overwhelmed him when he saw her.

When Rory did step out of that bedroom and smile at him lovingly, Jess once again had the wind knocked out of him at the sight of her. The dress was the same –the same rounded V-neck that hugged her bodice in all the right ways, soft translucent silk tulle bows that kissed the skin of her arms, the same bow at the dress’ natural waist and delicate layers of more soft silk tulle giving the skirt a weightless feel, moving with every natural shift in Rory’s posture, creating soft _whooshing_ sounds –that only made the dress, and Rory- more alluring.

There were some differences between Rory’s bridal appearance now compared to their actual wedding day, but only minor ones. She decided to forego the veil completely for the party; her hair was still formal, pulled back in a more relaxed, half-up, half down style of an inverse ponytail, the hair in the ponytail having been looped through her hair above the elastic, creating chic twists on either side of her head. Secured to Rory’s scalp in the rounded concave created by the twisted loops was the peach and white pearl comb Emily had given to her on her wedding day.

On Rory’s feet were her mother’s Jimmy Choo Lorelais –they’d decided to switch for the evening. Dark metallic purple leather pointed toe stilettos with multi-coloured flower appliques in everything from red, to yellow, to rust orange and dark blue, with a three-inch heel that shone silver in the light. These Lorelais were _made_ for a party –they were a perfect shoe for a party. They added just the right amount of spunk to her otherwise modern-but-traditional wedding gown. The blush Lorelais were perfect for having a statement shoe on your wedding day, but for all their uniqueness, they were _safe_ in their beauty and character. The purple Lorelais were bold, unexpected, popping brilliantly against Rory’s white dress; these shoes said, _‘I’m the bride and I’m ready to party._ ’

“My God Rory,” Jess whispered, pulling her to him, “you’re gorgeous.”

Rory swallowed hard and hugged him tight. “I love you, Jess.”

Behind them, Luke and Lorelai looked on as they greeted each other. Luke went over to Lorelai’s side and squeezed her hand. “It’s almost like looking into a mirror, isn’t it?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Lorelai smiled. “Us Gilmore girls do have a weakness for diner men.”

“Jess isn’t a ‘diner man’. If he wasn’t so enraptured by Rory right now –if he’d heard you say that you’d be engaged in a screaming match of old.”

“My point is, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Whether it’s me tree, you apple and Jess is the tree to Rory’s apple or if I’m the tree to Rory’s apple and you’re Jess’ tree to his –”

“Good God, how can you talk a mile a minute without saying anything?” Luke teased.

“It’s a gift, which you _know_ you love me for,” Lorelai smiled. “Seriously Luke, do you think it’s a coincidence that you and I found our happiness and Rory and Jess ended up being perfect for each other, after everything they went through when they were growing up? Because I don’t. Gilmore women and Danes men are like coffee and Danishes –made for each other.”

“Did you just call me a pastry?”

“Well, do you _really_ think that you’re the coffee in this equation?” Lorelai asked with a smirk.

“No, of course not,” Luke rolled his eyes.

“Well then, dear husband, that makes you the Danish to my coffee.”

“What flavour?”

“Cherry. _Is_ there another flavour?”

“I’m gonna go with… no?”

“No.”

“I love you, crazy coffee lady,” Luke smiled, kissing his wife’s cheek.

“I love you, cherry Danish man named Danes.”

“Daddy’s a Danish?” William asked, appearing in front of them. “What’s a Danish?”

“A yummy, yummy food that I promise to let you try,” Lorelai laughed.

“Our son will not be inheriting your eating habits,” Luke sighed.

“You say that like you can force him to inherit yours.”

“Hey, Mess?” William said, poking Jess’ leg.

“Yeah, little rebel?” Jess answered, stooping down to meet his cousin’s eyes.

“I get to tell everyone again, right?”

“Yeah!”

William sighed. “You the bride and groom?”

“Remember –”

“Can I just say bride and groom? Your word be hard. Rowy your wife –that easy. But your word be hard.”

Jess chuckled.

“Don’t laugh at me! I not even thwee!”

“Aw, little rebel, I’d never laugh at you. I’m your sister’s husband. Can you say it with me?”

“Nuh-uh,” William shook his head. “Too hard!”

“Let’s make the one hard word two easy words, how about that?” Jess offered.

“I’ll try,” William said quietly.

“Good! Okay. Can you say ‘hus’?”

“But that not a word. Is it a word?”

“Just say it, bud. Let me hear you say it, come on.”

“Hus…”

“Perfect! Now say it like this… ‘huz’.”

“Huz…”

“Exactly. Now say ‘band’.”

“Band.”

“Yeah, good! Now can you put the two easy words together? ‘Huz-band.’ Come on, you can do it. Give it a try.”

“Huz-band,” William said slowly.

“You’re really good at this, little rebel,” Jess smiled. “Now can you say it faster?”

“Hu –huzband?”

“Yes! You win! That’s me! See, you _can_ say it!”

“What do I win?”

“Well…” Jess faltered and looked at Rory. He didn’t think William would ask what his prize was.

“Hey,” Rory grinned, kneeling in front of her brother. “Did you see that big cake downstairs?”

“Sookie made it,” William giggled. “Sookie makes da best cake.”

“Yeah, she does. How about when Jess and I cut it, we give you the first piece? How’s that? We’ll make sure it’s really big!”

“Yay!”

“But here’s the deal: Jess and I each have to have a bite first –just one- so we can make sure it’s _really_ good and then we’ll give you a piece before anyone else gets one. Deal?”

“Deal! Thank you, big sister!”

“No problem, little brother,” Rory said as she hugged William. “Are you ready to start the party? It can’t start until you say it does! Go, tell them we’re here and the party can start!”

Luke and Lorelai took William’s hands and walked him to the edge of the top of the stairs and told him to wait until they got to the bottom before he started the party.

“Hey rebel,” Jess whispered. “Who am I?”

“Rowy’s huzband. And she your wife.”

“We’ll make sure your piece of cake is really big!” Jess smiled.

“Hey everybody!” William yelled from the top of the stairs. “Hi!” he waved. “You here for party? The party for Mess and Rowy, cuz they be… be hu… huzband and wife now. They here and they huzband and wife, so we can party!” William giggled and ran down the stairs to Lorelai and Luke.

Jess and Rory squeezed each other’s hand before walking forward into the view of everyone waiting downstairs. When they appeared, everyone erupted into cheers. They kissed softly before walking slowly down the stairs.

“Aw honey, you’re beautiful, doll,” Babette smiled. “And Jess! So handsome!”

“You’ll have such beautiful children!” Miss Patty said. “I hope they get Jess’ crooked mouth,” she winked.

In spite of himself, Jess burst out laughing. “And on that note, it’s good to see you ladies,” he said before they moved on.

Rory saw Kirk and Taylor in the corner; Taylor appeared to be giving Kirk money. “Should we ask them what bet Taylor lost?”

“At some point, sure. I have a feeling the answer will be entertaining,” Jess chuckled.

Sookie was crying hysterically. “It’s because… because I’m so… so happy for you,” she said in heaving gasps, hugging them both until she’d all but squeezed all the oxygen from their lungs.

After hugging Lane and Zach, Jess and Rory turned around to see Mrs. Kim looking at them severely. “Remember what I told you, Rory. Boys don’t like funny girls. Was she funny Jess?”

“No ma’am. Never,” Jess answered seriously.

“If you’re lying, I still have my cricket bat.”

“Honestly. She never makes me laugh, ever.”

“Good,” Mrs. Kim nodded before disappearing.

“Aw Rory, I’m so happy for you,” Gypsy smiled before shooting a sideways glance at Jess. “He doesn’t still have that hunk of metal on four wheels does he?”

“I don’t own a car anymore, Gypsy,” Jess told her.

“Not that I didn’t appreciate the flat screen you bought me with what I charged you to repair that junk, but thank God!”

“I can still drive,” he laughed.

“Oh, well, I could use a new sound system. You bust up another one, you come to me!”

“But we live in New York Gypsy, you know that,” Rory laughed.

“I don’t care! Your car needs fixing, you find a way to get it to me!” Gypsy insisted.

Before either of them were forced to come up with a response, they were interrupted by the sound of clinking crystal. “Welcome, everyone,” Richard smiled. “My wife Emily and I are thrilled to have you all here to celebrate the marriage of our granddaughter Rory and her new husband Jess. They are a very handsome couple indeed. Their love for each other is unrivaled –”

Lorelai cut her father off by clearing her throat loudly.

“Except perhaps, by that of my daughter Lorelai and Jess’ uncle, Luke, as she so rudely would like me to point out.”

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!” Lorelai yelled excitedly. “He’s the cherry Danish to her coffee!”

“Yes,” Richard said awkwardly. “I’m sure I have no idea what that means. But, my daughter can explain her unique witticisms to us all later. For now, I’d like to invite Rory and Jess to enjoy their first dance as a married couple, to a song which they chose that has –coincidentally- always been a favourite of mine and Emily’s.”

“Second,” Jess interjected quietly. “It’s our second dance as husband and wife. We did have a dance on our wedding day. It was just us.”

“Right, of course. Well, this should be easy for you then. Just pretend none of us are here,” Emily smiled, inviting them to the center of the room.

Jess pulled Rory close as the music started to play, twirling her and swinging her to the gentle beat. They even sang the words to one another softly.

 _Wanting you the way I do/I only want to be with you/And I would go/To the ends of the earth/Cuz darling/To me, that’s what you’re worth/Where you lead, I will follow/Anywhere that you tell me to/If you need, you need me to be with you/I will follow, where you lead/If you’re out on the road/Feeling lonely, and so cold/All you have to do is call my name/And I’ll be there, on the next train/Where you lead, I will follow/Anywhere that you tell me to/If you need, you need me to be with you/I will follow, where you lead_ _/_ _I always wanted a real home, with flowers on the window sill/But if you want to live in New York City, honey, you know I will/I never thought I could get satisfaction from just one man/But if anyone can keep me happy, you’re the one who can_ _/_ _Where you lead, I will follow/Anywhere that you tell me to/If you need, you need me to be with you/I will follow, where you lead._

When Rory came to the lyric about one man being able to keep her satisfied, she whispered the words in Jess’ ear through her tears.

As the song ended, applause rang out once more. Jess and Rory stood hugging each other tightly, oblivious to everyone else in the room. They were jolted apart by a familiar –albeit unexpected- voice speaking softly into the microphone set up a few feet from where they were standing.

“Excuse me? Hi, hi everyone. Oh wow, there are a lot of you here.”

“Who is that?” Babette whispered to Miss Patty.

“I don’t know, but he’s delicious,” Miss Patty whispered back. “Lorelai, who is that honey?”

“He’s taken, ladies,” Lorelai laughed.

“Damn. Well, at least we can enjoy the view,” Babette sighed.

“Hi. None of you know me, so, don’t go crazy trying to figure out if you should remember me from somewhere and then feel bad that you don’t. Most of you have never seen me before. My name is Dan. Jess and I became friends five years ago when we were at school together and I met Rory not long after that.

“I’m happily married to the love of my life, we have a beautiful son together. I would never have met my wife if I hadn’t met Jess and then Rory. Jess made an impromptu speech at our wedding last year, so it seems only fair that I return the favour.

“Jess and I are kinda like oil and water. He’s sour and I’m sweet. He’s grumpy and I’m nice. Not long after we met he teased that he was going to take me –nice, apologetic, polite Canadian that I am- under his wing and teach me how to embrace asshole-dom. The thing is, he screwed up. Is he gruff? Yes. Does he have a short temper? Yeah. Does he take crap from anyone? Never. Do you absolutely want to avoid pissing him off at all costs? Yes, if you know what’s good for you.

“But for all his rough edges, I’ve never known Jess to be an asshole. He tells me I met him after he grew out of that phase, mostly, and that’s why. But something tells me, even back whenever he was the nastiest guy most people thought they’d ever met, that somewhere underneath that tough exterior a pretty decent guy was lying dormant, just waiting for his turn –”

“Damn it Frenchie, you’re ruining my rep! My mystique is shattered!” Jess cut in with a laugh.

“Sorry,” Daniel shrugged. “I’d lie to save your mystique if I could, but I’m a _terrible_ liar.”

“He really is,” Lydia shouted from the far corner of the room.

“Anyway,” Daniel continued. “I wasn’t left to wonder for long where the secret to his counterbalance was. When I met Rory and I saw the two of them together, I realized very quickly what true love looks like. And true love isn’t always nice. True love is painful; it can be exhausting. It’s true what they say –you hurt the ones you love. But the part that often gets left out is _why_. You hurt the ones you love because they love you and they’ll keep loving you, even when you hurt them or when love takes a lot of work. True love is worth all the pain, all the exhaustion, all the curveballs –if you’re with the right person.

“I’ve figured out why Jess never seemed as prickly to me as he always told me he was –why I still have yet to meet hopelessly-disgruntled-misanthrope Jess. By the time I met him, he not only _had_ Rory, and loved her –and she him- but they’d weathered storms. They’d dealt with disasters and clawed their way back up from the bottom, determined to fight for and keep their love alive.

“My wife Lydia and I were learning from masters about how to fall in love, fight for it, and win.

“Rory, you are Jess’ match in every way. He’s so much worse off without you –it really is a good thing you married him. I promise you, he loves you with every fiber of his being and he knows _exactly_ how lucky he is to have you.

“Jess, keep her happy, or she’ll kill you. Lydia and I love you both, so much. Cheers to you –may your life together be long, loving and strong,” Daniel smiled, raising his glass.

“Thank you, Dani Boy,” Jess whispered in his ear as they hugged.

Lydia came to Daniel’s side and hugged Rory tightly while the men took a moment to catch up before switching places with her husband to embrace Jess.

“Would it kill you to have an original thought, Gilmore?” Paris asked Rory a little later, rolling her eyes.

“My last name is Gilmore-Mariano, now,” Rory corrected her, eliciting a soft neck kiss from Jess.

“Whatever,” Paris sighed. “Get a room.”

“We will, but it’s too early for that yet, unfortunately,” Jess told her with a smirk.

“What did I do, Paris?” Rory asked.

“You can’t even get married without singing my tune!”

“Okay, first of all, you and Doyle are not the one and only couple in the history of the world to get married at a courthouse. Number two, I didn’t even know you’d gotten married at all until you texted me when I was on my way to my honeymoon. And number three, you were all pissy because you said we did the courthouse wedding _wrong_ , so what do you care if we did the same thing as you and Doyle if you did it right and Jess and I did it wrong?”

“Fine, I concede you _may_ have a point. But that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook.”

“For what?!”

“You know for what. Can I have a word with your husband, please?”

“He’s all yours,” Rory chuckled bitterly.

“Fantastic,” Jess muttered as Rory left them alone. “What’s up, Paris? I have more hot sauce for you, even better than the stuff I –”

“Save it,” Paris leaned in close. “I know you’ve married her, so you may not think I have license to say this, but I do.”

“Okay…”

“You hurt her and I’ll have you killed.”

“What, no warming up with an ass kicking first?” Jess joked.

“I don’t need any practice runs, thank you very much. I’ll let everyone else here butter you up for me. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean it’s all the sudden impossible for you to do her harm and if you do, I’ll have you killed. I like you, Jess, which is pretty remarkable because I’m not the most _feeling_ person in the world.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“The point is –I don’t want to have to kill you, you understand?”

“I understand. You won’t need to kill me.”

“I hope not,” Paris sighed. “I also want to make sure you are not disillusioned in any way –you married above your station, Jess.”

“I know,” Jess said quietly. “But for some reason that I’ll never fully understand, _I_ make her happy.”

“As long as you know, without any uncertainty that you’ve got the gold standard as far as wives go and you married _way_ above your station…”

“Trust me, I do.”

“Then do yourself a favour and don’t give her a reason to notice. _Ever_.”

“I promise,” Jess smiled.

“Why are you smiling?” Paris asked sharply.

“I’ve recently wedded the love of my life, which increases my propensity towards outward displays of happiness,” he explained dryly.

“Ugh. I’m glad I didn’t drink _that_ Kool-Aid.”

“Congratulations, Paris.”

“What?”

“You’re a newlywed too. Congratulations. Doyle must be _so_ happy with his choice of wife.”

“You’re weirder than I remember,” she said, leaning away from him slightly.

“So are you, Paris. I hardly thought such a thing were possible –but so are you.”

“Excuse me! Hi, everybody…”

Jess turned around and saw Stan at the microphone. He should have been scared of the type of speech his wonderfully unique Master’s advisor was about to give, but really, he was just thankful that someone broke up his love fest with Paris.

“My name is Stan. Jess wandered into my life just over two years ago, some sharp-witted, crooked-mouthed wisecracker looking for a Master’s Degree. One of the requirements for a Master’s in English was to study a foreign language in undergrad, and Jess here chose Latin. I asked him if he had an affinity for dead things, being that he’d chosen to study a language that had long since been buried six feet under.

“He cocked a smarmy grin and told me that even though Latin is dead, it’s the basis for modern language as we know it. Jess labelled himself as a lover of literature and he very astutely told me that to be a true lover of literature one had to first be a lover of language. For the first time, I was bested by someone who might very well be as intelligent as I am –and he’s _so_ much fun to argue with.

“And then, I met Rory. Not only did Jess’ new wife best me in a verbal sparring match –she actually left me speechless. That hasn’t happened since I was a kid. I’m not a romantic, not in the least. But Jess and Rory have managed to turn this old cynic into a believer, at least as far as the two of them are concerned. After I met Jess I was sure I’d never cross paths with another person I could care so deeply for –”

“I love you too, Famy!” Jess yelled.

“Shut up, or I’ll slap you so hard, your mouth won’t be crooked anymore, Mariano.”

“I like him,” Luke laughed.

“Yes Jess,” Stan sighed. “I admit, you melted this Grinch’s heart just a bit, okay? You’re like me, but twenty years younger and as good looking as I always liked to believe I was, but never _actually_ was.

“But, what I giveth to you, I taketh away –I like Rory better. She’s more beautiful than you and she’s a fiery little thing. She even might be smarter than you, too.”

“I’m not,” Rory laughed.

“Oh Rory, you’re in for a long life with him if you insist on puffing up his ego like that. You’re too good for him.”

“Yes she is,” Jess agreed.

“The two of you are a perfect balance for one another. You challenge each other, you demand the best from one another, you won’t compromise yourselves, nor will you allow the other person to compromise their desires, their passions, their beliefs or their dreams for your own benefit.

“You refuse to take the easy road. You fight. You suffer. You get mad. You’re mean to one another because you can be. You say things you shouldn’t because it’s easier to be hateful to the person you love than admit you’re wrong, or scared.

“But you love each other –my God, do you love each other. You are both supremely flawed, supremely human, supremely extraordinary. I don’t know what exactly made your road to getting here so fraught with difficulty; but as sure as we’re all here today, celebrating your marriage with you, the universe, for all the calamities it threw at you, is no match for the two of you.

“I won’t belabour it, because today is a day for celebration –but the two of you faced a harrowing ordeal last year. It was a thing that could have, and probably would have ripped another couple apart quite easily –but not you two. Even life’s cruelest curveballs can’t touch you. I was humbled and awe-struck by the love I witnessed between the two of you during that time. I used to think that such love only existed in books. Never before had I witnessed any two people love each other so fiercely, to the point where everything around you is crumbling, but you both know you’ll survive. Even when every breath is a battle, you keep breathing because you love each other so much that there is no flight response –all you know how to do, all you can do, is fight. You fought and you won. You’ll always win.

“Jess, do you see that stunning woman in the white dress? She’s your port in the storm –she’ll always keep your head above water, even when you wish she wouldn’t or she might not want to, she will.

“Rory, do you see him? Do you see that man you took to be your husband? He will never let you fall. If you fall when he’s not looking, he’ll pick you up. When you’re too weak to manage on your own he _will_ carry your weight on his back. He’ll do it without blinking or asking any questions.

“You two love each other instinctually. You love each other like you breathe, like your heart beats. It’s not a question. It’s not complicated. It just _is_. You don’t have a choice; loving each other has never been a choice.

“A couple hundred years ago in a God awful, melodramatic novel about Victorian classism which is also, ironically, a how-to guide for obsession and insanity, Emily Bronte wrote, ‘Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same.’ Who knew she was talking about you two? Jess and Rory, whatever souls are made of, yours are the same.”

Rory and Jess were left speechless by Stan’s words. Had they been able to notice the crowd of guests, they would have seen that almost everyone was in tears –including Luke, Richard, Hugo and all the Truncheon boys.

As the evening wore on, dinner was eaten and more toasts were made.

Jess danced with Liz and Lorelai, while Rory danced with Luke and Christopher –who apologized for missing their wedding; Rory was floating on such a cloud of joy that she’d almost forgotten how crushed she was when she’d picked up that voicemail. When Christopher left the party early, Rory danced with Luke again.

Jess danced with Lydia and Rory danced with Daniel –then the four of them snuck upstairs for half an hour so that Lydia and Daniel could tell Rory and Jess all about baby Henry.

William waited _very_ patiently all night long for that giant first piece of cake his sister and his cousin had promised him. When Jess and Rory came back downstairs, he stomped over to them. “Can you guys cut the cake and twy it to make sure it good now? Mommy and Daddy say I need go sleep soon and I want my piece of cake first.”

“Cake before bed?” Jess asked.

“They weren’t going let me. They said I can have my piece tmowwow, they save it for me. But I told them how you taught me a hard new word and Rowy and you promised I could have cake before anyone.”

“Did you actually promise him that?” Lorelai asked Jess.

“Yeah I did. Rory and I both. We didn’t realize we’d be cutting the cake this late Lorelai, if we knew, we wouldn’t have.”

“You’re talking to a woman who used the oven for storage…”

“Touché.”

“If Luke blows a gasket, I’m telling him that it was his hoodlum nephew’s doing.”

“Gee, thanks,” Jess smirked.

“I love you, Mini Sly,” Lorelai winked.

The cake Sookie created was beautiful –a five tier masterpiece that was half chocolate, half red velvet with white buttercream frosting, covered with peach roses molded from gum paste, to match the bouquet Rory had had on their wedding day. Jess and Rory cut the cake amidst camera flashes and fed each other the traditional single bite, disappointing quite a few of their friends when it _didn’t_ devolve into a minor food fight –off in the back corner of the room, Taylor was once again handing cash to Kirk.

Once they’d taste tested the cake, Rory handed the plate to her brother and helped him sit down at a table with it. He fell asleep after only five bites. Luke carried William upstairs to a quiet bedroom where he slept soundly until the house emptied in the wee hours of the morning.

* * *

As the sun rose the next day, Jess and Rory were just drifting off to sleep after enjoying a repeat of their wedding night –complete with another pair of satin underwear with a lace flower cutout, in a slightly darker shade of blue, ripped at the seams and lying gently on top of Jess’ pile of clothing.

“Don’t you wish we could have an epilogue?” Rory wondered quietly, fighting to keep her eyes open.

“Come again?” Jess asked. “Epilogues come at the end of novels, Rory, and we just started a whole new volume. I don’t really want to skip right to the end.”

“No, I don’t want to skip to the end. Don’t you wish we could just peek, though? Get a bit of a teaser for what our lives are gonna look like a few years from now?”

“Why spoil the plot for a teaser when we get to have a front-row seat, living it every day?”

“True. I’m just so curious. This isn’t a book I can polish off in a few hours.”

“I’m curious too, Ror. But I don’t want any spoilers; I don’t want to be cheated out of one second of our lives together. When would you like this proposed epilogue to take place?”

“Five years –maybe seven,” Rory answered.

“You’re impatient to know whether we scratch that seven-year itch, are you?” Jess teased. “Rory, seven years from now we’ll be just like this. Maybe we’ll have a bigger apartment –maybe even a house. Maybe we’ll have a kid –maybe we’ll have two. We will, sadly, have a few more wrinkles. Maybe we’ll be working the same jobs, maybe we’ll be doing something new. We won’t know till we get there, and that’s the best part. The only thing I know is that barring catastrophe, you’ll still be my wife and I’ll still be your husband. We’ll have had some fights –possibly a few very nasty ones. But I know I’ll love you more in seven years than I do right now –which, in this moment is hard to imagine. Ask in seven years, I’ll happily repeat my answer –more or less, anyway.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what I like to call the fake out-ending. Is the story complete as of now, with no need for anything else? Absolutely, yes. It is an ending I'm perfectly happy with. But as Rory makes a case for wishing she could peek at an epilogue for her life spent as Jess' wife just as a teaser, you, the readers will get it. It will, unsurprisingly, as per Rory's wish, take place between five or seven years in the future. I ain't done until I've given you a vivid picture of their life together as a married couple and how their lives can be expected to unfold beyond the ending.


	76. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be back, post revival and when This Is Us gives me enough canon to work with!

Looking back on that day in October when Rory had expressed to Jess a desire for a sneak peek of what their lives would be like, she couldn’t have imagined all the things that the first seven years of marriage had in store for them.

Three years to the day after their wedding reception party, Rory gave birth to a daughter. Charlotte Victoria Gilmore-Mariano was born on October twenty-first, 2015.

Stan, of course, rolled his eyes and sighed at their choice for her first name. “Did you have to name her after a _Bronte_? Really?” he asked.

“Just for you, Famy,” Jess winked.

Charlotte shared the same middle name as Lorelai, whom Charlotte referred to as Mamy –Lorelai would never abide being called Grandma, especially with a son of her own who was barely six when Charlotte was born. Luke became Poppa.

A year after Charlotte was born, Rory and Jess realized a dream they’d started discussing after they got married –they opened their own bookstore and publishing house, Book Tease Publishing & Retail.

Once the ball got rolling at Book Tease and they knew they could stay afloat, Rory took a bit of a step back from journalism, working freelance for the _Times_ , magazines like _The New Yorker_ and even having a steady flow of work from Hugo.

Rory loved working in the bookstore – _her_ bookstore. She and Jess only had a handful of employees, determined to remain actively engaged in all levels of the business. She worked the floor and front of house while Jess worked as executive editor on the publishing end; Rory had editors’ duties as well, but her time was split sixty/forty between working the retail floor and looking at manuscripts. Book Tease operated as a partner of Truncheon.

A month after Charlotte turned two, Rory and Jess had a son. Lucas Daniel Gilmore-Mariano was born on November twelfth, 2017. Just as Daniel had done when Henry was born, Jess and Rory agreed that their son would bear Daniel as a middle name in honour of their good friend. When Lydia gave birth to a daughter the same year that Charlotte was born, she and Daniel named her Tessa Laurel –Laurel being a variation of Lorelai- after Rory.

* * *

“Hey, James, did we get the latest batch back from the printers’ yet?” Jess asked anxiously. “That shipment had better have come in today, or there’ll be hell to pay.”

“No need to go around killing people, boss,” James laughed. “The thing you’re looking for is on your desk.”

“You’re sure?”

“I put it there –so yeah, I’m pretty sure.”

Jess sprinted to his office and saw a thin rectangle on his desk, wrapped in pink tissue paper. “You wrap this, James?” he called out.

“You’re welcome,” James shouted back. “You’d better go, boss. If you’re late you’ll be in trouble –and she _hates_ it when you’re late.”

“I can’t be late today; she won’t just hate it; she might disown me.”

“Can’t have that.”  
             
“Nope. You got the keys? I’m gonna slip out the back.”

“I got ‘em. Get gone! Say hi for me!”

“Will do. See you tomorrow James.”

* * *

“Hello? Is anyone home?” Jess called out.

“Daddy! Daddy!” Charlotte giggled and screeched as she ran to the door.

“Rory, have you seen our daughter?”

“Daddy, it’s me!”

“No, no. That’s not possible. How old are you?”

“Four.”

“Four? See –my daughter’s three. You do look a lot like her though: same dark hair, same brown eyes, you even have a crooked little mouth –a cool thing she shares with me, her dad. Are you sure you don’t know where she is? Today’s a special day; I have something for her.”

“It’s me, Daddy,” Charlotte smiled. “I’m only four from today. It’s my birfday.”

“It’s Char’s birthday today too! Wait –can you do that again? Smile for me.”

Charlotte smiled again, one side of her mouth drooping slightly, just like Jess’.

Jess gasped, letting his eyes go wide before he grabbed Charlotte in his arms and tickled her until she went limp from laughter. “It _is_ you! Oh, thank goodness. Happy birthday, spunky little lady,” he smirked. “Where’s Mom?”

“Kitchen _._ ”

“You left her in there by herself?! But what if she burns the house down?”

“I heard that,” Rory called out.

Just then, Jess heard Lucas start to cry upstairs. “Hey spunky lady, go keep an eye on your mom and I’m gonna go get your brother, okay? If she touches the stove, yell.”

“She have to touch the stove, Daddy. She making me cake. Aunt Sookie told her how,” Charlotte told him.

“Oh boy. Well, don’t let her open the stove door till I get back, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’m trusting you to keep this family safe,” Jess kissed his daughter’s forehead before sending her into the kitchen and going upstairs to check on his son.

“Dad? When can I open the present?”

“The special present? Before bed.”

“But that’s so long,” Charlotte whined.

“Trust me Char, it’s a before bedtime present,” Jess winked. “Now go help Mommy. I’ll be right back.”

As soon as Lucas saw Jess, his tears stopped, though his face was still puffy. “Daaaa!” he said, standing with his arms out, reaching through the bars of his crib.

Charlotte took after Jess and Lucas took after Rory. Lucas’ hair was a lighter shade of brown and he had fairer skin and more freckles than his sister; he had the same piercing blue eyes as his mom too.

“Geez kid, girls are gonna be falling all over you in fifteen years. Remind me to get you a leather jacket –or not,” Jess chuckled, picking him up. “Let’s get you changed and then we can go see Mom and Char, okay?”

“Hi,” Rory smiled when Jess entered the kitchen with Lucas on his hip. She kissed her husband’s lips softly.

“Gross!” Charlotte laughed.

Jess stuck his tongue out at Charlotte and grinned at Rory. “Hi.”

“How’s my mini-me?” Rory asked, touching noses with Lucas.

“Awake and dry,” Jess answered.

“Two good things.”

“Yup. So, what’s this I hear about you attempting to harness your inner Sookie?”

“Har, har, Jess. It’s a simple recipe, I promise.”

“Okay, but if you injure yourself or set the house on fire, it’d kinda ruin the spunky girl’s birthday.”

“You’re hilarious,” Rory deadpanned. “No _Titus Andronicus_ jokes please.”

“Of course not.”

“What’s _Titus Andronis_?” Charlotte asked.

 _“Titus Andronicus_ ,” Jess said, pronouncing the name slowly, “is a play, which you are much too young to read, spunky lady.”

“Why?”

“Because you think Mom and Dad kissing is gross, Char,” Rory said. “And me kissing your dad is _nothing_ compared to the yuck factor in this play.”

“Well, when can I read it?”

“Ask us again when you’re sixteen, kid,” Jess smiled.

“Hey, Dodger, did you get the thing? The special thing?” Rory asked in a whisper.

“Yes, Ror, I got the special thing, which our daughter saw me walk in the door with.”

“The special thing for meeee! Because it’s my birfday!” Charlotte smiled. “Mom didn’t burn the house down, Dad. I made sure.”

“That’s my girl,” Jess smirked. “Hey Char, have you talked to Mamy and Poppa today?”

“Yeah. Uncle Will too. I still think it’s weird… how can I have a uncle that’s only six years bigger than me? I thought uncles were supposed to be old, like Mommies and Daddies; that’s what everyone at school says.”

“We’ll explain it to you one day,” Rory promised. “And your dad and I aren’t old, Char.”

“Not very, anyway,” Jess said quietly. “We’re thirty-five, that constitutes being deep-ish in the threes.”

“See? Daddy even says you old! He knows!”

“Char, don’t make us tickle an apology out of you,” Jess warned.

“Sorry! I sorry!” Charlotte giggled.

“It’s a good thing you’re cute, young lady,” Rory grinned. “She’s inheriting your snark, Jess.”

“That’s my girl,” Jess repeated proudly, securing Lucas into his highchair.

“Hey, who’s closing today?” Rory asked.

“James.”

“Good.”

“So, guess who _finally_ wrote another book?”

“You?” Charlotte asked excitedly.

“Maybe,” Jess teased. “But I wasn’t talking about me.”

“Then who? We know too many people who write books, Daddy.”

“In a few years, if your mom and I are _any_ good at this parenting thing, you won’t think there’s any such thing as ‘knowing too many people who write books,’ spunky lady.”

“Fine,” Charlotte sighed. “Who?”

“Uncle Stan. And guess who he wants to publish it?” Jess asked Rory.

“Are you kidding?” Rory asked quietly. “He wants _us_?”

Jess nodded. “He called me today, saying he gave his literary agent specific instructions that no other publisher was allowed to touch it. He wants both of us as editors.”

“That’ll be such a coup for us!” Rory laughed excitedly and kissed Jess deeply.

“ _Gross_!” Charlotte screeched. “I saw your tongues that time!”

The doorbell rang and Rory got up. “That’s the pizza. Hey Char, tell Dad what you got from Great-Grandma and Great-Grandpa for your birthday, sweetie.”

“They got me pearls,” Charlotte grinned. “They pretty.”

Jess rolled his eyes. “ _Gross_!” he said sarcastically. “They do know that your mom’s the thirty-five-year-old, not you, right Char?”

“They know I four. I like the pearls, Daddy.”

“Fine,” Jess sighed. “As long as you like them, I guess. But you can’t wear them every day, okay?”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re only four and you’re _way_ too cool to wear pearls every day. Only boring girls wear pearls every day.”

“But Great-Grandma wear pearls all the time. Do that mean she boring?”

“Only sometimes,” Jess winked. “Daddy-daughter secret? Pinky swear?”

“Daddy-daughter secret. Pinky swear,” Charlotte promised, locking fingers with Jess. “I talked to Nanny Liz after school today.”

“How’s Nanny Liz?”

“She good. She wants you to call more.”

“Of course she does,” Jess smirked.

“Pizza!” Lucas squealed excitedly, pointing at the box Rory was carrying when she came back to the kitchen.

“He’s my son, that’s for sure,” Rory laughed.

“Not even two with a limited arsenal of words, almost more excited for pizza than he is to see Dad? Yup, he’s your kid, Ror,” Jess said.

Rory took a small piece of pizza and tore it into tiny bites, setting it on a plastic plate and giving it to Lucas, who happily picked it up with his pudgy fingers and ate almost the whole thing.

“I still can’t believe she likes _pineapple_ on her pizza,” Jess said to Rory quietly as Charlotte ate. “Where do you think she got that? Not from us, that’s for sure.”

Rory shrugged. “Latent awareness of nutrition from Luke, maybe? That’s my best guess –which would make it technically your fault.”

“What? How?”

“Your side of the family…”

After pizza, Rory put candles on Charlotte’s cake and they sang Happy Birthday; Jess helped her blow out the candles. It actually tasted quite good.

“When we get back to Stars Hollow I must thank Sookie for making sure you didn’t poison everyone,” Jess teased.

“You’re funny,” Rory smirked.

“Mom, can we watch some _Saved By The Bell_?” Charlotte asked.

“ _That_ is all _your_ fault,” Jess whispered to Rory.

“Sure, sweetie,” Rory answered. “We can watch a few before you get ready for bed.”

* * *

Jess put Lucas down to sleep for the night while Rory gave Charlotte her bath. When Lucas was sleeping soundly, Jess waited and watched with admiration and love as Rory laughed and joked with their daughter while brushing her wet hair and tying it back, getting her into her pajamas and helping her climb into her big girl bed.

“Okay spunky lady, you ready for your special gift?” Jess asked Charlotte once she was settled.

“Yes please!” Charlotte smiled.

“Get under the covers and get extra comfy first, please,” Rory told her. “Okay. All set?”

“All set!”

Jess produced the gift from behind his back. “For you, madam,” he said, handing it to his daughter.

Charlotte excitedly tore through the paper and found that she was holding a small picture book. She couldn’t make sense of the words in the title. The only thing she recognized was her father’s name at the bottom, and a picture on the cover that looked like a cartoon version of her parents. “You _did_ write another book, Daddy!”

“I did.”

“What does it say? What’s it called? These words are hard.”

“It says _The Hoodlum and the Book Tease_ ,” Jess said slowly, pointing to the words as he spoke them. “I’m the hoodlum, Mommy’s the book tease.”

“What’s a hoodlum?”

“A person who likes to cause trouble.”

“You caused trouble?”

“Lots.”

“Was it fun?” Charlotte whispered.

“Tons,” Jess winked.

“Yup,” Rory sighed. “Daddy’s little girl.”

“Book tease is the name of the store,” Charlotte said.

“Yeah, it is,” Jess answered.

“That’s Mommy? The store is named after Mommy? Why? What’s a book tease?”

“That’s a complicated question,” Jess chuckled. “I told your mom she was a book tease once, a long time ago. She promised to give me a book of hers that I wanted, if I did something I didn’t want to do.”

“What did you not wanna do?”

“Have dinner with Great-Grandma,” Rory answered.

“But why? You like Great-Grandma, Daddy, and she likes you.”

“It was different back then,” Jess answered. “But your mom promised to lend me a really good book if I went… so I did.”

“How was it?”

“We’ll save that part of the story for another day, when you’re older.”

“Okay,” Charlotte sighed. “Did Mommy give you the book after?”

“Nope, she forgot.”

“Mom! You should’ve given him the book! He went to dinner like you wanted.”

“You’re right Char,” Rory smiled.

“So what’s _this_ book about?” Charlotte asked, holding up the book in her lap.

“It’s the story of your mom and me,” Jess smiled. “I wrote it just for you. Mom helped too.”

“Thank you!” Charlotte smiled, kneeling up and wrapping one short arm around each of her parents.

“Should we read it together?” Rory asked.

Charlotte nodded and snuggled back down under her covers as Jess and Rory laid down on either side of their daughter. They read the dedication first, which said: _To Charlotte, our favourite spunky little lady for her birthday. Mommy and Daddy love you always_. The story that followed was a simple retelling of Rory and Jess’ history –how the love of a book tease eventually softened the hoodlum’s heart; how it turned out that the book tease was the only girl the hoodlum ever really loved and it just took them a while to figure it out, but once they did, they lived happy lives and eventually had a book tease and a hoodlum of their own.

“Which one am I?” Charlotte asked. “Am I your hoodlum, or your book tease?”

“I think you might be a bit of both,” Rory laughed quietly. “Lucas needs another few years before we know which one he is. He might be both, too.”

“Which one do you want to be, spunky lady?” Jess asked.

“Both. But I think more hoodlum, just a bit of book tease,” Charlotte smiled, looking at her dad.

“That’s my girl,” Jess smiled, kissing Charlotte’s cheek.

“Your face is prickly Daddy. You should shave.”

“You don’t like the scruff?”

“No. It’s prickly. And I can’t see your face."

“Huh,” Jess sighed. “And with that, I might have a clean shaven face for the first time in over ten years. If my daughter says I have a prickly face…”

“Mom? Dad?” Charlotte whispered.

“Yeah Hun?” Rory said, smoothing Charlotte’s hair.

“Thank you for my special present. I love it. You’re the best Mommy and Daddy ever.”

“You’re welcome, spunky lady,” Jess smiled, kissing her cheek again. “Go to sleep now. I love you, Char.”

“Goodnight sweet girl, I love you. Happy birthday,” Rory said, pulling the covers up around her.

“Wait!” Charlotte said. “I have a question, Mommy.”

“What is it?”

“What’s a withering stare?”

“It makes other people feel shy or embarrassed,” Jess laughed. “Your mom has a really good one. It’s one of her secret weapons against me.”

“Will you teach me how to have one, Mom?”

“Of course,” Rory grinned. “We’ll start practicing tomorrow.”

“Mmm’kay. Thank you. G’night!”

* * *

Jess and Rory looked in on Lucas before going to their own bedroom. Jess sighed deeply as he collapsed onto the bed.

“What’s the matter, Dodger?” Rory asked, running her fingers through his hair.

“Nothing,” Jess said quietly. “Just thinking about how crazy Stars Hollow is gonna be –and I’m exhausted already.”

“It’s always hectic when we go back at Thanksgiving. Ever since we had both our kids in the fall with birthdays less than a month apart, it just makes sense to celebrate them both with everyone when we’re there for Thanksgiving.”

“I know. We really didn’t plan these kids well. If we were thinking straight, we would’ve tried to minimize our exposure to insanity.”

“Even after all this time, Stars Hollow hasn’t grown on you at all?”

“In the sense that I like some of the people there more than I used to, sure. But not in the sense that I’m ever chomping at the bit to go back,” Jess smirked.

“Char likes all the festivals,” Rory said. “Last time we were there she asked if we could move into Luke’s apartment above the diner, since he doesn’t use it.”

“I would do anything for that little girl, Ror –”

“I know, who knew you were such a softie?”

“I would do anything for that little girl, _except_ move back to Stars Hollow.”

“Oh, so Stars Hollow is like the metaphorical crying baby that doesn’t belong to you that you can hand back when you’ve had enough,” Rory quipped.

“Yes!” Jess smiled. “Exactly. You understand me _so_ well. Just be thankful I’m a different guy than I was fifteen years ago –our kids wouldn’t go anywhere near Stars Hollow.”

“Gotta love the personal growth.” Rory laid back on the bed and wrapped herself in Jess’ arms. “We have an amazing life, Dodger,” she whispered. “We have two beautiful kids; we own a _bookstore and a publishing house_. I love you so much.”

Jess kissed Rory’s hair. “We do have a pretty good life. Our kids will grow up surrounded by books and we can teach them how to bicker over Rand and Hemingway. I have a Daddy’s girl who’s gonna be asking to wear leather jackets any day now, and you _know_ Lucas will turn out to be a Mama’s boy of the best variety –it’s happening already. I love you too, Ror. Thank you for marrying me.”

“Thank _you_ for asking.”

“That reminds me –seven years ago you told me you wished you could have a sneak peek. How’d that turn out, sweet girl? Is our amazing life everything you hoped it would be?”

“It’s better than anything I could’ve ever dreamed.”

“Okay, _now_ you’re making it sound like a Disney movie,” Jess laughed.

“But it’s true,” Rory insisted. “It’s magical,” she giggled.

“It’s not magic Rory –it’s what it is, you, me. There’s no magic, it’s just us. _This is us_ , Ror. So…”

“So…”

“Here we are.”

“Yeah, here we are.”

Jess pulled Rory tightly against him and brushed his lips against hers –lightly at first, before forcing her mouth open with his tongue and breathing her in. They kissed with the familiarity that comes with a long history, but with the fervor and hunger they had as teenagers, or when they first got back together thirteen years earlier. “You know when I realized that it was you? When I realized you were all I saw of the future –that any future I had needed to have you in it with me?” he asked quietly.

“When?” Rory asked, tracing his lips lightly with her finger.

“When you started to cry at Truncheon that night. When I picked you up and held you in my lap. Do you remember what I said?”

Rory shook her head silently.

“I said, ‘I know what I want, because I’m holding it in my arms right now.’ When you told me why you came back –why you showed up there that night- everything just clicked. I knew I couldn’t lose you again. I was a done deal, Ror –from night one.”

Tears welled up in Rory’s eyes. Jess wasn’t telling her anything she didn’t already know, but hearing him say it after all these years, with as much love, compassion and sincerity as ever –something about it overwhelmed her. “I love you, Jess. Always.”

Jess kissed her again, deeper than before. He smiled against her lips when he felt her go limp in his arms and her skin became hot to the touch. “Well, whatever else happens between us, at least we know that part still works.”

“In spite of marriage and two kids, yes it does,” Rory laughed. “I’m pretty sure it’ll always work.”

“Thank God. Speaking of our lovely offspring –do you think they’re soundly asleep yet? Both of them?”

“Probably, why?”

“Because,” Jess whispered, flashing a devilish grin, “that seven-year itch is acting up again. I need you to help me scratch it.”

“You keep talking like that, we’ll end up with a third kid.”

“There are worse things. We make beautiful babies.”

“Yes, we do. What’s your excuse going to be next year, or the year after that? You can’t call the seven-year itch forever,” Rory smiled.

“Sure I can. It’ll become the eight-year itch, the nine-year itch, the ten-year itch… and on and on and on.”

“Oh well, when you put it that way –”

“I can never have enough of you, Rory. You know that. A lifetime even –it’s too short,” Jess said tenderly.

“I know the feeling.”

“So, with that in mind, can we stop talking now?”

“Only if you make me,” Rory teased.

“Not only will I make you –but when you do speak, you’ll say _exactly_ what I want to hear.”

“I like the sound of that,” she breathed.

Jess held Rory’s face gently in his hands. He stared into her eyes and spoke so quietly that Rory felt his words more than she heard them. Jess’ warm breath tingled on her skin. “All I’ll ever want is sleeping soundly in this house –the kids. And you. You, Rory. Everything I am, everything I have, everything I’ve become –it all comes back to you and the beautiful children we have. I love this family more than I care about my own life. It’s not about me anymore –it’s all you, and Charlotte, and Lucas. It’s what it is –you, me, and the kids. Everything I live for, everything I love, everything I’ll ever need is right here in this house and in my arms.”

Rory swallowed the lump in her throat and leaned in to capture Jess’ mouth with hers. She pulled his bottom lip lightly between her teeth and she felt him groan. Nothing else was spoken that night –not full sentences anyway.

* * *

This is how it was. Rory and Jess defied the odds. Their life together would not be without strife and strain; but at the end of the day, no matter how bad the storm, they faced everything as a united front. They raised their children in a loving home, full of laughter and stories.

Book Tease Publishing & Retail continued to thrive, and became a beloved family business cherished by those who ran it, knew it, or had any associations with it. It allowed Rory and Jess to live comfortably and provide well for Charlotte and Lucas.

Mamy Lorelai, Poppa Luke, Uncle Will, Nanny Liz, the great-grandparents and all the various aunts and uncles to the kids, made up of friends and extended family were never far.

Jess and Rory managed to carve out the exact happy life that they wanted. They created their own little corner of the world, which never failed to be a safe haven for them, and everyone and everything they loved.

 

 

 

 

THE END


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